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“You've got to grab them by the pussy,” said Donald Trump. Socks, the First Cat, stared at the questionably ugly man at the front of the Resolute Desk.
"For the last time, Donald, I do not want to adopt another cat," replied Bill Clinton.
"At the very least get rid of that one," Donald argued, "I don't like how it stares at me." The cat in question had since taken to leering at him with feline judgment.
"Enough," Bill replied, "I am not getting rid of him."
"I think you want another cat. I think you want another pet really badly," the annoying orange teased. The tuxedo cat, already sensing that something was off, got up from his position on the desk and bolted out of the Oval Office. Almost immediately, a cacophony of hissing and barking began, followed by the sound of a valuable vase crashing to the floor.
Bill's eyes widened. "The dog," he muttered, getting up from behind his desk.
"Bubba," Donald exasperated, climbing onto the desk and crawling across the surface towards Bill. "I know that you aren't happy with your life right now. You should be with me, I'm very smart. I'm a very smart genius. One could say that I'm the smartest genius the world has ever seen."
"But Hillary-" Bill began, but was promptly interrupted.
"I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, but Bubba, what we have is special." Donald slowly slid down from the desk into Bill's lap.
"We're going to get caught, Donny. I don't know if you've noticed, but this is not the most private building." Bill hissed.
"Which is why you're going to deny it. If Crooked Hillary catches us, just say that you've never had sexual relations with me," Donald whispered into Bill's ear. "Besides, don't you want to go to my friend Epstein's island? I'll put in a good word for you if..." He paused, letting the implication hang in the air.
Bill sighed. "I have no problem with it, it's just that Hillary is right upstairs."
"That wasn't a problem for you when you were with your intern. I could've told Hillary, but I didn't because I'm so loyal, the most loyalest person in fact."
"Fine," relented Bill, unzipping his very presidential trousers. His penis, already erect, stood up.
“Oh my god, this is a big cock, maybe even the biggest cock I have ever seen,” Donald croaked out in his raspy voice that was no match for any smoker who regularly smoked a pack daily for over twenty years.
He grasped for the penis with his tiny hands. Said tiny hands, which he always insisted were bigger than they actually were (like another body part), could not hold the throbbing cock in place.
“This is a Big Beautiful Bill. Never seen anything like it,” Donald said, suddenly envious of Bill’s (average) size.
Before he could glaze the other man further, he felt firm palms on his shoulders.
“Get on your knees, Donny,” Bill ordered.
Donald obliged, settling down to the floor and standing on his knees. "I'm going to show you what you've been missing. That woman, Monica Lewinsky, knows nothing about the proper way to do things. I've been told that I'm the best at sucking dick, I'm so good at sucking dick."
"I've seen the photos, Donny." said Bill as he thrusted his cock into the other man's mouth.
Donald, living up to expectations as usual, failed to 'suck dick.' Bill considered himself and America lucky as Donald never held true to his promises. After five minutes of having his cock sucked on like a straw, Bill withdrew from Donald's mouth.
"You are awful at this, I hardly see why he keeps you around," he spat.
"Oh my god, it's just that your dick is too big. It's so massive, it's the biggest thing I've ever handled."
"You have something else I want," Bill Clinton said. And so he moved his cock down to Donald's neck folds.
"Oh Bubba," Donald moaned, "Marla left me because I wouldn't go to a gynecologist for my neck, can you believe it?
"Lemme fuck your neck," Bill said. "It's not like anyone is going to have a gaping fuckable hole in their neck anytime soon, right?"
"Yes daddy"
And so Bill Clinton fucked the shit out of Donald Trump's neck folds, and that's why his neck folds resemble a vagina today. The end.