Chapter Text
This was probably Lucius’ least favourite part of every courtship, but he’d given it a good go and this was the kindest thing he could do. It wasn’t his fault in the slightest, it was simply that he was clutching at straws here, Agnes Fleming was a perfectly attractive blonde, a pureblood Ravenclaw with impeccable grades, she was the last Ravenclaw girl he possibly date and it simply wasn’t working. There was little more than four months left of school and he'd been so sure he’d find his wife, or at least narrowed down who his wife could be, before it ended. He’d entertained courtships with girls from Beauxbaton’s and Durmstrang in the holidays, dated almost every eligible Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, and Slytherin girl he could over the past two years, but he was no closer to finding the cream of the crop. That was what he wanted, like his father and grandfather had before him, but now it seemed he’d go into the rather savage fray once they left school to try and snap up a woman who could meet his expectations.
Agnes simply never stopped talking, wittering on and on about some boring thing or another, something about herbology, one of her friends, something her cousin had written. It was all so banal, he’d thought with her academic prowess they’d have some heated debates but he’d been wrong. He’d thought her dandelion blonde hair was rather fetching, but it was actually quite brassy in some lights, her green eyes were a boring hazel at times, and worst of all she was so brash. Even now as they sat in the Three Broomsticks, despite his offer to go to the teashop, she was far louder than he’d like a woman to be.
“Wouldn’t it be lovely if we took a trip over summer, perhaps you could join my family in France for a week or so?” Agnes smiled her awfully wide smile, it really emphasised that horrible dimple in her chin.
Enough was enough.
“I think our time together has come to an end,” it was better to make it fast, to get out of here without a scene being caused. “No, no,” he shushed her with a wave of his hand. “It’s been lovely, you’ve been great fun, we’ve had great fun together, but I just don’t feel it’s working. We should quit while we’re ahead.”
“You said you loved me.” By the tears in her eyes, it did seem a scene was brewing.
“Well, it has only been a couple of weeks.” So, it was a preposterous thing to believe. “Look, Agnes, you’re a lovely girl and I’ll always have a soft spot for you-“
“Oh, fuck off Lucius. You’re a liar and a cad, you aren’t funny and you’re a terrible lover.” This was exactly the reason they were not suited. “You weren’t even my first, thankfully. I suppose the bill is on you, that’s all you’re good for.”
“Agnes, please we’re in public.” He shushed her through gritted teeth.
“Of course, that would be what’s bothering you.” She scoffed, her chair screeching backwards as she snatched her beaded bag from the table. “I’ll see myself back.”
Well, that was bloody unexpected. Of course they’d seen each other over the half term but it had hardly been anything, just a single dinner and one trip to the theatre. The letters they’d exchanged had been minimal and in the two weeks since they’d returned to school they’d hardly seen each other, so this wasn’t exactly a surprise. People were looking, a few sniggers, but no one of note, he’d finish his drink and then leave. It was a little funny after all.
With Agnes now out of the picture there were only three girls he deemed eligible left, all three in his own house which meant he must proceed with immense caution. There was Helena Montague, not the brightest witch, she was clever enough and scored decently well in class but there was a sort of vacancy to her. Yet she was a beauty, a tall figure that would not look amiss on the cover of a magazine, dark brown hair, dark eyes that reminded him of a fox, and she was amiable. A good choice, but not his choice.
Next there was Artemisia Nott who incidentally was practically intertwined with the last choice, Narcissa Black. Now he’d avoided them both simply for that reason, for six years they’d lived in each other’s pockets to the point it was practically uncomfortable to be in their presence. Artemesia was incredibly sharp witted, doe eyed and dark curls, she was also the Slytherin keeper and a bloody good one at that. Her brother had been the keeper before her, not that there was any nepotism at play. She was a good laugh, they’d shared a few jokes at quidditch practiced, pulled a few pranks together in younger years, but she wasn’t exactly easy to get along with at times. Now Narcissa was a strange one, she was quite pretty but a little insipid if he was being honest, too pale, too thin, very quiet, without Artemisia she was almost an afterthought. But on the other hand she was very bright, she’d never had cross words with anyone, and it did seem that a few of the other boys were sweet on her which meant she must be desirable.
It wasn’t an easy choice, as he trudged through the dreary streets it started to rain. Not that real rain that called for a few charms to keep dry, but that horrible mist obscuring the sky yet not quite calling for any intervention. A tiny flower was budding on the vines that crept up the walls of the little house, to live somewhere like here must be quite strange, the houses so small and pressed together, even townhouses weren’t this small. Ending a courtship was always the worst, even when his reasoning was sound he still felt rather wretched over the whole thing. He should send her some flowers, or at least some chocolates to show he had no ill will.
“Malfoy!” It was Selwyn’s voice that cut through his thoughts.
“Alright mate?”
“I heard what happened, everything alright?” Selwyn jogged to his side.
“Yeah, well, it just wasn’t fair to either of us really.” He shrugged, glancing up at the barren branches. Spring was still struggling to break through. “But anyway, I’m thinking of asking Artemisia to Hogsmeade.”
“Why waste your time with girls here, wait until we’ve had some fun over summer before you pick one.” Selwyn rolled his eyes. “Don’t ruin our plans over some silly fantasy.”
“My father always says he snapped up the perfect woman, as did my grandfather.” He sighed. “I want to do the same.”
“Do you ever think that they simply say that as they love their wives?” Selwyn matched his pace.
“Love is hardly a measurable criterion to pick the perfect woman.” At times Selwyn could be rather dim. “I’m going to find her.”
“No doubt you will,” Selwyn shrugged, he simply didn’t understand the gravity of the situation. “I’ve not done my arithmancy homework yet, have you?”
“You can copy mine if I can copy your potions work.” In his quest for love he’d almost forgotten about exams. “We’ve got a quidditch match next week, could do with some extra practice.”
The rain cleared slightly as they made their way back to the castle, the brief pangs of sadness quickly wiped away by Selwyn’s friendly chatter. They had so many plans once they finally left school, so many places to go, things to do, he was ready to take the world by storm and father was ready to release his trusts. The first year should be all about freedom, he could look at establishing himself after that. He was a Malfoy after all, he must leave his mark on the world.
“Avery’s waiting for us.” Selwyn lead the way through the great hall, it was late enough that most of the students had already eaten but just the right time for fresh food to be served.
He took the seat to Selwyn’s left, opposite Artemisia with the pretence of discussing the next match. Here he was perfectly poised between the seventh-year boys and girls, a strategic vantage to inform his next decision, Helena was to his left and Narcissa was opposite Helena but beside Artemisia. In the previous years Narcissa would always sit between Bellatrix and Artemisia, sometimes with Andromeda but that obviously went rather sour, now she seemed a little lost without a sister by her side.
“Why is it always pie?” Avery sighed. “There are other ways to prepare food.”
“Have the chicken?” He quite liked the chicken, it was usually a safe bet for school food.
“It’s in a cream sauce, I hate cream.”
“Seven years and you’re still complaining.” Selwyn had gone for the lamb. “Judging by that button on your shirt you’re eating something.”
“Shut up.” Avery snapped, but he always gained a little weight at school.
Helena had picked the pie and what seemed to be a mountain of roasted carrots, Artemisia had a single lamb chop, a couple of roast potatoes and a few peas drowning in gravy, that was a black mark as he hated peas, then Narcissa for some reason had a single slice of white bread slathered in strawberry jam. Despite being inseparable the two were polar opposite, Artemisia in a well-fitting black blouse and pleated skirt whilst Narcissa seemed to be drowning in a soft blue jumper with a lacy collar peeking through. Perhaps he was leaning more towards Artemisia after, or Helena as she was yet to be discounted and her blue dress was incredibly fetching.
“We’re going to practice a little tomorrow morning, fancy joining?”
“It might rain tomorrow, haven’t you checked?” Artemisia shot a look to Narcissa, her dark curls swept away from her face with a rather becoming ribbon. A small barrette might be a good way in or set of ribbons with little charms. “I suppose you were too busy grieving your latest break up.”
“I think that’s the fifth this year?” Narcissa giggled, her own blonde hair was secured in two rather boring and somewhat infantile braids with white ribbons.
“Why are you eating bread and jam for dinner?” He watched the pink blush spread across her cheeks with a smirk. “Or not eating it,” his eyes flickered meaningfully to the untouched plate.
“Cissy, did I tell you my cousin wrote from France?” Helena shot him a rather cold look as she drew Narcissa into a conversation of her own.
“The afternoon might be better.” Artemisia reached for her goblet, “or Monday evening?”
The conversation continued around quidditch for quite some time, Selwyn and Montague joining to offer their insights. It was hard not to notice that Artemisia was quite magnetic, she really did hold court amongst the Slytherin girls, her laugh was infectious, her anecdotes interesting, only her tongue could be a little too sharp at times. Helena clearly thought so, you could tell by the way she’d abruptly exit the conversation to start one with Narcissa and then rejoin when she seemed less bothered. Narcissa, on the other hand, just sat there following the chatter as she nibbled the tiniest crumbs of her bread and sipped at her water.
“Mother said she’s sending another package of buns in the morning, it’s silly but I’m quite excited.” Narcissa pushed her plate away, she’d not even eaten a quarter of the slice. “I hope she sends them early.”
“Hunger strike for sweets, a bit third year isn’t it?” He huffed a laugh, only to be greeted by a withering glare from Artemisia.
Whatever the glare was about, probably an inability to take what was dished out, he gave it very little thought as he jumped back into conversation with the boys, the girls were wittering on about some shop and he’d much rather talk of quidditch. The hardest thing about being trapped with the same people for seven years was the intense predictability of it all, Artemisia would say something, Helena would agree, Narcissa would say something slightly different and Helena would agree to that as well. The girls were an echo chamber, always getting along when he and his friends were no strangers to a fight.
Artemisia and Narcissa stood to leave, Selwyn and Montague were so deep into a quarrel over the best seeker in this year’s tournament that they didn’t even acknowledge them. He did, although he was quite rudely ignored.
“Narcissa is sick and she’s terribly embarrassed about what it has done to her, you mustn’t make jokes like that.” Helena elbowed him rather roughly in the ribs. “I have astronomy class.”
“Helena, I’ll walk you.” He quickly got to his feet, there was a chance he’d blown it with all three. “What do you mean she’s sick?”
“What do you mean you haven’t noticed? Not a week has passed since September that she hasn’t spent at least two nights in the hospital wing.” Helena waited for him to take her books, then taking his arm. She really was an attractive girl, a truly striking profile. But her forehead was a little high really. “She can hardly eat, the poor thing. You know she’s not even allowed to fly as she’s fainted a few times.”
“Well, what happened?” Great, now he felt like the world’s biggest cunt.
“You really don’t know?” She raised a brow.
“Nope.” Obviously not.
“You know all that happened with her sister, over summer?” Helena waited for him to nod, not even checking to see who was around them. Luckily no one of note. “Well, the stress of the whole situation really affected her. She collapsed in early August and my mother told me it was an ulcer, but I have my doubts.”
“What do you think it was?” He drew them to the side of the corridor as they left the great hall.
“I think Andromeda tried to poison her.” This is why he thought Helena was a bit dim. Poison didn’t linger, they’d had a whole term of antidotes in potions class.
“Right, so what do you actually know?” It was hard not to be sharp, but he did quite a good job.
“Well, they say it was an ulcer and she spent the whole summer trying to recover but none of the potions were working. I hear they sent for healers as far as China, but it was the stress that kept bringing it back.” Helena whispered. “She was almost recovered when she came back to school, her mother wanted to hold her back a year but Cissy wouldn’t allow it. Now, of course she’s stressed with exams and she can hardly eat anything. She can’t eat salt, fat, acidic foods, she can hardly eat anything beyond bread and sometimes jam and she’s so miserable. Can’t even have a cup of tea!”
“Bloody hell, that’s rough.” He actually felt terrible. “There must be a potion she can take?”
“She has them,” Helena checked the time on her wand, inclining her head for them to carry on their journey. “But they only do so much and the school won’t cater for her diet as Madam Honour seems to think it’s a mind over matter kind of thing, you really wonder how she got her qualifications.”
“Well, I am really sorry to hear that.” He had the perfect way to get back into all the girls good graces. “I’ll write to my father, he’s a governor and he’ll demand they do as needed. You can tell her that, if you want.”
“That’s really kind of you, Lucius.” She glanced up at him, giving him one of those smiles that turned him to butter. Girls would truly be the death of him. “I hate astronomy, it’s so frightening walking back to the dungeons so late.”
“I’ve got a few chapters I really need to read, I can get through them with no distractions on that windowseat and wait for you to finish.” It’s not like he had anything better to do. “Maybe we could go for a little walk after, the night air would do us good.”
“That is really kind of you.” Gods, Helena’s eyes were enchanting. “You sure it won’t be too late?”
“Of course not,” he let his hand linger at her arm as she took the books back. “And if it was too late, that’s all the more reason to escort you back.”
A quick warming charm made the rather draughty windowseat a little cosier, the worn woven cushions were a little rough as he arranged them to his liking and cracked open his herbology chapters. Helena was very easy to get along with, she had some admirers but beyond a short flirtation with Rosier there hadn’t seemed to be any who’d sparked her interest. Not to sound carried away but it did seem like he’d found his next love already, actually she probably was the one for him, he’d gift her something small, just to get the idea afloat, something for her hair. He adored long hair.
“Lucius, you waited.” A soft voice pulled him from his notes.
“Of course I did, let me carry those.” He took the books, charming them to follow behind with a quick spell. “Let’s walk through the courtyard, I’ve got us some hot chocolate.”
“How thoughtful.” Helena had a breathy giggle, one that seemed slightly nervous at times. Maybe he’d been too harsh, she might be nervous and not just a little stupid.
“We’ve been in the same class for seven years and I feel like I hardly know you, why we fix that?” They could take their time, wander through the courtyards and as it grew colder she’d huddle closer to him for warmth. He could offer his jumper, or his cloak, and they’d laugh about how it drowned her whilst she secretly thought what a fine specimen of a man he was. It was perfect.
Truthfully he didn’t really listen to all Helena had to say, an older brother and sister with quite a few years age gap, a relatively normal family life deep in the Cotswolds, she played the piano, enjoyed riding a broom, even had a few cats that she liked to play with. As he half listened to her story he offered a few bits of his own, just enough to keep the conversation rolling as he scanned the skies. The clouds were so thick you couldn’t see a single star, you could hardly see the moon, there was this heaviness about the air that hinted to the rain about to land. It was probably best not to practice tomorrow.
“I have to ask, why did you end it with Agnes so abruptly?” Helena’s question snapped him back to the moment. “It is a little odd, you broke up with her at lunchtime and you’re walking with me tonight.”
“Ah, that.” He needed to think of something good, something that would free him from any judgement.
“It’s okay, I shouldn’t pry.” She moved away slightly.
“I did like her, a lot actually.” He let his shoulders drop, turning his face away as if the words were too much to bear. “She liked someone else more, when I found out, well-“
He didn’t even need to finish the lie, Helena had thrown her arms around him in the most overdramatic display of comfort a girl could possibly muster. For his part he leant into it, seeping her into a tight hug as she whispered that he deserved so much more. He did deserve more, a lovely girl like Helena whose hair smelled like coconut. He’d love to take her to the theatre, she probably looked quite a sight dressed up, pearls would shine perfectly against her dark locks and he knew just the jeweller to get the hairpins.
“Let’s not dwell on it.” He offered a soft smile as she stepped away from the embrace. “Everything happens for a reason, and besides if it hadn’t happened then I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to spend an evening talking to you. Imagine that, we could have left school having hardly known each other.”
“I thought Rosier and I would be together forever, he forgot about me the moment he finished school.” She blinked a few times, a suspicious sheen in her eyes.
“Only a fool would forget about you,” he offered his arm again. “Let’s go back, it’s cold and we really should be in bed.”
The walk back to the common room was much more pleasant, he found himself talking a little more whilst Helena actually aired some interesting opinions. He’d written her off too soon, a fools mistake.
***
Narcissa stumbled as she climbed from her bed, knees slamming against the stone floor. It was one of those nights again, her pyjamas were already drenched with sweat and her stomach burning. Today she’d had half a plain biscuit, a spoonful of porridge, and barely more than a bite of bread and jam yet she was still hunched over in pain. This school was full of pointless rules that seemed little more than a way for the teachers to exercise power, she couldn’t get her potions without going to the infirmary and convincing Madame Honour that she truly was sick yet the infirmary was so far.
“Cissy, are you alright?” Artemisia’s sleepy voice pierced the darkness, for the past three nights her friend had sat with her as she writhed in pain or helped her limp to the infirmary. “Do we need to go again?”
“No, just some fresh air.” She could barely form the words, but it seemed to be enough to have Artemisia settle back into her bed. That was the problem with dormitories, no privacy.
She summoned her slippers, her dressing gown, even her perfume so she wouldn’t feel like a complete and utter mess, before struggling through the door. Each step forward was a challenge, the walls wildly spinning whenever she dared to lift a foot from the ground, the fire in her stomach burning so fiercely that she was sure if she raised her night shirt her entire tummy would glow red. It was so unfair, such a cruel illness to strike her, to top it off she was still so hungry, to be in this much pain yet still long for food was laughable. It took almost half an hour to stagger down the stairs to the common room, yet it only took thirty seconds to collapse through the door and land ungraciously on the floor.
“Get to be-“ Selwyn trailed off, as a prefect he was rather vigilant about the younger years staying in bed at night. Mostly as he wanted to smoke in peace. “Narcissa, tell me what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing,” yet she clung to him as he guided her from the floor, her voice weak with pain as the world darkened. “I feel a little unwell.”
A gentle breeze kissed her cheeks as soft notes of lavender filled her nose, she didn’t need to open her eyes to know that she was already in the hospital ward. This was a place she’d spent far longer than she would ever wish to since September, the only nice thing about it was the view from the windows. She’d probably spend a day here and Madam Honour would proclaim she was cured and needed to stop wasting time. The usual. Yet something was very unusual, a familiar floral perfume drifted past.
“Mama!” The blankets were tucked so tightly around her that she struggled to sit.
“Oh, darling, my little darling.” Mother was at her side in an instant, sweeping her into a comforting hug. “I’m taking you home, I never should have let you come back.”
“Mama, no-“
“Let’s think about this, Cissy has exams in only a few weeks.” That was the measured tones of her father.
“Who cares about some silly exams when my darling daughter almost died.” Mother held her tighter, almost suffocating here. “This place has gone to the dogs.”
“I care.” Well, she cared not to have to come here next year. “I’m very hungry.”
“You’re coming home sweetheart, I won’t hear anything else.”
“Now, Mrs Black, perhaps there is something I can do to assure you of her safety.” A slightly less familiar voice floated around the curtain, Mr Malfoy. “As governor I will ensure all adequate measures are put into place to ensure our Narcissa is safe.”
“I want her home.” Mother shook her head, she seemed very tired. “Look at her, Cygnus, she isn’t well.”
“Narcissa, we’re going to bring you home for two weeks and if you seem to be improving then we can discuss returning to school. Your work will be sent daily, as will any notes, and I’ll you a tutor, but you need to be taking these potions three times a day as directed and you must eat a little more.” Father cast a stern glance towards Madam Honour. “If these instructions had been followed then we would never have found our daughter in this situation, the instructions were clear. The potions must be taken three times a day for six months, regardless of a lack of symptoms, and the plain diet should have been followed. This school has allowed for neither, setting us back another six months until recovery.”
“I think there has been a misunderstanding,” Headmaster Dippet had the poor foresight to disagree.
“Too right there has,” Mr Malfoy cut in. “One that you will rectify immediately.”
“Cissy, I’m taking you home now.” Mother summoned a cloak. “Come on darling, don’t move to fast.”
***
The early summer rain tapped against the cobblestones as he hurried across the courtyard, things always seemed to be getting far more complicated for him as time dragged on. Helena Montague had been absolutely perfect, well apart from that annoying way she snapped her lips after sipping a drink, and the way she stirred her tea too vigorously, and her laugh was a bit nasally if he was being picky, but he still hadn’t decided to date her. It was much harder to date a girl from one’s own house, especially as their families were somewhat close. All he needed to do was decide that she was the best option, but he didn’t want her to be a best option, she could be a good second option, or a nice maybe, but perhaps they weren’t fated to be together after all.
There were three weeks left until exams started, then only another three weeks of exams until he would leave this place behind him. Yet he was no closer to finding the one, the woman that would make his heart tremble. Perhaps it was all a lie. In the library the windows had been thrown open, it was that horribly muggy British weather that could be solved with a few charms if anyone bothered to cast them. As he perused the shelves of the library for anything that might make his ancient runes exam go a little easier, it was all pointless really. When he returned home father would spend the next few months administering his real education, they practiced duelling most holidays, dedicated hours to the dark arts, learnt everything a true sorcerer should, but this time he would go through his paces and prove himself to be the next patriarch of the Malfoy family.
“Last minute cramming?” Artemisia Nott was leaning against the bookshelves.
“Us too.” Narcissa was sitting on the floor, she looked dreadful.
She’d only returned to school for about a week since her mysterious month-long disappearance, apparently something rather dramatic had happened and she’d been at deaths door, his father wouldn’t even tell him what had happened, yet she looked like she could use several more months rest. It was obviously that ulcer trouble but to what extent he wasn’t sure, all he knew was that she had complete leave to eat in class and seemed to be constantly sipping this mealy-grey drink that looked atrocious. Even now she was nibbling this small oatcake, one so boring it didn’t even have a drizzle of chocolate to life it.
“Are you okay down there?” She looked paler than her school blouse, deep purple shadows under her eyes.
“She was feeling dizzy-“
“I’m fine.” Narcissa snapped, shooting her friend a look. “I was looking for a book, but it’s not here.”
“What are you cramming?” He offered his hand, Narcissa might claim she was fine but that very clearly wasn’t the case.
“Potions and transfiguration.” Artemisia motioned to the stack of floating books. “You?”
Besides the little awkward moment where he pulled Narcissa from the ground and almost ripped her arm from her body, which in his defence was due to him not realising just how weak she seemed to be, the conversation was flowing rather nicely. He shared a few quips with Artemisia, earned a smile from Narcissa, even had a small moment where he plucked a feather from Narcissa’s hair. If he had to pick then it seemed Artemisia was winning, only it was rather awkward as they were always together. He was a genius.
“Girls,” he led with a charming smile. “Would you like to go for tea on Saturday?”
“With who?” Artemisia twirled a dark curl around her wand.
“With me.” Obviously.
“Just you?” Narcissa looked up at him, her eyes really were a gorgeous shade of blue.
“Yes.” Actually, she also had a rather sharp cupids bow that was quite alluring.
“So the two of us, and the one of you?” Artemisia repeated.
“Yes.” How clearer could he possibly be?
“Go away Lucius,” Artemisia rolled her eyes as Narcissa descended in a fit of giggles. “We’re not about to become your concubines just because you’ve dated every girl at this school.” The laughter was a little rude. “I’m not an idiot, I know how you work.”
“Selwyn’s taking me to by some ribbons.” Narcissa’s clung to her friends arm as she laughed, as though tea with him was a perfectly ridiculous prospect. “There might be some Hufflepuffs you’ve yet to date.”
“Who knows, we could’ve had fun.” He winked at Artemisia, playing off the whole thing as a silly joke. “Could have celebrated our win of the quidditch cup in style, I know you don’t really like the Three Broomsticks.”
He may have laughed with them, left the library as though he didn’t have a care in the world, there was probably never a time in his life where he could have possibly felt more humiliated. They had still been laughing as he walked away, as if dating him was comical in any way. Yet he was sure Selwyn was only taking Narcissa to by ribbons out of pity, and Artemisia had never been asked out and that likely wouldn’t change once they’d left school. He was Lucius Malfoy, the most eligible bachelor in all of Europe, he didn’t need to worry about silly classmates.