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The Shape Of Belonging

Summary:

“Tobirama,” Hashirama calls before he can leave the room, “I’m counting on you.”

“My life is yours, anija.” Tobirama forces the words out. They burn on his tongue the same way they had burned when he forced himself to live up to their father’s expectations of him. “I’ll follow your commands until my last breath. If what you need me to do is to marry an Uchiha because your goal is peace, you’ll only have to order me to.”

The world is a cruel place and all of them had to make sacrifices and suppress who they were in order to fulfill their duties.

Tobirama's own has always lied in the shadows of his clan head’s reign, being a useful tool to carry their wills to completion.

Notes:

This fic is all Rendi's idea!

She suggested it and helped develop it into what it is today

It's not very typical for omegaverse since it deals with miscarriage and other stuff buuut I promise things get better as the story progresses

I hope you all enjoy it and please, go check Rendi's amazing fics!

Chapter Text

Butsuma is dead. His father. Dead.

 

Tobirama almost cannot believe this day has come. It is strange even. His father always seemed the kind of alpha who would endure through everything and color his memories until his last days - Tobirama honestly believed that Butsuma would outlive him. 

 

Not necessarily because he was stronger - Tobirama had long since surpassed him. But because he wasn’t a kind man. And cruel men always seem to live the longest. 

 

His father was always in favor of breeding more pups for the war. Had sacrificed two of his own sons in order to fuel the fires of the long standing Senju-Uchiha conflict. He never even respected their laws about waiting for children’s second gender presentation before sending them to slaughtering.  

 

Because of that, of their mother’s suffering and his little brothers’, Tobirama always believed that he would die sooner rather than later in a battlefield. HIs father hadn’t cared about his second gender even when he presented as an omega. He sent him on the battlefield right alongside Hashirama.

 

He hated it. But what other choice did he have? To be married off to someone? Be obliged to have pups? Be a submissive omega and have frequent heats? 

 

Tobirama preferred to fight and kill rather than to play housewife. 

 

And he got his wish as long as his father was alive. 

 

-.-

 

“I’ve decided it’s time to consider your marriage. You're fourteen now so it’s time to consider your prospects.” His father announces over dinner.

 

Tobirama feels his heart stop for a moment before he is spouting all the reasons he’s thought of to stop this. He’s been dreading this day since he presented as an omega.

 

“Please father, I’ve proven my worth on the battlefield. Allow me to continue to do so. I can be worth so much more fighting alongside our clan than birthing a few pups that won’t see a fight for years. I am a much better fighter than the majority of the clan.”

 

“You wouldn’t just have a few pups. Whoever I mated you to would ensure you continued to have pups as long as you were capable. You hold the potential of the mokuton and your chakra stores alone are worth reproducing.”

 

“I will save more lives than I can ever give you father,” Tobirama isn’t so stupid as to let a hint of pleading come through in his voice, but he is desperate for his father to allow him to keep fighting. To avoid marriage for just a few more years.

 

“Father, he does have a point. He’s saved lives time and time again on the battlefield and he’s the only one who keeps Izuna at bay. I think having him by my side for another couple of years will be more beneficial. Besides, do you even have a good candidate for marriage?” 

 

With Hashirama on his side it’s far more likely that his father will agree that he will let him continue on as he is now.

 

HIs father makes a considering face, “I suppose your brother does have a point. But if that ever changes, know that I will marry you off immediately. I have plenty of alphas that have chakra stores high enough that I think you will produce strong pups.”

 

“Thank you father, anija. I won’t let you down.”

 

“See that you don’t.”

 

-.-

 

It lasted for as long as Butsuma was alive. Now he is dead. A new clan head rises in his fall. 

 

For as long as Tobirama could remember, his anija always viewed peace not only as a goal but as something already done - he believed in his friendship with Madara, the Uchiha heir. Tobirama didn’t. He knew how much naivety could cost someone and had seen it happening with the soft hearted.

 

But his father is dead and Hashirama is the clan head.

 

With the morning period passed, his brother’s first decree is a cease fire. His second is having Tobirama write a letter asking for the same to the Uchiha as well as peace negotiations with their enemy.

 

Tobirama is skeptical it will be answered at all. To his surprise, not only do they receive a positive answer but their centuries-long war is almost over. A meeting place is agreed to and Hashirama vibrates with emotion. 

 

Peace. Tobirama has never thought it possible. 

 

If it only was so easy, though.

 

-.-

 

All important people are gathered to attend the negotiations.

 

Even Uchiha Tajima, still in recovery for his serious injury, is there to make his advice noted. It is strange seeing them all together discussing their respective clans’ futures. 

 

The truth is that no one really knows what has originated this conflict in the first place. Their histories only ever teach them to hate and fear one another. But seeing as how they disagree over cultural differences - and there are many of them, it seems - Tobirama can imagine one of them giving grave offence and a war being started over it. 

 

“We can discuss this for weeks,” Madara says when the heated argument has calmed a little, “but what we do need is a long standing way of bringing our clans together. Something that will force us to cooperate, no matter what differences we’ll find along these meetings and after we sign the peace treaty.”

 

“You’re right.” Hashirama agrees, sounding tired.

 

His brother has always been an idealist - Tobirama doesn’t blame him. Hashirama has the power to force people to comply to his vision of the world and has already done so with their own clan - normally, he wouldn’t approve of it, neither is his brother’s usual behaviour to impose on others but enough is enough (and peace is a good vision to impose on others). If not he, then who would change their clan’s mind to stop killing themselves in a pointless waste of resources?

 

It had to be Hashirama, and Tobirama suspects the same has happened in the Uchiha’s clan.

 

Maybe their generation won’t like it but their children will benefit from it. In Tobirama’s book that’s all that counts (he will never forgive their father for sending Itama and Kawarama to die, and if some people have to be suppressed to avoid other children from dying too soon, he will support his brother at all personal costs for it to be a reality).

 

Even if he has to do all of Hashirama’s paperwork for him to get the clan to continue functioning. But it is a bit delightful to see his brother struggling to act formal and composed when he knows Hashirama is anything but. Tobirama cannot do everything for him - he is only heir, after all.

 

“An arranged marriage would do it, I think,” Izuna suggests, “I don’t like the idea, and the first months or even years might be difficult for the couple but it could unite us.”

 

“They’d have to be high ranked in both clans for it to work.” Touka says - and by her face, she isn’t eager to volunteer herself for the job.

 

“I think we can postpone this conversation and next time bring potential candidates to the table,” Hashirama suggests - a thoughtful idea if his brother has ever had one. “And a rough draft of requirements for the union.”

 

“Agreed.” Madara says.

 

Tobirama doesn’t like where this is going at all - but even he has to admit it is a good solution.

 

-.-

 

If they still had their two other brothers alive, their family would probably be bigger - as well as the list of potential candidates. 

 

As it is now, Touka and Tobirama are their most high profile candidates, both for their high positions in the clan, Tobirama for being an omega and Touka a beta woman. Hashirama would do it if he wasn’t already in negotiations himself to marry someone from their sister clan, the Uzumaki.

 

“I wish I could keep you all to myself. You’ve always dealt with paperwork better than me.” Hashirama says. “But you’ll make your clan proud, won’t you, Tobirama? Marrying into the Uchiha will ensure peace.”

 

He sends a look to his brother. As if he has any options. As if his life is his to do as he pleases. The harsh truth, the one he accepted long ago, is that he was born to be a tool to be wielded as his clan head commands and Hashirama wishes for him to offer himself as a candidate to marry.

 

There’s a chance that Tobirama could be overlooked in favor of Touka but he will prepare for the worst, as usual. He learned that luck is not something he possesses nearly enough to count on it.

 

“I’ll write our requirements for the final contract.”

 

“Tobirama,” Hashirama calls before he can leave the room, “I’m counting on you.”

 

“My life is yours, anija.” Tobirama forces the words out. They burn on his tongue the same way they had burned when he forced himself to live up to their father’s expectations of him. “I’ll follow your commands until my last breath. If what you need me to do is to marry an Uchiha because your goal is peace, you’ll only have to order me to.”

 

The world is a cruel place and all of them had to make sacrifices and suppress who they were in order to fulfill their duties. 

 

Tobirama's own has always lied in the shadows of his clan head’s reign, being a useful tool to carry their wills to completion. 

 

Seeing that his brother won’t add any useful commentary to their discussion, he bows his head and leaves to write his probable future and the clan’s in a marriage contract. 

 

That night, he cannot sleep and while he would scold himself for it and the headache that will surely follow the next morning, Tobirama cannot help the worries that plague his mind.

 

He knows how omegas are treated in marriages, how they’re seen as nothing more than property and breeding machines. He is proud of himself - his body is honed to its best physical condition and his mind is sharp, intelligent. And now he is expected to give it all up to be a mindless sex toy.

 

Crying is for babies but once again in his short life he wants to. Tobirama wishes he could have the luxury of making his own choices and not account for the many lives that need him to sacrifice himself.

 

He remembers suddenly being young and seeing his mother pregnant again, her face tired and her eyes bloodshot as if she had spent the previous night crying. He was young then but now he understands her. 

 

The terror in her eyes whenever she saw Butsuma coming in her direction.

 

Her labor was painful and difficult, and she barely made it but both her and the baby, Kawarama, survived by a miracle. He remembers how she looked a bit happier, the shadows on her face diminishing as she nursed his baby brother day by day.

 

It lasted for almost six months before Butsuma demanded more pups from her and because of their bond and their laws, she couldn’t deny her alpha owner. 

 

That killed her in the end, as her body wasn’t strong enough to carry another pregnancy to term and Tobirama was left without a mother and with two little brothers to take care of and protect from their father.

 

It is that same fate that awaits him, ever since his secondary gender made him an omega. He hates that he will be forced just like his mother and that he can’t avoid it because it is part of his duties. 

 

His dark musings don’t help his mind to rest. Seeing that sleep won’t come, he decides to get up and be productive. There is a slight chance that Touka will have to marry - will be chosen instead of him and he has to make sure that the contract can give her (or him) at least good options and not imprison one of them for life. 

 

There are some points that he knows are non negotiable - such as having children - but he can make sure there are some rights to the one marrying: 

 

Whoever is the one marrying, their children must have equal rights as heirs of the Uchiha and the Senju (he thinks this could bring the clans together - perhaps even unifying them in a few decades’ time). It’ll be decided later on if the eldest child will be heir of the Senju or if the youngest. 

 

They will provide at least four children - two heirs and two spares. More will be provided if the secondary genders are unfit to leadership of the clans.

 

They will see to the sexual needs of the partner and be obliged to assist through heats/ruts should their partner ask and will be always available should their services be required.

 

They will be allowed to seek a healer’s help should the coupling cause any wounds and will be allowed to follow any treatments the healers suggest. 

 

Time between pregnancies should be at least six months to allow the pup to not need more breast milk. 

 

And finally, as is customary with the Senju, they’ll resign permanently from their activities as shinobi.

 

Should a miscarriage happen (and he thinks about his own mother here) the mother won’t be punished and time will be given of at least a month before a new attempt of pregnancy should occur to ensure the health of the mother.

 

The question of a dowry also makes him concerned. 

 

He knows the Senju will offer a generous one but he has to make sure part of it is reserved for the one marrying and, most importantly, for the children that will follow. 

 

He composes a clause about it, even specificating about it being used for personal expenses (during pregnancy time it will be harder to make their own money and he isn’t sure the Uchiha will provide or ensure all the needs are met as they should for future mother and pup) and later for education and any other child’s expenses.

 

There are many other clauses Tobirama composes, staying until the sun is up in the sky and he has clan responsibilities to attend to that demand his attention. Still, the cold, dreadful feeling stays with him throughout the day.

 

-.-

 

The Uchiha bring three candidates to marriage. Hikaku, Izuna and Madara himself. It says how serious they are about peace. The Senju offer Tobirama and Touka, Hashirama explaining he would be on the list himself, if not for his own impending nuptials. 

 

No offense is taken by that and Tobirama is relieved. These are crucial discussions and their future is going to be determined by how good at communicating they are. 

 

Both clans exchange clauses of a possible contract for marriage. Their non negotiable ones and the others following being open to changes. 

 

Madara, Izuna and Hikaku read the Senju’s carefully, as well as Tobirama, Touka and Hashirama read the Uchiha’s. It’s way less restrictive than he thought it would be.

 

“This is agreeable.” Madara decides after half an hour spent in silence going through it all. “I don’t see anything the Senju are proposing that is undue. Although, this clause about retiring from shinobi life here…Is that what the Senju do?”

 

“Yes.” Hashirama says. “To give more attention to household matters it is customary for mothers to leave active shinobi life or any previous profession.”

 

“Hm.”

 

The Uchiha have proposed similar clauses - although none of them talk about sex specifically as the Senju’s nor anything about retirement. His impression of it is that it allows more freedom. 

 

Tobirama wishes he could believe in them - he knows once it is signed, they’ll be fulfilled, but the reality behind closed doors usually isn’t as perfect and nice as it is portrayed in ink and paper.

 

“This clause of children being able to be heirs of both clans could be a problem.” Hikaku says. “I understand this was stated here because Hashirama is still without his own children?”

 

“It is.” Tobirama says. “If my brother’s marriage doesn't result in direct heirs, the responsibility should befall onto me.”

 

“Hm.” Madara looks pensive. “The Uchiha don’t really allow to marry outside the clan because of our doujutsu.” He nods, already privy to that information. “If the worst scenario occurs, couldn’t Touka’s children be chosen for that position?”

 

They could, Tobirama thinks, but Touka is really not made for marriage, much less bearing children and raising them. He wishes to spare his cousin of that fate. She fought as hard as him to be able to be a frontline kunoichi and had to prove herself and suffer scorn from many of their clan because of her sex. 

 

“I thought it would be more beneficial for both clans if some kind of integration could be ensured naturally in a couple of decades’ time.” Tobirama tries. His argument has merit. “I’m not proposing a complete mix of our clans, but wouldn’t it be advantageous if we had both future clan heirs sharing blood as close as brothers?”

 

The three of them seem to consider it. Even Tajima, who has been a silent presence until now, looks deeply in thought, pondering the advantages of that.

 

It is the opportunity of a lifetime.

 

Join their clans forever. Maybe even built a village together as Hashirama always dreamed of.

 

Izuna lets out a laugh. “This will be so fun to explain to our Elders.”

 

“They won’t like it but it would be easier to sell if we were actually trying to join kekkei genkai,” Hikaku adds.

 

Beside him, Hashirama seems to be thinking really hard. Tobirama doesn’t like it but he thinks he already knows what Hashirama will say.

 

“I must ask for a minute with my brother.” 

 

“We’ll reconvene in ten minutes.” Madara agrees.

 

Hashirama gets up and Tobirama follows. They don’t get further and his brother makes hand signs to place a sound barrier around them. 

 

“What do you think, otouto?” Hashirama says. “You know there’s a way.”

 

“You’d have to resign your children’s rights as future clan heirs. Will the Uzumaki accept that?”  

 

“I think so.” He says. “They don’t seem interested in co-ruling our clan, the knowledge exchange and the services we provide for their clan appear to be enough for them.” 

 

“It would be better to have written confirmation, even if it takes long.”

 

“You’re probably right. Wouldn’t want to insult them.” Hashirama says. “You’d have to be the one to marry, though. And the pregnancy would be difficult.”

 

“Nothing I can’t handle,” he assures.

 

“You’re such a good brother, otouto. Helping me with peace.”

 

It feels like a weight - his brother’s expectations of him. He could die by trying it but Hashirama only really cares about peace. And this also should be Tobirama’s focus at all costs.

 

“I only live to serve.”

 

“That you do.”

 

It’s time to return to negotiations.

 

“We’ll have to ask for your patience,” Hashirama says as they reconvene, “I must write to the Uzumaki and make sure my own marriage contract won’t interfere with this one. The Senju recognize the importance of this moment and the opportunity is unprecedented. If by resigning my future children’s claims as clan heads can ensure a long lasting peace between us, I’m willing to do it.”

 

The three Uchiha frown. 

 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I follow.” Hikaku says. “What does your marriage have to do with this one? We were talking about joining kekkei genkai.”

 

“Tobirama is the closest in blood to me. His relation to me allows him to be able to carry and pass on my mokuton. My brother is precious to me and I would see his children still be part of our clan as much as they’ll be yours. If you are in agreement, his children will be my heirs as much as yours with the joining of our bloodlines. This way the Uchiha won’t be giving away their doutjutsu without gain.”

 

“You- But I thought you were the only one in your clan able to wild it.” Hikaku says, surprised. “How can we be sure your brother will provide an heir with mokuton?”

 

“There is a ceremony,” Tobirama says, “we won’t give details, as you can understand, but it can be done. I imagine a marriage between two people with high storages doubles the chances of an offspring strong and able to wield both kekkei genkai.”

 

The Uchiha entourage seems genuinely surprised about this information. Madara seems to recover faster than the rest. He asks:

 

“Will the Uzumaki forfeit their rights?” 

 

“I will send a letter immediately.” Hashirama promises. “I expect an answer in a fortnight's time.”

 

“Then we will wait.”

 

-.-

 

“Are you mad, Tobirama?!” Touka all but shouts at him when they return to the Senju compound and she drags him to her house.

 

“It is my duty.”

 

“Bullshit.” She says. “You shouldn’t do it. It’ll kill you.”

 

“You don’t know that.” 

 

“But it will. The ceremony hasn’t been done in centuries for a reason! Hashirama’s mother died and she hadn’t gone through it!”

 

“Touka.”

 

“I don’t like it.” She insists. “That idiot brother of yours just thinks about peace but he doesn’t care about his own family.”

 

Tobirama exhales. “I know. I wished it could be different but we know that’s not how things work.”

 

“It’s unfair. I’m a woman and not even I am treated like property as omegas are.”

 

Tobirama just shrugs.

 

“Will you be alright? I can’t lose my little cousin to the Uchiha like this. You’re too young to die.”

 

“I’ll do my best to stay alive.”

 

“Good. Because I’ll kick your ass if you don’t.”

 

-.-

 

As expected with the Uzumaki, Hashirama’s marriage clauses are much more flexible and it is agreed that any children he eventually has will have the option to return to their sister clan and be in line of succession there - as it is seen as an opportunity for them as well, since their own heir and princess will be given to Hashirama to wed, Mito-hime.

 

Without any impediments, it is signed the agreement between the Senju and the Uchiha. 

 

An auspicious date is chosen and Tobirama will be given as spouse to Madara. 

 

Preparations are made and details are taken care of. Customs of both clans will be observed and they will be married first at sunrise in the Uchiha shrine, where their Goddess Amaterasu will observe red markings being painted on them, symbolising the red rope tying them for life. When the ceremony concludes, fire will cleanse them and they will vow fidelity and companionship to one another in front of the great flame.

 

Then, as it is custom of Tobirama’s own clan, they’ll follow to the Senju compound and Madara will be presented to their oldest tree, where it is expected that a new branch will sprout from Tobirama’s, representing his bringing into the clan. After, the new couple will be given a seed to plant, being expected to take care of it together through many years, a proud symbol of longevity, making their own roots in each other grow deep and strong.

 

Tobirama dreads it. 

 

He will have to drink a heat inducer since his heats have been stalled with a drink of his own making since his first one and it is expected of him to try for an heir as soon as possible. The drink, a tea he carefully prepares monthly, is for avoiding heats, but doesn't affect his internal organs - he checks constantly with his iryojutsu - but since it has been taken for many years, a heat inducer will facilitate things on their first joining.

 

He dreads that.

 

He dreads having to open his legs and just take it. He hates it. Hates how painful it will be. His first heat was a disaster, his father made sure of that, but he is sure Madara will be a much less patient man than he presents himself like.

 

Tobirama didn’t produce a lot of natural lubrication as most omegas do during heats that first time. It had been painfully dry and the feeling of a knot only made it more unbearable. His aversion to strong alpha scents (he has always had a sensitive nose) and the feeling of insecurity had left him, for lack of a better word, afraid of repeating the experience.

 

The partner his father had chosen for him had been impatient and brutal. Tobirama had finished his heat, covered in bites and bruised all over. He couldn’t sit for two weeks after and could barely stand his own touch, not even to clean himself. He remembers bleeding down there and fighting tears. Remembers vomiting, his nose too affected by the smell imprint the alpha left on him. 

 

He had vowed to never subject himself to it ever again. So he had studied herbs and made his body not pass through its natural cycles, he had trained harder than everyone in the clan alongside Touka, to prove his father his worth as a soldier. For a while even straining his relationship with Hashirama, his own brother thinking of him as their father’s perfect weapon, unfeeling and moved only by blood. 

 

Now he wonders how much worse Madara will be. He easily overpowers Tobirama, and since they are expected to exchange mating bites, how much more susceptible to Madara’s will he will be?

 

Will he have to deal with a rut while experiencing his second heat? How much awareness will he have during it? Will he be able to catalogue his wounds as they happen or only after? How many days will it last?

 

Will he be taken every single day until Madara’s seed takes root in his belly?

 

Tobirama has no way to know. He only knows the name of his future alpha and the clan he belongs to. 

 

He hates that his life will change - if his alpha keeps breeding him after the four expected pregnancies, he’ll have no choice but endure and stay as a sex toy indefinitely for his alpha’s pleasure.

 

Tobirama dreads it all. 

 

For Hashirama’s peace, for his clan, he will do it. Tobirama will lay his head on a silver plate and spread open his legs to his future owner, Uchiha Madara. 

 

-.-

 

To be continued…