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Grace always hated the story of the Garden of Eden.
Why would God even create the Tree of Knowledge if he wanted to keep his children in the dark? If Eden was supposedly perfect, how could anyone be tempted by the fruit?
Why was Eve blamed for being tricked while Adam choosing to go with her was barely discussed?
Naturally, the Garden of Eden was Grace’s father’s favorite story. He spoke of how temptation was the root of all evil, always giving her judgemental looks while her heart ached to be anywhere else.
When she finally escaped, she swore she'd never go back. She swore she'd live for herself.
On days when Grace felt especially guilty, she'd read whatever bible her motel provided. Guilt and shame were familiar, more comforting than they should've been, like an itchy sweater you kept because it was a gift from family.
It was at a motel, after she'd had sex for the first time, that she discovered Lilith.
Lilith was Adam’s first wife, created as his equal, but was cast aside when she refused to submit to him.
“That's me,” Grace whispered to herself.
It was like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. The problem wasn't temptation. The problem was when people put others down then shamed them for trying to climb up.
Of course, none of this mattered when she found out she was pregnant. She could take care of herself, but she couldn't raise a child on her own. She didn't have the money, and she didn't want to give up her child.
Grace returned to her father, who welcomed her with open arms while a young girl openly sneered at her.
He was a better grandfather than a father, though perhaps that was because her child was a boy instead of a girl. She watched as he warmly told the boy bible stories, her heart warm for her son but breaking for what she'd never had.
Grace tried to find another job there, but it was a small town where everyone knew each other. Everyone knew her and her father, so no one would have her.
Everyone knew her father wanted to keep her there. She only found out when he told her she'd only get her inheritance if she and her son lived with him until he died.
There was no escape, not this time. With no one offering Grace a job and a son to raise, she just couldn't make enough money to leave again.
Telling herself she'd use the money to give her son a good life, she agreed to stay.
As time went on, Grace grew more and more discontent. Her father rarely spoke to her, the girl that followed him openly sneered every time she saw her, the neighbors had started calling her a harlot whore, and even her son had turned against her.
Her father had poisoned her son’s mind, just as he'd done to that poor girl, turning them against anyone and everyone who were different. He'd ruined Grace’s image, ensuring no one would support her.
Just when she thought she couldn't take anymore, her father died at the altar, found by the girl who followed him like a lost sheep.
True to his word, her father left her all his money, of which he had none. Fortunately, he left her something so much more valuable. She just had to find it.
The church almost looked desecrated after she looked through it. Grace was near tears when the girl, the sheep, told her she knew where her inheritance was.
She then said she'd never find it and called her a harlot whore.
Grace yelled as she slapped the girl across the face. As she just laughed, the woman’s blood boiled and she slapped her again. And again and again and again.
She was screaming as strong arms pulled her back, the girl’s childish laughter echoing in the pews.
Grace was back in a motel, separated from her son. The priests had kept him there while kicking her out, claiming she was too dangerous to be allowed near him after hurting the girl. It certainly didn't help that she'd destroyed so much of the church.
Too dangerous. Too wild. Too everything.
Yet never enough.
Grace braved a storm one night, wailing her injustices at her father’s crypt.
“How was I supposed to raise my son without money?! Faith will not feed him! You kept me here you selfish bastard! You could've let us go! Why did you turn everyone against me?! Why couldn't you just love me?!”
Grace wailed, her heart breaking all over again as her head hurt more than it ever had.