Work Text:
It's been a long time
Since I talked to you.
I don't even pass you in the halls now
And as I'm counting the years on my fingers
I realized I've been remembering you
For longer than you were here.
Back then I didn't think that was possible.
Dragons and stones and berries along the side of the track
Were ours and I never wanted to let go.
In the end it wasn't me, and I'm not even sure it was you,
But your mother's words in your ear were enough that it didn't matter.
The last time I saw you, you looked the same.
Your hair, straight and brown and
Precisely shoulder length.
Your face hasn't changed at all,
Still pale and covered in freckles,
You look like your family, though your father
Is the only one who still likes me.
I emailed you last year on your birthday,
The fourth one I ever memorized,
Just after my mother, my brother, and me.
I don't know what I expected,
But you answered
"thank you!!"
No capitalization, two exclaimation points
I thought about that a lot longer than I should have.
You stopped playing the clarinet
And part of me was glad because it meant
Getting rid of the reminder of what I'd lost
But sometimes I still miss that ghost of who we were.
I had so many questions, after.
"Why?" was my biggest one.
But now I just wonder if you remember me the same,
If you still think about me occasionally.
I don't think you even know my name now,
And I wonder if you'd recognize me.
But I miss you, anyway.