Chapter Text
Louis found that being friends with Legosi was like hanging around a caged animal and wondering when it would finally snap.
Legosi liked to pretend that he was harmless. That he lacked that ‘killer instinct’ that carnivores had, but Louis saw it.
He saw it in the tense way Legosi carried himself, the fidgeting hands, the twitching of an ear.
He saw it in the way his muscles always seemed to be pulled taut and rigid, in a manner that might have painted a picture of a predator lying in wait if it hadn't so clearly been a beast in a constant state of holding themself back.
He saw it in the way Legosi never truly let himself relax.
Not until they were alone.
It wasn’t until the two of them were behind closed doors, away from prying eyes and judging stares, that Louis saw tight muscles suddenly go slack. Shoulders were rolled back and a sigh of relief was breathed out in that typical Legosi fashion – the one that made you wonder if the wolf was truly carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Louis understood what it was to perform.
It was all he had been doing his entire life, or for the parts of it that mattered at least.
It was why he never commented on Legosi’s sighs or stretches.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to make the wolf self-conscious about his performance, in fact, Louis had no qualms about calling Legosi out on his acting or making how he felt about the wolf’s attempts to tone himself down to avoid appearing ‘threatening’ or being ‘too much’ for herbivores known, as if all herbivores were defenceless creatures who couldn’t handle a carnivore at its unfiltered core.
No, it was more that Louis didn’t want to acknowledge what it meant that Legosi only ever dropped his stupid performance around him.
Louis understood what it was to perform, and he might not have approved of how Legosi did but he understood why.
It didn’t change anything though.
In life there were good actors and there were bad ones.
Louis was a great actor, and he knew it, but Legosi–when it came to Louis at least–was a terrible actor, and the stag could read him like a book.
And that, was why Louis never protested when Legosi staggered forward and sunk his huge frame into Louis, wrapping strong arms around him and breathing in heavily.
Louis complained for sure – he would call him a pathetic mutt or ask what Haru or any of the rest of his friends would say if they saw him like this in a deriding tone, but he never ordered the wolf off of him.
Louis knew Legosi needed the hug, the touch. And though the contact sometimes left him feeling like he needed to claw off all of his skin, Louis allowed it. For a friend.
God, he hated how soft this stupid wolf was making him.
Legosi was a predator.
At every interaction Louis was reminded of just how much stronger than him Legosi was.
Of the damage the wolf could do if he were to ever set his mind to it.
It should have terrified Louis, and it did.
Louis, who had never been touched with love before Haru, allowing a beast, a mutt, to envelop him in a desperate embrace and trace a clawed finger down his spine?
He could hardly believe it himself, and yet, he would sink into the touch just as much as Legosi.
In that moment there was no predator or prey, no carnivore or herbivore, no wolf and no stag.
It was just Legosi and Louis and the hug and Legosi’s smell and the way his fur felt twisted between Louis’ fingers and it all hurt just so good.
It was stupid.
In fact, Louis found that becoming friends with Legosi was the worst, most stupid, and most dangerous decision he had ever made – and yet, he couldn’t imagine going back to life without it.
Imaging life without Legosi as a friend was like imagining life without the Sun.
It was imagining a cold so cruel it soaked into your bones and made you forget what warmth was.
Warmth was Legosi’s smile.
It was Legosi’s laugh.
Imagining life without Leogsi as a friend was, to Louis, forgetting what life was about.
Legosi had shown Louis what it was to drop the performance, just for a moment, and truly feel all that he felt instead of just channeling the emotions into another character, another show.
Legosi was like the Sun in how he seemed to devote himself to revolving around his friends and the people he cared about, constantly sticking close just to make sure they were okay while simultaneously touching them with that infectious warmth of his.
The warmth that made you forget why you had built up all those walls in the first place.
To Louis, Legosi was better than the Sun.
He was a version of the Sun that wasn’t impossible to touch.
The first time they had shared a bed Louis had spent the night praying he wouldn’t get burned.
It had started under odd circumstances.
Legosi had showed up at Louis’ private dorm room in the middle of the night and Lois hadn’t known what to think.
“I…don’t mean to be a bother.”
Louis took in Legosi’s towering frame, the awkward arm scratching at the back of his neck, his shifting feet, his reluctance to look Louis in the eye, and sighed.
“A little late for that.”
Legosi winced and folded in on himself slightly, and Louis felt a twinge of guilt.
He hadn’t meant to be mean.
Rather than apologising, Louis simply sighed again, taking extra care to sound exasperated as he stepped to the side and crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow.
“Well? Come in,” he prompted when Legosi stared at him wide-eyed and unmoving.
“I– I really don’t want to intrude…” Legosi mumbled, back to addressing the floor rather than Louis as he clasped his hands together.
“Oh for God’s sake,” Louis groaned, finally deciding he had had enough and grabbing one of Legosi’s arms, forcefully pulling the wolf into the room.
He locked the door behind them as Legosi practically fell into his room, yelping in surprise.
Louis had let go of his arm but for some reason he chose to stare at the Wolf’s awkward limb rather than his eyes as he asked, “Well? Why are you here?”
When Legosi didn’t reply Louis released a heavy sigh, finally tearing his eyes away from the wolf’s arm as he buried his head in his hand.
He was too tired for this.
“What trouble have you gotten yourself into now Wolf?”
“Oh no, it’s nothing like that!” Legosi said loudly and suddenly enough that it caused Louis to snap his head up and blink at the wolf in surprise.
“Sorry,” he said quieter, wincing.
Louis ignored him.
Now, Louis prided himself on his impeccable judgement. All of the decisions he made were calculated, well-thought out.
Usually.
But right now he was tired and wanted to go back to bed as soon as possible, so before his usually flawless judgement could warn him against it, Louis had his hands on Legosi, turning the wolf from side to side as he surveyed him, checking for injuries.
“Erm…Louis? What are you doing?..”
“Trying to gauge just how much damage you’ve done to yourself this time,” Louis replied easily, not looking up.
“What? No– I– Louis stop!” Legosi suddenly caught both of Louis’ wrists in his hands and Louis tilted his head up in surprise.
The two stared into each other’s eyes for a moment before Legosi quickly turned away, slowly dropping Louis’ hands.
“Sorry I…I didn’t mean to do that.”
Louis ignored the apology, staring at the wolf curiously.
He seemed entirely uninjured.
Strange.
“Why are you here Legosi?” Louis asked, interrupting the steady stream of words Legosi had been mumbling to himself–too quiet for Louis to hear.
Legosi flicked his eyes over to Louis before mumbling again.
Louis resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
“Legosi it is very late and I am very tired, you’re going to need to speak louder than that–”
“I couldn’t sleep!”
Louis paused. Blinked.
“...I’m sorry?”
Legosi said nothing and with nothing to impede his disbelief, Louis continued.
“You came to my room…in the middle of the night…on a school night…knowing the rules about carnivores and herbivores interacting after hours, as well as how much stricter they’ve gotten after recent events…all because you…” he paused to look Legosi up and down, trying to scan for anything he might have missed and eventually coming to the conclusion that, yep, this was it, and staring at him with nothing less than shock as he finished, “couldn’t sleep?”
Legosi winced, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else despite all the trouble he had taken to get here and finally nodded slowly.
“It’s just that–” Legosi tried, cringing at every word that left his mouth.
“Well I–”
He let out a dramatic sigh and buried his face in his hands, shaking his head dejectedly from side to side.
“This was a mistake,” Legosi mumbled, the words muffled as he refused to remove his head from his hands, probably because that would mean looking Louis in the eyes.
“I should just go–”
“Wait!” Louis suddenly called out, stopping the wolf just as he was turning to leave.
“Stay.”
Legosi’s face was bright red and looked incredibly confused when he turned to face Louis and send him a questioning look that told Louis the wolf wasn’t sure if he was being serious or not.
Surprisingly to the both of them, Louis was.
Too tired to summon up a performative smile and knowing full well that Legosi would just see through it anyway, Louis simply nodded over to his bed.
Legosi lingered, hesitated, but whatever drove him to Louis’ room must have affected him more than Louis originally guessed because despite his assumption that the wolf would take more convincing, Legosi seemed to sway towards the bed after just a moment’s consideration.
Initially, he awkwardly perched himself on one side of the bed, sitting stiffly in a way that made Louis wonder if he was even putting his full weight on the piece of furniture.
But if Louis was going to do this he was going to go all the way he decided, pushing Legosi onto his back with a hand on his chest as he climbed into his own bed.
The wolf fell with a huff, no less awkward now that he was lying down and Louis sighed, rolling his eyes.
“Why can’t you sleep?” Louis asked the ceiling.
Surprisingly, the ceiling didn’t reply, but to his right Legosi sighed.
“I keep having these…dreams,” he muttered, “about Haru.”