Chapter Text
Go on take everything, take everything
Ring. Thud. Whoosh.
Ring. Thud. Whoosh.
The world shuddered. Light pressed against her eyelids, searing through the dark. She blinked once, twice, until shapes began to form - the blur of a wall, the dim smear of shadow.
Pain bloomed behind her eyes. A slow, pulsing ache that pounded in time with her heart and grew with every beat.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
She tried to move. The floor tilted beneath her - or maybe it was her. Everything swayed. She stilled, eyes closing again, breath tight.
The ringing sank to a dull hum. The rush in her head eased - not gone, just…less, like falling through air and suddenly catching herself.
What the fuck…? She forced her eyes open. Took a deep breath. Fire ripped through her ribs, a strangled cry tearing free. That hurt like hell! She wrapped an arm around herself and gingerly rolled onto her back. Metal on her tongue. Blood. She swallowed hard. Her shoulders shook with harsh, shallow sobs. The world refused to focus. Everything hurt. Memories - disjointed, sharp - flashed through her mind.
“Get your bag.”
Gavin…
It was Gavin’s ceiling slipping in and out of focus above her. Gavin’s cold kitchen floor beneath her.
”So…we’re both going to..?”
“Yeah. Yeah…”
…Gavin’s hands grabbing her and slamming her face-first into the wall.
The memories snapped into focus.
Pain exploding above her right eye. Dark spots scattering across her vision. Gavin swinging her around by her arm like a rag doll. The sound of glass shattering behind her from the force of her body smashing into the cabinet. His fist connecting with her face. Her screams and his angry words - devolving into pissed off grunts - filling the room. And the pain. So much pain. She’d lost track - or maybe passed out? - after the first few blows. She remembered hitting the floor, hard. The back of her head striking the ground. Glass crunching beneath her. Cutting into her. His boot slamming into her side, once, twice…then…nothing. She knew there had been more. But her thoughts and memories kept slipping out of focus.
“Fuck…” Kitty whimpered, equally angry and terrified. She drew in a shallow, shuddering breath, rolled herself up onto her hands and knees. She swayed there. Her muscles were barely cooperating. The world tilted beneath her. Her stomach churned. She tried to breathe against the rising nausea. But the battle was lost before it began. She vomited, crying out at the stabbing pain in her ribs every time her stomach heaved. When she was finally done, she shuffled weakly backwards, away from the mixture of vodka, bile and blood. Vomiting up blood was probably a bad sign… Kitty sank her back against the wall. Wrapped her arms around herself, shuddering violently. Took a moment to just breathe.
No sign or sound of Gavin. He must have stormed out as soon as he’d had enough of bouncing her off the walls. Thank fuck. She didn’t think she’d survive a second round. Then again, maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing…
Would anyone even notice?
…Would anyone even care?
Kitty’s eyes eyelids dropped heavily. Her head sank downward. She was starting to drift again. It would be so easy just to let herself slip into blissful oblivion. Just…let the cool darkness envelop her, take her away from all the hurt, all the heartache and misery and shit that followed her around like a shadow every damn day.
Beth. Kitty blinked. Forced her eyelids open. Beth’s face floated in her vision, superimposed over Gavin’s trashed living room. Tears spilled down her cheeks. Stung the little cuts left there by the broken glass. Trickled over her split lip. Snippets of memories from the last 6 weeks flashed through her groggy mind. One after the other. Like a slide show on fast forward. Beth’s excited face as she backed out of her door that first morning. The first song they’d written, sitting side by side at Beth’s piano and singing along together. The tender concern in her expression that night at the Indian restaurant. Her face, alight with pure joy as they performed at the talent contest. And more and more.
A sob ripped from deep in Kitty’s chest. The pain barely registered. She staggered to her feet, clinging onto the kitchen counter for support. Forcing her trembling legs to hold her up by sheer will-power alone, she pulled her bag towards her and dug around for her phone. With it clutched in her hand, she sank back down to the ground, flipped it open. Tapped on calls.
And then she hesitated. Finger hovering over Beth’s number. They hadn’t exactly parted on the best terms. Kitty scoffed internally at that understatement. Either earlier that day, or the day Kitty had stormed out of Beth’s house. Kitty squeezed her eyelids shut, remembering everything that had been said. The look of hurt in Beth’s eyes. She probably wouldn’t be hugely happy being woken up at stupid o’clock because Kitty was in trouble, yet again. In fact, she was probably the last person Beth wanted to hear from right now.
Sniffling, Kitty scrubbed at the damp mixture of tears and blood on her cheeks. Swiped through her contacts. Tapped on a different name. The only person she thought might be willing to help. Then she lifted the phone to her ear.
She just hoped Holly would answer…