Chapter Text
Regulus Black was dead.
He had drowned in his eighteenth birthday, like he'd always been told he would.
Water had filled his lungs as thousands of hands made sure he could never reach the surface.
The cave he was in stopped the sunrays from reaching his cold dead body.
The inferius’ claws had scratched, cut through his skin as he had been dragged down.
It hadn’t been pretty, it hadn’t been fast and it had been painful.
Regulus knew all this for he had planned every second of it.
But then he opened his eyes.
The first thing that hit him was the smell of wood, the second was the smell of blood.
And then the pain came.
Regulus curled down on the floor, watching as his wounds closed and healed, leaving only soft almost translucent scars in his skin.
When the pain stopped he was able to recognise where he was; he was back at his house.
Yet, his room didn’t look messy, if anything it looked pristine, a far cry from how he’d left it before walking into that sídhe-cursed cave.
There were no newspaper cuts from all of Voldemort's victims, there were no traces of pain relieving potions.
And his hair, it was freshly cut.
Just like his mother used to do when he started to look like Sirius, when it became too hard for her to look at him without seeing Sirius’ shadow.
It didn’t matter much to him in all honestly, he liked short hair, it was easy to take care of and functional when you needed to brew potions.
He had never before thought of growing it out.
“Fuck” Regulus muttered as he tried to get up from the blood soaked floor.
He felt bile raise to his throat as soon as he managed to silently walk into the bathroom.
Out of instinct he cast a silencing charm.
When he finally managed to clean himself and look properly in the mirror he almost took a step back.
This was how he looked in sixth year, the same freshly cut hair, the hidden piercing on his tongue and the aching pain of a recent tattoo on the nape of his neck.
It was Yule, and Regulus was soon to take the dark mark.
If he remembered correctly he would still have a few days before it happened.
Such a cruel thing, to send him to the turning point of his life in his last moments, but he guessed it was fine.
If this was how he ought to be punished for the pain he had caused Regulus would accept it.
He was a Black, they took pain with grace.
With a long tired sigh Regulus grabbed his clothes and cast a quick scourgify before walking back and doing the same on the bloody floor.
Now in silence in his own room he was able to finally take in all he did. Betray Voldemort, not that he ever believed in the man's cause but regardless, found out his weakness and chose to die so someone else could take him down.
Horcrux, the man had made a horcrux.
To go to such lengths just to stay alive, to let yourself lose your humanity like that.
One horcrux, one horcrux.
“Myrddin” Regulus whispered to himself “He didn’t just make one did he?”
It hit him like a hippogriff how he had ignored something so obvious. Of course that killing maniac hadn’t just made one.
If he wasn’t dead he would have probably gone drown himself again.
Naive, he had been so naive.
He wasn’t given much more time to lament as he heard a knock on the door, he knew for a fact it wasn’t his parents, they never knocked.
“Yes Kreacher?” He asks and he can’t help but let some fondness slip into his voice, at least, even in the afterlife he has a good memory of it all.
“Masters have asked for Heir Black’s presence at this dinner” Kreacher said from the other side of the door, Regulus almost wanted to open it just to see his old friend's face.
“Any other instructions?” He asks, easily slipping into his Heir Black persona, his old mask felt like putting on an old skin.
“No Master Regulus”
Regulus nods even if Kreacher can’t see him, quickly changing his clothes and reading himself.
“You’re excused Kreacher, thank you”
When he walks down the stairs to the dining hall his mother is already waiting for him.
He hadn’t seen her look so composed in a while, and he knew it wouldn’t last long.
The marks left on her after Sirius left were already showing and soon after their fathers death it would only get worse.
“Greetings mother, father” He says politely, as he has been taught.
Walburga soon directs her gaze towards him, watching over him like a hawk while his father simply keeps reading the prophet.
It didn’t surprise him much, Orion never paid attention to either him or Sirius unless it was to choose a punishment.
“Good” Was all his mother said before allowing Regulus to sit.
Regulus ate in silence and waited for what his mother wanted to communicate to him, he remembered this conversation, he knew what she was going to say.
He also knew that his own opinion didn’t matter right now.
“The Dark Lord will visit soon” His mother finally said “You know what to do”
And he knew, he knew exactly what to do to join the ranks, he remembers the fear, the disgust and the pain.
By the end of Yule he would be marked, at sixteen his fate would be sealed.
And two years later he would be dead.
He left the dining hall feeling nauseous and with a reminder of why Sirius had left the house to begin with.
Reliving his life was an interesting experience, he knew his fate, he had seen and lived through it.
Walking to his imminent death with every step.
Could he even change something? Anything?
The horcruxes.
Maybe he could deal with them in advance just in case something stuck.
But how many? And how?
Out of habit he searched for the necklace Pandora had gifted him on his sixteenth birthday, he never wore it at home but outside he never forgot to put it on.
He had been wearing it when he died, he wanted to keep wearing it now that he was dead.
Opening the bag where he kept his friend's gift hidden he soon realised the necklace was missing.
Instead of the odd shaped rune now there was just sand where the necklace should be.
“Hah, you’ve got to be kidding me” Of course, Regulus let out a dry laugh “Curse you Dora, you knew from the start, didn’t you?”
So, he might not be dead, Regulus hated the possibility more than anything now.
But he was not one to refuse to believe something when there was proof in front of him. Pandora had probably given him a modified time turner.
“You did always want to save me Dora”
The words left a sour taste on his mouth, what some minutes ago seemed easy to handle now sent shivers down Regulus’ spine.
He was back, he had been given another chance.
And yet he had returned to the worst moment possible, just after breaking up with James, the Winter he made his choice.
The winter he had, oh.
He had forgotten, one of the reasons why this Yule had been especially bad.
Unable not to, Regulus poked his flat stomach, he had forgotten about that little detail.
Pregnant, he had gotten pregnant and that same winter he had decided to end the pregnancy.
It had been the smartest choice back then, he did not regret it, he was sixteen and not fit to raise a child.
Did he want the child now?
His child, the taste of the word felt foreign on his tongue, during the war he had only thought about having kids twice.
When Pandora told him she was getting married and when he was ordered to kill a muggle child.
He had looked at the kids' green childish eyes and tried to cast a cruciatus.
And then when Bellatrix hadn’t been looking he had apparated the kid somewhere, begged him to hide as the kid just stared at him in silence before crying in his arms.
The kid's eyes still haunted him to this day, the blood on the kid's face felt stuck on his nails more than once.
He hadn’t really thought of having a child too seriously ever, he should just terminate it like before.
He should join the death eaters and find information from the inside.
Just once more he stared at his stomach and poked.
This was the last piece of James he had, as morbid as it sounded.
A name, he should at least name his child even if it was not even a living being yet, right?
What had James said he wanted to call his first kid? Harry, right?
“Until I find a safe way to remove you from my body you’re Harry Altair Black” A boy name, Regulus realised, he had done it almost out of instinct.
He had heard that the parent carrying the child could sometimes tell, but that should only be possible after three months at least.
Was the kid a boy? Or felt like a boy?
All this was giving him a headache.
He had to brew the potion to end the pregnancy soon, this had to end before he got too attached.
Brewing a potion without his parents knowing what he was doing while at the same time researching horcruxes turned out to be harder than he remembered.
In the meantime he had figured that there was not a fixed limit on how many horcruxes one could make, which was terrible news as making one only took murder, which Voldemort did more often than not.
Fortunately there were theories on how many times one could split their souls before they simply stopped functioning like a normal human being.
So, Voldemort probably hadn’t gone over sixteen.
On the other hand he had failed at brewing the potion correctly and had to start again soon, which was not ideal.
It was taking him longer than it had the first time and the only thing different was him.
And that the child now had a name.
Oh.
He had named the child, and his magic had picked up on his mood.
Voldemort would arrive in four days, he had four days to make a choice.
Deep down he knew the choice had been made the moment he had given his child a name.
“Come on Regulus, don’t grow weak now” He muttered and tried again, maybe just this once he would succeed.
When the potion exploded on his face he could only groan in frustration, he ignored how his magic had protected his stomach immediately.
He tried again nonetheless.
At the fifth attempt Regulus accepted the truth.
He had grown attached, and he was now thinking of raising a child at eighteen.
At least it was better than sixteen.
He gave up on trying to make the potion and instead switched to how to hide his traces.
If he was going to raise a child there was no way in Myrddin he was going to do it while fighting a war.
So he was doing the same thing he had been too afraid to do the first time, he was running away, and unlike Sirius he was planning.
He already had a separate account by this time, money would not be a problem but just in case he could grab some extra before leaving.
Knowledge about magic and how to hide traces, his time as a death eater had taught him more than enough but reading some more wouldn’t hurt.
A place to run to, France? No, too obvious.
Pandora, he remembered she had once mentioned where she lived, the Rosier’s main family branch's manor.
No one really knew the exact location, but Pandora had told him, he had almost forgotten.
A temporary solution while he looked for a house, yes, he could do that.
While he could he wrote down all the information he could find about horcruxes on his notebook and took his favourite clothes, the ones he never wore in front of his parents.
Before going he watched the family tree tapestry, his brother's name scorched, destroyed for everyone to see.
He saw his own name and cast an illusion spell, he didn't think it would work but there was hope.
Dead, 1978 would be the year the tapestry would show as his last one.
If he was lucky his mother wouldn't look too closely at it and it would buy him some time.
Finally he returned to his room, shrinking everything and casting a weightless charm on it, he shifted into his animagus form, grabbed everything with his mouth and jumped.
He would have liked to say he didn’t look back but he would have been lying.
There was one thing Regulus had forgotten in his very careful planning, no, it wasn’t a book on how to raise a child, his family library didn’t have those.
And if it did then everyone must have forgotten to read them.
No, the problem was that he didn’t really know how to get to Pandora's and Evan’s house.
He could apparate even if he didn’t have a licence, sure, yet if the ministry caught word of where he was there was no way his parents wouldn’t find him, everyone knew how many contacts the Blacks had inside the ministry.
Any sign of unregistered magic the day he left would be investigated to drag him back.
Regulus once more reminded himself that this was a terrible idea.
A really terrible stupid idea he had made after a really traumatic event which consisted of dying.
And now here he was, dressed in the muggle clothes Barty had gotten for him during that muggle phase he had, under the rain in a muggle street.
“Do you need any help?” A voice asked not too far away from him.
A girl that seemed to be in her twenties had stopped and covered him with her umbrella, looking concerned.
“Uh, in what direction is Galloway forest?” Regulus finally asks after a minute of awkward silence, feeling embarrassed at the sudden attention.
At this the girl looks at him as if he had grown another head.
“The one in Scotland?” The incredulity was obvious in her voice.
“...” Regulus looked at his shoes with embarrassment “Yes”
With a long tired sigh the girl pulled out a map from her bag and offered it to him.
“Here, I think you’re gonna need this more than me” Was all she said with a tired sigh before taking in his drenched state “... You can also take the umbrella”
Regulus nods, covering himself and looking at the map with curiosity.
“Thanks…” He says embarrassed, the girl simply sighs loudly again.
“I really hope you're calling a taxi” The girl then waves goodbye while muttering something suspiciously similar to stupid pretty boys.
Regulus watches her go with a lost expression.
What the fuck is a taxi?
In his defense, he's not really knowledgeable about Muggle… anything actually.
Barty took the course to piss off his dad so he knows some music, sure, but other than that he mostly just knows how to use Muggle hair dye.
That was also Barty's fault.
So, he had to call a taxi, which he wasn't really sure what it was.
He stood confused next to the road, watching the rain pour down.
Worst case scenario he returned to his animagus form and found some cat obsessed person to let him stay the night.
Manipulative? Probably, where his morals fucked up anyway? Yeah.
He watched the moving boxes, cars? Barty said something about cars, and tried to see if they had something to do with the knight bus which he knew of thanks to Dorcas.
Maybe a taxi was like a bus?
He really didn't know what to compare it to, he had never seen a bus.
As he was lost on his thoughts a black, car?, stopped in front of him, the driver pulled down the window of the vehicle.
Regulus stared at the man's eyes in confusion.
“Need a ride?” The man asked with amusement clear in his eyes.
Regulus looked at the top of the vehicle and found ‘taxi’ written on it.
That… was faster than he thought.
“Yes” Regulus nodded and he tried to guess how to enter the vehicle. Door, that looked like a door handle, the boxes with wheels had doors “How close to Galloway forest can you get?”
The man looked at him with a weird expression as Regulus made his best attempt at opening the door on the first try.
“Around the entrance I guess, that's a long trip, do you have enough to pay for it?” When Regulus nods and finally manages to enter the taxi the man looks at him as if questioning his mental state.
Regulus tried his best at pretending to be unbothered and pulled out his pouch with Muggle money.
“How much would it be?” He asks even if he knows realistically he probably has enough, he did convert a big quantity of money just in case.
“Around three hundred pounds mate, quite far away from here”
Regulus nods and pulls out the corresponding money, very careful to not get confused.
“Would this do?” He says as he offered the man the money, hoping Barty’s idea of how money worked was right.
Probably since the bastard got twelve owls, sometimes Regulus wondered why the bastard wasn’t a Ravenclaw.
And then Regulus remembered everything Barty did was to piss his father off and then it all made sense.
“Yeah, good enough, buckle up kid” The man picked the money and put it somewhere, Regulus was not paying attention, then pointed at some weird belt?
Regulus pulled and searched around to where to put it.
After getting more weird looks from the driver Regulus finally figured it out.
The taxi, or car, Regulus still didn't understand the difference, was already moving at a fast speed.
It made him a bit nervous, he didn't really understand how these boxes with wheels moved, maybe they were like a small train? The Hogwarts express was powered by magic though.
“So, what brings you to a forest on the other side of the country?”
Regulus turns towards the driver, who has pulled out a cigarette and is lighting it, and hesitates before answering.
“I'm visiting some friends, they live around but they should come pick me up there”
That sounds believable, right? Regulus isn't sure if any muggles live around but the man might not know that?
“This late at night? What, didn't get your parents permission?” The man jokes, taking a deep drag on his cigarette.
When Regulus grimaces the man blinks twice.
“Man, that was a joke, how old are you even?” He looks at him in worry, as if just realising how young Regulus seems.
Taking a deep breath to settle himself, Regulus is glad he technically doesn't even have to lie. At least that much.
“I'm eighteen, turned eighteen yesterday” He ignored how the dates no longer match, his birthday being in summer solstice "Don't worry, my parents are used to these behaviours from my brother, they won't care”
While the man still seems suspicious he relaxes a bit, Regulus feels guilty for some seconds about the second part.
Sure, his parents won't care he's missing, they care about losing face once the Dark Lord visits.
Mother might care though, not as much as she did when Sirius disappeared but something.
Regulus hated his conflicted feelings when it came to his mother, she wasn't nice, she didn't even like them but sometimes she would cup Regulus' face like she did.
He closed his eyes and tried not to think more about his parents, it didn't matter, he would not be seeing them again if he had any say in it.
The man seemed to pick up on his mood and simply pulled out another cigarette.
“Want one?” He offered and Regulus both for curiosity and maybe because he knew it would piss his parents off took it “You looked like you needed it”
Regulus stares at the cigarette and wonders why he feels like he's forgetting something.
Oh, he is pregnant, slowly he pulls out one of his packed potions and drinks it in one gulp.
It tastes terrible honestly but it does the job, he did remember Barty saying cigarettes were bad while pregnant.
“Thanks” he says and he takes the lighter and lights it up, trying to imitate what the man did before.
When the smoke fills his throat, leaving a terrible feeling of dryness he can't help but cough.
Next to him the man laughs, probably expecting this outcome.
“Never had one before I'm guessing?” He then offers him a bottle of water, his smile a bit softer “My son had the same reaction when he tried to light one at eight, poor guy though he also had to take a drag for it to work, he was coughing for a week”
Regulus stares at the man before chugging some water, and tries again.
He did just use a potion for this, he was going to figure out how Sirius even managed to like this.
“I’m Thomas, guess we should know each others names if we're about to do an nine hour trip together”
Regulus nods, glaring at the cigarette as if it would make it more bearable.
Should he give his real name though?
He didn't want to lie to the driver but giving his real name might give his parents a lead.
Even if they would never even think of asking muggles.
“I’m Leo, like the constellation” He settles in, not too far from the truth but wouldn't bring attention if someone asked around.
“Well Leo like the constellation, that's a long name but who am I to judge”
Regulus looks at the man in the eyes and groans, so that was what Dorcas had called dad jokes.
And he was stuck here for nine hours.
Someone kill him.
Would he gain that sense of humour when he became a dad?
He poked his stomach discreetly, he would find out pretty soon, which he didn't know if was good or bad.
He sincerely hoped the humour was not mandatory, he didn't want to make dad jokes.
James on the other hand… No, stop, don't think about it.
This year had been the worst one of his short life, he had broken up with James, been marked as a death eater, Dorcas had left them to join the Gryffindors, already had by this time, Barty insisted he and Evan would join too and Evan tried his best to pretend he was okay with it.
All in all it was a shitty year.
Regulus wondered if it would be different this time.
The trip was not as boring as he expected, Thomas had two kids, a son and a daughter who would fight a lot and a wife who tried to kick him out of the kitchen every time he attempted to cook.
Regulus himself wondered if he should try to learn to cook, he had tried to learn a bit when he was dating James, mostly because the other boy missed his favourite foods from home.
They had spent hours trying to replicate the spicy disses he missed, Regulus couldn’t help but smile fondly at the memory.
When they finally arrived the sun was already back, the sky filled with orange and red tones from the sunrise.
Regulus took a deep breath of fresh hair and let the feeling of raw magic invade him.
“Ya’ sure you’ll be alright from here?” Thomas asked, clearly wondering where his supposed friends were.
“Yes, don’t worry, I know my way around” Regulus said and Thomas, while hesitant, drove off.
Regulus did not know the way around.
In fact, he had never been here before.
He simply made sure there wasn’t anyone close before shifting into his animagus form again and walking deep into the woods.
Fortunately he soon felt the wards around it and prayed with all he had that Pandora had added him.
Taking another step forward the wards seemed to inspect him, it was almost creepy but most of the people in the main Rosier branch were like that.
Creepy, yes, that was the word, they held some kind of outerworldness that no one else had.
Not to mention their seer innate abilities.
When the wards seemed content enough with him several houses appeared in his field of vision.
They were beautiful, almost reminding him of ancient Greek temples, if more homely.
White, made of marble, several of them seemed to have inner gardens with fountains in them.
One of the houses specially shone, it was more simple than the others yet Regulus felt it only made it stand out more. Inside a man was tending to the plants, singing a beautiful tune.
Regulus froze as the man turned around and stared deep into his eyes.
Cassius Rosier, the madman of the Rosier’s main branch, and Pandora's and Evan’s father.
“Regulus, I was wondering if you would appear” Cassius Rosier's deep blue eyes inspected like if he was one of his magical experiments, a sense of uncomfortableness invaded Regulus “My daughter said your fate would be sealed today after all”
Regulus’ hands trembled a bit, a madman, right, Crazy Cassius was the man's nickname. There was a saying after all, there’s not a single sane seer.
“Well meet Lord Rosier” He says, trying to hide the uncomfortable feeling.
The colours on Cassius' eyes seem to twirl, he’s wearing a confused expression before he smiles towards Regulus.
“Well meet Heir Black, may our friendship be blessed by Lady Magic” He then steps a bit too close for comfort, much like how Pandora does sometimes “How interesting”
Cassius Rosier doesn’t bother to look at him more, going back to tend the plants, or caress them more accurately.
Regulus tries to find the words to ask to be allowed to stay until he finds a home but his mouth feels dry.
It's the sound of a soft melody being hummed that pulls him out of his thoughts.
“Reg!” Pandora yells, clearly sounding relieved, Regulus immediately opens his arms to allow her to hug him “You’re here”
As Pandora tightens her grip on him Regulus tries his best to offer her some kind of comfort.
He missed Pandora, after getting the mark he became detached from reality in a way, keeping people away to not hurt them.
Pandora understood, she always did.
“Hi Dora” He says and tries to hide how his eyes become slightly wet “I missed you”
She slowly lets go of him, cupping his head with her hands. As she looks at him she takes a small step back, not letting go of him but the fear clear in her eyes.
“Oh Regulus” Her voice is woeful “What have you done?”