Chapter Text
*TimeTickler has added 2 many users to: War criminals but it’s ok because we’re gay*
TotallyNotPink: i just ate a cookie lol
TimeTickler: Hello gays, theys, and Girlies⏰⏰⏰
IMGONNASMITEYIU: I’m riding on a torando
HaveUNoPride?!: Pitaya what the fuck did I say about eating cookies?
TotallyNotPink: Uhm.. I don’t know?
Seafarty: *replying to TimeTickler: Hello gays..
Hello!:]
MoonbeamIcream: Hello my sea<3
Seafarty: My moon<33
Preppy2emo: Ew
TimeTickler: hey Shawty😍
Preppy2emo: ..
FrostyTheSnowman: Can I request to leave?
TimeTickler: no.
FrostyTheSnowman: Why not?
TimeTickler: Because one of the Author likes you. Duh
FrostyTheSnowman: Excuse me? One?.. Alolan_Lapras: Stop breaking the fourth wall, Timekeeper. Anyways we have two.
TimeTickler: You shouldn’t even know about the fourth wall vro
Alolan_Lapras has muted TimeTickler for 9 years
TimeTickler: Why 9 years? 😭
Alolan_Lapras: Go back to being Mute.
TimeTickler: Nty
We gotta go bald: WSP GAYS🔥🔥🔥🔥
TotallyNotPink: I ate a cookie becausssssse they were being a bitch
We gotta go bald: good for u :D
HaveUNoPride?!: Do NOT encourage them or I’m filling up a bucket of water and tying you to a chair so you’re unable to escape as I slowly pour water onto your body.
We gotta go bald: point taken.
Logan Paul: What is the meaning of this? why have I been added to a group that has cookies in it?
HaveUNoPride?!: ..WHO THE FUCK LET THEM IN
TIEMKEPPER WHY FID YOU SDD TEHEM
TotallyNotPink: oh hell naw, nanasss crasshing out ssoo hard they sssstopped sspelling right ..
Alolan_Lapras has removed Logan Paul from..
TimeTickler: hey! I didn’t say you could do that😡😡
Alolan_Lapras has muted TimeTickler for 8 years
Alolan_Lapras: You’ll all thank me later ok?
TotallyNotPink: Type sshi
Alolan_Lapras: Buddy what?
TotallyNotPink:I don’t actually know
Alolan_Lapras: I’m sure.
HaveUNoPride?!: they have no briancells
TotallyNotPink: I have so many briancells fuck you
HaveUNoPride?!: yeah? Do you want me to list off the reasons why you don’t?
TotallyNotPink: Nty
HaveUNoPride?!: Next time you won’t be so lucky.
TotallyNotPink: I’m sorry 😞
HaveUNoPride?!: Shut.
Treegod: Hello! Good morning everyone😁😁!!
Seafarty: Good morning Millennial tree:D
IWILLSMITEYIU: who let unc in?
TimeTickler: ts is why you don’t get huzz
IWILLSMITEYIU: Bruh syfm
TimeTickler has muted IWILLSMITEYIU for 10..
Alolan_Lapras: your still supposed to be muted<\3
TimeTickler: shh Shawty
Preppy2emo: What did you just call them
TimeTickler: AHHHH nothing bbg!! Trust
Preppy2emo: I’m about to break up with your ass
TimeTickler: NO PLS POOKIE
Preppy2emo: whatever, im abt to sink a ship wanna come?
TimeTickler: yes bbg
We gotta go baldd: cuh wants that cookie so bad😭😭
TotallyNotpink: yu do know that doessn’t really make sssenssssse here right😀?
We gotta go bald: oh shi u right mbmb…
Leach:
*insert diabolical image that will have anyone with more then two brain cells have an aneurism*
HaveUNoPride?!: what the fuck
We gotta go bald: oh hell naw.. WHAT did you to Pitaya??
*Alolan_Lapras has muted Leach for 10 minutes*
TimeTickler: What the fuck was that…
Preppy2emo: my question<\3
Treegod: What is that diabolical image…
Archibald: Father look away. Please:(
Treegod: I’m truly shocked and traumatized..
Seafarty: I should have stayed frozen cause what the hell
Moonbeamicecream: no pookie, it’ll be okay.
Seafarty: If you say so…. <3
MoonbeamIcecream: I can make you pancakes?
Seafarty: yes pls
HaveUNoPride?!: STOP THIS IS NOT THE TIME
Preppy2emo: ew lesbians
TimeTickler: …
IWILLSMITEYIU: That’s crazy..
FrostyTheSnowman: I wish to leave.
TimeTickler: no.
FrostyTheSnowman: Why not?
We gotta go bald: cuz we like u:D
Archibald: I partially agree with Fire spirit
Preppy2emo: ew gays
TimeTickler: we need to get rid of your homophobia.
Preppy2emo: what homophobia?
We gotta go bald: … who’s gonna tell her?
TimeTickler: not it
HaveUNoPride?!: Nope
Alolan_lapras: not me
TotallyNotPink: Fuck that
Archibald: no thank you
Treegod: I humbly decline😁
Logan Paul: No.
HaveUNoPride?!: WHO LET IT IN
Leach: idk… :3
HaveUNoPride?!: shut up midget WAIT DID YOU FUCKING LET THEM IN
Leach: NO!?
Logan Paul: I let myself in
Treegod: How are you doing?
Logan Paul: I’m doing.. less than favourable.
Treegod: That’s a shame.
HaveUNoPride?!: I KNOW YOU DUCKING LET THEM IN HO
Leach: NO I FUCKING DIDYNT!!!??
HaveUNoPride?!: I CALL BULLSHIT
*Alolan_Lapras has removed Logan Paul*
Notes:
Imagine if Longan Millenial tree and Swan lady got freaky
Chapter 2
Summary:
Guess who finally fixed Pitayas personality?? My bestiethats who also they said we should have Pitaya talk with the “sss” so that’s what we did:D
Frost queen my beloved, yk if I didn’t love her so much she might’ve been allowed to leave/ jk
I started playing Ovenbreak so some of the other legendaries might get added:>
Notes:
Idrk I saw a oneshot/fic where Burning spice(as the herald of change) fought Pitaya for a scale and uh I took inspo, because before I started this I wanted to have some sort of Pitaya and Burning spice connection because I loved them both so much. Soo that’s what I did:P
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*FrostyTheSnowman has left War criminals but..*
TotallyNotPink: Ssstop don’t talk to me
Alolan_lapras: loser lame o wannabe
TotallyNotPink: I don’t remember the resst
Alolan_lapras: dumbfuck
TotallyNotPink: in my defence I haven’t had cusstody of the braincell lately
Alolan_lapras: because you don’t deserve the braincell.
TotallyNotPink: care to explain why not?
Alolan_lapras: because I need the braincell.
TotallyNotPink: but I need it too?
Alolan_lapras: no.
TotallyNotPink: yessss
Alolan_lapras: what have you ever done with the braincell?
TotallyNotPink: Beaten a cookie up
Alolan_lapras: how long ago
TotallyNotPink: two thousand years or so ago, a sssix armed cookie wanted a sssscale or ssomething
Alolan_lapras: the Herald of Change you told me about?
TotallyNotPink: I do believe sso
Alolan_lapras: cool well I don’t care
Archibald: you fought the Herald of change?
TotallyNotPink: Precissely why isss it you wissh to know?
Archibald: I’m simply curious, with all that’s been happening lately.
TotallyNotPink: What do you mean?
Archibald: He got corrupted like the other beasts?
TotallyNotPink: Or sso ive heard
We gotta go bald: that’s enough of that
TotallyNotPink: let me finissh my converssssation or I’ll let Ananasss go through with their threat.
We gotta go bald: :(
HaveUNoPride?!: I have a bucket of water ready:)
Seafarty: please refrain from killing Fire spirit..
HaveUNoPride: what will you do if I do?
Seafarty: I’ll skin your ass and put you into a stew.
HaveUNoPride?!:Sure
Alolan_lapras: Ananas shut the fuck up or I’m sending it after your ass.
HaveUNoPride?!: …
TotallyNotPink: who in Crisspia will I bring to Hollysss Christmass dance if Nanasss iss dead?<\3
Alolan_lapras: me.
TotallyNotPink: your not fun tho
Alolan_lapras: syfm
TimeTickler: If I don’t see you again good morning good afternoon and goodnight
Prwppy2emo: I sunk a ship
TimeTickler: without me?
Preppy2emo: yes.
TimeTickler: aw shucks.
Preppy2emo: I was gonna tell you but I got impatient LMAO
TimeTickler: You couldn’t spare a moment of your time to tell me?..3:
Preppy2emo: pretty sure you were talking abt that disgusting pic lychee sent
why the fuck did you get so poetic??
Leech: Tehe 🤭
Treegod: I’m still Traumatized from that photo
Can we remove it somehow?..
We gotta go bald: I think we can idk tho
*Archibald removed a photo sent by Leech*
Leech: Awh :(
TimeTickler: FINALLY
Alolan_Lapras: You dipshits know you guys could have done this sooner?????
TotallyNotPink: Uhhhh yessss?
Alolan_Lapras: THEN WHY DIDNT YOU GUYS????
TotallyNotPink: okay okay syfm anyway I wanna add ssomeone
TimeTickler: no
TotallyNotPink: you don’t even know who I’m talking about and plusss I desserve an emotional ssuport cookie to help me get over the trauma that came with Lycheesss.. photo
TimeTickler: I don’t actually care
also I do in fact know who ur talking about
TotallyNotPink: how do you know
TimeTickler: your not adding Snapdragon
TotallyNotPink: why not
TimeTickler: because this gc is gonna get freaked up in about one chapter
Alolan_lapras: this is already freaked up stop breaking the fourth wall.
TimeTickler: no.
*TimeTickler has muted Alolan_lapras for 10 mins*
*TimeTickler has added FrostyTheSnowman to..*
TimeTickler: ur not leaving
*FrostyTheSnowman has left War criminals but..*
*TimeTickler has added FrostyTheSnowman to..*
*FrostyTheSnowman has added Logan Paul to..*
Logan Paul: Why has a.. cookie added me to this ..group chat again?
Treegod: hello dear Longan!😁
HaveUNoPride?!: ..
*HaveUNoPride?! has removed Logan Paul from the chat*
Treegod: Oh 🙁
Archibald: We really don’t need them in here..
TotallyNotPink: I’m starting to like you forest gay
Archibald: excuse me?
TotallyNotPink: did you fart or smth?
We gotta go bald: be nice bro<\3
TotallyNotPink: No.
We gotta go bald: pls don’t ground me homie
TotallyNotPink: Thankssss for the idea! <3
We gotta go bald: WIT NOT IM SORRY PLS DONT MAKE ME TURN INTO AN ORB OR OR LET ANANANS DRAGON PUR WATER ON MI
HaveUNoPride?!: Ananans?… yeah Taya isn’t saving your ass from the water bucket now
We gotta go bald: NO.
HaveUNoPride?!: Yes.
Notes:
Imagine Longan Tree and Swan got freky
Chapter 3: Freak fest
Summary:
Yeah I don’t actually know😀🔫
I accidentally let my freak come out🥀
Chapter Text
We gotta go bald: I’m grounded
MoonbeamIcecream: Fire spirit, it is 2:30am I am trying my hardest to sleep and with the ping of my cellphone I am finding that quite difficult, may I please request that you turn of your phone and rest?
We gotta go bald: sorry, moonlight I’ll sleep now.(edited)
MoonbeamIcecream: Im sorry, what did you just call me?
We gotta go bald edited one message
We gotta go bald: wdym?🔥
MoonbeamIcecream: my eyes must be deceiving me, goodnight Fire spirit.
We gotta go bald: night moonlight;>
IWILLSMITEYIU: Nahh THAT’S crazy flame boy
We gotta go bald: idk what ur talking abt cuh
IWILLSMITEYIU: brochacho..
We gotta go bald: I’m telling Frost queen about your crush on her
TimeTickler has muted We gotta go bald for 10 minutes
TimeTickler has removed a message
TimeTickler: we can’t have any of that here!⏰⏰
IWILLSMITEYIU: should I say Ty?…
TimeTickler: yes
IWILLSMITEYIU: Ty homie…
7:36 am
MoonbeamIcecream: Fire spirit, did you end up sleeping last night?
We gotta go bald: Yh, my sleep was kinda buns tho
MoonbeamIcecream: oh, what a shame a nightmare?
We gotta go bald: sadly<\3
IWILLSMITEYIU: HAHA L
Moonbeamicecram: Be nice!
IWILLSMITEYIU: YOU DEFENDING THE ETERNAL FLAME?! HAH! Know your place!
*Alolan_Lapras has muted IWILLSMITEYIU for 20 minutes*
IWILLSMITEYIU: HAHAHAH I can’t get muted BITCH
Alolan_lapras: know your place Stormbringer.
We gotta go bald: I thought Lotus muted you
IWILLSMITEYIU: I can’t CUZ IM INVINCIBLE!
TimeTickler: No it’s cause the other author likes you
IWILLSMITEYIU: NUH UH ITS CUZ IM INVINCIBLE>:[
TimeTickler: No, it’s because the other author likes you:/ Just like the other other one likes Elsa
FrostyTheSnowman: I would like to leave
TimeTickler: no.
IWILLSMITEYIU: ITS BECAUSE I’m INVINCIBLE
We gotta go bald: Just accept it cuh<\3
TotallyNotPink: I thought I took your phone away? Ur grounded
We gotta go bald: Nuh uh…
TotallyNotPink: yuh huh, get ur asss over here and give me ur phone
We gotta go bald: But why?!!
TotallyNotPink: I don’t actually remember BUT I know ur ASSSS ISSS GROUNDED
We gotta go bald: NUH UH IM NOT GROUNDED IDK WHAT YOURTALKUNG ABT
TotallyNotPink: maybe not but I know you ssstopped my converssation
We gotta go bald: SO THAT WARRANTS GROUNDING ME?!
TotallyNotPink: Yesss cutting me off is a great offence
We gotta go bald: HOW?! YOU DO THAT TO ME ALL THE TIME
TotallyNotPink: name one inssstance where I have cut you off
We gotta go bald: FUCK IDK
TotallyNotPink: precisssely now give me your phone
We gotta go bald: NO HOW WILL I TALK TO THE HUZZ
TotallyNotPink: Go outsssside and touch grassss
We gotta go bald: … I’ll just BURN it but okay.
TotallyNotPink: Put that attitude away
We gotta go bald: NO! What if I take YOUR PHONE AWAY how will u talk to HOLLYBRRYY?
TotallyNotPink: I’d fly to her cassstle?
We gotta go bald: … what if I chop off your wings then what
TotallyNotPink: I’d unadopt your asssss and ssssend you back to the minessss
We gotta go bald: NO PLS NOT THE MINES
TotallyNotPink: Thatsss what I thought.
IWILLSMITEYIU: HAAH L Flame dude!!
Listen to ur parent next time
We gotta go bald: Syfm
IWILLSMITEYIU: Nah Ty
We gotta go bald: FIGHT ME BITCH
IWILLSMITEYIU: HAH FUCKING BET
10:21am
We gotta go bald: HAHAHAHAH I WON
IWILLSMITEYIU: FUCK
We gotta go bald: HAVE THE SKILLS TO BACK U UP NEXT TIME
IWILLSMITEYIU: FIGHT ME BITCH
We gotta go bald: again?..
TotallyNotPink: Fire Sspirit don’t be a pusssy fight her again. Any why do you ssstill have your phone…? You’re still grounded?
We gotta go bald: UHHHH I WAS FIGHTING AN FORGOT TRUST
TotallyNotPink: Excusessss Excusesss now give me your phone.
We gotta go bald: NO
HaveUNoPride?!: I have a bucket of water.
We gotta go bald: … you know what
KILL ME AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS LMAO
TotallyNotPink: I thought we talked about thiss
We gotta go bald: RAHH
Im going to live with Hollyberry>:(
IWILLSMITEYIU: HEY ASSHOLE I STILL WANNA FIGHT
We gotta go bald: FUCK U CANT U SEE IM BEING AN ANGSTY TEENAGER?!
IWILLSMITEYIU: Imagine NOT having a childhood LLLL
We gotta go bald: Imagine LOOKING LIKE FUCKING PIKACHU ON CRACK
IWILLSMITEYIU: UR LITERALLY BALDING
We gotta go bald: NO IM FUCKING NOT???
IWILLSMITEYIU:
*imagine a picture of a very bald Fire spirit*
We gotta go bald: THATS FAKE CGI I TELL U
IWILLSMITEYIU: NUH UH
We gotta go bald: YUH HUH
IWILLSMITEYIU: I LITERALLY TOOK THEPICTURE??
We gotta go bald: Oh! SO
UR STALKIMG ME??
IWILLSMITEYIU: I SEE WVERYTHING FROM
UP HERE BRO
We gotta go bald: BULLSHIT
IWILLSMITEYIU: IM NOT KIDDING HOE??
We gotta go bald: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME
IWILLSMITEYIU: I CALLED YOU WHAT YOU SRE
We gotta go bald is typing..
IWILLSMITEYIU: .. type faster
We gotta go bad: May I remind u that I have EVIDENCE of ur crush on Frost Queen? ALSO ARE YOU AWARE THAT I AM INFACT STRONGER THEN YOU??
IWILLSMITEYIU Is typing..
IWILLSMITEYIU: I’ve seen you taking it like a good boy.
We gotta go bald: … 😀
TotallyNotPink: …
We gotta go bald: …😶
TotallyNotPink: …
We gotta go bald: … I… I don’t think you’ll be a grandparent?…..hah…
TotallyNotPink: …
Notes:
Hahaahs I don’t know they’re all fucking freaks
Like imagine if Long Tree and swan got freaky??