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Goro steps out of the teachers’ office with a sigh. Supposedly there’s a bit of a troublesome transfer student that would be enrolling in this school, and that he is tasked with keeping a close eye on them as both part of the student council and their senior.
He passively wonders why they couldn’t have someone like Niijima do this, she wants to get friendly with the other students, he’s far too busy for this. Who even is this kid? They told him no details about them other than they were transferring due to a previous expulsion, but he can tell the staff were tense.
He is an assistant to a detective, he didn’t have time to be a babysitter!
Whatever, he only needs to make sure that they won’t get in trouble. Though, it’s a bit concerning how he was thrown into this assignment without any detail on the student he was told to look after— not even something so simple as their gender, nor their year! He’ll have to find that information himself it seems.
He lingers by the doorway for much longer than he should as an honours student. He strains his ears to listen in for teachers’ gossiping about this mystery student…
“— kid with — record?!”
“I — worried for —.”
“I don’t —!”
The student has some sort of stain on their record it seems. That is rather troubling, but it does clue him in as to why he was chosen and not Niijima. No matter, it’s still on him to watch over this person.
He returns home without further thought about it. It’s not like he can decline without it ruining his own carefully balanced reputation.
…
The final week before school passes quickly.
He’s now waiting in the hall to see this new kid arrive… except… It's getting dangerously close to class time. He still has time to run to class if he waits a couple more minutes, but Mr Ushimaru is rather harsh, even if he were a second past the bell.
He decides to risk it and wait for this so-called problematic student.
He stands there, listening to the other students rush past him. Then the halls were empty. He shifts his weight awkwardly as he can feel only the heaviness of the book bag over his shoulder.
He’s on a schedule damn it! Why is this student taking so long?! He glances at the nearby clock, there’s still a minute before class… At least the third years’ classrooms are on the first floor.
“Oh, Goro, is something wrong?”
“Ah, good morning Ms Kawakami.” He greets, still glancing at the time.
“I thought you’d be in class by now…”
“I was assigned to look after the new transfer, so I thought at least saying hi would be a simple start.” He sighs, “except they seem to be incredibly late on their first day.”
“Sakura said he left the house on time, so that’s odd…”
She lingers for a moment longer before heading up the stairs. Then the bell rings.
Shit—
Ushimaru is glaring at him when he shuffles to his seat, one that is inconveniently placed in the centre of the room. He’s going to get a bit of an earful at the end of class…
The bell rings, and Ushimaru releases him with a few harsh words. The class after was nothing more notable than basic introductions and some review again.
Then it was lunch. He passed by the faculty office, catching sight of someone new entering it in a hurry. Maybe they were a first year, or maybe it was that transfer student? He inconspicuously lingers around the door, trying to eavesdrop.
Unfortunately the conversation isn’t close enough to be heard through the wall, and if he tries to get closer it will certainly appear suspicious— and that’s that last thing he needs for his airs!
He’ll do with just getting a better look at this boy as they leave.
…
The door opens at last! Goro watches closely as a second year steps out with their head hung low. His (judging by the uniform) glasses are pushed all the way up to his face, black curls hanging messily over his eyes. The boy also seems to be clutching their bag tightly.
He doesn’t seem to notice Goro staring just yet. Goro will remain at the edges observing for now.
The halls aren’t exactly empty, and he is not the only one watching this student exit the faculty office. As such, he can hear certain rumours about this person. Things that simply must be exasperated by some peoples’ wild imaginations.
“I heard they have a knife in their bag.” One student whispers to her friend.
“I heard he shot someone once.” Another says, ducking into the stairwell.
The second year can hear these murmurs about himself just as well as Goro could. One hand moves away from the bag, only to remain in a tightly held fist at his side. Goro is ashamed to admit that most of the students speaking of such rumours happen to be in the same year as himself.
“How horrible! Why is someone like that at our school?!” Another student yelps, a first year this time. They said it a tad too loud to easily disguise it.
The student of the rumours breaks into a dash, in the direction that Goro roughly estimates is towards the bathroom. He is stunned at the spectacle. Some students laugh, others sound worried for the first year who spoke a bit too loudly, and a couple happened to see Goro witness the fiasco.
Their voices are sickeningly sweet when juxtaposed to the thorny words they spoke only a minute earlier; Goro feels ill just thinking about it. He pushes down the nausea as he forces himself to communicate to them.
“Who… was that?” He asks.
“Just the new transfer, no one to concern yourself with!” One of the girls assures.
“Just the opposite,” he sighs, “where on Earth did you hear those rumours?”
“It’s all over the net,” the other girl jumps to show him her phone. “It’s crazy how someone like that was allowed here.”
He takes the phone from here to inspect the post closer. Ren Amamiya, a second year student who transferred to Shujin from some small town. They have some sort of criminal record dealing with assault.
How… horrible. He should inform the detective agency about this. “Thank you for… informing me about this…” he replies with difficulty, passing the phone back. The girls seem far too happy about this matter.
Goro leaves to a more secluded place of the school: the rooftop that is technically supposed to be blocked off for students. He messages the detective that he works under.
May I speak to you about a school matter?
She reads his message quickly.
I, too, have a matter to speak with you, kid. This is your graduating year, correct?
Yes…? May I ask the relevance between that fact and the matter?
I have heard from the staff that you have to look after a troublesome student, therefore I have been asked to lessen your extracurricular burden.
What burden to speak of? I am not overwhelmed with class work, I assure you!
I told them as much, and yet I have been told to give you temporary time away from this line of work.
He stares at the message.
I had not been informed of such a decision.
I assumed as much.
His job is at risk now. He’ll speak to his teacher about this matter once his final class concludes.
…
With the final bell ringing, he rises from his seat alongside his objections. He waits for the afterschool rush to clear a bit before making his way to the faculty office.
“Miss, may I have a moment of your time?” He asks Ms Usami, his homeroom teacher. He’s trying his best to keep an even tone. “I have something I’d like to ask of you.”
“H-huh? Oh sure, what troubles you Goro?”
She’s tired, she most certainly doesn’t want to be here any more than he does. “Have you contacted my boss recently?”
“Izuhara-san? I have not, but I think the vice principal had.”
He sighs, “I see…” he hates having to speak to both the principal and vice principal, they simply do not care about the students. “It’s just… someone on the staff had asked her to fire me.”
She stared blankly, “That- that’s not right…”
“Yes! That isn’t!” Goro adamantly agreed.
“But… I’m afraid you have to bring it up with them.”
He leaves. The taste of defeat is bitter in his throat. Kobayakawa and the vice principal aren’t likely to change their mind about such a drastic measure.
Goro stops by the principal’s office. He can hear the voices of both the principal and the vice principal. They are also speaking about Ren Amamiya as he’s eavesdropping on their conversation.
“Amamiya’s criminal record is putting the students in a panic! Knives in his pockets, talk of him shooting someone— it’s absurd why we’ve agreed to this!”
“We have no other choice! And think what will come of our reputation when we bring this kid back to the right way of living—”
He stopped bothering to listen to every detail of the conversation.
Once their voices settle on the other side of the door, that’s when he makes his presence known. “Good evening, I have a matter of the utmost concern.”
“Ah, you’re the one looking after that kid.” The vice principal said, laying back in his seat with a tired huff.
“Was it necessary to have Ms Izuhara fire me?”
The principal’s grin is sickening. “Between school and those extracurricular activities, there won’t be enough time for Amamiya’s rehabilitation into student life… so—”
“You made an executive decision? Have you any idea on what that makes you appear? Taking away a job from a student, have you no shame?!”
“And where do you think you can say such things to us?”
Ah- crap… his heart got ahead of his head. “I must apologize for such an outburst, but this truly matters for my future!”
“We won’t be rescinding that statement, Akechi-kun.”
He is thrown out of the room.
…
He doesn’t even know how he got home.
Only after letting the door close behind him does he register that he’s back in his apartment. It’s unfair! Everything is being decided for him again…
He sits against the door, a simple message sent to detective Izuhara.
I tried to tell them.
The phone in his hand vibrates again from her reply, but he can’t bring himself to look at it now.
Now out of a job, he now doesn’t really have much of a choice but to focus on school and this kid.
It is hard not to blame Amamiya for all this misfortune befalling him.
But… technically, this isn’t his fault. He puts aside his device… his makeup is fucked too. Goro wipes his face on the nearest towel… he doesn’t care anymore. What a great start to the school year, he sighs.
…
He feels like rotting in his bed. But, of course, he can’t… Now he is forced to keep that plastic grin in front of each of those people. He stares at his reflection, face full of renewed cosmetics. Appearances matter, of course. And off he goes for the day, at least today he isn’t caught in the rain.
…
“Goro Akechi, please come to the principal’s office.”
There are still ten or so minutes of the final subject period. The teacher lets him go, since he has already finished the worksheet anyway.
Ah, it’s the vice principal who called him, and Amamiya is here too. Goro sort of stares at the situation, this poor second year is once again on the verge of tears.
“May I inquire as to why I was called?”
“We suggest you both should have proper meetings after school every other day at the very least.”
Amamiya bites his lip, he’s in no position to object. Goro absolutely can, but for the sake of his reputation as an honours student, he shouldn’t. “You have no regard for me…” he mutters quietly enough for no one to hear. “Ah, of course,” he replied aloud with engineered pleasantness.
The bell rings as they both leave the room. He takes Amamiya to the rooftop for a proper place to speak.
“Please, take a seat, no one else will come up here.” Goro says with a tired smile. He’s exhausted from sheer hatred and boredom.
“Mmn.”
“May I ask what happened?”
Amamiya looks at him cautiously. Tears seem to cling to the boy’s long eyelashes. “I could ask the same.” He replies instead.
“Fair point.” He passes along the handkerchief he happened to have in his bag today. Amamiya takes it, inspecting it closely before taking off his glasses.
“You’ve heard all the rumours, haven’t you?” He says, passing back the dirtied cloth.
“I really wish I hadn’t.” That was the truth of the matter.
“You’re… different from the rest.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Amamiya spoke barely audibly:
“People are ruthless once they have a reason to deem you beneath them…”
It was something Goro could agree about, but he’s certain that Amamiya never meant for him to hear that thought.
The conversation falls silent… The atmosphere was not really welcoming for getting to know him.
“Hey, should we exchange numbers?” Goro asks, “since we will have to do this in the future.”
“I guess.”
“Let’s part for today, I am sure the evenings aren’t so free.”
That… didn’t go as badly as he thought it would. Goro glances at the new number in his contacts, he wonders what Amamiya is doing now. Usually during an evening such as this one, Izuhara-san would bring him out for sushi while relaying some difficult details of a case; she always said it was easier to think about it with a second opinion. Now… now he has to rely on only himself for such nice food damn it! His savings can’t handle that!
He should look for a new part time job tomorrow…
…
The vice principal did say they only needed to meet every other day. He stands in Shibuya’s station looking at the part time work available. He reaches for another pamphlet when it gets taken by another person. Looking up, it’s… “Amamiya?”
“Ah- er…”
“You too, huh.”
Amamiya nods. “Please don’t tell anyone…”
“Why would I?”
“I… I don’t want to affect the workplace…”
Goro can’t help but wonder what the fuck happened to this poor kid. His detective’s intuition is certainly ringing warning bells every time he watches Amamiya do something.
“Please, worry not, it will stay a secret.”
“Thank you.”
Wishing each other good luck with attaining a job, they part.
He does not get hired. Of course he doesn’t… He’ll try to message Izuhara again. His savings will only last so long… Goro sighs, lying in his bed again. Meh, he can save a bit if he simply doesn’t eat tonight.
…
About a month has passed since school began, and Ren seems no closer to opening up to him than before. It’s a tad despairing, honestly. Everyone else clambers to speak to him, but Amamiya? He seems to prefer keeping his distance from Goro. It’s only, really, out of obligation that Amamiya even speaks to him!
How is one supposed to become close to someone like that?!
His pride is already shot, seasoned, and served on a sullied plate by now. Having to take on such odd jobs to stay afloat in life while also keeping his title as an honour student. None of this would have had to happen if Amamiya wasn’t at this school! He could have remained investigating crime scenes with Izuhara-san; he wouldn’t have to starve himself every few days when money gets especially tight.
He’s frustrated beyond words, but he must still save face to everyone else.
He must still act the good boy… even if he despises it—
“Hey,” Amamiya asks, eyes a sharp stare into his back. “Why do you hold back?”
Oh, that’s right, tonight was one of their mandatory meetings. Goro had been lamenting alone on the rooftop as Amamiya had been late once again. Held back for so and so reason.
“Akechi…?”
“I heard you the first time.” What was there to say? That the man beside him had ruined his perfectly balanced school life? That he now hated existence itself because of the roles forced onto him? Because it feels like control is not in his hands?
Goro opens his mouth… and he can’t seem to hold himself back any longer.
“You— what is it that you want?! You’ve taken everything from me!” Amamiya steps back in surprise of his outburst; but the bottle of emotional repression is shattered now. “My passion, my stability— every damn thing I’ve built up for my image. Was it that worthless to you?!”
“Akechi—”
“What does it matter anymore, I have nothing!”
He was going to continue after catching his breath but… Amamiya is crying. He shouldn’t have raised his voice. “Amamiya I-” he reaches out his hand, though there wasn’t any thought out intention behind the action whatsoever.
Amamiya stumbles back. His silver eyes are so small and trembling as they stare up at Goro.
There goes all his progress of getting close to this kid…
He rescinds his hand, finding it retreating to fiddle with the edge of the other hand’s glove. “Real shitty of me, huh…” he mutters to himself. He wouldn’t be surprised if Amamiya were to turn and leave right now.
Instead, he stands around somewhere out of view. “It’s not my choice either,” Amamiya sighs. Then, he leaves. Goro waits for the door to shut before he grumbles into his hands.
He fucked up.
This is exhausting. Feelings are exhausting. He returns to his apartment. He falls onto the bed with a soundless plop, he can barely move once he closes his eyes.
What should he do? To repair, to restart… Rather… Can he return to the vague friendliness with Amamiya? Well, he should at least arrange for a proper apology.
What can he…? There’s not much he’s able to apologize with. He stares up at the ceiling, watching the occasional black dot dance at the edge of his vision. Would Amamiya take only words? No, that doesn’t convey it quite enough. He wouldn’t want to push the poor Raven away any more than he already has.
It dawns on him further that he knows nothing about Amamiya.
Amamiya… has friends, somehow, doesn’t he? That troublemaking Sakamoto happened to approach him one day, and they seemed to hit it off. Perhaps he will just have to settle with asking others about it… as much as it bothers him, and his reputation will surely take a heavy hit too.
…
Goro spends the day watching who Amamiya congregates with. He’s friendly with them, smiling like nothing ever happened yesterday. Smiling like he doesn’t have a criminal record. Smiling like he isn’t scorned by the rest of the staff and student body. Goro doesn’t know how he does it, and he most certainly is not envious of it!
There is his Raven, Ryuji Sakamoto and, somehow, Ann Takamaki. He would never have guessed them to form a friend group, ever. They each wave goodbye, and Goro swears Amamiya flashes a wink in his direction. No, he’s probably just paranoid.
He should approach someone before they get too far.
But he doesn’t take even a step closer towards either of the blondes, after all, he’s never spoken to them before. Instead he waits until Amamiya becomes alone again.
Amamiya lingers in the area for a good ten or so minutes, looking absentmindedly at this or that on his phone. Then he heads towards the nearby vending machines as groups of lingering students dispersed. He buys a canned coffee, Goro watches closely as Amamiya’s face scrunches up from the drink’s bitterness. Despite its taste, Amamiya subjects himself to drinking the entire can.
As the Raven recycles the can, a small cat approaches him. Amamiya kneels down with a small smile; clearly joyed about the cat distribution system finding him. The feline warms up to him easily, Goro feels a bit jealous about it. Why does Amamiya shut him out, yet he can find friends so easily.
All of Goro’s so-called friends only have superficial relationships with him. No, this isn’t about himself, it shouldn’t be. It’s not like Amamiya wants to be around him.
Dragging his eyes back to Amamiya, he sees the boy frowning at him. That cat has also moved onto his shoulder. Goro turns to leave, the air itself no longer permitting his stay.
“Akechi?”
He flinches at his name being called. Why him? Why now? His legs don’t carry him any further, so he closes his left hand into a fist, holding it tight enough to certainly crease his glove.
“I thought so,” Amamiya’s voice concluded… something. “You’re awful at tailing people.”
“I—” that wasn’t the point damn it! “That’s not what I—” Before he could say more, that cat on Amamiya’s shoulder jumped at him. “—agh!” He hits the ground with a dull thud.
The ground hurts- well, obviously it does, it’s hard concrete. He’ll wait until Amamiya takes this damn cat off of him before he even attempts to get up. Except… he can’t, even after his Raven picks the animal off of him. His head aches, and he feels like the world is spinning. All sounds turn to cloudy static, even as he tries to hear what Amamiya is trying to say to him.
…
It’s… bright? Goro rolls to his side, trying to escape the blinding light. No- wait, that isn’t important. Why is it bright, he never has any of the blackout curtains at the apartment open. He squints his eyes at his surroundings.
This is… this is the nurse’s office at Shujin. At least, he thinks it is, it would be his first time here if so. There’s no one else in the room, not even a nurse.
He concludes that Amamiya must have brought him here.
How late is it now? He can see orange peeking through the partially drawn curtains. He should go back to the apartment… but perhaps he can stay for a few minutes more since no one is here to shoo him away.
He tries to go back to sleep since he still feels generally exhausted, but it seems like he will have no such luck. The sun is perfectly placed in his direct line of sight to stop him from doing so. Goro stands, well, actually stands with the second attempt since the vertigo the first try made him feel dizzy. The school is empty, it’s far into the evening, his steps echo in the silence of the halls as he makes his way to the front door.
“Oh, you’re awake.”
Goro flinched, he was certain that no one else was here at this hour. “Wh- Amamiya?! You stayed all these hours?”
“Well…” he tugs absentmindedly at a tuft of hair. “It was my fault, so… sorry.”
“Go home, Amamiya.” He starts descending the stairs.
“Yeah, see you tomorrow I guess…”
…
Goro wishes he’d have just chosen to stay home today. The voices of his fellow third years are dizzying, and the words of the school staff are just grating in his ear. He debates whether or not to simply leave school early, his grades are good enough in his afternoon classes that they can certainly excuse it.
He can hear his name among the whispers of gossip, feel the glaring eyes stabbing into his flesh. He’s not going to bother fighting the rumours, they’ll fizzle out eventually.
Despite it all, he stays through the day. He moves to the rooftop, waiting for Amamiya. And when the door opens again, Amamiya is just staring at him.
He sighs, the day is annoying enough as it is. “Is something wrong?”
“Hey um, can I show you something?”
“Oh?—”
Amamiya takes his hand and drags him downstairs and out of the school. They’re waiting for a train now, and Goro can’t muster the energy to ask where they’re going. He’ll trust where Amamiya is taking him for now. Even if he can’t really bring himself to ‘trust’ anymore.
There’s a gentle jingle of a bell, and the delicious scent of spice and coffee that washes over him. Amamiya sits him down in a booth, speaking to the man who seems to run this café. A full plate of curry is placed before him.
When was the last time he had a proper meal? It’s been so long that he can’t remember. And Amamiya offers this to him… He takes a spoonful then the next minute the plate of curry vanishes.
“Akechi- are you—”
“I’m fine- I-” he turns to the man behind the bar table, “another, please.”
He eats two more plates of curry, and whether it be the relief of finally eating or the spice of the curry, he was left in tears when he was finished. And the tears simply don’t stop no matter how much he wipes them away.
Amamiya motions going upstairs, so Goro follows behind him… it’s a bedroom as far as he can tell while squinting through his teary vision. The Raven sits on the bed, patting a spot beside him for Goro to sit. Goro complies.
All it was was a simple moment of weakness… and yet, here they are, Amamiya’s arms around his body… he- he should hug back, shouldn’t he? So he does.
He slowly drags his arms up and around Amamiya’s body. Amamiya has a fairly firm hold, so he too clings tighter. His cosmetics are probably running off onto Amamiya’s uniform. He feels Amamiya gently rub circles into his back…
He’s pathetic, isn’t he?
Falling apart in Amamiya’s arms like this. Yet somehow, it isn’t the worst feeling as of recently. The embrace is warm, is tight, and is real. A comfort almost too convenient to simply put a balm on his current life.
Amamiya slowly, very slowly and hesitantly pulls away his arms. It’s a minute longer before Goro separates himself from Amamiya’s body. “Sorry…”
“Please, it is alright,” the Raven assures.
He reaches for his bag, his makeup is likely a mess after all. “No, I…” what should he say? Amamiya speaks before he can continue.
“Don’t pay me back, I don’t need it.”
“But—”
“You can’t right now, right? It’s fine, Akechi, really! I decided to do this on my own.” His eyes flick down towards the ground… guilty? “How do you feel? From the other day, I mean.”
“Is that what this is about?”
Amamiya laughs nervously. So that’s indeed what got him to bring him here.
“You, of all people, shouldn’t worry about me.”
“Nothing wrong with sticking together,” Amamiya counters.
“… right.”
“Hey, um, Akechi, could I walk you home?”
“Don’t trouble yourself.” Goro grumbles.
“I- I um, insist!”
Amamiya isn’t going to let this go. “Fine, but-” god is he really going to ask this? “Could you- could you buy me more of that curry…?” This is humiliating.
Amamiya smiles. “Sure!”
—
Goro glances at Amamiya who was happily walking beside him. He knows not what this Raven will gain from something as meagre as this. Amamiya also insisted that he carry the bag of three orders of curry. It’s rather far from Yongen-Jaya, and Ren is beginning to look tired with all the walking.
“Amamiya,” Goro sighs.
“Hm?”
“Is this not a bit far for you? Even that manager at the café looked worried for you.”
“It’s fine, Akechi, really!” Amamiya assures, his smile somehow brighter than moments before.
“If you say so.” Goro has stopped trying to understand Amamiya’s choice of actions. “We’re still ten or so minutes away; will you be alright then, or on your way back?”
“Yeah, probably.”
Probably, he says. Goro rolls his eyes. His apartment is a mess and he’ll try to turn Amamiya away when they arrive. Except when they actually arrive, Goro can’t seem to do something as simple as that! Amamiya doesn’t push his luck, he doesn’t do anything to annoy Goro at all. Anyone else would certainly be more loud and annoying in his home. Ren puts away the curries into the fridge, he seems increasingly startled the more he looks around at Goro’s place.
“Is something the matter?”
“Erm… it’s… it’s so empty!”
Ren is between shock and awe at such a revelation.
“You… you live here, right? You didn’t just like move in yesterday or something?”
“Yes, I’ve lived here for the past few years. I was just busy with school and work that I never had the time to… ‘live here’, as you say.”
“I- I didn’t mean to offend, I just… It’s not what I expected, that's all.”
“Do enlighten me, what have you expected?”
“Well,” Ren fiddles nervously with his bangs. “I sort of expected something not so… colourless and empty, you know? It looks like those furniture showcases in those stores and not, well, a home.” Goro sees pink rising on his cheeks. “I've, um, overheard theories about your house, too…”
Goro is taken aback. “What?”
“Some third years seem to fantasize about it, it’s really weird.”
He’s been so busy with surviving in his circumstances that he hasn't had the chance or been in the right mental state to truly listen to the passing rumours.
“They like to think you live in some rich mansion or something?”
Goro chokes on air. “W-wh-what?! When did they come up with something so ridiculous!”
“I- I’m not sure, but it seems to coincide with your nickname.”
“Is that so?”
A prince in a mansion, what a cliché fantasy. It isn’t the worst thing that has been said with his name, and he’s certain that Izuhara would cackle at the idea.
“Whatever,” Goro glanced at the time. “It’s getting late, you should go, Raven.”
Amamiya blinks.
Goro takes a long moment to realize what he just said. “Wait-”
Amamiya goes red.
“Um- I can explain.”
“It- it’s just a nickname… right?” Amamiya looks like he’s overheating.
“Amamiya—”
“I- I’ll be going!” Amamiya rushes out the door. It was sudden. The silence that settles over the aftermath is awkward.
Goro takes a look around the room… Amamiya is right, it is empty and rather impersonal for a place he’s lived in for about half a decade. Alas it’s a bit too late to easily remedy that.
…
The next day is free. He spends as long as possible rotting in bed. There’s no point in leaving the plush expanse of his bed for the harshness of his reality. He feels increasingly more dizzy the more he thinks about stepping outside. He tries to return to sleep to soothe the nauseating feeling, only he’s rudely interrupted by a ring of the door’s bell.
He slowly pulls himself out of bed to look through the peep hole… He does open the door. “Why are you here?” He grumbles without the usual malice-laced tone behind it if it were anyone else.
Amamiya puts a bag of things into his hands. “I happened to be in the area, here.”
“What is all this?”
“Snacks and light meals, text me how they taste.” He turns and leaves quickly.
‘In the area’ my ass, he thinks as he closes the door, he sifts through the bag of things: a few brands of chips and cookies, bagged sandwiches which were likely handmade, a bit of a selection of drinks, and, at the bottom, a small bag of money with a note telling him to treat himself. This is too much!
But since it’s from that little Raven, he’s certain that Amamiya won’t let him give it back in any way. So instead, he packs away the things before going back to bed. It’s comfy enough that he doesn’t even bother feeling guilty about wasting the day away in the utter darkness of the room.
Well, there’s one thing that could maybe make this better…
Not that he’d ever risk such a request.
Amamiya is kind.
He has a charge of assault on his record.
He felt… real when Ren had hugged him.
These are simply obligations that they both endure.
Ren cares- really cares!
They’ve only known one another for three months!
He doesn’t know what to think.
This inner conflict seems to have only worsened with Ren in the picture. It was manageable before, sometimes with the help and interjection of his former boss… but now it’s getting far too difficult to even ignore it.
It’s fine, summer break is soon anyways. He’ll find out then which side is correct.
…
In the last two weeks before summer break, Amamiya had been staring at him a lot. Goro can now recognize that expression, he’s worried. Today would be the last time they see each other here on the roof, so now would be the time to ask about it.
“Amamiya—”
“Ren,” he corrects. “It’s been long enough, hasn’t it?”
“You’ve been staring.”
Ren flushes pink. “Y-yes… I have…”
“Why?”
“Well um, you look tired… and a bit frustrated or maybe stressed?”
Goro was taken aback, he thought he hid it so well. His eyebags are hidden deeply behind cosmetics and his posture was kept a perfect line.
“Um, hey, one of my part time jobs is looking for more people, want to come with me?”
He doesn’t have a job at the moment so he accepts. He is curious about the sorts of jobs Ren has picked up.
… Somehow, flower arrangements were not something he anticipated. Yet despite it Ren looks completely in his element. Ren has him hand the requested bouquet to customers, because supposedly his looks compliment the flowers or something. It goes well, and Ren looks pleased too.
They part for the evening, likely to see one another during the summer.
Lying down in bed once again, he feels generally lighter than the night before. He thinks he can be confident enough to confirm that Ren does indeed care for him.
His phone buzzes, twice. One’s from Ren, the other from Izuhara-san. He checks the message from Ren first, since he’s certain that it’ll be a shorter conversation than with Izuhara. Ren wishes him a good night and asks for his schedule over the summer… which seems a bit redundant since they had planned to work the same shifts at that flower shop. He writes back a simple thanks and that he’d send a schedule later. Izuhara on the other hand…
Is your afternoon free tomorrow?
Contacting me so suddenly?
Hush about that, kid. The summer has no bearing on that demand of your school’s.
Then yes, it is free, why?
I found a quiet café, let us chat there.
Then she sends the location. It’s pretty out of the way from where they used to generally convene. Yongen-Jaya… he vaguely recalls he was in the area recently. It’s probably a coincidence.
When the time arrives and he draws closer to the given location, he realizes it’s no mere coincidence. Izuhara is already sitting at one of the tables in Leblanc, sipping on a cup of coffee. The bell announces his entry and she waves him over. He can only hope and pray that Ren is out right now while they’re here. The barista behind the counter hands him a coffee before Izuhara starts off their chat.
“So, how have you been?”
Goro can’t help wincing at the mere thought of the last few months. Izuhara catches that immediately.
“Not well then,” she answers her own question.
“As well as getting suddenly fired without warning can be,” he replies dryly.
“And your little friend?”
Well, this is awkward considering said friend lives in this café’s attic. “I can’t see what the school was worried about, he’s acclimated far better than I could ever expect.”
“Goro.” She shakes her head, “nevermind. Something like that coming from you is trustworthy enough.” She falls quiet, she rarely does.
“Is something—”
“You’re blushing.”
“I- what?”
“Someone’s got a little crush?”
He’s left speechless. “What- no, no we’ve barely known each other and—” and damn it, he’s fallen into her trap. He sighs, “think what you want, it will never be like that.”
Izuhara was always a fan of childish rumours and school-time tea. She smiles, clearly not believing a word he says. “You should thank him, kid, he’s the one that had set this up after all.”
Ren did this? At this rate Goro will never be able to repay him for such kindness. “I see, I’ll text him later.”
“Hm? It’s rare to hear you hand out your number.”
“It was more convenient to do so.”
“Sure it was~” she hums absentmindedly. “Was it not convenient for me to have your number? For the longest time I only had your email…” she pouted.
“That was a different matter entirely.”
“Sure, sure~”
Goro huffs, he needs to change the subject soon or else they’ll part with nothing of interest. “So, considering you’ve called me here, there’s a case you need a second viewpoint on?”
“Hm? I can’t casually chat to my little apprentice?”
“You’d contact me far sooner than now if that was the intention.”
She chuckles gently, “you’ve caught me.” Then she relays to him the current case that’s been bugging her, even drawing out the layout of the room on a napkin. “It’s a damn confusing locked room case.”
Goro considers the details, this is him being in his element after all, and speaks about possible loose tiles in the roof as a temporary hiding spot; it fits the circumstances, and he read of it recently in a school novel.
“Interesting, I’ll ask about such a thing later.” She glances at her wristwatch, “ah, I’ve kept you long enough, I should depart soon.” Getting up she pays for the coffees and turns back to Goro once more. “Don’t forget your thanks to that crush of yours~”
“I told you he’s not a crush!”
…And she’s out the door before he could say more. The barista raises a brow at him. “Ignore her,” he replies, deflating into the seat.
“It’s fine,” the barista assures, “it’s not busy enough to complain.”
“I see that. Is Ren out right now?”
The barista shakes his head. “He said he was going to spend most of today sleeping in after he was kept far later at some other part time work than he expected.”
So he works multiple jobs then? Goro wonders why Ren would force himself to do so. “I’ll come back later then.” He leaves, returning back to the apartment for now. He can’t help but wonder whether it was a coincidence or if Ren is purposely meddling with his current situation… and what would Ren be doing to chance upon Izuhara? The possible places fit to answer that simply make no sense in his mind!
…Normally, coming to such a conclusion, he’d be upset; but maybe because it’s Ren, he just isn’t. Or perhaps his mood has simply been foul these past few months and this is less mood-fouling in comparison. One final thought on the matter chimes in that maybe Izuhara is right, and that he is biased towards Ren for more than the acts of kindness he gives to Goro.
But it’s not a crush! Such feelings most certainly wouldn’t be returned in kind.
His phone lights into an annoying noise— oh, someone’s calling him. He answers, “Ren? You’re awake now?”
“Yeah,” he laughs, “sorry you came over only to hear I was still dead tired…”
“No- no, it’s really alright.” Honestly better that he wasn’t there, it would have been too awkward if he was.
Ren falls silent for a minute or so. “Hey, Goro.”
“What is it?”
“Can I, um, come over?”
Goro sits up, glancing around the room… “It's a bit of a mess, are you sure?”
“I think my room is worse,” he says, “I’ll be there in about an hour.” He hangs up.
Goro puts his phone down with a heavy sigh. He should at the very least tidy the entrance and the main room before Ren arrives. He tosses this and that into closets and other hidden corners to give the appearance of cleanliness, he’ll deal with it later when he has the time and energy for it.
Forty minutes pass before there is knocking at the door. He slowly makes his way to the door. Ren is there on the other side, smiling, with his hands full of a couple bags.
“Sorry to have sprung this on you,” he first apologizes as he enters Goro’s place of residence.
“It’s… fine,” it’s not like he was doing anything important. “What’s with the bags?”
“There’s a recipe I wanted to try out but I felt too awkward to ask Sojiro if I could use the kitchen.” He takes out the ingredients from the bag, “oh, also tea, I heard that this type helps with exhaustion or something.”
Ren brews him a cup. It’s warm and only a little bitter but mostly sweet… “Did you put sugar in this?”
“You noticed?”
“It’s hard not to.” He isn’t much of a tea drinker, but this cup tasted better than the cups he’s had in the past.
“Is it to your liking?”
Goro considers it for a moment. “Yeah,” it is good, even if he prefers coffee.
“I’m glad.”
Ren puts down a plate of fine dining for Goro. Slices of beef, rice, and choice vegetables all cooked to perfection. “You spoil me,” he mumbles beneath his breath. Ren must have heard it, he’s smiling too much. “Don’t you have better things to do?”
“I told you, I just wanted to try this recipe out.”
“Bullshit, I didn’t see you check any sort of recipe once!”
“I-” Ren flushes scarlet. “S-sorry…”
“What are you apologizing for?”
“I- um—”
“I told you earlier, it’s fine.”
“Goro- I…” Ren seems to take a moment to decide his words. “I’d like to do this again,” is the thought he settles on.
Goro hesitates to agree. He does like his alone time, especially since he’s going to be busier again, but… then again, these meals are good, and also free.
Also Ren is… cute.
“Sure,” Goro says, “just, tell me in advance.”
“Thank you!” He replies with a smile and a bit more enthusiasm than the situation should have warranted.
… but damn it, his happiness is infectious. “Yeah,” Goro can’t help smiling too. Ren stays a little longer before leaving due to the train schedule.
The door shuts, and silence befalls the room once more. Heaviness settles over Goro’s shoulders, god he misses that boy already. Izuhara’s right. He has a fucking crush on Ren. It’s late now, he should go to bed.
“Shit-” he forgot to thank Ren for talking to Izuhara-san on his behalf. It’s far too late now. Ren is certainly sleeping at this hour. Whatever, this won’t be the last time anyway. He closes his eyes, trying to fall back asleep…
He doesn’t.
…
It’s fine, he may feel ill as hell but at least he has nothing planned for today. And because he’s ill as hell, a certain Raven won’t leave his head. He can’t keep bothering him like this. So he doesn’t. He weakly tosses his phone to the other side of the room to stop himself from even considering it.
With enough effort and the godsend that are blackout curtains, he finally drifts off to sleep.
…
……
“…Goro?”
Is someone calling for him? No, no, he lives alone, that couldn’t possibly be the case. He’s probably just so exhausted that he’s hallucinating voices.
Then something touches his shoulder, hard.
He rolls off the bed in an attempt to get away, tripped up by large heavy covers. The lights are by the doorway unfortunately, and his phone is nowhere in reach. This mystery person seems to exhale in relief.
“Sorry that I woke you up…”
“Wh- Ren?”
“Yeah, that’s me.”
He takes a second to process the situation. “Why— no, how are you here?”
“You left the door unlocked.”
“I what?”
“The door was unlocked, and I was worried.”
“Your intuition is insane then… this building is what? 35 minutes away from Leblanc on perfect transit timing and completed with running?”
Ren changes the subject by making this about Goro: “you look and sound awful.”
“I was rudely awoken not five minutes ago.”
“Right… sorry.”
“…” Ren’s hands are still fiddling with the blankets over his shoulder.
“I just…”
“…Ren?”
“I thought someone broke in and-” he pulls Goro into a hug, trembling.
He drapes the edges of the covers over Ren too. Ren feels so warm. He also smells like coffee.
“Goro…”
He hums, pillowing his head against Ren’s shoulder. Something about Ren makes him want to be vulnerable. “I’m here,” he sleepily assures.
He passes out in Ren’s arms.
Well, it’s not like he meant to do that in the first place! He’s just so warm and… nice. Goro couldn’t help himself.
…
He wakes to the feeling of someone touching him again. “Do you mind?” He mutters, sitting up.
“Ah- sorry!” Ren takes his hands away. “How do you feel?”
“Counterpoint: why are you still here?”
“Because I want to be; you didn’t look too well anyway.
He wants to be here? Goro shakes his head, it’s wishful thinking. “Aren’t you on probation? Go home.”
“Sakura-san said it was fine for one night!”
“I never said you could stay over!” He sighs, emerging from his cocoon of blankets. “Whatever, pay in cooking.”
“Of course,” Ren smiles.
Tonight Ren prepares a warm stew with a side of sliced French bread. He finishes his plate before packing the rest of it away for a later day.
“How is it?” Ren asks, looking hopeful.
“Good,” Goro replies, “but—”
“But?!”
“It could use a little more spice.”
“Eh?!” The Raven looks heartbroken by his suggestion.
“Hey now-”
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t apologize, you can fix that for next time.”
The thought of a next time seems to cheer him right up. It’s cute.
“Thanks Crow!”
“Crow?” Goro echoes.
“Er- well, it’s only fair that you’re Crow if I’m Raven!” Ren’s cheeks redden.
“Right.” Cute- he flushes as the realization sets in. Maybe his feelings towards Ren are requitted? No, it’s far too soon to ask. Maybe after a few more of these sorts of visits he would feel more comfortable with asking such a personal question.
“Goro.”
“What is it?”
“Since it’s only evening… Do you want to go to an arcade?”
“Is that wise?”
“Akihabara isn’t too far away from here…”
“I meant about other Shujin students, but it is indeed unlikely we will come across them there.”
“Yeah.” Ren looks happy.
…
It’s been awhile since he last went to one of these places. Ren is smiling as they move from one machine to another, his arms are full of plushies and knickknacks. All these little things were won with Ren’s skills, because Goro is unfortunately too out of practice.
“Someone looks pleased,” Goro couldn’t help but say.
“Oh, are you not having fun?”
“No it’s not that.”
“Then…” Ren looks around, “oh! How about that one?” He points towards a Featherman claw machine in the window of another arcade. Ren must have noticed him eyeing it earlier. It’s been so long since he had watched the show, he must be several seasons outdated by now.
Goro tries the claw machine a few times. The first time doesn’t even grip the figurine box, the second and third nudged it slightly closer to the goal… and then the fourth attempt got him back to square one. Ren gives him a few pointers from the side, but it doesn’t seem to help at all. Then Ren puts his hand over Goro’s on the machine’s control stick. He’s close like this. Of course Ren wins the figurine like this, but Goro couldn’t even focus on that.
They go home after that. As they’re walking back to the apartment complex from the station, Goro keeps staring at the back of his hand- not gloved for once- and remembering how Ren’s hand felt on his. Even after going inside and setting down their winnings, the sensation doesn’t leave Goro’s mind.
His eyes find Ren, the Raven smiling upon noticing his gaze.
“Hey, how do you feel about sweets?”
“That’s rather out of the blue.” Goro considers the question, “I could do without sweets… Valentine’s Day was always quite traumatic.”
Ren nods as if he understood the feelings. “I see, I see. I’m glad, sweets aren’t my strengths in the kitchen. I only heard at school that you quite enjoyed them.”
He sighs, “in past years I pawned the bags off on Izuhara-san, that is all.”
“Felt too bad to decline them?”
“More like they forced it onto me…”
“Goro…”
“What is it?”
“Um… what do you think of me?”
Goro pauses, what doesn’t he think of Ren?
“Do you find me annoying? Be honest if you do I- I’ll leave if you do.”
“No I- ah- don’t go.”
“Okay!” He’s back to smiling, it’s cute.
“Do you, me? Because so many students and teachers at our school seem to take joy from comparing us.”
“No- nono! I would never! I mean… my friends don’t seem to like just hearing your name but-” he fiddles with his hands, his sleeve, then a tuft of his bangs before sighing. “I don’t have many people that want to associate with me… even at home- er, in my hometown. The Sakuras seem to like my presence enough to tolerate me… enough.”
Ren sits at the table. He’s not smiling anymore. Goro doesn’t know what to do, he was never good at comforting. So he mirrors what Izuhara would do in the same situation: comforting distracting headpats.
Ren leans into it. “Thanks…”
Goro is relieved that such a tactic actually works. “You’ve helped me enough, it’s only fair that I can help you from time to time.”
“Yeah, thanks Goro.”
He keeps petting Ren until another thought dawns on him. “So… what exactly are your sleeping arrangements going to be? I only have one bed.”
“O-oh! Right um…” he thinks long and hard, as he likely didn’t spare a thought before informing his guardian of this sudden plan. “I mean, worst case I’ll just sleep on the floor.”
“Absolutely not.” Ren deserves better than that.
“Ah? Then where…?”
He can’t think of anywhere else that would work other than the only bed… Ren in his bed, he blushes just thinking about it. “If… if you do not mind, then…”
“You’re offering to share the bed?”
“Well the bed is rather large for just me, I’m certain I won’t even notice if you’re also on it.” It’s definitely a lie, Goro won’t be able to forget that Ren is sleeping in the same bed at the same time.
“I’ll take you up on that, thanks.”
“Yeah, next time, try not to forget.”
Ren laughs, “I’ll try for next time.”
Tonight was the easiest he’s ever fallen asleep. His raven is a comforting presence… somewhere on the bed. It is rather large, he realizes now, because there’s a second person on it. He only said that as an excuse but, he’s a bit disappointed to say the least.
…
Then he wakes, comfortably warm as he’s tangled between limbs and covers. His head seems to be settled against Ren’s chest, listening to the rhythm of the boy’s heartbeat. It spikes here and there, hastens then calms in matters of (probably) tens of minutes.
“Crow?” Ren whispers.
He quickly pulls himself off of Ren’s chest. “I- uh- didn’t know you were awake!”
“N-no it- it was f-fine- ah…” Redness reaches as low as the base of Ren’s neck. “I didn’t mean to startle you…”
“No, you didn’t—”
“I‘ll go get started on breakfast!” Ren leaves the room before Goro could have possibly sorted out the earlier situation.
So he sits there. Letting the time pass as he hears the clinking of pots and pans. His eyes flick over to a distant mirror, one that he’s been meaning to get rid of since it was left over from whoever last had this apartment… years ago. In his reflection, cheeks remain flushed pink. He should at least put that somewhere else, he despises looking at himself first thing in the morning- well, it was the second thing today, and not at all did he peer at his dreadful self yesterday.
“Goro?” Ren pokes his head through the doorway. “Food is plated.”
He nods, finally rising from the bed. That damned mirror will have to wait more.
“I, um, hope I didn’t overstep, about yesterday…”
“No, you- you’re fine.” Goro looks up at Ren. “Really.” Another pause as he sits at the table, mumbling, “It was nice.” Just as this meal is; and he rarely eats so early in the day.
“Goro, please come by the café, and um stay over, just to make it even.” He places another cup of tea (with sugar) within Goro’s reach.
“Yeah, I’ll do that.” Even if it will never truly be even due to all of the kindness Ren had already shown him. “Thanks.”
He smiles, “of course!”
“Ren- um—”
“Hm?”
“You seem to be in a hurry.”
Ren’s eyes evade him after that statement.
“What’s troubling you?”
“No, no, it’s a few part time jobs.”
“A few?” Goro raises an eyebrow.
“Y-yeah, just in case, you know?”
“What are you so worried about?”
“Um, well…” He looks nervous, twirling his bangs between his fingers. “I don’t…” he quiets, mumbling something beneath his breath. Then tears fall.
“Ren?”
“I, I-” he takes off his glasses to fruitlessly wipe away his tears with his hands.
Goro rises from his seat. He doesn’t have a handkerchief to give this time. With the quickest of judgements, he’s made his decision.
“Breathe.” Goro says firmly.
“Goro-”
“Catch your breath before you speak.”
Ren nods, taking a moment to compose himself. “…Thanks.”
“It’s the least I could do, Ren. What’s wrong?”
It’s slow, but Ren slowly lets loose a worry that seemed to have plagued him since he was thrown into Tokyo. About how easily it’d be for ‘them’ to toss him anywhere else. How he was trying to scrounge enough money to either get his own place or to please enough to stay until he could fulfill the first option and not be a burden on either the Sakuras or those of his hometown… or Goro too. Goro holds his tongue, he no longer considered Ren a burden the day the Raven had helped him.
“If such a thing becomes reality, come back here. I’ll be waiting.”
“A- Are you sure, but I-”
“I’m certain, Raven.”
Ren rests his head over Goro’s shoulder. “Thanks, Crow.”
“Now shouldn’t you leave before I’ve rendered you late for whatever commitment you’ve made?”
“Ah- yes! Sorry again!”
“It’s no trouble at all.”
Ren rushed out the door. Just like that, he’s gone again. Maybe it’s bad to consider misfortune befalling his dear Raven, but… living with him is a tad too enticing to not to even think about it. He glances down at what remains of last night’s outing, at the Feather Black plush that is poking its head out of the bag. He puts it up on the counter for now, folding away the bag. The doll looks so out of place, but maybe it’s because it has nothing else to fit with.
He’ll go out to get the doll a fitting friend, he decides. Relying on his vague memory of the show from when he watched it as a child, Red and Black often had these secret escapades together from the various OVAs of the early seasons. So he sets out to the same arcade as last night to obtain a Feather Red for his Feather Black.
The claw machine is still far more difficult than he thinks. Though, with enough time, money, and pity from the staff, he wins it. On his way back, he runs into Izuhara.
He totally sneaks up on her. “On your way from the scene?”
“Ah-! Kid? Is it really that obvious?”
“This one must really be difficult, your hair is—”
“Quiet you.” Izuhara sighs, leaning against a nearby pillar. “While your suggestion last time had furthered it-” she sighs, “it’s a lot more than what I first thought this case would be.”
“You say that for every case.” Goro points out.
“I know, I know. But I did run into that little…” she thinks for a moment. “Knowing you, you must be calling him Raven.”
Goro flushes.
“Ah, so I’m right.” She chuckles to herself. “He works at many places, I can’t seem to stop seeing him everywhere. Maybe I’ll ask him to also be my assistant; you’d like that too, wouldn’t you?”
As much as she’s right, he knows Ren wouldn’t want to… ‘intrude’ as he’d likely put it. “He’d decline you.”
“Oh, that’s a shame.” She glances down at her watch, “I’ll still pose the question to him, he may just surprise you after all.”
He still doubts that Ren would follow along for more than a few days if he even does accept in the first place.
“You seem to be…” she looks him up and down, “busy? Today.”
“Hardly.” He shifts the doll in his arms. “Just a bit of home decor.”
“Oh? I never took you for a feather-head.”
“Used to be,” he corrects. “I’m a bit behind on it.”
“I see.” She, annoyingly, pats his head- as if he wasn’t an adult! “I’ll reach out at a later date. Take care of yourself, kid. Or let that little Raven help out,” she winks, leaving for the next train.
“Wh- hey!” He doesn’t give chase because he knows it’s useless. It’s fine, they’ll speak again another day, and that isn’t even his train.
He goes home. There was nothing else he had set out to do today. He sits the red plush beside the black one. Hm… it still looks a bit out of place. Well, they are plushies, maybe the counter isn’t so fitting. He sets them onto the bed, placing them on the side that Ren had occupied last night.
Got him a friend:
He texted Ren, who replies quicker than he’d have expected.
Cute!
Sakura-chan is super into the series so, if you’d like, you could come over for a sort-of-movie night.
I’ve plenty to catch up on myself…
I haven’t delved into it whatsoever.
Well.
Apart from a couple old games of it.
I see.
Let’s arrange a time later.
Are you on a break right now?
Headed to the next one, actually.
Ah, good luck then.
Yeah, talk to you later.
Seeing how late in the day it is, that one should surely be his last for today. He puts aside his phone. He should “take care of himself” like Izuhara said, and Ren will likely ask once he’s done with that final shift. He reheats a bowl of yesterday’s stew, glancing around the room again. It is really empty, but he doesn’t know how to fill it- nay, how to personalize it, even if it’s his own place. He’s only gone up to Ren’s room once, and while it was a disorganized disaster, it still felt like it was Ren’s, and not just a messy room. Here, he has a clean (enough) place, but that’s all it is.
Breaking away from the thought, he pulls himself into the bath- he hasn’t had time in a while to do one of these. His phone is nearby, in case he loses track of time, sitting on the bench within reach.
He exists, feeling warm. Not warm enough, but warm nonetheless. He closes his eyes, pretending the weight of water was someone else. Pretending the warmth of the water and steam was from another.
Damn it… how long will be long enough before he should ask? He can’t keep living like this. His attempts to convince himself of when are interrupted by a call. It’s Ren’s number.
He answers it. “Is work done already?”
“‘Already’ is a bit of an overstatement, it’s been a few hours from start to finish.”
“Oh-” he didn’t realize so long had passed.
“Are you in the bath? I hear running water.”
Goro hums. “Are you heading home then?”
“I will, granted that I actually can stuff myself into the train.”
“Is it so busy?”
“Well… you know Shinjuku…”
Goro sits up, the mic probably catches the sloshing water. “What are you doing in Shinjuku?!”
“Nothing scandalous, really! Just basic work. That detective lady stopped by too.”
“Izuhara-san,” Goro corrects. “Did she ask you anything?”
“Yes she did… I didn’t answer though because I was still working.”
“If I may, what exactly did she ask you?”
Ren quiets, suspiciously. “I-” Goro can hear the bustle of people quiet on the other side of the line. Ren must be moving somewhere more secluded. “Sh- she asked two things…”
Two? He didn’t expect that, though maybe one was pertaining to an investigation… or something else.
“I- I mean, if you don’t mind then I’d like to help too… that’s the one I had an answer to. The other, I’m not so sure…?”
“I see, can you get home? I take it that you’ve missed the train.”
“Yeah, I’ll just call a cab.”
“Okay, text me when you get back.”
“Mn.” With that, the line disconnects.
Ren does text back after enough time. Replying back, Goro finally makes up his mind that he’ll pose the question within the week before school starts for the next trimester. If Ren disagrees… then he’s sure they could remain friendly during the remainder of the year… right?
—
Izuhara had invited him out for dinner to discuss details of a new case. He slowly drags himself from the heavy covers. ‘Take care of yourself’… yeah right. He looks a mess right now. Ren can only do so much, and he’s been busy with work and his other friends bothering him, and Goro hasn’t seen him in weeks!
Goro glares at his reflection in the mirror at the foot of the bed. Eye bags deeper than the ocean and darker than the void of night, it’s nothing copious amounts of cosmetics can’t fix. He hasn’t been outside in a few days. A few days! At least it’s only dinner and the sun isn’t going to beat down on him. After hours of scrutiny, he looks… decent. Hopefully it’s enough to not be questioned about it.
The diner isn’t as fancy as the ones she’s taken him to in the past. Izuhara notices his approach, she’s smiling.
“Early as always, kid.”
He nods. He always made it a habit to show up ten minutes before the agreed time.
“We’re still waiting for another today.”
“You got a second apprentice?”
“Shouldn’t you know who it is? I thought the two of you chatted often?”
“…Ren’s been busy,” he mutters. She pats his head. He doesn’t even try to stop her.
“Oh wow, someone’s depressed.” She needlessly points out. “You know I’m not a good detective of the heart, yes?”
Goro hummed quietly, still beneath her hand.
“Come, let’s head in, I’m sure your little Raven won’t mind if we start without him.”
He follows after her. The two of them are seated in a quiet corner of the restaurant, away from the bar and bustle of the other customers.
“Goro, look at me.” He does. “Your makeup is thicker than normal, are you hiding something?”
“It’s…”
She takes something out from her purse. It’s a makeup wipe. “Use it.”
“I’d rather not.”
“I see. It’s worse than I thought. The Raven is just as calculating as you or I, he’ll certainly know why you hide yourself from the outside.”
“Izu—”
“Sorry I’m late!” It’s Ren, out of breath. “Another job ran rather late…”
“Ah I assumed as much Ren-kun.” She does not shift over, so Goro does, letting Ren sit beside him. “Have you gathered anything useful from your work?”
“A date and time, nothing more without appearing suspicious.” Ren looks even more in his element than Goro ever did.
“Hm, Goro-kun, what do you think of it?”
“I- don’t know enough.” He answered. He feels more out of depth now. “I need more information.” It’s hard to keep his voice still.
“I see,” she frowns. Of course she does, he’s got nothing to add. “You two need some time, I've heard? I’ll return in a bit, please order without me.”
She leaves. She just—?!
“So, um… been a bit.” Ren starts.
“So it has.”
“I- I’m so sorry! I meant to make time but things happened and—”
“It’s fine.” It’s not fine. Goro is furious. But he can hide away the childish feelings. “You have goals.”
“That’s not-”
Ren looks up at him for the first time that night. His eyes dilated, whether concerned or horrified, Goro couldn’t care to tell a difference.
“Goro- what- what happened?”
“Nothing at all.” He bites his tongue, he knows better than to fuck up what they have twice.
“There is something then!”
Goro winces. “It’s not your fault!” He counters, voice rising.
Silence, then a quiet “I’m sorry.”
“What are you apologizing for?”
“You’ve done so much for me so I—”
“That’s enough.” They both look up, seeing Izuhara had returned from whatever she left to do. “I come back to see the two of you fighting, and not even with a single plate of food!” She moves to hail a waiter, “it seems I must order for you both!”
She does, gathering a large platter of appetizers for the three of them. Just like old times. She’s no ‘detective of the heart’ as she puts it, but often uses food to soften recent arguments. She is, in a way, a second mother figure after his real mother. It’s not often that the life of a small child is woven into one of her cases, but that was the situation for Goro. It’s part of the reason why he wanted to be a detective himself, but… maybe he just isn’t cut out for this.
“Kid,” Izuhara reaches across the table to pat his head. “Hey,” her voice is softened. “Come on, you’re no child anymore.”
“I- I’ll, um, leave—” Ren says, but Goro grasps the edge of his sleeve before he can flee.
“Stay.” Goro weakly demands. His hand is shaking as he tries to keep a grip on Ren’s arm. His eyes sting, maybe it’s the layering of makeup, maybe it’s the feelings of inadequacies.
Arms wrap around his body. “Crow…”
Izuhara’s hand leaves his head once Goro has centered himself once more. “I was hoping that tonight would be a happier dinner…” she grumbled.
“… sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, kid.”
Ren parts from the half-hug that was going on, but holds Goro’s right hand instead, as if to convey that he’s still there. They eat in silence, a very awkward silence. Izuhara eventually breaks the silence with more details about the case, which gives Goro enough to interject with possible motives and what they may do next. It stops the silence from creeping back in again. Ren never releases his hand throughout the remainder of the dinner.
When they part for the night, Ren promises him that he’ll stop by his apartment tomorrow morning. He nods, leaving for the train, looking forward to tomorrow. It has been too long since he had a whole day with his Raven.
—
The very next day, Ren was there just as he said he would be. Though it’s far too early for Goro to do more than let him in and cling to his presence. Ren takes it well, because of course he does.
“Too early?” Ren’s voice is soft and quiet. “I brought coffee from Leblanc.”
“Mmn.” Goro would like coffee, but also… Ren is comfy…
“Hm.”
Ren picked him up. What. When did he find the strength, or is Goro just that weightless? No matter, Ren is even closer like this.
“What are you going to do when you graduate?” Ren asks quietly, “or when I go home?”
That doesn’t matter right now. “You better visit.” He replied in kind.
Ren considers his answer with a hum. “Maybe you should visit me? You’d have graduated by then, Goro.”
That is true, but Ren has not once mentioned where his hometown is. Ren still doesn’t tell him where but instead sets them both down on the nearby couch.
It takes maybe a half hour before Goro finally gets over himself to detach and accept the earlier offered coffee. It’s warm and a little sweet, and it wakes him up enough to be functional.
“What shall we do today?”
“I thought you had a plan?”
“Hmm…” Ren thinks for a moment. “Beyond the usual food, it’s up to you.”
“Ah? What have you planned to make today?”
Ren looks him straight in the eye and grins. “It’s a secret~!”
Oh so he’s going to play it that way. “I see, better be good then.”
“Have you any doubts?” Ren replies in jest.
“None,” he pats his Raven’s head, “just yet.”
“Wha?!” He reacts just like a puppy, cute. “Goro…”
“There, there.”
Ren glances up, “oh, we could watch something.” Goro always forgets that he has a TV, it was another thing that the people who stayed in the apartment before him had left.
“Ah, did that Sakura have you watch anything?”
“From earlier? No, I still haven’t watched anything of the Featherman series.”
So that’s what they do throughout the daytime until noon rolls around. They got through roughly two thirds of the very first season of the earliest series. Ren gets up to make a suitable lunch, Goro asks how he’s enjoying the series, since this exact group is what he grew up on. Ren answers with non-committal, but he seems to be enjoying it enough to not object to more.
Ren returns with onigiri. Big talk for something so simple. Goro is content with the way the day has progressed thus far, and lets it continue as it is: watching featherman with Ren.
“Hm… do you think there is a Feather Raven and Feather Crow?” Ren asks once the first season ends.
Goro looks it up, he doesn’t know if he’d be disappointed if there was. “It seems not,” he notes with surprise. Ravens and Crows aren’t uncommon, but maybe they aren’t as popular as, well, the Falcon and Eagle dolls in the other room.
Ren smiles in response to that. “Perfect!”
“‘Perfect’?” He echoes, confused.
“Then we can be the first!”
Goro stares at him. “What?” He asks quietly, “what do you mean?”
“Ah-” Ren flushes red. “Sorry, we- we’re in high school now, I shouldn’t suggest something so childish…”
It’s not childish! He wants to say, but… it sort of is. “No, it’s nice, actually.” He replies instead, a softer version of what he wanted to say.
Ren nods, relieved.
“Want to continue watching?”
“S-sure.”
…
It’s pretty far into the evening before they hit a good stopping point- such is the issue with a show like this that certainly enjoys its cliffhangers. He debated whether to continue watching but Ren, who had been leaning on his shoulder as they were watching, had fallen asleep. Come to think of it, he has looked rather exhausted since this morning. Goro will let him rest.
He grabs a nearby pillow, putting it down on his lap before shifting Ren from his shoulder onto his lap. That should be more comfortable for him. And, well… Goro doesn’t hate it.
He’s cute. Too cute. Damn it… Where should he put his hands? It’s odd to relax them over Ren, this is more what friends do after all… and, are they friends? They haven’t put a name to what they are yet. Maybe he’s getting ahead of himself. They’ve only known each other for about four months, and even then ‘known’ is a bit of a stretch.
Then again, mere acquaintances don’t sleep in the same bed; even if it was just once. Or hug nearly as often as they had. Maybe he’s thinking too much about it. Or maybe not enough. He gently tugs off the glasses that sit on Ren’s face. Are these… false? The lenses don’t distort the furniture on the other side whatsoever. Why does he wear them? Goro sighs, folding them up and putting them aside. Ren will tell him at some point, won’t he?
Er… his bangs are in his eyes now. Goro gently brushes aside the tuft of hair. Ren is thankfully still asleep on his lap. His Raven looks so at peace like this. Goro hesitates to move at all, anything could possibly wake Ren. Even still, Goro can’t entirely resist the urge to pet him.
“… Goro?”
Urk- “a-ah, you’re awake…”
“Mmn.” Ren slowly sits up, “sorry, guess I feel asleep.”
“N-no, it’s fine.” He returns the glasses.
“Thanks.” Ren puts them back on quickly. “And um, I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I promise!”
“It’s fine, really. All you missed was filler, so it’s fine.”
“U-um… it’s evening now, right? I’ll get started on dinner.”
Ren gets up, almost as if he was running away. “W-wait, let me help today!”
He pauses, “uh s-sure…”
Ren delegates cutting vegetables to him, well it’s the least consequential thing if he messes up. Goro watches Ren as he cooks the dish. It’s curry tonight. It smells like Leblanc’s recipe. He’s getting distracted, watching Ren more than watching what Ren’s doing.
“Goro…” Ren sighs, “please sit at the table.” Ah- he’s in the way isn’t he?
“Yeah, of course.” He tries his best to continue watching from the table, though it quickly devolves into just watching Ren go back and forth from the stove to the counter. Soon enough, Ren returns with two plates of curry and rice. It’s good as always. Goro wishes he could have Ren cook like this every day.
Though, of course, that’s unlikely.
They eat in a comfortable silence. Goro cleans up the dishes when they finish eating, it’s only fair since Ren cooked. Ren bids Goro goodnight and leaves, promising to contact him when he reaches home. And Ren does, after the world’s slowest forty minutes. Not that Goro is worried about Ren but… he wouldn’t know what he’d do if Ren got involved in some sort of incident.
I’m home now.
Crow, come by Leblanc tomorrow if you’re feeling up to it. It doesn’t have to be early, just sometime before the evening if you can.
Ah.
Um, sure.
Rest comes at a snail’s pace. He only hopes that it won’t get in the way of tomorrow’s plan. It’s only a few hours and he misses his Raven already.
…
Today marks exactly a week before school starts up again. And with today being the only definite day with Ren, today is also the day to pose the question. Except…
He has no idea how he should even go about doing that.
Television shows and novels aren’t necessarily the best representation to follow for this sort of subject. He can’t exactly nonchalantly say “I like you” with effortless ease, that isn’t him as much as it is the prince that people sure enjoy depicting him as. No matter, surely he’ll gather the courage to come out with it during the… date? The hangout? Whatever this is.
The train ride seems never ending with how far away Yongen-Jaya is from his apartment. Soon enough, he’s there, standing in front of the café, hand on the door…
This will be fine, he tells himself, pushing forward and letting the bell announce his presence. He glances around, there are two people on the café floor but neither of them are Ren. “Is Ren awake?”
He feels a glare from the girl with long orange hair, but the barista behind the counter answers. “Ah, he’s getting ready, being really particular about his appearance today.”
“I see.” He takes a seat by the counter, watching the stairs for his Raven. That girl is still glaring at him… what on earth did he do to gain this person’s ire?
It’s a few minutes before Ren rushes down the stairs. “Sorry, sorry! You weren’t waiting long I hope?”
“Only a few minutes.”
Ren smiles, “good.” He takes Goro’s hand, heading for the train station.
“Where are we headed today?” Goro asks, only a little distracted that they’re still holding hands! He partially wishes that he should have conveniently forgotten his gloves today.
Ren hums, joyful as always. “A few places in Kichijoji: darts, a café, and maybe some karaoke if you feel up to it.”
“Ah, please don’t have me stop you from having a good time.” After all, that’d ruin his chances at asking the question that he’s still convincing himself that he even should.
“No of course not! I’m just… worried about you.”
“Courtesy of Izuhara?”
“No- you look like you haven’t slept in months!”
“I’m quite certain I’ve slept through the night.” Well, mostly. He was looking forward to today much more than his mind was willing to still for.
“Okay, tell me if you want a break though!”
“You make it sound like it’ll be busy all day—!” Before he could finish, Ren dashes, pulling the two of them to the train. They manage to make it just before the doors would have shut them out. “Warn me damn it!” He hissed quietly.
“Sorry, the train after would be a bit of a wait.”
The train is full… too full. Maybe they should have waited for the next one. Then again, because they’re crammed in so tightly, squishing against Ren like this isn’t the worst. He smells of fabric softener and a light spritz of floral perfume. The ride is better like this. Ren holds him close so as to make sure the shifting crowds don’t separate them.
Too soon does the train arrive at Kichijoji’s station. He lets Ren lead the way as they weave between the various swarms of people. It’s warm outside. The news said it was a heat wave. One that was especially bad today.
“Goro?”
Ah. When did they stop moving? He glances around, they’re sitting at a café’s table, shaded by an umbrella.
“I’m afraid the inside is packed with people, so no AC for us unfortunately…”
“That’s alright.”
“How are you holding up? Since the sun is sort of at its peak right now.”
“Ren I—”
“I’ll order a couple waters, sounds good?”
“… sure.”
He watches Ren get up and leave. Was the heat that close to knocking him out? Ren easily returns with the iced drinks. “You really should hydrate sometimes Crow, black birds like us easily fall prey to the heat after all.” He passes the drink.
It’s water, he has nothing more to comment on it. He drinks it without complaint since Ren bought it for him.
“Penguin Snipers shouldn’t be too far from here… but take your time!”
“You worry too much.”
After a few minutes longer of assuring Ren that he is fine, they change locations to the dart and pool place. Penguin Snipers, he called it? Interesting. Ren reserves one of the dart boards, they only get one game because of how busy it is, but Ren asks for a simple game of 701 darts when Goro has nary picked up this sort of game in the past. He glances around at the other people playing on either side, they all have a sort of stance as they throw, as well as an intense focus. Goro can try to imitate it.
And Ren… Ren looks immaculate as he lands three bullseyes with ease. He… he’s supposed to match that?! Goro steps up to the line, standing in a roughly similar stance as everyone else seems to use. His hand is shaking as it holds onto the dart. He can’t aim like this! He just can’t! He’ll lose damn it!—
Ren pats his shoulder. “Breathe.” It breaks him free from the earlier thoughts. He refocuses on the game, on his aim and his throw.
It’s a bullseye.
Then another.
And another.
Three bullseyes, just as Ren had done. Wh- what the hell, that was certainly a fluke, there’s no way!
“Yay!” Ren cheered for Goro’s success. Then immediately proceeds to get three more bullseyes… is… is it even possible to win if he fucks it up whatsoever? 251 remains on the screen. He could get it down to 101 points if he manages another three bullseyes.
201 points remain after the first throw.
151 after the second.
…shit.
He stares at the screen in horror. 150 points remain.
“Aw, so close!” Ren comforts him, what a saint. “Don’t worry! A win is still in reach!”
Triple twenty, triple twenty, and a triple ten… “show off…”
“Hey, hey, we won did we not?”
Ren is radiating happiness again. It’s infectious. “Yeah.”
They leave because it’s really busy today. Ren brings him to another café- a different one than earlier, and to an inside seat at that. The air smells sweet, he’s pretty sure this place is niche-ly known for its pastries and other baked goods. A waitress stops by, passing them menus. They order; coffee, iced water, and a tiramisu.
Goro raises a brow when the waitress leaves. “A tiramisu? Really?”
“I wanted to maybe split one? Since I’m not sure how large it is.”
Ah, cute. Though… he can see the Raven eye all the other, sweeter, desserts too. Is he keeping Goro’s tastes in mind when he offers to split? That’s certainly like him.
Soon enough, the items arrive. They dine slowly, chatting about this and that. The dessert has just the right amount of sweetness. It’s nice, Ren has a good eye for these things.
With their cup, glass, and plate finished, they glance at the time.
“Oh. It’s later than I thought,” Ren admits.
“Is it now? Doesn’t karaoke run deep into the night anyway?”
“Hmm… I think that we should go back to Yongen-Jaya instead.”
“Ah?”
“You don’t seem the singing type anyway.”
“Mmm.” He’s right… probably.
“There’s a little bath house by the café. We’ll go there instead.” Ren gets up to pay, Goro follows behind him. “And you can stay the night too, if you want.”
“That’d… be nice.”
“It’s only fair since you’ve let me stay over at your place.”
The train back is full again, though the evening rush may be a blessing for Goro since he is practically pushing against Ren again. Ren is looking a little tired again, their change in plans may be for the best. Goro pulls his arm so that Ren may lean on him until they arrive.
It’s still warm outside in the open air, even if it’s almost entirely dark. A drop of water hits the top of his head, one that is refreshingly cold.
Ren holds his hand up to the sky. “It’s raining!”
“Someone looks excited.”
“I find that it means that the bathhouse will be emptier, it’s lucky!” Ren is all smiles, the new rain clings to him as he seems to embrace the change in weather.
“Alright, alright, let’s hurry before the rainfall quickens.” Rain isn’t his favourite thing, but Ren looks happy enough for the both of them.
He’s right. The place is empty. “And you’re certain no one else enters?”
“Yeah, no one wants to go out in the rain.”
And so it’s just the two of them sitting side by side in the warmth of steam and gentle heat of water. Also naked, but Goro will try his best not to dwell on it. Now is the time to bring up that question.
But… does he deserve it?
Does he deserve Ren?
“Thanks,” says Ren, “for today.”
“What for, I’ve done nothing at all besides following your lead.”
“That’s not true, I’m happy enough to be in your company.”
“Flattery? Cute.”
He glances over at Ren, the Raven’s cheeks colouring a slight pink.
“Is it too warm for you?”
“No, no, I’m fine.”
“I see, tell me if you overheat, I can last quite a while here.”
“You too, Goro.”
They fall into a silence, listening to the running water close by. Then Ren starts the conversation up again with:
“So, um, do you like anyone?”
“In what way?”
“J- just in general, like… what’s your type ‘n all…”
“Ah-” he looks down at the water’s reflection… how does he say that it includes the one beside him. “What’s your’s?” Ren’s cheeks grow warmer.
“I asked first!”
“The asker should answer first.”
“Mean!”
“Mhm, still waiting.”
“Fine, we’ll say it at the same time.”
“On three?”
“Yeah. One,”
Does he say it directly?
“Two,”
What will Ren do when he learns?
“Thr—?!”
He kisses Ren.
“O-oh,”
Goro thinks this is the reddest he’s ever seen Ren turn.
“Ah…” then quietly, “s- same.”
Ren returns the kiss.
“I’m relieved.”
“Are you now?”
“You seem the same as me, Goro.” Ren pillows his cheek against Goro’s shoulder.
“Why me?” He asks. “Why not anyone else?”
“I dunno,” Ren replies without much thought. “Call it fate.”
“Fate’s bullshit.”
“Hmm… then it’s because I feel safe in your presence.”
“And not with your other friends?”
“Is someone jealous? No, it’s not the same. I feel they have limits, but you’d stop at nothing.”
“That’s a lie.”
“… you’re right. I’m afraid that you probably couldn’t live without me; and this sort of companionship could never remain platonic.”
“The truth hurts, Raven.” Goro responds playfully.
“You wouldn’t accept the lighter truth, Crow.” Ren’s arms reach around Goro’s body. “And… I’m happy it’s you.”
Goro laughs at that. “As am I.”
They silently exist together for what feels like a short half hour.
“Ren?” He glances down at the Raven on his shoulder. His eyes are closed, he’s flushed a deep crimson, and he’s (thankfully) breathing but still motionless. “Ren?! Hey! Wake up!” Nothing- this idiot!
Goro pulls him up from the water, what was that about black birds and heat? If it’s still raining outside, that should cool him down enough to wake up again. Damn- Ren is heavy! Or maybe Goro’s gotten weak. He puts Ren down in the changing room, draping a dry towel over his body before searching for a cold wet cloth. There’s a small part of him that is glad that the place is empty as he puts down a couple cold towels on Ren.
It’s a few minutes before he sees Ren blink awake. “Back with me?”
“D-did I fall asleep?”
“Yes. You did.”
“Ah, sorry.” He sits up, catching the towelette that flops off his forehead. “Your presence is dangerous,” Ren says jokingly, or Goro hopes he’s joking anyway.
“If you’re feeling more awake now, go get dressed.”
He goes to wait outside the bathhouse for Ren to emerge. Glancing at the time, it’s been far longer than the maybe hour that he had initially assumed had elapsed in that place. Well, his grip on time is never to be trusted anyway so it doesn’t surprise Goro nearly as much as it probably should. Ren announces his presence by taking Goro’s hand. “My place?” He suggests as if it isn’t across the way.
“Did I not agree to that earlier?”
“True.” Ren hums, unlocking the café door. It’s late enough that the barista guy that seems to run the place had closed for the night. “Is sharing a smaller bed alright or should I take the couch tonight?”
“Whatever you want, it’s your room.”
The bell announces their entry, Goro moves upstairs while Ren stays back a little longer to lock the door again. The bed… is really bad. How does Ren sleep on this every day?! Ren settles beside him, pulling a thin bedsheet over the two of them. Lying side by side like this… Goro finds it a bit hard to believe this is his reality now.
Rest will come easily tonight too, now intertwined with Ren like this. Him and Ren are companions now. Black birds of a feather. Ren fell asleep so soon… though the day was quite busy. Goro can’t help but be a little concerned after what happened in the bathhouse, how reckless.
Goro reaches out to Ren.
“I’m happy it’s you.”
The thought plays and replays in his mind. Ren was flushed but smiling. And he kissed him— kissed him! And they’re sleeping in the same bed!
And it’ll be more often of an occurrence soon enough.
Through fate or by pure coincidence, Ren pulls Goro closer to his chest. It’s nice, it’s comfortable, and he can only feel Ren, cloaked in this darkness. Eased by the rhythm of his heart, he drifts to sleep.