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It's been a week since Ray woke up with those warm arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Between Sand's million jobs and Ray's schoolwork and other social activities, which mostly included getting shitfaced to the point where she couldn't even find her in her contact list, they haven't had a lot of time to spend together, but today's Halloween, and their whole day, and night, is scheduled by the minute. This year it falls on Friday, thank God, and if it wasn't for her morning classes, it couldn't have been more perfect.
She grumbles softly and reaches for her phone to check the time. Well, she can be a little late. It's already a reason for celebration if she actually comes there.
Sand stirs in her sleep and mumbles something into her hair.
"I have to go, baby. I should've been in the car like ten minutes ago," Ray runs her fingertips over her forearm.
"Are you sure you can't skip it?" Sand's voice is rough from the sleep, and her breath is warm against Ray's neck.
"Funny hearing it from you," she disentangles herself from Sand's arms and picks up her blouse from the floor. "I would love to, but I already promised Mew I'll give her a lift home after."
Sand rolls on her back and rubs her face in an attempt to wake up. "Mhm, promise you'll get something for breakfast there?"
Ray zips her skirt up and tries to ignore the way her heart squeezes at the request. "I promise. Close the door after me?"
Sand nods and finally gets out of bed to follow her to the exit. Her hair is messy from the sleep, and her eyes are closing like she's a newborn kitten. Ray knows she'll go back to sleep the moment she's out the door, but she's still standing there, waiting for her to put on her flats, and it's so cute she just wants to swallow her whole and never let go.
"See you in a few hours." She puts her hand on the door handle but turns back for one last glance.
Sand tilts her head, and her smile sparkles under the soft morning sunlight, and Ray just can't shrug it off anymore, so instead of leaving, she takes a step back and wraps her arms around Sand's neck, squeezing as hard as she can, prompting a slightly surprised giggle from her.
She wants to say she loves her so bad at that moment, but the least she can do now is keep quiet after everything she's done to her, because that's what Sand always does - she makes her breakfast in the morning and takes care of her when she's drunk and makes her so, so happy every day they're together while ignoring the fact that Ray is in love with her best friend.
"Yo really outdid herself this year, didn't she?" Mew's eyes are big and shiny with all shades of pink and purple as she gazes around the club, covered by fake spiderwebs and with real-life pumpkins on the tables, serving as lanterns.
"Mhm. Who are you dressed as?" Ray skims over her tight black dress and blood-red lips. It's incredibly hot, but she has no idea who she's supposed to be.
"Morticia, obviously. Top is my Gomez," Mew beams with pride, and Ray fights the urge to roll her eyes.
"And where is he?"
"Should be around here somewhere. Who are you, though?"
Ray smiles and gives her a little twirl. Her plaid skirt is barely covering her ass, and her specifically ordered purse that looks exactly like a meteor hammer swings around, making other people in the club scatter in fear. "Is that not obvious?"
Mew blinks at her and pouts her lips, as if to say she's blanking.
"Gogo Yubari? Sandy is The Bride, and we even painted her bike yellow and put the Pussy Wagon sticker on it. It's so cute."
"Yeah, I've got no idea what any of that means."
"Kill Bill?"
"Oh, I haven't seen it." Mew swipes her long black hair behind her shoulder. "Let's order a drink."
Ray sighs and follows her to the bar. Meanwhile, her mind is getting flooded with images of her and Sand in that tiny bed a few weeks ago, bare limbs tangled and stoned giggles rising in the throat every couple of minutes while watching The Bride massacre the Deadly Vipers.
When Top, with his ugly fucking worm mustache, finally demeans himself enough to come say hi to his girlfriend and her friends, Ray, so as not to get more annoyed with him than she already is, leaves and sneaks backstage to find her Beatrix tuning the strings of her guitar, which she immediately replaces with herself in her arms.
"You look so hot," she whispers into her ear before biting it like a teething puppy. Sand, always the one to wear baggy jeans with oversized band t-shirts, which is obviously still sexy to Ray in a certain way, is now dressed in a tight yellow jumpsuit, revealing her tiny waist and the curve of her ass that Ray immediately puts her hands onto, squeezing roughly.
Sand giggles at the unusual-for-her touchy affection and kisses her back quickly before putting her hands on her cheeks and holding Ray's face to look her in the eyes with a playful frown. "How much did you drink already?"
"Just one cocktail, baby. I remember we have plans tonight," she steals another kiss. "How much time do you have?"
Sand's hand goes down to her bare thigh, wrapping around it under the skirt. "And why are you asking?" Her tone is teasing, so is the smile on her lips.
"Because if you're forbidding me from getting wasted tonight, I'll obviously need some other source of dopamine, which might as well be your tongue."
"Didn't know you liked my singing that much." Sand pushes her down onto the dusty couch. The room is more like a broom closet, full of random broken bar stools and sound equipment, but Yo lets her sleep there when she's too tired to go home in between her classes and evening sets.
Ray giggles and puts her leg over Sand's shoulder, who's already down to her knees and teasingly biting down on the soft skin of her inner thigh. "Stop playing," she whines and slips her hand into the messy ersatz of a wolf cut.
"I have like ten minutes, so you better be telling the truth about finding me hot now."
The implication is crazy to Ray considering how she can make her come in three whatever she looks like, but she obediently lifts her hips up, letting Sand pull off her panties over the knee-high socks and white Converse, and leans back on her elbows.
Sand is always extra nice to her when she's not drinking. She knows Ray has a problem that's not just rooted in addiction, senses it on some subconscious level because Ray would never let her see the ugly side of it all, and she always tells her not to drink too much in a very simple "I want you to be healthy" way, but when she does that, as if feeling like she might be overstepping the boundaries, she makes up for it in affection and sex.
There's nothing Ray can't ask her for in those moments and she would deny. Because Sand is not the one to eat her friend with benefits out on a dusty couch in her work time, knowing perfectly well her boss might come in any second now, but she still does it, even without Ray using her pleading puppy eyes on her, and she still curves her fingers inside and works her tongue in circles and kitten licks over her clit until Ray is gasping for air and then comes up to kiss her deeply, smearing Ray's lipstick between them after she comes.
When Ray eventually comes out onto the dance floor after fixing her ruined makeup, Sand is already on stage, so she hits her with a cheeky wink, giggles bubbling up in her chest from seeing her flustered face. It's a good day, she thinks. She'll dance with her friends, and then she'll go to the parking lot concert with Sand, and after that they'll have sex all over the flat, because, thank God, Nick won't be there, and maybe everything's not that bad in her life.
Half an hour later she goes outside for a cigarette, basking in the tranquil silence and mind-numbing effect of the nicotine, trying to wave away the suffocating guilt of being torn apart between the two people she loves the most right now. It's not the time to think about that.
When she comes back, however, the club is strangely quiet, so she pushes the crowd apart to get to the middle of the dance floor, where, to her surprise, she finds Mew staring Top down with pure rage in her eyes.
"You're not going to say anything?" She hisses at him, crossing her arms.
"Mew, let's not make a scene." His hands fly up in a defensive gesture like she's a wild animal who can rip his throat out in a second. She looks accordingly.
Ray's eyes find Sand's, who looks terrified and maybe slightly intrigued. She shrugs her shoulder and mouthes "I don't know" to her.
Mew purses her lips and nods a few times, and then, as if having made a decision, she resolutely steps to the nearby table, grabs a drink from it, and splashes it all over Top's face to Ray's delight. As if the day couldn't get any better.
"Fuck you, Top. It's over." Her hands are visibly shaking.
The drawn-on mustache smudges when he wipes his face. "We'll talk when you calm down." He turns on his heels and walks to the exit, fists clenched tight.
Ray watches his walk of shame, struggling not to smile, which is why Mew, who throws herself in her arms with a sob, almost knocks her down, but she quickly recovers, wrapping her arms around her waist.
"What happened?"
"He cheated on me, Ray. He says it's not true, but I heard it. I know he did." Her voice is muffled from crying, and this is as much as Ray can make out.
She sits her down on the couch and wipes the tears away from her cheeks. "I'm so sorry," she tries to say as gently as she can. "I told you," a voice screams repeatedly in her head.
"You were right. I'm such an idiot for not listening to you."
Ray smoothes her hair. "It's not your fault. That's just how love works. You couldn't have predicted that." She glances around, and Sand is nowhere to be found. The clock reads five minutes past eleven, which means they should have left already, but Sand can wait a little, right?
"Can you take me home now? I guess I don't have a ride anymore," Mew sobs again and then downs a shot.
Ray squeezes her eyes. "Shit, Mew. I totally would, but I already have plans, and I just can't. I'll call you a grab, okay?"
Mew's face falls flat. "Are you fucking serious right now?"
"But I promised her."
"So that's it? You're choosing her over me?"
"I was choosing you for years. I just can't do it anymore," Ray's voice is barely above a whisper, but she still keeps running her hand lovingly over Mew's hair, who instead pushes it away.
"Then leave me alone." Her defeated sigh breaks Ray's heart a little, and so do the numbers on her watch.
She stands up and smoothes her skirt. "I'll call you later. I'm so sorry, Mew. I really am." And she leaves, wishing the tears not to spill.
Outside Sand is leaning against her toxic yellow Pussy Wagon with a cigarette in her mouth. Ray thinks they might have gotten the shade wrong; in the dark it glows with neon a little too much.
"So?" She puffs a tiny cloud. "You're canceling?"
"What? Of course not. I promised you."
Sand's expression is unreadable in the dark, something in between shock and mockery.
"But Mew. She looks heartbroken."
"She'll be heartbroken whether I'm with her or not." Ray steps closer and takes a cigarette from her fingers. "Let's go."
"Ray..."
Sand looks scared, like she can't believe her eyes and ears, and Ray's mind is screaming at her to fix it, to tell her she chooses her and that she's sorry it took her such a long time. That she loves her.
"I told her I'm going with you. Please," the words get stuck in her throat.
Sand always understands her like no one else; she must get it right.
But the kiss, the hug, whatever, never comes. Sand's clenched fists go quiescent in her lap, thumbs digging into her skin until it goes white.
Ray throws the cigarette aside and covers her hands with her own. She is going to fix it this time.
So she intertwines their fingers and brings Sand's hand to her lips, leaving a shy kiss on her knuckles. "I love you and I don't want to be with her right now; I want to be with you."
Sand's eyes are glassy when she finally looks up at her. "Are you sure?"
An answer comes as a deep kiss on her lips.
"I'm sure. I'll do anything for you to believe me."