Chapter 1: PROLOGUE
Chapter Text
”I don’t bother anyone.
Nervous when I stand.
Choking on the circumstance.
Only smoking secondhand.”
- Choker | Twenty One Pilots
─────────── ⋆⋅P R O L O G U E⋅⋆ ────────────
”Tyler, you need to wake up!”
The voice cuts through his dreamless slumber, obviously his mother.
Tyler Joseph rolls over in bed, catching a quick glimpse of golden sunlight fluttering through the blinds. Morning already?
He groans, burying his face in his gray, cotton pillow. The last thing Tyler wants to do is climb out of bed right now.
Today is the day he finds out about his future— where he will live, who he’s meant to be. It is aptitude testing day; something he had been dreading for years now.
“Give me five more minutes!” Tyler calls back. His voice is gritty and heavy with sleep.
The man hadn’t gotten the greatest night of slumber, his mind tending to make up the worst possible scenarios. With his constant paranoia and paralyzing anxiety, Tyler found himself believing that he was Divergent. That there was something wrong with the way his brain operates.
Tyler always thought that there was something off about himself, and ever since learning about Divergence, he was terrified that it might be the answer.
It can’t be, right?
Almost everyone gets the faction of their origin on their test results, so Tyler was most likely going to end up back in Abnegation; forced to spend the rest of his life in bland, gray clothing.
He didn’t want that for himself.
He longed to be free. The boy’s heart twists at the thought of spending the rest of his life in this concrete house.
The sound of his mother opening the bedroom door snaps him out of his thoughts.
“Tyler. Up.” she commands him, although her voice is still somewhat gentle. “Now.”
Tyler sits up in his bed, leaning back on his elbows. “What time is it?”
His mother, a 45 year old woman with straw colored hair and bright blue eyes, shakes her head at the kid. “Time for you to get dressed. You have your test today.”
Right.
Time for doomsday.
Tyler might as well be getting ready for his own execution at this rate.
He is completely fucked over, regardless of his aptitude test results. If Tyler is told to go somewhere else— a different faction like Erudite or Dauntless— he would be forced to leave behind everything he’s ever known. Change cripples him, and he wouldn’t survive a week in a different faction before becoming Factionless.
But if he’s told to stay?
Well, that may be the worst possible outcome. If Tyler is forced to return to Abnegation, living a life full of complete submission, he would suffocate. He longs for the freedom of a different faction.
Living in Abnegaiton— a world devoid of color— would kill him faster than any other faction would. Even Dauntless, the faction of warriors.
He wants to go somewhere warmer; a faction filled with blinding, bright colors. Tyler is tired of living a life of black and white, spending every day in the same drab clothing. Goddamnit, he is not meant for this.
Tyler wants to start a new life for himself. Even though it’s scary, and he might end up failing, at least he’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that he tried to leave. At least there was a feeble attempt at freedom, right?
Freedom.
That’s something that he’ll never feel if he stays in Abnegation.
Maybe his fear of being sent home will drive him forward, bringing him to a completely different faction and giving him the strength to survive.
So, Tyler crawls out of bed. He can’t sit and wallow in self pity for the rest of his life. Then he’ll really be stuck in Abnegation forever.
Standing up, he stretches his arms upwards like a cat. His shoulders pop and his back cracks in about four different places, causing him to make a small, satisfied sound.
“I’m up, Ma.” he turns to his mother, giving her a small smile in reassurance. “I just gotta get dressed.”
She stares at her son, tears pooling in her aqua colored eyes. Reaching a hand out, she places it on Tyler’s cheek.
Please, don’t… Tyler thinks to himself, not wanting his mother to get too close. Having that sort of closeness will force him to stay in Abnegation, and he can’t do that.
“Remember, no matter what happens today,” she says to him, choosing her words very carefully. “You are always going to be my son, and I am so proud of you.”
If Tyler wasn’t already emotional about the concept of aptitude testing, then he sure as hell is now.
“Thanks, Ma.” his voice cracks, leaning into his mother’s touch. “I appreciate it.”
“Of course.” she bows her head. His mother’s hand lingers on his cheek for a moment, thumb brushing against his jawline. “My firstborn son. My baby…”
Her baby.
Of course Tyler was always going to be his mother’s son. He’s proud enough of his faction, and even prouder of his family.
That’s just the thing, though.
Faction before blood, always.
If he leaves, he loses his family. He’ll have to find other people in his new faction; individuals that will become like family.
Tyler must master the art of letting go, no matter how difficult it may be.
Regardless of how much it stings.
“Will you be angry if I leave?” he asks his mother, wanting to know her opinion. It’s not like it’ll sway whether or not Tyer makes the decision to leave. It would just be nice to have someone else’s opinion.
His mother shakes her head. “I think you need to follow your heart, Tyler.”
And with that, she quietly exits the room.
Tyler is once again alone with his thoughts, forced to listen to the loud, roaring voices inside of his head. Follow his heart… what is that even supposed to mean? Tyler doesn’t even know what his heart even thinks of the situation. That’s why he asks for advice, longing for someone else to tell him what to do.
Tyler is 18; he doesn’t know how to exist in the world as an adult. Nobody ever taught him what to do. School doesn’t teach him what adulthood looks like— all the education system cares about is bringing honor and glory to the faction system.
He is left to fend for himself.
“Don’t worry.” Tyler whispers, pulling a pair of gray jeans out of his dresser. “The test will tell you what to do.”
His words are an attempt at reassurance, yet they do not work very well.
The test is designed to tell you exactly what faction you belong in. Unless you’re Divergent, then you’re practically screwed no matter what decision you make at the Choosing Ceremony.
That’s just the problem, though.
What if Tyler is Divergent?
Terror shoots through him at the thought.
God, he’s a mess
Tears prick at the corners of his eyes, but Tyler brushes them away with the back of his hand. There is no time for tears this morning. He needs to get ready.
The boy reaches into his top dresser drawer, grabbing a long sleeved, gray collared shirt to match his ugly, drab pants. Hopefully, he won’t have to wear these clothes for much longer.
Tyler looks down at his bare arms. For a moment, he pictures himself in Dauntless, covered in tattoos. Maybe he’d feel comfortable in his own skin if he moved to Dauntless. That’s where he could become a warrior; someone braver than the weakened Abnegation boy that he is right now.
He wants to be brave; Tyler is tired of living a life of service.
Tyler shakes his head. That’s a stupid thought. He’s going to end up right back in Abnegation, forced into a life of service. He covers his chest with the gray shirt, buttoning it to the top. Every inch of his body is covered, save his hands.
That’s the goal of Abnegation; you’re meant to show as little skin as possible. If your arms are out, it distracts from your servitude. Everyone is meant to be uniform; mundane and mindless.
Placing on a pair of gray leather boots, Tyler inhales sharply. This is it; the day that could make or break him.
He glances around at his gray bedroom. Everything is uniform, from the storm cloud colored sheets to the concrete walls. The only difference comes from his brown wooden dresser, the mirror removed to prevent Tyler from looking at himself.
You only have a certain amount of time to look at yourself here in Abnegation— it keeps you selfless. The members of the servant faction don’t really care how they look.
That’s another reason Tyler doesn’t believe he belongs; he cares too much about the way that he looks. Not in an arrogant way, though.
Even though he hates it here, Tyler Joseph could never find an ounce of arrogance inside of his soul. He’s too kind for that.
Well, he’d like to believe that he’s too kind to be cocky.
Tyler places his hand on the cool brass door handle, twisting the knob and entering the rest of his house. Nothing about the living area is different from his bedroom. The couch is gray, so is the coffee table. And the kitchen cabinets. And the rug. The only hint of color comes from the walnut dining table and its matching chairs.
It is a drop of color amidst a dampened, depressing world.
Although the food consumed at this table is bland and flavorless, it signifies hope to Tyler. A small inkling of light.
His mother stands in the kitchen, pouring a boring cup of black coffee for him to drink.
Although Tyler hates the taste— it’s bitter and foul and makes him cough sometimes— he likes the buzz.
Caffeine helps him focus. It is one of the few luxuries that Abnegation allows, besides a bar of bitter dark chocolate at Christmas time or cornbread for a birthday treat.
“Thanks, Ma.” Tyler takes the cup gratefully, leaning over the kitchen counter.
His mother smiles at her son, a melancholy expression. Tyler knows that she’s just worried about him, as mothers tend to be.
But he’s a grown up now. Aptitude testing is his chance to prove that.
“Are you nervous?” she asks him, observing the stiffness of Tyler’s body language.
He glances up at his mother, shrugging slightly. “Something like that.”
She opens her mouth to say something, although she looks slightly uncertain. Almost as if she herself is nervous for Tyler’s results. The thought of that sends an uneasy feeling throughout the boy’s body.
“Are you okay?” Tyler asks his Ma, reaching a hand out and brushing it over her shoulder.
“I just worry about my boy.” Mrs. Joseph says quietly, trying her hardest to put on a brave front. “I know you’ll be just fine, wherever you go.”
Tyler swallows a sip of coffee, placing the cup down on the plain countertop. “I will be.”
He doesn’t believe that; not in the slightest.
Sure, he may figure out how to survive without his family.
But he won’t be “fine”, whatever that is supposed to mean.
“Faction before blood.” His mother’s sweet voice shakes. “I know you’ll make the right choice.”
The boy coughs, clearing his throat. “Yeah. I always do.”
It’s true.
Tyler was probably the closest thing to perfect that you could find. He’s intelligent— smart enough to know that Abnegation isn’t his home.
Tyler keeps his voice gentle. Nobody has ever once seen him cry, nor have they seen him yell. He sticks to his own company, preferring solitude over befriending the other kids in his faction.
It’s not like they’d be able to hang out anyways.
What would be the point of making friends? In Abnegation, you go to school and you go home. If you ever talk to people, it’s just because you’re partnered up with them in a service project.
Tyler is sick of being selfless. He’s sick of having to act like he cares about these people, when deep down he longs for freedom.
His Ma knows that he probably won’t be returning to Abnegation; she can see it in his body language. How much he detests living in a quiet place, dedicating his teen years to serving the factionless and helping old folks across the street.
“Come on.” Mrs Joseph takes his hand, walking her oldest son towards their covered mirror. Tyler knows exactly what’s happening; his allotted time to stare at his reflection.
Tyler inhales shakily, watching with curious eyes as his mother opened the cupboard. He catches a quick glimpse at the mirror, and instinctively looks down at the floor.
You aren’t allowed to see yourself here.
It’s too selfish.
“Go ahead,” she says, her tone gentle. “You only get a little bit of time, you know.”
“Yeah.” Tyler shuffles his feet.
He forces his eyes upward. Instead of seeing his current self, however, Tyler is greeted with the 12 year old version. The boy who was once so full of light and hope, wanting nothing more than to serve those around him. That version of Tyler had so much passion for Abnegation.
What happened?
Why did he change?
Spending 18 years living in a place where the color is sucked out of your blood does that to someone. Tyler can feel the life leaving his honey colored eyes, and he hates it.
Would he be making little Tyler proud by leaving Abnegation, or would he be disappointed?
The man that Tyler is becoming isn't anything like he thought he’d be six years ago. However, is change really that much of a bad thing?
It scares him worse than anything, but Tyler craves it. Staying stagnant would kill him. He’s meant to be on the move.
The determination in the eyes of his 12 year old self confirms that much. Whether or not younger Tyler’s determination was fueled by adoration of Abnegation, he has no clue.
But he needs to leave.
He has to run, if it’s the last thing he does.
The cupboard slams shut, and suddenly Tyler is left alone. The spunky, young, brown eyed boy disappears.
Ironic, right?
“That’s it.” his Ma says. “I’m sorry, Tyler. Rules are rules.”
Those “rules” are a whole lot of bullshit. Things that Tyler doesn’t want to listen to anymore.
Tyler’s sister comes clamoring down the stairs, wearing the same shirt as him. Instead of pants, however, she had a gray skirt that covered every inch of her lower body.
“Hi, Mads.” Tyler says, his voice slightly gloomy. He straightens up, walking back towards the kitchen and sipping his coffee.
She pushes a loose strand of brunette hair out of her face, grinning up at him. “Hi. You okay?”
He nods, straightening out the tuck on his shirt. “Big day today, huh?”
“Yeah.” replies his sister, drinking a large sip out of her own coffee. “It’s okay to be nervous, though. I am too.”
Tyler smiles at Maddie, his twin sister. Both of them are participating in aptitude testing today, meaning his Ma is going to potentially lose both of her children. His heart twists at the thought.
Maddie finishes her coffee quickly, obviously aware that the two of them will run late if she doesn’t.
“Let’s go,” she says, taking Tyler’s hand in her own. “Before the Erudite kids beat us.”
His little sister giggles at him, glancing down at the floor. The mention of Erudite seems to ignite something inside of her.
The siblings leave the gloomy, concrete slab of a home behind them, walking out into the streets of Abnegation. Once Tyler thinks they’re out of earshot, he turns to his sister
“Erudite, huh?” he asks, trying to disguise his genuine interest with jokes.
Maddie shrugs, a blush forming on her cheeks. “Maybe.”
“You’d leave Ma?” Tyler inquires, keeping his eyes focused on the road ahead of them. He doesn’t want to look at his sister— especially when they’re talking about aptitude testing. That’s a sensitive subject for Tyler. He still doesn’t know what he wants.
“Faction before blood.” replies his sister, a slight bite to her voice. “You know how that is.”
“Not really.” Tyler mutters.
A loud honking sound ricochets in the distance.
The two of them are walking past the train tracks, watching as a shuttle speeds in their direction. Conveniently, the Dauntless kids are jumping off of the moving vehicle, loud whoops and cheers leaving their mouths as they land perfectly on the ground.
Tyler wants that.
Right now, Tyler Joseph’s life is a book that he never wants to read. He’s lost all respect for himself, and in the process, he’s lost his servant’s attitude.
He can’t fucking do it anymore. If he doesn’t turn the page and free himself from the shackles of Abnegation, who’s to say that he ever will?
Maddie stops at the street corner, placing her hands on her hips. “You think I don’t see the way you look at those Dauntless kids?”
“Shut up.” grumbles Tyler, although he knows that she’s right.
He’s always caught himself staring at the Dauntless kids; even before he developed a hatred towards Abnegation. Tyler always thought they were so much cooler than him, wild and free like mustangs in a pasture.
Not that Tyler would know anything about a pasture; everything outside of Chicago had been destroyed hundreds of years ago.
After the war, Chicago was divided up into 5 different factions. It’s how peace was kept. Amity, the kind. Candor, the honest. Erudite, the intelligent. Abnegation, the selfless.
And Dauntless.
The brave.
They protect the city.
Any inking of civilization beyond the city walls is a myth. A story of false hope created by those who wished for a better world. It’s fanciful; childish, really.
Who would actually believe in life beyond the wall?
The Dauntless kids continue to scream, wordless hollers of affirmation towards each other. Tyler longs to join them, jumping off of trains and running towards the school like their life depended on it.
He’s brave enough— maybe he could make it in Dauntless. With thor fierce black clothing and tattooed skin, Tyler thinks that he could become one of them. He loves the city of Chicago so much; not because it hosts Abnegation, but because it is his homeland. Tyler is the type of person who would fight to the death for his home.
Dauntless is fascinating to him. Every single person within that faction is determined to protect the city of Chicago, whether that be through guarding the wall or combating those who defy the city’s authority.
They’re strong.
Maybe Tyler is that way, too.
He barely tips the scale at 153 when dripping wet, but if he were to get some decent food inside of him— meals that weren’t flavorless chicken and plain potatoes— maybe he could get some meat on his bones.
Tyler could become threatening. Menacing. A force to be reckoned with.
“Tyler.” Maddie reaches for his hand as the two of them cross the street, “You’re still staring.”
His eyes snap to the ground.
“I’m sorry.” he whispers, apologizing although he does not feel the need to. “I just… Fuck. I don’t know.”
“You could do it, you know.” murmurs Maddie as the two of them reach their spot in line. “Leave Abnegation. If the test tells you that you need to become Dauntless, you gotta do it.”
Tyler turns to her, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “And you wouldn’t be angry with me…?”
Maddie shakes her head. “Why would I ever be mad at you? God, Tyler. Do you even hear yourself right now?”
She does have a point.
Tyler sounds pretty pathetic, asking everyone around him for advice. He refuses to look inwards, discovering the answers to all of his questions.
Because Tyler’s mind is a terrifying place. A mausoleum of memories he wishes to forget about.
He wants to spend as little time there as possible.
“I’m just nervous.” Tyler says the words in such a way that he sounds like a drone, almost emotionless.
“Don’t be.” Maddie squeezes his hand, rubbing her thumb against her brother’s knuckle. “I’m right there with you, okay? We’re gonna be fine.”
“Hey, Joseph!” a Candor boy in a white, button down shirt with a black tie hollers at him. He has perfectly trimmed brunette hair, and a fake, arrogant smile plastered onto his face.
Tyler’s eyes narrow as he drops his sister’s hand. “Nick.”
“Holding your sister’s hand before the test, huh?” asks Nick, eyes bright at the opportunity to make fun of Tyler.
When Tyler doesn’t say anything in response, Nick jabs at his ribs. The boy doubles over as his opponent hits him, air leaving his lungs.
“Awww, are you scared?” Nick jeers, laughing wildly. A group of Candor kids join in, pointing at Tyler and muttering obscenities under their breath.
“Come on, Stiff.” Nick says. “Everybody knows you’re gonna get Abnegation. You’re nothing special.”
Now that infuriates him.
Tyler believes that he can be so much more than just a Stiff from Abnegation.
“Shut up.” Tyler mutters, catching his breath. He stands up, taking a step towards Nick.
The two of them are nose to nose by now, the Candor boy’s breath hot against Tyler’s cheek.
Nick cocks his head to one side. “What did you just say to me?”
“He told you to shut up.” Maddie joins in, stepping between the boys and shoving Nick backwards. “Do you have a stick up your ass or something?”
“That’s not very kind of you.” Nick jabs a thumb in Maddie’s direction as he speaks. “Stiffs like you should know your place in conversation.”
“I know my place.” Tyler steps in front of his sister, trying to protect her from the angry Candor student. “It seems like you’re the insecure one. Isn’t that right, Candor?”
Nick opens his mouth to say something foul. But before he can speak, the doors to the school open up, and students begin the process of getting their assigned testing room. The boy throws up an obscene gesture in Tyler’s direction, but he returns to his own faction without another word
Maddie turns to her brother. “What was that all about?”
Tyler shrugs, dusting off his shirt. “Nick always has a bone to pick with me. It’s nothing.”
Except it isn’t “nothing”.
Nick has been making fun of Tyler since the two of them were in kindergarten. Now, 13 years later, the Candor man still doesn’t know when enough is enough. He doesn’t have any idea when to quit, and Tyler is his biggest victim.
If Nick ends up in the same faction as Tyler, the two of them are going to have problems.
“Maddie Joseph!” a woman’s robotic voice calls out. Maddie looks at her brother, face suddenly turning very pale. Her little body begins to tremble.
Tyler takes her small face in his hands. “It’s okay, Maddie. It’s just a test.”
He doesn’t believe that; not in the slightest.
But he has to put on a front. Even though the two of them are adults now, Tyler feels the urge to protect his sister.
“I don’t want to leave you alone.” she whispers, tears forming in her eyes. “Ty, I don’t want to leave you…”
“You’re not leaving me.” Tyler whispers, trying his hardest to keep his voice from breaking. “I’ll see you at home for supper.”
“Promise.” Maddie murmurs, pulling apart from her brother and holding out her pinky finger.
Tyler smiles at her, looping his pinky around hers. “I pinky swear it, Mads.”
And with that, his sister turns around, walking into the building and leaving Tyler to wonder what his own aptitude test would look like.
Chapter 2: CHAPTER ONE: THE TEST.
Chapter Text
”I ponder of something terrifying.
Cause this time, there’s no sound to hide behind. . .”
- Car Radio | twenty one pilots
─────────── ⋆⋅CHAPTER ONE⋅⋆ ────────────
“Tyler Joseph.”
That same robotic voice calls his name. Tyler’s eyes snap upward, staring at the door in front of him; taunting him, laughing at him through its brass hinges. The breath hitches in his throat. It’s time to go.
Fear moves him forward. Not fear of the testing itself, though. It’s more of an agonizing terror of what will happen to him after he receives his results. This is it— the moment his life changes forever.
Shoulders squared. Back straight. Breathe.
Inhale, exhale. Over and over again.
Tyler walks through the front doors of his school, placing his hands in his pockets as he does so. He wants to keep some sort of confidence, although he seems it nearly impossible to feel anything except for raw fucking fear.
An Abnegation woman in a gray jumpsuit approaches him. Of course it would be selfless members of Abnegation that volunteer to guide the children to their testing facility.
“Tyler?” she asks. As she does so, a kind smile etches across her face.
Tyler’s shoulders relax slightly. “Hi.”
“Hi, sweetheart.” she says. Her voice is sweet like honey, a brief reminder of his home faction. “Follow me.”
She leads him down the hallway, glancing back every now and then to make sure that Tyler was following her. He keeps his curious brown eyes trained on the back of the woman’s head, like a sniper locked in on its target.
Eventually, she comes to a halt in front of a room that Tyler recognizes as his history classroom.
Room 219.
The room in which Tyler first learned about aptitude testing, and where he would meet his fate head on.
Tyler inhales; a sad, shaky sound against the hallway’s quiet ambiance.
His guide knocks on the door.
“Come in!” a woman’s voice on the other side commands, and Tyler’s entire body freezes.
This is real.
It is no longer just a nightmare that Tyler has been dreading for years.
The only thing standing between him and knowing his faction assignment is this metal door.
“Go ahead, sweetheart.” she whispers, placing a steady hand on Tyler’s shoulder. “You can do this.”
He turns to her, managing a small grin. “Thank you.”
The guide smiles, giving Tyler a nod before scurrying off down the hallway to help the next student.
She leaves Tyler alone, standing frozen in front of the door. His knees shake, and he picks at the skin of his fingertips— a nervous habit he’s held for years.
God, he was so brave just a few moments ago.
What happened?
The door opens, and Tyler comes face to face with a woman from… Dauntless.
She has a hardened expression in her deep brown eyes, but it slightly softens when she sees the fear on Tyler’s face. Reaching out, she takes the Abnegation boy’s hand in her own.
“Come on,” she instructs him, her voice surprisingly gentle as she leads Tyler inside. “I promise you; it’s not as scary as it looks.”
Now, that’s an interesting thing to say.
The testing room looked absolutely petrifying.
In the center of the former classroom, there was a chair. Not a regular classroom chair, however. This one resembled what you would find in a doctor’s office. There were arm rests on either side, and it appeared to lean back if need be. However, what scared Tyler the most about the torturous device was the head rest. Sure, there was the regular pillow-esque portion. However, there were what looked like some sort of restraints on the side.
What was the need for that?
“Those are just in case you hit your head.” the test administrator explains to him. “A lot of people move around during the aptitude testing, and that’s just another safety precaution we’re taking.”
Tyler gulps, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. “Right. Got it.”
She laughs quietly at his anxiety. “Go ahead and sit down, Tyler. I promise you’re going to be fine.”
Nodding, Tyler walks across the room towards the chair. He sits down, placing his hands on the arm rests. The chair is comfortable, despite how scary it had appeared. He finds himself able to relax.
“I’m Keons, by the way.” the woman, Keons, introduces herself. She stands behind a table on Tyler’s left, loading up a sterling silver gun with some sort of serum.
Shit.
In his panicked haze, Tyler forgot that they were going to stick him with a needle. He hates needles, always having to be held down at the doctor’s office whenever they would try to administer a shot.
“This doesn't hurt.” Keons promises him. “I know it looks really painful, but it’ll just be a quick pinch. Erudite designed these, so you know it’ll knock you out quick.”
Tyler laughs quietly, looking down at his shoes. Erudite creates all of the serums. They develop medicine, too. Maybe that’s why all of the smartest people in Chicago end up in Erudite; because they want to create something that will have a lasting impact on society.
“You ready?” asks Keons, her voice patient.
He nods his head. If he doesn’t get this test over with soon, his anxiety will cripple him.
“Okay.” the administrator walks over to him, placing a cautious hand on his shoulder. “I need you to take a deep breath in for me, Tyler. Can you do that?”
Tyler follows the woman’s instructions, inhaling steadily. As he does so, a pinching sensation is felt in his neck; the needle.
Out of instinct, Tyler tries to fight off the serum, desperately wanting to get rid of the sudden heaviness in his legs. It was like his body was made out of lead, and immobility terrified him.
“Don’t fight it.” Keons instructs him, her voice a growl in Tyler’s ear. “It’ll hurt worse if you do.”
Tyler feels like he’s suffocating, body slowly giving out on him. He knows it’s just a simulation, and the drug should kick in soon, but it doesn’t change the terror that courses through his veins as he loses control of his body.
He’s falling, heading straight through the floor. A gaping hole opens in the concrete beneath him, gnashing metal teeth prepared to swallow him whole.
There’s a loud roaring in his ears. Tyler cannot tell if it’s haphazard, random noises or laughter. But the noise is piercing, shooting straight through his bones like a steel-tipped arrow lodging itself in a target.
And then everything goes quiet.
Tyler opens his eyes.
He stands in a corridor similar to his school’s hallway, except everything is slightly distorted, intentionally giving the illusion that something about this place is… off.
Tyler’s senses heighten, and he swivels his head in all directions. Something terrible is going to happen to him in this room; he feels it in his gut.
“Choose.” a woman’s voice echoes throughout the room, and Tyler’s eyes widen. He looks around, searching for whoever had spoken to him.
No one is with him. Instead, hundreds of blinking red eyes stare back at the boy. He tries his best to count the eyes, only getting as high as 24 before he’s knocked off of his feet.
“Choose, Tyler.”
“Why?” asks the Abnegation teenager, his voice bouncing off of the walls and ricocheting back to him.
“Why?” hundreds of voices screech in unison, a fucked up chorus taunting Tyler. Those eyes— those glowing, crimson eyes— they’re replicas of him. Clones, meant to taunt him.
The voice repeats itself, angrily this time. “Choose.”
In front of Tyler are two bowls; one holding a knife, while the other holds cheese.
Tyler’s instinct is to reach for the knife, yet something inside of him screams that it is a bad idea. So he places his hands in his pocket, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.
The bowls vanish nearly as quickly as they appeared, leaving Tyler grasping at the air for something to hold on to.
“See, now you have nothing.” the woman laughs maniacally, voice echoing in Tyler’s ears. “Good luck.”
“What?” Tyler inquires, cocking his head to one side. “Good luck? Why do I need luck?”
Nothing.
The lights flicker for a moment, and Tyler can hear his own heartbeat in his ears.
Tears form in his eyes; the Abnegation boy tries to blink them away, yet they continue to fall.
Coward, he whispers to himself.
The sound of a dog barking brings Tyler back to reality. He looks up. Standing at the other end of the hallway is a wolf, rabid and vicious.
It begins to run at the Abnegation teenager, muscular legs thudding against the ground. He glances around, his deep eyes darting from one end of the hallway to another.
There has to be some kind of weapon hidden away— something that he could run and find.
Yet the dog is approaching him much too quickly.
Tyler can feel his death running at him at a very quick pace.
Oddly enough, he does not fear the sting of death.
Nor does he try to fight the dog.
It’s just a simulation, right?
Whatever serum-induced hallucination he has cannot actually hurt him.
Tyler needs to think logically right now; it is the only way to overcome fear. If the monstrous wolf cannot hurt him, who’s to stop Tyler from simply standing there, watching as the animal approaches?
So he drops to his knees, waiting for his inevitable death. Closing his eyes, Tyler imagines the dog’s sharpened fangs digging through his chest, ripping out his heart in the process.
The painful, gnashing teeth never come. Instead, the Abnegation boy hears a quiet whimpering noise. Opening his eyes, he’s greeted with a golden retriever puppy.
“Hi!” Tyler greets the animal in a singsong voice. He’s always been quite fond of dogs. “Hi, baby!”
The puppy yips in response, laying down on its back and waiting for Tyler to scratch its belly.
“Puppy!” a little girl’s voice cheers. Tyler looks up, seeing a young child wearing a long white dress. She looks eerily similar to Tyler’s twin sister did as a child, and a pang of longing stabs through Tyler’s chest.
As soon as the puppy lays eyes on the innocent girl, however, it morphs back into an aggressive wolf. Standing up, the dog barrels towards the child. Tyler’s chest twists— this vicious creature cannot kill an innocent girl.
“Stop it!” yells Tyler, clamoring to his feet before he can even process what is going on. He runs after the dog, throwing himself on the animal.
Instead of being attacked, however, Tyler simply falls through the floor.
When he reappears, the setting around him has changed. In the background, a black car. Some sort of ancient vehicle from a time before Chicago’s existence.
In front of the car, sits an elderly man reading a newspaper. There are burn scars littering his face.
Tyler looks at the newspaper. It reads “Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended”, with a photograph of someone who appears oddly familiar to Tyler. He cannot quite put his finger on who this peculiar stranger might be, however. Its face is slightly disfigured, giving an uncanny-esque impression.
“Do you know this man?” the elderly person asks, his face wrinkling in disgust.
“No.” Tyler speaks instinctively, although he knows in his heart that it is a lie. It shouldn’t matter, though. This is all a hallucination— nothing bad can happen to him here.
“Are you sure?” he asks again, his tone more aggressive this time.
Tyler shakes his head. “I have no idea who that man is. I’m sorry.”
“You’re lying!” the car behind the man erupts into flames, tongues of fire approaching Tyler.
His eyes widen in horror as the man stands up from his chair, suddenly transforming into a vulgar monster. He wears a long red robe, and the lower half of his face is painted black, although blurred by a veil.
Tyler freezes momentarily, unsure how to react in this situation. Who is this man, and why does he appear so familiar?
As he gathers his thoughts, Tyler realizes that the only reasonable option right now is to run.
So he does, taking off in the opposite direction of the car.
“TYLER JOSEPH.” the man’s voice screeches. Tyler does not look back, knowing that something very bad would happen to him if he were to turn around.
He keeps running, despite the fact that the road is slowly crumbling. Tyler knows that if he gets far enough away from this powerful being, the road will return to its normal condition.
“Keep going.” he whispers to himself. “Keep going.”
But it is no use.
The road beneath Tyler’s feet cracks, swallowing him whole.
And that is when he wakes up.
The simulation is over.
“Shit.” Keons says as soon as the boy’s eyes snap open. She grabs him by the arm so tightly that Tyler thinks it might leave a fingerprint-shaped bruise. ”We have to go.”
Tyler begins to panic, but he quietly follows the Dauntless woman’s instructions. She knows what to do to keep him safe, right?
“What happened?” he asks breathlessly as the two of them enter the back hallway— a completely different route than the one Tyler took to get into the facility. “What were my results?”
Keons brushes a piece of jet black hair behind her ear. “Abnegaiton. And Erudite. And Dauntless.”
His heart sinks.
Inconclusive.
“Divergent?” he whispers, a petrified expression in his eyes as he looks for Keons’ reassurance.
She sighs, nodding. “You need to get out of here. Tell your parents that the testing serum made you sick, and that I sent you home.”
Tyler’s somewhat happy that there’s someone in his corner trying to look out for him. At least, he thinks that Keons means well. Why wouldn’t she?
“As far as everyone else is concerned, you got Abnegation as your result.” Keons continues, patting him on the shoulder. “Because that is what I entered into the system.”
“Glad to know you didn’t get Candor on your aptitude test either.” Tyler cracks a joke, using his natural coping mechanism at the worst possible time.
Her eyes narrow. “Is that a joke, Stiff?”
Tyler swallows, nodding.
Probably not the best time to be silly, right?
“Yeah.” he mumbles, fidgeting with his hands. “Um, I should probably…”
“Yeah, you should.” Keons replies, pointing towards the back door. “Before I pull a knife on you.”
The Divergent boy steps back, a look of unease in his eyes.
Keons laughs quietly at the boy’s fright. “I’m kidding.”
Tyler’s face softens, and his shoulders relax. Okay, maybe it is actually a decent time for jokes.
“Bye.” Tyler waves at the administrator as he walks in the direction that she pointed him towards.
“Bye, Tyler.” she gives him a small wave as well. “Hopefully I’ll see you soon.”
Dauntless.
What a fucking dream.
Maybe that’s where he’ll decide to go. Tyler isn’t sure right now.
He has about 24 hours to make that decision, though. Tomorrow is the Choosing Ceremony, and he has to know exactly what he wants to do with his life by then.
This isn’t fair…
Tyler leaves the testing facility behind him, walking down the cracked streets of Chicago and back towards the Abnegation sector. Back in the direction of his house that never quite felt like home.
As much as Tyler loves his family, he knows for a fact that he will not be returning to Abnegation after tomorrow. It is not in the cards for him.
Tyler refuses to live a life of service, because he knows it would be a lie. He doesn’t have the heart to stay in Abnegation. After his aptitude testing and the exhilaration of chasing after that dog, Tyler believes that his heart lies in Dauntless— the brave.
He’s never been as strong as those in Dauntless, though. Tyler is weak, his arms resembling wet noodles more than anything else. The Abnegation-born Divergent has never touched a weight in his life, not quite knowing how to defend himself.
The only reason he was able to fight against the wolf within the simulation was because he knew that it wasn’t real. He had no reason to be afraid. That isn’t how the real world works, unfortunately. If Tyler wants to make it in Dauntless, he’s going to have to gain a whole lot of bravery. He needs to learn how to fight, no matter how hard that may be.
He’s going to be Dauntless, though; he just has to be.
Tyler’s only other option is Erudite, but he cannot see himself surviving there. He is not meant for a life lived in the library. Tyler slept through English class all throughout high school, so he doesn’t even know why that would even be an option on his aptitude test.
There has to be something wrong with the test itself, then.
Maybe he received a faulty serum.
Perhaps he should turn around and ask to retake the test, just to be safe.
After seeing the look on Keons’ face, however, he does not believe that to be a good idea. She seemed genuinely afraid for the boy’s life.
Is it really that bad to be Divergent?
Tyler can answer that question for himself; it is.
Divergents do not fit into the faction system. They break the cycle— something that was meticulously crafted in order to keep peace within Chicago. So, because Tyler was Divergent, he poses a threat to the city.
Keons destroyed every ounce of evidence of his Divergence, thankfully. She entered him in as Abnegation, and hopefully destroyed the recording of his simulation. If Erudite were to get their hands on that tape, then Tyler’s body would be mysteriously found by the wall.
Since Erudite is the faction that develops all of the serums, his test results would go straight to the Erudite computer system. He wouldn’t last a day in that faction; someone would discover that there’s something wrong with him.
Even though his results indicated that he could have potentially gone to Erudite, Tyler disagrees. It would pose a direct threat to his safety.
He has to go Dauntless, then. It is the only way to survive.
He has no choice.
Tyler walks into the house. Since his face is already pale enough as it is, he doesn’t have to worry about his mother suspecting that he’s Divergent. The sick lie will work.
“How did it go?” Mrs. Joseph asks from where she stands in the kitchen, working on supper. When she sees that Tyler came home alone, a concerned look falls over her face. “Where’s your sister?”
Tyler shrugs, sitting down at the kitchen table. “The serum made me sick, so they sent me home.”
“Ah.” his Ma looks down at the potato that she’s been peeling. “Surely not too sick for dinner?”
“No,” Tyler shakes his head. “I feel fine now. Motion sickness, you know?”
Mrs. Joseph nods. “Those serums really mess you up. I remember my aptitude test.”
Tyler perks up with curiosity. “Yeah?”
“I can’t tell you much about it, though.” Tyler’s mother laughs uncomfortably. “Sworn to secrecy.”
Secrecy…
Right.
Maybe his mother was also Divergent. Does that kind of thing run in the family? Tyler doesn’t remember too much about Divergence, other than the fact that it is very, very bad to be that way.
“Somehow I ended up here.” his Ma’s demeanor quickly changes. “Your father grew up in Abnegation, and I fell in love with him as a teenager. Bad idea, right?”
“Ma, that is so gross.” Tyler fake gags. “Did you really switch factions for that?”
She shrugs, biting her lip. “Love makes you do crazy things. I’m sure you’d be just like me if there was someone out there that you loved.”
Tyler’s never been in love before. That kind of thing isn’t for him. Falling in love with someone requires you to settle down, and Tyler feels the need to remain on the run.
As nice as it would be to fall for someone and have a family of his own someday, he can’t see it happening. At least, he cannot fathom having a life with a woman.
Tyler might not even like women. He’s not too sure.
His sexuality is the least of his worries right now, though. If he doesn’t pick Dauntless tomorrow, he's as good as dead.
The sound of the front door opening makes Tyler nearly jump out of his skin.
“Sorry.” he says, noticing the concerned glance that his mother throws his way. “Still have one foot in the sim.”
“Where did you go?” Maddie is home, and she sounds furious.
Tyler turns to her, narrowing his eyes. “The serum made me sick, so they sent me home.”
Copy, paste.
The same response he gave his mother.
Does it really matter, though? Surely they’ll both believe him.
Perhaps if he was a little bit less defensive, the lie would have been a bit more believable.
Oh, well.
It is much too late for that now.
“Oh.” Maddie’s attitude shifts, and she seems much calmer. Tyler breathes a sigh of relief; she believed him. “Sorry for yelling at you. Probably didn’t make things much better.”
“It’s okay.” he tells his sister. “Really. I feel a lot better now.”
Maddie nods, sitting down next to her brother. “That’s good.”
They sit in awkward silence for a moment, neither person sure of what to say. Tomorrow, there may be two less Joseph children sitting at the table, and the thought of that seems to scare both of them.
“What did you get?” Maddie breaks the silence first, curious about her brother’s test result.
Tyler shrugs, his lips curling into a smile. He wants to tell his sister about how he got Dauntless as his result, but he doesn’t want to give any feeling of dread to his mother. If he admits that he’s leaving, his Ma won’t be happy about it. Even though he is an adult, capable of making his own decisions.
“I guess you’ll have to wait and see.” he replies, ruffling his sister’s hair. “What did you get?”
Maddie sticks out her tongue at her brother, swatting his hand away playfully. “You’ll have to wait and see.”
“Hey, you two.” Mrs Joseph walks over to her children. “Would you mind helping me set the table? Dinner’s almost ready.”
Both of them stand up, walking quietly into the kitchen and grabbing silverware from one of the many drawers. Tyler takes gray napkins from the cupboard; six of them, so that each of the Josephs could have one
Sometimes, Tyler forgets that he has two other siblings. Younger brothers— Zack and Jay. They’ll have to learn what it is like to live without their big brother.
Tyler doesn’t like the thought of that. Sure, his parents are wonderful, and he’s confident that his siblings will be in good hands. But that doesn’t take away all of his worries.
Zack and Jay will always wonder what happened to their older brother; the sweet, kind, innocent boy with soft features and an even softer heart. Jay is only 5 years old.
What will he even remember of Tyler? Will his memory be that of a hero, someone who selflessly took care of his family?
Or will his baby brother grow up resenting Tyler for leaving??
Zack will at least understand what the Choosing Ceremony is. He has a bit of knowledge about the faction system, and that inkling is enough to get him through tomorrow’s festivities.
Tyler finishes setting the napkins out around the table, and his sister completes the place settings with the silverware. Mrs. Joseph brings flavorless chicken, mashed potatoes, and plain white bread over to the table, setting it out for the family to enjoy.
This is Tyler’s last time having to eat bland food, and that feeling brings him a little bit of comfort. Although he will probably find himself homesick once he’s in Dauntless, the food will taste much better than anything that Abnegation could have come up with.
And thank God for that.
Tyler is tired of eating the same thing over and over again.
Chris arrives home from work at about half past six o’clock, and the family sits down to enjoy one last meal together.
Although neither Maddie nor Tyler have spoken about the ordeal, there is this unspoken agreement that one— or both— Joseph siblings will not come back to Abnegation tomorrow.
Tyler’s stomach churns as he takes a bite of the chicken, its almost cardboard-like taste making him nearly as sick as that serum supposedly had.
“So, you got sick, huh?” Tyler’s Pa asks over dinner, his eyes narrowing into thin slits as he stares directly at his eldest son.
The brunette man shrugs, eating a bite of the tasteless potatoes. “Motion sickness. They said it was completely normal.”
“Chris, don’t pester him.” Mrs. Joseph scolds her husband gently, shaking her head in disapproval. “He’s had a hard day.”
Tyler looks between his parents, an expression of annoyance on his face. He doesn’t even know why the two of them are still married at this point. They obviously don’t like each other very much, constantly bickering about one thing or another.
Unfortunately, a divorce isn’t in the cards for them. Tyler’s father is too well respected within Abnegation. A divorce between a prominent figure and his wife would cause the man to become factionless. When you’re selfless, that unfortunately means giving up everything you’ve ever wanted in life— including freedom.
The brunette man’s stomach churns at the thought of settling down, and suddenly the chicken in front of him loses all appeal.
Not that it had much to begin with.
“I’m not hungry.” Tyler pushes his plate away, standing up from the table. “Sorry.”
Mrs. Joseph looks up at him, a worried expression in her eyes. “Are you sure you’re alright, dear?”
Tyler smiles softly at his mother— unconvincing and fake. “Yeah… Thank you for supper, Ma. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He turns away from the dinner table, climbing upstairs and leaving his family behind.
Laying down on his bed, Tyler allows the events of the day to circulate through his mind, giving him the opportunity to process everything that has happened.
His worst nightmare— the thing he dreaded— has become his reality. Tyler is Divergent. Silent tears run down his cheeks as he mulls over the word.
He has no choice but to go Dauntless at this point. If anything, supper with his family solidified his decision.
Tyler’s paralyzing fear of change cannot overcome his primal survival instinct. Choosing Dauntless is, for lack of a better term, the safest option.
The training process is rigorous; he has seen Dauntless individuals running through the streets of Chicago, guns at their waist. They are much faster than he is, with lean, muscular legs and hands meant to hold a weapon.
Tyler would like to believe that he can survive in Dauntless. It is that or become Factionless, and Tyler would rather jump off of a building than spend his life pondering over the what-if’s. He is going to have to just go for it, trusting his instincts and hoping that he does not fail.
Realistically, his most stable option would be to stay in Abnegation, living a life of misery and service. He would find a girl— no matter how much he hates the idea— and end up marrying her. Possibly, he could start a family of his own someday.
But Tyler has never once craved stability. He yearns for the freedom that comes with running wild. He needs Dauntless like it is the air he breathes. Staying here would simply suffocate him.
The boy rolls over in bed, burying his face in his pillow as the tears continue to fall.
Is he making a mistake by choosing Dauntless?
Should he change his mind, going with the safer, more comfortable option of Abnegation?
No.
As important as safety is to Tyler, he doesn’t want to feel secure. By staying in Abnegation, he creates this false narrative about himself. He is going to have to spend the rest of his life pretending that he doesn’t want to join those in Dauntless.
This is really it, huh?
He’s going Dauntless.
Footsteps echo down the stairwell, and Tyler can tell that his sister has finished her supper. It would be time for her to go to sleep. Maddie is a very routine-driven individual, and Tyler would be surprised if she ended up staying here in Abnegation. He thinks that her sister would do much better in Erudite, where her intelligence and creativity would thrive.
The thought of Maddie choosing a different faction brings him a little sliver of comfort. At least he won’t be the only one leaving. Besides, it’s not like his parents would be losing their only children. Zack would probably end up staying in Abnegation when it becomes his turn to choose, and Jay is far too young to understand what is happening.
All he’ll know is that his biggest brother disappeared.
Okay, when Tyler puts it like that, things become a little bit more painful.
Maddies’ bedroom door slams shut for the night, and he can hear quiet sniffles coming through the other side of the wall. Whatever the Joseph parents had said to her must have really hurt. Maddie hardly ever cries, unless she’s really emotional.
Like today at the aptitude testing.
Tyler thinks that was the first time in years that Maddiea has cried in front of him. It runs in the family— Tyler himself doesn’t really let anyone see the emotional side of him. His tears are reserved for late nights, when the boy is left alone with nothing except for his own thoughts.
Tyler’s head is a terrifying place.
So many monsters live up there; things that no human could even fathom.
Maybe that is another reason why he fears staying in Abnegation. It’s not that Tyler isn’t a selfless individual— Abnegation was in fact listed on his aptitude test results.
It is more so the fact that Tyler Joseph has something deeply wrong with his brain; something that transcends Divergence. He is sick in the head, and he doesn’t know what the problem is.
Tyler has been that way ever since he was a little kid. He is fully aware that there is something wrong with his brain chemistry.
Does he crave the freedom that comes with being Dauntless, or does he just want to run away?
God, Tyler cannot make a decision for himself and it’s killing him.
The sound of his parents shouting at each other breaks him out of his melancholy haze, bringing Tyler down from the storm clouds of his mind and causing him to listen to the conversation being had.
He doesn’t like how much his parents fight.
They’ve always been this way, though— cold, distant. Well, at least his father is distant. Tyler’s Ma adores him. You know, probably because he is her firstborn baby.
But Tyler’s Pa hates his guts, and the kid could never quite figure out why.
He did everything right, never getting into trouble at school and always keeping quiet during arguments.
Speaking of arguments, Tyler should probably listen to what the two of them are talking about. He’s had to intercept these conversations in the past, protecting his Ma from Chris Joseph’s anger. Thankfully, Tyler never has taken physical lashings from the man. But his words are enough of a sting.
A reminder, if you will.
Tyler does not belong here.
The brunette man creeps out of his bedroom, cautious about the door. He doesn’t want a sound to expose him— that would not end well with his father.
Standing by the banister, he catches small glimpses of his father’s words; none of them good.
“There’s something wrong with him, Kels.” his father whispers in a hushed tone. “I don’t know what it is, but I don’t like it.”
“You’re too hard on him.” Kelly’s voice is gentle. She’ll always defend her son, no matter what it takes. Tyler is her pride and joy. “He’s just a boy, Chris.”
“He is a grown adult!” Tyler’s Pa raises his voice, slamming his fists down on the kitchen countertop. “Whatever. After tomorrow, he won’t be our problem anymore.”
“He isn’t a problem, Chris.” His mother's voice sounds strained now, almost as if she’s preventing tears from spilling down her cheeks. “He’s our son.”
“No.” Chris snaps back at the woman, a violent tone to his tongue. “He’s your son. Tyler is an embarrassment to Abnegation.”
“Whatever did he do to you?” Kelly Joseph inquires of her husband, once again challenging the man’s authority. “You should be proud of your child.”
Tyler bites down on the fabric of his shirt sleeve, tears of his own pooling in deep brown eyes. The words aren’t surprising to him— Tyler has heard much worse out of his father’s foul mouth.
But the way that Chris speaks about him hurts worse tonight. Every word cuts through him like tiny shards of glass, infiltrating even the darkest of his mind. The most well-protected corridors of Tyler Joseph’s brain are full of his Pa’s sharp words.
Everything hurts.
Tyler wants to cry out— to scream at something or someone.
Yet he stays quiet. Nobody is coming to save him.
“He’s trouble, Kelly.” Chris retorts. “Do you have any idea how embarrassing it will be if he leaves Abnegation?”
“He deserves to get away from you.” Kelly snaps back at him. “For his sake, I hope he leaves.”
“I hope he does too!” screams Tyler’s Pa. “I never want to see him again.”
Kelly laughs at her husband’s pathetic tone. “Tyler deserves a life free from you. It’s… it is something I could never have.”
With that, his Ma’s footsteps can be heard approaching the stairs.
Tyler scrambles to his feet, walking towards his bedroom and slamming the door behind him.
He sits down on the ground, pulling his knees to his chest. Soft sobs escape his lips as he rocks back and forth. His Pa’s words replay over and over again in his mind like some sort of fucked up record.
After tomorrow, he won’t be our problem anymore.
Problem…
God.
Look, Tyler knew that his father has always seen him as a threat. A problem child. Someone that would stand in Chris’s way; especially when it came to getting what he wanted. Tyler has always been the perfect example of what an Abnegation child should look like. Good grades, star athlete, kind to everyone he meets… Tyler Joseph truly did have it all.
And is why being the cookie cutter example of Abnegation, Tyler poses the threat of stealing his father’s job.
Chris Joseph works with representatives from all five factions on some sort of council. Tyler isn’t actually quite sure what his dad does.
Whatever.
It doesn’t actually matter.
Tyler will be out of Abnegation tomorrow, meaning he won’t be a threat to his father anymore and the man can move on with his life.
Just because things won’t matter in the long run doesn't mean they won’t hurt right now, though. Tonight, Tyler feels like he’s been stabbed by his own father.
Although he’s used to the sting, the pain is intense and almost unbearable. It brings tears to his eyes, constricting his chest to the point where Tyler feels as if he might pass out.
Nothing about his life is fair, is it?
First, Tyler finds out that he’s Divergent. That’s fine. He can deal with that.
Ironically, the things his father said about him this evening hurt him worse than his Divergence ever could .
All Tyler ever tried to do was be a good kid, not getting into trouble and never showing signs of rebellion.
His father clearly didn’t believe that, though. He saw something wrong with Tyler— something that the Divergent boy was unaware of.
Something that he cannot get rid of.
All Tyler knows is one small, concrete fact:
He will die if he stays in Abnegation.
Xxbreachclanky21xX on Chapter 1 Wed 10 Dec 2025 05:24AM UTC
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Tribute2Zombies on Chapter 1 Wed 10 Dec 2025 07:23AM UTC
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