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Laurel had stopped changing out of her workout clothes whenever Oliver arrived. Mainly because, due to the time spent arguing with Felicity, there was a solid half hour to forty five minutes in between his arrival and the time where they actually suited up. This had persisted all throughout last week. Laurel had started using the extra time to do some extra drills on the punching bag. It helped with exercise and had the added benefit of drowning out the discussions that did nothing but create an awkward atmosphere. Mostly.
“Felicity, you need to rest.”
“No. What I need is to keep focusing on this.” Felicity countered.
“Do you know what happens if I stop looking?”
“You get to recharge and come back with renewed energy.”
“No! We waste more time, and the more time we waste the more likely it is that by the time we do manage to find Ray he’s already dead. Is that what you want?”
“Of course not. Felicity, Ray is my friend, I want us to find him too. But you’re not going to be of any help to him in your current condition.” Oliver pointed out.
“I’m just trying to help.”
Laurel thought that was fair. She also considered Ray a friend, but she knew very well that Oliver was right about resting. It was better to tackle a problem with a fresh set of eyes than to attempt it half-asleep. Unfortunately, Felicity didn’t seem to share that opinion.
“Well, did you magically learn to code in the last five minutes?”
Oliver took a slight step back and lowered his gaze.
“No.”
“Then sorry, but your help is not much use here. This is not a problem you can just punch into non-existence.”
That was harsh. Needlessly so. And it was enough for Laurel to step away from the punching bag.
“Felicity, that’s not fair. Oliver is trying to help you and he is giving good advice.”
Felicity scoffed.
“I think we all know Oliver is not the kind of person who should be giving anyone advice. Especially not when it comes to this.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Laurel asked.
“Look, Oliver is not the most… versatile person. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve all seen him fight and it’s impressive. But if the problem is not something he can punch into submission or shoot with an arrow, there’s not really much he can do. He’s simple and straightforward like that.”
Laurel couldn’t help but frown. Oliver was not just a dumb brute. If they were talking about fighting, that was clear to see. Sure, he was quite locked on target. But there was technique, there was precision, there was craftiness, there was strategy. It wasn’t just about wailing on his opponents until they stayed down. It was about finding weak spots and exploiting them. Looking for ways to negate a target’s strengths or working around them if needed. He was by no means a dumb fighter. And even outside of combat, Oliver was one of the most clever and creative people Laurel knew. He had come up with some of the most brilliant ideas and tricks she had ever witnessed, even if some of the pre-island ones were a little immature. He had always been more than just the hood and the arrows.
“Felicity, Oliver is not just a gun for us to point at targets.”
“That’s not what I’m saying.” Felicity argued.
“But I mean, Oliver barely scraped by in high school. Then there’s the like, five colleges he dropped out of. And of course there’s the five years on the island, which you know, can’t blame him, but it’s a gap. So really, there’s not the best education there.”
Laurel’s hands began to clench at her sides.
“There’s more to a person’s intelligence than just the grades they got in school.”
“Well, yeah, school isn’t everything. But you have to admit that he could have benefited from paying a bit more attention in class. Like, he’s fine, but there are some things that everybody should know.”
“Oh yeah? How often do we actually use algebra or English literature down here?” Thea piped up.
Laurel was glad the it was the youngest Queen who had spoken up, because some of the insinuations Felicity was making were starting to really tick her off. And for a hopeful moment, she thought that might be the end of the discussion, as Felicity seemed to have nothing more to say. But of course, that wasn’t the case.
“Okay, true. We don’t use a lot of that school stuff here. But even just with what we do here, Oliver really does not come up with the best plans or ideas.” Felicity continued.
“I mean, he’s a very inspiring leader. But when it comes to actual smarts there’s not really a lot going on. And there have been so many times where all of this would have crashed and burned if I hadn’t been there to help him.”
Laurel crossed her arms. The posture was stiff, but she felt like this was the only way to keep her hands from shaking.
“That is neither true nor fair. Oliver has been doing this for a lot longer than any of us have. And when he started, he was waging a one-man war on this city’s corruption. And he was winning! Without tech support, just with his wits and skill. Without Oliver, we never even would have joined this crusade, much less have gotten this far.”
“Laurel, I think you might be exaggerating a bit. When I found out Oliver’s secret it was because I found him bleeding out in my car after his mother shot him. I’d hardly call that winning. And I’m sorry, but as inspiring as Oliver is, his plans tend to be poorly thought out at best and borderline insane and suicidal at worst. He’s great at fighting, but there’s a reason he leaves the parts that require more intellect to people like me.”
Laurel was about to fire back, when she heard a set of mechanical doors moving. Her eyes darted to the entrance to the bunker where she saw the elevator doors closed and a light indicating that the elevator was moving upwards. Oliver had chosen to leave rather than stay there, listening to his supposed girlfriend belittle and berate him. Laurel couldn’t say she blamed him.
Thea was the first to snap out of their shock-induced silence.
“I-I’m gonna go find him.” she said before hurrying towards the elevator herself.
Once the elevator doors closed again, Laurel turned back towards Felicity. And if she had been annoyed before, now she was downright furious.
“Are you happy? Is this what you wanted?”
Felicity had the audacity to scoff.
“I may be his girlfriend, but it is not my job to stroke his ego.”
“You just stood there for several minutes berating Oliver and belittling his intelligence! In fact, you’ve been doing it all week.” Laurel fired back, anger laced in each word.
“Have you even thought about how that makes him feel?”
Felicity took a step forward.
“Let me be clear, I am not going to dumb myself down just to make Oliver feel better about himself.”
John was the one to speak this time.
“It’s not about dumbing yourself down, Felicity. It’s about respecting each other. I thought you understood that.” he told her, and even though his voice was calm, there was a certain coldness directed towards Felicity that Laurel was glad to see.
“Oliver may not know how to work computers the same way you do, but he’s not just a brawler.”
“Exactly.” Laurel agreed.
“And there are plenty of times where he’s shown that too. Like when he tricked my dad and the rest of the SCPD into declaring him innocent the first time he was accused of being a vigilante. Or when he managed to uncover the Undertaking. Or two years ago, when he tricked Slade Wilson into dropping his guard.”
As she spoke, Laurel watched John nod along to each thing she said, confirming her statements. She was sure that Felicity, even if she clearly was not the person they all thought she was, would now at the very least have to concede that her assumptions about Oliver were not entirely true. To Laurel’s mounting frustration, she merely waved her hand dismissively.
“He only succeeded at those out of luck or because he had help. They’re the exception that proves the rule.” she said.
“I mean, just look at what happened when he had that brilliant idea to try dating Helena Bertinelli.”
And that was the final straw. Laurel hadn’t had any intention of fighting with Felicity. But she was not going to stand around and listen to this anymore. The thought that she had ever allowed Oliver to be taken away for six months by a woman who thought so little of him made Laurel feel sick to her stomach. Even if he had declared that he was done chasing after her, that he didn’t feel the same way she did, Laurel would never want him to be trapped in a relationship like this. Oliver Queen deserved better.
“That’s enough!” she snapped, cutting Felicity off before she could get any other word in.
“I honestly don’t know why you even agreed to date him at this point if this is what you think of him, but I am done listening to this. Oliver is smart and resourceful. He is a great strategist and an incredible leader, and he has always pulled through and had our backs. He’s always done the best he can to keep us and our city safe. And just because he doesn’t understand as much of that computer-tech nonsense as you do, that doesn’t make him any less intelligent. In fact, he is far more clever than you give him credit for and he does not deserve to be insulted and belittled like this. So, unless the next words to come out of your mouth are an apology, I suggest you keep it shut!”
In the silence that followed, a pinfall would have been deafening. All that could be heard was Laurel’s labored breathing as she stared Felicity down, daring her to say anything else. Felicity in turn didn’t say anything for a while. First her eyes were open wide in shock, but then they narrowed, as if they were studying Laurel’s expression. Then they widened again, her eyebrows rising on her forehead.
“You still want him. You’re still in love with Oliver.” she said, first barely more than a whisper and then rising to full volume.
“That’s why you’ve been defending him. You want him back. You want him to take you back.”
In any other situation, Laurel would have been horrified to have let that secret slip. It had the potential to destroy the team and it was meant to stay hidden, so it could harm no one. But right now, she could not care less. She was long past giving a damn about what Felicity might think of her.
“I should feel surprised that you think so low of me, but I’m not.”
And with that, Laurel too headed for the elevator out of the bunker. If she stayed here any longer, she was quite sure she would break either something or someone.
*
Oliver had retreated to a rooftop precisely in order to avoid any of the others tracking him down. He should have known that wouldn’t stop his little sister.
“Hey. Are you okay?” she asked.
Oliver didn’t turn to face her, simply listening to her footsteps as Thea walked up to him.
“I… I don’t know.” he said.
“I mean, she’s right.”
“No she’s not!”
The anger in his sister’s voice had Oliver turning to face her, eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Ollie, everything Felicity said back there is either a lie or blown so far out of context that it might as well be one.” she stated firmly.
Oliver sighed. Thea had joined the team a relatively short time ago, so he supposed she hadn’t seen how it worked with him as a part of it that much. He shook his head with a smile that was far more somber than it should have been.
“Thea, come on. I mean, it takes me like, ten minutes just to boot up the base computers. Meanwhile, Felicity does it in two seconds. And I don’t even understand half the words she uses when she’s talking about tech.”
“Who cares if you’re not a tech genius? There’s more to what we do than just computers. And you’re a great strategist.”
“Am I?” Oliver questioned.
“My plans haven’t really gone that well. It was my idea to hide that Malcolm was your father, which allowed him to take you away with no issue. I let Slade play me like a fiddle for months. And my plan to take down Ra’s turned the entire team against me.”
“So what? You think you should just do as Felicity says and let her do the thinking while you just punch the bad guys?”
Oliver turned away, looking back out at the city. He had been fighting for three years now, and it felt like he had barely made any headway. Every time, it was like it all blew up in his face. Perhaps that meant he shouldn’t be the one fighting this fight.
“Maybe if I did, less people would get hurt.”
There were a few moments of silence before Thea spoke again.
“Well, I don’t see Ra’s around. And last I checked, Slade Wilson was locked up tight in a bunker on a deserted island.”
Oliver turned slightly to look at his sister.
“Do I wish you managed to come up with some different plans sometimes? Yes.” she continued.
“But I also can’t really think of one either. So if you’re a dumb idiot, what does that make me?”
“Thea, that’s not what I…”
“Ah-pah-pah. I’m not done yet.” Thea interrupted.
“Look, you’ve made some mistakes, but that’s part of being human. And I also remember a time when you had the entire city scrambling around trying to find the Arrow’s identity, and they didn’t have a clue until Ra’s tipped off Lance.”
Oliver blinked. He hadn’t really thought about the first time he’d been accused of being a vigilante in a long time. And even back then he hadn’t lingered too much on it. It was all about misdirection. A classic trick in the spywork manual. But his little sister clearly wasn’t finished yet, so he stayed quiet.
“And look at all the different trick arrows you’ve come up with. We have more types of arrowheads down at the base than there are bullet calibers in the world. And yes, I did check with John. And even outside of being a vigilante, you are one of the smartest, most resourceful and creative people I know. Remember that one time where I really wanted to go watch that scary movie, so you came up with that plan to climb out the window so we could sneak out?”
Oliver did remember. It was simultaneously one of the greatest accomplishments of his youth and one of his biggest failures (because he had failed to account for his sister potentially having nightmares).
“Mom was so furious when she found out.” he recalled, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.
Thea lowered her head, though there was a smile on her face too.
“Yeah well, five year old me should have known better than to push you into that.” she admitted.
“But my point is, you are smart and clever and cunning and an improvisational genius. And just because you’re not a master hacker that does not make you worth any less. Nor does it make you just a dumb brute. And if Felicity can’t see that, then that’s her problem.”
Oliver nodded along. Because she was right after all. Maybe over the last three years it had become easier to let Felicity handle the research and the tech side and he had stopped paying attention. And then each time he was told that he didn’t have the intelligence to do it he believed it, because why else would he not be doing it? But Thea was right. Because he had survived Lian Yu and Waller and Kovar. And you didn’t do that by being stupid or just a simple bruiser. Once upon a time he’d been confident in his skills. Maybe he needed to be like that again.
“Thanks, Speedy. I needed that.”
His sister’s smile turned into a full-on grin.
“Hey, that’s what little sisters are for.” she said.
“So, what now? I’m not letting you go back to the loft. Not while she’s there.”
Oliver grimaced, but didn’t dispute her words. He was in no rush to go back to any building housing Felicity anytime soon. Not after just learning what she thought of him.
“I was planning on just improvising something at the base. I’ve done it before.”
Thea immediately shook her head.
“Yeah no. That’s not happening.” she declared.
“How about you come back to the apartment with me? We can make you a bed on the couch. I’m sure Laurel and Sara won’t mind.”
Oliver hesitated a bit. He didn’t want to intrude, especially not in Laurel’s home. But aside from that, the base was pretty much the only option. And Thea had already made it clear that she wouldn’t accept that answer. So he allowed himself to be led down from the rooftop and driven to Laurel and Thea’s apartment.
Once there, the newly resurrected Sara was the one to greet them at the door.
“Hey, Ollie.”
“Hi.” Oliver replied.
“Sorry about this. I don’t wanna be a bother.”
Sara waved her hand dismissively.
“It’s no big deal. Laurel already told me what happened.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, she had a lot to say.” Sara said with a slight grimace.
“Anyway, we’ll help you get settled in. Make yourself at home.”
Oliver was still a bit hesitant, but he nodded and allowed the others to help him make a rudimentary bed on the couch.
*
Laurel was a bit surprised when she woke up to hear animated chatter coming from the living room. She discovered that it was a pleasant surprise though, when she walked in to see Thea and her sister chatting away with wide smiles while Oliver prepared breakfast in the kitchen, occasionally chiming in on the conversation. Though a bit bewildered, Laurel smiled as well and joined the group. She was glad to see that Oliver seemed to be in much higher spirits than the previous night.
The surprises continued when she came down to the bunker later in the day. Instead of being near the training dummies or practicing his aim with the tennis ball launcher, Oliver was instead sat at the computers in what was usually Felicity’s spot. She sent a questioning look towards John, but he merely shrugged. So Laurel walked up to Oliver.
“Hey. What’re you up to?” she asked gently.
Oliver glanced over his shoulder and gave her a brief smile.
“Hey. Just doing some research, trying to dig up leads on the Ghosts. I have a program trying to trace back Ray’s message so that we can establish communications, but I’m having to use some older resources so it’s taking a while.” he explained.
It wasn’t the response Laurel expected, but that didn’t stop her from giving Oliver a bright smile in return. She knew that at some point it had been him doing his own research into targets for the List, so it was great to see him again having enough confidence to do that research himself instead of delegating. And as odd as it was to see him in the seat that she had grown so used to seeing Felicity in, clearly he wasn’t having too much difficulty operating the systems himself. Even if he occasionally frowned and seemed to go back on something he’d clicked, Laurel couldn’t help but feel proud. Because for once he had listened to her instead of the people trying to put him down.
With her curiosity satisfied, Laurel moved away and changed into her workout clothes. She was just finishing up a sparring session with Thea, when the last person she wanted to see entered the base. Unsurprisingly, Felicity’s eyes immediately locked onto Oliver.
“Uh, what exactly do you think you’re doing?” she asked.
“Research.” Oliver replied, not even bothering to turn around.
Felicity scoffed.
“Is that supposed to be funny?”
“No.”
That seemed to actually stun Felicity for a few moments. Based on what they had seen the previous night, Felicity had grown used to Oliver not really pushing back against her. But Laurel had a feeling she was in for a rude awakening.
“Oliver, this is not the time for jokes. I need to get on the computers so I can keep tracing Ray’s distress call.”
“There’s no need. I’ve had a program tracing back the signal from Ray’s message. It should be done soon.”
Barely two seconds after he’d finished speaking, the computer chimed. An image flickered on one of the monitors, looking like there was something trying to establish a video connection. But before it could stabilize Oliver quickly shut it down, then began tapping on a particular key. He tapped at regular intervals, then stopped for a moment before tapping again.
“What are you doing? That was Ray! Oliver, move now!”
“Shh.”
Felicity sputtered.
“Don’t shush me! We need to get the video back up so we can contact Ray!”
“Felicity, I’m trying to listen.” Oliver interrupted sharply.
Silence followed, though Laurel suspected a part of it was because Felicity was way too shocked to be able to actually form a response. They all watched as he repeated the process a few more times before a series of beeps started coming from the computer. Oliver immediately moved to get some paper and started writing on it. And Laurel began to guess at what John seemed to have figured out.
“Is that… morse code?”
“Yes.”
Thea’s eyes widened and Laurel noticed a smile starting to pull at the corner of her mouth.
“You’re using morse code to talk to Ray!”
“Why?” Felicity inquired.
“Why use an outdated means of communication? It would be much easier to have just used a video connection so we could actually talk to him.”
“Because we don’t know who else could be listening or watching.” Oliver explained.
“Whoever it is that has Ray will likely not have left him unguarded. Video calls can be loud and they would notice Ray is talking with someone. This way they’re less likely to notice.”
“And if they do, they might not understand what’s being said.” Laurel realized.
“Exactly.”
There was another long moment of silence, Felicity looking towards each of them in turn. Laurel tensed up slightly at the way the other woman looked at her in particular, with brows furrowed and narrowed eyes.
“Is this revenge?” she finally said.
“Is this your way of getting back at me? Trying to make me feel obsolete? Because if so, you’ve made your point.”
Laurel felt a spark of anger flare up within her. Did Felicity really think Oliver was that petty? That he would do something with the sole purpose of making someone else feel lesser? However, Oliver spoke before she could give Felicity a piece of her mind.
“This is me giving you a chance to take a moment to breathe, Felicity. You need to rest.”
Felicity scoffed.
“Oh don’t even start! I’m getting the message loud and clear. And you know what? I’m done with this. I’m done trying to help you clean up your messes. Laurel can have you.”
A small drop of fear joined the mixture whirling within Laurel. Sure, Diggle and Felicity may now know her best kept secret, but she knew Diggle wouldn’t have thrown her under the bus and she was way past the point of caring about anything Felicity did. Oliver though, he wasn’t meant to know this. Even if it wasn’t for the sake of his relationship, which was frankly in shambles right now, Laurel knew for a fact that he didn’t feel the same way and telling him would serve no purpose other than making him feel guilty. Fortunately, Oliver didn’t seem to pick up on Felicity’s words, or if he did he was choosing not to comment on them.
“If you feel like you can’t be part of this team anymore, that’s okay.” Oliver told her.
Silence followed. For a long time no one dared to say anything. It was like everyone else in the bunker was holding their breath while Oliver and Felicity had their standoff. At first, Felicity’s glare was as harsh as ever. But contrary to what she seemed to have expected, what had become the norm whenever she was upset about something, Oliver didn’t back down. His gaze wasn’t cold or cruel, but it was very clear in how steadfast it was. And Laurel watched as slowly but surely Felicity’s confidence began to erode. By the time she broke the silence, Laurel could swear she saw the slightest quivering in her lips.
“So that’s it? We’re just ending this here?” she asked before harshly scrubbing at her eyes and steeling herself again.
“Fine. I suppose I should have seen it coming after last night. I did dare to question the mighty Oliver Queen after all.”
Laurel felt herself bristle, but Oliver spoke up before she could.
“If you think that this is happening because my ego is so fragile that I can’t handle criticism, then I think you really have the wrong idea about what sort of person I am.” he said, voice firm and uncompromising.
“I’m doing this because you’re burning yourself out and need rest. That’s what a team is for, to pick up the slack when you need a breather. So go home, rest and recover.”
“You really think I’ll come back after this?”
“I think that if you truly care about saving the city, you will take my advice and come back refreshed and with a clear head. And if I’m wrong, then it’s clear our goals don’t align anymore, which means it’s probably best we go our separate ways. Because I’m done pretending that I’m ever going to stop fighting for this city. Or that I am less than what I am.”
It was rare to see Felicity at a loss for words. But it seemed Oliver disproving all of the misconceptions she had formed about him was enough to do it. Laurel took no pride or joy in watching Felicity’s teary face turn away as she walked out. But she would be lying if she said she didn’t breathe a sigh of relief when the elevator doors closed. She had a suspicion that Oliver felt the same way, judging by the way his shoulders relaxed when he turned towards them.
“I’m sorry you guys had to see that.” he said with a slight wince.
“It’s fine, Ollie. I think this is something that just needed to happen. Best to just get it over with.” Laurel told him.
“Yeah.” Thea agreed.
“I gotta say, it was cool seeing the Team Leader side of you again. It suits you.”
Oliver chuckled lightly.
“Thanks, Speedy.”
There were a few moments of silence where everyone simply allowed the tension to dissipate. Then John brought them all back to focus on their task.
“So, what did Ray say?”
“Darhk’s the one who has him.” Oliver answered.
Everyone immediately froze. Of all the possibilities they had considered, this was among the worst.
“Did he say where and why?” Thea asked.
Oliver shook his head.
“Not fully. I didn’t want to keep the connection up for too long, just to be safe. But I’m willing to bet it’s got something to do with the technology in his suit. As for the location, Ray managed to give us some coordinates. It’s not an address, but it’s something to work with.”
“That’s definitely more than what we were working with before.” Laurel pointed out.
Oliver nodded in agreement.
“Yes, but it’s not everything yet. We’ve still got some digging to do. And we’ll do it old school, minimize the chance of Darhk catching on. Let’s get to work.
*
In the end they managed to locate Ray. It took a bit longer since they weren’t tracing the distress signal to its origin point directly, but thanks to them using more old fashioned methods breaking him out was laughably easy. Darhk never saw them coming, so he hadn’t prepared an adequate number of guards. It felt good to be the one with the advantage for once. Of course Ray had been a little confused when he noticed Felicity wasn’t among the rescue party and had left the team. But contrary to what Oliver had feared, no matter how subconsciously, Ray very much had not shared Felicity’s views and in fact ended up praising his creativity in maintaining the rescue covert. He supposed he could be glad for that.
Unfortunately, there was one thing that hadn’t quite worked out: Sara. No matter how much they tried, she couldn’t seem to find a way to maintain restraint when in the middle of battle. Laurel had hoped maybe just taking a break, or perhaps consulting with John Constantine, could help. But Sara seemed certain that the best course of action for her was to leave, to travel in search of something that could quiet the storm inside her. In a way, Oliver could relate.
So that led to him helping the youngest of the Lance sisters pack. Laurel was busy at the DA’s office and Oliver still hadn’t found a place to stay aside from her couch, so he was the natural best choice. As he helped her gather different clothing items and such, his mind kept going over the events of the last few days. At first he had had doubts about his decision. In hindsight, the awareness of how much his trust in his own choices had been undermined was incredibly frustrating. But the more he thought about it, the more sure he was that he had made the right call. If he were on Lian Yu, he never would have accepted working with someone who made him doubt himself so consistently. Sure, Slade and Shado had challenged him, but that had always been in an effort to teach him the skills he needed to survive. What did it say that the man who killed his mother had thought he was more capable than the woman he had planned on proposing to? Of course, he knew that this wasn’t the island anymore and he didn’t, probably even shouldn’t, do everything the same way he had then. But that certainty and confidence in himself had never been a mistake.
“Something on your mind, Ollie?” Sara asked, pulling Oliver out of his reflection.
He shook his head.
“Just thinking.”
“Wondering if you made the right decision?”
“No. I think letting Felicity go was definitely the right call.”
Sara nodded in agreement.
“Yeah. It really felt a bit weird to see her micromanaging so much of the mission.” she said.
“Don’t get me wrong, she knew her stuff with computers. But that was her field, you know. She wasn’t really a strategist, didn’t really understand how it all worked in the field. Not like you.”
Oliver sighed and sat down on the guest bed.
“I’m not sure I feel like such a great strategist at the moment. Alex is panicking because so much of the mayoral campaign was resting on my relationship with Felicity and I still haven’t come up with a solution.”
It seemed like such a shallow idea now.
“Maybe instead of trying to campaign with some superficial romance, you should run for the same reason you wear that hood.” Sara suggested.
“Saving the city. And do it earnestly, one hundred percent, screw whatever anyone else thinks. That has always been one of your greatest strengths.”
She paused for a moment, chuckling to herself.
“Now that I think about it, I’m not even sure Felicity was ever able to match you in that. I don’t really know why she did any of this. Maybe that was a sign it wasn’t meant to be.”
“Maybe.” Oliver agreed.
“I suppose the city could use that. Someone willing to stand up for it, without fear or reservations.”
“Just make sure you don’t do it alone.” Sara added with a smile.
“That’s what the team is for.”
She rolled her eyes.
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
“I don’t really have that many options.”
Sara leaned forward and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“I told you before, Ollie: find someone without a mask.”
With a sigh Oliver ran a hand through his hair.
“I tried. Didn’t really work out.”
He glanced to the side to see Sara sporting a smile that was equally sad and amused.
“I didn’t mean a literal mask. Felicity was hiding as much of herself as the rest of us. She had her own kind of darkness inside her. You need someone who doesn’t hide who they are, the same way you don’t.”
Despite his best efforts, Oliver didn’t manage to hold back a snort.
“Sara, I’m a masked vigilante.”
“I think we both know that you are your truest self whenever you wear that hood, Ollie.”
That was… one way to look at it. Oliver couldn’t really say that she was wrong. After all, he used to claim that the island had simply stripped away all of the things that he wasn’t. If the vigilante was what came back, then he supposed that’s who he was. There was another thing that came to his mind, another set of Sara’s words. Find someone without a mask. And by that she had meant someone true to themselves. Maybe it was his self-destructive tendencies or maybe the world just had a really twisted sense of humor, but the first person who popped into his mind was Laurel. Laurel, who never minced words or held back to spare someone’s ego. Laurel, who had always stood for what she believed in, no matter how many people told her it was pointless. Laurel, who even before she wore a domino mask was already a fighter, who thrived as the Black Canary even after he tried to stand in her way. Laurel, who had always felt like home, even when everything else became foreign to him.
“What if I’ve already found that someone, and also lost her?”
Because he had. He had driven her away, even after everything she had forgiven him for. He had lashed out and repeatedly declared that his future wasn’t with her, at the same time as his heart screamed at him to take those words back. All because he had been afraid to see her end like so many of the other people he cared about. Because he would rather be alone in a world with Laurel, than to live in a world without her.
Sara merely raised an eyebrow at him.
“How are you so sure you’ve lost her?” she asked.
Oliver sighed.
“I’ve screwed up way too much. No rational person would ever take someone like me back after all I’ve done.”
“There’s nothing rational about love, Ollie.” Sara replied with a small smile.
“How about you stop making decisions based on what you assume other people feel and start making them based on how you feel deep down? Oliver, ever since Lian Yu I’ve never seen you give up and quit. No matter how stacked the odds were against you, you always pushed through and kept fighting. Why are you treating this any differently?”
Maybe because he didn’t want this to be another fight. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to force anyone to accept him, but instead wanted that person to freely choose to be with him. And maybe he had enough self-awareness to know that he was very much not worth choosing.
“She deserves better.” he answered.
Sara scoffed.
“Shouldn’t she get to decide what she deserves? Besides, is it that hard to believe that someone could genuinely love you, even with all the guilt, trauma and darkness?”
A bittersweet smile formed on Oliver’s lips.
“Sometimes.”
“Then maybe you should be with the person who makes you forget those times. The person who lifts you up instead of tearing you down. And for once, use some of that unbreakable survival spirit. You made it through five years of hell to make it up to her. Don’t give up on the home stretch.”
Oliver’s eyes widened at those last words.
“I never said who it was.”
“You didn’t have to, Ollie. I know you too well by now.” Sara replied with a smirk.
“Now come on. Less talking, more packing.”
Oliver gladly got back to work. He desperately needed something to keep his hands busy. And he imagined he wouldn’t be a source of good conversation in his current state. Not with so many things to think about and reflect on.
*
At first Laurel felt a bit guilty when the thought crossed her mind, but now she could freely admit that things were running far smoother after Felicity’s departure. Sure, some things weren’t as easy as before. Oliver didn’t always have some magical computer program to solve every problem and there were avenues that were closed to them because of encryptions they couldn’t break. But all that meant was that they had gotten creative, started doing stakeouts and in person tracking rather than tracing cellphone signals. Laurel found that she actually kind of preferred it this way. It gave her a bigger sense of control over what they were doing. It made it all feel more manageable. It also helped that there was far less arguing while in the field. The banter was left for the bunker. Out in the field, the comms were kept to mission chatter only, except for the occasional wisecrack or joke during stakeouts. Oliver himself had even surprised them every now and then by letting his wit shine.
Oliver. The change had been most noticeable in him. He seemed more confident, more sure of himself. It reminded Laurel of the way he had been when he had first returned to Star City, then Starling City. The campaign, despite how much Alex had stressed, had been going perfectly, stronger than ever. As it turned out, the people of Star were far more willing to vote for a mayor who genuinely listened and talked to them like equals than for one who campaigned as a reformed playboy. Laurel found it very telling that Darhk had ended up resorting to threatening a child in order to force Oliver to drop out of the race. Oliver also seemed to overall be the happiest he had been since returning home, smiling more frequently and actually joining her and Thea in going out for meals relatively often. That is when he wasn’t making them a home cooked meal himself. He was still living in her apartment, now sleeping in the guest room. And Laurel didn’t think she would ever complain because not only was Oliver very good company, he also just so happened to be an incredible cook and it felt way too nice to wake up to pancakes for breakfast rather than cereal. He had also been in high spirits recently after taking a trip to visit one of Constantine’s magical contacts in order to learn some techniques to counter Darhk’s magic. Laurel reckoned the trip had gone better than he had hoped, if it wasn’t an outright success. It proved to be so when they finally managed to catch Darhk and send him to Iron Heights.
There were some things about him that left her confused though. Namely the way he interacted with her. It started off small, with him giving her a few extra pointers during training and sparring. Which wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary, but given how hard she’d had to fight just to even be on the team, it felt incredibly strange to actually have Oliver be encouraging about this. But it hadn’t stopped there. Because then he had started discussing work with her, and even asking her opinion on things regarding the campaign. And of course, Laurel had seen no reason not to talk about it with him, despite how odd it felt for him to ask for her opinion, of all people. And then he started bringing her coffee when she was working late at night. He’d fumbled it a bit the first few times, bringing her the ultra-caffeinated variant she used to drink in college rather than the much more sensible one she drank now. But he figured it out. And now Laurel wasn’t sure how it had all progressed to this, but she found herself relying on him more than anyone else. She found herself going to him for casual conversation, she found herself smiling whenever she saw him working in the kitchen, she found herself expecting and looking forward to him handing her a cup of coffee, she found herself blushing and feeling her heart flutter whenever he touched her to correct her form.
And as good as it all felt, in a way it also hurt. It hurt because it felt so close to what her heart craved. Laurel could almost imagine this being her future, with a few extra additions. Like getting to fall asleep and wake up in his arms. Like getting to casually kiss him just to remind him that he was loved. Like getting to tell him exactly how proud she was of the man he’d become and everything he had done for the city. But she knew she couldn’t. Because as much as Laurel was certain that Oliver Queen was the love of her life, she knew she wasn’t the love of his. And if Oliver knew how she truly felt, it would spook him and he would flee, leaving her alone again. The universe seemed to really like this recurring twisted joke. So far Oliver hadn’t noticed, and he seemed to not remember Felicity’s off-handed comment about her. But Laurel probably should have known better.
It all changed on the night of the riot at Iron Heights. All four of them had immediately recognized it as Darhk’s escape plan, so they had rushed over to stop him. Only they hadn’t counted on a betrayal from John’s brother, which then allowed Darhk to regain his magic and freeze them all in place. And of course, once they were at his mercy, he decided that Laurel would be the first one he would take his anger out on. She had been certain that she would die, already trying to come to terms with the fact. But then Oliver had stepped in, using his limited magic training to resist Darhk’s magic long enough to force him to retreat. But that wasn’t what stood out to Laurel the most. It was what she had heard him whisper when he stepped in between her and Darhk.
“Not my Pretty Bird.”
Pretty Bird. He had started calling her that after Christmas. A little joke about her codename. Laurel hadn’t minded. In fact, a part of her actually thoroughly enjoyed it. It had made her late night fantasizing easier. But the way he said it that night, the implications of it, were something that she couldn’t ignore. So once they were back home, all with their cuts and bruises properly bandaged and iced, and once Thea had finally gone to bed, Laurel approached Oliver and sat down next to him on the couch. There were a couple minutes of silence while she pondered how to start.
“My Pretty Bird.” she eventually said.
“What?”
“That’s what you called me tonight at Iron Heights.” Laurel clarified.
“Oliver, why did you call me that?”
It was the quietest panicking Laurel had seen, but the way Oliver’s eyes darted across the room was definitely panicking.
“I.. well, it’s your nickname.” he said in a poor attempt to excuse himself.
“Yes. But you also said “my” right before it. My Pretty Bird.”
Again there was silence as Oliver’s hands fidgeted in his lap. Laurel was already preparing herself for what would come next: his escape attempt. Only there wasn’t one.
“Remember when I said I was done chasing after you?” Oliver asked with a sigh.
Laurel did remember. She still felt a sharp pain in her heart whenever she thought back on that argument. Those words still haunted her in her nightmares.
“Yes.” she answered, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I lied.”
Laurel’s jaw went slack with shock.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever stop chasing after you, Laurel. At least subconsciously. I love you like I’ve never loved anyone else.” Oliver said.
“You made it clear that you didn’t feel the same though, so I guess I started trying to look for you in other people. Which didn’t work out. But after what happened with Felicity I… I had a change of perspective. I started wondering if maybe I had given up too soon. If what I thought was a certainty was just me giving into my fears. First I had to make sure these feelings were real, that I wasn’t just trying to rush into something because I felt pressured to be in a relationship. But once I confirmed that… I guess I just tried to be better. Tried to finally actually make things up to you like I told myself I would seven years ago. Be a better partner, a better leader and a better friend.”
Laurel found herself stunned into silence. This had to be a dream, right? This couldn’t actually be happening.
“But let me be clear, Laurel, I don’t expect anything from you.” Oliver continued.
“I know I have given you more than enough reasons not to choose me. And what happened tonight was a slip up. I promise, regardless of how I feel, I have no intention of acting on any of it without your consent. I would rather just be in your life in whatever way you’ll have me, be that as a friend or…”
“I lied too.”
Laurel’s words stopped Oliver’s rambling dead in its tracks. The apartment got deathly quiet and Laurel struggled to resist the impulse to hide. As it was, she could already feel her cheeks burning.
“What?”
“When I said I couldn’t remember a time where I loved you. I lied.” Laurel revealed.
“I was angry and grieving and lashing out. So I said what I thought would hurt the most. But the truth is, whenever I am honest with myself, I realize that you’re the person my heart belongs to. I don’t think I could ever forget loving you, Ollie, because I have always loved you. And I think I always will, no matter how much it might hurt.”
And there it was, her deepest and darkest secret laid bare for him to see. The shadow that had haunted her for three years while the world made her watch as Oliver seemingly moved on. The truth she had tried so hard to keep hidden because of how convinced she was that Oliver would never choose her again. And now he knew.
“This whole time…”
“Yes.” she cut him off.
Oliver gently and slowly reached his hand towards her cheek, giving her plenty of time to move away. But Laurel didn’t. Instead she leaned into it, seeking the grounding presence of his touch.
“I’m sorry. I hurt you so much.” he said, his voice soft but pained.
“I’ve hurt you too.” Laurel pointed out with a bittersweet smile.
Oliver shook his head.
“You’ve given me far more strength than pain. The strength to survive five years of hell. The strength to fight off Darhk’s magic. I’m sorry I couldn’t do the same for you.”
Now it was Laurel’s turn to reach out a steadying hand to him.
“Oh Ollie, if only you knew how much strength you give me without even trying.” she told him with a brighter smile.
She was relieved to see him mirroring it.
“So… what’s next?” Oliver asked.
Laurel’s thumb traced his stubble as she pondered his question.
“Well, we know how we both feel. I guess the question is just whether we’re brave enough to try again. To do it right this time.”
She scooted closer to him on the couch. Oliver didn’t move away.
“I’m tired of being trapped on an island.” he said.
“Then come home. Come home to me.” Laurel replied.
Then she leaned in, and it was with great relief that she noticed Oliver leaning in too, allowing their lips to touch. This wasn’t like the other kisses they’d had since his return though. This wasn’t a blaze of passion in the aftermath of a rash and poorly thought out decision. This one felt like soft rain on her skin after a month of wandering the desert with no water. It felt gentle and delicate, both of them simply expressing their joy at having found each other. At knowing they didn’t have to be alone, because even if the whole world turned on him, Laurel would always choose Oliver just like he would always choose her. When they separated, Oliver was smiling widely in a way she hadn’t seen since before the shipwreck. Laurel imagined she was probably doing the same.
“Always, Pretty Bird.”