Work Text:
The one- and only- thing Hua Cheng could appreciate about He Xuan bar was the fine alcohol. As for everything else… He supposed it didn’t matter that much to him so long as the establishment brought in profits, and while it partly displeased him, it was indeed one of the more profitable businesses Hua Cheng had invested in in their town.
Nonetheless, Hua Cheng still showed up every Friday evening for “inspection” if only to watch his associate try to hide his displeasure at having to politely serve Hua Cheng drinks until the latter got bored and left for his apartment. The perks of being a landlord one might say except that even this initially entertaining bit of pettiness was starting to get old and dull. As a man who’d spent the past fifteen years waiting for his beloved to return though, Hua Cheng was ultimately willing to use almost anything to distract himself from that fact.
So, unfortunately for He Xuan, he would have to bear with it for a couple of months more- Hua Cheng wasn’t totally a monster after all. He swirled the wine in his glass around, watching detachedly as it caught the subdued light of the bar in blood red whirlpools. It was his third glass, yet he didn’t feel tipsy- or perhaps he was simply too lost in his thoughts to notice.
The story behind it all wasn’t anything too complicated: a mother who’d passed away too early for Hua Cheng to remember much beyond the echoes of her affection, an abusive shitstain of a father who cared more for other women and gambling than his own family, a stepmother who took out her anger at having remarried to the wrong man on his own son and two older step brothers that were without a doubt raised in the image of that vindictive shrew. Really, it was as if fate itself had decided to pile every possible misery onto Hua Cheng before the boy even had the chance to learn that life could be filled with so much more than that.
In spite of all of that though, Hua Cheng would still claim himself to be a very lucky person. After all, when he was ten and trying to find scraps of food on the streets after he’d ran away from home for the n’th time, he got to meet Xie Lian. Xie Lian was everything that Hua Cheng didn’t even know he could dream of back then- bright, kind to a fault, a little naive in his idealism at just twelve, but most importantly, he was someone willing to see Hua Cheng as a person. Willing to smile at him as he reached out a reassuring hand despite Hua Cheng’s initial aggressive suspicion and even willing to plead for him so that the Xie’s would take Hua Cheng away from that terrible household.
To that day, Hua Cheng had yet to fully understand how a twelve year old boy managed to convince his parents to take him in… But he had done it, and as a consequence, Hua Cheng got to spend six wonderful years in the Xie household as a protege. Those days which often felt too good to be true still felt so vividly warm in his memories… More often than not because of Xie Lian.
But perhaps because Hua Cheng was truly as cursed as others used to claim, his life’s misery ended up becoming Xie Lian’s. Not long after Xie Lian’s 18th birthday, his parents died in a tragic car crash caused by a drunken driver. From that point on, everything spiraled downwards. Barely a few days after the funeral, relatives came knocking, crying crocodile tears and showing fake concern. At first, their attempts to get their hands onto the Xie’s construction business had been subtle enough but as the weeks went on, they became relentless, downright aggressive at times. Xie Lian couldn’t take both that and his grief so he signed over his rights to his uncle.
In the months following, he withdrew into himself further and further despite Hua Cheng’s best efforts to help him cope, until he’d become unrecognisable to all of his friends. One by one, they distanced themselves from Xie Lian, and the grieving young man simply let them.
“It’s fine San Lang. With graduation this year, they have their own future to focus on.” He’d say every time Hua Cheng called them out for making shitty excuses to avoid Xie Lian.
Fine, if that trash wants to go, so be it. He’d thought to himself, resolving to remain by Xie Lian’s side for the rest of their lives. But Hua Cheng was still a child himself at the time so there wasn’t much he could ultimately do for Xie Lian. In the end, Xie Lian became distant even towards him, speaking the bare minimum and offering empty smiles that didn’t reach his eyes anymore. It wasn’t exactly a surprise when, not a full year after his parents’ death, Xie Lian decided to leave town.
Hua Cheng had accompanied Xie Lian to the bus station, pointlessly trying to hold onto as much of their time together as he could. He watched Xie Lian step onto the bus, barely a backpack and a small handbag to carry his meagre belongings, with hands fisted into a white knuckle grip at his sides. For a final time, he asked.
“Gege, can’t I just come with you?” But just like the one hundred or so times he’d asked before, the answer remained the same.
“San Lang still needs to finish high school, and I need to figure out some things on my own.” Spoken on a tone of repeated empty platitudes.
Once Xie Lian’s mind was set on something, it was nearly impossible to change it. Hua Cheng had bet on that nearly and lost. Ultimately, he steeled himself to ask one final question- one he hadn’t dared before.
“Will you come back gege?”
Xie Lian paused then. He didn’t answer Hua Cheng for so long that the latter began fearing he might not say anything at all… Just as Hua Cheng was about to start fumbling to take back what he’d said Xie Lian finally glanced at him over his shoulder.
“I will. I’ll see you again someday, San Lang.” That one glance had held more emotion than Xie Lian had shown for the past half year, and even though it looked closer to regret than anything else, Hua Cheng clung to it and to those words for dear life.
The following fifteen years passed both extremely fast, and excruciatingly slow. Hua Cheng graduated, sought out a business diploma and used it to take over half of the town. When he took back the Xie’s construction firm from Xie Lian’s uncle, five years had passed since he’d last seen his beloved, so even though he felt satisfaction as he watched that bastard curse him while he was being dragged out of the firm’s office, it was very short-lived. Hua Cheng would only really feel good about it once he signed ownership back to Xie Lian.
But ten more years went by afterwards, and still there was no sign of him. Most would’ve lost all hope, let alone interest… Not Hua Cheng though. He’d only ever held one person in his heart. Regardless of everything else, he knew himself well enough to know that that would never change.
Somewhere at the eleven year mark, he almost gave into his strong urge to go and seek Xie Lian out instead. What stopped him then, just like before, was the fear that if by chance Xie Lian returned when Hua Cheng was out of town, he might never again get to see Xie Lian. Besides, even if he were to look for him, Hua Cheng had nothing to go by. Xie Lian’s old phone number had gone out of service two months after he’d left and he had no social media presence whatsoever. Hua Cheng couldn’t even be sure if he’d stayed in the country or moved abroad in the meantime…
He was however certain that Xie Lian would come back- he’d never broken a promise to Hua Cheng before. Because of that belief, Hua Cheng continued to live in a town where he despised nearly everyone around and where the echoes of past happy memories became bittersweet medicine he had to swallow on a daily basis.
It was particularly harder to bear the thought of fifteen years of separation on nights like that one, where past and present felt like they blended together in a world blurred around its edges-
Someone tapped him on the shoulder, effectively snapping him out of his morose thoughts.
Perhaps if Hua Cheng hadn’t been so caught up in this familiar melancholy he might’ve heard how this person called out “San Lang” to him before touching him. He would’ve known then it could only be a certain someone, but unfortunately for him, he missed both the familiar endearment and the hesitant voice of this other man. Instead, Hua Cheng came to the conclusion that yet another fool was about to try to make a move on him- the third one that evening- so before he even turned to give whoever had invaded his private moping time a withering glare, he was already speaking his regular line-
“I’m married. Scram.”
When he was faced with a wide-eyed Xie Lian for the first time in almost two decades, Hua Cheng’s first thought was that he really wished he could just bash his useless head in.
Xie Lian himself wasn’t faring much better than Hua Cheng- he really wished that either the ground would open up and swallow him whole or that he might be lucky enough to drop dead within the next five seconds. Maybe he could still salvage this by claiming he’d mistaken Hua Cheng for someone else- the man hadn’t seemed like he’d heard him calling out after all- and make a run for the door.
But Hua Cheng deserved more than that, more than the silence Xie Lian had given him for fifteen years and certainly more than his continued cowardice… So even though it hurt to plaster on a convincing enough smile- he’d gotten so much better at that- and push out the words, he did it for Hua Cheng’s sake.
“I see, so San Lang got married then. Congratulations!” He ignored the part where Hua Cheng had told him to scram, or his fierce glare. Xie Lian would leave if that’s what Hua Cheng ultimately asked of him, but selfishly, he wanted to at least get a proper look at how the boy in his fondest memories had changed into a man… And oh, what a man.
A shame Xie Lian’s words made his handsome features twist even further than they already had.
“What? That’s not- gege I…” Hua Cheng trailed off, looking both displeased and completely at a loss.
Something inside Xie Lian shriveled up and turned to dust- if it was even possible for his heart to shrink anymore than it had over the years- Hua Cheng didn’t even want to exchange pleasantries with him. Xie Lian supposed that was fair, all things considered, but fair didn’t make it hurt any less. He took a deep breath.
“I won’t take up any more of your time. It was lovely seeing you again, San Lang.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Xie Lian turned around to head for the exit, all the while chastising himself for choosing cowardice again this quickly. What else could he say or do though? Maybe if he gave Hua Cheng a few days and sought him out again then…
Xie Lian barely managed one step before Hua Cheng caught him by the wrist in a grip that bordered on bruising. One might even call it desperate.
“I’m sorry for that gege, I was really caught in my thoughts. I didn’t think it would be you. It’s been… a while.” Hua Cheng’s mismatched eyes were still filled with disbelief, though this time there was an undercurrent of awe beneath it which gave Xie Lian the courage to smile- a little awkwardly, a little painfully, but sincerely.
“It has, hasn’t it?”
Hua Cheng watched him for five silent beats, all the while seemingly making up his mind on something.
“I was just thinking it’s time for me to leave anyway. Gege, would you come to my place so that we could talk for a little? I’ll drive you to your accommodation afterwards.” Xie Lian couldn’t decide whether he wanted to melt from relief, or jump up with joy. Though he knew he had a lot of difficult things to explain to the one in front of him, the fact that Hua Cheng was willing to talk to him already felt like a blessing.
“I’d love that.”
The drive to Hua Cheng’s apartment was neither short nor long. It was definitely awkward though. Fifteen years was a very long time to spend apart from someone- how would one even begin to start prying into them? Should they talk about small, everyday things before moving on to deeper matters? Should they jump straight to the point? Would that be too sudden or would avoiding it be worse? Neither Xie Lian nor Hua Cheng seemed to have an answer to this dilemma.
So Xie Lian had chosen to stay silent unless spoken to- unfortunately, that combined with Hua Cheng’s equally silent presence next to him gave him time to delve into thoughts of the past.
The years had soothed and dulled much of what he’d felt back then, but when Xie Lian’s parents died, he too had become a breathing corpse. When his relatives came to pressure him over the family property and business, he’d tried to hold onto them, if not for his sake then at least for Hua Cheng’s, but it was ultimately too much for him. On the day he signed those papers with his uncle, the only thing that somewhat soothed the shame he’d felt was the fact that he’d managed to include a clause so that Hua Cheng wouldn’t be kicked out of the house until he reached legal adulthood.
He somehow managed to trudge through his own final year of high school, all while pretending that his friends’ treatment didn’t add more salt to his festering wounds. The only respite Xie Lian had back then was Hua Cheng… At least until guilt started to eat at him. Xie Lian could see how hard Hua Cheng tried to bring him back a sense of peace and he’d wished for nothing more than to be able to recover.
But Xie Lian just couldn’t. Everywhere he went, he was haunted by memories of his parents. When he came home from school, before opening the door, there was a moment where he still believed that his mother would be there to welcome him with a plate of baozi or that his father would soon come to pick him up so that Xie Lian could help at the firm to learn about the place better. It didn’t help that even until the day he left, Xie Lian couldn’t bring himself to box up, throw away or donate any of his parents belongings. He’d left everything untouched, and so had Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng who, despite having only negative feelings towards his own parents, somehow understood perfectly what Xie Lian needed in those moments… Ironically, it was this understanding that ended up being the catalyst for guilt, and once the guilt came, it became nearly impossible to face Hua Cheng.
Xie Lian would end up caught in feeling like he was only holding Hua Cheng back with his own grief, that the boy was sacrificing his own youth just to keep Xie Lian company in his misery, and then feeling that he shouldn’t think like that- that avoiding Hua Cheng was visibly hurting him and that Xie Lian should treat him better. Swinging between such contradicting emotions almost on a daily basis, all the while still hurting from his loss greatly drained whatever was left of Xie Lian.
He’d tried to tell himself that it would go away eventually, that it was just an unbearably hard period in his life and that once he got through, things could return to some semblance of normalcy… Until the first anniversary of his parents’ deaths was nearing and Xie Lian could no longer deny the fact that none of that would come, not if he stayed there at least.
Leaving was both the hardest and easiest decision he’d made in his entire life. Easy because he felt like there wasn’t much good left in his hometown for him, hard because the one good thing there was, Xie Lian could under no circumstance take with him. Every time Hua Cheng had asked if he couldn’t come with him, the words “Please do San Lang, I really don’t want to go without you.” sat at the tip of his tongue and every time Xie Lian held them back. Even brushing over his messy feelings, to leave would only make it harder for Hua Cheng to build himself a stable future- Xie Lian would never get in the way of that, no matter how much he dreaded the thought of being alone.
But then Hua Cheng had asked him if he’d return… Xie Lian could’ve never said no to that. In all fairness, there wasn’t so much that he wished to figure out about himself, as there were things he wanted to run from. When he’d said someday he thought it wouldn’t take that long- a year or two, three at most, yet life always had a way of challenging people’s assumptions.
By the time returning even crossed his mind, seven years had already gone by. He found himself with a bus ticket in hand, about to get on the one that would take him back home after all that time… And then Xie Lian just turned around, leaving the bus station after giving away his ticket to an older lady who hadn't managed to secure one herself.
Year after year he repeated the same ritual, telling himself that it just wasn't the right time, that he still didn't feel ready to go back. It wasn't until last week that Xie Lian finally grew tired of dancing around the truth- the thing that always stopped him was the fact that he didn't know how to face Hua Cheng after the way he'd left and kept silent for so long.
Wasn't that just another form of guilt? Xie Lian was done letting it shape his life or keep him away from someone he missed far more than he ever thought he would.
Xie Lian had nothing beyond his gut feeling telling him that he'd still find Hua Cheng there, that the other hadn't moved away over the years, but that was enough for him. Xie Lian was even willing to seek out his uncle if need be to inquire about Hua Cheng's whereabouts.
In the end, he wouldn't have to. He heard some young women at the grocery store talking about He’s Bar and Lounge and when he confirmed with them that the owner was indeed He Xuan, Hua Cheng's former classmate and “nuisance that keeps stealing my food and annoying me gege”, Xie Lian knew it would be a good place to start asking. He hadn't expected he'd just run into Hua Cheng sitting on his own at the bar.
Xie Lian stood rooted on the spot simply staring at Hua Cheng's profile until he realised that other patrons were beginning to notice him. He took a deep breath then started walking towards the other… And now he found himself sitting on Hua Cheng's couch, in his living room, while he waited for Hua Cheng to prepare a pot of tea for the two of them.
It was all very surreal- Xie Lian was almost convinced his alarm would go off soon and wake him from this dream, but instead of that, Hua Cheng came from the kitchen carrying a tray that held a steaming pot, two ceramic cups and a tea pet** Xie Lian remembered buying on a whim one summer because he found the chubby one-eyed fox to be adorably charming.
Before he could even begin to make sense of the pang in his chest, Hua Cheng set the tray down on the table in front of him. Xie Lian was then met with the pleasant smell of osmanthus- his favourite tea. The speech he'd carefully crafted over years of sleepless nights dissipated from his mind like seafoam on the waves.
“I'm so sorry for everything San Lang!” His blurted apology rang loudly in the otherwise silent apartment. He'd already messed up- he hadn't even looked at Hua Cheng as he said it, his eyes still on the tea pet.
“Gege…” He heard Hua Cheng sigh before the other moved the low table aside so that he could kneel in front of Xie Lian. “Won't you look at me?” He asked gently.
When Xie Lian did, he could practically read the phrase “There's nothing you need to apologise for” on Hua Cheng's face. He'd always been like that- letting Xie Lian do whatever he wanted, never getting upset with him even when Xie Lian got them into trouble… But this was no longer about childish things like who could climb higher up a tree or helping Xie Lian keep the strays he'd pick up a secret from his parents.
“I know what you want to say San Lang, but I need to do this, and even if you don't want it, I still think you deserve an apology. Fifteen years ago, you were the only person who stood by my side when I lost my parents or later on, when I could barely function from the grief and gave up everything to my uncle. I told myself that the only thing I could really do for you at that point was to leave. That way you wouldn't have to spend those precious years stuck with me and my misery-”
Xie Lian raised a hand to stop Hua Cheng from speaking once he saw the other frown at his words. Taking a deep breath, he continued. “But truthfully, it was just my own sense of guilt speaking. I couldn't bear to hurt you anymore, so even though I knew how much you wanted to come with me, and even though I really wanted it myself, I still left San Lang behind. I didn't call or write either because I couldn't bring myself to face you.” His eyes were starting to sting a little, so he shifted his gaze to where his hands gripped his knees tightly, as if that could hold him together.
“But I really missed you! Every day I… I’d see something new, something interesting or just something silly and you'd always be the first person I wanted to show it to. No matter how much time passed, I'd still find myself wondering if San Lang was doing okay. There were so many times I almost got on the bus before I lost my courage-” By that point, his grip was so tight that Xie Lian was sure he'd see the imprints of his fingers around his knees if he were to lift up his pant legs.
“When you asked me to come here and talk, I was so relieved and happy that you wanted to… Even before that, I was happy just to see that you were still in this town despite how much time had passed. I really… I still…” love you so much. Ah, but Xie Lian hadn't dared confess his adolescentine crush back then and once his parents were gone, all thoughts of romance completely disappeared from his mind. Over the years that followed, he found that those feelings had endured nonetheless. Whether through heart wrenching grief, crushing guilt, or self imposed separation, those buds of youthful affection ended up blooming into fully fledged love before he even knew it. But ultimately, Hua Cheng was bound to remain Xie Lian's teenage dream-
Xie Lian’s soul nearly left his body when a pair of large hands settled over his own, enveloping them- so warm. He almost bit his tongue trying to hold back any undignified sound he might make.
“You really missed me that much? Do you mean it, gege?”
Xie Lian squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, still unable to find his voice.
“Then all is forgiven.”
“What? That's not-“ Xie Lian's words died on his tongue when he saw how happy Hua Cheng looked. His smile was so broad that his cheeks must hurt and his eyes quite literally sparkled. “San Lang…” Xie Lian said a little helplessly. He could never really argue with that face, not back then, and certainly not now in the present.
Hua Cheng schooled his features back into a calm mien all the while his thumbs started drawing soothing circles on the inner sides of Xie Lian's knees. Whether he did that consciously, Xie Lian couldn't say.
“Gege, back then there were some days when you looked so lifeless that I feared I might blink and find you gone the next moment. Deep down I’d always known staying here would only drive you further into your depression, but I was young and naive, so I told myself that if I tried hard enough I could make it better-”
“You did though! Nothing could've really gotten me out of it, but San Lang, you were the only thing that helped me keep it together during those days. I-” Hua Cheng squeezed his hands over Xie Lian's, effectively shutting him up.
“The point is- I understand why you had to go, why you couldn't take me with you and why it was fifteen years before you came back. I was never upset with gege because of that, I only hoped that you were doing well.”
If Xie Lian’s heart had been in trouble back then, it was a lost cause now. More than anything, he wanted to lean forward and… Xie Lian shot to his feet at such a speed that he nearly knocked Hua Cheng over. What the hell was he thinking?! What the hell was he doing? It was almost ten in the evening and he was all alone in there with Hua Cheng who had a spouse… Perhaps if Xie Lian had been less overwhelmed by, well, everything, he might’ve come to realise that it was generally odd for a married man to be alone at the bar at such an hour. Nevermind the fact that Hua Cheng’s apartment did not seem to carry anyone else’s traces but his own. Alas, Xie Lian was in no state of mind to access such reasonable thoughts.
“It was alright. I did just fine. I’ll tell you about tomorrow if you’d like to meet again. I should go now though, it’s getting late and I wouldn’t want to bother San Lang and your spouse.” Xie Lian pushed out the words in one single breath, leaving him a little lightheaded. By the time he pivoted on his leg to make a run for the apartment door, Hua Cheng had barely managed to stand up himself and process Xie Lian’s words. This time, Xie Lian didn’t even take one step before Hua Cheng caught him by the wrist again.
It was only through years of practising discipline through martial arts that Xie Lian didn’t just yank his hand away.
“Gege, I’m not actually married.” Huh?! Surely, Xie Lian had heard it wrong. It sounded a little too much like something he really wanted to hear. Surely…
“But you said…” When he finally turned to face Hua Cheng, he found him looking away. As a matter of fact, Hua Cheng even seemed a little bit embarrassed.
“That’s just something I started telling people over the years so that they’d leave me alone. They wouldn’t keep pushing it if they thought I was already involved with someone.”
“Ah, I see.” Xie Lian was left a little dumbfounded at first, but the more he thought about it as he watched Hua Cheng trying to hide any trace of embarrassment, the more he felt laughter bubbling up in his chest. In the end he couldn’t keep it in. He started laughing and laughing, until he could feel his stomach start to hurt. When was the last time he’d laughed so much?
“Not that I mind gege enjoying himself, but is it really that funny?” And Xie Lian, still on auto-pilot, heart stitched onto his sleeve…
“Ah, not really, I’m just so relieved.”
… He fucked up a little.
The atmosphere changed instantaneously, all humour and lightheartedness replaced by a mounting sense of inevitability.
“Why?” Hua Cheng dropped any pretense of feeling slighted. He closed in on Xie Lian until it would take just a slightly deeper breath for their chests to touch. Oddly enough, Xie Lian felt calm despite the full blown intensity of Hua Cheng’s eyes fixed on his own. He supposed that in a corner of his being, he’d always known it would come to this sooner or later. He’d just never expected that Hua Cheng might reciprocate, but with the way the other was looking at him…
“Why ask when it’s already obvious?”
Hua Cheng leaned down then, his free hand coming up to cup the left side of Xie Lian’s face. He stopped just a few centimetres away.
“Gege, if you don’t want this, tell me to stop.”
So Xie Lian stood a little taller, wrapping his arm around Hua Cheng’s neck, and brought their lips together.
For the rest of that night, not many other words were spoken, but quite a few firsts came to happen. On the couch, the living room floor, the wall of the hallway towards the bedroom, the bed itself, the shower, and finally back to the bed… Surprisingly it was Hua Cheng who, by the time the dark of the night started to give way to the first rays of the sun, coaxed a half-asleep, barely coherent Xie Lian to finally rest.
They had all the time in the world for more anyways.
Omake:
It was one in the afternoon on a Saturday and he’d yet to even move from bed despite being awake for the past fifteen minutes or so. And why should Hua Cheng go anywhere? Xie Lian was still asleep at his side, using him as a body pillow. He was idly playing with a few strands of Xie Lian’s hair, feeling better rested than he had in years. Really, Hua Cheng was so happy in that moment that he might even agree to He Xuan’s pestering to open up a restaurant on the other side of town… Well, perhaps not, but he would at least tell him maybe instead of outright keep dreaming.
He lost track of time, caught in considering whether it would be better to just stay in with Xie Lian that day, or go out in town. Back then, Xie Lian hadn’t really cared much for staying in, even on the weekends, and Hua Cheng didn’t think that had changed-
“Mmm. San Lang?” Xie Lian’s raspy voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked down at the one in his arms just in time to see Xie Lian blink blearily, trying to wake up. When his gaze met Hua Cheng’s, Xie Lian's entire face brightened with a smile.
“Good morning.”
Hua Cheng raised an eyebrow, just like Xie Lian had used to when he overslept. “Is it still morning though?”
Xie Lian laughed, burying his face back into Hua Cheng’s chest. “I’m sure it’s morning somewhere.”
“Are you not hungry gege?” The only answer he got was a muffled sound that may or may not have been “I’ll eat later.” So Hua Cheng changed tactics.
“Don’t you want to shower then?” Xie Lian clung even tighter to him as if to say no. A grin spread on Hua Cheng’s face.
“Are you sure? Last night I cleaned out most of it, but then we-” As soon as he said that, Xie Lian sprung up from his spot, fully awake now, and covered Hua Cheng’s mouth with his hand.
“Alright, alright, let’s go eat!” His entire face was flushed- Hua Cheng had to fight hard to hold back laughter.
As he watched Xie Lian look around the bedroom for any traces of proper clothing he could put on, Hua Cheng felt something in him unfurl. It wasn’t particularly urgent, but even still, he felt like he had to say it now.
“Say gege, will you help me with something?” Xie Lian immediately turned back to him.
“What is it?”
Hua Cheng finally sat up himself, reaching for one of Xie Lian’s hands.
“Over the years, because I kept showing up on my own despite claiming to be married, people have started to really doubt my words. Will you help me show them otherwise?” He’d expected for Xie Lian to be surprised, but he hadn’t expected tears. Hua Cheng might’ve panicked a little.
He started wiping Xie Lian’s tears almost as soon as they fell. “Gege. Gege what’s wrong? Was it too sudden? Do you not want to? It’s alright if you don’t. It’s my fault gege so please don’t cry-” Xie Lian caught his hand, effectively stopping him in his tracks. Before Hua Cheng could utter more apologies, Xie Lian hugged him by the neck very tightly.
“I’ll help you. Of course I’ll help you San Lang.” He rasped next to Hua Cheng’s ear. Hua Cheng hugged him back just as tight, echoing a line from long ago.
“Gege is truly the best in the whole world.”