Chapter Text
Tadashi doesn’t remember his life before TAP. He knows what he is, a Zeswa- Na’vi, dirty.
Mercer made sure he knew that last bit- all of them did. When they were being showered in antiseptic, their braids and beads combed away. Their songcord’s shoved into boxes along with their dolls, hauled off to storage facilities or tucked into their pillowcases. It was beaten into them. Figuratively and literally.
He doesn’t remember life before TAP, because none of them were allowed to.
“They”, were the other children here with him. All from different clans, Tadashi glanced around the dorm, his hazel eyes catching on their lithe figures as the students all got dressed for the day. Some didn’t know what clans they came from, abandoned by their families as infants. He pulled his own shirt over his figure- it was a bit small and choking.
Since Tadashi was still young- he was able to wear adult human clothes, but not well. Making new clothes was expensive, the last thing Mercer liked was expensive. That’s why he didn’t like Akiteru.
Akiteru was the oldest at TAP, eight years old, and he was Sarentu. There were only two of them, the Tsukishima brothers. The elder was truly like a brother to all the children at TAP, guiding them and teaching them Na’vi when the lights would go out.
Tadashi jumped as he felt a guiding hand on his shoulder blades- white teeth grinned easily at him as Aki pushed him towards the door, he wasn’t even dressed. Mercer hated tardiness, most children were still pulling on their shoes and socks when they got to class.
“Rise and shine! Get your bags and don’t forget anything!” The clear voice of Takeda called, his avatar's head poking into the bunk as several children skipped out into the hall. Tadashi fastened his belt and bounced out to join them- the metal solid against his bare feet. The Zeswa’s socks and shoes were hooked into his fingers, backpack clutched across his chest in a hug. The warm hand had left his back, and when he glanced around- he found Akiteru several paces back helping the slower children by packing their backpacks for them.
He followed the other five year olds, bangs brushing over his eyes and his cheeks. His hands came to brush those said cheeks- he was born different. Rather than glowing patterns, he had dots splattered across his face and body, with no rhyme or reason. They glowed brighter than his peer’s markings, able to be seen even in the fluorescent lights on base.
The boy stumbled as something collided with his shoulder harshly, his knees stabbed the ground as his shoes rolled out in front of him. Tadashi’s hands quickly reached out, slipping his bag straps over his front and scrambling for the shoes. A shrieking laugh sounded above him- and his arm paused to look at three children peering down at him. Their eyes round and crinkled with smiles.
Ratxal, a Metkayina with spiking curls along his teal face, sneered down at him. He was curt and rude to all the staff, and Tadashi had only seen him with his own trio. The boy’s thick tail swayed, wide wrists seated along his belt easily. The two next to him, a dark blue boy named Tsuley, and a shorter Na’vi girl called O’Tul giggled as well. Ratxal was older, at 7 years old he was the fourth oldest at TAP.
Tadashi attempted to bare his teeth as they walked ahead, but it came out as a heavy frown while he scrambled for his things. Tsuley positively grinned, “Somebody’s gonna be laaaate!” He teased, the girl on his flank made fake gasps, the children’s tails swished in amusement.
O’Tul turned and walked backwards, checking her thick black watch- a prize for good behavior. “Maybe somebody here should pay more attention during time lessons!” Her boots scuffed on the ground, Tsuley giggled and pushed her shoulder. They were both forest Na’vi, clan unknown. Their electric yellow eyes and long black hair showed proof of their heritage.
Tadashi felt tears burn in his eyes as he scrambled for purchase- not before his Kuru was yanked upward like a scruffed kitten. Stinging pain exploded from his scalp. The greenette whipped around with wide eyes- a scoff sounded from pale lips. Tsukishima, the younger one. He was already fully dressed, platinum blond hair falling around thick glasses. The RDA attempted an eye color change surgery… it did not go well.
The mark of the sarentu sat on his high cheekbones, glinting silver in the light as his nose scrunched in.. disgust? Annoyance?
Barely visible stripes coated his face and arms, the most noticeable was a crescent moon shape on his forehead. “/Pathetic/” The boy chuffed, in Na’vi. All four of the children stiffened- glancing around warily. Nobody was allowed to speak Na’vi on base. Not even the Tsukishimas, whom Mercer and the others had a love hate relationship with.
The three didn’t even get to respond before Tsukishima was walking out- dragging Tadashi with him like a dog on a leash. Tadashi can’t tell anyone why, but he felt in that moment that was where he was always meant to be.
-
“I pledge allegiance, to the Flag of The United States of America,”
Their voices mixed together, hands over their hearts in the metal cased classroom. Eyes looking up as if god was in the ceiling, stern eyes watching all of them and demanding loyalty. Of course he knew that god was not there, but Mercer was, and that is as close as you can get when on base.
“-and to the republic, for which it stands,”
Tadashi glanced around, the five year old class was the largest at the facility. Well, it was technically also the 4-6 class. They had the most diversity as well, their skin and eyes clashing in spurts of color against the grays that blanketed the base. Before them it was the 1-3, then after was the 7-9. Mercer always said that the oldest kids were like the testing batch, the guinea pigs.
Tadashi always wanted a guinea pig, but not the ones they injected with Pandoran plants in the labs.
“One nation, under god, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”
Takeda smiled, his avatar leaned back against the elevated stage that was built for the human teachers. “Good, now for the RDA pledge.” He instructed easily, the children all breathed in through fanged teeth and blue lips as they prepared to speak. Their hands lifted from their hearts then to the air, palms facing the ceiling as their arms tucked behind their back.
“To the Resource Development Administration,
I pledge my loyalty, to bring sanctuary,
And peace.
To honor the dead, together on moon and planet.”
Once they were done, the Na’vi slunk into their seats. Some sat perfectly rigid, others crossed their legs, some even twisted their chairs and sat straddling the back. Tadashi sat with his knees to his chin, tail flicking for balance as he dug through his backpack and pulled out his notebook and pens.
Something clattered on the ground a few seats over- and everyone’s heads snapped up. A boy with fiery orange hair scrambled- looking for something. His name was Shoyo; he was Tlalim, and he remembered his clan. Hinata was always singing- they were never allowed to sing, especially not as proudly as the boy did.
When they were in the church choir, Shoyo hummed Na’vi songs. Tadashi never tells on him, but he is scared by the sounds nevertheless. His eyes found what the boy had been searching for.
That’s when Tadashi gasped, a songcord tangled in the other five year old’s fingers as he desperately tried to shove it back into his bag. They were not allowed to have songcords- not in any circumstance. The beads curled around his fingers before dropping into the last pocket on the front, Shoyo sat rigid in his seat now, eyes straight forward as if everyone was not watching him.
O’Tul and Tsuley, who sat behind Tadashi- very obviously glanced at each other. They all looked at Takeda, who coughed and looked down at his tablet. He was choosing to ignore that? Hinata had broken the rules. The staff were always lenient with certain children. Children who looked the least Na’vi.
“Today we’re going over English literary terms, language you’ll use in diplomacy, and e-meetings.” The man spoke, a simple track jacket rested over a TAP embroidered gray shirt. Tadashi opened his notebook, the thin pages smooth under his fingers as his face smushed into his knees.
Takeda pulled up a large blue holograph, it projected yesterday’s lessons. The girl who sat next to Tadashi, opened her notebook as well. Yaichi Hitoka was as quiet as him, they did not often speak, but they were kind to one another in the way every child on base learned to be.
She was rewarded colorful highlighters for her grades, Tadashi was given extra notebook paper, they shared. Takeda pulled his arms apart, enlarging the screen for the children to see. The man adjusted his glasses- which he did not need- and opened his mouth to speak.
“We talked about Idioms last class, phrases- that are not exactly literal. They’re commonly used by humans, the English speaking ones, which you will communicate with.” The man smiled, his tail flicked behind him, short ears and thin eyebrows. None of the children have eyebrows.
He continued, “Can anyone tell me of an idiom from yesterday?” He questioned. Tadashi began flipping through his notebook, the paper was made here on Pandora. Hands shot up all around him. Tadashi and Hitoka kept their own arms down, scared rather than stupid.
“Tobio?” Sensei tilted his head, gesturing to the dark haired boy who sat next to Hinata. He still had thick locs, they grew all the way down to the end of his Kuru, undoing them risked killing the boy. At least, that’s what Tadashi assumed. They were always told not to play with their kurus, or they'd die.
The boy obviously thought for a moment- not expecting to be picked. Takeda got in trouble if not enough children lifted their hands. Tobio breathed in, “You.. you can lead a dead horse to water- but uhm..” He trailed off, Hinata snickered next to him. The Kametire braved on. “You cannot make it think?”
Takeda hummed sympathetically, “Close enough- you’re thinking of two phrases. That’d being ‘Beating a dead horse,’ which means to.. Repeatedly bring up something that has already been solved. The other being, ‘You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” He breathed in, Sensei always spoke so fast.
“That means, you can give somebody all the knowledge, or everything they need, but you can’t force them to use those things.”
—--
When lunch rolled around- the children all stood and walked out single file to the canteen. Tadashi slipped through the other children in line to reach his target, Tsukishima. He fell slightly out of step with the blonde, too-small sneakers scuffing on the metal walkway as his hand came to tap at the taller boy’s shoulder.
Tsukishima’s head whipped around- an embroidered baseball cap sat snugly on his head, long blue ears twitching at the sides. It was Akiteru’s hat, Tadashi realized after a moment. The boy’s Kuru was tied into a twist bun, rather than the other children who let theirs fall down their backs easily. His was restrained, caged.
Tadashi swallowed, his mouth dry- he didn’t have any friends. Not one even when he’d been in the program his whole life. “.. I-.. I wanted to say thank you.” He whispered, spots pulsing dimly against his darker blue skin.
Tsukishima blinked, soldiers walked past the line of children and the lights buzzed dimly overhead. “.. For what?” He grunted in return, brows furrowing under his goggles. Tsukishima’s thin nose scrunched under their band.
Tadashi stared, “.. for. Uhm.. yeah,” there was a pause, a moment where neither of them made any noise. “I’m Tadashi by the way..” He stopped as they reached the doorway- children dispersing to different tables. All the classes ate at the same time, since there were so few Na’vi in the first place. His finger pads came together, pushing out and then in. Tadashi’s joints ached with the constant cold on base.
Tsukishima blinked, his pupils dilated in gold pools with understanding “..Oh. Don’t thank me, I was just..” The blonde seemed to think for a second, glancing around. “..Annoyed.” He finally landed on, just like earlier, Tadashi could not decide whether that was meant for him or the other children.
He was about to vocalize the question, when the older kids came down the hall- Akiteru at the front. His blonde hair was darker than Tsukishima’s, falling over in a side part while his Kuru laid easily over his shoulder.
“Kei, my baby bro!” The older Na’vi grinned, throwing his arms around the younger Sarentu’s lithe shoulders while said boy groaned loudly. His hands came to bat and shove at Akiteru, who only laughed heartily and shoved back. All the children were very physical with each other, the staff never liked that.
Tadashi jolted as his Kuru was caught again, “Come sit with us,” Kei demanded, his pale fingers holding the braid gently yet assertively as he guided Tadashi along with the pair. Akiteru smiled again- he never seemed to stop doing that. It curled onto his face with white teeth gleaming in the light- Tadashi wished he had a smile like that. He had crooked, sharp teeth.
“You guys friends now?” He asked, steps wide and easy. Tadashi and Tsukishima glanced at each other, hazel eyes meeting gold. Tadashi wasn’t sure what a friend was, and now he quickly realized that Tsukishima didn’t know either. Akiteru was talking to a younger child now, pushing them along. His attention span never seemed to last very long.
“Tsukki-” Tadashi began, but was interrupted. His jaw snapped shut on instinct, fangs clicking together.
“Tsukki is a cute nickname!” Akiteru said, cooing at his baby brother as they made their way past groups of bustling children. The younger Na’vi weaved through their legs, the three all dodged them easily. It was better to avoid collision than get them to stop or scold them. What was a scolding from the older ones quickly became a beating from TAP.
Kei blushed furiously, his patterns glowing along with his darkening cheeks. “You interrupted him, asshole! It wasn’t a nickname!” He snapped at his brother, the blonde’s voice cracked at the peak of his words. Akiteru laughed heartily and peered over at the two of them.
“It’s not polite to hold people by the Kuru, Kei, he’s not a dog.” Akiteru said. He reached behind Kei and batted the boy’s hand away from the braid, letting it slip along Tadashi’s spine. It was then, next to his brother, Tadashi realized how pale Kei was. His skin bleached rather than fair.
Now that the Zeswa thought about it, Kei was always getting pulled out of class for the scientists. If anyone in the program was a guinea pig, it was Tsukishima Kei.
His hand came to wrap around the kuru, fiddling with it as they came to a stop- entering the rails of the lunch line. “I- It’s fine!” He blurted, both siblings looking at him as if they just remembered he was there. Two pairs of golden eyes suddenly like burning suns on his unnaturally spotted face.
Kei turned back to Akiteru then, “See, he says it’s fine, so butt out.” His hands came to shove at the older boy as they moved up in line, the older Sarentu laughed again. Tadashi felt a grin overtaking his face. Pale fingers took the braid from his hands, Tadashi didn’t mind.
They got their lunches and sat at a plastic, cold table. Tadashi ate slowly, Tsukishima barely ate at all. Akiteru noticed, his ears sloping down as he glanced at his younger brother. Kei noticed- his eyes flicked away, Tadashi’s kuru shifted as he felt along the length of the braid nervously.
“They told me they were pulling me tonight, I don't want to throw up again,” Tsukki explained, his voice was quiet. Tadashi burned his attention to the collard greens that sat like slime on the metal tray.
Akiteru hummed and nodded, but his eyes grew distant. Tadashi wondered why they did not grow defiant.
—-
“It’s not fair!” Tsuley snapped, snarling and crouching on his bunk, tail lashing behind him. The boy’s spots glowed in the dim light, Tadashi illuminated the floor below him with his brightness. O’Tul sat on the bunk above him, her legs dangled down and she held up one hand tauntingly, smooth beads twisted between her fingers. A songcord. Dirty. Forbidden.
Hinata hissed, met with a snap from the boy on the bunk. His white fangs bared like the moon while his eyes were wide as craters. “Give that back, it was my mother’s!” Shoyo demanded, hand swatting at the girl. Tadashi hid under the bottom of his own bunk, hazel eyes barely peeking out.
Other eyes glowed around the room in a range of colors, all the children being awoken by the three’s racket.
The metal floor was cold against his thin pajamas, penetrating the fabric straight to his malnourished bones. His bunkmate (and desk mate) , Hitoka, was next to him. The Aranahae was trembling so harshly that he took her hand in his own and held it tightly. Her eyes flicked to his and she seemed to curl in tighter to his side, Tadashi moved forward slightly to watch the argument.
Their miniscule warmth seeped into each other, and while they rarely spoke- Tadashi felt as though Hitoka was the closest thing he would ever have to a sister.
Hitoka was always the first to sense danger, she knew when one thing would get them all in trouble, and Tadashi had learned to take his cues from her when to get out of a situation. They looked after each other silently, when it felt like everyone else was far too loud.
O’Tul bared her teeth, “/You shouldn’t even have it!/” Her tongue twisted in their native language, causing Hinata to hiss as he jumped up to her bunk. She avoided him deftly, moving to the floor on all fours- trading positions. The Songcord clattered as it collided with her watch, the screen of the device glowed a dim green.
Suddenly, the girl’s hand was wrenched upward in a bruising grip. “/Let go of it./” A voice demanded, black dreads hung over deep blue Kametire eyes. Tobio. There was a breath where they stared at each other, teeth bared, tails lashing.
O’Tul hissed but complied, her fingers releasing and her arm going limp when freed. Tsuley sat up, glaring at the boy. His yellow eyes were analytical and sharp. The twins were smart, they knew when to push the rules, when to behave, when to comply and when to be themselves. Timing was everything.
“The great Olo’eyktan of the Kame’tire is here to save you!” He snapped, hand reaching up and pulling at Hinata’s ankle. Hitoka flinched as the fiery haired Na’vi yelped and dropped into a roll, Tobio held out his palm and dropped the songcord to his bunkmate when he was stable. The taller child was shaking with anger- he always fell for simple tricks.
“Don’t call me that!” Tobio shouted, swirling on Tsuley and grabbing him by the shirt. The forest Na’vi had his hair cut into a long style, reaching down to his shoulders. Tobio’s hair was of his clan, dreads that fell over his eyes and sheathed their heat from the world like a cloud of thorny protection.
O’Tul stood and brushed off her pajamas, she lunged and easily clambered up to her bed once more. “Upset that even your clan left you, Kame’tire heir?” Her voice lilted mockingly, only for a moment before a rumbling growl echoed through the dorm and all the children flinched.
Hitoka began to tremble harder next to him, he sucked in a breath and glanced at her. “It’s fine,” He whispered, and she nodded. “I know.” Her voice was quiet and dim, like a breeze whistling through a cave.
“Are you stupid?” A familiar, older voice snapped at all of them, Ratxal smacked the back of O’Tul’s head as he found his way to the group. The girl winced and rubbed her skull as Tsuley backed up on his own bed to avoid being hit. The duo quickly backed down at the sight of the Metkayina.
Akiteru skid to a stop next to him, hissing at the children to scold them, “Mercer is watching, fighting between yourselves gives you nothing but empty stomachs and beatings!” He grabbed Hinata and Tobio by the ears, shaking them harshly. They both hissed and batted him away.
Being the oldest meant he was responsible for all the children, not just his brother. If Aki and the 7-9 class were not harsh, then they would be a lot skinnier with a lot more broken bones.
“It was Hinata’s skxawng ass I had to come save!” Tobio defended, his arm coming and shoving harshly at the shorter boy, who hissed loudly. Tadashi had no idea how the two were always around each other when they bickered so constantly.
“Nobody asked you to!” Hinata shouted, but was quickly quieted with a hiss from both Ratxal and Akiteru. The sight of the blonde made Tadashi glance around in hopes of seeing his friend, but to no avail. Tsukishima was often pulled late at night, the lab coats always had him as their favorite. Their conversation from lunch swirled in the greenette’s head, and his fingers curled tight.
Yaichi winced when he squeezed too tight, the bones in her hands jumping at the sudden pressure- he hardly realized he was still holding onto her.
Tadashi glanced at Hitoka, his mouth opened with a dry click. “Come on, we’re safe now,” The boy whispered, pushing forward to slide out from under their bunk. His pajamas chafed against his chest and scratched at his sensitive ribcage. Akiteru slept shirtless, and Tadashi almost wanted to do the same, but it was far too cold in the metallic bed chamber for that.
Hitoka nodded, still shaking as she kept her grip on his palm- using it to pull herself out. The girl’s hair was a dirty blonde, falling in a short cropped bob around her round face. The dusty color was much more similar to Aki’s almost brown strands, rather than Tsukki’s (Tsukki?) unnatural platinum tufts.
Speaking of the younger Tsukishima, a hissing sound slipped from the end of the hall- light pouring in as a signal that the doors had opened. Children scrambled into their bunks, Tadashi clambered up to the top of his own while Hitoka dashed under her covers. The blankets were not warm, thin sheets of rough fabric barely cut large enough to fit under.
Tadashi watched as Tobio and Hinata shoved each other forward- down the hall to their own beds. Yamaguchi’s eyes snapped to the side as his mattress dipped, Akiteru hiding in the shadows there. The older Na’vi held one finger up to his lips in a shushing motion, Tadashi nodded hesitantly.
He barely caught a glimpse of a turquoise tail hiding behind one of the pillars, the Metkayina barely having time to duck away before the Staff entered. The lab coats- their white attire and gleaming eyes made Tadashi begin to shake. He had only been pulled a few times, none of which were pleasant.
An arm wrapped around his shoulders, ceasing his trembling. There was a noise of something being thrown. Not something- pale skin and a golden halo lay crumbled on the metal floor. Still. Akiteru twitched beside Tadashi, and he felt his own muscles jump with the need to /move/.