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Christmas Eve
Fucking Majorca.
Harry should have just murdered Dudley in the pub. He should have started slinging AKs at the witnesses as well. Harry would have done so if he knew letting Dudley leave to console his infant daughter would mean that come Christmas eve he would still have an intact soul, because Dudley would chose to have a holiday outside the country.
So now the murder/horcrux plan has to wait until after Christmas. Harry didn’t know how he was supposed to get into the Christmas spirit with this looming over his head. Every time he thought of the ritual, of having to down a cup of bloody Dudley’s blood, his stomach turned. He knew he would do anything to secure his future supporting his goddaughter. This was a necessary casualty of the war.
Before Harry popped home to his husband who he knew was up waiting for him, Harry found needing to escape outside. He took a breath and found the crisp air staving off some of the tension that was starting to consume him.
As Harry was looking at the stars, he felt a presence behind him.
“Harry”
Fuck. Harry knew that voice. First Majorca now Albus Bloody Fucking Dumbledore. This was going to be the worst Christmas.
Harry quickly turned and fired a wall of stunners, all which passed through his former headmaster. A slightly translucent Dumbledore was floating an inch off the ground, he was wrapped in a series of gold heavy chains.
“Harry, you can’t hurt me, and I can’t touch you.” Albus stared back at Harry with a grave, pained expression. “Harry I’m so so-“
“Save it, I don’t know how to exorcize a ghost, but give me Theo and a couple hours and I’ll be sending you back where you came from.” Harry snarled as he moved to put as much distance between him and this specter as possible.
Dumbledore appeared undeterred.
“When clock strikes midnight, you will be greeted by the three ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. Open your heart to them, and you may be saved from my fate.”
Dumbledore looked at Harry expectantly, like he anticipated Harry continuing this conversation. Disappointment passed through Dumbledore's eyes when the silence stretched on.
“I built this chain, Harry, link by link. With every time I used the system as justification for my-“
”Absolute shitty behavior.” Harry couldn’t listen to sermon every longer. He was about to apparate home, let Fred take over and give Albus a piece of his mind. Dumbledore must have sensed it.
“Heed their lesson Harry” was the last bit of shitty advice that Harry knew apparated back to his house. Figuring out the vague warning of a phantom Dumbledore was a problem for future Harry. Tonight’s Harry had a date with his husband, huddled by the fire - the first calm night in forever.
Nested in Fred’s embrace the last thought Harry had before sleep dragged him under was how he would miss this fleeting peace.
Christmas Past
Harry was no stranger to weird, vivid disturbing dreams, compliments of Tiny Tim and a lifetime of trauma. However, he’d become skilled especially in the last year at anchoring himself in reality. Fred was alive. Susan was safe. Sev was an arse.
These truths allowed him to ease himself back to consciousness, escape the fake horrors, his horcrux and past thrust upon him while he slept.
However, when Harry found himself in an open field with his dead doppelgänger, Trent, these tricks failed him.
“Hiya Harry!”
Harry didn’t know how you respond to the kid that you had watched be eaten by flames, luckily Trent didn’t seem to be expecting a response.
”I am so excited to see you! A note popped up explaining I’d get to see you, and we’d get to go to the past! I had plans today to hang with your dad and learn the Wronski feint. He said he taught himself from watching your practices! But this, being with you, is much cooler!” Trent took a breath and suddenly looked much younger then he was as he turned back and looked plaintively at Harry “The note said that if I didn’t do a good job, you wouldn’t see me again. So I don’t know exactly what I am supposed to do but I hope you like it, so I can see you again.” Through this whole monologue Trent was leading Harry to a clearing, he turned at this point and looked earnestly back at Harry. ”I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too Trent.” Harry smiled, and ruffled Trent’s hair, and pretended to notice that Trent leaned into the touch. “I’m sure you’ll do a great job!”
Trent brightened at this reassurance. “The note said we just have to stand here and then” as he spoke a white orb floated from the sky and consumed them both.
Instead of moving, they found that the light had shifted and instead of the sun being low in the sky, it was high overhead.
“I think we’re supposed to follow the orby thing.” Trent chirped and again led the way to a house. “Ohh this is Reggie’s house, Sirius’ brother you’ll like him.”
Apparently Trent was close with Reggie because he walked straight in without knocking, instead he announced “Hey everyone, look who I brought.”
When no one called out, Trent led them farther into the house to a living room, where various people were crowded around a television. In addition to whom Harry assumed was Regulus, were two red-headed twins that must be Gideon and Fabian Weasley. They were all lounging on the couch, eyes glued to the screen. His parent, were cuddled in a love seat adjacent to the couch.
Trent moved in front of the television and again said “Guys, you'll never guess who's behind you!” It took a second for Trent to realize after again no one acknowledged their presence that perhaps he should reference his instruction again.
”Whoops, I missed the part where they mentioned no one would see us. We’re like ghosts….but invisible. I am so thankful I am not a ghost because can you imagine not being able to grasp anything, especially in perpetual puberty.”
Harry ignored that disturbing thought, because there was a greater horror on the screen - which was himself. Harry was watching himself try again and again to get his name into that stupid goblet. Worse than that he saw his thoughts, which were thankfully just jumbles of expletives and half-baked plans, were being narrated as subtitles. Those in the afterlife could see everything, hear everything, every movement, every thought. Harry felt himself turning red, and he turned his attention to Trent who looked unperturbed.
“What are they watching? Oh it's you! That’s my favorite channel too! I love watching you kick arse Harry.” Trent excitedly exclaimed has he moved to be close to Harry.
Harry smiled at Trent’s enthusiasm. It was reassuring at least Trent wasn’t treating Harry any differently. Maybe, if he made it to this afterlife it wouldn’t be so bad. At least he’d have Trent. Worse comes to worse, he could always kidnap Trent and they’d live out a happy eternity together.
Harry now tuned into what Reggie, tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum were discussing.
”You ready to play our favorite game?” Regulus crowed.
”Trent, what’s their favorite game?” Harry asked, he found his hand had found its way into Trent’s hair again.
This was the first time Trent looked abashed, “Um, it's just called, well…don’t be mad at me, because I don’t play it, and your parent call it something different… but its called - ‘What Harry should have done?’”
”What the fuck?” Harry snapped, then saw Trent’s guilty look and tried to reign in his anger.
”It’s um just because you know, they like to throw out suggestions. I think they like to pretend they were a part of the gang and could help you!” Trent looked up and smirked at Harry “I think they’re jealous of me.”
Harry tuned back to the scene unfolding in front of them, when Lily threw a pillow that connected with Regulus’ head.
“We’re not playing that!” Lily said with an exasperated sigh.
”Come on Lils, it will be the best round yet.” Fabian (or was it Gideon pleaded).
“Fine, but I am renaming the game to Let's watch you adult men fail to be as awesome as my son.”
”Sure, sure, okay how are we getting Harry’s name in the cup?” one of the twins quickly agreed.
”Easy” Regulus sat back, his harms outstretched cradling his head, “Find an animal older than 17, and imperious it to drop his name in the goblet.”
”My son is not going to imperious an animal,” James exclaimed as he threw himself at Regulus and pulled him off the couch.
”He wouldn’t be stupid enough to do it in broad daylight in front of Albus fucking Dumbledore.” Lily corrected “Congrats Reggie, you’ve earned a lifetime stay in Azkaban.”
”I would ask a student to toss it in for me, Harry is a popular bloke he should be able to convince-” Harry thought one of the twins coughed “Intimidate” into their hands.
As they were talking the stupid tele was showing Harry and Abbott’s failed attempt.
”Getting someone else to assist wasn’t a bad idea.” Lily mused,she turned to her husband who was still wrestling Regulus “but obviously that was the first thing Albus thought of.”
“Why is he only competent when he’s ruining my kids fun?” James huffed. Harry laughed.
“Oh! Duh! He could use Mavis.” the other twin offered, clearly following Lily’s train of thought.
Before Harry could get offended on Mavis’ behalf, Lily gave that twin a stern look, “He wouldn’t be using anyone, he would be asking Mavis if he minded running an errand.”
The boys looked properly chastised, Harry was excited that at least his mum was on his wavelength.
“I am sure there was a space switching spell I was reading about, I think Hermionie has the book that would also work.” Lily tossed out and eased the tension in the room.
“Do you think Granger knows she has the power to end all of this?” James laughed and picked himself off of Regulus who as still sprawled on the floor to join his wife again.
“I believe she told Theo that she would teach it to Harry if he asked, but if he didn’t there is no need to implicate her in any of this idiocy.” Lily chimed in. “Such a smart girl, I’m happy she’ll be marrying into Harry’s family.”
The grouped watched as a disgruntled past-Harry stalked out of the great hall, dragging Fred along. Luckily when this Harry started sucking Fred’s face, Harry felt himself fading away. He would love to hang on and watch his mum and dad defend him, but he really didn’t want to hear their thoughts on his kissing technique.
Trent’s enthusiastic wave and “Bye Harry, I hope to see you not soon…but you know, again” was the last thing Harry experienced before being thrust into a new reality.
Christmas Present
Apparently he wasn’t done. He found himself sprawled out in another damn field.
“What the fuck Harry?” Susan advanced on him, before stopping herself before she ran into sprawled form. “Why am I here?” her smooth, silver hand was offered to him.
Harry was working on a theory but maybe it might be best to keep it to himself. Even for him the explanation ‘we’ve been sucked into a muggle Christmas tale’ was a bit far fetched. He knew Susan would believe him but what if he didn’t belive him?
Harry grabbed her hand and smirked at the inhuman amount of force she was able to leverage to pull him to his feet.
“What the fuck are we supposed to-” Susan was cut off by a piece of paper that floated down right into her hand.
Take Harry to eavesdrop on his cousin’s house. Stop him from fucking up Christmas. 51.2623° N, 0.4673° W
To Susan’s credit, only her eyebrows betrayed her alarm. She passed over the paper to Harry while taking his arm.
“Well looks like we’re going to stalk a Dursley to stop you from being a dipshit.”
They spun on the spot, and Susan started leading him to a small brick townhouse nestled amongst others that looked identical. The one that Susan was dragging him towards stood out because it had green Christmas lights outlining the doors and windows.
Harry thought this was too whimsical for a Dursley to have thought to hang. Perhaps the woman Dudley knocked up was an ‘impractical type.’ That thought made Harry smirk, yet those green lights matched too closely to the hue of Harry’s eyes for his comfort.
“Give me your cloak.” Susan snapped, pulling Harry from his musings.
“Why fucking bother?” Harry retorted, “They’re not home anyway.”
”And why do you know that Harry James?”
Fuck.
”Well, Theo and I may have gotten a pint with Dudley after we met up at the shops a couple weeks back.”
“Well the paper said to take your arse here so that’s where we’re going.” Susan swung the door open and gestured for Harry to go first.
They peered around a room that was strikingly similar to the elder Dursley’s house in cleanliness. A simple house, it was quite small really. A single floor, where it looked like there were two bedrooms, one he presumed was Dudums and his wife (Mary was it?), he had no interest in seeing this. He was instead drawn the room across the hall. It was painted in a light green, there were stick-on stars that adorned the ceiling. It gave the room a sense of warmth the other rooms lacked. Harry was drawn to the crib, that was neatly made, with a small teddy bear on top.
This caused Harry to stop in his tracks.
This bear wasn’t pristine and crisp like the other toys and books in the room. It was missing it right eye, and its left year was chewed. Though clean, the worn nature of the fur showed it age. Seventeen years old.
Harry stopped inching towards the bed when he spotted his former companion. The one he had to hide under the floorboards to protect from the Dursleys. Dudley must have found it, and taken care to at least attempt to restore it and then he had gone and gifted this bear tainted with magic to his daughter.
The confidence his plan wavered. Susan stood with her arms crossed in the doorway, impassive face wasn’t helping Harry process these new waves of emotion.
No it had to Dudley, it was because of Annabelle that -
Before Harry could finish that thought, another piece of paper floated down into Susan’s metal hand.
“Well it looks like you didn’t get what you needed from this place, let’s go Potter. We get to apparate to a new location.”
Susan lifted her arm towards Harry, and reluctantly Harry latched on and allowed him to be dropped into yet another field. Did this Christmas fates want him to get his exercise on top of whatever bullshit lesson they were going to force him to digest. Good fuckn’ luck, he was Harry Potter and he was getting tired being at the mercy of these fates.
”We’re not doing another of these Susan.”
“Oh yes we are. That paper said I was imbued with the power of the ghost of Christmas Present, and I don’t know what means, but I am pretty kick you arse right now. The note said I could lose you. That you were going to desiccate you’re immortality, whatever that means. So, if I have to force you walk through another suburb, I’ll fucking do it.”
”Fine.” Harry huffed and started following Susan, who was walking to another suburban house. “Where are we anyway?”
”Majorca”
”Brill,” Harry sighed. Well this would just make the remorse part of his plan easier.
”You want my cloak now Susan?” Harry snark.
”Don’t need it.” Susan flipped her hair. “I can use my Christmas powers to make us invisible.” She smirked back at Harry and he rolled his eyes. It was a good thing he was the most powerful in the group, Susan was proving that everyone else would be insufferable if they had his level of power.
They opened the door, and walked into a woman holding Dudley as they sat by the fireplace. Dudley was leaning heavily into this woman, as he let a red and gold candle.
Dudley had clearly been crying, his wife was holding him close and carding her hand through this blonde hair.
”I’m sorry,” Dudley sniffled, and lit the last candle. “I don’t now why I’m so emotional. This should be easier than last year, I mean I know he’s alive. He said he’s doing good.”
“You always get emotional Duds” his wife laughed, “I think this is better than last year. Honoring the cousin you thought your parents murdered, and you treated like shit doesn’t magically-” (Harry thought she caught Mary wink at Dudley) “go away”.
“Yeah” Dudley agreed, and nuzzled himself into his wife’s neck. “It was silly of me to think I could celebrate Yule without turning into a sobbing mess. I’m just so sorry.”
”I know sweetheart. You were a child when it happened, and now you’re a man who has done the work, and has a whole family of people that will bear you guilt, and support you as you atone for sins you couldn’t understand you were making.”
Harry again found himself rooted to his spot.
Dudley was still guilty. Honestly remorseful, and to have found a wife that supportive there was no way he was as big of an arse as before. It was clear he hadn’t hidden the horrors that both of them had lived. He hadn’t painted himself as a victim. While Harry kept waiting for a feeling of disgust to well in him at how weak Dudley appeared, he instead found only felt a warmth raiding from this chest.
More than that Dudley was celebrating a Wiccan holiday in honor of him.
Harry looked over to Susan, who had a fond smile.
“Well, it looks like I did my job. Don’t kill this next ghost”
Harry stepped to grab her, but Susan faded from his grasp.
Christmas Future
Fuck. Harry didn’t like where this was going. The past was pleasant, the present disquieting, but Harry knew this next visitor was going to suck the most.
Harry felt like he was dropped unceremoniously into another fucking field but he couldn’t see anything to confirm.
“Who the fuck is that?” a voice hissed.
“Who the fuck are you? Pretty rude welcome mate.” Harry squinted his eyes to get a visual of this dick of ‘Christmas future.’
Harry felt two hands grasp his wrist. Damn, so this ghost wasn’t anyone who knew Harry. No one would dare (or care too much) to breach Harry’s personal space without his permission.
“Since I'm feeling the Christmas spirit, I'm going to give you three seconds to get your hands off of me.” Harry snarled.
The hands squeezed harder for a moment, then retreated which Harry was thankful. He wasn't sure if magic worked in this black hole, and he didn't think stabbing was a good way to prove he had learned any lessons.
As Harry was contemplating a bombarda in a random direction and hoping for the best, a small orb of light slowly lowered until it was hovering between Harry and his now illuminated host.
Harry has seen this boy before.
Harry has slain this boy before.
The same tall, black haired boy who had last been cackling at Harry and Ginny's demise, now was staring directly at Harry. He was hunched over so much that Harry could look him directly in his deranged eyes without lifting his chin. Harry noticed the angry bite marks littering his arms.
Time seemed to stand still.
In his peripheral vision he could see that they were encased in a clear cube, the boundaries were just inside this small circle of light, with nothing else present in this prison.
Harry thought he heard a thump on the wall on the outside of the cube directly behind Riddle. A body must have struck the wall, and slid to the ground. A muffled sound of pain followed quickly after, echoing within their own prison.
Harry leveraged a withering glare at the known counterpart and slowly shifted toward the noise. Luckily Riddle looked cowed enough that Harry was able to shift his gaze to the being huddled in the fetal position. This boy had his teeth sunk into his arm. His dark eyes met Harry’s but it was like he was staring through him.
Harry knew these eyes.
They matched Riddle’s.
His arm was now had a steady trickle of blood, which drew Harry’s attention to the words carved on his forearm. “Trust Others.”
Harry quickly scanned the similarly marred arm of his Riddle, who was now crumpled and in the corner. It seems his brief lucidity was spent on accosting Harry. Rude.
“All Lapses Lament”
Harry quickly went to the bounds of the prison and collected the other phrases from the similarly suffering Tom’s. The one below them looked so scared, and held his wrist close to his chest. He looked like Harry, he was just thrust into this disquieting reality. Harry had to pretend he was talking to Rosie in order to coax the phrase from him. He was lucky the Riddle above them passed out with this arm splayed to where Harry could read.
It didn’t take a Tom to solve this riddle. It was obvious the first letter of each word became
“To all be freed, apologize sincerely”
Harry surveyed the Riddles, none looked to be in a state to do anything sincerely, however, maybe each had periodic states of coherency. As he found himself wishing to a piece of paper to scribble his findings one appeared, with a muggle pen.
Harry quickly wrote the phrase, and cautiously approached the boy who five years ago was the epitome of everything Harry thought he wanted to be, untouchable, independent, strong. He didn’t know if any much less all of these Tom Riddles were capable of remorse. As he slid the clue into his Riddle's pocket, disturbed when the boy didn’t acknowledge his presence, he found himself wishing for their salvation.
When Harry stood up, he felt dizzy. The hollowness of this prison started to consume him, visions of himself and his planned counterpart being thrust into the same fate was the last thought he had as the black pulled him under.
Christmas Day
Harry woke with a gasp, and immediately started shaking Fred.
”I need you to get the gang here yesterday.” To Fred’s credit he didn’t ask any questions, just have Harry a gooey look before casting his patronus.
“Happy Christmas, get your arse out of bed. My husband requests your presence yesterday.”
As Fred turned to kiss Harry, the first pops of apparition could be heard in the yard.
Within a half an hour, the gang was fully gathered around the kitchen table, even little Rosie was in a peppermint striped onesie sleeping through the cacophony of chaos around her.
Harry stood, and everyone quieted and focused on him.
“Happy Christmas, I am a horcrux for tiny Tim, and if we don’t think of anything Severus will have to kill me but not before I kill my cousin and make a horocrux so I can come back to be minister of magic.”
There was a moment of silence before Ron spoke.
”Bloody hell.”
Then all hell broke lose. Most of it had the sentiment of “What the hell Harry?” “You’re not making a horcrux, Harry.” “You’re an idiot Potter what happened to not telling anyone.”
“All right.” Harry raised his voice above the swell of conversation, and once again found himself the center of attention.. “I know its fucked up, but I am not leaving Rosie with just Theo. The girl needs a role model. So I’ve given you plan B, I had a series of visitors last night try to convince me my plan A should be sharing this problem with gang…er… my family and letting you all think of something better. I would love for these kidnappers to be wrong, so by all means keep asking stupid questions, and Theo and I will sneak out next week and complete plan B.”
“Okay no problem mate, we can solve this.” Ron rallied, “We just have to be strategic, and lucky for you, I’m here.” He directed that over Harry’s head towards Draco.
“Well, in that case Ron can you get the breakfast from the kitchen, while the rest of us strategize.” Draco retorted, and then ran behind Tonk’s to stand behind Ron.
“I’m sorry how many times have you gotten your arse handed to you in chess? How much money have you lost to bets. How many lad-” Ron was cut off when Draco’s fingers dug into his armpits.
“Draco you’re going to wake Rosie will you just shut-“ Theo hissed. Draco was undeterred and kept causing Ron to squeal, tears of laughter started to pour down his cheek.
“Boys if you’re not going to behave, I’m sure I can make you.” Susan stood across them with her wand raised.
Draco directed his attention to her, without ceasing to tickle Ron. ”What do you think you could -”
“Facti Ferret” she incanted, and the blonde transformed into an albino ferret.
Harry watched amused as Draco frantically ran around the kitchen table.
Susan smiled sweetly. “You were saying Draco?”
Harry waiting for Draco to transform back into an equally squeaky boy, “Come on Draco, you’re holding up an important Christmas meeting.”
Draco aimed his beady eyes with Harry, and seemed to pout at him.
“Can you not pop yourself back?” Harry grinned. “Do you need help?” Harry raised his hand to assist his friend.
”Wait!” Theo interrupted, handing off Rosie to Luna. “Is there any evidence of a wizard being able to un-transfigure themselves?”
Everyone turned from Theo’s outburst and looked expectantly at Harry. He gave the crowd an unimpressed glare. This was not shaping up to be the cozy Christmas he envisioned.
”Fine, we’ll try it. But only Sev can transfigure me, and I’m not turning into a fucking ferret.” From Severus’ smug look, Harry figured this could count as his Christmas present to his adopted father.
”I think a turtle would be a great option.” Luna volunteered “Long lifespan, slow, not the most intelligent of creatures, has a gentle spirit. Perhaps it would mellow Tiny Tim out.”
“We could feed it lettuce laced with philosopher stone, and keep him as an immortal pet.” Ron supplied. “Take that Draco, strategic master.”
Draco huffed, and went to nip Ron. Harry thought this would be the perfect opportunity to transform Draco back into human form. He came back to himself when his teeth were on the tip of Ron’s nose. Draco was bright red, and jumped back towards Luna.
”I didn’t mean, Luna I was just-” Draco rushed towards her.
“Figuring out the perfect way to avoid forcing Harry to kill his cousins.” she interrupted him, with a quick peck.
Everyone, even Severus seemed to crack a smile.
“Okay so the plan is to have Sev transform Harry into a turtle, give him a couple hours to transform back, and if he can’t we’ve got a Plan A. Operation make the dark lord a pet that we can keep until Harry passes naturally.”
“Wait!” Theo again exclaimed before racing to his room. The rest of them could hear thumping, a crash, then a flash of light - before he came flying down the stairs with a large jar in his hand.
“Harry wasn’t the only one with a weird dream. Hermione,” Theo sucked in a breath, Harry moved to put a comforting hand on Theo’s wrist that was clutching the jar. “Showed me this spell to remove magic from a small finite space. At first I was disappointed because she kept doing this spell over and over. It seemed stupid, like why would I want to remove magic from a square foot, but I wonder if…”
”Your genius wife is saving us again,” Neville smiled, and gave Theo reassuring pat on the back.
“So it looks like you’re spending Christmas in a jar Harry!!” Fred cheered. Harry looked around the room, at the gang he formed person by person, his family.
“Do you want me to become a turtle too, and we can see if reptile sex is better?” Fred whispered in Harry’s ear. Blaise who was standing close, wrinkled his nose.
“I think it would be a better incentive to say Potter you get laid on Christmas if you can get out of the jar before dinner.”
Susan stood and clapped her hands. ”Great we have a solid Plan A, Ron and Draco you get some grass and food for the jar. Severus and I will monitor Harry, and the rest of you all can work on the Christmas feast we’ll enjoy when this works.”
Susan's description of the future was exactly how this perfect day went. Harry's day ended with yay-you’re-not-going-to-die sex which was infinitely better then you-untransfigured-yourself-but-now-have-to-kill-your-cousin coitus.