Chapter Text
Russell stared at the red carpet on the floor of his fancy, tidy bedroom. He just came back from a meeting with the Elites regarding the clan's finances which was slightly getting better but it still wasn't enough to reach the heights it used to have.
But he wasn't focusing on that, his mind being clouded by questioning thoughts spinning around his head. Russell had everything he asked for when he was a boy: he was respected by his co-workers, treated like a king, he had purpose as a father and the leader of the Toppat Clan...
Yet why did he feel so empty and alone despite everything he has achieved so far?
He fiddled with the golden buttons on his shirt, trying to articulate his thoughts and feelings he could describe into proper words.
The chief suddenly remembers something that was said to him two months ago.
"You...You gave up everything in your life for them?"
Russell's expression becomes downcast as he remembers the argument he had with his former best friend; both having said harsh words to each other but there was an undertone of hurt and betrayal under all that anger.
He doesn't blame Johnny for his outburst. In a way, he did deserve it for hiding something like this for so long and never telling anyone about this until it was far too late.
However, some of the words that Johnny said still angered him.
"Look, what they have done to you, man! It's like they brainwashed you or something!"
Where did he get that idea from? The Toppats didn't brainwash him, nobody did!
Russell supposed his former friend was in denial in what happened but that didn't make his anger die down any less.
"I never forgot about you, damn it! I tried the best I could!"
His hands gripped together tightly, trying to keep himself calm and not let the fury inside control him. But emotions are quite the passionate thing for him, he needed to let them out when they get a little too volatile.
Tried? Then you didn't try hard enough for me. Where were you when I needed you the most, huh?!
Unfortunately, Russell can't really trash his bedroom. So, he swiftly stands up and began looking for a room. Most of the rooms in the cruise ship was mostly soundproof much to his relief.
Eventually, he finds himself in an unorganized room that didn't seem to be inhabited by anyone. Once he was sure there was nobody else around and the door was firmly locked, Russell finally decides to release all of his feelings that kept bubbling inside since the past few months.
Russell sat on the floor, hugging himself as he cried, tears streaming down his face, some of them falling and staining the ground. The photoshoot he had to attend just right after his confrontation with his ex best friend (he corrected himself) was straight up awful. He had been dressed in his stuffy suit and forced to put on a smile during the whole thing to hide how angry, sad and betrayed he felt.
It took everything in his being not to punch someone right then and there. Finally, when it was over, he made a beeline for his room and cried himself to sleep, not even bothering to change out of his suit. However, he could barely sleep with nightmares constantly haunting his mind that night so much as he had to take a day off the next day to fully recover.
After a good while of screaming and tearing apart the room in a fit of rage, he wasn't sure who this anger was directed at. At himself or his friends or family or the Toppats or the Government. Perhaps it was a combination of all of them, Russell wasn't so sure.
Was this healthy? No, not really. But Russell needed to let the vicious fury out of him before he directs it at an actual person (which in his opinion was much worse than an inanimate object). He knew it was wrong, but he didn't care. He tore apart anything that was in his sight and by the end, the entire room was in shambles save for himself.
Nobody should see him like this. The clan were all looking up to him to fix their situation and his children needed their father to be strong. The latter almost gave him a panic attack. He refuses to let his children's image of him be ruined in the same way his father did to his own.
In hindsight, Warren had never been the best father. It even feels a bit of stretch to even call him that. In the end, the sergeant never cared for being a father and left all his parental responsibilities to his mother and Hershell in search of advancing his career in the Government. Russell wished he didn't try so hard to gain his approval when he was a boy.
He takes a few deep breaths, rubbing his eyes with his hands. He should probably get someone to fix up all this damage and keep quiet that it was him who did this...
Unlocking the door and stepping out, Russell takes a few deep breaths while closing his eyes.
"Chief?"
He flinched and snapped his eyes open. Why did it have to be him of all people on the cruise ship?
Russell could hear him approach him but didn't look in his direction. Explaining his emotional breakdown to his right hand man was the last thing he wanted to do.
"...What happened in there?"
"Nothing to be concerned about, Sven. You can go back to whatever you were doing―"
"I heard angry screaming and breaking stuff! I think that's a valid concern!"
Damn it, the room wasn't as soundproof as Russell would like to be. And the Swede can quite stubborn when he wants answers.
"Sven..." He really didn't want to have this conservation right now.
"Chief, please tell me what's wrong!"
"It's nothing, you're overreacting, Sven..." Russell insists in a weak voice.
But Sven had a strong grip on his arms now and wasn't backing down any soon.
"You're not clearly feeling fine, Chief, just go and rest-"
"No, no! I―I can't! I have so much work to do!"
However, Sven simply let go one of his arms and slowly dragged him to his room. When they arrived, both of them sat down on the bed. There was an uncomfortable silence before the right hand softly spoke up.
"For today, you're not going to work at all." He stated gently but firmly, "Let me and the rest of the Elites handle everything for the next couple of days."
"But―"
"You just had an emotional breakdown, Chief," Sven pinched the bridge of nose in annoyance, "Let me guess you were going to overwork yourself if I hadn't caught you, huh?"
Russell lets out a small chuckle; the Swedish right hand knew him so well. It was something he adored and hated at the same time.
Sven lets out a sigh, "I know you have a lot on your shoulders at the moment, the future rocket launch, the terrible financial situation, finding where the hell the Toppats in the Airship were taken to and getting them out but if you want to do all that, you are going to take some rest from time to time. The clan needs you more than ever especially right now but how you can do that if you're not in a clear state of mind?"
He thoughtfully runs a hand through his messy black hair. I should probably get a haircut soon. Russell hated to admit it, but Sven brought up a good point. He couldn't do his work while he's so exhausted and emotionally drained. But the Toppat chief still wasn't convinced...
"But who's going to do all my duties? I don't want to burden you with more than you already have, Sven." Russell questions.
"You don't have to worry about that, Chief. The Elites and I will handle it. It's ok to be tired, it's a natural part of being a leader."
Sven walks out of the room and opens the door but before he does that, he turns around for one more time.
"Is there anything else you want?" He asked.
"No, you don't need to stay here any further," Russell waves dismissively.
Being the right hand man, he was already carrying heavy duties. Why burden him further just because he was an emotionally unstable mess?
"If you say so..." Sven replies, taking his leave and exiting the room. Once Russell was alone, he grabs a nearby towel and heads to the ensuite bathroom. Technically, the cruise ship did provide its own set of towels to all those who are aboard, but he preferred to use his own.
A little while later, Russell comes out of the bathroom, dressed up in comfy sleepwear. He was going to bed rather early today but before he does that, he needed to check on his children.
As he walked past the many rooms, he could hear hushed conservations and arguments from many of them. Not that Russell has a particular interest in any of them. When he headed towards the room, he lightly opens the door. All four of his children were sleeping soundly, many bed sheets, pillows and plushies surrounding them.
Admittedly, Russell had been secretly worried that they couldn't handle the change from land to sea. Thankfully, that wasn't the case for them. It was reassuring to know that they weren't feeling like him. He quietly closes the door and returns back to his room, soon after collapsing straight onto the bed.
He wasn't feeling ok today, but he would be...eventually.