Chapter Text
It was a good day.
The sun was shining, classes weren't too long today, and the cafeteria cook had even given him an extra spoonful of the lasagna she'd made, explaining that he looked happier than usual. And Fu was indeed happier. After all, the presentation he was supposed to give that day had been postponed until next week. This meant he had another seven days to convince himself that memorizing the text would make his stage fright disappear and allow him to speak flawlessly. Sometimes Fu really wondered how he was going to manage to study linguistics. How he even managed to be one of the best in the written part! But as long as he didn't have to give a presentation or anything like that, he was considerably calmer. Enjin had affectionately dubbed it the "Fuish Law" at some point. The law described how, if your language and expression were flawless on paper or in writing, as soon as it came to verbal communication, all that knowledge vanished into thin air. Even in front of his friends, Fu sometimes had trouble finding the right word or not stumbling over his own words.
As soon as he sat down at the table in the cafeteria, he took a deep breath. The sound was lost in the others' conversation, and Fu began to eat. His eyes briefly drifted over Zanka and Enjin, who were discussing some exam, with Rudo occasionally chiming in with indignation. It was most likely his exam. Fu was very glad that he could now sit at the table and didn't immediately jump up the moment someone looked at him or spoke to him. It had taken him several months, but it had probably taken the others a long time to warm up to him as well. Sometimes it seemed as if Zanka was still watching him critically, but Enjin said that was just his face. Rudo would sometimes just stare at him, but that was simply a quirk of the albino.
Fu felt comfortable there. Most of all when he could simply listen to the conversations and immerse himself in the hustle and bustle of the others. It switched off his mind, at least a little, and brought calm to his body. Sometimes a little too much calm.
“Hey! You’ll be sleeping in your lasagna if you’re not careful~!” Enjin’s voice brought him back to reality, and Fu looked with frightened eyes at the plate in front of him, which was dangerously close.
“Were you not sleeping again because of the presentation?” Zanka asked, taking a sip from his cup. Fu frowned slightly, considering how to reply without saying the wrong thing.
“Something like this…,” he managed to squeeze out, suppressing the yawn that wanted to come out.
“But! The presentation has been postponed until next week!” he quickly added, looking at the others. Confident that everything was now clear.
Enjin sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“So you’re still getting way too little sleep for another week,” he stated as a matter of fact, and instead of replying, Fu forced an apologetic smile. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t sleep before presentations. His mind kept him awake all night, bombarding him with the worst possible scenarios. Every time he remembered he had to present everything he’d learned aloud, his sentences became muddled and mocked him. How was he supposed to sleep like that?!
Fu tried to swallow the lump of justification, as his therapist had advised. But the lump pressed harder and harder against his throat, trying to devour every possible word, and just when it seemed impossible not to offer a justification, his savior appeared. At least, that's what Fu thought.
“Guys! Guys!” Riyo shouted, rushing over to the table. Her tray slid across the surface and finally came to rest against Zanka's. Her eyes scanned everyone at the table.
“You won’t believe this!” she began, slamming her hands down on the table. Fu flinched.
“I was just on my way here and then I saw Fu in the hallway. For a moment I was confused because his hair was suddenly red, but that was clearly Fu's side profile.”
Fu didn't know what to make of the statement.
“So I went up to him, put my hand on his shoulder and wanted to ask him how long he'd been dyeing his hair, and now for the kicker! That wasn't Fu! The guy turned to me, slapped my hand away and yelled at me for just touching him like that.”
“So you mistook a stranger for Fu? What’s so hard to believe about that?” Zanka interjected, raising an eyebrow.
“I’ll get to that in a moment!~ The whole point is, the guy looked exactly like Fu! Same side profile, same eye color, same face! I don’t think they differed much in voice either! He just looked like an angry version of our Fu, but a seriously angry one! And to top it all off, Zanka’s boyfriend showed up—”
“He is not my boyfriend!”
“Whatever. He came by, put his arm around the guy, and then they left together. I was so incredibly confused and briefly thought, okay, Fu is playing some kind of prank on me, but no,” she pointed her finger at Fu, who, with wide eyes and a heavy swallow, tried to remain calm.
“Fu is sitting here, just as I know him, looking like he’s about to jump up and howl with fear,” Riyo finished her story.
“So you’re saying there’s a guy walking around here who looks like Fu”
“Like Fu’s evil twin brother. Yes,” Riyo corrected Enjin briefly.
“I-I don’t have any siblings!” Fu declared immediately, glancing around in a panicked frenzy. The thought, or rather the fact, that someone with his face was walking around terrified him. At the same university, no less! For a moment, Fu considered whether he might somehow have siblings, but that would surprise him greatly. After all, his parents had practically given him up right after his birth. If they looked alike, they must be twins, and they surely would have been placed together. Besides, the nuns at the convent would certainly have told him that! After all, they had liked him! At least most of them did.
“Maybe it’s one of those doppelganger things. You know, that wild claim that somewhere in the world there’s someone walking around who looks exactly like you.”
“And Fu is just unlucky and the guy goes to the same university?”
“Would suit Fu”
“What?! Wha- What is that supposed to mean?!” Fu interjected again, still looking at the others in a panic. How could the others remain so calm? How could they not panic?
“Well, it wouldn’t be unusual for you to get involved in such wild things,” Enjin explained, leaning back slightly.
“After all, you also got caught up in Rudo’s trainee’s affair. You managed to notice on the only day that Asian food was available in the canteen that you’re allergic to soy sauce, and you’d find a needle in a haystack immediately, but you’d manage to ram it right into the main artery in your wrist.”
“That… That was unnecessarily personal…”
“But he’s not wrong,” Riyo added, and then finally sat down properly at the table.
Overwhelmed by his friends' words, Fu lowered his head. This couldn't all be true! The day had started so well, and now he had to come to terms with the fact that somewhere in the corridors of this university, there was a guy who looked just like him and didn't seem particularly friendly, and worse, he was apparently friends with Jabber. A guy Fu wanted as little to do with as possible. Whenever he saw Jabber, a shiver ran down his spine, and he had the feeling Jabber saw him more like a frightened animal than a human being. Luckily, he usually paid attention to Zanka, and Fu was able to extricate himself from the situation.
Tonight's nightmare was inevitable.
—|||—
With an annoyed sigh and Jabber's seemingly never-ending babble, the small bench on the university's outer railings became increasingly crowded.
“You look even more annoyed than usual when you’re around Jabber,” Cthoni said between bites of her sandwich, lifting her head with only moderate interest.
“That’s because he was touched by a girl earlier!~ The little one mistook him for someone else, I think, but it was so valuable! You should have seen his face!~”, Jabber began, leaning first across the table and then against the man next to him.
“Shut up,” Hii hissed at him, pushing the taller man away.
“So you do have a problem with women after all?” Momoa asked, while looking at her phone.
“I don’t! This girl just grabbed me as if we were friends.”
“But you look so friendly, Hii~! With that charming smile and stylish haircut~!” Jabber purred, unable to suppress his own laughter. In response, the other gave him a half-hearted tap on the back of the head.
“If that were true, then his girlfriend wouldn’t have left him,” Chtoni interjected, glancing demonstratively across the courtyard at a small group of women.
“Uhhhhh~”, Jabber commented, clearly pleased by the little prickling from the blue-haired girl.
Hii, on the other hand, rolled his eyes and decided to simply ignore his friends, or whatever he wanted to call those idiots. He had to focus on how he was going to pass the next exam. All the material wasn't sticking, and to be honest, he wasn't particularly interested in it. That didn't help with studying either. Personally, Hii wouldn't say his grades were terrible, even though everyone else there would disagree. They just didn't teach anything interesting, and philosophy and theology hadn't been his first choice of major! But when your parents wanted you out of the house and it was said “You study what we want, or you can figure out where you'll be sleeping next.” The options weren't particularly extensive.
Hii often wondered why he had bothered so much with his high school diploma back then. At the time, he had simply wanted to spite his parents that their “Good-for-nothing” and “ending up in the gutter” son was more capable than they thought, but without a high school diploma they couldn't have sent him to university. On the other hand, they would surely have deported him back to the camp. It must have been a lot of work for people who were never there.
He sighed inwardly. Other thoughts. His gaze briefly drifted to the group of women, and he felt a wave of nausea rising within him. Too unpredictable. You never knew where you stood with him. Or what other lame excuses she'd come up with at the end of the relationship. As if you wouldn't notice something like that within three years! No. You only notice something like that by chance after you get a new, young trainee teacher.
Of course it had hurt, and maybe he hadn't even left his room for a few days. And if he believed Momoa's words, he didn't know how to cope with the grief, which is why he felt nauseous whenever he saw her. Obviously, he wasn't a saint and had made mistakes, maybe ignoring a few calls or hanging out with the guys on her birthday. He didn't want to meet her parents either. Yet she had come up with lame excuses and definitely wanted to date her student teacher!
Hii had always looked after her dog whenever she needed him to. He'd even taken her poodle to the vet whenever the dog looked at her the wrong way and she was worried. Hii had even beaten up the guys who'd set fire to her little sister's new birthday dress. He was always reliable!
“You’re staring at her again~ You know you can just walk over to her and ask for forgiveness~”, Jabber whispered in his ear, and the grin was unmistakable.
“I’m not going to do anything,” Hii replied simply, then reached into his bag to get his food. He would manage to eat it despite the nausea.
He was completely over her.
—|||—
Weeks passed. Weeks in which Fu botched his presentation and anxiously scanned the corridors every day, searching for his doppelganger. The thought haunted him, and no matter how often the others tried to calm him down, it was no use. Fu was completely tense.
To make matters worse, he also had to deal with applications to the authorities and an appointment to receive financial assistance. He had managed for a long time without any additional income, but since university and studying left him with less time for his part-time job at the city library, he needed some support.
Holding all the important documents, he waited to be called. He practically jumped up from the uncomfortable chair when his name was called and was shown into the room where his caseworker was. He sat down uneasily while the woman briefly retrieved some more documents in front of him.
“Fu Orostor, pleased to-”, her gaze lingered on him, her eyes wide open and filled with disbelief.
“This can’t be true…”
“Is there a problem..? Am I wrong..?”
“Is there a problem? I’ve already told you several times that I don’t want to see you here anymore. Showing up here with a fake name is the last straw. A different hair color won’t save you. I thought your insult last time was already the last straw,” came a more passive-aggressive tone than was probably permissible. Fu sat stiffly in his chair. He didn’t understand anything anymore.
“But—Ma’am, so—” he tried to begin, but the woman’s angry glare intimidated him. For a moment she rummaged again in one of her drawers before emphatically placing several papers on the table.
“Your application will be rejected indefinitely due to your behavior and lack of cooperation, and if you do not leave, I will issue a ban from the premises.”
Fu looked at the slips of paper in front of him. The writing on the applications was so messy that it was almost impossible to read them; the only thing that was somewhat legible was the applicant's first name. Hii. Fu raised his head, intending to explain to the woman that he wasn't that person and that he desperately needed the money. But she didn't look like she was open to further discussion. So, without saying anything more, Fu stood up, defeated, and left the office and the building.
Enjin, who had driven him there, was waiting for him on the opposite side of the street. Fu tried to maintain a neutral expression, but Enjin immediately realized that something was wrong.
“Hey little guy, what’s up? Didn’t have any luck with the lady?~”, Enjin tried to make it funny, but the closer Fu got and the more he could analyze his face, the more he realized that apparently it wasn’t the time for jokes.
“She… I think she mistook me for someone else… and chased me out…,” Fu explained quietly, then hung his head.
“What now? But you had your ID and everything with you.”
“I couldn’t even show it… She said I have been there under a false name…”, he muttered.
“Can we… just go back…?” he added, hoping that would end the conversation. For the first few moments, it did. Enjin nodded, gave him a quick pat on the shoulder, and then climbed into his beat-up SUV, which had barely passed its roadworthiness test. Together they drove along the streets and back to the dorm where Fu was staying.
But then Enjin spoke again at a red light.
“But she should have listened to you – it was your first time there! Okay, so she mistook you for someone else, but you don't have the same name, do you?”
“Don’t think so… I was able to briefly glance at one of his applications… which she angrily thrust in front of me… His name is Hii… or something like that—He doesn’t write very legibly…”
“Well then, we’ll find the guy! I have a hunch who it could be if she’s mistaking you both just by looks~”
“N-No! I really don’t want to cause any trouble! This—this will surely just be a silly misunderstanding and it’ll sort itself out somehow. I’ll—well—I’ll just write them an email or something…”
Enjin sighed, briefly considering simply turning off the engine and arguing with Fu right there and then, but the drivers behind him were already honking, as the green light had started three seconds ago. So he continued driving towards the dormitory.
Just before they arrived there, Enjin opened his mouth again.
“The easiest thing would be to just drag the guy there with you and show her that you're not him. That way she'll have to apologize and you'll get your money,” but Fu didn't reply. He nervously fidgeted with his fingers and just stared at his feet. When the car finally stopped, he thanked Enjin quietly and stumbled out. His head was spinning and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed. Even though that wasn't a good option, or even an option at all. First, he had to figure out how he was going to get enough money to pay the rent and everything. Maybe he should work more hours at the library again? Get a second job? But somehow he still had to study for his classes!
All the commotion in his head had made him forget how he'd even gotten to the dorm and his room. He only truly came to his senses when the water overflowed his glass and ran down his hands. He quickly turned off the tap and looked at the overflowing glass. He wished it could all just run out of him if it became too much.
—|||—
The old sofa creaked under Hii's weight as he flopped down on it and threw his head directly over the armrest. His eyes watched as Jabber walked through their shared apartment, undressing as he went.
"Yeah, we definitely need to go grocery shopping this week," Jabber remarked, opening the refrigerator and glancing at its meager contents. He briefly picked up the leftovers from the previous day, then put them back.
“I know. It’s your turn to go shopping,” Hii replied, stretching and cracking his bones.
“Whaaaat?! Come on, you can meet me halfway, we can do this together~”
“It’s your turn. I took care of it the last two times, you complete idiot.”
“You get your parents’ money handed to you on a silver platter because they want to get rid of you! I have to somehow wheedle money out of the welfare office, and shopping isn’t exactly easy with that. They don’t give me that much!” Jabber continued, trying to plead his case, looking at Hii with an almost pleading gaze.
Hii just rolled his eyes and then got up from the sofa, clearly annoyed. He went into the small open kitchen and looked in the refrigerator himself, then in the pantry. There was hardly anything left. Not that the two of them ate particularly much. They definitely consumed the most food when they were drinking or when Jabber was experimenting with some of his own concoctions. They often ate at friends' houses, or, something Jabber loved to do, they brought food home from parties. Half a pizza, the half-used bottle of Jack Daniels, the occasional casserole from the fridge. No matter how, they got food and were able to compensate for their not particularly high consumption.
Nevertheless. The last few weeks had been incredibly stressful, and if there was one thing that fueled Hii's hunger, it was stress. The upcoming exam, analyses he still had to write, and his father wanted some kind of proof that he had earned the money he'd invested. Ideally, Hii wouldn't get any money from his parents at all, or at least only in a way that wouldn't disadvantage him. But at this point, they were the only ones who could give him money. He had forfeited his eligibility for student financial aid by failing to attend his classes, calling in sick too frequently for extended periods, and not exactly being friendly at the counseling center. Besides, he couldn't provide a reason for any of it.
Eventually, his parents found out, and after screaming for about 40 minutes, it was over with a “Either you pay me everything or I’ll have to come back.” for now. The following “We see no reason to support your terrible behavior. Either you get good grades or you can earn your respect on the streets.” Hii preferred to ignore it. In his eyes, his parents already owed him enough that they should also pay for this nightmare of a university education.
Luckily for him, he didn't have to be top of the class. But just passing was sometimes difficult for him.
“You don’t have to keep reminding me that my parents don’t want me,” he hissed at Jabber as he slammed the pantry shut and leaned against the kitchen counter.
“But it’s an important fact when it comes to where you get your money from,” Jabber explained to him, as if that made it any better.
“I’m going for a smoke. When I get back, you’ll have the shopping list written,” Hii finally conceded and headed for the door. As he put on his shoes and grabbed his jacket, Jabber began to thank him half-heartedly and start brainstorming aloud what they might need. Of course, there were things on the list that only made it because Hii was paying. With a sigh, Hii left the apartment, the multi-family building, and walked down the street. On the way, he rummaged in his jacket pocket for the worn pack of cigarettes and blindly pulled one out. Another thing stress had caused. He lit it as he walked and blew the smoke into the twilight sky. He shouldn’t stay out too long if he still wanted to go shopping, but right now he needed it. The cool air on his face, the smoke in his lungs, the route that always took him past the dormitories. It was one of the few routes he knew by heart. His gaze automatically wandered up the facade to one of the lit rooms, but he couldn't see anyone inside. Perhaps that was for the best.
Only when Hii truly grasped what he was doing did he grit his teeth, throw the damaged cigarette on the ground, and rummage for the next one.
“What a load of stupid shit,” he muttered, and stomped on along the path.
—|||—
“Come on! I told you I’d be there for you~,” Riyo tried to encourage the anxious bundle beside her, but Fu didn’t seem enthusiastic. It seemed as if his whole body was resisting continuing to walk through the university corridors. But Riyo simply pulled him along behind her, a smile on her lips, as if she weren’t going to drag him to his doom.
All the emails Fu had written in the past few days had been ineffective, and even one of the other processors had advised him to simply prove that he and Hii weren't the same person. After he'd explained this to the others, more or less successfully, Riyo had taken it upon herself to bring Fu to his doppelganger. Enjin suggested Fu should go on his own; he wished him strength but wouldn't intervene until Hii refused to help. Rudo was held back by Enjin, and Zanka refused to go. He only offered a clue as to where Jabber at least spent his breaks.
“Riyo, I—I don’t think this is a good idea!” Fu tried to appeal to her, but Riyo was determined. Aside from the fact that she was getting tired of seeing Fu stressing himself out about everything, she also desperately wanted to be there when the two of them met for the first time.
After several minutes, she finally managed to drag him into the courtyard, and as she looked around, she held him by the collar. Her eyes scanned several groups before she let out a triumphant sound.
She had found Hii!
Fu's alarm bells were ringing. Every further step would mean the end for him! Every further step would bring him closer to death! He was certain he was going to die! Coming face to face with his doppelganger couldn't be good!
Riyo wasted no time. She gripped Fu even tighter and then took off running, dragging the other one behind her and heading purposefully towards the small group.
“Heeeey!~,” she finally called out when the two weren't too far away anymore, and then came to a stop next to the table. She received a few confused looks, but even more eyes were on Fu. In his haste, he had pulled his hoodie hood over his head and was standing—or rather crouching—next to Riyo with his back to the group.
“I know you, so- ahhh! Wait a minute!~ You’re Zanka’s little friend, right?~”, Jabber spoke first, leaning slightly over the table.
“Yup~ Riyo. But that’s not what this is about,” she immediately waved off and tried to get Fu into a slightly straighter posture.
“My buddy here has a little problem that you,” she pointed at Hii, who looked at her with the same enthusiasm as when they first met, “could help him~.” Hii raised one eyebrow, confused about what Riyo wanted from him, and then looked at Fu, who still had his back more or less to him.
“Oh yeah? Your buddy doesn’t seem particularly happy to be here,” he remarked, and immediately saw the shiver that went through Fu’s body.
“But it’s important that he’s here,” Riyo sighed.
“The problem is that he doesn’t receive student financial aid because of you.”
“Huh?! What’s that supposed to mean? I have nothing to do with whether someone gets money or not! I’m not the Mafia!” Hii snapped, glaring indignantly at Riyo. Jabber couldn’t suppress a laugh in the background.
“Under other circumstances, perhaps not, but—” she pulled Fu closer to her, finally turning him around properly, and then nudged him in the side with her elbow.
“I said I’d stand by you, not that I’d explain everything for you.”
With a sound more like that of a frightened animal, Fu tremblingly raised his hands and loosened his hood a little before slowly removing it.
“T.. The.. They think I am you..-”
Riyo watched closely as Hii's eyes widened, then he looked away, and then back at Fu. Fu, on the other hand, just stared. For the first time, he was face to face with the guy who looked so much like him, and it was a shock to see it for himself. Same eye color, practically identical features. And now, as they both stared at each other in shock, they probably looked even more alike.
Hii turned his head briefly to the others, as if to ask if they had seen it too, and Fu caught a glimpse of Hii's ears. They were covered in piercings, reminding Fu of the still-closing hole in his own ear, from the piercing he'd taken out as soon as it had healed for two weeks. He hadn't thought it suited him, and his hair had always gotten caught in it, but he didn't want to upset Riyo, who had been with him at the piercer's.
When Hii turned back to him, Fu flinched slightly. The other man's expression was still incredulous, but more composed.
“This is a bad joke, right?”
“That’s crazy! I’d completely forgotten that the boy existed!~”, Jabber began, slapping Hii on the shoulder.
“He always chills with Zanka! I definitely wanted to tell you about him before, but I kept forgetting~”
“How could you forget something like that?!” Hii immediately confronted him. Jabber just shrugged, then looked at Fu, who instantly became nervous under the stare.
Fu didn't know what to do or say. He'd come to sort out the money issue, but somehow his brain still hadn't quite processed what was happening. His gaze was still fixed on Hii, who had launched into a brief argument with Jabber. But Fu used this opportunity to take a closer look at his doppelganger. He observed how his hair seemed barely to move, yet still possessed a certain softness. Fu also found the shade of red it was likely dyed to be quite pretty. The black piercings stood out sharply against the hair. He appeared to have small scars on his lower lip, and if Fu hadn't been slightly distracted by the almost pointed teeth, he could have counted how many there were.
When Hii turned his head back towards him, Fu briefly felt as if his heart had stopped. The serious gaze and sharp eyes had clearly had an effect.
“Stop staring at me like that.”
“I-I'm sorry-! So- um.. how- how old are you..?”
“Huh? What’s with that stupid question?”
“I’m sorry! Please—please answer me!”
“...21,” Hii replied, somewhat surprised. Even more surprised when Fu’s face was flooded with immense relief.
“That’s good! Great! I only turned 20 this year! So we can’t be twins separated at birth!” Fu chattered quickly, seeming as if he had found the answer to all questions.
“I really hoped for that,” Hii replied, then stood up from the bench and positioned himself in front of Fu. He wasn't much taller, maybe 1-2 cm. Perhaps Fu was simply standing crooked or hunched over.
“So, why are you here?” Hii asked, admitting to himself that looking at Fu felt strange. It was like seeing a distorted reflection. Although he had to say there was something interesting about the soft features and large eyes. A new perspective on his own face, perhaps?
Fu began to play with his fingers, running them along the hem of his hoodie and avoiding eye contact.
“The… The nice lady from—So… Um—”
“Speak more clearly”
“Yes! You have to go with me to the office and prove that I'm not you, otherwise I won't get any money and won't be able to pay the costs, and then I'll be expelled from university and-”
“Wait a minute—they really think you’re me?!” Hii asked again. At first, it had seemed like a bad joke to him.
“Yes…”, Fu replied in a trembling voice.
“Wow. I knew the office was really stupid, but like this?”
“Please… please just come with me…” Fu pleaded, trying everything to keep from bursting into tears. All the stress of the past few days could vanish right here and now if Hii would just agree. Hii seemed to be considering it, or at least Fu hoped so, because Hii didn't say anything.
“What’s in it for me?”
“Eh-?”