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007n7 stared ahead, sorrow pooling in his gut. His eyes, tired from many long nights, burned with the threat of more tears. His breath appeared before him in small puffs of white mist, and even with solid evidence of his survival, he couldn't feel more dead inside.
He had been summoned to the park via text and had wasted no time in rushing over, even forgetting to grab his coat. A naive hope had built inside him on the way over, hope that the confession of his dreams had finally arrived. That hope had long since withered away, replaced by a bitter grief.
His chest burned as he stared at the two before him, the duo standing so far yet so close. It wasn't rare for him to see Chance and Elliot together, but now of all times — he just couldn't stand it. It made his heart twist, seeing them like this.
They were laughing with each other, Chance's arm slung around Elliot's shoulder. The delivery boy looked at them with so much fondness it made 007n7 sick, a lump forming in his throat. Each time the duo made physical contact, it felt as though the air around him had dropped a few degrees, cold biting at his unprotected skin.
They were perfect together. Just the sight of them seemed unflawed, remarkable to even 007n7's sore eyes. They looked straight out of a movie, the snow clinging to them like confetti — as if Robloxia was congratulating their development.
He didn't blame Elliot for going after Chance, someone who was equally as wealthy as him, not to mention attractive. 007n7 wasn't even half as beautiful as he was, let alone stable enough to get Elliot as many gifts as he could. An angel like Chance was perfect for a saint like Elliot.
007n7 couldn't bring himself to be angry, nor did he feel any resentment for the gambler. He couldn't, not when Chance had been so kind to him in previous interactions. Yet, even though such a desire filled him with extreme guilt, he couldn't help but wish they were just dead — maybe then Elliot would love him.
Chance leaned further on Elliot, something he said causing him to flush. That was the last straw for 007n7, the final push towards his breaking point. Warm tears that he had tried so hard to hold back streamed down his face, but he couldn't find the motivation to wipe them away.
He couldn't tell if he was disappointed, jealous, or just idiotic. His breath came in short gasps, arms wrapping around himself. No matter how much his vision blurred, he could still see it, he could still see the reason why he could never have Elliot.
Was this his punishment? The consequences of committing unspeakable crimes and then believing redemption would cause everyone to simply forget? He deserved to be alone, didn't he?
He should have never come here, should've never assumed he would have a shot. Chance was everything he wasn't — perfect, innocent, loved. Falling for them wouldn't force Elliot to raise a child he had previously had conflicting with, wouldn't haunt him with memories of golden flames.
The truth was as clear as day; Elliot was better off without him. He would only be dead weight, another obstacle to his perfect life. It wasn't like Elliot loved him anyway, not when all he'd done was hurt him.
007n7 hung his head low, turning back as he dragged himself home. He couldn't bring himself to ruin the mood, couldn't bring himself to get in the way of such a relationship. Elliot didn't deserve that, Chance didn't deserve that.
But even as he walked away, he couldn't help but find himself wishing he were Chance.
Elliot rolled his eyes, face bathed in red. Chance grinned wider, his arm slung around the other's shoulder.
“Admit it — you've been fantasizing about kissing him!” Chance accused playfully, poking the shorter one in the side. They had been teasing them for the last few minutes, finding Elliot's attraction towards 007n7 "astronomically adorable”, as they worded it.
Elliot finally pushed the other off him, shoving his face into his hands. “It's a normal and valid thing to think!”
“Sure…” Chance drawled, likely rolling their eyes behind their sunglasses.
The two settled back into idle chatter, mainly from Chance — who had a lot to say as always. Occasionally, Elliot took a glance around the park, searching for familiar pink glasses that stood out against white snow.
“Do you think something came up?” He worried, hands wringing together. The anxious feeling in his gut worsened the longer his desired partner remained out of sight.
“Ell, you told him to come at eight. It's like, seven thirty.” Chance dismissed, flicking him on the head. Elliot's mouth rounded into an O shape, suddenly remembering the nervous text message he sent.
Still, he couldn't help but feel like something was off. Maybe it was just nerves, but this was something Elliot aimed to do only once and only towards 007n7. He couldn't bear the thought of waiting another year to admit how he really felt.
It was a family tradition of his — gifting sweaters on December 3rd. It was their form of courting, something they only did once to someone they intended to confess to. While the receiver may not know how much weight the article of clothing held, it was extremely important to anyone in the Builder bloodline.
Chance had helped him pick out the sweater, another part of the tradition. Someone close to the giver would help them pick one out, similar to what they would do during a wedding. Elliot, despite having many friends, chose Chance because, despite being aromantic, they were great at giving romance advice.
Elliot's hand subconsciously went down to his messenger bag hyper aware of the gift inside. He had long since planned to give it 007n7 — even if the man may never understand its significance. It was his first step to confessing, and if he gained the courage maybe he could complete the last step as well.
Hopefully, 007n7 arrived soon — he couldn't wait to give it to him.
LOML <33
: hey I don't think I'll be able to to make it
: not really feeling well, might have a cold
: consequences of going out without a coat
: could we maybe reschedule?