Chapter Text
Day 1 back in Konoha:
It had been a while since Sasuke had returned to Konoha. He’d made a habit of returning every other month or so – solely to appease Kakashi’s insistence on knowing where he was and how he was doing.
Sasuke hadn’t meant to stay away for so long.
Based on his calculations, he’d been gone for almost eight months.
He’d gotten distracted while completing his mission for Kakashi and somehow had ended up spending several more months in a smaller village close to the one his mission was based in. Soon enough, more than half a year had passed him by.
He simply found it fascinating — how those foreign villages functioned: existing on their own without being controlled by pointless rules and societal expectations. How free the villagers were, despite how little they had.
As he stood by the gate welcoming him to Konoha, he almost felt as though he missed it, and wished he could return there instead. Almost. But not enough, apparently, because why else would he have returned here otherwise?
To Konoha, again and again.
He let out a small huff, trying to work up the nerve to go through with it already.
The weeks of travel had left him exhausted and the mere thought of the conversation he’d have to endure while giving Kakashi his report was almost enough to make Sasuke bolt away (again).
Alas, he'd chosen to come back, so he really had no one else to blame. Whether his return was out of choice or mere obligation… that was irrelevant.
He cast a short glance behind him, to the path away, before using what remained of his chakra to teleport to the Hokage’s office.
...
“Is that all?” Kakashi drawled, feigning disinterest. He hadn’t looked up from his smut novel since Sasuke entered the room.
Sasuke’s mouth twitched in irritation.
“Yes, that's all,” he answered.
His old sensei still looked the same, although the dark circles under his eyes had definitely darkened since Sasuke saw him last. He looked less stiff in his Hokage uniform than before as well. Sasuke supposed that he was used to the position by now, despite never having wanted to take it in the first place.
Between the new buildings and roads, it seemed that much had changed in Konoha while Sasuke was gone.
Or more accurately, much had changed that he hadn’t bothered to notice before.
Just standing in front of Kakashi in the Hokage’s office was something he couldn't get used to, despite the three years since they’d adopted such a routine.
He’d never grown used to the notion of his old sensei, annoying and nosey as he was, being Hokage. A role that he himself would shed one day soon, befalling onto another.
It was a day Sasuke thought of often, as it somehow haunted him and simultaneously brought him an unparalleled sense of peace.
Yes, much had changed indeed.
“Alright, well thank you for your report, Sasuke.” Kakashi was saying. “In light of your latest information on Kodamagakure, I’d highly appreciate it if you attended the upcoming meeting to share your findings with Shikamaru and Lady Tsunade.”
He paused.
“Unless, of course, there are more important matters you have to attend to, that you weren't able to handle in the eight months you were gone.”
Ah, there it was.
The inevitable guilt trip for his unexplained disappearance.
A flash of irritation surged through him, and Sasuke clenched his jaw to restrain from rolling his eyes again.
Despite Kakashi’s pointed comment, Sasuke knew that the Hokage was genuinely worried about the rise of the new, relatively-unknown village he'd been sent to observe. It had barely been three years since the end of Fourth Shinobi War, and everyone was eager to protect the fragile sense of peace that had finally settled over the village. Kakashi likely wanted Sasuke present at the meeting to reassure the council of Kodamagakure’s intentions.
He knew this, but it didn't make him any less annoyed.
“No. That's fine,” he said. Not that he had a choice.
“Wonderful.” Kakashi said.
“I’ll see you in two days then. Get some rest. I’m sure Naruto’s excited to see you.”
...
Sasuke was surprised he hadn't seen him yet.
The moment Sasuke had entered Konoha, he had sensed the familiar sting of Naruto’s chakra, as warm and inviting as always. Even then, in Kakashi’s office, Sasuke could see his chakra signature, as if Naruto had been there recently, and Sasuke had barely missed him.
He was certain Naruto could sense his presence too, which made his absence all the more surprising.
He pushed down the spike of anxiety that came with that thought, shaking his head.
He was being unreasonably paranoid.
Everything was fine.
Sasuke had just been… particularly restless, of late.
Truth to be told, Sasuke hadn’t returned to Konoha solely to provide Kakashi with his mission report. He’d come for other reasons… incomplete thoughts and jumbled ideas that had been plaguing his nights in his inability to figure things out.
He had questions, thoughts, worries, and despite his best efforts not to, all roads had led him back here. Not to Konoha.
To Naruto.
But as he trudged through the streets with his hood on, too exhausted to teleport to his room, Sasuke decided that Naruto’s strange absence was probably for the best.
Naruto was probably still off working – the Great Shinobi Hero preparing to take on his destined position as the Seventh Hokage.
And Sasuke… he could use the rest. He ought to enjoy the unfamiliar feeling of peace and silence that came from walking through Konoha unobserved.
If Naruto were here, he’d ruin the peaceful ambiance immediately, talking Sasuke’s ear off about everything and anything that had happened since Sasuke left.
Not to mention, Naruto was a walking beacon of light and joy.
With him, attention was inevitable.
Soon enough, Sasuke would likely be surrounded by dozens of villagers and old classmates constantly greeting and calling out to his friend, eager to be in his presence, attracted to the force that simply was Naruto.
And when they’d notice Sasuke next to him, their adoring gazes would transform into weary, fearful stares filled with hate and–
Needless to say, Sasuke was grateful for the unusual silence.
Opening the door, Sasuke took in the sight of his empty and eerily quiet apartment.
It didn't look half as bad as it did when he'd first moved in. Now, there was a couch with bright orange pillows on it, a plant swaying lazily on his balcony (which was clearly still being taken care of), and cups and plates hidden in his cupboard for him to use whenever he returned (which typically served ramen, much to his displeasure).
It was still foreign to him and dingy and far too quiet. He usually didn’t spend much time in it, even when he was in Konoha. But still, it had changed for the better, over the years.
He tore his eyes away from the too-still living room, his exhaustion taking over him as he stumbled into his bedroom and promptly collapsed on his bed.
Tomorrow then. Sasuke would have to see Naruto tomorrow. For now, he would sleep.
…
3 days after returning to Konoha
Sasuke had not, in fact, seen anyone the next day. Instead, he’d woken up long past noon to the sight of the sun already threatening to set.
He’d spent the rest of the day holed up in his room, appreciating the wonders of sleeping on an actual bed for the first time in months. It was a comfort he had denied himself for far too long, and now he fully intended to make up for it.
The mere thought of it made him wish he was back in his room instead. It might have been dull and boring, but at least it was better than this.
Anything was better than this.
“Are you certain that Kodamagakure would be open to an alliance? It’s important that we are certain of their intentions before proceeding with any definite actions.”
Sasuke sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time in the meeting, his poorly hidden irritation bleeding through his carefully masked, detached face. It had been hours since the dreaded meeting had begun, and what was left of Sasuke’s sanity had been slowly chipped away with every minute he spent sitting in this forsaken office.
No matter how many times Sasuke answered their questions, Kakashi and Tsunade kept asking him more and more, seemingly never pacified by any of the answers Sasuke provided them.
He was strongly considering jumping out of the window next to him before he finally turned back to the three people watching him expectantly, waiting for his answer.
“Yes. I am certain,” he said drily. “Kodamagakure’s council was clear in their position. They are aware of their vulnerability as a newly risen village, as they do not have the sufficient resources to protect themselves from any invaders should a war suddenly begin. Their leaders made it clear that they would be interested in a potential alliance with Konoha, one that benefits both villages.”
Sasuke made sure to emphasize Kodamagakure’s significant lack of power compared to Konoha, his unspoken words easily read through his tone. They are weaker than us. They do not pose a significant threat.
So stop acting like a bunch of cowards, Sasuke did not say.
It wasn’t as though Kodamagakure could choose to outright antagonize Konoha. When Sasuke had visited, the council leaders had seemed grateful for Konoha’s interest in supporting them, but also afraid. In fact, that was how it was everywhere Sasuke went as Konoha’s representative, on the off chance he had to do so.
At the sight of Sasuke, former-terrorist-turned-ally to Konoha, council leaders and Kages alike would look on with respect and fear, all too aware of the power Konoha possessed.
Or, more accurately, their two strongest assets.
While Sasuke knew their reactions stemmed from seeing Sasuke specifically, their stares pointedly looking away from his Rinnegan and Sharingan, he knew their fears extended past him, targeted towards the world renowned Shinobi Hero that Sasuke was usually associated with.
Despite Sasuke’s silence, Kakashi seemed to understand his implications behind his judgemental glare.
You have Naruto, Sasuke did not argue. What do you have to be afraid of?
“Right, well thank you, Sasuke. Your information is highly appreciated and will be carefully considered while deciding Konoha’s definitive statement regarding Kodamagakure,” Kakashi finally replied.
“This meeting is officially over.”
Sasuke let out a slight breath, relief washing over him. Any longer and he might have actually delivered on his desire to jump out the window.
Shikamaru seemed to share his relief, dropping the pen he was using to write notes, before leaning back to stretch his arms.
“Finally,” Shikamaru grumbled. “That was such a drag.”
“Shikamaru,” Tsunade chided. “You’re the Hokage’s advisor. It’s important that you take these matters seriously, despite how trivial they may seem right now.”
Shikamaru scoffed.
“I am paying attention. It was just obvious to me since the beginning of Uchiha’s report that this village doesn’t serve as a potential threat to Konoha at all. An alliance with them should be possible, as long as we are able to set terms that are beneficial to both villages and ensure their loyalty. This is old news, and certainly nothin’ important enough to cause all this fuss over.”
Sasuke found himself begrudgingly agreeing with Shikamaru, smirking in satisfaction as his complaints about the matter of this stupid meeting were addressed.
“I suppose you’re right,” Kakashi admitted. “Although, I’m not completely convinced that all your griping isn’t just because you want to get out early. Don’t you have plans to see your friends later today?”
“I just wanted a break before the big meet up later on, alright? Besides, it was Naruto’s idea,” Shikamaru muttered, and Sasuke’s head snapped up in attention.
“Said he wanted to have a get-together with the whole gang, and we’d get drinks and dinner or somethin’.”
“Hn.”
Sasuke flushed slightly, annoyed at his own instinctive reaction. He pointedly glared at a spot on the table, refusing to acknowledge the amused glint in Kakashi’s eyes.
“My, my, what a surprise. I expected Naruto to have made plans with Sasuke tonight. You know how clingy he gets when Sasuke returns home,” Kakashi exclaimed, his tone delighted as he watched Sasuke’s carefully blank face.
“Yeah, I was surprised too,” Shikamaru said, and Sasuke could hear the curious lilt in his voice as he too, studied Sasuke’s reaction.
“I mean, he was pretty insistent on all of us meeting up for dinner. And after I told him that we had a meeting scheduled today, I half-expected him to come barging in mid-meeting to see Sasuke. M’surprised he actually didn’t do it.”
Sasuke stiffened.
So Naruto knew where he was.
He’d known all day, not just from their bond, but directly from Shikamaru as well. And yet, nothing. Sasuke hadn’t heard a word from him.
He'd brushed it off earlier, trusting that Naruto would find him eventually, and soon would be beaming at him and yelling his name in that too-loud voice of his like usual. But now… it had been three days since Sasuke had returned, and Naruto was still nowhere to be seen.
Despite Sasuke lurking around the areas Naruto was usually in, it seemed like Naruto was a ghost.
Shikamaru was right. Usually, whenever Sasuke was forced to attend such dreaded meetings, Naruto would barge in halfway through, demanding that Kakashi let Sasuke out so that they could spend time together. Sasuke would pretend to be annoyed at the interruption, while internally thanking Naruto for his unbridled clinginess.
He wasn’t sure why, but Sasuke felt a lurch in his gut at this realization. Something felt wrong. He'd known since before he'd arrived back in Konoha, this unexplainable tension and dread flooding through him–
“Oh, has Naruto not come to see you yet, Sasuke? He hasn't seemed particularly busy recently,” Tsunade said, her eyebrows raising in surprise as Sasuke tensed up even more, seemingly confirming her thoughts.
“No.”
His clipped answer was met with silence.
He could practically feel the unsaid thoughts and questions running through everyone’s minds as they turned over Sasuke’s response and tried to make sense of it. Of the idea of Naruto knowing that Sasuke was back, and not seeking him out.
Even the thought of it felt peculiar to Sasuke — baffling, really. Like he’d woken up in an outlandish, laughable reality in which up is down and left is right, and Naruto didn’t care when Sasuke came home–
“I’m sure Naruto’s just busier than I thought,” Tsunade said softly. “Perhaps he has taken on an overwhelming workload as of late. He’ll make time to see you. He always does.”
Sasuke looked up from the hole he’d been drilling into the table with his glare, meeting Tsunade’s sympathetic gaze. A wave of embarrassment and anger washed over him at the realization that his panic had been showing on his face.
He stood from his seat, glaring at all three of them, ignoring the looks of intrigue and confusion in their faces.
“If that’s all, then I’m going to go now,” Sasuke said coldly. He made his way to the nearest window, opening its hatch and pushing it open. He needed to get out of there.
“Sasuke–”
He was already gone.
...
Once he’d calmed down, he came to a reasonable conclusion with an easy solution.
While it was…odd that Naruto still hadn't seeked out Sasuke despite his return, Tsunade was probably right.
Naruto was likely swamped with work, doing his best to live up to everyone's expectations under the council’s watchful eye. During his previous visits, Sasuke had often wondered how Naruto managed to keep going despite the overwhelming pressure he was burdened with.
He could begrudgingly admit that he was no exception. He too believed that only Naruto could fix Konoha, rebuild it into a village that wasn't crawling with corruption and built on hidden crimes.
That was why he was here, was it not?
That hope.
If Naruto still hadn't come to him, things were likely worse than Sasuke expected. The dumbass has probably overwhelmed himself by the amount of work he'd taken on in pursuit of becoming Hokage, his childhood dream doused by the cruelty of reality.
And if so, Sasuke could understand why Naruto had disappeared, his chakra suppressed in an attempt to prevent Sasuke from finding him.
That was fine. Sasuke would find him anyway.
If Naruto needed help, he was there. If he needed someone, he needn't even say the words.
The years after the war had changed Sasuke much as well. And if Naruto was pulling away, he had no qualms with being the one to drag him to sense this time around.
Resolute, Sasuke tugged on the bonds connecting the two of them, calling out to Naruto in the way he knew best. He used his emotions to reach out, expressing everything he was too proud to put into words.
Allowing Naruto to read Sasuke's feelings and understand them — understand him — as he always did best. Where are you? Where have you been?
He paused.
Silence.
Silence.
…
Sasuke snarled in frustration.
Fine. If Naruto was just going to keep acting stupid and avoiding him for no goddamn reason, Sasuke would gladly comply. Until Naruto learned how to grow up and use his words like an adult—
Then he felt it.
A twinge on their bond, like Naruto had barely grazed it with the barest touch. So subtle that Sasuke could have almost missed it, if he hadn't been paying utmost attention.
But it was enough.
Sasuke felt a rush of Naruto's emotions, his own adrenaline surging through him as he breathed in the familiarity of Naruto's presence.
His relief was short-lived, however. As soon as it came, the feel of Naruto's feelings and presence slipped out of Sasuke's grasp, a force slamming down and shutting off the connection between them.
Sasuke barely had enough time to process what had happened, when something else registered in his mind: Naruto's feelings. The haze of bitterness, pain, and exhaustion that was released in the split-second that Naruto had opened up to him. Before turning Sasuke away.
Sasuke chose to ignore the tight squeeze he felt in his chest at the thought of that — of Naruto hurting alone and feeling like he couldn’t turn to anyone about it, even him. Much like he had all those years ago when they were still in the academy, and the both of them had been deemed as outcasts, united only by their loneliness and anger.
But things were different now than they used to be. Neither of them needed to be alone anymore. Surely Naruto understood that too?
Well, it didn't matter either way. Naruto had never been the stealthiest ninja, and there was only so much he could do to hide his overwhelming presence.
Sasuke breathed in, taking in his environment and scouring, waiting–
Ah, there it was.
That familiar surge of chakra he'd recognize anywhere, in any form or body, suppressed, but no less powerful. Like a lighthouse calling him, beckoning him home. Home.
A moment later, Sasuke was gone.
...
Sasuke hastily entered the door to Naruto’s apartment, finding it already open. He slipped his spare key in his pants, scanning the living room until his eyes caught on a familiar head of spiky yellow hair slumped over on his couch, reading a piece of paper, several documents scattered on his lap.
“Naruto.”
The blonde bobbed his head once in acknowledgement, unsurprised by his presence.
“Hey Sasuke,” he said. His casual, flippant tone made Sasuke tense up even more, utterly perturbed by his behavior.
It was still mid afternoon, far too early for him to already be at home instead of being at work.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
The blonde shrugged. Casual. Indifferent. Too indifferent.
“It's my day off,” Naruto said.
Sasuke’s eyes narrowed.
“You haven't come to see me.”
Naruto laughed, the sound so jarring and unlike his usual laugh that it startled Sasuke. Even more so did the fact that the other still hadn't turned around to face him.
“Oh c'mon, Sasuke. You just got back. Even I'm not that pathetic.” The words were intended to be playful, blatantly ignoring the tension between them. But the words landed heavily, and Naruto’s tone was too sharp to be facetious.
Sasuke frowned, impatiently walking towards Naruto and stopping once he was facing him directly.
He looked the same, though his hair had definitely grown a little longer. He seemed more tired than usual, but still the same nonetheless, all smooth tanned skin and spiky blonde hair and an everlasting slight scent of miso.
Naruto finally looked up at him. Sasuke’s breath caught. His eyes were also still strikingly blue.
“Why haven’t you come to see me?” he repeated.
“Why haven't you come to see me, asshole?” Naruto said, and he rolled his eyes in response.
“What do you think I’m doing here, idiot,” he spat.
Another laugh. Too loud. Too disingenuous.
“…I’ve been busy. Kakashi-sensei has been delegating more of his duties to me in preparation for when I become Hokage. He's been giving me more work recently. So. It's um- it's been a lot.”
His answer made sense; it was what Sasuke had been expecting, but it felt too… rehearsed.
Being busy had never stopped him from dropping everything to see him in the past.
“I see.” He swallowed. “You look like you need a holiday already, dobe. How are you ever gonna survive being Hokage?”
It was an attempt at a joke, to return to the familiarity of their usual banter, but it landed flatly and pathetically in the silence. The chasm between them felt uncrossable.
Since when were they so awkward with one another?
“Y’know you're allowed to rest, Naruto,” he said, trying again to strike up a conversation and wincing at how odd the concern sounded coming from him.
Naruto frowned, recoiling and turning away as if his words had hit a nerve and made him uncomfortable.
“Naruto–”
“Yeah, no Sasuke you’re ah- probably right,” he mumbled half-heartedly, his hand lifting to rub the back of his neck.
“I’ve just- been so busy…”
Sasuke’s eyes shot to his, observing how Naruto refused to meet his gaze, his eyes trained on the living room floor like it was infinitely more interesting than their conversation. Lying.
Definitely lying.
To him.
About what?
About not believing that he needed rest?
No. That wasn’t it.
“He hasn't seemed particularly busy recently.”
Taking a day off, rarely being in the office of late, Tsunade noting that he didn’t seem preoccupied lately…
Ah.
It wasn't stress. Naruto simply hadn't wanted to see him.
He ignored the sting of hurt that came with the realization.
“I should go,” Sasuke said, turning to leave.
“Wait!” A hand shot out and grabbed his arm, holding him in place. The papers previously on Naruto’s lap fluttered to the ground. Sasuke refused to turn around. The grip on his wrist tightened.
“Sas- I… I’m sorry.”
He turned, meeting blue eyes. Guilty and apologetic.
Good.
He swallowed, ignoring the ever-present sinking feeling in his gut.
“Come. Let’s eat,” he said, tugging Naruto by the hand still gripping onto his wrist.
With some ramen and thirty minutes, Sasuke was certain he would understand why Naruto had been away for the past three days, what was wrong, how he'd been doing (with enough detail to write a day-to-day outline of Naruto’s life), and figure out how to solve the problem.
They would talk it out, and everything between them would go back to normal. They would be fine. They were fine.
Naruto fidgeted uncomfortably, loosening his grip on Sasuke’s wrist but still not letting go.
“Ah crap- I wish I could Sas- um dinner with you, I mean, but uh-” Naruto continued scratching the back of his neck.
“I already have plans. I’m meeting Shikamaru and the others for a little reunion dinner.”
He let go, kneeling to pick up the papers that had fallen on the ground in his haste to pull Sasuke back.
“I wish I didn’t have to go, but y’know the others would be just um- really upset if I cancelled on them so last minute. But y’know it- it’s really good to see you. It’s uh- it’s been a while.” His voice quieted towards the end and he straightened up.
For a moment, they just stared at each other.
Blue eyes met heterochromatic ones, and for one gloriously gratifying moment, Sasuke understood everything.
Every carefully hidden thought and feeling. Every word left unsaid. He could see the desperation etched into the dazzling blue of Naruto’s eyes, could feel his pain as though it was his own.
Everything felt so right in a way that only made sense if everything else was wrong.
Then Naruto looked away, and it was gone.
The whiplash had Sasuke reeling, his heart still palpitating like he'd fought a war in the brief seconds Naruto had looked at him.
“I-I should probably go now. Don't wanna be late so- I’ll see you later, Sasuke.”
The blond practically jumped away from him, footsteps quickly retreating from the living room, before his front door opened and shut, leaving Sasuke alone once more.
It took him several minutes later, standing there in the silence, to realize that for once, Naruto hadn't bothered to ask when he would leave.