Chapter Text
Hyunjin was an icon, beloved in both the fashion and art worlds. Seungmin had the voice of an angel, and everyone adored his music. Chan was just a guy.
He’d just so happened to be working as their bartender the first time the couple went out, back when they were both nobodies. An impromptu threesome had led to more. They’d been an unbreakable triad ever since.
Chan felt like he had to measure up to his partners, which was like trying to shine as bright as the sun. Staying in shape to look less ugly next to them. The penthouse apartment they lived in was always sparkling clean. He made sure that in the midst of their busy schedules, they always had a warm, home cooked meal ready for them.
But then they'd go and be even more amazing. Gifting him with designer clothes, expensive jewelry, concert tickets, every game or device he could ever think to want. He had a card they both put money into, but he really only used it for household expenses.
People told him he deserved to be spoiled by them. He disagreed.
Today, though, was their last day together before Seungmin left for a tour and Hyunjin had to go to all the fashion weeks and be a part of multiple campaigns and events. Normally, they were never both gone at the same time. But now, Chan would be alone for months.
In the past, he'd tried traveling with one of them, but he was more of a homebody. He was overwhelmed constantly being in new places. Besides, they had to keep their relationship private and the two were so busy on their trips, that they hardly had been able to spend any time with Chan.
They were spending the day together. Chan made them a nice breakfast. They'd had a lot of sex. Then they'd gotten ready to go out on a date.
Chan was frowning at the mirror. He'd started using a new conditioner, and now his hair looked all wrong. He wanted to hide it under a hat, but that wouldn't look right at the fancy restaurant they were going to.
Seungmin poked the bathroom door open, "Hyung, are you ready? Our reservation is at 8."
Chan looked at Seungmin in the mirror. He looked so handsome, short hair styled to look effortless, his clothes hung just right off of his slender frame. Chan sighed, "My hair looks bad."
Seungmin said, "No, I like it. I can see your natural texture."
Chan wished he saw whatever Seungmin saw, but he relented and wiped his hands dry before following Seungmin out. Hyunjin was waiting in the kitchen with a bouquet of roses. He handed them to Chan, who blushed and thanked him.
Seungmin ended up driving to the restaurant. There, they had a romantic candle lit dinner with oysters and wine. When they were back in the bedroom, Chan asked what they wanted to do. They both wanted to fuck him. By the end of the night, he was so high off three orgasms he forgot how sad he was about being alone.
In the morning, there were tearful goodbyes, and with that, they were gone.
What Chan didn't know, is that his friend group had planned ahead to help keep his mood up. Over the following weeks, he was always getting hit up by someone. Felix would ask him to come try a new cookie recipe. Minho would cook him dinner. Changbin would meet him for lunch. He'd get late night take out with Jisung while watching anime. Jeongin and him would drive out to try some new spot with good reviews.
At home, he'd started baking. He asked Felix for recipes. Hyunjin and Seungmin would sometimes want something sweet, and baking was the one thing Chan wasn't very good at. So he started trying his hand at different pastries and cakes.
Of course, he knew he was eating a lot, had noticed the softness forming on his waist, but he figured it was fine since he was sad and he would probably work it off later.
Only, Chan didn't take one thing into account. He'd forgotten that saying about your friends and your future.
All of Chan's friends were fat. Changbin was the smallest, since he worked out too, but he still had a large potbelly. Jisung, on the other hand, was so big he hadn't left his apartment in a year.
Each of his friends ate to their hearts content.
When Chan said he should probably stop eating, they'd convince him to get seconds or offer dessert. When he mentioned he'd skipped the gym, they said, "Who cares?" It was a far cry from his boyfriend's strict diets and workouts. It was easy to over indulge when you still weren't eating as much as the guy next to you.
Chan was caught completely off guard when his shirt button flew off while he ate barbecue with Jeongin. Thankfully, the restaurant was empty, so no one saw, but Chan was mortified. Jeongin tried to calm him down, but Chan was inconsolable. They'd gone out to the car, Jeongin paying the bill, and Chan was crying.
"Hyung, it's not that big of a deal."
Chan said, "But I let myself go. Jinnie and Minnie are gonna break up with me for someone cooler and hotter."
Jeongin softened, "I let myself go a long time ago. Beomgyu still thinks I'm hot. If anything, I think he tries to get me fatter."
"But you've always been better looking than me. All I ever had was abs."
"Hyung, haven't you been video calling Seungmin and Hyunjin?"
Chan sniffled, "Yeah?"
Jeongin said, "Then they know what you look like. And you look fine. And there's a thousand reasons they're attracted to you that have nothing to do with you're body."
Chan wanted to believe him. But he looked down at the way his belly (he had a belly?) poked out of his shirt, and he felt pathetic.
Jeongin said, "You wanna go home?"
Chan said, "Yeah."
As they drove back, Chan was planning in his head. He'd start sticking to his old meal plan again. No more baking. He'd order light foods when he went out to eat. He'd be strict about the gym and he'd double his cardio. He had a month left till Hyunjin came back. He could lose at least some of the weight by then.
Only, by the time he got home he was emotionally exhausted. He spotted the coffee cake he'd made earlier. Fuck it. He felt like shit. Dieting could wait till tomorrow.
That's how he ended up at the table with a massive piece of cake and a glass of milk. Only he couldn't stop. He kept cutting another piece, kept topping off the glass of milk. He only stopped when he realized there was one corner left. He was stuffed full, and it hurt.
He glanced at the time. Only then did he remember he was supposed to talk to Hyunjin and Seungmin. One look at his swollen stomach and ruined shirt had him heaving himself up to go change before they could call him.
Seungmin was struggling. He missed Korea, he wasn't sure how much longer he could make it without seeing Chan and Hyunjin.
Tonight was another show in another city that he didn't care to explore. He was sticking to his routines though. The only thing powering him through his workout was the knowledge that afterwards, he should have about 2 hours to talk to his boyfriends.
Sure enough, as he was slipping on a robe and drying his hair after his shower, the group face time call popped up on his screen. He smiled like a simp seeing Chan and Hyunjin's faces. He clicked on the call and walked out of his hotel bathroom to flop onto the bed.
There was Hyunjin, blearily rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and Chan looking cozy on the couch at the end of the day.
"Good morning," Hyunjin said, voice still half asleep.
Chan giggled, "Jinnie it's 10:13."
Chan shifted his position, and Seungmin noticed the fullness of his cheeks. The way he'd held the phone the last time he talked showed Seungmin the cute belly he was sporting these days. But the close up of his face was nice too.
Seungmin took in Hyunjin too, with his bed head and tiny smudges of last nights makeup still evident around his eyes.
Chan asked, "Minnie, how are you? You're being quiet."
"Sorry," Seungmin said, snapping out of his trance, "I'm really homesick."
Hyunjin said, "Same. I miss waking up next to you guys."
Seungmin said, "I miss Chan's cooking."
Chan pouted, "Stop, I was just crying."
"Oh?" Seungmin asked.
Hyunjin was suddenly wide awake, "What's wrong? Did something happen?"
Chan shook his head, "It was just a long day. And I miss you guys. Our apartment is too big for one person." There was something more that was bothering him, Seungmin could tell by Chan's guarded expression.
Hyunjin said, "Are you sure? The next job I'm doing isn't that important. I can cancel and come home early."
Chan shook his head, almost too fast, "It's okay, Jinnie. It's not like there was an emergency or anything. Just my anxiety acting up. But Jeongin helped. And now I get to talk to you guys before bed. So I'll be okay, really."
Seungmin could tell Chan was lying. He knew the tells when his boyfriend was struggling with his mental health. He probed gently, "Do you wanna talk about what was making you anxious?"
Chan shook his head, "No, my life is boring. Tell me about America. I've never been."
Giving up, Seungmin updated them on his recent escapades. Then Hyunjin talked about Europe and the drama that had gone down during Paris fashion week. Then they talked about random shit.
As the conversation wore on, Chan moved to their bedroom. His yawns became more and more frequent, while Seungmin had texts from his manager reminding him he had to be in hair and makeup in 15. Still, they managed to keep talking till Chan was nodding off.
They wished him goodnight with phone kisses, reluctantly ended the call, and got up to do their jobs.
When Chan woke up the next day, he was met with a mix of leftover feelings from yesterday. He missed his boyfriends so much, but the last thing he wanted was for one of them to come home early. On one hand, it would be bad for their careers. On the other hand, he had to slim down.
Stepping on the scale was eye opening. He normally weighed about 76 kg. Now he weighed 89 kg. That was a big difference. He knew from Hyunjin having to cut sometimes that it wasn't healthy to lose more than a kilogram a week. Which meant that the most he'd probably be able to lose was about 4 before Hyunjin returned. He sighed. Would that even be noticeable?
Despite all he'd had last night, he was hungry for a proper breakfast. Instead, he had a protien shake and went straight to the gym.
His workout felt brutal. He could feel the loss in strength from skipping so much the past few weeks. He felt like he was punishing himself when he finished a long hour of strength training and hopped on the treadmill. He wasn't much of a runner, but today he set a decent pace. Not a sprint, but more than a jog.
He was a third of the way through the distance he'd wanted to go when Changbin called him. Chan pressed pause on the machine, since he was breathing so heavily he couldn't speak.
"Hey, Bin, what's up?"
Changbin said, "Did you still wanna get brunch today?"
"I forgot about that." Chan considered. If he said yes, he'd have to end his workout now. Really though, he'd already done a lot. "Yeah, let me go shower and change, then I'll meet you at our usual spot."
Chan rushed home. Starving as he walked through the door, he spotted the last piece of the coffee cake he'd demolished the night before. He figured he might as well eat it since it would stop him from overdoing it at brunch. Not wanting a repeat of last night's incident, after showering he threw on a big sweater.
As he drove to the restaurant, he told himself he wouldn't order too much. Only, that was before he stepped inside and smelled the food. Their weekend spot was a place that served a Korean take on a classic American breakfast, with American sized portions too.
He met Changbin where he was already seated, and smiled, "Hey."
"Hi hyung," I already got you a mimosa," Changbin said, gesturing to the drink.
Chan thanked him, and started sipping it, even though he knew he should probably watch how many calories he drank. Yet as he enjoyed the beverage and perused the menu, his resolve crumbled.
When the server came over, telling himself he'd just eat light the rest of the day, he ordered his usual platter that came with pork belly, a rice bowl with eggs and veggies, and pancakes.
The portions were probably big enough for two meals, but Chan had never struggled to polish it all off. Today was no different. And it was easy to excuse it when Changbin had ordered even more food, and topped his meal off with a sugary hot cocoa.
Chan realized he could have kept eating after he was done, and drowned that thought out by downing his third drink. He checked his phone.
Felix: Can you come over for a bit? Wooyoung is with his friends and I'm bored
Chan asked Changbin if he wanted to keep hanging out, but Changbin had a date with Yeonjun.
Chan: Sure. Btw I'm a little tipsy
Felix: I don't care. We both know I'm high lol
True. How Felix and Wooyoung were always well supplied with weed in Korea was beyond Chan. Him and Changbin said their goodbyes, he got in his car, and he drove out to Felix's house.
Felix answered the door by pulling him into a soft hug and asked, "Do you wanna keep watching that anime we started the other night?"
Chan said, "Sure, that sounds nice."
Chan followed as Felix shuffled inside. By the time they made it to the couch, Felix sounded out of breath. He sat down with a thud, and Chan sat next to him. On the coffee table were two containers of cookies, a tin of brownies, and a couple bags of chips.
Felix was flipping through the TV to find the episode they left off on, when he said, "Actually, hold up, I need ramen. You want some?"
Chan said yes without thinking.
After, he remembered he wasn't supposed to eat too much today and he'd just had a big meal, but he didn't wanna be weird and change his mind. His internal debate continued till there was a steaming cup of noodles in front of him. He looked down at his small belly, but then compared himself to Felix next to him.
Really, Chan hadn't gotten so big he couldn't bounce back. Felix though, spent his free time baking (in both senses of the word) and it showed. His stomach took up a big part of his lap, and his thighs took up a third of the large couch.
Chan relaxed and let himself fill his belly with the warm noodles. When they'd finished their noodles, Felix reached for chocolate chip cookies. Something sweet after all that sodium sounded nice, so Chan grabbed one too.
As they watched the show and yapped, the container was emptied. Then Felix opened the bag of chips, propping it up between him. Chan found himself reaching for those as well, now wanted some salt to replace the sugar and chocolate in his mouth.
When there was nothing left but crumbs, Felix reached for the brownies with a grunt. Chan could feel how full he was now, but Felix's brownies always hit different. Of the full batch in the container, Felix had two, while Chan had mindlessly consumed the rest.
As he reached for one more and found nothing but the plastic of the Tupperware, his phone buzzed. He answered to hear Jisung's voice.
"Hyung, do you wanna come over? Minho was gonna hang out with me but he's not feeling good."
Chan said, "I don't know, I'm with Felix right now."
In the distance, the front door opened. Wooyoung walked into the living room a moment later, with a bag of fried chicken.
"Hey Jagiya, I bought dinner. Sorry Chan, I didn't know you were here, or I would have picked something up for you."
Chan shrugged, "It's okay, I think I'm gonna go hangout with Jisung. You two have a good night!"
He hugged Felix goodbye before standing carefully, aware of his painfully stuffed stomach. He was annoyed when he had to bend down to get his shoes on, but then he was on his way.
Jisung lived closer to Chan's apartment, but thankfully he was able to find street parking close by. He went inside and up the elevator to Jisung's floor. Jisung had long since given him the door code so he didn't have to get up to let him in. He found his best friend in his massive reinforced bed. Chan hopped up next to him.
"How are you?" Chan asked.
Jisung huffed, "I'm really sad that I can't see Minho, but you haven't seen your partners in forever, so I shouldn't complain."
Chan said, "It's okay, Sungie, you were looking forward to it."
Jisung asked, "How are you doing by the way? You still have a month till Hyunjin gets back, right?"
Chan nodded, "It's been hard. I don't know. Like, you know how anxious and insecure I get, but last night my belly poked through my shirt. I'm really worried that Seungmin and Hyunjin won't like that I gained weight. And then, instead of eating less, I haven't stopped stuffing my face all night and all day."
Jisung put his hand on Chan's, "You've probably been eating because of stress, or for comfort. I know that's why I got big in the first place. It's normal for your weight to fluctuate."
Chan sighed, and leaned against Jisung's plush side, "I know. I just look different. And I know plenty of people don't mind it, but what if Hyunjin and Seungmin aren't like you and Minho, or like Wooyoung or Beomgyu. What if they don't think I'm attractive anymore?"
Jisung said, "Well, the worst case scenario is that they don't like it, and rather than being the loving, amazing boyfriends we know them to be, they treat you bad for it. In which case I would say you were better off without them.
"But I doubt they will look at you any differently. It's up to you whether you try to lose it or just let it be, but you can't assume the worst when they've always shown you that they love you."
Chan said, "Jisungie, you're all grown up. When did you get so wise?"
Jisung snorted, "Hyung, I'm pushing thirty. And you're the one that made me go to therapy. Maybe you should try it."
Chan changed the subject, "What do you wanna do?"
Jisung said, "I've been wanting to start Frieren."
Chan said, "Oh, I heard it's good."
Jisung said, "I was also thinking about ordering pizza."
Chan looked down at his stomach, unsure if he should eat more. Jisung said, "You don't have to eat any unless you want to, but I'm starving."
He placed the order, then they started the show. It was really good, and soon, Chan found himself immersed. When the pizza arrived, he got up to get it. It was an unspoken rule when hanging out with Jisung that he never was the one to go get something, even though could move around, but it was way harder at his immense size than it was for everyone else.
Chan opened the door and was handed 3 boxes of pizza and one of cheesy bread. He thanked the driver and went back to Jisung's room with the food. Jisung thanked him and started opening the boxes. Chan bit his lip, seeing and smelling the fresh pizza. When was the last time he had some good pizza? And Jisung had even ordered his favorite toppings, meat lovers.
A weak man, he caved and chowed down on pizza too. They also got beer out of Jisung's fridge. Soon, Chan felt tipsy again, and his stomach hurt from the near constant eating he'd done all afternoon and evening.
Jisung was finishing his second pizza when Chan's phone rang. Chan pulled it out, and saw his boyfriends. Right, they were supposed to talk. Jisung said, "Do you need to leave?"
Chan said, "No, Hyunjin only has twenty minutes."
He answered the call. Hyunjin looked sweaty, probably from a run, while Seungmin was eating.
Jisung grabbed the phone. Hyunjin said, "Are you keeping Channie company for us?"
Jisung said, "Yeah, but he's annoying so you need to come back."
Chan snatched the phone back as he said, "You asked me to come over. I can leave, you know."
Seungmin rolled his eyes before asking, "Was today better than yesterday?"
Chan shrugged, "Yeah? I mostly hung out with people all day." He changed the subject to ask about their lives, and too soon, they both had to go.
Jisung was looking at him with something Chan hoped wasn't pity, before Jisung piped up, "I have some ice cream in the freezer, do you want dessert?"
A quart of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream later, Chan's mood was lifted but his eyelids were drooping. Jisung must've noticed and he asked, "Stay the night?" Chan didn't really have a choice, half asleep and too full to move.
Once they were tucked in, it reminded him of the old days when they shared an apartment and Jisung would get in Chan's bed because of his anxiety.
Chan gave up on dieting after he reflected and realized that he truly didn't want to. Plus, he reasoned that there were worse coping mechanisms than food, so he didn't change his ways. Sure, he noticed that less and less of his wardrobe fit, but he told himself it wasn't that deep.
Eventually, the day rolled around when Hyunjin was returning.
Chan was so excited about seeing him he temporarily forgot his anxiety about his appearance. He wore one of Seungmin's oversized hoodies (nevermind that it fit just right) and some sweatpants. He had cleaned the house to perfection and bought ingredients to make Hyunjin's favorite meal for dinner. Hyunjin texted him when his driver picked him up and that he was on the way.
Chan was practically buzzing when the door finally opened. Hyunjin let go of his bags and wrapped Chan up in a bear hug. Upon feeling Hyunjin's arms around his wider waist, Chan felt self conscious. He stepped back from the hug without thinking, and to Hyunjin's confusion, he said, "Yah, take your shoes off! And you can't just leave your things in the hall," he went out to grab one of the suitcases.
Hyunjin said, "Sorry, I was just so happy to see you." He grabbed the rest of his things and brought them into the entryway, before removing his sneakers. He went back over to Chan, who stepped back again.
Hyunjin frowned, "Okay, what's happening? This is more than you being a neat freak. I haven't seen you for three whole months and you won't let me kiss you?"
Chan hated it. How crush Hyunjin looked. The way his voice seemed on the verge of breaking. He'd been working so hard, was probably jetlagged, and had been looking forward to this moment for weeks just for Chan to fuck it up.
Hesitant, he said, "I don't want you to touch me."
Hyunjin pouted, "Why, you're my cuddle bug?"
Chan said, "I just don't want you to feel my body and think I'm gross."
Confusion twisted his perfect face, Hyunjin asked, "Why would you be gross? If anything, I'm gross since I've been on a plane for forever and haven't showered in two days."
Overwhelmed, Chan blurted, "'Cause I got fat! And the only reason I was good enough for you and Seungmin was because I was hot. Now you guys won't want me anymore and then I'll be all alone."
Hyunjin said, "What? Hyung, what the fuck are you saying?"
Chan blinked at him. He'd never heard Hyunjin direct this tone at him before.
Hyunjin stepped closer and said, "What have I been doing, or not doing, to make you think I just thought you were hot? That that was the only reason I'm with you? You're my everything, and I love you for so many reasons that have nothing to do with what you look like or even sex for that matter. Like what?"
Chan felt something wet slide down his face.
"Fuck," Hyunjin said, "Is that why you're always so insecure about your hair or whatever the fuck? Because you think you're not enough to be with us? The fuck is that logic? We were broke losers when we met you. You helped us get our shit together. We would still be broke, I'd be waiting tables, Seungmin would have fucking trainee debt, if you hadn't been there."
Hyunjin pushed his hand through his hair, and stalked off into the main room. Chan trailed behind him. Hyunjin said, "I think I need a shower and a nap."
In a small, wet, wavering voice, Chan said, "Okay." Chan watched him walk off to his room, feeling useless. Chan hated feeling useless.
With gritted teeth he turned back to the bags in the foyer and pulled them all into the living room. He sorted through them, took all the dirty clothes to the laundry room, started a load, and then he went to put other things away in Hyunjin's room as the other showered.
Chan tried his best to ignore the sobs coming from behind the bathroom door.
Once he'd put everything away, he started on dinner, assuming Hyunjin would want a hot meal when he woke up. So Chan cooked. He cooked and the food was probably going to end up too salty because his tears fell onto the veggies he chopped and the meat he prepared.
In the distance, he heard talking. He wondered who Hyunjin was on the phone with.
When Hyunjin finally emerged from his room, his eyes were red, and he looked drained. He wore a tank top and sweatpants and slippers. He padded into the kitchen, and frowned at Chan, "What are you doing?"
Chan spoke with a frog in his throat, "What do you mean?"
Hyunjin said, "You didn't have to put all my stuff away, and now you're cooking? When you were already upset and then I yelled at you and stormed out?"
Chan shrugged, "This is how I handle my feelings. I clean, I sort, I cook, and apparently now I eat my feelings too. I don't know. Jisung says I should try therapy, and maybe he's right, but-"
"Hyung!" Hyunjin yanked the pot out of Chan's hands. He said, "Sorry, you were shaking and I was worried." Hyunjin carried the pot to the table. Hyunjin continued, "I just got off the phone with Seungmin. We knew you weren't telling us something, but we didn't know what. I'm sorry I didn't handle it well, but it hurt thinking you thought I was that shallow."
He took a deep breath, "And thank you for putting my things away and making dinner. I appreciate all the things you do for us, but I want you to know you don't have to. Minnie would tell you the same."
Not knowing what to say, Chan was quiet.
Hyunjin asked, "Can I give you a hug and kiss now?"
Chan nodded. Despite feeling too big and aware of his body for the past weeks, in Hyunjin's arms, he felt just right. Hyunjin pressed his lips to his forehead and held him.
"We're not going anywhere, Hyung." Hyunjin breathed as he leaned back a bit. He wiped off Chan's tears, and held his face like it was the most precious thing in the world.
Chan mumbled, "Why are you so perfect?"
Hyunjin said, "I should be asking you that." He pecked him on the lips, then said, "I'm starving, and that smells really good. Can we eat?"
Chan nodded.
Hyunjin practically forced him into a seat and brought the rest of the food over. He poured them glasses of water before settling down so they could eat. Silence reigned at first, aside from Hyunjin exclaiming how he missed Chan's cooking.
Eventually, Hyunjin started chattering about some drama on the set of his last photoshoot. Chan listened, relieved. It felt normal. The only thing missing was Seungmin, but even when he was in the city, he came home late a lot.
Chan was trying to pace himself, so he didn't pig out the way he had been. Maybe he seemed awkward, but Hyunjin at one point told him to relax before going back to the topic of conversation. Chan did, getting more soup for his bowl and more rice.
When they were done eating, Hyunjin insisted that Chan just rinse the dishes off and deal with them tomorrow. Then he dragged him to his room.
Hyunjin took off his sweatpants and tank top to get ready for bed, but Chan stood there, terrified. When Hyunjin noticed, he said, "Channie hyung, please? It'll be okay."
Chan steeled his nerves, and he started with his pants. He grimaced when he saw his thighs jiggle as he stepped out of them. Then he sucked in his gut before pulling off the hoodie. He immediately dove into the covers. Hyunjin slid in next to him and wrapped an arm around him.
He said, "See, everything's okay. Now we can cuddle and go to sleep."
Chan tried to relax, but it was hard. After Hyunjin had drifted off, Chan carefully turned to reach for his phone.
He texted Jisung, "Maybe you were onto something when you said I should try therapy."
The next day was awkward. Chan had woken up and left for the gym before Hyunjin had even got up. He hated that he was waking up alone again. He sighed and got up and got dressed. He was deciding what to eat for breakfast when Chan came back.
Hyunjin asked, "Are you hungry? I don't know what to eat."
Chan said, "I wasn't gonna eat yet."
Hyunjin frowned, "Are you sure?" When Chan didn't respond, Hyunjin said, "Well, I might go to the cafe down the street and pick something up. Do you want something?"
Chan shook his head. Hyunjin made it to the door of the cafe before he realized he forgot his wallet. When he went back inside the apartment, he froze when he saw Chan on the kitchen floor, shoveling cereal into his mouth like he was starving. Chan looked up wide eyed, caught.
Meanwhile, Hyunjin felt a mix of feelings. One, he didn't like that Chan seemed to think he had to eat in secret. But also, something about seeing the massive mixing bowl he ate out of, the huge serving spoon in his hand, the almost empty gallon of milk next to him, and the drops of milk on his chin he hadn't wiped off yet, it all made something in Hyunjin's stomach stir.
At a loss for words, Hyunjin just grunted, "Forgot my wallet." And picked it up from the counter before darting outside. When he returned later with food, Chan was in the shower, and all evidence of his cereal binge was gone.
Hyunjin ate in solitude; then he went to his little art studio. He expected there to be dust collecting on the shelves, but Chan must've cleaned in here.
Hyunjin didn't have any clear visions for a new big project, instead he just opened the sketchbook book he'd traveled with. Flipping through, he found one drawing that would be cool as a larger painting. So he got out a canvas and started transferring the sketch onto it. When he was done, he thought about cracking open his paints, but instead decided to find Chan and see if he wanted to do anything today.
When asked, Chan shrugged, "I'm not the one who's been busy nonstop for months. What sounds fun for you?"
Hyunjin said, "I don't know, maybe we could get barbecue and go bowling."
Chan smiled, "Ok, I'd be down."
Hyunjin said, "I'm not hungry yet though. Can we play a game?"
Chan shrugged, "Sure." They went to the living room and after some debate, settled on Super Smash Bros. They played for a while, and Hyunjin was happy to see some of the tension lift from Chan's shoulders as they laughed and had fun.
They went out for a late lunch at Hyunjin's favorite barbecue spot. The owners were always happy to let them into the private room. Hyunjin had missed k-barbecue during all his time traveling Europe and Asia.
The cereal incident must've changed something in his head, because Chan talked and ate more freely now. Hyunjin enjoyed hearing updates on Chan's friends and life here. Hyunjin watched as most of the food on the table ended up in Chan's stomach, which was starting to poke out against the t-shirt he wore. Again, for some reason, Hyunjin found he liked it.
When they were done eating, they made their way to the bowling alley. They got their balls and were putting their shoes on when Chan said shyly, "I kind of want to order fries."
Hyunjin could tell he was gauging his reaction, trying to see if Hyunjin would comment about it being too much food. However, Hyunjin (well, Hyunjin's dick) thought it was a great idea. "Order whatever you want."
Soon, they were bowling, Hyunjin winning like usual, but Chan was happily snacking on fries and sipping on a milkshake. They bowled two frames, before they decided to head home for Seungmin's call. As Chan drove, Hyunjin texted Seungmin.
Hyunjin: I think I like it.
Seungmin: like what?
Hyunjin: His belly. How much he eats.
Seungmin: like it's hot to you?
Hyunjin: Yeah. Is that weird? Am I creepy? I don't wanna say anything because he was so uncomfortable about it
Seungmin: yeah, you probably shouldn't bring it up. not when it's still a sensitive subject.
Later, after they finished talking with Seungmin, Chan turned to look up at Hyunjin, "What do you wanna do now?"
Hyunjin met his gaze with a mischievous look, "Hmm, I think I wanna kiss you."
Chan giggled as Hyunjin began attacking him with kisses. Hyunjin repositioned them so Chan was leaning back against the couch and Hyunjin was straddling him. The change in position made Chan's stomach flip. It had been so long.
They began making out in earnest, and Chan felt Hyunjin's hardening member poking him. It settled something in him, knowing he was still attractive to Hyunjin. They made love on the sofa, then they moved to Chan's room to do it rougher. Hyunjin took him on the wall, and on the bed.
Chan was spent. He had already done more physical activity than normal today, and Hyunjin had just put him through a second workout. He caught his breath and drifted off under a sweaty and blissed out Hyunjin.
He woke up sticky and cold. He sat up with pain, sore from the ab workout he'd put himself through that morning. Hyunjin came in from the bathroom with a wet wash cloth and a towel. He said, "I needed that. I missed you so much."
He cleaned Chan up tenderly, and Chan tried not to let himself focus on the fact that Hyunjin could see and feel his naked body. It was okay, it was okay, it was okay.
"Channie, breathe," Hyunjin said, concern lacing his voice.
Chan realized he was panicking. "Sorry," he said.
Hyunjin said, "Don't apologize, I just want you to feel better, and I feel like shit because I don't know how to help. Do you want space while you get dressed?"
Chan nodded. Hyunjin left, cracking the door. Chan took a deep breath, trying to remember the breathing exercise Jisung had taught him. Right, 4 seconds in, hold it for 7, let it out for 8. Chan did it a few times, till he felt his body and mind relax.
Chan and Hyunjin fell into a bit of a rhythm the next few weeks. Hyunjin started working on art, normally when Chan would go to see his friends. Otherwise they were practically glued at the hip. Chan stopped trying to workout, preferring to spend lazy mornings in bed with Hyunjin.
Finally, Seungmin was back in Seoul. He was practically vibrating with excitement as his car pulled up to his building. He grabbed his suitcases and breezed inside. He finally reached the door to his penthouse, was finally home, and he opened the door.
He wheeled his luggage in and was kicking off his shoes when Hyunjin bounded around the corner. They embraced and kissed, but then Seungmin said, "Wait, where's Chan?"
Hyunjin sighed, "He won't leave his room. I don't know why. He seemed fine this morning and has been better lately, but something must've happened when he went to get ready."
Seungmin made a beeline for Chan's room. He knocked on the door. "Chan hyung? It's Seungmin. Can I come in?"
Chan said, "I guess."
Seungmin pushed the door open, and peered inside. He saw Chan's foot poking out of the closet. Seungmin made his way over, and sat outside of it.
"Hey, Jagiya, what's going on?"
Chan said, "I had a panic attack. I'm calmer now."
Seungmin said, "What caused it?"
After a pause, Chan said, "I don't have any pants that fit."
Seungmin said, "Oh that's fine. Well, we can order you some pants today. It'll be okay. Can I give you a hug?"
Chan hummed. Seungmin opened the closet door and wrapped his arms around Chan, who sat on the floor, surrounded by a pile of too-small pants. Chan's tears got on Seungmin's hoodie, and he didn't mind. He was home, in Chan's grasp, and everything would be okay.
Hyunjin padded into the room, and sat behind Seungmin, "Chan, are you okay?"
Chan relayed what happened to Hyunjin. Hyunjin's ears reddened and he made an indecipherable noise when Chan said none of his pants fit, and Seungmin sighed.
They were gonna have to address that at some point, too.
It was a lazy day. They gamed, turned on a movie, and decided to get fried chicken. Hyunjin had placed the order, and when Seungmin got it at the door, he was a bit surprised at the amount of food.
At first he was gonna ask why he got so much. But then he remembered what Hyunjin had texted him weeks ago, and decided to just… observe.
He brought the food to the living room. Chan was settled in the corner of their huge sofa, wearing a hoodie that was too small, clinging to his body, and his waist and legs were covered with a fluffy blanket. Hyunjin sat cross-legged next to him. Seungmin left to get himself another beer from the kitchen.
He came back to see Hyunjin had set aside Seungmin's wing combo. Seungmin sat to eat his fries and wings, while Hyunjin and Chan "shared" a bucket of chicken meant for 6. Hyunjin had maybe two pieces total, while Chan demolished the rest. He ate distracted, focused on the film. He looked cute, rocking a bit as he chewed and his eyes were bright.
Soon, Chan was done with the bucket, even as Seungmin struggled to eat the last of his fries. Hyunjin handed Chan the large lemonade he'd ordered, and Chan chugged half of it. Then Hyunjin reached for a basket of fries, obviously meant to be shared. Hyunjin ate a few here or there, but Chan plowed through them like it was nothing.
When he was done, he slurped up the rest of the lemonade, and then he burped into his fist. Seungmin noted Hyunjin's half lidded gaze, the way he didn't even pretend like he cared about the movie anymore.
As Chan wiped off his hands and mouth, Hyunjin asked, "Desert? We have that ice cream you like."
Seungmin expected Chan to decline, declare he was full, but instead he smiled, "Yeah, could you go get it please?"
Hyunjin said, "Of course," pecked him on the cheek, and hopped up to get it. He didn't even ask if Seungmin wanted something. He returned with a whole quart and a spoon, and he handed it to Chan, who thanked him and started eating again.
By the time the credits rolled, Chan had finished his ice cream. He sank back into the plush couch with a grimace on his face.
Hyunjin leaned over him, muttering something about ice cream on his chin. Hyunjin wiped it off tenderly, then they were kissing. Seungmin still sat back and watched as Hyunjin's hands roamed down Chan's torso. He massaged Chan's belly, causing moans to slip out of Chan's mouth between kisses.
Seungmin felt his arousal growing, and he said, "Do you two wanna take this to the bedroom?"
They stood awkwardly, trying to keep kissing whilst they did so. The blanket Chan had been buried under all day fell away, revealing skintight boxers and the way the hem of his hoodie rested on top of his stomach. As they made their way towards Chan's room, Seungmin had a delicious view of the way Chan's middle and large backside wobbled.
Maybe he was just as bad as Hyunjin, because he liked it too.
Time went on. Chan found a therapist, and had started seeing her twice a month. Seungmin and Hyunjin enjoyed their break, then they were busy with work again.
Things felt normal, yet different. For one, Hyunjin and Seungmin had always loved bringing Chan little gifts. Now, these gifts were either some form of food or sweet treat, or clothes in larger sizes. Chan noticed they seemed to have no issue with his eating habits, instead making sure he had as much as he could want. And his worries about them not being attracted to him seemed so silly, since they seemed ready to pounce on him at every opportunity.
Tonight, Hyunjin was going to some event and dinner, and Seungmin had an awards show. So Chan made plans with his friends.
It was the original group, none of their partners. They brought food, Changbin brought drinks, Felix brought baked goods and edibles. They pulled up at Jisung's, where there was already an impressive spread of snacks and dessert on the coffee table in the living room. They settled into the couches surrounding it.
Felix passed around the edibles, and Chan took two, even it had been a while since he'd been high. Then, they each did shots, before digging in to the first of the food.
Before long, Chan was stuffed with beer and soju, noodles and mandu and pizza. Felix had made brownies, and Chan took the whole container for himself. He held the pan, wedged in between the sofa arm and Jisung, while his Felix and Jeongin sandwiched Changbin on the other couch across from them.
Now that they'd sated their hunger and were just appeasing their greed, they talked more. The conversation focused around each of their relationships.
When it got to Chan, he said, "Everything is good. I had been worried, you guys know this, but they're perfect. They buy me treats all the time and rub my belly after I eat too much and never say anything negative about it."
Chan didn't miss the glances exchanged around the room.
Jeongin said, "And everything's cool sex wise?"
Chan sighed, "Yeah, only, it's almost like we have too much sex. Like they can't take their hands off me. They bought me a bunch of new clothes, just so they could rip me out of them."
Jisung blurted, "So they're feeders. That's perfect."
Jeongin yelled "Hyung!" Everyone glared at Jisung.
Chan was just confused, "What does that mean?"
Changbin explained, "It means they like your weight, and like feeding you." Chan processed while Changbin went on, "There's different ways people interact with it. Yeonjun likes that I'm bigger but can still throw him around."
Jeongin said, "Beomgyu likes my size, and would like it if I got bigger, but I'm not necessarily trying to gain intentionally."
Felix said, "Wooyoung likes that I'm basically a bottomless pit when I'm high. I think he's trying to get me as big as Jisung."
Jisung smirked, "Minho likes that he's huge by most people's standards, but he looks small next to me."
Chan said, "Should I ask them if they're into it?"
With a devilish smirk, Changbin said, "You could, or, I might have a better idea."
The next day, it was like a switch had flipped in Chan, and it was driving his boyfriends wild.
They both had the day off, and watched in awe as even after an excessive hangover breakfast, he never stopped eating. He always had a snack within reach. He still did chores, but he took breaks to get off his feet, stuffing his face more in between.
After lunch, he asked Seungmin for a belly rub. Hyunjin watched as Chan seemed effected by every touch. When Seungmin stopped, Chan said, "Hyunjinnie, I want something sweet, can you bring me the cookies I made earlier? And the gallon of vanilla ice cream?"
Hyunjin did. Chan ate the whole batch, albeit at a snail's pace, since he had to be ridiculously full by now. He let the ice cream sit on the table and start to melt.
After he finished the cookies, he leaned forward with great difficulty to grab the ice cream. The spoon lay neglected as he spread his thighs, took the lid off, and then he drank the ice cream.
Hyunjin's jaw dropped. As Chan chugged, he could literally see his belly expand with each gulp. Hyunjin looked over at Seungmin, who was just as hard as he was.
Seungmin met his gaze, and mouthed, "He knows."
It clicked. Chan must've been trying to tease them. Well, it was fucking working.
Chan finished, and set the tub down. He noted their erections, and said, "Couple of freaks. I know I was anxious but you could have just said you thought it was hot. Now, who wants to give me head?"