Work Text:
Somewhere in the dark room, his phone rings. Eddie doesn’t want to talk to anyone. Hen came and picked up Chris when he found the note this morning, heart shattered into a billion pieces and he knew he couldn’t be a parent today. She tried to talk to him, but he just showed her the note, and closed the bedroom door in her face.
“I love you. I’m safe. Don’t try to find me.”
He did call Maddie frantically, begging. But all she’d tell him was the same thing the note said - that Buck loved him but that he wasn’t coming home and that Eddie shouldn’t try to find him. The ONLY thing that kept him from throwing his phone across the room was the possibility that he might call, and it wouldn’t do any good if Eddie broke his one connection left to the man he thought he’d spend the rest of his life with.
He knows it’s probably not Buck - he has a special ring tone - one the man himself had set years ago and Eddie had never changed it. But, maybe he’s using someone else’s phone. It’s the only thing that pulls him from under the covers to reach for it.
It’s not Buck.
It’s his lawyer. Nothing good can come of him answering this now, but with the pending court case his parents’ filed, he can’t ignore it, either.
“Eddie Diaz, speaking.”
“Mr. Diaz, This is Doug Mansfield. I have news concerning the custody suit that has been filed regarding Christopher Diaz.”
He sighs. “Yes. What is it?”
“Ramon and Helena Diaz have dropped the suit in its entirety. They are no longer challenging your custody, nor your competence to be a fit parent. It’s over.”
“What? Really?”
“Really.”
“Can they do this again?”
“No. They’ve signed documentation that states they are no longer pursuing the matter.”
“Did they say what changed their minds?”
“They did not. Just that they are stepping away.”
“Ok. Thank you.”
He disconnects the call and lays back onto the bed, the sobs starting back up again. He wants to be relieved. He should be. But all he wants is to tell Buck. To celebrate and file those adoption papers they had talked about. Marry him without worrying about what his parents were trying to do.
And now he’s gone.
-
One Day Ago
Life’s hard right now. Though, Buck thinks, when hasn't it been? He and Eddie have more collective trauma than everyone he knows combined. But realizing you’re in love with someone in the middle of a grief spiral isn’t the easiest thing to do, and the past year has been tumultuous to say the least. However, neither of them would have survived it without the other.
They knew that the Diaz’s wouldn’t be happy when Eddie came out. There’s a reason he’d repressed his sexuality for as long as he did. They weren’t even totally surprised when they brought Chris into it - it’s a threat they’ve made constantly since he was a toddler.
But when they hired a dirty cut throat lawyer that made Chase Mackey look like a sweet little lamb, things got dicey. Evidence was fabricated, twisted, bought and paid for. Every single tiny misstep Eddie and Buck had ever made in their lives was open to misinterpretation - things that never should have seen the light of day were suddenly very big deals.
Eddie’s time in Afghanistan, the entire reason he was given a Silver Star was now a transgression because he didn’t save one of the people in his unit. Other calls he made in the field were investigated and determined to be mistakes (even if they weren’t regarded so by the Army). Buck’s youthful travels were considered flighty and irresponsible, full of sexual deviance and misconduct. His lawsuit against the department was a massive strike against him, not to mention his chronic medical issues after the truck explosion. The list of offenses, especially from Buck’s reckless and wild history was long. And the judge overseeing the case was being well compensated.
For the first time, it was looking pretty bleak. Eddie might truly lose custody of Christopher, no matter how many people they had on their side giving character witnesses, no matter how many CPS reviews they went through. They were LOSING.
But they weren’t giving up. They’d never give up. Chris was their son, and Buck wouldn’t let Eddie lose him. It didn’t matter what he had to do - anything. He’d do anything to ensure that didn’t happen.
They talked about official adoption. They talked about marriage. They talked about forever.
And today, he’s opening the door to Maddie’s, arms full of groceries. He’s gonna make her brunch before asking for his grandfather’s ring. No matter what happens next, whatever challenges they face, he and Eddie are going to do it together.
“Hey little brother. Come on in! Wow, that’s a LOT of stuff.” She takes one of the bags and gives him a side hug with the other arm.
“Figured I’d spoil you a little. I brought champagne for mimosas if you want.” He pulls the bottle out of the bag.
“Um, YES. Pop that, I’ll get the glasses. Are we celebrating something?”
“Maybe in advance? Wanted to ask you something - had planned on waiting until after we eat though.”
She tilts her head sideways. “Ooooh I bet I know what this is about.”
“You can probably guess.”
“Pour that. I’ll be right back.” She disappears into the bedroom, returning with a little box, and sets it down on the counter.
Buck breathes deep, leans over the counter, pausing before he flips it open. “Fuck, it’s perfect.”
“Needs polished, it’s been in that box for a few decades. But it looks like Eddie, I think. He’s a pretty classic guy, but the sapphire is a nice touch. Does he have any idea this even exists?”
“He knows it exists - he has his Abuelo’s ring, so I told him there was an heirloom from ours. But he doesn’t know this belongs to me. I told him you had it. This conversation was way before either one of us knew we liked men.”
“And he doesn’t know you’re going to propose either?”
Buck shakes his head. “We want to get married, but with everything going on with his parents, it’s just a lot right now, you know? I just - I want him to know they don’t scare me. That I love him no matter what. That I’ll do absolutely anything in my power to keep Chris with us, that he’s our son, not theirs. God I’d lay down my life for them, Maddie.”
She puts her hand over the one holding the ring. “I know you would. And I’m so incredibly happy for you, Evan. You deserve to be loved like this, deserve a family like this. I probably wouldn’t give you the ring otherwise. I’d have hung onto it if you’d asked me when you were with Tommy.” She raises her eyebrow. “I was a little afraid you would.”
“God. What a mess that would have been. Could you even imagine?”
“I don’t want to. You’re where you’re supposed to be now.”
“I really am.” He puts the ring back in the box for safe keeping, pours the champagne and hands her a glass. “To true love and friendship.”
-
He gets home shortly after 1 - Eddie over at Pepa’s with Chris and not planning on being back until late that evening. He’s doing chores around the house when there’s a knock at the door.
Buck wipes his hands and opens the door. Ramon Diaz is standing on the front porch. “Ramon. Eddie and Chris are not here. Though, you probably shouldn’t be either. We are not supposed to speak without our lawyers present.”
“I won’t be long, Buck. And it’s you I want to talk to, anyway. Can I come in?”
He should say no. He should close the door in his goddamn face. But that would probably make things worse, so he steps aside. “Can I offer you a cup of coffee? I just made some.”
“Sure, black please.”
“I know. Eddie is finally allowing himself to enjoy cream and sugar now that he understands he doesn’t have to do every damn thing you beat into him.” It’s a sentence as bitter as the brew Ramon insists on drinking, but he doesn’t really care.
“That’s what I’m here about, actually. I’m here to make a deal.”
Buck leans against the kitchen counter and folds his arms. “What could we possibly have to deal with that shouldn’t go through our lawyers, Ramon?”
“You.”
“Excuse me?”
“I want you to give up my son in exchange for Christopher.”
The world stops spinning. Buck thinks he actually feels it screech to a halt.
“I don’t think I heard you correctly. What EXACTLY do you mean?”
“Walk away, Buck. You know we have it all. All your dirty secrets, and there are so many. But we just found out something that will turn the case for sure. We can have Christopher in our custody tomorrow if we wanted. So you have a choice. Walk away. Leave Eddie. Let him go. Or keep Eddie and you both lose Christopher forever.”
“Whatever you think you have, it’ll never be enough. Christopher is OUR son.”
“Colonel John Hartman sends his regards. He’d like you to know that your cell in SuperMax is still waiting for you, should you step out of line again.”
Buck feels all the blood rush out of his body. “Those charges were never filed. They don’t exist. We saved the world from a deadly virus.”
“From what I understand, you almost kicked off a global pandemic of proportions we have never seen before. You stole a department helicopter, evaded both the FBI and the Army, and got your Captain killed. Doesn’t exactly sound like someone I want my son or grandson with. Would you?”
Checkmate.
“Walk away, Buck. If you do, we’ll drop the custody suit.”
“If I do, will you sign documentation that you will never challenge it again? You’ll leave Eddie and Chris alone?”
“We will walk away too and never bother them again. Chris is turning 18 in three years anyway.”
“That’s the part I don’t understand. He’s 15 now. Why do you need to do this now?”
“A father must protect his family at all costs. Didn’t you tell me that yourself when all this started?”
Ramon has him, and he knows it. Buck nods. “Ok. Call your lawyer now, put him on speaker. I want to know that it’s done before you leave. And I want all of this in writing, sent to me directly. Eddie does NOT know the reason for the dropped suit, understand? It would break him.”
The lawyer is called, the details are worked out. The men do not shake hands before Ramon opens the front door. “You have until tomorrow to leave. Eddie will be notified by his lawyer, and you must be gone by then.”
“I will be. But you swore - he will never know why I left.”
“He won’t find out from us.”
“Good. And Ramon? Fuck you.”
That night he hugs his boys tight, kisses Chris goodnight when he goes to bed. He makes love to Eddie sweeter and slower than they’ve done in a long time. And in the early hours of the morning, he gets up and quietly packs a duffel with enough stuff to stay in a hotel for a few days until he can figure out his next move.
And then he disappears.
-
Present Day
Maddie sits on her brother’s hotel bed, her hand stroking his curls - the only part of him not covered by blankets.
“He called me this morning, he sounds devastated, Evan.”
“I know. I KNOW, Maddie. Do you think I’m not? Do you think I thought this would be EASY? I asked you for the ring YESTERDAY. I’d just gotten home when Ramon showed up.”
“Why can’t you at least talk to Eddie? Tell him what’s going on?”
“Because he’d try to find a way to fight it. And we can’t. They know about the terrorism charges from the lab. They got to Hartman, and he HATES me. It was me or Chris. Losing Chris the last time almost killed Eddie. I can’t let that happen again. This will break his heart. But he will survive it. He’ll move on. But he won’t survive losing Chris to his parents. He’ll never forgive himself if Chris is subjected to their abuse forever.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know yet. I haven’t gotten that far. I need to talk to Chim, see if he can get me a transfer somewhere. Then I’ll probably give you my key and have you pack my stuff, at least the things I can’t live without. I’ve started over before, I can do it again.”
“Can you? Evan, your life was totally different then. You…you didn't have so many strings to cut.”
“And this is the fucking reason why I never did. Fuck. Sorry. I don’t mean you. I always missed you.”
“I know, honey. You’re hurting, I’m not taking offense to any of this. You yell and scream and cry, it’s ok.”
He lifts up then, letting himself curl up into his sister’s arms. “I love him so damn much, Mads. What am I gonna do?”
“I think you should take some time. No one but me knows you’re here. I’ll tell Chim you need some time off. You have more than enough PTO for a break. He won’t ask questions if it comes from me, and I imagine he’ll hear enough from Eddie anyway. I’ll transfer our hotel points to you so you don’t drain your savings - we have a bunch from the conferences Chim’s had to do with his Captainship lately. We’ll figure it out. But don’t make any rash decisions yet. Maybe we’ll find a better solution than you running away, alright?”
“I just need my family to be safe, Maddie, I don’t care about anything else.”
“Ok, honey. You’ve seen to that. Now let me make sure you are safe. They are your family, but you’re mine.”
She kisses the mark on his forehead, then pulls back. “Evan. You need to tell Athena what’s going on.”
“What? Why?”
“Because Eddie’s going to call her for help. And if she doesn’t know why you left…”
“Then she’ll tell him where I am.”
“Yeah.”
“Hand me my phone.”
-
Eddie sleeps for 24 hours. He doesn’t talk to anyone else, his phone never stops buzzing, and he ends up turning it off, giving up on the idea that Buck’s going to call. He knows better.
When he wakes up and checks it, most of the messages are from Hen and Chris, checking on him. He calls Hen first, not sure what to tell his son.
“Eddie! God, I’ve been trying to call you. Are you ok?”
“No. Sorry. Turned my phone off for awhile. Slept.”
“Have you heard from him?”
“No.”
“I’m so sorry, Eddie. What can I do?”
“Thanks for taking Chris. I - I didn’t want him to see me like that. I still don’t know what I’m going to say to him. He was so young when Shannon did this. Now I have to tell him that Buck did the same damn thing.”
“You don’t know why he left, Eddie. Buck wouldn’t leave for no reason.”
“BUT HE STILL LEFT, HEN. No explanation, just a note.”
“Did you talk to Maddie?”
“She won’t tell me anything either.”
Hen sighs. “Yeah, I asked Chim and he had no idea what was going on. Doesn’t sound like Maddie’s told him anything at all. Whatever it is, it’s gotta be big. I don’t feel good about it, honey. Something stinks.”
“I just want him to come home. I want him to know he can come home, whatever it is. I need to know where he is, that he’s ok, that he really is safe.”
“Maybe we should call Athena.”
“I hadn’t gotten that far. She probably should have been my first call.”
“You haven’t exactly been thinking clearly. Listen, do you want Chris to come home, or do you want me to keep him? I can call Athena and have her meet us at your house.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to say to him, but he should hear it from me. He’s been calling me too. What did you tell him?”
“Just that you were having a really hard time with something and you’d tell him when you were ready. And that he had done absolutely nothing wrong.”
“Thanks. He probably hated that - we aren’t supposed to keep secrets between each other anymore.”
“You aren’t, Eddie, you just needed a second, and that’s ok. Let me pack us both up and I’ll see if Athena can come by too. We’ll figure this out, ok?”
-
Hen shows up with Chris, and it's clear he is very worried about his dad - even more so when he sees the state of him.
“Dad? What's going on?”
“Let's. Uh. Let's go sit down in the kitchen. I could use some coffee.” His hands are shaking, but at least he can wrap them around a warm mug.
“Where's Buck?”
He almost drops the coffee pot and Hen rushes over. “Hey. Eddie, I'll do this. Go sit.”
“Chris, buddy…Buck isn't here.”
“Right but where is he? The store? Did he pick up a shift? I'm surprised he left you alone when you're like this."
“No, he…he left. I don't know where he is. I woke up yesterday to a note on my pillow. He's gone, Chris.”
“Like Mom.”
“Yeah, just like Mom.” Fuck. His head falls into his hands.
“Why the heck would he do that? He KNOWS what that did to us! He promised me he'd never leave, no matter what.”
Hen brings over the warm beverages and sits a mug in front of Eddie, then slides into a chair across from Chris. “We don't know, but I suspect something happened, something bad, otherwise he never would have left you. He loved you and your dad more than anything in the world.”
“Clearly not.” Eddie huffs.
“Eddie. Come on.”
“HE LEFT ME, HEN.”
“I know, honey.”
“Is Athena coming?”
She sighs. “No.”
“Why not? Isn't she worried?”
“She's worried, but not the same way we are. He called her, Eddie. She knows where he is.”
“Oh what the fuck?!” He stands, throwing his chair back, paces. “So Maddie knows. Athena knows. Do you?”
“No. She wouldn't tell me. Just that he knew you'd try and find him, and he doesn't want that. He knew you'd ask her to track him down, so he got to her first.”
“Dad. What if he's hurt? I know you're mad, but something's really wrong. Buck would never ever leave like this. You know that. We have to do something.”
“I just don't know what we can do, Chris, if he doesn't want us to.”
“Did you guys fight? Or did anything happen over the last few days?” Hen asks him.
“No. We were stressed about my parents, but everything was normal besides that. We were planning our future, we’d just had a long conversation about marriage and him adopting Chris someday when all of it was over. It was good. Hell, we had some really incredible…” He stops, realizes, and drops back into his chair. “He was saying goodbye. He made love to me in a way we hadn't in awhile. It was beautiful, Hen. He was saying goodbye.”
“He kissed me goodnight and tucked me in like he used to when I was little. I thought it was a little strange.” Chris nods. “But Buck gets sappy sometimes so I let him.”
“That doesn't sound to me like someone leaving in anger.”
“No, it doesn't. But why go at all?”
“I don't know. I'm so sorry, boys. Listen, I need to go, Karen has a meeting this afternoon so I have to go home for the kids. But call me, ok, if you hear anything. “
“Thanks.”
-
Buck spends the entire day trying desperately not to call Eddie. All he wants to do is tell him what is going on. He almost breaks down and texts Chris.
God. Christopher. Letting Eddie go is hard enough, but Chris is being abandoned by yet another parent. And the one thing Buck always promised him was that he would never EVER do this.
Would one message hurt? Just to say goodbye?
How would he even explain it, though? I'm not abandoning you. I'm making sure you get to keep your life. It has to be this way.
Instead, he just pulls the covers back over his head. Thank god hotels have blackout curtains.
-
The next day is shift day. The last thing Eddie wants to do is go to the station without Buck. But sitting at home waiting for him to show up or call isn't doing him any good either and at least at work he can throw himself into other people's problems.
He changes quickly and then knocks on Chim's door.
“Eddie, figured you'd stop here first. I don't know any more than you do.”
“That can't possibly be true, Chim. Your wife knows and she tells you everything.”
“Not this. When he’s Evan, Maddie locks down. And he’s not Buck right now, Eddie."
“What the FUCK does that MEAN?” But he stops pacing and sits. Because oh he knows exactly what it means. “He’s really not ok, is he?”
“Physically, I think he's fine. He's somewhere safe. But no, Eddie, I don't think he is. Look, I dont know what's going on. I don't know why he left. He's not staying with us. Maddie’s holding this very close to her chest. I know he came over for brunch the day before while I was out with the kids. I know he went home early in the afternoon. And I know he was gone when you got up the next morning, and that Maddie told me he'd need to take some leave. Beyond that? I don't know. I'm sorry.”
“I don't know what I'm supposed to do.”
“Give him time. One thing I learned from Maddie is that I couldn't rush her healing. She had to do the work herself.”
His stomach drops. “You think that's what this is? A mental health crisis?”
“He has depressive episodes like she does. Not postnatal obviously, but Bobby's death hit him really hard, and you two have been under enormous stress lately, so it's possible.”
“I just want to know he's ok, Chim. I need him to know I love him and it's ok to come home.”
“I’m sure he knows that, Eddie. But I'll ask Maddie to pass along the message for you.”
“Thanks.”
“Are you sure you should be here?”
“I can't sit at home worrying in an empty house. I need to be busy, around family.”
“I get it. But I'm gonna have my eye on you. I'll put you man-behind if you are too distracted, understand me? You need to stay focused or you become a liability. “
“Heard, Cap.”
He's getting ready to walk out the door, but he stops, turns. “He’s taking leave. He hasn't put in for a transfer or quit. So he's still in town.”
Chim looks at him with sympathy in his eyes. “So far he's just taking an indeterminate amount of leave. Nothing else. I don't know where he is, Eddie. I swear.”
He nods once and closes the door behind him. Buck hasn't left. Not yet.
-
Maddie lets herself into Buck’s room the next morning. The room is pitch black, the curtains drawn tight, the air stale. Her brother is in the exact place she left him two days ago, and he smells like he's hardly moved from that spot.
“Evan James Buckley.”
“What?”
“Get up. Get in the shower. Have you eaten?”
“What’s the point?”
This is not good. “The point is you stink. I'm going to start the water and get it hot, and you're going to get up and come to the bathroom or I'm gonna strip you myself. Your choice.”
“Maddie.”
“Don't Maddie me. Get up, Evan.”
He finally moves, which, thank god because he's far too big for her to drag to the shower like she did when he was a depressed preteen. She does get his shower going for him and then sets the breakfast and coffee out on the table in the corner, ready for him when he's done. The curtains are flung open to let in the sunshine, and she lays out fresh clothes on the bathroom counter.
“Better?” She asks, giving him a smile when he comes back out.
“I’m clean, anyway.”
“That’s a major improvement. Come put something on your stomach. That will help too.”
“I'm not hungry, Mads.”
“I didn't ask if you were. You're gonna eat it anyway.”
He rolls his eyes, flopping down in the chair, petulant, but shoves a bite in his mouth. It doesn’t take long for the whole thing to be gone. “Thanks.”
“Is that the first thing you've eaten since I left?”
He shrugs. "Haven't done much but sleep. If I’m awake I want to call them. He keeps texting me Mads. I can’t…I'm gonna have to block him and I don't want to. And Chris - I didn't even say goodbye to him. I just left. I swore I'd never do that.”
“I know, Evan. Are you still sure this is the right thing?”
“It has to be.”
“Eddie wants you to know he loves you, and that it's ok to come home.”
Buck looks at her alarmed. “Did you tell him?”
“No. He doesn't know anything. But he thinks you're having a mental breakdown, honey. He's so, so scared for you. He all but begged Chim to give him information about what was going on yesterday, and Chim couldn't, because I won't tell my husband anything.”
“Thanks. And I'm sorry. I know you don't like keeping things from him.”
“No. I very much don't." She sighs. “But I know why this is necessary. At least for now. He's gonna find out eventually.”
“No. He won't. He has no reason to. He'll move on eventually. He has Chris. That's all that matters.”
“Evan, you know that's the farthest thing from the truth."
He shakes his head, and Maddie doesn't know if he really doesn't believe it or if he can't allow himself to. Believing that it's not true would mean that this deal he made with Ramon only caused more harm, and Buck’s always been so much better at self-sacrifice than seeing his own worth.
“Why don't you come with me to get Jee and Nash from the Lee's? We’ll take them to the park. You could use a little fresh air. And the maids can turn over your room, get you some fresh sheets.”
“I dunno, Mads. Maybe I should just stay here.”
“I’m not really asking, Evan.”
-
Someone's kid falls off the play equipment at a park, so they get called out to check for injuries.
He's checking over the hurt child when Hen gasps and grabs his arm. “Eddie.”
“What? What's wrong?”
“10 o'clock.”
He looks up and sees a set of broad shoulders disappearing fast over a hill, Maddie frozen, unable to leave because clearly Jee-Yun just spotted her father from across the park.
“Hen.”
“Go, I've got Freddie here.”
He sprints. “Buck!”
The man turns. God, he looks WRECKED. “Eddie I CAN’T. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”
“Just tell me why.”
“It's better this way.”
“It's NOT. There's nothing that's worth more than us.”
“Yes. There is.” His voice breaks. “I have to go Eddie. Don't do this again. And…stop calling me. Please. Don’t make me block you.” He turns back around and walks away.
Eddie falls to the ground and weeps until Hen finds him to tell him it's time to go.
-
Buck gets an Uber back to the hotel. He doesn't wait for Maddie. If he wasn’t already broken, he sure as fuck is now. Eddie has those big dark circles under his eyes, the ones he only gets when he's absolutely destroyed - the ones he had before his mental breakdown, and when Chris was gone. This time - Buck did that. He hurt him so badly, and he still wants him to come back.
There's nothing that's worth more than us.
If he only knew.
They're gonna need you.
This is what Eddie and Chris need him to do. He can give them this. Eventually, they will stop searching.
-
Eddie's furious. He's always processed grief in anger first. He can't do it any other way. And yesterday, after he got back to the station after the park, two things played on repeat: one was the broken look on Buck's face when he turned around. The other was the terrified one on Maddie's. She knows he's not ok, and she's scared.
So when the shift is over, he goes straight there. He even beats Chim home. She's clearly surprised to have to answer a knock at the door, expecting her husband to walk in any second.
“Eddie? Guess I should have known you'd come here after that.” She sighs. “Come in then. I was making a pot of coffee for Howie anyway. Had he left the station yet?”
“No idea. Didn't really pay attention.”
“Yeah, figures. Eddie, I can’t…”
“You CAN Maddie. And I know you're just as scared for him as I am - I saw it in your face. I can't help him if I don't know what's going on.”
“Eddie, I don't know if you can. He's doing it FOR you.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. Why would leaving be for me?”
She opens a drawer and puts a box on the table and slides it across the counter. He opens it - it's a gold ring, a sapphire fitted into it. He remembers a conversation they had years ago, about Abuelo’s ring and a ring Maddie had of his grandfather's.
“Your grandfather's ring?”
“Yeah.”
“Is this supposed to mean something?”
“You knew we had brunch that morning? The day before.”
“Sure. Said you two had something to talk about. After he left, I thought he told you why he was going.”
She shakes her head. “No, Eddie. He came over with champagne for a toast and asked me for the ring. HIS ring. I'd only been holding onto it, he said you didn't know that part.”
“He wanted his grandfather’s ring?” That makes NO sense. “But why? If he was going to leave?”
“He wasn't. He was going to propose. He said he loved you and Chris so much that he'd do anything for you. He wanted to marry you. Make a family. Adopt Chris. Eddie, he said he would lay his life down for the two of you - whatever it took to keep the family together.”
“Ok?”
“When EXACTLY did your parents drop the custody suit?”
That day. The lawyer called that day. “No.” He sits down, the ring still in his hands, his voice cracking. “Maddie, no.”
“Honey, your father showed up on your doorstep and threatened him. Let you go or you'd never see Chris again.”
He throws the mug across the kitchen before he even knows he's doing it. “Oh god, Maddie. I'm so sorry. Fuck. I'm SO sorry.” He knows that's a trigger for her, and she's backed all the way against the cabinet. “Let me get a broom. Don't move, you're in bare feet.”
Chim comes home right then and sees his wife shaking and Eddie cleaning up the ceramic. “What the fuck did you do to my wife, Diaz?”
“Don't, Howie. It wasn't his fault.”
“It was. Don't let me off the hook so easily, I never should have reacted that way. Just…let me clean this up and I'll go.”
“You threw a mug, Eddie. You didn't hurt me.” She takes a deep breath. “I told him what happened with Buck, babe. It was just a lot. I'm ok.”
Eddie finishes cleaning up and turns back to Maddie but stays on the other side of the kitchen, making sure to keep his hands in plain view for her. “What did my dad say? He had to have had something big enough to threaten him with?”
“The lab. He'd talked to the Colonel in charge of the operation - apparently he still holds a grudge from the way everything went down. Said that someone with even the threat of domestic terrorism against them has no business raising a child. Apparently used some of his own words against him. Something about a father doing anything to protect his family.”
Fuck. He remembers that conversation, when Buck told Ramon he’d always protect Eddie and Chris. “Yeah, that would do it. He really stuck the knife in and twisted it.”
“But Buck wasn't charged with anything. It's not on record anywhere, they weren't actually arrested.” Chim points out, confused.
“I know that, but my parents have bribed the judge. And possibly this Colonel from the sound of it.”
“Why do they even care at this point? Chris is almost an adult.”
“Because it's their way of controlling me. They are both narcissists and I don't fit the narrative. I never have. And they don't see Chris as an adult. They infantillize him. He could be 40 and they will still treat him as if he's 4. If they ever did get full custody, I've always been afraid of what that would mean for him, his independence, his rights, his future.”
Maddie's voice hitches. “That's more dangerous than I thought it was.”
“There’s a reason I put Buck in my will so early. I knew he'd raise Chris the way I wanted, and would stand up to them if I wasn't here to do it. But now at least I somewhat understand why he felt like he had to leave.”
“He thinks he's keeping his family safe, Eddie."
“He IS the family, Maddie. Our family is nothing without him. I have to find a way to fight this.”
“My understanding is that your parents signed paperwork, a deal. Something stating they would drop the suit, IF Buck left for good. If he comes back, it invalidates it.”
“Did he talk to our lawyer about it?”
“That I don't know.”
“Mansfield didn't mention that part to me. He said he didn't know what caused them to drop it. I'm going to call him. Chim, mind if I use your office?”
“Go for it.”
-
Eddie walks into the other room, and Chim wraps Maddie up into his arms. “Are you ok?”
“It scared me, but yeah, I'm fine. He was angry at his father, not at me. I can't blame him.”
“Fill me in?” She catches him up.
“Jesus, Buck. Eddie and I thought maybe he was having a depressive episode. I told him to give Buck space.”
“You thought he'd done what I did. “
“I was going off that assumption, yeah. After Bobby, and then everything they are going through? It seemed like the most reasonable possibility.”
“He’s definitely depressed. He's hardly left the hotel bed. He hadn't showered or eaten in two days when I got there yesterday. It took a lot to get him to that park in the first place. I'm so worried about him, Howie.”
“Where is he?”
“You know why I can't tell you that."
“You really think it's helping him to keep Eddie away?”
“No. I don't. But it won't help either of them if they lose Chris."
“What was the plan?”
“I was hoping Buck would call the lawyer and figure shit out! Instead he's crawled so deep inside himself I almost had to drag him into the shower, and he's twice my size. Then we ran into you at the call, and I couldn't keep it from Eddie anymore.”
“Baby, do you think he's gonna hurt himself?”
“I think he's just burying himself. Which isn't much better, really. He hurts himself in different ways than I do.”
“He isolates.”
“Yeah. I convinced him to stay in town for now, but he'll leave eventually, if there's no resolution for this. He wants to ask you for a transfer.”
“Fuck no.”
“Howie. If he can't be with Eddie and Chris, what good is it to force him to work with him every day?”
“It’s his house as much as mine, Maddie. He can't leave.”
“i don’t want him to go either, but he may have to.”
-
“So you didn't know about that part of the statement?”
“No, Mr. Diaz, it was not made known to me. If that's true, then we can make a case for coercion. Not to mention, charges were never filed in the lab accident, and Mr. Buckley was doing everything he could as a first responder to save his team. Above and beyond the normal call of duty, maybe. But he did surrender. He was never in possession of the vial, from my understanding. In fact, he and firefighter Kinnard returned a valuable escaped asset to the FBI.”
“So you think there's a chance?”
“I think your parents are, once again, grasping and manipulating the law in ways that should not work in their favor.”
“Yes, well, unlike them I can't afford to pay for that favor to turn my way.”
“No. But that issue may be resolved soon too.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let's just say that a certain judge is about to have a very unpleasant visit from a specialized department of the FBI because of materials that a clerk saw on his computer.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Their lawyer isn't the only one with spies, Mr. Diaz. They might have threatened Mr. Buckley, but they were going to have to drop the suit anyway once we uncovered that information.”
“So Buck can come home.”
“I'd recommend he stay somewhere else for the time being. I know that's hard to hear, but this will take time to sort out. If he has any information on the deal that was made - paperwork, recordings, I need it. If you have a doorbell camera that shows your father showing up, send it to me. Anything.”
“We do. Didn't even think to check it - I hate the damn thing. I'll send you the footage, and I'll try to get Buck to send you everything else.“
“If nothing else, have him call me and I can do the talking. But don't give up. We can fight this.”
“That's encouraging, Mr. Mansfield. Thank you.”
-
Firehose and Eight-Pack
EP: Maddie told me. Don't be mad at her, I cornered her, and she's really worried about you. She still hasn't told me where you are.
EP: We are gonna fight this, baby. I need you to call the lawyer and talk to him. And send him any docs you have from my dad.
EP: You're not alone, buck. I know why you're doing this, but you can't save your family if you aren't here to be a part of it. That's not how it works. Chris and I need you too much. We don't survive if you aren't here.
EP: call the lawyer so you can come home.
EP: I want that ring on my finger. I'm so tempted to wear it now, but I'll wait until the day you get back and can ask me properly.
FH: no. They dropped the suit. Do NOT risk your son. I am not worth it. Chris is EVERYTHING. Choose your son, Eddie. I should always lose that battle. There is no choice.
-
Buck's heart breaks even further when he reads Eddie's texts. This is why he didn't want him to know. He didn't want him to try and fight and then it get even worse. They dropped the suit. It was over. And now he's gonna open it back up?
That's so unbelievably stupid.
-
“Maddie.” Eddie returns to the kitchen. “I need your help.”
“What can I do?”
“I need you to get into Buck's phone next time you're there, and send me anything you can find that has to do with the lawsuit. Especially around the time he left. My lawyer needs documentation. He thinks we have a case for coercion.”
“But you can't ask Buck directly.”
“Tried.” He slides the phone across the island.”
“Oh Evan. Fall on the sword a few more times.”
If you're gonna make this about me having to choose between you and my son. You're gonna lose every time.
“He really hangs on to every single word someone says to him. He never forgets.”
“What do you mean?”
“A thing I said to him once when we fought before I left for Texas. I told him I'd always choose Chris over him. I was projecting. I was fighting my own demons in my head, and I blamed him because it was easier than admitting I was in love with him and didn't want to leave. That's what that means, there at the end.”
“He's telling you it's ok to give him up for Chris.”
“Yeah.” This is probably a horrible idea, but he has to do it. “Maddie, I need to see him. Even just for a little bit. The lawyer said it's best for him to not come home yet. But I've gotta see him. He needs to know I can choose them both. Because he's right, there is no choice. But that choice isn't BETWEEN them. It's them. Together.”
“Hand me my purse. It's behind you on the table.” He passes it to her and she pulls a keycard out of her wallet. “Room 302. Eddie, you're not gonna like what you see when you get there.”
“I saw him yesterday, I already know what I'm gonna find.”
“Take something to eat. He probably hasn't had anything since then. Oh.” She runs into the laundry room to grab a tote bag. “I washed these for him.”
“Thanks. I'm gonna swing by our place and get him some more stuff too, since it sounds like he's gonna be there for a minute.”
“He can stay here, if he wants to, instead of the hotel. He was only staying there so you didn't know where he was. He knew you'd come here. And, “ she gives a sympathetic look at her husband. “Howie would crack in two seconds.”
“You're not wrong, babe. I hate that you've been carrying this alone but I wouldn't have been able to keep it from Eddie either.”
“Thank you both. I'll touch base later.”
-
He hears the keycard in the door and he groans. “Mads, if you're gonna yell at me again, I'm really not in the mood. I'm pretty pissed at you right now.”
“Thought I told you not to be mad at your sister.”
He sits up, turns the lamp on. “Eddie? What the fuck are you doing here? Thought you didn't know where I was?”
“Things change. God, she warned me.” Eddie sits down on the bed next to him. “Baby, what are you doing to yourself?”
“Nothing. I'm doing nothing. I'm just getting out of the way”
“You’re punishing yourself when you've done absolutely nothing wrong.”
“I left. I told you both I'd never leave like that, and I did it anyway.”
“It doesn't sound like my father gave you any choice. He's good at that. Taking away free will. But you could have told me. We are always stronger together.”
Buck shakes his head. “No. They were gonna take him that day. I had to be out by morning, or he was coming to get Chris. I'm pretty sure he’s watching the house. There was a car I didn't recognize parked down the street.”
“They couldn't have just taken him, baby. That's not legal.”
“He had some kind of document from the judge. Looked pretty official. I wasn't gonna chance it."
“Ok. So here's what's gonna happen next. Where's your phone?”
Buck takes it off the nightstand and unlocks it, hands it to Eddie.
“Thanks. We're gonna pull everything off of here related to the court case and send it to Mansfield’s office. Did they give you the documents they signed? Or that paperwork he had from the judge?”
“Yeah, I made him call his lawyer in front of me and I recorded it, and I made them email me the proof. And I took a picture of that document he showed me. It's pretty fuzzy though because I didn't want him to know I was doing it.”
“Ok. Send all of that to the lawyer and copy me so I have it too. Then, we are gonna pack your stuff here. You can't come home. Not yet. But you're going to go stay with Maddie for a while. I don't want you locked in this room alone for weeks or months. It's not healthy.”
“You’re being awful bossy.”
Eddie brushes his fingers through his tangled hair. “Baby, you're not taking care of yourself. Have you eaten since Maddie was here yesterday morning?”
He doesn't need to answer. Eddie can see it on his face. "I didn't think so. I brought sandwiches. So let's eat, and then we are gonna shower, and take a nap. Then I'll take you to your sister’s.”
“I have my truck.”
“Well you can follow me then. But I'm gonna make sure you get there safely.” Eddie gets up and takes his hand to lead him to the table to eat. He brought his favorite from a nearby sub shop.
“Why aren't you more mad?”
“Oh I'm so pissed that I threw a mug at the kitchen cabinet and scared the absolute shit out of your sister. I felt TERRIBLE, and Chim walked in and cussed me out. But I'm mad at my father, baby, not at you. I was, that first morning. I’m mad, devastated, and heartbroken. But mostly I've just been really scared and worried because this was so unlike you. It made no sense.”
“I am really sorry I hurt you, for what it's worth. I didn't want to do it.”
Eddie reaches out and takes his hand. “I know you didn't. I know that now. “
“Can you tell Chris I'm sorry? I didn't know how to explain it to him in a note. I must have started 50 different text messages and none of them seemed like enough.”
“You can tell him yourself. He'll be at Maddie’s later.”
“Does he hate me?”
“Oh baby, he's been even more worried than me, if that's possible. He just wants you to be ok and back home.”
-
Eddie is being so calm and so rational, and Buck doesn’t know what to do with it. He walked out on him, left him a note and broke his heart just like his ex wife did - something he said he’d never ever do, and here he sits, watching him eat his favorite sandwich, holding his hand and talking to him in a sweet, loving voice. Buck’s supposed to be the one protecting him and instead it’s the other way around.
It makes no sense.
They finish lunch and Eddie tosses the trash and gets him up, leads him to the bathroom and leans in to turn on the water, before removing his own clothes. He’s always been the most beautiful man Buck’s ever seen, and somehow he chooses to be here with him.
“Let me help you, baby.” He’s so gentle, taking off Buck’s tshirt and sweatpants. “I brought you some clean ones to change into after this. Maddie washed them for you. And I stopped by the house and picked up more of your things - the bag is in my truck. Once we know how long this is going to take, Maddie and I will make a plan to sort out what you really need and I’ll pack a suitcase for you. But first, we’ll take care of the simple things.”
He takes his hand and pulls him into the steaming water, wetting his hair and pouring shampoo into his palm. “Lean back against me.”
It makes him cry, how soft Eddie is being, how good it feels to have his scalp massaged, and once the soap is rinsed out and he replaces it with conditioner, Buck turns and leans against his chest. “Why are you doing this? I don’t deserve you at all.”
“Buck, you did what you thought you had to do to keep us safe. I hate that you had to do it. I hate how you did it. But I told you once that there’s no one in the world I trusted more with my son than you - and this is exactly why. This is why you are in my will as his guardian. This is why I love you so much. Because as infuriating as it is that you see yourself as expendable, you really will do anything you possibly can to make sure Chris and I are safe.”
“I couldn’t let you lose him again. It almost broke you last time.”
“Baby, did you think it wouldn’t break me to lose you?”
“Not like it would if Chris were really gone.”
“The only way I got through any of that summer was because I had you. I only said that idiotic thing about choice because I was mad at myself. You weren’t making me choose. I was making a choice, and I felt like no matter which way I went, I was making the wrong one. You weren’t making it about you - I was. I cannot survive this life without you in it. Please do not make me do it.” Eddie snatches Buck’s head off his shoulder and brings their mouths together, kissing him like he really does need him to live, turning him against the tiled wall.
“Fuck, Eddie.” He whines, his hips launching forward of their own accord, reaching towards that wet, hard, heat between them, and his boyfriend removes the space completely.
“You are mine, Buck. And no one else gets to decide that you aren’t.” He reaches between them and takes their cocks in his huge hand, claiming them together. After too many days of being apart, the connection is overwhelming, and their kisses turn into moans quickly, and it isn’t long before they shatter apart over Eddie’s fist.
Eddie drops his head to Buck’s shoulder. “When I came over here to take care of you, that hadn’t been on the list. But fuck, I missed you.” He tugs Buck under the water to rinse out the conditioner that’s probably been in his hair far too long, then grabs the soap to actually get him clean.
“I did too. I can’t stop thinking about that last night. I broke my damn heart, Eddie. But I just needed one more time. Something I could take with me.”
“If you think you could make love to me like that and think I’d ever let you go, you’re out of your fucking mind.”
“I needed you to know how much I loved you - I needed you to believe it.” He can’t stop the sob that comes. “I thought about hurting you somehow. Make you really hate me. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to leave you thinking I left because I didn’t care - even if you never knew why.”
Eddie leans over and turns off the water, and dries them both off. “I think that’s what made me worry so much. We’d just talked about the future, it didn’t make any sense for you to leave. With Shannon, we’d fought the whole time I was home. I hated that she left, but I wasn’t exactly surprised. You leaving made me physically ill - something just felt so terribly wrong.”
They curl up under the covers together, Eddie pulling him close. “I don’t know what will happen next, baby. But this isn’t over. I have to believe that. We’re gonna fight them.”
“I didn’t want to risk losing him.”
“I know. But I can’t risk losing you, either.”
-
Eddie doesn’t sleep, he just lays there holding Buck in his arms, allowing the tears to fall down his cheeks and into the curls tucked under his chin. This man spent his whole life desperate for a family to love him, and now that he has one, he gave it up in order to protect them. The enormity of Buck’s love has always amazed him, but sometimes Eddie can’t breathe under the weight of it. How could anyone be near this man and walk away? Yet so many people did - his parents, Abby, Ali, Taylor, Tommy. He cannot understand, will never understand not wanting to travel in Evan Buckley’s orbit.
That’s something his parents could never comprehend. To think that if he just simply disappeared, that what - Eddie would go back to being straight? He’d put it all back in a box tied with neat string and would stop being a terrible scandal that gets talked about in church on Sunday?
Never gonna happen. That box was set on fire the moment he walked into the 118. This man - his best friend, his partner, his soulmate - he can’t turn his back on him, he can’t separate himself from him. Not ever.
Buck stirs, shifting across Eddie’s chest, and Eddie runs his fingers down his back, those broad, firm muscles. “Mmmm, more of that, please.”
Eddie laughs softly, screeching his back again. “Sure, Baby. Did you get some real sleep?”
“I’ve been sleeping for days.”
“And you were still tired - I know what that kind of sleep is like. You needed to actually rest.”
“Always better when you’re here.”
“I know. Our bed is far too lonely without you in it. We’ll get you home, baby.”
Buck kisses the join where his neck meets his shoulder. “You feel so good. Don’t wanna let you leave.”
“We have a little more time. Maddie’s picking Chris up from school for me. There’s no hurry to get back there. You can sleep more if you want to. I’m not going anywhere yet.”
Buck shakes his head, then shifts more on top of him. “I don’t wanna sleep, Eds.” He presses his hips down, grinding lazily against him, his big cock full and heavy between them.
“Mmmm, yeah, me either.” He tilts his head back and presses a kiss to his lips. “Do we have lube here baby? I don’t know what you packed. I didn’t think to grab any. This wasn’t exactly my priority today.”
“Already had some in my bag, hang on.” Buck gets off of him and returns quickly, laying back down. “Where were we?”
Eddie rolls him over, grinning as he kisses the corner of his mouth, and then the other. “Oh, about here.” Buck lifts his chin as he works his way down, nipping and sucking in all the sensitive spots that make him whine, his fingers beginning to work him open.
“Eddie, please.” He starts to writhe beneath him, impatient for what comes next.
“Mmmm, baby, you’re awfully desperate, you think you’re ready?” He asks, teasing Buck’s prostate, before he slides his hand out, and his boyfriend chases him down, whining at the lost pressure. He gets himself ready and lines up, but doesn’t go yet, just sits there, the head of his cock resting right at the entrance. It’s torture for both of them, but he’ll wait until Buck asks.
“God, Eddie, I need you, please. PLEASE.” There it is. He thrusts forward slowly, both of them gasping as he slides himself home.
And it does feel that way - as if he’s coming home. Because that’s what Buck is, his home. Until they met, he was groundless, just a spark bouncing around, dangerous. But this man came into his life and grounded him, connected him to the earth in such a way that he didn’t have to be scared or alone anymore.
“Eds?”
“Mmmm?”
“Don’t be soft, ok? Want you. Now.” Buck reaches up and grabs his face, kisses him hard, bites his bottom lip, sucks it, shows him he means business. And oh fuck, does he mean it.
If he wants to be ridden, then Eddie’s gonna ride him. “Lift up, turn around, baby. Put your hands on the headboard.”
“God yes.” He flips over, rises up and leans into a bent position. Eddie arches over him, his hand on his hips pulling him back flush against his hips. “Hang on, Buck.”
After that, he positively pounds into him, There’s no gentleness, no caressing or making love. He runs his hand down his spine to get him to arch a little more, and holds him there, his cock running over his prostate again and again and again until he’s shaking with it, reaching around and stroking his dripping cock. At some point, he tugs him up until he’s flush with his chest, capturing his throat in his hand
“Come for me baby. Fuck…Gonna fill you up. Let me see you come.”
“Fuck, Eds. Fuuuck, please don’t stop, Gonna…oh fuck.”
“That’s it, baby. Give it to me. You’re mine. You’re mine and you belong right here with me.”
That sends him over the edge, Buck moans, sending hot white streaks across the bed, and his clenching drags Eddie’s orgasm out of him too, his legs giving out and they both topple over, laughing.
“Jesus. You ok?” Buck asks after his elbow lands in Eddie’s ribs.
“It was my own fault. I was holding you up. Give me a minute and I’ll find something to clean us up with. Can’t move yet.”
“Stay there. Our towels are on the floor. I can reach.” Buck leans over and nearly falls out of the damn bed, but manages to snag a damp towel to wipe up the mess.
After he drops it back on the floor, he stops, his shoulders drooping. “So Maddie showed you the ring?”
Eddie sits up and curls around him, kissing his shoulder. “Yeah. It's beautiful, baby. You were gonna propose?”
“Mmhmm. At Athena's BBQ Saturday night. I'm sorry.”
“There will be other parties. Or you can just propose to me now.”
Buck turns around slowly. “Eddie. We don't even know if we can be together.”
“We will be together, Buck. Whether it's now or in three years when our son turns 18. We will be together. But this is forever. You and me. And if you won't propose, I will.” He leans down to the end of the bed where he’d tossed the tote bag he brought, fingering an old leather box. “Come back over here, baby.”
Buck moves slowly, clearly hesitant, but he rejoins Eddie, leaning back against his chest where he’s propped on the headboard. Eddie curls his arms around him, matches him cheek to cheek before opening the box.
“This was my Abuelo’s ring, he and Abuela couldn’t afford much, but he had this piece of turquoise that his father had given him, and he had it divided into two stones, Abuela’s has the other half. I always just held onto it for sentimental value, obviously my wife would never wear a man’s ring, and for some reason I didn’t want to wear it when I married Shannon - it didn’t feel like mine. Now I know why. This ring wasn’t meant for me. It was meant for you. Buck, you’ve been my best friend for most of the time we’ve known each other - we’ve seen just about every bad thing we possibly could, but way more good. This is just one more trial we are facing. But I have faith that in the end, our love is stronger than them. It took a long time for me to be able to see it - what you are to me, who I am with you - but now that I do, I’ll never be able to look away. It doesn’t matter to me anymore what my dad thinks, what my mom thinks. Is it risky? Sure. Am I scared? Fuck yes. But Chris and I need you - so we fight. We fight for each other, the way we ALWAYS do. Ok?”
Buck nods, tears streaking not only his, but Eddie’s.
“It may not be tomorrow, it may not be this year, but will you marry me? Please?”
“It’s all I really want, Eddie. I didn’t want this.”
“I know, baby. I know.” He kisses his wet cheek, and slides the ring on his finger. It’s a perfect fit, just like them.
-
When they pull up to the Han’s house, there are a number of cars out front. Eddie comes to his door and Buck looks at him questioningly.
“We are having a strategy meeting. Plus, I’m not the only one who has been worried. I think everyone needs proof of life.”
It kicks in for Buck that he didn’t just hurt Eddie and Chris. He stops Eddie from tugging him out of the truck. “Wait.”
“Hey.” His newly branded fiance turns back to him and puts a hand on his chest. “No one is mad at you, baby. We just want to talk about how to keep our family safe while we figure stuff out with the court, ok? And we want to make sure that YOU are doing ok. Because we know you haven’t been. Is this too overwhelming? We can drive around the block and tell Maddie it’s too much.”
“No. I just didn’t really think about how it would affect everyone else too.”
“They are our family, baby. When one of us is hurting, we all hurt. It’s how it works - we lash the boats together and weather the storm. We did the same thing for Hen and Karen when they were going through the adoption battle for Mara - right?”
He nods. “You’re right. Ok. Let’s go.”
“If you get overwhelmed, just tell me, and we’ll go upstairs. No one is going to mind. Use our colors or taps and I’ll follow your lead. That’s why we have them. Where are you at now?”
“Not quite green, but not yellow either.”
“You wanna sit here a little longer?”
“No. No, I wanna be back with our people. I think it’ll help.”
“I think so too. Plus I’m pretty sure Athena was getting food from Michelangelo’s.” Eddie winks at him. “You can’t miss out on that.” He kisses Buck’s forehead. “Come on. Let’s go show off that ring to everyone, let them be happy for us for a little while.”
Buck doesn’t get out of the car though. “Wait…again. Sorry.”
“What’s the matter?”
“What if your dad is having her house watched?”
Eddie looks over his shoulder. “See the brown van there?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s surveillance. And they swept the street. I texted Athena when you told me that earlier. They are keeping an eye out. I let Mansfield’s office know too. He responded and said that would only add to our case, because you don’t feel safe to visit your sister, which wasn’t part of the agreement.”
“Ok.” He takes Eddie’s hand and allows himself to be led inside.
“Knock Knock!” His fiance calls out when they enter. “I come bearing a very special gift.”
“Buck!” The clack of crutches speeds over the wood floor as Christopher bounds over. “I missed you.”
He sobs as his son hits him full in the chest, sticking his nose in those curls and breathing in. “God I missed you too. I am SO sorry, Chris. I never wanted to do this.”
“I knew something was wrong - I told Dad you promised you would never ever leave like Mom did. I knew you wouldn’t unless you absolutely had to.”
He shakes his head. “No. It killed me to do it. Made me sick. I would never EVER want to leave you, not really.”
“I know. But you owe me at least one trip to the Observatory.”
He laughs. “As if I’d ever say no to that, even if I wasn’t trying to bribe you to forgive me.”
Chris rolls his eyes. “Like you’d need to bribe me to do that. I just wanna go.” He lets go and wanders off toward the food, and they finally make it into the family room, Maddie handing him a glass of wine.
“Hey Evan. You good?”
“Shaky. Overwhelmed. Thanks for telling him. I was mad at you for a minute, but…” He trails off, watching Eddie pick up Jee-Yun, who is chattering his ear off. “I missed him so much.”
“I know, honey. We’re gonna figure this out. But first, let’s get some food in you.”
All the other adults are mingling in the kitchen, and Athena hugs him tight. “Hey baby boy. You look pale. But I’m so glad you’re here.”
“I’ll be ok, better now that I’m out of that room.” She lets go and he reaches for a spoon to dip into the pasta and Karen shrieks.
“Eddie Diaz, get your perfect round butt in here right now!” She grabs Buck’s hand and holds it up. “WHAT IS THIS?!”
“Well, that didn’t take long.” Eddie laughs, Jee still on his hip. He puts her down and she toddles off, away from the shrieking adults. “I may have proposed this afternoon.” He shrugs. “Had to beat this guy to the punch, since his got busted.”
“He was gonna propose too?” Hen asks.
Buck ducks his head sadly. “At Athena’s party. Messed that up.”
Eddie lifts his chin back up. “You are not the one who messed it up. Let’s eat, and then we can all sit down and get on the same page.”
-
Eddie goes through the whole story - Buck filling in details where he needs to - and the tension in the room is palpable as the anger rises.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Karen looks like she wants to throw her glass across the room like Eddie did. “So you came home with the ring and not even 20 minutes later, Ramon shows up and threatens you?”
“Yeah. Didn’t even have a chance to hide it, the box was sitting on the credenza with my keys. It’s a miracle he didn’t see it. I ended up just giving it back to Maddie so it didn’t get lost at the hotel.”
“I can’t believe they got to Hartman. I mean, I can. But their lawyer is REALLY digging for dirt.” Athena has her Sergeant Grant guard up.
“According to our lawyer, they are grasping at straws because the judge they bribed is in legal trouble of his own.”
“What?” Buck’s head swings towards Eddie. “What kind of legal trouble?”
“We didn’t get that far today.” Eddie fills everyone in. “So we can possibly pursue them on coercion charges, but either way, the suit is most likely dead. The quack evidence they have won’t stand in a court with a fair judge, and they’ve already spent a fortune bribing one crooked judge. My parents are wealthy, but not infinitely. Buck has to fly under the radar for a little while, just to be on the safe side until we know for sure.”
“We are going to keep police surveillance on this house at least, since you’re worried he’s being tracked. It will be a little harder to do if you go back to work, Buck, but I don’t think you should let that stop you.” Athena tells him. “Just because they didn’t want you to be in a relationship with Eddie, doesn’t mean you have to give up your job at the station.”
“Oh, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what Ramon wanted. But I have plenty of furlough time - right Chim? I hate it, but if it protects Chris, then I can take a month off if I need to.”
“You have the time. And if it’s longer, we can switch you to another shift, or swap you to the 133 for a while - I can work with Mehta.”
“Until then, can you two just not see each other?”
Eddie nods stiffly. “Today was a risk already.”
“Well, let’s see if we can gather as much evidence as possible then. I’ll do some knock and talks tomorrow, see if I can get your neighbors’ doorbell cameras from this week and find out if there have been any strange vehicles around. If there are people watching your house, we need to know. I also did some research, after the lab, and have a few references about Colonel John Hartman and his so-called reputation. He doesn’t have a lot of friends in the Army, and won’t be hard to discredit.” Athena says. “I’ll send you any information I get.” She takes Buck’s hand. “We’ve got this, Buckaroo.”
“And if you two need a neutral meeting ground, you can come to ours.” Hen says. “Our back alley is pretty hidden, and we can disappear for a few hours.” She winks at Eddie.
He laughs. “That’s very generous. If we can make sure we don’t have tails, then maybe. Athena, can you have our cars swept for trackers? I am a little concerned about that.”
She nods to the door. “Being done as we speak.”
Buck puts his head between his knees. “God this is so much.”
“Color, baby.”
“Yellow.”
“Need a break?”
“Yeah.”
“Go take your bags upstairs. I’ll refill your wine and be right up.”
-
“How’s he really doing?” Athena follows him into the kitchen.
“Not great. My father really did a number on him. He’s not a big man, but he can be terrifying, and he knew exactly what buttons to push to get to Buck.” He shakes his head, putting the wine bottle down. “He didn’t hesitate, Athena. He didn’t question it, he didn’t try to fight it. He just knew Chris was at risk and gave up his happiness for us.”
“That’s Buck. He’s always given himself for those he loves. Especially you. He’ll do it over and over and over again.”
“I know. I just wish he would have talked to me.”
“He knew you would have fought him, and he weighed the cost, Eddie.”
“The cost is high, but he’s worth everything. Chris needs him as much as I do.” He picks up the glasses. “I need to go make sure he’s ok.”
“Go. We’ll start shutting this party down so you two can have some quiet.”
“Thanks for everything you’re doing.”
“He’s my son, Eddie, just like Chris is his. And I’ll protect him any way I can.”
Eddie mounts the stairs and finds Buck sitting on the bed staring at the wall, so he hands him a glass of wine before sitting next to him, pressing their thighs together. “Everyone down there loves us. They want our family to be safe.”
“I know. Just wish they didn’t have to. Surveillance, tracking devices, dirty judges. It sounds like something out of a terrible police procedural.”
“You love terrible police procedurals.”
“Doesn’t mean I want to live in one. I already live in a wee-woo drama.”
“A what?”
“That’s what May calls Hot-Shots. Her guilty pleasure Wee-Woo Drama. Wee-Woo. Because of the sirens.”
Eddie laughs. “Bobby would secretly love that.”
“Probably. Wonder what he would make of all this.”
“He’d already be in Texas ready to kick my father’s ass. My dad’s got nothing on yours when Bobby’s pissed.”
“I think that’s why I gave in so fast, you know? Ramon sounded more like Phillip that day. Manipulative. He just…he got to me.”
“He was trying to. It’s ok that it worked. There’s nothing wrong with you that it did.”
“Maybe I should have stayed, should have fought. I wouldn’t have hurt you so badly.”
“And we could have lost Chris. You didn’t make a bad decision, Buck. You made a hard one, an impossible one, but it wasn’t the wrong one. My father realized he couldn’t abuse me anymore, so he turned it on you. And for that, baby, I am so incredibly sorry. You didn’t need one more person in your life to treat you that way.”
Buck lays his head down on Eddie’s shoulder. “Do you think it’ll ever get easier? Can we just have a little happiness without something coming along and tearing it down?”
“Mmm…life hasn’t been kind to us. But, that’s what made this so strong.” Eddie takes his hand. “It makes the good times so much better because we’ve had to fight so hard.”
“I’d just like a little more good, that’s all.”
“I’ve got something for you. Or, for me actually.” He pulls a box out of his pocket. “Snagged this from Maddie earlier.”
“The ring?”
“Yeah. Told you I wanted to wear it. But you have to want to give it to me.”
Buck taps the box with his finger, then opens it and takes out the ring. “I had a whole speech planned, but none of it seems fitting now. I just don’t ever want to be apart from you, not ever again. Not like this. Will you marry me, Eddie?”
“Of course I will. I love you, Evan.”
This ring is a perfect fit too. They lay their hands over top of each other, the rings shining together, symbols of their partnership.
-
They make their way down eventually, after everyone leaves and calm has resumed over the house.
“We should go. I hate to leave, but Chris does have school tomorrow, and he’ll be a bear to wake up.”
“Text me when you get back?”
“I’ll facetime you once I get him settled. We can’t be in the same house, that doesn’t mean we can’t talk.” Eddie leans his forehead against Buck’s. “Texas rules, ok? We talk every day, no matter what, at least once. Send me all the stupid videos you want, text me all your thoughts and facts and everything you are learning. I want to hear it all. Nothing is trivial.”
“Texas rules.”
“Yep. I’ll call you about myself and Christopher, and tell you about the calls I’ve gotten into at work. You won’t miss anything that’s happening. We’ll debrief at the end of the day, every day.” Eddie hollers. “Chris, come say goodbye to your Buck, we gotta get going.”
Buck turns around to give his kid a hug. “I’ll see you as soon as I can buddy, ok? Text me all the time. Keep me posted. Oh, Eddie, can you get Chim my Switch next shift? That way Chris and I can play some games together? They don’t have a PS here.”
“Sure. Let me know if there’s anything else you want or need and I’ll put a box together.”
“I love you, Buck.”
“I love you too, Superman. I’ll be home soon, you’ll see.”
Eddie wraps him up and kisses him. “Take care of yourself, alright? Eat, shower, exercise. I know Maddie will make you, but just…take care of yourself. We’re gonna get through this.”
“I will. I promise. It’ll be better here, now that I’m with her, and I’m around the kids. We have a plan.”
“I love you so much, baby. We’ll see each other soon, I promise.”
“I love you too.”
His family leaves, and Maddie is already there when he turns around. He falls into her arms and sobs.
-
The weeks pass, emails with Manfield’s office are exchanged back and forth. Buck is still hiding out at Maddie’s, though his leave is coming to an end. They decided that it would be best for him to work out of the 133 if the case isn’t resolved by then, so Chim is working with Mehta to swap a firefighter for that time. They pair with that station a lot, and it’s not too much further away, so it’ll work out.
Eddie’s on shift, though, when he gets a call from the lawyer.
“Eddie Diaz speaking.”
“Mr. Diaz, I have an update.”
“Good I hope?”
“Very good. The judge has been arrested for multiple counts of child pornography. He is no longer a threat. Not only that, but their lawyer was also implicated in the ring, so he’s off the docket too.”
“WHOA. Did we know that was coming?”
“We did not. But it makes sense now why that judge was so deep in his pocket.”
“So what happens now?”
“Well, the suit has officially been dropped. I spoke to the DA, and we can still file charges for coercion in Los Angeles if we want to. I’d recommend it - we have more than enough evidence to convict. It would be a criminal trial instead of the civil one, so I would steer you toward a different partner in my practice who specializes in these sorts of cases. I’ve already been discussing it with her. But, Mr. Buckley can come home now, there’s no additional threat of your son’s custody being in question.”
“Oh thank god.”
“You have all been very patient, I know this has been difficult - custody battles usually are, but this one has been particularly alarming for several reasons. But you have a good man, if you don’t mind me saying so. It was brave, what he did.”
“I know. And you’re sure? It’s safe for him to come home? He won’t want to unless he can guarantee Chris cannot be taken.”
“If they try, it’ll be considered kidnapping - and since they hired a lawyer involved in a child pornography ring, not to mention bought a judge involved in it - the optics of that would be terrible."
“Oh holy fuck. Do you think…?”
“No. I have no evidence of that, Mr. Diaz. Though a restraining order at this stage wouldn’t be a terrible idea.”
“Yes. File it. Immediately. Send me whatever paperwork I need to sign. And while you’re at it, can you have adoption papers drawn up for Buck and Chris? Now that this is over, we will want that taken care of too.”
“Of course. I’ll have both of those to you by end of day.”
“Thanks. Seriously. You’ve been a lifesaver through all of this.”
“Happy to help.”
He hangs up and then calls Buck. “Can you come to the station? Like right now?”
-
Eddie didn’t tell him why he should come in, so he flies there. He barely puts his truck in park before he’s jumping out. “Hen, where is he?”
“Chim’s office. Breathe, Buck. He’s ok.”
He doesn’t stop moving, the office door is open, so he goes straight to Eddie. “What’s wrong?”
Eddie takes him in his arms and kisses him, smiling. “It’s over, baby.”
“What?”
“It’s over. You can come home.” Eddie sits and pulls him into his lap, details what the lawyer told him.
“BOTH of them? Does he think that’s why they wanted Chris?”
“That’s what I asked. I mean, Jesus. But no, he doesn’t think so. Just that they made a really bad choice in smarmy legal advice. But he is filing a restraining order, just in case.”
“Good. We’ll make sure the school has it on file.”
“We can talk when I get home in the morning, but for now, I want you to go back to Maddie’s and pack. Go home. Relax. I’ll be there tomorrow, first thing. Carla will bring Chris back from school this afternoon and the two of you can hang out. Order a pizza or something and have some quality time.”
“Don’t tell him. Let it be a surprise.”
“He’ll love that.”
The bell rings and Eddie groans. Chim stands up too. “Sorry guys, we’ve gotta go. Buck, you wanna ride along?”
“No thanks, Cap. I want to be there when my kid gets home from school.”
“Understood. Get your shit out of my house, Buckley.” But he’s smiling, and clasps his shoulder as they leave the room. Eddie offers him a quick kiss before he’s running. Buck leans against the wall with his arms folded waiting for the trucks to roll out.
He gets to go home.