Chapter Text
JJ's hands are shaking uncontrollably. Blood thicker and darker than she thinks she's ever seen. His breaths, hitching like he's trying to catch his breath, but can't. His face, that bubbly charismatic boyish grin... it's gone, replaced with a look of anguish. Her hands are hovering over the wound, shaking in their own right and although she's panicking she she's it all. Every... little... thing.
It's unbelievable really. That they've come this far since they first found the gold buried beneath old Mrs. Crane's house. Near death experiences for all of them, yet they had somehow beaten the odds and managed to stay alive. She doesn't believe this will end any differently. Because it simply can't. She can't fathom it. She won't survive it. They haven't had enough time and by them she means, them.
Her brain's neurological waves bounced around like a ball in a pinball machine while her heart beat a mile a minute. She had helped steady him to the ground. Spilling reassurances she wanted to believe but wasn't sure she herself could make. "It's okay. It's okay, it's okay. Hey, look at me. Look at me. It's okay."
As soon as he lifted his eyes to hers she tried again, "It's gonna be okay. Let me see."
He moved his hand, and she looked. It hit her too quickly. It wasn't just the sight of the deep wound but the sounds coming from the boy in front of her, her boy. "Don't move. Don't move." It's then that her breaths start coming in faster and now she's feeling like her breath is being taken just the same because how did this even happen? A father that abused his son physically and emotionally to a father that cared more about treasure than his own flesh and blood. So much so that he has now tried to kill his son not once, but twice. A sick and twisted turn of events.
"It's okay. It's gonna be okay. JJ... please, it has to be." The fear of losing him is growing stronger now as she watches him, breaths seeming harder and harder to come by. Excruciating sounds escaping his wind pipe.
He's grabbing her arm when he sees her start to spiral, "Hey. Hey... hey... hey." Once he's got her attention, he's pushing down the pain the best he can because he's less sure than her that everything's going to be okay. "I never told you my wish."
She shakes her head no because was he giving up?! He can't give up. She won't let him give up on himself, on the Pogues, on them. "What? No, JJ... JJ."
"I already got it. I already got my wish. You. You're all I ever wanted." He smiles as his eyes close. Unbeknownst to her, he's in the flashback stage of what he believes is what happens right before you take your last breath. She's there, in every happy moment of his short life. She pulls him out of it prematurely when he hears her pleading once more for him to stay.
"Please, JJ. Stay with me, please." She's begging now, tears falling from her eyes, her fingers curled into his cloth garment, holding on like the gesture alone might save him but he doesn't think he'll be able to stay.
He grabs her attention once more, "Take care of the others." He doesn't want to leave her. He doesn't want to leave the others behind either. All she can do is nod her head because what else can she do but his next words, those are the words that stab her straight through the heart. "I love you, Kie."
His eyes begin to flutter closed once more and it takes everything in her to say the words back, fear they might be the last time she speaks them. The last time she says, "I love you too. I love you too."
And then his body goes completely limp and the bone chilling screams that come next echo off the brick, "John B.! Pope!" She turns back to him, her hands cup his face as she whisper cries, "Please don't go, J. I can't... I can't do this without you." His stillness is too much. She presses her lips to his before her trembling body drapes itself against him. All she can do now is cry into his chest, fingers once again locked tight into his garment as if that will keep him here on earth.
*****
When the Pogues rush up the steps to the sight of the blonde appearing lifeless it's pure chaos.
"JJ!"
Oh my God! Is he?!"
"No. No, no, no."
"Kie! What happened?"
She doesn't hear the words though, too distraught to understand any of it. All she wants is for JJ to wrap his arms around her. Tell her this is all a bad dream. No, a nightmare because this is far worse than a bad dream.
Pope's knees buckle and drop down to rest in the pool of blood as he tries to assess the situation, eyes wide. John B. on the other side, grabbing his brother's face in an attempt to wake him.
Cleo and Sarah are holding each other. Silent tears running down their cheeks and Rafe, he's surprisingly quiet. Almost frozen as his eyes scan over the scene before them.
Pope is struggling to get anywhere on his assessment. "Kie, I need you to move!" He tries, placing his hand on her shoulder.
She doesn't budge though because she simply doesn't have the willpower. She's grieving the greatest loss of her life and nobody is going to take him away from her in this moment.
"Kie, I need you to move so I can try and help him!" Pope doesn't know if it's too late or not, that's the problem and needs her out of the way. "John B. check for a pulse! Rafe..." He pauses as he looks in the boys direction. He knows he's going to regret this next move. Either Kiara's going to kill him or JJ but screw it. He needs to assess the situation and fast. "I need you to get her off him."
"Me?" Rafe points to himself. "Yeah I don't think..."
"Just do it!" Sarah blurts, pushing her brother towards the girl. If it means they might be able to save JJ then so be it. She'll help smooth things over later.
Rafe outwardly sighs before taking the two steps required to reach down and grab one emotional curly haired brunette. She fought him, of course she did. They all knew she would. "Get off me! Let me go! No! JJ!!"
Pope nodded at Rafe in thanks as he held her sobbing form back. Then it was time for the boys to get to work. Pope applying pressure to the wound then rushing Cleo for her wrapped head dress. They needed to stop the bleeding and then the sign of life they needed came from John B. "Pope. I think... I think I have a heart beat."
"Let me see." Pope then reaches up, two fingers set in place, waiting. "Holy shit. You're right! Thank God. It's faint but it's there."
"He's so pale though. How much time do you think we have?" John B. asks as he turns to look in Pope's direction.
"Honestly, I don't know. What I do know, if he has any chance we need to move fast! You all go see what you can find. Something we can, I don't know... use to help carry him down from here. I'll stay with him."
John B. quickly stands, "Let's split up. Sarah, Cleo you go with Rafe. Kie, you're with me."
"No. I'm not leaving him. I can't." She's trembling, arms wrapped around herself, tears still rolling down her cheeks. He notices how she's wobbly on her feet and it makes John B. step forward, reaching for her arms to give them a gentle squeeze.
"Yes you can, Kie. We need your help. JJ needs your help. Pope's got him." John B. tells her as he guides her to follow the group.
*****
There are so many memories that flood Pope's mind while he sits there, hands pressed firmly over his blonde best friend's wound. He'd gotten them out of so many close calls, even if most were completely on a whim. And then it hits him, how distant and closed off he had become in recent days. Everyone knew why but they hadn't really addressed it, had they? Let him hit rock bottom with the drinking and self sabotage and for what? Not this.
"Should've just let them shoot me. Would've done me a favor."
Pope squeezes his eyes shut as he remembers the words. Where he said literally nothing in response. And now, his best friend is lying here, probably bleeding out and he feels the need to tell him what he should have said. "We love you, JJ. We need you. We want you here... with us. P4L man. You gotta stay with us. You can't stop fighting." He shakes his head, "Not now... not now."
Then a groan comes out of nowhere and the Heyward boy quickly looks up from his hands to JJ's face. He watches as his brows furrow and the boy takes a difficult breath, "Hurts."
"JJ! JJ, can you hear me?"
It takes a minute, the pain evident on his face, before he's hearing JJ's voice again. "Kie."
"She's okay. She's with John B. We're getting you out of here. Just need you to stay with me, J."
It's clear that the boy is struggling to breathe, to talk, to do much of anything yet Pope watches as he reaches into his pocket. It isn't until he places it in Pope's hand that he makes out what it is.
It's a beautiful sight in contrast to the Heyward boys bloody hand. A diamond covered band that is so Kiara he can't help but smile as he looks up at the boy who placed it there.
JJ speaks again. "For... Kie." His eyes close again and Pope watches as the Maybank boy winces, groaning in pain once more.
"Holy shit. Are you... are you proposing to her?"
When JJ opens his eyes again he nods, "Was... thinking... bout it."
"Then I think this needs to go back in your pocket so you can do it yourself." Pope says as he tries to put it back where it came from but JJ's hand comes up halting the action.
"Just... in... case."
Pope doesn't want to argue but God willing he was not gonna be the one to give Kiara a post death engagement ring. Not on his watch. "Tell you what. I'm gonna hold it for safekeeping but JJ... you are going to be the one to give it to her, okay?"
JJ doesn't respond as he falls back into unconsciousness and all Pope can do is wait and pray that the ring that's found a place in his pocket will somehow find it's way on one curly haired brunette's finger and that he wouldn't be the one putting it there because if anybody deserved a happy ending, it was his best friend.
*****
She wants to help John B. and the others look, for what exactly she’s not entirely sure, but she feels weak. She can’t stop thinking about him or what her life would be like without him in it. The air seems stale, lifeless. Like wanting to breathe in but knowing the fresh air you desire just isn’t going to be there.
John B., while searching, is staying close to her. Too close. She hasn’t been able to catch her breath or stop the tears that continue to slide down her cheeks. All she wants to do is go back, hold him in her arms and beg him to stay.
“This’ll work! Kie, help move those bricks.” John B. rushes as he points to the area of the worn tarp that is buried beneath a pile. When she doesn’t move John B. hurriedly moves past her to unbury it himself. As he works he speaks, “Kiara, I know you’re worried about J. So am I but he needs you to pull yourself together. He needs you to be strong right now, okay?”
“I… I can’t lose him John B. I… I can’t.” She cries, arms wrapping around herself once again. She hates this feeling. Like she’s falling apart, slowly.
Pulling up the tarp he walks towards her, stopping in front of her with a sympathetic look, “I’ve been in your shoes, Kie. I thought I lost Sarah too. It’s the worst feeling in the world but J isn’t dead yet and if I’ve got anything to do with it, he’s not dying today. You with me?”
She doesn’t know what it is, the confidence in John B.’s eyes or a second wind of some kind but she nods and swiftly moves, grabbing the other end of the tarp. The two beginning their rush back to JJ and Pope.
It doesn’t take long before they run in to Rafe, Sarah and Cleo. They were unsuccessful in their search but relieved to see that John B. and Kiara had better luck. Sarah is quick to connect with Kiara, wrapping her arm around the girl as they continue moving. Cleo takes over in helping John B. with the tarp. Sarah is hesitant but finally whispers, “Hey… you doing okay?”
Kiara hates the question but answers anyway, “Not really. I’m scared, Sarah. I’m really scared.”
“I know.” Sarah admits, pulling her in closer. “I also know that JJ… he’s a fighter and that boy loves you more than anything. Leaving you is the very last thing he wants and that… I believe that is going to get him through this. I really do. He just needs you to believe it too, Kie.”
She can’t help the additional tears that fall but the sentiment makes the corners of her lips slightly curl upwards. She wants to believe it, believe in him, believe that this isn’t the end.
*****
As soon as they show up with the tarp Kiara is kneeling at JJ’s side, hand coming up to cup his face, forehead resting on the top of his head. Her eyes are closed until Pope speaks, “He came to for a few minutes. Struggled to speak but he could understand me so that’s a good sign.”
As he stands to help with the tarp Kiara lifts her head to look at Pope and asks, “What did he say?”
He doesn’t want to lie to her but what is he supposed to say? He wants to ask you to marry him. I have the ring in my pocket for safekeeping. I’m supposed to give it to you if he doesn’t make it. No. He can’t do that so he lies to her. “You know JJ. Just joking. Making fun of me.”
She can tell he’s lying but there isn’t time to call him out on it. They lift his limp body, carefully laying him over the tarp before six sets of hands grab hold and begin making their way down.
It takes ten minutes to reach the bottom and it’s a relief that he’s still breathing as they make quick footwork to make it back to the Land-Rover. His head rests in Kiara’s lap in the back. The rest squeezed in as John B. presses hard on the accelerator. He’s got no idea where he’s going, the chances of a medical facility being nearby likely slim but he has to try, they have to try.
Kiara runs her fingers through his hair, her other hand resting on his chest as she watches it rise and fall. The others are arguing. Probably over which direction is best but her focus right now is solely on the boy beneath her. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and wills him to stay.