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The San Francisco Alligators were up 4-2 when Jean finally opened the mail that had been piling up on their counter. It had been a few weeks, both Cat and him just trying to get through the last few weeks before the beginning of the semester. Practice was ramping up for the beginning of the year, and they were both distracting themselves from the absence of their two people. He carefully sorted through the papers, separating junk first, then splitting it to recipients. A cheer from the TV startled him out of his concentration and he watched as Jeremy was piled on, another point scored. He felt himself smiling but turned it to a frown as his eyes tracked the camera’s replay.
Jeremy had taken a hit earlier in the game that had begun to bleed, and the sight of blood running down the side of his face made Jean clench his fist. He grabbed his phone to chastise Jeremy for not letting the nurse attend to him, but as he shifted, a light blue card stock fell off his lap.
Jean had to scrutinize the font for a little bit before he dropped it in shock. He gave the piece of paper a scornful look, unbelieving and trying to push down that glimmer of something that always appeared in his gut when thinking about his coach’s partnership. A sudden clatter at the front door was a welcome excuse as Cat arrived with an exhausted Jab. His claws made the familiar clacking noise as the dog shot first towards Jean to receive a pet, which he obliged, before running over to his water bowl and drinking.
“Oh, what’s this?” Cat asked as she sat down on the couch next to Jean, taking a few drinks of water herself. She reached over and grabbed the invitation, and Jean shrugged. She read it quietly, before giving him a knowing look.
“Jeremy will be going.” She said, pointedly.
“Laila will be going,” he shot back, but she just smiled a little wistfully.
“I know. It’s been too long since we’ve had anything this big to celebrate.”
Laila had joined the Oregon Beavers, and he knew both Laila and Cat were struggling with the distance. He was reminded of the game when the buzzing of the end of the period came out of the speakers, and Jean looked to see that the Alligators had kept their lead and won with 6-2. Cat watched the screen for a moment, before squeezing Jean’s shoulder,
“Tell our boy good game. I’m gonna go call Laila. Don’t wait up.” She winked and left him with the Exy commentators and an exhausted Jab. He had curled up in the dog bed at the end of the couch, with his Beaver toy that Jeremy had given him. He pulled his phone out, and finding Jeremy’s name easily, his thumb wavered for a second.
Making the decision, he lifted the phone to his ear and waited through the ringing. Jeremy picked up on the last ring, For a second, the noise reverberating was too loud, and Jean had to pull the phone away with a wince.
“Sorry, sorry, hey Jean, what’s up?” Jeremy’s tinny voice came through the speaker, and it was so fond that Jean forgot the point of his call.
“You faltered on your backhand shot in the first half. Are you okay? I saw you were hit. Coach and …Adi are getting married and we are all invited.” Jean shot out, conscious and careful of how little time Jeremy had alone before going back to the team.
“I know I did; I am, it was just the inside of my helmet cutting into my skin at the wrong angle, and that’ll be so exciting!” Jeremy answered back, his breath panting and Jean had to clench his fit to stop imagining other scenarios that involve heavy breathing.
A muffled voice from Jeremy’s end called something out, and Jeremy sighed, just a little.
“I gotta head out, back to the team, but I’ll be coming down this weekend to see…” his voice cut out, and then back in. “…Bye, Jean.”
“Bye, Jeremy.” He said and then heard the click of Jeremy’s phone shutting. Jean ran his fingers over the wedding invite and decided to call Renee.
The day of the wedding came surprisingly quickly, and Jeremy was hurriedly shoving his bag and one of his new suits into the backseat of his car. He was only running a few minutes behind, and he blamed it entirely on the photo of Jean and Cat that had been sent to him by Laila this morning, of Cat putting on eyeliner onto a slightly pouty Jean. They were both in robes, and Jeremy had spent an unmentionable number of seconds following the trail of smooth skin that was exposed by the V-neck. He was chomping at the bit to see Jean again, their last weekend having been cut short with an unfortunate call from his agent about some PR stuff he had to deal with. His step-father, now even more of stranger than he was growing up, had been campaigning on Prop 8.
His drive was uneventful, but long, and by the time Jeremy pulled into the apartment parking, he was a mix of anticipation and giddiness. When he got to the door, it opened to a Jean, tie just hanging open on his blue shirt. Jeremy stared, maybe too unabashedly, as Jean’s cheeks went a little red. His eyes were lightly lined, somehow making his eyes even more intense. Jab ran into Jeremy’s shins at the exact moment an exasperated Laila went,
“Jab, no, wait!” as the dog, a pair of tights in his mouth and a crooked bow tie on his neck. Jeremy immediately scooped the dog up, and Jean extricated the tights from the excited dog’s mouth, and as soon as the fabric was free, albeit with a few more holes, Jab licked Jeremy’s face.
Laila appeared, and frowned at the tights, but her eyes brightened at Jeremy at the door.
“Hey, you.” She leaned over the entryway and gently tweaked his hair before hugging him. Jean grumbled something in French, too quiet for Jeremy to understand, and took a wiggling Jab and went back into their home. They both followed, before a frustrated Cat called out for Laila’s help. Jean placed Jab back on the couch, and staring at him with a stern,
“Reste, Jab,”
Jeremy couldn’t resist sitting there with the dog, even though he needed to get dressed soon if they wanted to be on time. Jean’s eyes went to his, but before he could say anything, a bundle of clothes were unceremoniously dumped on him.
“Get dressed, we have to leave in five.” Laila said, her hands on her hips, waiting as he piled his clothes carefully on his arm, and going off to the small closet that technically was his room, although even when he visited, he rarely slept there. He waited for Laila to have disappeared down the hall to her room, before dumping his clothes and turning back to find Jean already there. Jean gave him just the beginnings of a small smile, and Jeremy couldn’t resist bouncing on his toes, waiting for Jean to lean down. He did, but only a light brush of his lips before retreating and pushing Jeremy back into the room to get changed.
‘Later,’ Jean mouthed, and Jeremy smiled, wide and bright, throwing Jean a wink and a “Promise?” before he shuts the door on the devout look on Jean’s face.
His suit was in a black and grey chevron pattern, and he had a blue tie to match Jean’s dress shirt. Jeremy tried not to think about that, but failed, and his mind got too imaginative before he could shut it off. He imagined the blue tie around his wrists, and a collard blue shirt hanging open and over him. Him and Jean had only gone further than kissing a few times, and Jeremy would never push, but he would never forget any of the moments where Jean was concerned. It would be difficult to be comfortable in his suit pants with the hard-on he acquired with just the thought of Jean.
Shaking his head to clear the sudden, and ferocious want, he quickly pulled the rest of the outfit on, sans the dress shoes waiting at the door. Emerging, he was met with his friends, all accessorized in varying shades of blue, but only Jean made his mouth water. Meeting his gaze as he noticed Jean slowly appraising him, nothing felt better than the appreciation in those eyes and the feelings that Jeremy knew were there.
“Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?” Laila said, breaking the electric charge between the two men with a short huff of a laugh. Jean blushed, and turned to follow Cat out, Jeremy grabbed Jab, bow tie now only a little askew. The five of them were off a moment later, Laila driving her car, Cat in the front seat, and Jeremy plastered to his boyfriend’s side.
Jean took advantage of the car ride to let himself relax against Jeremy’s side, the heat from the other man soothing. It had been too long since he had been able to spend the whole day with Jeremy without any interruptions. His fingers went to tangle themselves with Jeremy’s, and Jeremy snuggled into his side, absolutely wrinkling both of their dress shirts in the process.
Too soon, they pulled up to Coach’s house, and as Laila pulled into the open garage where she was directed, Jean grumbled but loosened his grip on Jeremy’s waist. They both exited, and Jean had to stop on the way in to absorb how the house had transformed from every day to elegant. Coach was already chatting to Jeremy when Jean entered the house, and he reached his hand out behind him for Jean to grab, and he did so, intertwining their fingers and stepping close.
“Jeremy was explaining how he tried to plant some roses in his flower box, but they all died immediately.” Coach said, and Jean smothered his laugh and knowing smile into Jeremy’s shoulder.
“I went to water them,”
“2nd day after he de potted them,” Jean interrupted, causing Coach to laugh, before Jeremy shrugged, and continued,
“And when I saw them, they were all dry and crispy, so I watered them, a lot, and the next day it was even worse. It’s like the plants decided that no matter what, they only grow for Jean.” Jeremy complained, fondly. Coach shook his head, not even attempting to tell Jeremy where he went wrong as a first-time plant owner, and instead led the two boys to the back yard, where the ceremony and reception was occurring. Coach went to change into his suit, and Laila waved them over to where they were eating small foods and sipping on drinks. Cat and Cody were chatting about the newest video game that Jean immediately forgot the title to, comparing builds and levels, so he turned his attention to his surroundings. Xavier was laughing, Pat and Ananya were sidled up beside Cody, and Jeremy and Laila were chatting quietly. Jean took the moment of calm to take a breath and sink into the feeling of discomfort that had begun to settle in his gut. The knowledge that Coach and Adi could get married, could have a life together that Jean thought would never be his, was inspiring Jean to have stupid thoughts about Jeremy. He could see them; older, which was still a foreign concept to Jean, matching wedding bands, sitting in the early morning sun.
Jean had to tear his brain away from that thought, too vivid and too desirable. Instead, he had spotted Adi walking down into the yard, where Coach was waiting. Jean was too far away to hear them, but he saw the love and adoration reflected in their eyes and faces, looks that Jean had become so familiar with, over the last year. He watched Coach’s eyes grow wet as he looked at his partner, in a black tuxedo, on their wedding day and could not help himself from looking at Jeremy, catching him mid laugh, his beautiful dimples showing that Jean always wanted and had put his mouth to. Jean felt himself smile, and was startled by Cody’s voice, and he looked down at their blue buzz cut,
“I mean, I get it, it’s easy to be told that the world doesn’t like love us as people. But standing here, at this wedding I never thought would be able to see, it reminds me that there is such a simple beauty to celebrate the love or the life you denied yourself.” They said, but continued,
“This makes it all feel worth it. Real.”
Jean nodded, he could not add anything else, so they stood in silence for a moment, before Jeremy wondered his way over,
“Peach for your thoughts?” He held out a peach, and Cody snickered at them before going to refill their drink.
“I did not think this life would ever be reality,” Jean gestured around at the wedding, taking the peach and holding it close to his chest.
“And how does it feel?” Jeremy asked, and Jean contemplated the question.
“Overwhelming.”
Jeremy stepped close to Jean, hands already on his shoulders, but before he could initiate anything, the people began to move towards where a lot of chairs had been set up, and Jeremy puffed out a sigh that brushed Jean’s skin.
“Come on, we do not want bad seats,” Jeremy placed his weight back on the ground, and led Jean there.
After the first dance, where Jean had to look away from the sheer happiness on both Coach and his partner’s faces, the music changed into a slightly faster beat and most of the guests, including Cat and Laila, got up and began to dance. Jean sipped his lemon water, watching as Jeremy was pulled into a dance with Cody, on his way back from the bar. Somehow, even with Cody’s small stature, they were able to perfectly time a wink at Jean, who scowled. Jab had settled down under the table, his head poking out of the tablecloth as he struggled to stay awake, his eyes closing every few seconds with a head jolt.
The song got louder, and even though Jean was not specifically jealous of Cody or the way that the two of them playfully grinded to the beat, he was jealous of the touch, the way he wanted to, always. Jean was burning with want, and for most of the time, he had to bury it somewhere inaccessible, so it was not constantly overwhelming him.
It was Cat, who came over for a sip of his water, who held her hand out for him, and waited, her eyes convincing him even before she tried to speak. As he stood, she smiled, leading him into the through of it, and directly into a circle of his friends, safe form the strangers that Coach and Adi knew, but the team did not. Jean had never been able to dance before California, and even two years with the Trojans, it was hard for his body to forget the rigidity, strength, and focus that exy required in order to move with the beat of a song he did not know. Jab had fallen fast asleep, and not even the promise of crumbs on the floor could wake the sleeping dog.
A familiar hand gently grasped his waist, and even though he flinched and tensed, it only took a second to relax into Jeremy’s strength. Jeremy’s hair tickled his neck as he leaned in close, and Jean felt the slight movement of his palms as Jeremy’s hands cradled his hips,
“Just lean into it, feel the music, baby,” he said, and Jean moved his hips under the guide of calloused hands. He turned in his arms and rested his hands on Jeremy’s shoulders. Jean tried to sink into the movements, but it was too much, too many strangers and too loud. He tapped Jeremy’s wrist, a quiet gesture that they had used when either got too overwhelmed. He felt the quiet push of anxiety and got his way out of the dance floor, escaping the tent that covered part of Coach’s yard. Heaving a breath, Jean made his way to the small garden that he had begun to help with, on particularly bad days. He knew what it looked like in the sunlight, but the night hid some of his favorite views of the plants.
“I didn’t mean to overwhelm you, sorry,” Jeremy’s voice was over his shoulder, and Jean shook his head.
“It was not you, I…liked the dancing, just not the crowd.” Jean said, and felt Jeremy’s hand grasp his,
“Maybe we can try this, then?” Jeremy replied, and tugged Jean close, and Jean relished the feeling. Jeremy gently manhandled Jean into what he deemed the best, all while Jean could not keep his small fond smile off his face as he watched his boyfriend fiddle with the placement of his feet. He reached in the pocket of his suit pants and tugged out a tangled pair of headphones and his iPod. Jean plucked the cord out of Jeremy’s hands and quickly undid the messed-up wire, before gesturing with them in question. Jeremy plucked them from Jean’s hands with a grateful smile. Standing on his tiptoes, Jeremy carefully tucked one of the earbuds into Jean’s ear and the other into his own.
The song was classical, and Jean smiled at the realization that Jeremy has been cataloging the music that Jean has been incorporating into his life. Laila had turned him onto it, and everyone has been encouraging Jean’s new music exploration. He looked down at Jeremy’s face; nose scrunched in concentration as he scrolled through the music and put something together. Seemingly content with the music, Jeremy places one of Jean’s hands on his shoulder and put his own on Jean’s waist. The other hand, Jeremy clasps, tight and as the classical music fades out and another slow song, one that Jean recognizes as a common song that Cat plays while they make dinner. Jeremy began to sway, and Jean followed, and the comfort of being with Jeremy, and being held by Jeremy made the awkwardness of dancing disappear. Even as Jean stepped on Jeremy’s toes, all they did was laugh as Jeremy redirected where his feet were supposed to go. Jean loved watching Jeremy’s smile now that he could look, and he soaked in the warmth languidly. They moved ever so closer, until the world faded, and it was just him. Just Jeremy.
Stars twinkled above in the night sky, and Jean could hear music in one ear and the joy and cheer of the wedding in the other. It was perfect, and it was going too fast for him to appreciate it. Jean felt the last few weeks prod at the tip of his tongue, the loneliness and the wanting, but Jeremy spoke first,
“This long-distance sucks, right?” Jeremy kissed Jean’s cheek chastely, softly, and Jean almost crumpled.
“I want to be with you, all the time, and it’s so difficult to be apart.” He continues, and Jean nodded, their foreheads resting on each other. Jean thinks back to their hurried and always ending meetings over the last few weeks, and how the day Jeremy leaves, Jean could only wait for the next time they spoke to each other. Which was usually on Jeremy’s drive back, just continuing to talk, but even that would end too soon.
“Coach told me that scouts from all over were approaching him about my offers, and the San Francisco Alligators were willing to take us both, but not at a ‘big enough number,’” Jean used air quotes, but continued at Jeremy’s patience.
“But they are not a rich enough team to justify two huge salaries. But the Los Angeles Lions implied that they were willing to buy out a striker’s contract if it sweetened the deal. I think they were implying Kevin or Neil, but…” Jean shrugged, and brushed a piece of Jeremy’s hair out of his face.
“You need the money for the…mafia stuff, so I can take a pay cut.” Jeremy replied, tilting his head into Jean’s hand, and even though they were mostly just swaying now, Jean felt how much Jeremy cared for him,
“No, ma puce, you deserve every penny. I want to be near you, with you, and maybe play on the same team.” Jean clarified, and he watched as Jeremy’s cheeks went red as his mouth opened on a silent ‘Oh’.
“If Adi and Co…Rhemann could get married and live together and be happy as they seem to be, maybe we could too.” Jean finished, stealing a glance back at the tent where the newlyweds were laughing and sipping champagne as they watched their friends and family from the front of the tent.
Jeremy audibly swallowed, and Jean kissed the blush off his face.
“I do not know when, but I do know I want it.”
Jeremy smiled, his slightly shy, slightly crooked smile, the one he kept for the people he loved, and hugged Jean to him. Just as another cheer went up from the wedding guests, Jean pulled Jeremy into a kiss. It was slow and soft, and everything both of them needed. Their movements had slowed, but the music was still playing in their ears, and Jean made sure to remind himself to ask Jeremy what the song was at a later time. Jean wanted to keep this night in his memory collection, the moment he saw Jeremy, rumpled from the drive to the kiss now.
“I see that these two snuck off to have their own dance,” Adi said, and as Jean turned to see both Adi and Coach were there, laughing with a fondness that Jean has been slowly acclimatizing to as his time in the Trojans continued.
“It’s time to cut the cake,” Coach nodded his head to the two of them and at Jean’s sour expression, Jeremy giggled, and Coach sighed,
“It’s carrot cake. Won’t hurt you to try it, I promise.”
Jeremy squeezed Jean’s hand and brought him back into the tent, shooting Coach a smile and a promise to make Jean try at least a bite.
Jeremy may have to leave in a few days, but he spent every day after the wedding, glued to Jean’s side, even taking him out for another twilight dance, now that Jean knew how to sway comfortably in Jeremy’s arms. His break didn’t last forever, and he had to drive back to San Fransisco far too soon, but he pet Jab goodbye, leaving another toy, this time a small Kevin Day plushie that Jeremy found at an Exy merch booth at one of his games. He took a picture of Jab ripping out the stuffing of Kevin and sent it off to him with a laugh. He laughed even harder at Kevin’s response. Jeremy could feel Jean roll his eyes from where he was, draped over Jeremy’s back.
It would be at least a month until they could see each other in person again, but just as Jeremy handed the new mail to a very clingy Jean, a thicker than normal enveloped slipped out. He handed it to Jean to open and he did, a small gasp of what Jeremy thought was delight escaped his boyfriend. It was two pictures, both the same, of them dancing under the night sky, sharing one pair of headphones. A small note written from Adi, ‘Our photographer spotted you two and grabbed a photo. I thought you two would want it.’
“It is perfect.” Jean whispered, and he let Jeremy twist in his arms to plant a kiss on his sweet Jean. Jeremy tucked his photo into his pants’ pocket, ready to be brought to his apartment and framed.
“I’ll call you on the way.” Jeremy promised, and after a heart stopping kiss where Jean had pressed him into the wall and only stopped from a pointed cough from Cat. Laila had left the day before, and she was dramatically groaning at any PDA the boys showed while she was around. Jean growled, the tone a mix of fake and real annoyance, but released Jeremy’s hips and let him down.
Jeremy bid Cat goodbye with a hug, kissed Jab on the head one last time, and Jean led him to his car.
“Goodbye, mon ange, expect a call soon.” Jeremy kissed him goodbye, and then again for good measure, before opening his car door.
“After you get on the highway?” Jean asked, and Jeremy smiled, but Jean continued,
“I will throw this coffee away if you do not.” Jean said, handing the thermos of his favorite drink as Jeremy sat down.
“No, you wouldn’t,” Jeremy replied, and Jean shot back,
“No, but I’ll think about it.”
They smiled at the same time, and Jeremy whispered, as Jean leaned down into the doorway of the car,
“I want to dedicate the rest of my life to making you smile.” Jeremy pressed his lips against Jean’s. And it was a more than just a kiss. It was a promise for a future, for a see you soon. For more than either of them thought they would get. Jean pulled away first, and Jeremy sank back into the chair.
“Drive safe.”
And with matching slightly devastated expressions, Jean shut the car door and walks back to the curb. Jeremy blew him a kiss, and Jean caught it, placing it gently against his heart.
With a sigh, and his happiness ebbing slightly away, Jeremy pulled away. His hand went to the photo in his pocket and pulled it out, smoothing the corner out where it got bent. Jeremy placed it on his passenger seat, to make sure it was going to stay safe while he drove, and dialed Jean’s number. He pressed call the second he merged off the ramp.