Work Text:
He's the ALPHA
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Jeongin apparently got really lucky with roommate assignments.
As a freshman stuck in a 'random lottery' roommate pool, he could have gotten anyone—from psycho stalker to obnoxious fuckboy. He's heard the horror stories, of course he has, of freshman year roommates so horrible that students have dropped out of school. But, Minho his upperclassman tells him that he got extremely lucky.
He's got Hyunjin.
To be quite honest, Jeongin was a little overcome with nerves for the first few days. Orientation, moving in, his parents, the whole ordeal was a little overwhelming. Jeongin does well under pressure and stress. He always has, though for some reason he couldn't shake the nervous jitters that came with navigating a new environment so far from home.
Hyunjin is a sophomore who apparently got unlucky with housing this year when his old roommate dropped out at the last minute. He got thrown into the random lottery instead and boom—now he has Jeongin. Hyunjin is a beta, some variety of art major that Jeongin forgot because his side of the room is plastered in canvases, sketches, pottery, sculptures… Jeongin isn't really sure if he's specializing in anything but he seems good at everything. Best of all though, Hyunjin and Jeongin get along.
They follow similar sleep schedules, Hyunjin isn't too loud (except for when he's gossiping but he's usually just talking to Jeongin), and he keeps his side of the room neat. He follows good hygiene (which Jeongin didn't think would be a thing he would have to worry about in a roommate, but apparently it is an issue), and as a sophomore who knows his way around he's able to show Jeongin the ropes.
It's nice having a roommate who cares enough to share meals with you, helps you to find your classes, and knows when to give you space and when to bother you. So, Jeongin got really lucky.
Although at this very moment, he feels more of a displaced anger towards his roommate than fondness.
It started with an off-handed comment about Jeongin joining the soccer team this year. Duh, of course he was going to join. As if the trophies, medals, and soccer-themed paraphernalia taking over his side of the room weren't answer enough.
But Hyunjin had to be the one to break the news.
"They're going alpha-only this year."
"What do you mean?" Jeongin's voice cracks from the imminent panic. Because that can't be true. Surely not when the only reason he chose this school in the first place was because of their soccer team. Maybe Hyunjin is mistaken—the beta doesn't care for sports anyway, so maybe he misunderstood.
But Hyunjin whips his phone screen around to reveal the school's Instagram post advertising soccer tryouts. His brightness is up so much that Jeongin has to squint to read it at first but…
"SKZU, are you ready? Join us this Wednesday at 6 p..m. for soccer tryouts!! Alphas only," Jeongin reads aloud. "Alphas only?" He stands up from his desk outraged, his chair knocking out from beneath him and clattering to the floor with a bang. Hyunjin winces, as if expecting his roommate's reaction.
"They hired a new coach this year," Hyunjin tries to explain. "Apparently he's an alpha knot-head and nobody likes him. He's really mean and doesn't like omegas. Alpha superiority complex and all that. There's already protests—"
Unfortunately Hyunjin's words go through one ear and right out the other as Jeongin paces back and forth. Tears pinprick at the corners of his eyes but he tries to keep them in. He's only known Hyunjin a couple of weeks at this point and he's not exactly at crying levels of friendship with him yet.
Jeongin doesn't cry. He rarely ever cries. But the thought of not being allowed to play soccer just because of his subgender, it frustrates him more than he knows how to vocalize.
It's not like soccer is his life, per se. But it does make up a fairly large portion of it. Jeongin was the youngest in his high school to ever make varsity, he's been playing as long as he can remember. He barely remembers how anybody on his team reacted when he presented as an omega, because it wasn't that big of a deal. He's heard of people in sports getting discriminated against for their subgender but he never thought it would happen to him.
Being on the field is the one time Jeongin gets to let go. His instincts take over and his mind goes blank and he feels this sense of tranquility. He got scouted to come to this school—can they really turn around and deny him access to the team now?
It's too late into the school year to transfer, and if Jeongin ever wants to think about going pro he needs to make sure he plays all four years of college. Is this it? Is he utterly and royally fucked?
"Ayen-ah," Hyunjin calls, snapping Jeongin out of his panic-induced trance. With a hand brought up to rub his eyes, he realizes a few tears slipped through the cracks when he wasn't paying attention. Damn it.
"I don't know what I'm going to do," Jeongin admits. This isn't defeat, not quite yet, though Jeongin knows to admit when he isn't sure what other options he has. "You're telling me we can have co-subgender dorm rooms but no omegas on the soccer team of all things? And all because one single coach?"
"Can't you just tell them you're an alpha?" Hyunjin suggests. And Jeongin scoffs, a retort on the tip of his tongue. But a small part at the back of his brain tells him 'duh, we can easily do that!' Well, maybe not easily. His heats can be suppressed, his scent blocked, but—
"Hyunjin they check those kinds of things," Jeongin sighs in defeat. If they're requiring only alphas this year, they're sure to ask for documentation. Jeongin is fucked.
"Okay well, I have a friend…" Jeongin shoots his roommate and exasperated look, like 'you have got to be kidding me.' "Wait, hear me out! I have this friend and it's kinda his thing. He's made fake IDs before and documentation. He could really help you out!"
Jeongin slides to the ground, the back of his head hitting the wall with a pathetic 'thump.' When Jeongin groans it sounds more like a whine. Faking documentation is definitely some sort of illegal, right? What is he getting himself into?
"Give me his number," Jeongin says defeatedly. "And if anyone asks you, Hwang Hyunjin, I'm an alpha. I've always been an alpha."
Hyunjin gives him this sort of silly salute and Jeongin scrunches up his face in disdain. He can't believe he's about to put all of his trust into Hwang Hyunjin and his mystery friend but that's exactly what he does.
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It turns out that Hyunjin's mystery friend goes by the name of Han.
"His name is actually Han Jisung but he just goes by Han because he thinks it makes him sound cooler," Hyunjin explains. That doesn't instill Jeongin with the most confidence in this guy but… what can he do.
Jeongin arrives at Han's dorm the next day at 3:25 p.m. Which is the exact time that he was told to be there—a little strange, but apparently this guy is a little strange so he doesn't think anything of it. But then Jeongin actually meets him.
Jeongin knocks three times and the door cracks open just wide enough to reveal a pile of fluffy brown hair and an eyeball. If the guy likes what he sees he doesn't say anything, though he finally opens the door to look back and forth down the hallway. Finally, he grabs Jeongin by the collar of his shirt and abruptly pulls him into his room.
Jeongin laughs nervously. "Is someone out to get you?" he asks. The way he's acting, it sure seems like it.
"You never know," Han shrugs. Ah, this must be another one of this guy's quirks.
His dorm room looks like that of a typical college boy's. Mystery pile of laundry, mystery pile of trash, no decorations (besides a strip of LED lights and an anime poster), and a half-eaten box of pizza on his desk.
Jeongin's soccer career lies in the hands of someone who probably won't wash his sheets this entire semester.
But a wave of relief crashes through his system when Jisung—Han finally hands him the forged medical documentation. It looks legit. Right there on the paper it reads "Name: Yang Jeongin. Date of Birth: 08/02/2001. Subgender Designation: Alpha." It's signed by (what Jeongin presumes is a fake) doctor and everything.
Maybe… just maybe, can he get this to work? Jeongin feels giddy at the thought. The past few days have been ridden with anxiety at the idea that soccer couldn't be in the cards for him. In just a few days it has been dangled in front of his head, ripped away, and then graciously gifted back to him.
He briefly considers falling to his knees in Han Jisung's dorm room to show him his appreciation but he grimaces at the thought of touching whatever ominous substances are soaked into his floor. He'll pass on that for now—maybe he'll just gift him a vacuum instead.
So nobody in all of SKZU knows of Jeongin's true designation except for Hyunjin and Han. With Hyunjin being a beta he can get away with pretending to be an alpha—betas can room with any subgender, whereas omegas cannot room with alphas nor alphas with omegas. It would be suspicious if someone found out he had an omega roommate as an alpha. Jeongin finds himself (not for the first time nor the last) being grateful for his roommate. He only hopes he his kindness is not for naught and that he can repay him by making this damn team.
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Even though Jeongin has all of the proper certifications, he's still nervous when the time comes for tryouts. He super thoroughly checks his scent—he even has Hyunjin check him, and he confirms that Jeongin smells like absolutely nothing at all. No sweet scent of vanilla wafting through to expose his secret. He slathered himself with scent blockers and started taking pheromone suppressants days ago—which means no more heats and much more dulled down pheromones. He reminds himself that as long as he acts confident and looks the part, nobody will question him. He's a great soccer player, after all. He'll fit right in.
He fidgets nervously as he stands in line with all the other alphas. He takes note of the others on the team and the ones who will be trying out with him. There's Chan, who Jeongin recognizes instantly as the team captain from one of the games he visited last year. He's mildly intimidated—Chan's really strong and fast. But from what Jeongin heard, the coach is making everyone try out again this year, even those who have been on the team for years.
"Freshman?" Someone asks quietly from next to him. Jeongin startles out of his thoughts to look at the guy next to him—he hadn't even realized someone was there. His features are pretty, delicate, and his hair long and floppy as he bounces on his feet. He's on the smaller side, scrawny with muscles that are not outwardly obvious. His goalie gloves look humorously large on his hands. For some reason he doesn't quite strike him as an alpha at first. If anything, Jeongin would think he's—
"You do know there are no omegas permitted on the team this year?" A loud voice booms right in front of them, causing Jeongin to realize he's spent so long staring at this guy that he didn't notice their new coach approach them. He ignores the way his heart starts to beat out of his chest from anxiety, a million responses on his tongue before he realize he's not the one being talked to.
"So I've heard," the man says next to him flatly. "That shouldn't be a problem, sir. I'm an alpha."
The coach scoffs and grabs his papers, skeptic. He huffs when he confirms it's true and walks away without saying another word. Jeongin wants to scream after him that he's being discriminatory and playing into omegan stereotypes by judging someone by their appearance, but Jeongin thought the same thing. He feels guilty for thinking it too, but it's often assumed if someone looks feminine or androgynous or doesn't have a lot of muscles that they're an omega. But the man stands tall and sure and Jeongin decides he can picture the mystery man as an alpha or an omega but he shouldn't be so quick to assume anybody's subgender. After all, here he is going undercover as an alpha and praying nobody suspects his real identity.
They both let out a sigh of relief when the coach is out of earshot. Jeongin doesn't feel like he's going to choke on his words out of anxiety now.
"Hi," he finally says. They both laugh a little awkwardly but give genuine smiles. "Yes I'm a first year. Jeongin. What about you?"
"Seungmin," he nods. "Yeah, freshman. It's kind of obvious though, right? Gosh, this year's coach kind of a knothead. He whispers that last part, looking over his shoulder as if to make sure the man in question isn't lurking nearby.
Seungmin seems sweet. He's funny too, and eases Jeongin's nerves somehow. His reassuring smile and small jokes makes Jeongin relax a little bit. He really hopes they both make the team.
Jeongin makes it through the rest of tryouts without being questioned. He feels ecstatic because he got so lucky. Suspicion being placed toward Seungmin at the beginning probably helped his chances. Jeongin plays well—he knows he does, though he huffs in frustration during drills when a certain goalie is able to block some of strikes. Despite his playful animosity toward him being good, he does like Seungmin. He hopes he makes it on the team and he hopes he feels the same way, that he would be interested in having Jeongin as a friend.
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He's nervous in the upcoming days even though he has a good feeling that he'll make the team. He performed really well and he thought he saw a nod of approval from the coach at one point. They need a new center forward so Jeongin is really crossing his fingers that the spirits that be will take mercy on him.
He refreshes the school's sports page at least twenty times a day. If he doesn't make the team then that's it, he guesses. He hasn't told his mom about the issue yet. She would probably call the school and demand equal rights between subgenders, which he appreciates but he doesn't think would work and would definitely blow his cover. She would also definitely give him the "if they don't accept you as an omega than maybe you shouldn't be on the team" spiel, which is probably right, but… doesn't fix any of his current problems. He's been itching to play soccer since the last season ended and he just wants to be out there. If he has to pretend to be an alpha to be on the team, he'll make a damn good alpha.
When the team is officially posted on the website Jeongin holds his breath. Hyunjin hovers over his shoulder looking just as nervous for some reason but Jeongin ignores him. He doesn't see his name at first and panic courses through his body—but then Hyunjin is screaming and shaking him and finally he sees it. He made it.
He checks the other names too—sure enough, Seungmin is there. He's happy to see that he made it on the team as the goalie, glad that whatever stick the coach had up his ass seemed to disappear. A spark of hope flutters through Jeongin's chest because maybe he really can have a friend, multiple friends on the soccer team. Maybe he'll do just fine with fitting in.
Jeongin pushes Hyunjin off of him with an exasperated sigh, belatedly realizing the beta still had him by the shoulders. His excitement radiates off of him and Jeongin is glad to know someone cares about him so much. It's nice to know that the person who is harboring your biggest secret is also rooting for you when it matters. He still turns down Hyunjin's demand to go celebrate, knowing it would likely involve copious amounts of alcohol and people he doesn't know. It's not like he doesn't appreciate a good party but Jeongin prefers to celebrate in his own way, and now he feels more like he needs to decompress than he does get shitfaced.
Jeongin has successfully made the team. The hard part, the real obstacle is finally over. His body which has been holding tension for days finally wants to slump over in relief. It is decided—Jeongin will do anything he can to play the most convincing alpha anybody has ever seen.
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The first few practices are mildly uneventful, though it does reinforce to Jeongin that their coach is kind of a dick. Everybody seems to feel a certain type of about him, even Chan who Jeongin isn't sure has ever felt hatred in his entire life. Coach Choi is a big alpha who pumps out his pheromones and makes them everybody's problem. even though he smells like nasty cigarette smoke instead of something pleasant. But Jeongin's least favorite thing about Coach Choi is not even his booming, grating voice, it's—
"COME ON! I'VE SEEN OMEGAS RUN WITH MORE URGENCY!"
Every time he speaks Jeongin feels like he's going to barf. Everyone is uncomfortable with the way he talks about omegas, or even just the team in general. 'The goalie kid? Seung-something or whatever? Yeah, he's tiny like an omega but he's still a good goalie.' When Jeongin heard him say that he literally saw red.
"Maybe if you spent less time talking about our teammates behind their backs and more time coaching we'd be good," Jeongin muttered under his breath.
Coach Choi whipped his head around just as Seungmin coughed really loud. Despite the way his face got an ugly tomato red he didn't call Jeongin out over it. Seungmin gives him a smile over it later but scolds him for talking back—he better not get kicked off of the team for trying to stand up for him.
Jeongin at least finds comfort in the fact that the entire team doesn't agree with his practices or his words. Even if Coach Choi would maim him if he found out he was an omega, he doesn't necessarily feel like the rest of his team would care.
Chan is especially encouraging on days that their coach is super hard on them. When he makes them run and do drills over and over again despite their calls for a break, Chan makes sure they know they're doing a good job. Jeongin is glad that Chan made the team again this year, even though he shouldn't have had to try out again in the first place, though it's no surprise with how good of a player and leader he is.
Jeongin fights on even when it feels like too much. At the end of the day he risked too much to get on this team. He finds comfort in the way Seungmin rolls his eyes behind Coach Choi's back and the way Chan claps him on the back after a hard practice.
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It's dark outside when Jeongin finally makes his way to the soccer field. He knows nobody is ever here this late on a school night, and when he wants to practice alone or clear his head this is where he comes. He needs this now more than ever, a desire to prove himself and hone his skills to be even greater, especially with their first game coming up. All he wants to do is abuse his soccer ball, striking it into the goal over and over again until his lungs burn from overexertion.
But when he arrives at the field, he isn't alone. Across the dimly lit field he barely makes out another figure and he fights back the urge to groan—of course someone else would bother him here when he had plans to be by himself. But maybe they won't bother him—maybe they'll pick up on his 'fuck off' signals and take the hint and keep to themselves.
But one thing about Jeongin is that he's never lucky. The figure perks up in recognition and calls his name, beckoning him over from where he stands frozen on the sidelines.
One belated second later Jeongin realizes that it's Seungmin and for some reason he lets out a breath of relief. It could have been worse, as far as people go. The goalie seems to be practicing all by himself, which seems counterintuitive until Jeongin realizes he's just practicing drills. It looks like he's been running, maneuvering, practicing footwork, though he seems uncertain about it. Like he's outside of his element. It makes Jeongin wonder if he wanted someone to practice with but couldn't find anybody this late so resorted to practicing alone.
A glint of excitement flashes over Seungmin's face, as if Jeongin's presence is exactly what he needed. That only confirms Jeongin's suspicions, and when the goalie comes running over to him with a sideways grin he forgets his initial animosity. Jeongin can predict his words before they even come out of his mouth.
"Wanna practice with me, Jeongin?" And in reality, Jeongin is probably the best person for Seungmin to practice with as center forward. All it takes is a smile and a nod and Jeongin officially has a designated practice-buddy. He's happy with this turn of events. He already knew that he liked Seungmin, even from tryouts he knew there was something about him. Without knowing much about the alpha Jeongin feels like they're quite similar, with quiet and introspective demeanors and an apprehensiveness toward new people. It seems only natural for the two to gravitate toward one another.
As for the others on the team, Jeongin's only gotten a chance to talk to Chan for a few minutes and he seems like a pretty good guy. Changbin is intimidating, probably twice Jeongin's size and super loud but he seems super cool too, funny and full of energy. Jeongin doesn't even remember the names of half of the other guys and he hopes that it's just because it's still the beginning of the season but he just doesn't feel close with anybody yet.
Not in the way that he feels with Seungmin, the way they gravitate toward one another even now. He feels like Seungmin isn't a judgmental person and he likes that about him. He's excited to get the chance to hang out with him one on one instead of seeing him from afar.
Seungmin looks excited as he puts his goalie gloves on and Jeongin takes a moment to stretch before he takes the soccer ball and gets started.
The first few kicks are more of a warmup but Seungmin dutifully blocks each one anyway. Once Jeongin really gets into it and kicks with his full power, he's met with surprise when Seungmin can still keep up. It looks effortless, the way his lithe body stretches and dives to keep the ball away each time. Jeongin's torn between feeling frustrated and impressed—even when he thinks there's no way Seungmin could block a certain shot, he'll graze it with his fingertips. It's almost like he has a read on Jeongin, a manual that clues him in to every one of his moves. Jeongin tries not to pout. Seungmin is a great goalie so he knows he shouldn't beat himself over not scoring.
One powerful kick sends the ball flying up high, though it has curve to it and changes trajectory at the last minute. Jeongin watches as Seungmin frowns, the ball flying just out of reach and swishing the net of the goal. Jeongin scored.
Seungmin looks disgruntled over it. Jeongin feels taken aback because Seungmin always seems so calm and composed. The last thing that Jeongin would want to do is upset him this early on, so he finds himself running to the goal before Seungmin can throw the ball back at him.
"It's okay," Jeongin finds himself saying. "You're really good. We're lucky to have you as our goalie."
"I missed," Seungmin points out rather sardonically. "I'm not 'good' if I miss."
"I'm a great soccer player but I'm not going to make every goal I try. You're an amazing goalie. You can't expect to block every shot. If your expectations are too high or unrealistic, you're going to burn yourself out. You need to recognize when you're doing good."
Seungmin seems to regain composure after listening to Jeongin's words, nodding his head in determination.
"Let's try again," Seungmin declares. Jeongin shoots him a grin and Seungmin returns it. Cute.
Jeongin isn't sure how long they practice like this, but somehow he's able to start reading Seungmin just as easily as Seungmin does Jeongin. He practices close-range and mid-field shots, sometimes trying to fake Seungmin out and get the better of him. Sometimes it works, but each time Seungmin just resolves to try harder. It's cute that he's a perfectionist, not allowing himself to move on and asking to practice more and more every time he perceives his faults. Despite all this, Seungmin is still an excellent goalie. Jeongin has seen first hand players who are perfectionists that allow themselves to become self-fulfilling prophecies…. They think they are bad and therefore they become bad, succumbing to their dark inner thoughts. Seungmin isn't like that at all.
They take a water break after what feels like forever and Seungmin seems to be lost in his thoughts.
"Can I help you with anything?" Seungmin asks, slightly out of breath and his hair slicked back over his forehead from sweat. It's sweet that he wants to return the favor but Jeongin isn't sure Seungmin can help the same way that he can for his goalkeeping.
"You want to practice being my defense?" Jeongin asks with a small laugh. He doesn't actually expect him to say yes. But Seungmin looks enthusiastic and eager, even if he's a little unsure of himself. He's fast just like Jeongin is, but as Seungmin takes a running start to try to grab the ball away from Jeongin it catches him off guard. He stumbles as he tries to dodge Seungmin's advances and he nearly gains possession of the ball, kicking it forward just out of Jeongin's reach. Maneuvering his body just-so, Jeongin sprints until the ball is his again.
Seungmin is good, better than Jeongin thought he'd be, and his heart thumps hard against his ribcage from adrenaline at how easy he's able to keep up. It almost makes him feel like he's off his game a little bit, because he's never, never met a goalie that could go head to head with him like this. He does his best to fake Seungmin out, making it appear that he'll strike left but running to the right instead. Seungmin, however, has a quick read on him.
Jeongin makes a split-decision to try to shoot for the goal; though he's further than he's typically comfortable with, he has a good leg on him. He might just get lucky.
And maybe he would've, if Seungmin didn't suddenly stumble. Jeongin freezes when Seungmin tries to regain his balance, hesitating if he should help him. All this does is cause the older boy to collide into Jeongin head-on. If Seungmin wasn't going to fall before, he certainly does now. He takes Jeongin down with him.
The air gets knocked out of Jeongin's chest with a small 'oof' when Seungmin falls on top of him, pinning him to the ground. Jeongin never expected to be in such close proximity to the alpha but from this distance he gets a nose full of Seungmin's scent, a powerful aroma of spices—ginger… and cinnamon? It's spicy, earthy, and sweet all at the same time, reminding Jeongin of his favorite autumn beverage and he thinks he could easily drown in it. It takes a moment for the dazed omega to get a hold of himself, a sudden panic flashing through his body at the thought, 'If I can smell Seungmin, does that mean he can smell me too?'
His own sweet vanilla scent has been dampered by his suppressants, a more bland and chemical smell taking it's place. When Jeongin finally looks up (because they've been here for a minute, haven't they?), the sight above him nearly makes him lose his breath again.
Seungmin is the picture of beauty above him, illuminated by the moonlight and flickering spotlights on the field. The alpha stares at him, their faces mere inches part. Like this, Jeongin can admire the way his long floppy hair frames his dark, half-lidded eyes, his plush pink lips…
Fuck. Does Jeongin have a crush? When was the last time he was so infatuated with the way someone looked, or the last time he was so giddy having someone close enough to kiss? Maybe it started with a deep-set feeling of, 'I really want this person to be my friend,' but now Jeongin can't deny the way his throat dries up or the way his chest gets tight at the sight of him. Or even right now, where all Jeongin can think is 'I want to kiss him so bad.' He's quick to mentally scold himself—Seungmin hasn't even hinted he might feel the same way.
When their eyes finally meet after feels like forever, Jeongin startles when Seungmin suddenly drops his face into his neck, his arms giving out as he fully cages the younger boy to the ground. Jeongin feels the way that Seungmin's body shakes with laughter before he hears the sweet sound and it's contagious, causing Jeongin to burst into a matching fit of giggles.
When Seungmin finally rolls off of him, neither make a move to get up. They lay side by side on the field, both staring up into the night sky. Content with silence, they take a moment to just be. And even though Jeongin has only met Seungmin a handful of times, he feels comfortable like this. Seen. Despite every rational bone in his body telling him he's crazy, another part deep in his chest tells him that Seungmin coming into his life could be something great.
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Jeongin and Seungmin exchange numbers and start talking more frequently ever since that night. They practice together too, finding themselves spending late nights on the field more often than not. Jeongin likes him. He likes the way he doesn't need to act a certain way or try to perform just to keep Seungmin's attention. He doesn't feel like he needs to act like an alpha or an omega. With Seungmin, he can be just Jeongin.
He finds out that Seungmin is majoring in business or finance or something equally as boring. He's a perfectionist even down to his grades. He wants to be someone successful who makes a lot of money but never loses their intellect. He tells Jeongin that he enjoys his classes, that he would never do anything that he doesn't want to do and that includes his career.
Seungmin has been playing soccer since he was in middle school, which is not quite as long as Jeongin but nothing to frown at. When he started he was much smaller than he is now so a lot of people were unsure of his ability to play. Seungmin enjoys proving people wrong more than anything else, it seems, and so with vigorous training he became one of the best players on his team. He puts intention in everything he does, something that Jeongin is not sure he can say for 99.9999% of the other students on their campus.
He likes that Seungmin is brutally honest. He doesn't feel like he has to find a hidden meaning in every thing that he says. Conversation comes easy and silence isn't uncomfortable.
Their first game comes up quicker than Jeongin can prepare for. He's nervous, of course, but more-so he wants to impress his team. If Seungmin is nervous too he doesn't say anything about it but he does appear more introspective than usual.
It only feels real when Jeongin puts on his blue and black jersey and the bleachers start to fill up. This is it—his first real college game. Hyunjin even comes with some of his art friends, though Jeongin's not sure if his roommate has ever been to a sporting event in his life. When the noise fills the stands he remembers this is why he's here, that he came here for a reason and he can finally fulfill his purpose. With a deep breath and heart beating wildly in his chest, the game begins.
It's not much of a competition, to be fair. Even though this is their first game and their coach has been drilling into them how horrible they are, the visiting team just isn't on the same level as them. They obliterate them, the game finishing 3-0 with Jeongin making one of those goals. He can tell that Seungmin is pleased at not letting any goals slip but it wasn't much of a challenge for him because of the opposing team.
Jeongin likes how energetic and excited his teammates get when they win. It's contagious, the way Chan and Changbin scream and hug everyone after the game. Even Seungmin seems to be filled with energy, laughing when Changbin shakes his shoulders violently.
The locker room is sort of rampant with alpha pheromones and Jeongin tries to not let them affect him. He had forgotten about this part of things—alphas after a big win and ego boost tend to have a hard time controlling their scents, and surrounded by only other alphas they don't typically try to reel it in. With so many people in here Jeongin doubts anybody will notice his lack of smell or neck slathered in scent blockers. His biggest issue is that, as an omega, his nose is more sensitive to other's pheromones and he can feel a headache coming on fast.
He tries to hurry it up and get out of there but someone slaps a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey, are you coming to the after-party?" Chan asks him with a grin. The team captain is walking around the locker room, still giddy, with no-shirt on. Jeongin can smell his seasalt and petrichor much more clearly like this and he tries not to grimace when it hits him.
"Party?" Jeongin repeats, sort of in a haze. He blinks rapidly and tries to shake it off. He might be able to make it to the party so long as he can go home and shower sooner rather than later. The longer he stays in here the more likely he is to feel sick or worse, scent-drunk.
He's able to brush off the conversation with Chan fairly quickly and is almost ready to go when he notices Seungmin from across the locker room. He catches a sliver of his tummy as he stretches his long arms above his head and Jeongin's mouth goes dry. Is he really standing here ogling him in the locker room? Jeongin's thoughts go rampant, reminding him of the very same alpha accidentally pinning him to the turf, cinnamon and ginger and how bad he wanted his plush lips against his.
Yeah. Yup. Jeongin definitely has a crush on Seungmin if the butterflies in his stomach or the tent in his pants are of any indication. He just hopes his crush won't be his downfall and his idiocrasy won't blow his cover. He's mildly mortified as he books it out of the locker room and hopes nobody notices the flush on his ears.
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Jeongin runs home right after the match, Hyunjin already lounging about in their dorm room. He has their team's blue and black painted on his face and looks happy to congratulate him before he sees the panic spread across his face. Begrudgingly Jeongin explains his dilemma.
"Let me get this straight," Hyunjin says through a bite full of sandwich. "You think you have a crush on this Seungmin guy? Already? Do you think it was love at first sight? That's so romantic." Hyunjin sighs dreamily looking up into the sky and Jeongin swears he could throttle him.
It's not like he wanted to go to Hyunjin about this sort of thing… but his roommate (despite his affinity for dramatics) is his go-to person for advice. He trusts Hyunjin, and though he would rather not talk to anybody at all about crushes and romance, if he were to talk about it, it'd be with Hyunjin.
Right now he's regretting that decision.
"Ayen-ah," Hyunjin coos. "Isn't young love so beautiful?"
"Hyunjin," Jeongin sighs. "I swear it's like your brain only picks up on one thing at a time."
"Hm? Oh, right! So you like the cute goalie from the soccer team. What's the issue?"
Jeongin pinches his brows together. He considers ditching the conversation altogether.
"I like him, but he thinks I'm an alpha!" Jeongin cries out in frustration.
"So… tell him," Hyunjin says as if it's obvious.
"Tell him," Jeongin repeats in disbelief. "Hey, by the way I've been lying to you this whole time. I'm not actually an alpha, I'm an omega, and you can't tell anyone or I'll get kicked off the team! Also I have non-platonic feelings for you! Let's fuck!"
The two stare at one another for a beat and then burst out laughing.
"Yeah, it sounds ridiculous when you put it like that," Hyunjin tells him. "But Jeonginnie, if you're interested in this guy, it's better to tell him sooner rather than later. You should tell him before things start to intensify, if they do… if he really likes you, he'll understand why you feel the need to hide this part of you."
It makes perfect, logical sense… but a small, anxious part of Jeongin wonders if he might be prematurely messing up a good thing. He doesn't even know if Seungmin likes him like that. Sure they text, and they practice together, and Jeongin thinks he might be one of the only guys on the team that Seungmin talks to, but maybe Seungmin doesn't catch feelings as fast as Jeongin does. Maybe Seungmin doesn't swing that way. Maybe Seungmin doesn't even like omegas—
If his thoughts had sounds, this one would be like a record scratching loud enough to make him cringe.
Jeongin feels a spark of panic go through his body. He likes Seungmin… but what if Seungmin doesn't like him back when he realizes he's an omega? What if he's only attracted to alphas? What if he's so mad at Jeongin for lying about his designation that he never talks to him again? Jeongin feels like he's going to be sick the more he ruminates on it.
He ends the conversation with Hyunjin even more confused and undecided than when they started.
He decides not to go to the party that night and blames it on a headache. And he truly has one now, be it because of alpha pheromones or his moral dilemma, he's not sure.
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Seungmin checks up on him the next day. He apparently didn't go to the party either which checks out in Jeongin's opinion, as he can't really imagine Seungmin at a party. Drinking, dancing… No, it doesn't seem to be Seungmin's thing, but Jeongin finds himself endeared by that. Parties are intimidating for Jeongin too so he gets it.
It's just a simple text 'Hey are you okay? I heard you weren't feeling well last night!' but Jeongin's heart squeezes at it nonetheless.
Despite Hyunjin's protests, Jeongin avoids Seungmin just a little. They still text and see one another at practice, but Jeongin feels this heavy sense of guilt and confusion clouding his view and he feels like seeing Seungmin would only make it worse.
Seungmin doesn't push about it, though. He never pushes.
The next time they see each other outside of practice is a coincidence. Jeongin just plans on getting lunch with Hyunjin and one of his friends at a coffee shop. The barista is flirting with him pretty hard and Jeongin tries to be polite and end the interaction when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He almost jumps at the contact but relaxes when he sees it's Seungmin.
Jeongin blinks in surprise when Seungmin starts to pump out pheromones. Seungmin seems surprised too, eyes widening and blinking at the realization. He reels it in fairly quick but the shock remains there. He even adds to Jeongin's order, getting himself an iced Americano and tapping his own card against the machine before Jeongin can process.
"Hi," Jeongin laughs once they've left the line.
"Hey, Jeongin-ah," Seungmin looks sheepish, a red dusting his ears and his hand scratching the back of his head.
"You didn't have to pay, hyung," Jeongin tells him. Really, Jeongin was distracted by the sharp scent of ginger and too dazed to protest, but he would have if we was thinking clearly.
"It's no big deal," Seungmin shrugs him off. "What kind of hyung would I be if I let you pay?"
They wait by the pickup counter in silence. Neither of them mention it, whatever it is—until Jeongin's drink is ready and the barista's number is written on his cup.
"She couldn't take the hint, I guess," Seungmin scoffs. Jeongin snaps his gaze to the alpha, surprised by his comment. "Ah, I just meant you looked uncomfortable! I didn't mean to… I just was trying to help," he finally lands on. Jeongin thinks it's cute, even if he would never say it, and even though he doesn't need an alpha to protect him (not that Seungmin would think he does) it's sweet to see him be possessive over him this once. In whatever context it is, platonic or not, it's nice to feel safe. Jeongin tells him he didn't mind what he did, and they sip on their coffees while Seungmin stares pretend daggers into the number scrawled on the cup-sleeve.
Jeongin tells Seungmin that he's eating with his roommate and friend but that he's more than welcome to say hello, and he does… just that. He walks Jeongin over to their booth, bows his head in politeness and introduces himself, then leaves.
Hyunjin looks at him wide-eyed.
"Don't—"
"Was that him? The goalie? He is cute! He's so into you—"
"Hyunjin—"
"He seems sweet! A little shy, but I know he would treat our Ayen-ah well—"
"Hyunjin." His stern voice finally gets his attention and Jeongin has it in him to blush because he doesn't even know Hyunjin's friend like that yet and he's already airing out his dirty laundry.
They change the subject quickly and succinctly. Hyunjin's friend is Felix, a pretty blonde with freckles and an enchanting voice. Jeongin likes him so far, though he reminds him of Hyunjin with his dramatics, and he slowly eases into conversation.
"Jeongin, Hyunjin tells me you're on the soccer team?" Felix asks.
Jeongin lights up at the chance to tall about it, animatedly talking about how they won the first game of the season and excluding talk of a certain goalie Felix already knows too much about thanks to Hyunjin. He talks about playing since he was a child, about being on the varsity team in high school. And Felix isn't just trying to be polite, he's actually curious.
"What about you, Felix? Do you play any sports?"
"Oh, um, I was on the soccer team last year," Felix tells him. "I would've played this year but… with the new school regulations and all…"
And Jeongin feels his heart sink. Felix is an omega that didn't get to play this year because of the new rule. And Jeongin does get to play, only because he's a year younger and the team didn't already know his designation, making it easier to hide. If he had been a year older, or Felix had been a year younger, the circumstances would've been different.
"I-I'm so sorry to hear that," Jeongin says. He hopes his voice doesn't crack. I understand you more than you know, he wants to say. But he gets to play and Felix doesn't.
"Oh, it's fine," Felix says dejectedly. "There's not much I can do about it, it just sucks." And if Jeongin could do something about it, he would. For Felix and all the other omegas who wanted to play but were told that they couldn't. He's angry at so much right now and wishes he could single-handedly bring down the hierarchical system thrust upon omegas that they didn't ask for. Soccer, sports, it's just a small piece of what omegas are put through.
"Yeah," Jeongin echoes. "It just sucks."
Hyunjin apologizes later that night, though Jeongin isn't really sure what he's apologizing for. He kept Jeongin's secret, despite Felix being his friend too, and even though Jeongin felt guilty after the exchange he gained a new perspective too.
He doesn't bring up the pheromone incident from earlier. He doesn't have to—Hyunjin probably smells it on him anyway—but Jeongin still isn't convinced it actually met anything.
He wears scent blockers, he couldn't emit his own 'fuck off' pheromones, so Seungmin did it for him. He was doing him a favor. The hand on his shoulder and paying for his drink… it was friendly, right? Jeongin can't let himself imagine the other option.
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The season is going really well for them.
His teammates are the best. Really. Even when Jeongin has to keep himself from kicking a soccer ball right at Coach Choi's ugly wrinkled head.
Jeongin wants to get closer to the team. He's a little unsure where to start but he's sure accepting an invitation to the next party wouldn't hurt.
They'd won yet another game (and Jeongin did not get distracted by a certain alluring goalie, thank you very much). The spirits are high tonight and Jeongin doesn't feel as sick from the locker room pheromone hot box this time. Plus he can be normal around Seungmin! Jeongin is great at acting normal. He has nothing to worry about.
Jeongin has been to parties before. He was popular in high school. He does well at socializing, dancing… he feels out of his element here though. Because this….? His shoes stick to the floors, it reeks of pheromones and weed, there are far too many people and every time someone bumps into him they're covered in sweat. He's immediately overstimulated by the music so loud he can't hear himself think, and he really does try to think, is it even worth it for him to stay here? How is he going to get along with his team in an environment like this?
But he doesn't have time to really make a decision about it before someone claps him on the back and hands him a bottle of cheap beer. He finds Chan at some point in the kitchen—is it Chan's place? No, Jeongin can't imagine Chan letting his place get trashed like this—and Chan redirects him to another room where he spots a few of his teammates playing pong. Changbin hollers when he spots Jeongin, trying (and failing) to pull him into a hug. He's not even sure if he's drunk… Jeongin's pretty sure he's just like that.
A spot on the couch opens up and Jeongin sits awkwardly, nursing his bottle of beer with a grimace on his face each time he takes a sip. He joins the conversation and Chan and Changbin do actually make an effort to include him, which he appreciates, but he also comes to the realization that his soccer hyungs are much more sociable than he is. It's only after he's introduced to twenty people who's names he won't remember and when he watches the alphas get pulled into conversation with someone random for the umpteenth time that Jeongin decides to step out for a bit.
It's a lot, trying to fit in and make friends, especially when you're a freshman and feel more reserved than everybody else. He's sure if he just asked his hyungs to lunch or to watch a sporting event they would say yes, and he would have a much better time getting to know them.
The air is starting to get cold this time of year, late nights becoming harsher with bitter wind pricking at his skin. He didn't bring a jacket with him, he's sure if he had he would have melted it off from the heat indoors, but if he were out practicing he would probably have worn a long-sleeve shirt or a hoodie instead. No, instead Jeongin opted for a plain black shirt and a pair of ripped jeans, but accessorized with chains, necklaces, rings… he went for style over practicality, though the cold is more refreshing than it is shocking.
The bass of the music becomes faint now that he's removed himself, and he lets out a sigh of relief until he realizes he's not alone.
It's Seungmin. Of course it's Seungmin.
He's mildly surprised, not really expecting that he would actually show but then again it is in typical Seungmin fashion to sort of wander off from wherever the main action is. Jeongin understands.
The alpha is wearing a pair of long shorts, a flannel t-shirt with a vest over it. Not exactly party attire but more casual than Jeongin has seen him in before. He's attractive, he's so attractive and Jeongin hates that he can't blame his horny thoughts on his omega pheromones seeing as he's been suppressing them for about a month now. Jeongin hates having these mushy vulnerable thoughts, like wanting to kiss Seungmin and hold his hand, wanting to make him blush and squirm and moan—
Until now, Jeongin's never really had these thoughts about anybody. He's had sexual thoughts but he's never considered himself a romantic. Ooey-gooey love talk usually makes him cringe, so why does he feel like static fills his brain and he gets heart eyes whenever he looks at Seungmin?
It takes him a moment to realize he's been staring. And that Seungmin is staring back.
"I didn't take you for a party person," Jeongin says.
"I'm not," Seungmin confirms. "I'm a soccer person, so… I'm guessing I'm here for the same reason you are."
"Chan invited you?" Jeongin guesses. The look on Seungmin's face is all the answer he needs.
"You're looking at your drink like someone poisoned it," Seungmin points out. And he's right, Jeongin takes one look at his barely-sipped on beer and grimaces. It's okay though, because Seungmin's melodic laugh makes him feel more warm than his drink probably would have.
It's unceremonious as he dumps its contents and he lets out a sigh of relief as if his drink was burning a hole in his hand. Seungmin looks up at the night sky and Jeongin does too—it's pretty clear out, freckles of stars peeking their way out into the sky. He barely notices when Seungmin inches closer to him but then he's right there and—
"Do you want to go for a walk?"
Jeongin ignores the fluttering in his chest. Normal. He told himself he could be normal about this.
"Yeah," he says. He's the picture of nonchalance.
So they start walking—to where, Jeongin has no idea but he follows Seungmin's lead. He watches as the alpha kicks a pebble alongside the road and he finds one too. They each giggle and grumble as they get in one another's way, Seungmin's rock pushing Jeongin's rock right off of the sidewalk. Jeongin pouts until Seungmin makes a face and gives him his rock instead. It means nothing but Jeongin's heart swells nonetheless.
Jeongin complains about their coach (as discreetly as possible without hinting it's because of omega problems), and he talks about Hyunjin, his classes, and his family back home in Busan. Seungmin listens—he's a good listener, humming to show he's listening at all the right spots and asking questions about his home life.
Eventually they reach a nearby gas station, though before Jeongin can question why Seungmin brought him here the alpha is headed inside, giving him a look that has him following without question. He discreetly picks up Seungmin's pebble—the one he had been kicking along the path—and puts it right in the pocket of his jeans.
Seungmin buys him a slushee and they grab a bunch of gas station snacks. Jeongin tries not think about the fact that Seungmin is paying for him again but the alpha swipes his card like it's his job to treat Jeongin and gives him a (non)threatening glare when he tries to speak up. They sit on the curb outside with their drinks and Seungmin laughs when Jeongin gets a brain freeze.
"You know you're not like other alphas I've met," Seungmin says casually. Jeongin's whole body goes stiff because surely his cover his blown. Seungmin knows what he really is and he's going to tell the team and his coach and never talk to him again— "So many alphas are just so self-absorbed. They think they're better than everyone else. Or they act like showing any sort of emotion ruins their fragile masculinity or makes them seem omegan, which isn't a problem but they act like it is. But I like the way you care about things. You're not afraid to let other people know about what is important to you."
And… oh. That might just be the nicest thing anybody has ever said to Jeongin. It makes him feel even more guilty about the fact that he's been lying about his subgender this entire time.
"O-oh," Jeongin replies rather intelligently. He gulps. "You're not like other alphas either. You care a lot about being the best but not in the way that other knotheads are, you know? Like, you care about self-improvement. And you're not bothered by what other people think about you. If I were you I would have punched Coach Choi three times over by now." They both laugh at that, falling into comfortable silence.
"I was raised by betas," Seungmin tells him eventually. "Everyone thought I was going to be either a beta or omega. It was a surprise when I presented. But I'll always value the way my parents raised me to be calm and collected and to always think before I act."
And Jeongin thinks that makes a lot of sense. Seungmin has all of the rationality and poise of a beta, reliable and steadfast to a fault. Past that though, Jeongin sees the resolve of an alpha, the desire to be great at everything he does.
"Sometimes I wish I presented as a beta," Seungmin says after a minute, breaking the silence. "I feel like there are so many expectations put on alphas. Don't you ever feel like it would be easier if you were born as something else?"
Jeongin swallows thickly. Because how is he supposed to answer this without lying to Seungmin's face? He can't really relate to alpha struggles, he's been living as an omega for years. But does he ever wish he was born a different subgender? "I guess I never really thought about it," Jeongin says truthfully. It's vague and not quite as personal as Jeongin wishes he could go but he just isn't sure what he could say without exposing himself.
Yes, I wish sometimes I didn't present as an omega, he thinks. But more-so because people think I'm not emotional enough, not nurturing enough to be considered an omega. Because I get treated like I'm delicate and people frown at me when I prove to them I'm not. Because I don't look like an omega, because I can't even play soccer as an omega. It's the opposite problem from Seungmin, isn't it? Seungmin is too emotional to be an alpha and Jeongin is not emotional enough to be an omega. They both sit somewhere in the middle, just a step away from being comfortable and accepted for who they are.
"You're thinking too loud," Seungmin says, reaching over and poking Jeongin's forehead. His skin burns from Seungmin's touch but it sends a pleasant tingle throughout his body.
"I think sub-gender roles are stupid no matter which designation you are," Jeongin vents. "I wish we could exist without any expectations thrust on us, I hate hearing about what I'm 'supposed' to be doing when it's not what I want."
Seungmin nods. Even though he doesn't respond Jeongin knows he understands exactly what he means.
One day Jeongin will feel comfortable enough to tell him the truth. One day, he won't be kept from playing soccer just because of his subgender and he won't have to hide.
Suddenly Seungmin leans over and puts his head on Jeongin's shoulder—it startles him, his pulse racing and heart beating so fast he could hear it in his ears. Jeongin's never been one to initiate skinship and he sort of thought that Seungmin would be the same way. But it's not unpleasant, the way ginger and cinnamon waft pleasantly around them and (hopefully) seep into the fabric of his clothes. Just being around Seungmin makes him do and think things he never thought he would do.
With a deep inhale Jeongin rests his head against Seungmin's and it's the most at peace he's felt in a long time.
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He doesn't necessarily feel closer to the team after the party so Jeongin makes an effort to reach out to his teammates one on one, starting with Chan.
Hyunjin tells him he should quit feeling guilty about every interaction he has. It's not like he's choosing to lie to everyone's faces, it's just the hand he was given. Anybody else would have done the same thing, Hyunjin argues.
He keeps that in mind when he gets lunch with the senior. Chan is really sweet and encouraging, though Jeongin sort of already knew that.
"Where did you go at the party?" Chan asks. "We were gonna ask you to join the next round of pong but you were gone."
"Oh," Jeongin says. "Yeah, it was just too loud. Drinking with friends is great once you've already gotten to know them but an environment like that makes it hard to bond. I stepped out for some air and went for a walk with Seungmin."
"That makes total sense," Chan groans. "Sorry I didn't check up on you during the party to make sure you were alright. Not very responsible of me as a hyung, huh?"
"No hyung don't worry about that," Jeongin reassures him. "I didn't even really drink anything. Parties are just different in college than high school, you know?"
Chan nods his head like he gets it but Jeongin isn't sure how much the alpha relates. Chan is just so personable and would probably do well in any environment. He'd find some way to get along with someone. Jeongin… he just feels like he has to try so much harder sometimes than the average person. Making friends isn't as easy, talking to them, hanging out…
"How long have you and Seungmin been together?" Chan asks through a bite of his food.
Jeongin chokes on his drink in response, coughing violently to catch some air. "What? We're not… it's not like that."
"Really?" Chan asks, his brows shooting up with genuine surprise. "You guys just always hover toward one another at practice when you can, and you sort of just have this…" He trails off, eventually deciding to brush off his train of thought with the wave of his hand.
"No, what? Hyung what do you mean?" Jeongin doesn't mean to sound so desperate about it and he knows it's not helping his case but he's dying to know what Chan has noticed.
"I mean, you look at him like he hung the moon, and he looks at you like he'll maim anybody else that ever tries to talk to you. He's hard to get a read on, us guys on the team have to try hard to get him involved and he's hesitant but he's a nice guy, you know? With you, though, he seems to wear all of his emotions out on his face. He doesn't do that with anyone else."
Jeongin frowns. He never really thought that Seungmin did that. He sort of assumed that he treats Jeongin just like any other guy… But as he thinks of it, maybe Chan's right. He didn't seem enthused about the party but had a smile on his face when they went on a walk. He opens up to him, buys him food, and gets pouty when someone else hits on Jeongin. Does it really mean more? He's afraid he's being delusional and reading into things.
"It's not like that, Hyung. We're just friends," Jeongin tells him. He doesn't add on that he sometimes wishes they were more, nor the way he's completely blindsided by his own emotions.
Chan looks like he wants to pry—he doesn't. Jeongin is glad.
It means nothing when Seungmin texts him out of nowhere and sends him a funny video that reminded him of Jeongin. It means nothing when he brings his favorite energy drink to practice. It means nothing when he asks about Jeongin's classes, remembers his mean professor or an assignment Jeongin was particularly struggling with. It means nothing because Jeongin has no idea what to do if it did mean something.
He doesn't know how to be a good boyfriend or a good alpha. He's never felt like a good omega either and sometimes he doubts he's a good friend. He has been concealing a major part of his identity for as long as he's known him, after all.
He sees his roommate who just started dating Felix and he doesn't think he can be like that. Grand gestures, flowers, whispers of sweet nothings every night, Jeongin doesn't know how to do that, even if he thinks he might want to. He's worried that if that's something that Seungmin wants, he'll be utterly disappointed. Somehow the thought of Seungmin trying to date him and then realizing that Jeongin isn't good enough hurts worse than the thought of never dating him at all.
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It's the last week of October, right before midterms when Jeongin starts to feel a little off. Hyunjin's alarm clock has been blaring on the other side of the room for at least five minutes and his roommate is still snoring peacefully.
They have another game today and Jeongin has at least another hour or two before he has to get up so he feels irrationally angry at his roommate for disturbing his peace.
"Hyunjin," he groans, getting progressively louder the longer the beta doesn't hear him. When that doesn't work, Jeongin turns over and throws his pillow at Hyunjin as hard as he can. It hits him right in the face and he jolts awake, hand grasped to his chest and panting like a dramatic mother.
"What was that for?" Hyunjin mumbles.
"Your alarm," Jeongin huffs. "Turn it the fuck off please."
"Damn, fine!" Hyunjin says, finally getting out of bed and slamming down the button. "No need to be so rude about it."
"It's been going off for like ten minutes and I'm just trying to get some sleep! Not that you would know what being considerate means." Jeongin rolls over on his side, covering his face with his other less comfortable pillow. And he doesn't really mean what he said—all things considered, Hyunjin is pretty considerate. It's not his fault Jeongin is already feeling particularly grumpy this morning.
"Dude," Hyunjin scoffs, getting close to the omega's bed. "Are you okay?" Jeongin uncovers his face long enough to shoot him a glare. "No really, you look a little off. Do you feel sick?"
"I'm fine," Jeongin sighs. But now that he thinks about it his skin feels a little clammy and his stomach felt sort of uneasy last night. He's sure it's just the nerves of his relentless mental spiraling about his crush—or maybe he just got the flu.
"You smell a little stronger than you have," Hyunjin says, sticking his nose into Jeongin's wrist. He resists the urge to smack him with it. "Could you be going into preheat?"
Jeongin gives up on going back to sleep, throwing off his comforter and crossing his arms. "What, just because I'm a little more emotional and I'm snippy with you means I'm going into preheat? Thanks Hyunjin."
"That's not what I mean," the beta whines.
"I'm on heat suppressants anyway, remember?" Jeongin reminds him. Maybe he's only so defensive about it because he knows there's no way for him to be having his heat right now. His emotions can't be explained away by hormones so he's allowed to be irritated even if it's not typical.
"Jeonginnie," Hyunjin says flatly. "You're surrounded by a dozen sweaty, hormonal alphas every day pumping out their pheromones. This is your first time ever on heat suppressants. Did it ever occur to you that your body might still need some time to figure it out? You could still be experiencing symptoms of preheat if your cycle lines up."
Jeongin furrows his brow and is about to tell him off but the beta gets a phone call and suddenly Hyunjin is on another planet. Whenever Felix calls him he's impossible to talk to.
Jeongin takes a big whiff of his own clothes but doesn't notice any difference whatsoever. He still applies extra scent blocker just to be cautious, but Hyunjin is a beta. His sense of smell probably isn't as strong and he's never gotten a heat before so he probably doesn't know what he's really talking about.
He gets ready for his day while Hyunjin is in la-la-land. He's not even sure his roommate notices that he left but Jeongin goes to the library so he can actually study for his midterms. He's worried about some of his psychology classes—he just hasn't had the time to study all of the terminology for his exams and it's a lot of memorization. An upperclassman that's in his sports psychology class, Minho, offered to help him study though. He's talked to him a few times before and he seems nice; he gives him advice sometimes and seems to know the good spots on campus to go eat, though sometimes he can be a little quirky and intimidating. Still, he won't turn down help where he can, especially about academics.
"Jeongin-ahhh," he hears as Minho approaches him, kicking his chair. He has handfuls of books and studying materials with him and Jeongin already wants to rip his eyes out.
They spend a few hours there before Minho has to go to class and Jeongin offers to walk him so he can get lunch before practice. It's a nice day outside even though Jeongin is a little hot in his t-shirt and jeans and the long walk across campus makes him sweat. Minho asks him some random would-you-rather questions that make Jeongin snort from the ridiculousness of them but Minho suddenly stills right outside of his building, a somber expression taking over his face.
"Jeongin," he says cautiously. "Do you know that alpha?"
And his blood runs cold for a moment because it's such a scary question, but when he turns to look he lets out a breath of relief. Hovering about ten feet away from them is Seungmin who looks down at his feet and kicks the dirt when Jeongin turns around to look at him.
"Oh," Jeongin laughs. "That's just Seungmin."
Minho gives him a side-eye. "Does 'just Seungmin' have a reason as to why he's been following us for the past ten minutes?"
Jeongin flushes though he doesn't know why. How did he not notice him? Did Seungmin just want to say hello but he felt too awkward?
"I don't know, he probably was just waiting for me so we could walk to practice together or something. We're friends," Jeongin explains.
Minho scoffs in disbelief. "I'm not sure about that. Because when I do this," he says as he throws his arm around Jeongin's shoulder. He doesn't even have time to explain what he's doing because Seungmin comes running over.
"Jeongin," he pants, looking out of breath. He's surprised when all of a sudden he can smell his spicy ginger and cinnamon—how did he not notice it sooner? Is he actually getting sick? "Hey. What are you up to?"
Minho gives him a look as if to say 'see?'
"Hi Seungmin," Jeongin says. He notices how Seungmin pointedly takes a step closer to him. "This is Minho-hyung, we have class together and he's helping me study for my psychology midterms."
Is it just him or does Seungmin visibly slump over in relief at his statement?
"Right," Minho says sort of half-heartedly. He still has one brow quirked as if uneasy. "Well I'm going to get headed to my class now. Good luck with your midterms, Jeongin-ah." And then, just to cause drama Jeongin assumes, he reaches out his hand to ruffle his hair.
When Seungmin grabs him and pulls him close and lets out a small growl Minho only cackles. He sends a wave, wiggling his fingers at the two before he disappears into the building for his class.
Jeongin chuckles awkwardly when he notices Seungmin still holding onto him tight.
"Seung…?"
The alpha seems to snap out of his trance, jumping away from Jeongin as if he's been burned.
"I, uh…" Jeongin notices how his whole face turns red and he can't seem to look at him. Why does he think that's so cute? "I'm sorry. My alpha has been feeling really unsettled lately and I can't figure out why. I've never… I didn't mean to…"
"It's okay," Jeongin tells him. He doesn't mention that he thinks it's nice, that he's never had someone else be so protective over him before. He's never seen Seungmin this at a loss for words. If anything he always knows exactly what he's going to say before he says it so this is completely unusual. "Really, I don't mind. I think it's cu—cool, it's cool that you would do that for me."
Seungmin just looks relieved. "Could I ask you for a favor?"
"Of course," Jeongin says. "Anything."
"It's just… Do you think you could take the hoodie I'm wearing? You don't have to say yes, but I think it would make my alpha feel better."
Jeongin's heart squeezes so tight he thinks it'll burst. "You want me to?" Fuck these stupid butterflies.
"Uh, yeah. Just… do you mind?"
"Sure, I'll take it." Secretly Jeongin's inner wolf preens at the thought of taking his hoodie, of being covered in the alpha's scent but he doesn't say that. He doesn't think of the implications, he doesn't think about wanting to bury his face into the hoodie as soon as he gets it, burying his face into Seungmin's neck, scenting his alpha, biting, claiming—
Woah.
Um. Jeongin blinks and forgets about whatever that was and watches as Seungmin pulls off his hoodie, rubbing it against his neck quickly for good measure. He tries not to look too eager when he grabs the hoodie off of him and stuffs it in his bag for later.
"I actually am late for class," Seungmin says sheepishly. "But thank you! And I'll see you at practice." And Seungmin jogs in the opposite direction, his hair bouncing with each step.
He was late for class? Weird. He must have been really concerned about Jeongin that he forgot.
Which reminds him, he forgot he was going to get lunch by himself before practice. He got so distracted by everything that it slipped his mind.
Jeongin takes his time eating, sat at a secluded corner in the dining hall. He switches between studying notes and scrolling on his phone until he sees a text from Hyunjin.
Hyunjin: Way to walk out on our conversation earlier. I was worried about you!!
Jeongin grimaces, disliking the message and otherwise not replying to it. He's sure they'll just talk about it later.
Feeling more prepared for his exam and with plenty of time before practice Jeongin makes his way over to the soccer field, getting changed in the locker room and warming up before Coach Choi gets there. Changbin is there too and the two of them pass back and forth to one another for a bit until Jeongin has to sit down. He feels a little queasy.
Maybe he is catching something. He lays down on the grass with his arm over his head until practice starts, hoping he'll start to feel better soon.
His luck turns south very fast. Coach arrives, then some of the other alphas on his team, then Seungmin. As soon as he starts running again he feels sweaty—not in his usually way but with full body chills.
When Seungmin runs up to him on the field and his scent hits him, Jeongin comes to the shocking realization that Hyunjin might have been right. For the second time that day Jeongin wants nothing more than to bite and claim and be claimed. Only this time it's accompanied by horrid, shooting cramps.
Oh fuck.
Thankfully Jeongin still can't smell himself but he knows there's no way he can practice today like this. All he wants to do is curl up in bed and ride out his heat in peace, not practice the same drill for hours until he feels like he's going to collapse.
"Don't," he says to Seungmin as he comes even closer, concern etched on his face. He can explain later. He needs to get out of here now before he does something he regrets or blows his cover.
He runs up to Chan and quickly explains the situation. He panics when his hyung tells him to explain it to the coach but Chan even walks with him.
Coach Choi grumbles angrily when Jeongin approaches him, like Jeongin is one big inconvenience to him. Well, he doesn't really give a shit if he is or not right now.
"I-I'm going to need the next few days off for heat leave," Jeongin tells him.
"Heat leave?" His coach laughs. "Don't make me laugh, boy."
Jeongin almost gasps when he realizes what he said. "Oh, um, I meant my rut, obviously. My high school just used the term 'heat leave' as an umbrella term for heats and ruts."
His coach gives him a nasty glare as if he can't fathom the thought. "Just take a suppressant and suck it up like the rest of us."
Ah, what an archaic way of thinking. Just because Jeongin is an 'alpha' he is expected to tough it out and pretend like these things don't matter even when his body is yelling out in pain. Thank god his coach doesn't know that right now he's experiencing the worst cramps of his life on top of everything else. He'd like to see some of these alphas experience cramps and then 'tough it out.'
"With all due respect, sir," Jeongin grits out. "You have no business telling me what to do with my body and you don't know my medical history. My ruts are really bad. I will be taking my university-sanctioned heat leave for my rut and this is my common courtesy to tell you that I'll be missing practice the next few days, not asking your permission."
With that Jeongin walks away and leaves his coach fumbling for words. He doesn't care what he has to say—he just needs to be home. Now.
Me: U were right
Me: I'm going into… I'm having my cycle.
Me: Can you stay at Felix's the next few days?
He's glad he makes it to home with time to spare before things start to get really bad. He's already getting a little foggy. This wasn't supposed to happen. The whole point of taking suppressants is that they suppress your heat! What good are they if he can't even rely on them to damper his omega pheromones?
Hyunjin is already vacated by the time he gets to his dorm room and Jeongin couldn't be more relieved. He has just enough time to peel off his sweaty clothes before he feels himself slicking up. It couldn't be a more inconvenient time with midterms a few days away but thankfully he'll be able to make them up.
His omega feels seriously unsettled as he gets into bed and belatedly he realizes why. Seungmin's smell. He wants it so bad. His clothes from earlier have a hint of ginger on them from when the alpha was clinging to him so Jeongin uses them for his nest. It's a few minutes later when he remembers that Seungmin gave him his hoodie. His scented hoodie.
Tension leaves his body the minute he pulls the hoodie out of his bag and puts it into his nest. Ginger, cinnamon, and sweet vanilla. It's a perfect combination of sweet and spicy that makes his omega preen.
Through his brain fog he wonders if Seungmin's alpha sensed he was going into heat and that's why he was so protective over him. There's no way he could've actually known though, right? But sometimes instinct calls louder than logic, so Seungmin giving Jeongin his hoodie, covering him in his scent, that could be his alpha staking his claim.
Jeongin closes his eyes and hopes for once that's really the case. His omega is even louder when it agrees. Despite the heat in his body and thrumming under his skin, exhaustion tugs at his veins and pulls him under. His face is buried in a concoction of ginger and cinnamon and vanilla and cream that makes his heart a little lighter as sleep takes him away.
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His heat isn't as debilitating as they usually are. Really he thinks that his suppressants dulled them down significantly (even if he wished that they would have eliminated them altogether).
It lasts two days as opposed to his usual four or five. Parts of it are intense in ways he's not used to… like the way he can't stop thinking about a certain alpha when he gets off, how he imagines his skin pressed against his, imagines pinning him to the bed, taking what's his. His imagination is quite… vivid.
In waves of clarity he feels embarrassed but it's biology. As hard as he tries to fight it his omega calls out for one person and one person only. And even though he could deny it until the day he dies, it's arguably one of the best (and worst) heats he's ever had. When he fucks his fist and thinks of his alpha he cums harder than he ever has before. Through each wave of pleasure he sees brown floppy hair and wide, plush lips, brows contorted in pleasure. He only wishes he had the real thing.
On day 2 he checks his phone for the first time and sees a string of text messages:
Seungmin: Are you alright?
Seungmin: You looked off. Did I do something?
Seungmin: Missed you at practice today :(
Seungmin: You feeling alright?
He feels guilt rip through his chest as he types a reply.
Me: Hey Seung
Me: Sorry to worry you. I'm in rut! I'll be back at practice in no time.
Unfortunately he doesn't get a chance to read his replies before his next wave hits him but he hopes he's able to put the alpha's mind at ease.
It's only an hour or so later when Jeongin hears a knock at the door and he panics. Nobody is supposed to bother him and he certainly doesn't want anybody to smell him.
"Um… hello?" He calls out rather panicked from behind the safety of his door.
"I'm just leaving," he hears a voice call. Seungmin. "Open the door once I'm gone. I'm just dropping you off some stuff. Feel better!"
He blames it on his omega hormones when he feels tears dampen his face. Jeongin isn't sure anybody's ever been this nice to him before during his heat (or rut, he supposes, since that's what he's calling it). But Seungmin made an effort for him and even though Jeongin is at war with himself over this most days, he wishes that Seungmin has non-platonic feelings for him too. He hopes this goes beyond just being 'a caring hyung,' or a good friend. Jeongin wants the little voice in his head to shut up and he wants nothing, nothing more than to allow himself to feel worthy of being loved.
When he opens the door he grabs the bag that Seungmin has left for him. He doesn't even question how the alpha knew where his dorm room was. It's even more endearing to think that he found a way, that he would stop at no lengths to provide for Jeongin.
His alpha has left him a warm thermos of soup. Plenty of drinks with electrolytes. His favorite energy drinks. Protein bars.
Another scented hoodie. A handwritten note, 'Take care Ayen-ah. Fighting!'
His heat is almost over anyway, just a few more waves and he'll probably be fine by morning. But even with the throes of his heat and the inconvenience of his body, he feels like it all would have disappeared the second he saw what Seungmin had done for him.
It's a little weird, presumptuous even that the alpha would leave him a scented hoodie. Other alphas aren't usually as scent-focused during their ruts; it's more of an omega thing, an instinctual want of scented items as a comfort to help them get through. Of course Jeongin wants it, will take comfort in having his scent nearby. Once again he thinks that sometimes instincts don't lie, that Seungmin's alpha probably knows more than he lets on. He won't read too deep into it and he hopes Seungmin won't either. "You're not like other alphas," he had said to him once. He hopes Seungmin will chalk it up to another one of Jeongin's unusual 'not like other alphas' traits— of finding comfort in his scent—and that he doesn't come to the real conclusion before Jeongin is ready to tell him.
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Jeongin emerges from the throes of his heat with much more clarity and a sound mind.
He apologizes to Hyunjin, first of all, but his roommate didn't seem to take it seriously. Then Jeongin has to figure out how to wash Seungmin's clothes.
Not that he doesn't know how to wash clothes. It's just… they might smell a little extra like vanilla. His omega is mad that Jeongin thinks of returning them in the first place but he can't just keep them.
And he needs to figure out how to repay Seungmin for what he did. Every time he thinks about it, the food, the note, the hoodie, he wants to purr. Of course he's not going to tell Seungmin that but he would like to show his gratitude somehow. He just has no idea how to do that.
Jeongin's midterms end up going really well. His professors were thankfully understanding of his cycle (though one gave him a comment about wanting a little more notice and Jeongin had to tell him there was literally no way he could have known). His studying pays off and he does fairly well on all of them, even the one that Minho had helped him cram for.
Seungmin acts like nothing has really changed. Like he didn't growl at another alpha just for touching him, like he didn't ask to cover Jeongin in his scent. Jeongin's not surprised— if there's anyone who wants to try and act cool and collected, it's Seungmin. But he hovers at practice just a little bit more, asks Jeongin to meet him at the soccer field late at night. They don't always say much but they walk side by side on the way back to the dorms and it feels domestic.
Jeongin wants and wants and wants. He's never experienced such longing and sometimes it feels like it could tear him in two. Is it selfish for him to want? If things go south, would it be all his fault?
Some days he gets so in his own head Hyunjin wants to throttle him and threatens to smack some sense into him. "Just confess already," his roommate tells him. But how can he when he's not sure he deserves to have his feelings reciprocated? When he still doubts his every move and feels like the rug will be swept out from under him at any moment? At any second he could be found out and everything he's worked so hard to get this semester—his spot on the team, his friendships, Seungmin—could be taken from him with no notice? Isn't easier to keep it at a distance instead of letting himself indulge? He doesn't know. All he knows is that the feelings in his chest grow stronger and stronger every day until they threaten to burst.
Their team keeps on doing good despite the stress of the season. November air causes their practices to become a little more frigid and Jeongin finds himself bundling up more. He isn't able to catch Seungmin's smell as often (which is mildly disappointing) because he also chooses thick clothes that cover his scent glands.
Seungmin never asks about Jeongin's smell—or lack of it. He can tell that the alpha notices it, his face dropping when Jeongin returns his hoodies completely absent of his scent. Jeongin's omega scolds him for disappointing the alpha and he tries not to roll his eyes. His omega is more distressed than happy most days now. It's probably because he's at constant war with himself.
His first semester of college is going pretty good, all things considered. He's finally closer to his teammates, he's doing well in his classes, and the soccer team wins every game they have so far.
With their championship game coming up he can tell nerves are high. Coach Choi is meaner than ever, berating each team member and providing no leniency about their classes. Jeongin arguably thinks that classes should be considered more important seeing as they need to remain in good academic standing to continue playing but he doesn't say anything. He's come to realize that nobody says much of anything—Coach Choi threatens to kick people off the team for much less than talking back.
Jeongin's world comes crashing down on a random Tuesday.
Just as he's leaving one of his psychology lectures he gets a text in the soccer group chat that makes him feel instantly nauseous.
Coach Choi: Game day this Saturday! Big Championship. All alphas must report to the field two hours early for mandatory physicals and pheromone checks.
He dials Hyunjin's number with trembling fingers and wonders if he's going to have his first ever panic attack in the middle of the sidewalk outside his lecture hall.
"Ayen?" Hyunjin's voice whispers through his speaker. He hears rustling—Hyunjin must have been in class. A door squeaks open and closed on the other end. "I don't think you've ever called me before. What's up?"
"Hyung," Jeongin chokes out. "I don't know what to do."
They meet back in their dorm room after Hyunjin (much to Jeongin's protest) leaves his class. Jeongin has to reapply scent blockers on his walk home because he's so distressed he can actually smell himself for the first time in months. This is not good. This is so not good.
"Pheromone checks," Hyunjin says after Jeongin shows him the message. "Fuck. That's not good."
"Hyung," Jeongin cries out. "You're not supposed to say that."
"Shit, sorry," Hyunjin bounces on his feet, looking around the room as if to find something that could comfort the panicking Jeongin in front of him.
"Why would they even… I don't understand," Jeongin says. "Why? Can I not go? Coach said mandatory. Is this it? What if they expel me because they found out I lied? What if nobody ever talks to me again and I have to transfer schools? What if—"
Hyunjin stops Jeongin's rambling with the wave of his hand. "Listen," he says after a beat. "I have an idea but you might not like it."
"What?"
"I think you should talk to Felix about this. Listen, he was on the team last year, remember? He can probably explain everything to you and he'll understand."
"Hyung, Felix is probably going to hate me when he finds out I'm actually an omega! I lied and was on the team the entire semester when he couldn't be."
"Ayen-ah," Hyunjin sighs. "Listen to me—Felix would never hate you. Not about that. I'm sure if Felix were a freshman too and they didn't already know he was an omega he would have done the same thing as you. He'll probably be glad you were able to get this opportunity." And logically Jeongin knows that he's right. Felix is the epitome of sunshine himself and he really can't imagine him getting mad over this.
And even though he swore to himself he would keep this as his mostly protected secret, his world as he knows it seems to be crashing down. He agrees to tell Felix, though he's not sure what good it will do, he at least wants the comfort and reassurance that the omega will be able to provide him.
"Pheromone checks are to make sure that an alpha isn't in rut during games," Felix explains once he arrives. He sits on Hyunjin's bed kicking his feet, the beta hovering barely six inches away. "Some people think that alphas in rut might be more violent or play better—they become stronger, faster, and more feral. Some people used synthetic pheromones to trigger an early rut as a way to boost their performance so now they test for it before these big games to make sure nobody's cheating."
"Oh," Jeongin says flatly. "I guess that makes sense."
"Why are you so worried about it? You'll be fine, if an alpha appears to be in rut they usually just give them suppressants and they can still play."
"I'm worried because," Jeongin swallows thickly. "I'm not an alpha. I'm an omega. And when they test my pheromones they're going to realize the truth and kick me off the team."
"You're—oh. Oh Jeonginnie." And just like Hyunjin predicted, Felix doesn't judge him or seem put off by the fact that he lied. He can tell the omega feels sympathetic, if anything. And though Felix really doesn't have any good advice to give him (besides telling him he's kind of screwed), he has someone else to stand in solidarity with him.
Jeongin spends the next two days feeling physically sick with anxiety. He misses a few classes, barely eats, and doesn't respond to any of his text messages.
Even Seungmin's texts. Jeongin can't bring himself to respond and every time he thinks about talking to him he feels sick to his stomach.
Hyunjin tells him to take it one step at a time. Belatedly he realizes what that means. Everything doesn't have to crash down all at once. There is something completely in his control right now that he can deal with, even if he dreads it.
Jeongin does what he always does when he's feeling like this—he goes to the field. Except this time he expects it when Seungmin is there too.
Because the one brave thing he did was ask Seungmin to meet him there under the guise of practicing for tomorrow's game. Jeongin's going to do it. He's going to tell him the truth.
At first they just play in silence even though Jeongin knows Seungmin can tell that something is wrong. At one point when Jeongin goes to kick the ball he completely misses, nearly falling from the force of kicking into the air. He shouts in frustration and kicks the ball so hard that it flies right past Seungmin who sidesteps to let it go into the goal. If he had remained in place the ball would have likely collided with his face.
"Jeongin—" Seungmin starts, running up to him.
"Sorry," he mumbles, trying to pass Seungmin to get to the ball. "It won't happen again, I'm sorry." As he brushes past him, Seungmin grabs Jeongin's elbow, stopping him in place. He can only stare at the ground.
"Jeongin," Seungmin says again. He won't let go, not until Jeongin looks at him. "What's the matter? Are you nervous for tomorrow?"
Yes, Jeongin thinks, but not for the reason you're assuming.
"I like you," Jeongin says instead. It comes tumbling out of his mouth along with each one of the butterflies he's been storing in his chest for the past few months. It's not what he meant to say. He wasn't even going to tell Seungmin about his feelings—he was just going to tell him about his subgender. But the words came out and now he can't take them back and he's probably screwed this all up more than he already has—
Seungmin kisses him.
It's so sudden that it nearly knocks Jeongin off his feet and he gasps into Seungmin's mouth but a steady hand keeps him in place. Kissing Seungmin is like everything Jeongin imagined it to be. His lips are soft, his grasp is firm and his scent sweetens into the kiss. And this is it. This is what Jeongin has been wanting for months so he takes and he takes and Seungmin lets him, lets their teeth clack together and lets Jeongin hold on so tight he might not ever be able to let go.
But then he chokes on a sob. It's embarrassing. Jeongin hasn't cried in years as much as he has this semester but the way Seungmin looks at him so tenderly makes him feel like he's actually splitting in two. His chest is a cavern that has been hollowed out, something ugly crawling out and ripping Jeongin apart from the inside out.
"Jeongin," Seungmin says. He sounds panicked. When has he ever sounded this panicked? "Jeongin, what's the matter? Did I do something?"
No, Jeongin wants to say, no you've never done anything wrong. You've only ever done anything right and now we're here and it's all crashing down and it's wrong, I've done everything wrong.
The moment Seungmin asks him doesn't shock him as much as Jeongin thought it would.
"You're an omega, aren't you?" It's not an accusation, it's not spoken with disdain, it's overall very Seungmin.
With already watery eyes and his face buried in Seungmin's neck, he nods.
"I'm sorry," Jeongin whispers. Seungmin cards a comforting hand through his hair.
"I'm not upset with you," he reaffirms. "I know exactly why you did it." And even though Hyunjin had told him before that this exact thing would happen, hearing the words from Seungmin's mouth makes a sense of relief spread throughout his body.
"I had my suspicions," Seungmin continues. "My alpha has never reacted so strongly to someone before. I felt so… possessive over you. And I realized I could never smell you, even in the locker rooms when every alpha pumped out their pheromones I was never able to scent you. When you left for your rut… your heat, I thought I smelled you. You were so sweet. I didn't know for sure."
Jeongin pulls away and looks at him. The lights from the field and his tears make Seungmin look a little blurry but still painstakingly beautiful.
"I understand… if finding this out is a deal breaker. It's okay if you don't like me back anymore." Jeongin hiccups despite himself.
Seungmin looks appalled by the accusation. "Why on earth would you think that Jeongin-ah?" His grip tightens on Jeongin's shoulders and he urges him to make eye contact. When he looks at Seungmin Jeongin knows he will want to kiss him again so he can't bring himself to do it. He's afraid of what he'll see.
"I like spending time with you. I don't care if you're alpha, omega, beta, whatever you may be I still like you. Your gender, your subgender, none of that has ever mattered to me. And I'm sorry that you felt like you had to hide yourself from me, from the team. It's not fair that the coach excluded anybody not an omega—I thought that from the beginning. I want you to know that tomorrow, whatever happens, I'll have your back."
Jeongin comes to the realization that while Seungmin is intuitive and inferred the truth on his own, he still wishes he had been coherent enough to tell him himself. That's why tomorrow, no matter what happens, Jeongin decides he should be the one to tell his team. He'd rather they hear it from him, not some nurse or doctor. Even if he risks losing his spot on the team right before the final game of the season.
He's not alone. Hyunjin and Felix will support him. He's almost positive Chan and Changbin won't care about his subgender. Neither will Minho.
The person that matters the most to him right now though, the person who promises to have his back… It's Seungmin.
Seungmin will support him. Seungmin still likes him.
Jeongin can't help it when he surges forward and connects their lips together again, so sudden that it knocks Seungmin flat on his back with Jeongin toppling over him. It reminds him of the time when he and Seungmin were in a very similar position but reversed but now Jeongin gets to kiss him. And now when their lips connect Jeongin doesn't feel a sense of dread or guilt, but knowing that Seungmin feels the same way about him…
"God, Jeongin," Seungmin gasps from underneath him. Out of breath, hair tousled, cheeks dusted a rosy pink, he looks straight out of one of Jeongin's wet dreams. And they're in public, right in the middle of the soccer field where anybody could see them but Jeongin chooses to actively ignore that as he presses his lips to Seungmin's again.
"Hyung," Jeongin pants, "I like you so much, hyung…" And Seungmin's hands grab Jeongin's waist, purposefully a little too tight and Jeongin hopes it'll leave a mark, hopes his alpha will leave a mark…
Woah.
They're not going all the way here tonight. He knows this logically but he can feel Seungmin start to get hard underneath him and Jeongin's been aching since their first kiss. So he tentatively rolls his hips, sparks shooting all over his body but especially between his legs where his cock grinds against Seungmin. The airy, high-pitched whine that comes from Seungmin's mouth makes Jeongin feel like he's going crazy. Nothing else matters right now. Everything else can be dealt with later. Here and now, Seungmin, it's all Jeongin could ever ask for.
He's so pretty and pliant under Jeongin. It really should be no surprise that when Jeongin takes Seungmin's wrists in one hand and pins them to the ground that the alpha whines underneath him. His face burns red and he pushes back against Jeongin's hands—as if to test his strength—surprised when he doesn't budge an inch.
"My poor alpha," Jeongin coos. "Pinned so easily by an omega?"
"You're not just any omega," Seungmin breathes heavily. He wiggles and writhes under Jeongin's grip but has a delirious smile spread wide across his face. Fuck. Jeongin really will have a lot of fun playing with him.
"That's right," he purrs, leaning close to whisper in Seungmin's ear. "I'm your omega."
They lay in the grass, lazily making out for what could be hours if Jeongin would care enough to check the time. He only comes back to earth when Seungmin's hand brushes his neck but before Jeongin realizes what's going on Seungmin has already wiped away his scent blockers. The best that he can, anyway, with the amount that Jeongin slathers himself with.
Seungmin sits up with Jeongin in his lap, burying his face into the younger's neck.
"Hyung," he whines, squirming with embarrassment.
"You smell sweeter than I remember," Seungmin grins. He's so easily flustered until he's the one that can do the flustering. It seems Jeongin's blush spurs him on. "Wonder if you're sweet all over?"
And if Jeongin's scent wasn't heady with arousal before it certainly is now. With a squeak, Jeongin pulls away and scrambles away. "Evil," he complains. "You're an evil, evil hyung."
Seungmin just seems happy to have gotten a reaction out of the younger. "Would you still think I'm evil if I asked you out on a date?"
And well, Jeongin can't argue with that.
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Jeongin feels nervous the next morning even though he's told himself he's come to peace with everything.
He's last in line to get his physical and pheromones checked because of course he is. He couldn't have just gotten it over with.
He still wears his blue and black jersey and warms up while waiting. If there's anything he's learned how to do the past few months it's fake normalcy.
Coach Choi is particularly grumpy today too. It doesn't help boost spirits or anything. He gives attitude to everyone—the team, the nurses, even the opposing coach. Jeongin hopes at the end of all this his coach will get the karma he deserves.
Seungmin squeezes his hand reassuringly before Jeongin is set to be examined. When he looks at the alpha he nods his head. You got this, he seems to be telling him.
The nurse sterilizes the tip of Jeongin's finger before poking it with a needle, getting a few drops of his blood to input into the fancy machine. It takes a few minutes to process and in the meantime they check his heart, his blood pressure, his height… And when she looks back at the machine she frowns.
Jeongin isn't as upset as he thought he would be. He's ready, he thinks, so before the nurse can even call anyone over to look at his results Jeongin decides now is as good as ever.
Rolling his shoulders back, he jumps up onto a bench and whistles as loudly as he can.
"Everybody, I have something I need to say," he announces loudly.
The team starts to trickle over, forming a small crowd. Even the coach makes his way over and gives Jeongin a dirty look but he ignores it. If anyone needs to hear what he's about to say it's Coach Choi.
"Alright. So, I started playing soccer as a kid. My parents put me into it and I didn't like it at first. Like all kids, it was just something I was forced to do. I don't know when I became good at soccer, but all of a sudden I was getting recognition from it all around. It hit me all at once, years later, that I actually did really like it. It wasn't something I was being forced to do anymore. I had friends I made through soccer, I loved playing games, and I loved being part of a team. Going to a high school as small as I did, I was sort of sheltered, though. I didn't know how badly omegas were treated in sports, not until I presented. Even then, my own team in high school never treated me unfairly. They even protected me against rival schools who targeted me because of my designation.
That's to say… I'm an omega. I'm not an alpha and I never have been. I came to this school because I had a dream of playing soccer, and this is one of the best schools. My first week here I found out that there was a new rule. No omegas allowed to play soccer? After all the hard work I had put in to get in here?"
Jeongin looks at the expressions of his teammates, some in awe, some in disbelief. Despite his bravery he can't bring himself to look their coach in the eye. He's afraid of the disgust he might see but even more so the confirmation that this it for him.
"I came here to say thank you for letting me be apart of this team. I feel that I've gotten close with some of you guys this season and I'll never forget that. Of course, I wouldn't be myself if I didn't throw this in: Omegas are just as capable of playing as alphas are. When everybody thought I was an alpha, I got praised for my skill. I scored points. None of that will change just because you now know I'm an omega.
Coach, I am not more sensitive because I'm an omega. I am not weaker. The team saw me as an equal before—if you see me as less than now, then that's not on me. Don't let an idea of how an omega is supposed to be in your head stop you from letting amazing players be put on the team. Designations shouldn't matter at all. If a player is good, they should be allowed to play on whatever team they want. Do you know how absurd it is that we have an omegan soccer team on campus and they don't even play matches? Some of those players are good—one of them was even on your team last year and you're still okay with dismissing him.
I don't need to prove myself to you any longer, but I know you'll see that the team won't be the same without me. I still hope that you win champions, but I want you to take a moment and reflect. The harm you're putting on the team by not allowing omegas is your fault. I shouldn't have to pretend to be someone I'm not to fit in or prove my worth. Thank you."
"This is… this is unacceptable," Coach Choi says. His face gets red the more he sputters in disbelief. "You just expect us to be out a player the day of championships? Do you know how much you've let down this team?"
"Jeongin has never been a let down to our team," Chan says, crossing his arms and staring down Coach Choi. "He is one of our best players. You've said so yourself."
"Well this just won't do," Coach grumbles. The stale scent of cigarette smoke overwhelms everybody—even the nurse covers her nose as his pheromones swirl around. "One of our substitute players will have to step in instead. Jeongin, just know if our team suffers a loss it will be your fault."
"Or you could just let him play," Changbin laughs in disbelief. "Nothing has changed between ten minutes ago and right now when you didn't know his subgender."
Before he can sputter up some other nonsense excuse, Seungmin pushes his way through the crowd.
"Actually I have something I'd like to say too. I personally think that Coach Choi has created a hostile environment on this team that even I, an alpha, have found myself uncomfortable on multiple occasions. Jeongin is one of the best players I've ever had the honor of playing with and to kick him off the team would be a disservice to us all. If Jeongin won't be allowed to play today because of his subgender, I won't be participating either and you'll have to find yourself another goalie."
"I agree with Seungmin," Chan says, shaking his head in disappointment. "Either Jeongin plays or none of us play."
Coach Choi looks utterly taken aback. Finally he speaks, attitude seeping through into his tone. "Fine. If you want to play with an omega on your team so be it, but don't expect to actually win. In fact, if you win today I'll let the omega stay on the team next year."
Cheers erupt, hands patting his back and shoulders in congratulations. But it's not enough. Jeongin feels his heart squeeze thinking about being the only exception. How could he be the only exception when he knows the team would thrive with other exceptional omegas? Jeongin never thought he could be the change but he can, starting right here and now.
"All omegas," he says, voice laced with finality. He finally stares at his coach, really stares at him. "If we win today, you'll let all omegas and betas on the team. Equal opportunity of all regardless of their sub gender. And I want it in writing."
"His resignation would be nice too," Seungmin whispers from beside Jeongin. He can't help the smile that slips out.
"Fine," the coach laughs, snatching a notepad from one of the nurses and scribbling something down. "I'd say good luck but not even luck can help you. An omega on the field is going to get trampled—this sport just isn't for someone so weak."
Seungmin growls next to him and rolls his eyes. "Your hypocrisy baffles me," he spits out. "When we win today, you also owe Jeongin an apology." And Jeongin has never been so happy to have someone on his side.
As the team warms up Jeongin feels a weight lift off his chest for the first time since the school year started. He feels lighter. Happier.
He has to fight the urge to kiss Seungmin silly in front of his entire team. Seungmin smiles at him like he knows.
The stands fill up more than any other game they've had. It makes Jeongin nervous but a sense of calm washes over him that only ever happens when he's on the field.
There's a lot riding on his shoulders right now. Tonight. But Jeongin has this feeling for once that everything is going to be alright.
Maybe it's just adrenaline but Jeongin plays better than he ever has before. The other team is no joke, of course, definitely giving them a run for their money. Most of them are taller than Jeongin, leaner. But the other team's goalie isn't as good as Seungmin.
Seungmin has never looked so intent on blocking each goal, brows furrowed in concentration, bouncing up and down on his feet in anxiety. It warms Jeongin's heart. And while a few shots go through Seungmin and into the goal, he blocks more shots than the doesn't. It doesn't matter that much really, because their team is on fire. And the other goalie fumbles every time Jeongin gets close, anxiously trying (and failing) to predict where his shots will go.
With just two minutes left the score is 3-3. The other team had caught up to them in the last few minutes, scoring a goal and putting them at the same score. But the other team has possession of the ball, a man with a mean looking face and sour scent glaring at Jeongin as he barrels over. Jeongin takes a deep breath, allowing himself just one second to collect himself. He hears his name—when he looks over to the stands Hyunjin and Felix are there jumping up and down and screaming louder than anybody else. It's enough.
When Jeongin sidesteps the player his foot brushes the ball and knocks it slightly outside of the guy's control. He almost doesn't notice at first and nearly trips over his feet but in the second he falters Jeongin has the ball. What he has always lacked in strength (up until recently) he more than makes up in speed, flying outside of the player's reach. Their defense flies in front of Jeongin and tries to get control of the ball but instead of pushing forward he passes the ball to Chan.
Of course Chan gets the ball easily, running across the field until a wall of players try to stop him. Jeongin's faster, though. He's sure he's never run so fast in his entire life the way he makes it to the other side of the field. Someone runs after him but they just don't stand a chance with his headstart and speed.
When Chan passes the ball back to him he gains control again as easy as breathing. He sees his shot and he takes it, leg swinging back to strike the ball with all of his force. It cuts through the air like a bullet and the goalie tries with all his might but he doesn't jump in time, the ball barely grazing his fingertip and whooshing right past him into the corner of the net.
The buzzer goes off. The game is done.
It's over.
They've won.
He can't hear over the whooshing in his ears and the sound of his blood pumping throughout his body. Something thrums beneath his veins that Jeongin is unfamiliar with and it just gets stronger the moment he's surrounded by people, being brought into a hug by his teammates.
As the ringing in his ears fades he can hear again and it's all screaming, the most intense concoction of hooting and hollering he's ever heard. He barely registers when a trophy is thrust into his hands and he can see himself in the reflection—it's Jeongin that looks back, not some alpha he was pretending to be.
He thinks he might cry again. How did he pull this off? Does he really get it all, the guy, his friends, the win?
It doesn't feel real. It doesn't feel real until he's dragging Seungmin into the locker room and pushing him against the lockers with a clang. It doesn't feel real until he has his lips against his again and his scent blockers are rubbed off, vanilla and ginger and cinnamon left in its place. Until Seungmin is clinging to him and baring his neck and Jeongin has to fight the urge to bite down, instead sucking purple and blue marks against his throat.
He would do it. He would rip off all his clothes and fuck Seungmin in the locker room right now, if not for the door opening and the rest of the team finally walking in.
The pheromones don't make him sick. There's only one person he can smell right now anyway.
One person who seems very disgruntled by the fact they were interrupted and insists on dragging Jeongin out of the locker room so they can pick up on where they left off.
On their way out they notice their coach. He's holding the trophy and smiling like he had something to do with it. His smile drops when he makes eye contact with Jeongin so Jeongin grins instead. "Don't forget our promise," he mouths at Coach Choi. He belatedly realizes that Seungmin is flipping him off and Jeongin giggles, grabbing the offending hand instead and lacing their fingers together. They walk like that all the way back to Seungmin's dorm room.
Jeongin still feels like he's on a high. He can't wait to tell Felix, can't wait to have him on the team next year.
They take turns showering, Seungmin first and Jeongin second. He uses Seungmin's soap and his omega purrs when he realizes he smells like him. He doesn't put on any scent blockers—he hopes Seungmin will scent him. Today and every day following.
Jeongin joins Seungmin where he lays sideways on the bed, now wearing the alpha's clothes and covered in his scent. He'd never been in Seungmin's room before but now he never wants to leave. It's so organized, clean, and so very Seungmin.
Jeongin leans forward and presses his lips against Seungmin's tentatively. They're soft, inviting, reminding Jeongin of all the wanting he has been doing for months. When he kisses Seungmin it's tender though, all of the want and desire but none of the urgency.
"Thank you," Jeongin tells him between kisses. "I couldn't have done it without you."
"Of course you could've." Peck. "You're the strongest person I know." Peck.
"I wouldn't have wanted to do it without you. And you risked a lot standing up for me."
"I'd do it again in a second."
Seungmin looks so pretty with half-lidded eyes and spit-slick lips. He's only inches away from Jeongin and he's his to touch, his to hold. "You're mine, right? We're together?"
"Well duh," Seungmin says. "I haven't been normal about you since the day we met."
Jeongin crawling into Seungmin's lap feels as natural as breathing. Their bodies react like they already know one another, touches in sync and skin burning against skin. Jeongin shivers as Seungmin traces his lips around his neck, paying attention to each spot that makes him whine or twitch. He should've known Seungmin would be attentive, if for no reason other than to tease.
When Jeongin rolls his hips against Seungmin's and he hears the way he moans, airy and pitchy and like he's already about to cum, that's when Jeongin loses the last ounce of his control.
He's shameless as he shucks his shirt off and kisses Seungmin again, teeth clacking and hands scrambling to take purchase. Seungmin grabs at his biceps and squeezes and Jeongin rolls his hips and it feels so good, even just the way their cocks press together through layers of fabric. It's when Seungmin has no more breath left to kiss him and he just gasps into Jeongin with an open mouth, letting the omega take over that Jeongin knows he needs to have him right here.
"Hyung," he calls out, closing his eyes to center himself when he hears the way Seungmin squeaks each time their bodies connect. "Hyung, I want you."
It's cute the way that Seungmin's whole body goes red and he tries to hide his face. "Are you sure? I, hah, I want you too if you're sure."
"I'm sure," Jeongin says as hooks his thumbs into Seungmin's waistband—his breath hitches. "I'm so sure. I've wanted you… I've never wanted anything the way that I want you."
"Go ahead then," Seungmin sighs. Even now he tries to act indifferent but he can't help the way his body reacts to Jeongin's every touch. He pulls down his sweatpants and boxers in one move, Seungmin's cock flopping uselessly against his stomach.
"Fuck," Jeongin curses, wrapping one hand firmly around its base. His cock is red and angry but big, thick and pulsing where his fingers curl around. Seungmin just stares blankly, mouth open and eyes fixated on Jeongin's hand. "What a pretty cock, hyung."
And fuck, that seems to get a positive reaction out of him because Seungmin whimpers and thrusts his hips up weakly into Jeongin's hand.
Jeongin's sure if he wasn't leaking slick before he certainly is now.
He strokes Seungmin tentatively, achingly slow and mean but firm.
He has to stop after only a minute so he can take off his own pants, freeing his own achingly hard cock.
"It's not fair," Jeongin pouts, straddling Seungmin and pinning him to the bed underneath his weight. "It's not fair that I've wanted you for so long and you made me wait. What a mean Hyung."
He shakes his head and whines; "I wanted you too, Jeongin-ah, my Jeonginnie. Not mean… 'M not mean, just didn't know if you liked me back."
He squeezes his cock harder in response and Seungmin cries out. "How could I not like you back, hmm? When you're so pretty and nice to me and you've always stood up for me and protected me. Isn't that right alpha?"
When he nods his head with big round eyes he really does look like a puppy. "Please… Wanted this for so long, don't tease…"
"Don't you think you should make it up to your omega for what you put me through? I don't know… but maybe I'll just hold you down while I get myself off. You can sit there and be pretty while I make myself feel good, can't you?" Jeongin punctuates it by pressing him down harder by the hips and lets go of Seungmin's aching cock in favor of grabbing his own. Seungmin positively wails.
"Please, Jeongin, Innie, no please I want you so bad," he whimpers. "Please let me make you feel good, I promise I can."
And maybe Jeongin was being a little mean. Maybe it's the adrenaline or maybe it's his way of teasing the alpha who apparently loves being at Jeongin's mercy. All he knows is that Seungmin looks so good squirming and begging underneath him and he is a weak, weak, man.
"Can I…?" Jeongin asks, overcome with lust. The teasing is nice and sexy and all but it's their first time together so he doesn't want to cross any boundaries.
"Yes," Seungmin nods. "Please, yes. Thank you, thank you."
Jeongin sinks down onto Seungmin's cock and they each let out matching sighs of relief. It's silent for a second while Jeongin gets used to his size and Seungmin furrows his brows together, face contorted with pleasure. He's beautiful. He's always been so beautiful.
Jeongin thanks both omegan anatomy and how much Seungmin managed to turn him on for the amount of slick he's already leaking, making the slide much easier. And Seungmin fills him up so well, his hands holding onto Jeongin's hips like a vice grip and his head thrown back. Jeongin gets a nice view of all the marks he left on his throat earlier, the purples and blues blooming violently across the alpha's otherwise perfect skin.
It's right. It's so right and Jeongin thinks he could spend forever like this. He'll never get tired of the smell of vanilla, ginger, and cinnamon, the way that Seungmin cries out his name or the way he touches him like he's something to be revered.
He rides him in earnest now with trembling legs and the wet sounds of skin on skin obscene from where their bodies touch. Jeongin's never liked skinship but he loves this, loves the heat and electricity at every area Seungmin touches him. He loves the way their bodies move together like a song—and Seungmin knows him, Seungmin has known him even from that very first day—so it should be no surprise he can give Jeongin exactly what he needs.
Jeongin's close, a whine caught in his throat when his body can't keep up with the unrealistic pace he set. But Seungmin knows him, so he plants his feet onto the bed and meets Jeongin halfway. He almost forgot how strong Seungmin is but the alpha reminds him when he's easily able to bounce him on his cock.
"Fuck, fuck," Jeongin cries out. The edge is so close he can almost taste it. Seungmin nails his prostate head on with every thrust and it almost hurts how close he is but then Seungmin kisses him, hands cupping his face so tenderly but tongue swirling filth inside his mouth. That's all it takes.
Jeongin explodes. He cums so hard he literally sees stars and Seungmin is right there behind him, spilling his release into him with a drawn-out groan. They ride out their highs together with half-hearted thrusts until it all fades and then all that's left is them. Jeongin and Seungmin.
It hits him then that he loves Seungmin. He truly, unconditionally loves Seungmin. And it's scary how big it feels, how consuming and overwhelming it is. He always felt so scared about being perfect. The perfect omega. The perfect boyfriend.
But as Seungmin cards a hand through his sweaty hair and pushes it out of his face silently checking that Jeongin is okay, he doesn't worry about being perfect.
Even if he's not perfect, he knows he can get through it. He has the best boyfriend, roommate, and team of friends who will always have his back.