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Breathless

Summary:

An endlessly looping office in a building that shouldn’t exist. A voice telling a story about a man named Stanley - never deviating, never changing, coughing painfully in a way that proves it’s no recording. Something isn’t quite right here: Stanley is missing memories, with no idea how he arrived or how to leave.
There’s only one thing he can do - confront the Narrator, by any means necessary. But that’s only the beginning. What starts as a search for freedom becomes something far more complicated when Stanley discovers he isn’t the only one trapped.

Notes:

I started writing this 16th February 2024, on and off for all this time (with month-long breaks inbetween).
Funnily enough, I'm rewriting the earliest chapters aka everything that's about a year old now haha
I put a lot of time and work and love into this story, so I hope you all will enjoy it as well.

Tags will be updated with each chapter posted. Only the "main" tags are already there.
Chapter summaries will be provided!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Hanahaki Disease

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Hanahaki Disease (Japanese: 花吐き病, Hepburn: Hanahaki-byō; lit. flower-vomiting disease) commonly known as "Hanahaki", is a chronic disease caused by repressing and denying emotions. Symptoms range from mild to severe fever, coughing, sore throat, fatigue, and shortness of breath. These symptoms begin three to seven days after the first emotions are repressed or denied and last until the disease is cured. Other complications include acute respiratory distress syndrome, and worsening of pre-existing health problems such as asthma and cardiovascular disease.

The term hanahaki comes from the Japanese words hana (花), which means "flower", and hakimasu (吐きます), which means "to throw up". The disease was first discovered by Naoko Matsuda (松田奈緒子) in 2009. A patient displaying symptoms of an insistent and painful cough showed plant-like membranes growing inside the patient's lungs. As the disease persisted, the patient began coughing out petals of commonly found flowers, and eventually throwing up fully blooming flower-blossoms.

Signs and symptoms


The time between the first repression or denial of emotion and development of the symptoms (the incubation period) is three to seven days, depending heavily on the intensity of the repressed or denied emotion. The onset of symptoms is slow and gradual, the initial symptoms including shortness of breath, dizziness, and coughing. The symptoms will increase in severity over the length of the disease, though they may ease up and intensify again depending on the patient's emotional state.

If the patient is repressing and/or denying very strong or multiple emotions, their symptoms will rapidly worsen. They may be able to ease up again if the patient admits to some of their feelings, or if their feelings ease up in their intensity. Once a patient suffers from the disease for multiple months, they are at a very high risk of coughing out blood, as their lungs will be completely covered in "roots". However, no matter how bad the disease becomes, it will not lead to a patient's death.

Flower Occurence and Meaning


The petals and blossoms produced by patients are generally not random but correspond to the nature of the repressed emotion: the flower type and color tend to mirror what the patient is feeling. Clinicians and collectors of case reports have noted that these floral patterns closely match traditional floral symbolism — most notably the meanings catalogued in Kate Greenaway’s Language of Flowers.

The quantity of flowers expelled is also believed to correlate with the intensity of the repressed or denied emotions. Repressed or denied emotions that are less severe in their intensity will commonly make the patient cough out nothing more than petals, while deeper-set emotions, or emotions the patient is trying harder to repress or deny, will result in single or multiple fully grown blossoms. If these are not properly coughed out when they occur, they can significantly hinder the patient’s breathing.

Treatment


There are currently two known treatments available for patients suffering from hanahaki. The most commonly used treatment is entirely dependent on the patient, as they will be cured of their acute symptoms once they admit to their feelings. For especially deep-set emotions, the patient may need several days of persisting symptoms until their lungs are cleared of the blossoms. For some emotions regarding other people, such as love or jealousy, may require the patient to admit their feelings not only towards themself, but also towards the person their emotions are toward. However, it plays no role how the unaffected person reacts to the patient's confession.

The second possible treatment is the surgical removal of the blossoms as well as the "roots" from their lungs. This may dampen their ability to feel the emotion/s that caused the disease, though will not affect the person otherwise.

Aftereffects


After a patient has admitted to their emotions, their acute symptoms will come to a stop. If the patient suffered from the disease for less than a month, the "roots" in their lungs will completely wither and be expelled with any left-over petals or flowers still in their lungs. If the length of the disease exceeds a month, the likelihood of the "roots" being left in the patient's lungs heightens. This will not be noticeable for the patient, though it may have effects on any pre-existing health problems such as asthma and cardiovascular disease.
Patients with residual "roots" in their lungs are at a much higher risk of developing hanahaki again, as the "roots" will produce flowers once more if the patient represses or denies their emotions, with the symptoms setting in much faster. However, if a patient has gotten the "roots" surgically removed, they are at a far smaller risk of developing hanahaki once more, though it isn't impossible.

Hanahaki
Hanahaki Disease

Artwork by @feefal on IG

Symptoms:




Usual onset:


Duration:

Causes:

Coughing, fatigue, dizziness, fever, sore throat

3-7 days after first repression

Undetermined

Repressing and denying emotions

Notes:

Long A/N ahead haha

So this work I've been working on for nearly two years now. It is not yet finished, though I didn't want to post it before it's finished, I'm hoping that it won't be a problem.
Updates will be either once or twice a week, which means this will run for a LONG time (there's 50+ chapters). You'll find a poll about how often you'd like updates down below aka in the end A/N of the work! :)

This first chapter is to explain my version of Hanahaki. I don't want to do the mainstream "if you don't love me I'll die" thing and wanted a bit more of a "permanent" but also non-lethal kind of disease. And something that isn't this forcing another person for something - "I'll die if you don't love me" is a bit of a toxic/abusive thing outside of the mainstream hanahaki disease after all, isn't it?

Since it might have gotten lost in the article above, I want to point out the following book again: Kate Greenaway’s Language of Flowers.
I'll be using the flower meanings from there exclusively. If a flower cannot be found in there, then the meaning is otherwise commonly agreed upon by the people on the internet (I think I only did that once tbh).
(I'll be so nice to give flower meanings of the chapter-titles at the end of every chapter!)

I will do my best to update the tags with each chapter that will be posted, as to not mislead anyone about the contents. The character and ship tag are there because they will happen eventually of course and are kind of essential to choose to read this at all, but other than that I want to try and only add relevant tags with new chapters.
They may change over time aka tags may get deleted if they're very "niche" (for example the TSP endings as individual tags) due to the 75 tag limitation, so I want to focus on the most essential tags by the end of it.
(And you try to tag a work with 50+ chapters 😭😭)
ON THAT NOTE please tell me if you think I missed a tag or need a tag essentially!! Thank you! 💜

I will also try to put "important to know" things at the start of a chapter or add chapter summaries, so you can prepare yourself for them! Be aware that they will be spoilers of course, but they're meant to protect you about things that may make you uncomfortable or squick you or trigger you.

The first actual chapter will be posted tomorrow, since this is just information!
And then it will be adherring to regular posting times/days 💜