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Ivar sat on the edge of the dock looking at Lady death, it had been some time since the expendable protocol started. It honestly felt like years for them, And now Ivar looked at the stars, the waves moving gently below them, Ivar didn't dare to speak first, the growing tenseness of the unspoken problem the expendables were getting closer to getting the cristal, Sebastian was getting ready to leave with pA.Inter. everyone's plans seemed to go without Ivar, they knew what they decided to do, Lady death knew too, but they both hated that decision.
"Death.. I'm afraid I have less time than I thought, way less than I thought, And I fear tokens aren't really infinite.."
Ivar took a deep breath and Lady Death simply listened, She knew what was going to happen yet still hated the idea
"Urbanshade is getting closer to getting the cristal, and Sebastian is going to leave soon. and I'm going to end up alone.."
Ivar braced themselves for what they were going to say. It was a harsh truth for both of them.
"I am going to be killed soon, Urbanshade is going to hunt me down, there's nothing I can do."
Ivar bit their tongue not wanting keep going with this talk, they felt the hand of Lady Death rest on their shoulder, maybe to comfort them or to comfort herself, or a mix of both considering the situation.
They both know that they didn't have time, since the start of their relationship they knew. yet Ivar didn't rush it, and both let themselves care about each other, they let themselves love in a place where no feeling like that was allowed to grow for the first time in years they both loved and yearned for each other in a way no one ever did, knowing that their hours were counted and that their love would never be able to blossom properly.
"I.. i want to tell you something Death..."
They murmured, something they usually wouldn't have admitted, Ivar partly wanted to keep this to themselves, keep their feelings locked away so it wouldn't hurt to die. Yet the idea of leaving Lady Death with the doubt if they ever loved her made
"I love you. I love you so, so much. And thank you so much for making me feel like I actually deserve to live, a few months ago.. I was simply waiting for being euthanized. But now it feels so strange.. knowing I'm going to die."
Ivar moved closer to Lady death, leaning against her like they usually did, she held them close to her, tighter than usual. A way to say goodbye. Lady Death wasn't happy with the idea of Ivar dying, she knew it was going to happen eventually, she knew that she wasn't supposed to care about them, she knew it. Yet she couldn't help but love them, the way they could talk for hours, the way Ivar would simply smile at her and stare in such a loving way.
Now it was all going to be gone, and the only thing she could do was to hold Ivar close and pretend they'll be back like always , with that same tired smile, and like always they would lay down besides her and ramble about their day or anything.. And she would listen. Like always..
all she could do was pretend she wasn't going to lose the person she loved once again to urbanshade. Life couldn't be more unfair right now.
"I don't know if I regret not escaping with Sebastian."
They murmured looking up at Lady Death who had now snapped back from her thoughts she stared back, she didn't say anything.. waiting for Ivar to explain themselves a bit
"It's just.. he's more human than I'll ever be, he's human enough to deserve freedom. But I—"
Before Ivar could keep going with their self deprecating rant Lady death stopped them by not so softly giving them a smack on the back of their head with her scythe paddle thing
"..Stop saying that."
.
"You deserve to live.."
She said slightly annoyed, it bothered to hear Ivar talk badly about themselves, Ivar was surprised, she didn't talk much usually.. yet she did if it meant to bring her some comfort. Ivar chuckled smiling at her ignoring the tears forming in the corner of their eyes.
"Thanks.. I think I needed to hear that."
Ivar glanced at the portal once more not wanting to even think of going, though they know it was dangerous to hide here, it could get Lady death in trouble too. They looked at Lady death once again, she gave them a knowing look back. Yet Ivar didn't leave They stayed close to her ignoring that their minutes were counted, Lady death sat down on the dock looking at Ivar, the way they nuzzled against her hand for comfort.. Ivar was much shorter than her yet she didn't mind.
It was nice to be able to hold someone close like this. Ivar sighed softly the soft crashing of the waves was the only sound that could be heard around them, Lady Death eventually sat down on the dock, knees pressed to her chest holding Ivar close.. They both stayed cuddled up for a few minutes, Ivar's soft breathing was almost reassuring at this point. Lady Death never expected to get attached to someone after the death of her late husband, yet there she is.. holding Ivar close to her with one of her arms trying to relish in a moment that could be the last between them. When did she start to get attached?... Lady Death can't tell honestly. Maybe it started when they first met, She remember it clearly, the way Ivar's eye widened looking at her up and down as they held tight to the paddle side of her scythe before shakily muttering a "thank you" before starting to ask questions about the banlands that went unanswered.
When did she even start talking to them? She can't remember the exact situation really, but she can in fact remember the look Ivar gave her, the way they looked so amazed complimenting her voice yet they never forced her to speak, they simply enjoyed the little moments where she'd speak to them.
To feel loved after all those years, to hear the voice of Ivar after fishing them out of the sea of souls. It brought a comfort that she didn't know she missed so much, and it was all going to be gone soon, once again urbanshade was going to take away everything and all she could do was to hold Ivar tight and wish this moment could last forever, Then she felt Ivar falling asleep on the embrace, almost melting agaist her side like an ice cream left out in the sun, She couldn't help but amire Ivar's features the way Ivar's hair would gracefully fall over their face.. the way they wore their scars so proudly sometimes, Yet she knew how insecure Ivar was about them. It was an interesting contradiction, something she may never understand about them. Ivar's breathing slowed down as they calmed down a bit, Lady death wished she could stay like this forever, just enjoy her break holding Ivar close and ignoring everything, just her and Ivar cuddling happily.
She wished she could drown in the memories and forget about the future.