Work Text:
I made eyes with a girl whose name
I can not clearly remember
Then again, that was some thirty years ago
And our words have been lost to the timber
- Clutch, A Good Fire
> Be Nepeta
Your name is Nepeta Leijon. You sit outside alone, on the barren, pockmarked surface of a meteor hurtling at greatest possible speed through the furthest reaches of the Furtherst Ring. Clusters of tall buildings erupt from the natural-looking stone like tumors, looming over you. You can see perfectly well, though there's little in the way of an apparent source of light out here. Just the distant glitter of dream-bubbles, the faint flashing lightning of Lord English's wreckage, and the dark eldritch shimmer of horrorterrors floating through the void.
You sit outside alone, drag a claw through the dust at your feet, and think about Terezi Pyrope. You wonder where your old roleplay partner is, right now. You wonder if, even now, Terezi is plotting your death. You wonder if Terezi is nearby, watching you. If she might jump out any moment, her long, thin sword darting like a buzzfiend's stinger, and-
You would fight back! Like a hissnoodle, you'd fight! The trouble is, you're sure Equius would have fought too. And he would have won if he had; he was so strong! Which means he never got the chance to fight, did he?
You are concerned you wouldn't have that chance, either.
That's when you hear the crunch of a footstep behind you, and whirl around, teeth and claws bared in a shriek of-
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK, NEPETA???
Oh. It's Karkat.
KARKAT: JEGUS I NEARLY SHAT OUT MY SPINE.
Just Karkat.
It's okay.
Oops, he looks spooked. That's probably because of you.
You try, with a great deal of effort, to lower your hackles. Metaphorically, of course. You're a troll, not an actual cat. Unfortunately.
NEPETA: :OO < what are you doing out here, karkitty?
KARKAT: WHAT AM I DOING? I'M KEEPING AN EYE OUT FOR INSANE BARK-DEMONS AND LORD ENGLISHES, OBVIOUSLY.
NEPETA: :33 < i thought finding a safe path was rose's job.
KARKAT: YEAH WELL. SHE'S NOT EXACTLY FUCKING PERFECT AT THAT.
Karkat sits down on a rocky ledge, and you sit next to him.
KARKAT: I MEAN, SHE SAYS SHE CAN PLOT THE PATH TO VICTORY, BUT LIKE, CLEARLY THERE ARE MULTIPLE DEFINITIONS OF VICTORY, SINCE WE'RE- WE'VE ALREADY LOST A FUCKING LOT. I FEEL LIKE OUR WHOLE GROUP IS COMING APART AT THE EDGES.
KARKAT: WHAT'S LEFT OF OUR GROUP.
KARKAT: OR FUCK, MAYBE IT'S JUST ME.
Back on Alternia, sitting under the stars or looking out from your den, you'd be listening to the chirpfiends stridulate and the hootbeasts wail in the bushes. But there are no wild animals here. Just you, your surviving friends, two aliens, and Terezi Pyrope.
Karkat's still talking.
KARKAT: BUT LIKE, SHE'S THE ONLY HOPE WE HAVE, YOU KNOW?
KARKAT: THAT WE'LL MAKE IT TO THE NEW SESSION. AND HOPEFULLY NOT FUCK THAT ONE UP AS MUCH AS THIS ONE.
KARKAT: FAT FUCKING CHANCE OF THAT.
You used to have such a flushcrush on Karkat. When you were younger. Like, it was really just a sweep-and-a-half past, but it feels like that was such a long time. Lifetimes ago.
You glance over at him. He's always so concerned about everyone. You think he does a better job than he thinks he does, keeping everyone together. Especially since he got that god-hood, it's like he always knows what to say when things go wrong.
Like when the human Dave was pitching a fit about how dark the commonsblocks were. Or when Vriska tried to auspicitize for Gamzee. Or when Feferi was vacillating again with Sollux. Of course, that was before-
Before.
Very slowly, very softly, you move your hand to brush his with your smallest finger. You feel his hand twitch, almost as if he's going to pull away, but then he doesn't.
Hm. Well. Maybe it wasn't all that long ago after all. He's so handsome in that god tier hood.
NEPETA: :33 < so what if it's a fat fucking chance?
NEPETA: :33 < it's good to be a fat cat. it means you're a good huntress.
NEPETA: :33 < and we'll just n33d to hunt some frogs, right?
You curl your pinky finger around his. He makes a singular loud sound, like a half-hysterical laugh.
KARKAT: THAT'S NOT EVEN A HALF OF THIS BLISTERED FECULANT RUMPUS OF A QUEST, AND YOU KNOW IT.
You lean your shoulder against him. He feels so warm to you, but he shivers anyway.
NEPETA: :{{ < you're scared.
KARKAT: FUCK, NEPETA, I'M TERRIFIED.
NEPETA: :// < of purrezi?
KARKAT: OF EVERYTHING. FOR EVERYONE.
Oh no. It's such a raw confession, so vulnerable it's almost pale. Almost.
Your heart wells up with pity.
NEPETA: :33 < at least you're not alone. right?
He turns, and looks at you. It's hard to read his expression. His eyes are wide, reflecting yours. You try to imagine what they'll look like, when they fill in. Bright red. Like no other troll in the world.
Well. Not that there's a lot of competition.
KARKAT: YOU MEAN BECAUSE I HAVE DA-
You kiss him.
What a silly kitty.
It’s not the last time. You meet out on the meteor surface on many occasions, over the next two perigees. Sometimes you just curl up side-by-side on a blanket alchemized out of Equius' towels and the Mayor's sash, sharing in each other's body heat under the empty vault of the endless void. Other times, you kiss and touch and gasp and yowl and prove that despite everything, despite apocalypses and demons and gods and death itself, you're alive, alive, alive.
He cuts it off only a few nights before you reach the new session. IT'S A BAD IDEA, he says. TRUST ME, he says. THIS ISN'T A RELATIONSHIP THAT WILL LAST.
Maybe it's Blood stuff. Gods stuff. You don't know anything about that.
But you know what's in your heart. And you know it hurts.
Sweeps in the future, but not many…
The sky of Earth C by day is a swirl of teal and red, lit by letters that never go out and a great pale sun that does not burn your skin. The sky of Earth C by night is full of stars.
The ceiling of the bunker, on the other paw, is boring gray, and that just won't do.
One night, as you paint the Alternian sunrise on the ceiling in purple and gold (you get to use so many more colors now that Roxy makes your paint!) Karkat comes to find you.
KARKAT: YOU PAINTED OUR DOOR.
You turn away from your work and land your jetpack.
NEPETA: :33 < mmmyep! do you like it?
KARKAT: YOU ADDED HEARTS.
You nod.
NEPETA: :33 < yep!
KARKAT: WHY? IS IT... ARE YOU TRYING TO MOCK ME?
What a silly kitty.
NEPETA: :// < i'd nefur mock you.
NEPETA: :33 < you're like latch, karkitty.
NEPETA: :33 < you know what other people n33d.
NEPETA: :33 < but you don't know efurrything about yourself.
NEPETA: :33 < so i'm helping out beclaws you're my fur-end.
KARKAT: MY FRIEND?
You smile.
NEPETA: :33 < yeah.
NEPETA: :33 < we're fur-ends.
NEPETA: :// < we gotta be beclaws
NEPETA: :{{ < even though we're going to have to be the ones to remem-purr all the others
You lean towards him, careful not to get too close, not to let your lips touch his cheek.
NEPETA: :33 < i won't let you be alone.
It's only a few nights later that Rose tells you about Derse.