Chapter Text
Men don’t cry. It’s as simple as that: if you cry, you get a beating. If you cried during it, it only ended worse and more painful. That was the rule, unyielding and brutal.
Maybe it’s less severe now, but the punishment of life will stick forever. Trauma can change a person in a matter of minutes or even a matter of seconds.
Pain messes with your head; some are tough enough, man enough to fight through it, but not everyone is that strong-willed. The world softens, yet the scars never go away, and the voice in the back of your head quiets without fully disappearing.
That voice that tells you how pathetic you are or tells you what you do and don't deserve.
No matter how hard you try to keep your secrets, they will always come to light one way or another. As much as you try to bury those secrets and keep what little dignity you have left, it’s useless. Although burying them might be easier than trying to forget them.
You can throw yourself into work, or run until you can no longer feel your legs. You could drink away the memories and try to think of other things. Or you could sit there in an interrogation room and remember, remember all the things you’ve done wrong in life, all your mistakes.
The process of trying to do just that, forget, is what brings us to the one and only Aaron Hotchner. A simple man who throws himself into work and runs to keep his mind quiet.
Who is currently sitting in an interrogation room in the middle of Manassas, Virginia, handcuffed to a table, and acting as stoic as ever.
There were bones discovered in the area around four hours ago. They seem to be at least a decade old, and they were found in a house where, coincidentally, an Aaron Hotchner used to live.
Evidence found at the scene suggested a connection to Aaron through an old, dusty storage box containing documents with his name. It's not far-fetched to suggest an old resident as a suspect, so they quickly decided to bring him in.
The local PD went to Aaron’s home looking for him, but no one was home, which was not a surprise considering he was at work more than he was at home. When they didn’t find him, they made their way to the Bau office.
The team was walking off the elevator, on their way to get Chinese food from a nearby restaurant, when they heard loud footsteps from the door.
At the sound of a rough voice, they all looked forward to the noise.
“MCPD, put your hand where I can see them now!” yelled what they assumed to be the head of the Virginia state police, immediately profiling the men.
It took them a few moments to identify the men approaching as they were rounding the corner.
Out of instinct, Penelope raised her arms, her face full of shock. The rest of them, being agents who actively work in the field, hesitated, glancing around to find who the men with guns were talking to.
Penelope's mind raced with fear and confusion, while Derek´s first thought was to protect, ready to confront the threat. Spencer calculated the odds, searching for a logical explanation.
The guy in the middle, holding up a gun towards them, shouted again, “I said put your hands where I can see them right now!!”
Their expressions turned confused and shocked as the men moved closer, aiming at Hotch. The gunman's expression was tight and filled with anger.
The team started getting tense as the gun got even closer, but Hotch's face didn't show any sort of emotion. It would be a lie to say he wasn't a bit scared, but he would rather get shot than show it.
“Whoa, what the hell, man!” Derek shouts at them.
This only angers the officers more, so they provide more aggressive measures. One guy moves to hotch as the other still has a gun trained on him.
The man grabs him by the arm and pushes him up against the nearest wall. He pulls the cuffs from his belt aggressively. Before anyone can react, the third guy points his weapon at Morgan.
Penelope lets out a loud gasp at the sight of a gun aimed at her friends and herself. JJ has a hold of Spencer’s arm out of pure reflex, and Rossi is standing in front of Emily as if to shield her.
The click of head cuffs is louder than ever, and Hotch is being hauled away quickly and aggressively.
“You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law…” The sound slowly faded out as they dragged him out the front door of the bau.
The team stood there, all in complete shock. They were all confused about what had just happened. Why did their boss just get arrested?
Soon enough, they went from a scared group of friends to professionals. They were all tense, filled with worry, but right now they needed to keep it together.
Rossi gave out orders for JJ to call the local PD, where Hotch was presumably being held. Spencer and Emily went to get the car ready and head to the police department to talk to the detectives.
This was not the first time someone from the bau, let alone their team, has been arrested for something they didn’t do. Elle was wrongfully detained for a murder, as well as Derek, but Aaron?
It was almost unbelievable, he follows every rule and always makes sure everything is done by the book. It was difficult for everyone to even imagine him breaking the law, let alone hurting another person.
No matter what, they will do whatever it takes to clear the name of their unit chief, their boss, their friend. Every time one of their team members got into an intense situation, their boss was present and ready to help.
That brings us back to the present, where Aaron Hotchner is cuffed to a table in the interrogation room. Morgan, Emily, and JJ stand on the other side of the one-way glass as Aaron attempts to drill a hole through it with the hard glare of his eyes.
It was no surprise Hotch was pissed; he had been sitting there for two hours, and no one had even told him why he was there. His team obviously knew he hadn’t done anything illegal, but apparently, others thought otherwise, or he would be at home with his son.
The thought of his son made his heart ache. Jack meant the universe to him, and now there is yet another reason to be separated.
At the rate he was going, he was never going to see Jack again. It's times like these that make Aaron question why he's still an agent. Why is he putting himself and his son in danger just to help other people?
It's not like they have ever tried to help him. Maybe this was it? Maybe it was time to think about other occupations, if he ever got out of this one.
Rossi called and explained to Jess what was going on, and despite her wanting to come here and see him, no one aside from the police or agents was allowed, so she agreed to stay put.
After Haley’s death, she worried constantly about Aaron; she looked after Jack any time he asked, which occurred very often. She tried to blame him for her sister’s death, she really did. Despite her efforts to throw blame, she just couldn’t do it. It wasn’t his fault, and she knew that.
The day after Haley’s funeral, Jess came to take Jack for a little while, but when she got Jack in the car, she went back in the house to say goodbye. Aaron couldn’t take the sight of his son going away, especially after the attack from Foyet.
He keeled down on the floor of his living room, in front of his sister in law.
“I’m sorry”, he cried.
The raw, wet emotion in his voice was something no one had ever witnessed.
“Aaron—”, she tried but was interrupted, “I’m so sorry Jessica, this wasn’t supposed to happen”, he apologized through choked sobs. He bowed his head down practically to the floor.
She knew he hated being pitied, but in that moment, she couldn’t help it. He was on the floor crying and apologizing for something he had no control over, and it hurt her deeply to see him like that.
She slowly bent down and dropped to the floor next to him. She grabbed him by the shoulders in a tight hug.
“Stop it, dammit, stop,” she whispered, her voice soft and quiet, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Don’t you ever apologize to me or anyone else again. It was not your fault, Aaron.”
He felt a warm hand on his back. Jess started rubbing his back as he leaned into her, tears slowing. He almost said he was sorry again, but instead he stayed silent because he didn’t know what to say.
He didn’t deserve to be cared for after what he did. He has never been loved unconditionally; he has always had to work for it.
His father, his brother, and even his own mother couldn’t truly love him. When he was a kid, something was standing in the way of him and his family.
It was like they were seeing things differently from how he did. He felt alienated in their presence. Sean, his brother, was the favorite, but Aaron never understood why.
Sean never behaved; he broke things and yelled; Aaron was always to blame for being a bad influence on him. The unfairness of the situation never made Aaron angry at Sean; he loved his little brother. It made him angry at his dad.
Why did he love Sean but not him? He spent years trying to find the reason, until he decided twenty years later that he no longer cared whether he was loved or if he was hated.
A mother loves her child no matter the circumstance, or so people thought. It’s a mother’s job, her duty, to keep her child safe and cared for. Though that is the case, it doesn’t always work that way.
Aaron’s mom loved him, but she didn’t like him. She tried to give him everything he deserved, but in her eyes, there wasn’t much he deserved. He was too much like his dad, and that scared her the most.
He was a ‘bad child’ who made a point to not follow the rules because, like any other kid, he acted out for his father's attention.
Who knew that all the running around, the fighting, and acting recklessly would end up with him being a suspect?
Not just a suspect but the main suspect, a murder suspect, and of the death of his father.