Chapter Text
The sun rose like it always did over the quaint town, where the child fuckers and charity workers lived in restless harmony, where the smokers and geeks huffed the same chemical they pump into the streets. Rin was REALLY in a bad mood, if you couldn't already fucking tell. She never was a morning person, let alone an EARLY morning person, what the FUCK was she doing awake? She tossed and turned in her pillow, groaning faintly.
"God..damn it." She fiddled a little in the almost quaint light darkness of her room, she checked her phone. 5:34 AM. Guess she's gotta wake up, no point in staying in bed for an extra 20 or so minutes and getting comfortable. She rose upwards, stretching her long limbs out and that's when the awful stench of...what was that? Whiskey? Did she drink herself to sleep again? How pathetic. No wonder she had a pounding fucking headache. She lifted herself up and stumbled to the bathroom. The annoyingly bright lights made her wince slightly. Brushing her teeth, combing her mid-length moss green hair, it was all the same cycle. In the shower, she let the almost boiling hot water burn her delicate skin, the liquid seeping into the fresh cuts on her thighs. Good it burned. Kept her awake. Her fault for acting without thinking, letting herself relapse into that same daily cycle of misery.
She emerged downstairs, the kitchen messy and yet clean at the same time, dishes piled high but spices put away accordingly, she skipped breakfast, she wasn't that hungry..and maybe also that if she made something to eat, she would be forced to see the filth in her kitchen she didn't bother; or want. To clean up. She instead went for a run outside, taking her school bag with her. Nothing like pumping your muscles early in the morning huh. She passed her house and reached the Kamakura Beach, a disgustingly nostalgic memory appeared in her mind. Chewing on those cheap popsicles that were made of ice water and flavorings with..FUCK! She doesn't need to remember that bitch right now. God help it if she'll wallows in ANY self-misery today. She stopped at a stop sign...well no shit...and took out a packet of cigarettes, Mevius huh. She got the good brand with her parents pity money. Not that she'd spend it on anything useful like...food. She flicked the lighter to the end of the cigarette, and took a deep drag. The Nicotine and comforting warmth enveloped her insides, think of like a really suffocating yet addictive hug. The smoke poured out from her nose and mouth with practiced ease as she kept jogging down the sandy path. Smoking while jogging? How "badass". She checked the time on her phone, 6:47 AM, damn. She has to get the bus to get to school right on time right about now but eh... She didn't really wanna go. What's skipping a few hours of her first and second class, they were all lukewarm subjects anyway. She took a detour towards the town. "AHAHA Fuck!" A man with a weird beard and a disgustingly crinkled shirt covered in sauce stains yelled after he bumped into Rin. To be fair. She wasn't really paying attention to the road ahead of her, more on smoking her cancer stick. But still, she grunted, and flipped the old geezer off rudely. "Ah little girl, ain't no one teach you some motherfucking manners?!" He drunkily slurred his words. Tch, Rin walked off without a care, she stubbed her cigarette on her palm, wincing a tiny bit. The familiar buzz of the corner store lit up as she entered, keeping her head down. This shop had a ton of young people smoking, fucking, beating people up in the aisle of the children's sweets. She rather not get involved in their half-baked nonsense. She was better than that.-was she? She pulled two popsicles from the freezing cold freezer and paid. It was the same ones she ate all the time as a child, they were quite sweet, and cheap to buy. Perfect for two grubby kids to buy after Football Practice. They had "WIN" and "LOSE" imprinted on the sticks, no kid in this wretched town to young for a little gambling ey? It worked though, since kids would spend all their pocket money on those popsicles to try and get a winning stick. Marketing Genuises. However, she always got the winning stick between her and...whatever. She opened both and licked them at the same time, careful for the flavors to dance on her tongue. It was sweeter than she remembered, or maybe as a kid she didn't really focus on the ice cream, and rather...GOD WHY WAS SHE SO AFRAID OF SAYING HER NAME? , ..but rather on her dear big sister, her sister would hold her hand and they would walk along the edge on the Kamakura Coast, they would talk about anything and everything..when everything was perfect, when her memories were absolutely crystal clear, when she didn't feel like her mind was betraying her, putting her through wretched torment. God didn't she say she wouldn't wallow in any self pity today? She couldn't give a fuck that hot tears were pricking her eyes, making it hard to see the pathway in front of her. She didn't care that Sae had a picture perfect life in Spain, yes, a lovely life that didn't include her, didn't need her, didn't fit her in...SHE WAS FINE. "fine.." she mumbled, wiping her tears slowly.
She sat on the bench near the sea, crossing her legs, ignoring the sting from her thighs as she did so. It was her stupid action, plus, the pain felt like a warm dribble down her heart, swallowing her and her mind whole, yes, she needed a little distraction from the agony that captured her carcass. She didn't mind the melted popsicle that leaked onto her skirt as she licked it carefully or the gentle wind blowing her front hair onto the popsicle, making her pull it away. No, she doesn't care. She doesn't care, She doesn't care she doesn't care she doesn't care she doesn't- Rin sighed, moving her flowing bangs out of her face, focusing on the sea, the waves crashed and retreated endlessly, like a loop. how could she rearrange these painful feelings of hers? Death? maybe. maybe she could slit her throat with a sharp razor blade..nah..she'd rather wallow in her own self misery maybe. Let these pathetic emotions suffocate her instead, till her body bursts like a balloon. Till she unravels in front of the world. TILL SHE- *Ring*
"..." Rin stopped mid-mental breakdown with her tears freely flowing down her face, she shakily answered.
"What" A sweet honey like voice, however dripping with sarcasm boomed back. "Hey where the hell are you rinnie?" Great, its Isagi, her girlfriend. oh, yea. She had one of those. How could she forget.
"First of all Isagi, don't call me that lukewarm nickname, secondly im skipping."
Isagi gasped, perhaps with mock surprise. "WHAT A SHOCK.", "Hurry your ass to school, i miss you"
Rin groaned and rubbed her temples, "im coming fuck hold on."
Isagi giggles on the other end "cumming huh?_" Rin hangs up the phone and places it in her pocket, she stands up, stretching her thighs and cuts once more before turning on her heel and leaving.