Chapter Text
absquatulate
(v.) to leave without saying a proper goodbye .
Mion felt nothing but dread that day, a heavy, lingering weight that made the trial feel unbearable from the very start. Every step toward the truth hurt, but none of it compared to the moment they realized where the evidence was leading. Unraveling it piece by piece only confirmed the worst possibility—that their own friend had committed murder. Knowing it didn’t make it easier. If anything, it made speaking up feel cruel.
Usually Yaitabashi would be the one to bear the burden of outing someone for their crimes, but now he was dead. He was cruelly murdered, the trial room felt almost empty without his voice and intelligence. But now it was someone else's turn to lead the class in the right direction. They had never been good at the whole trial stuff. Normally, they stayed in the background, only speaking when they had to give their alibi or present some relevant evidence. That was all they ever expected of themselves. They never imagined they would have to help lead the discussion, let alone try and help piece together the murder of Matthias in front of everyone.
When Monomoko finally announced it was time to vote, Mion could barely bring themself to actually vote for Youhei. Even when they slowly unpriced the murder he committed, their hand hesitated over the screen. Voting for him felt impossible. Maybe they hesitated out of guilt, or maybe the painful sounds of him crying and apologizing to Matthias? Whatever it was, it took them a long time to finally vote. They couldn’t even look at Youhei, even when he’s about to die, they just can’t bring themself to look at him in such state.
The final verdict came at last. The class was right again—Youhei was the one who killed Matthias. The words settled over the courtroom like a sentence already carried out, because everyone knew what came next.
Youhei was going to be executed. Just like Ouno, Ogura and Ikeda.
It was so painful for Mion to know that one of their closest friends was about to die in a cruel and inhumane manner, just like the others. They shot glares of pity and sorrow at Youhei a few times, and every time they did, he looked horrible. The sounds of him crying and begging and calling himself a coward was enough to make Mion choke on their own tears, but they refused to let the tears come out, not when their best friend is going to die. They didn’t wanna draw attention to themself when someone they were so close with is about to get executed for Christ's sake.
When Monomoko said the line they always said, at the end of every trial, “It’s punishment time.” Mion was doomed. Youhei was finally about to die. His crying, his begging, his self destruction was about to cease, for he was about to die. Mion felt so guilty for this, they were close with Youhei right? So why did it have to be them who laid out the timeline of his crime, who helped seal his fate? It didn’t feel fair, but of course, none of this game ever had been. When Youhei was finally taken away to the execution room, Mion didn’t even notice that they were crying, their crying felt ugly, it was a raw, ugly sound scraping their throat as if it hurt to breathe. They didn’t have the courage to look up. Not even once. Not when the person they loved was leaving for the last time. They were a coward for that. Weren’t they? At least people like Ruka, Matthias—even Tei—had the courage to look at their closest friends in their final moments. Mion couldn’t. And that realization burned almost as much as the guilt itself.
They felt like a coward for that, just like Youhei.
When the execution was finally over after what felt like forever, they were one of the last people to exit the trial room, and that felt so strange to them. Despite wanting to just leave as soon as they could, they just couldn’t bring themself to leave Youhei’s body. Mion stayed in that exact position for what felt like forever, everyone who was still alive was gone, and it was just Monomoko and Mion standing in front of the body of Ninomiya Youhei. Mion felt so guilty for this, they felt so guilty for just standing there, crying their eyes out in front of the deceased body of someone they loved, crying for what felt like forever honestly. They stood there just, crying. They even heard Monomoko starting to say something.
“Isoda Mion, maybe you should go to your room and maybe continue grieving there. Staying here isn’t going to help your grief.”
Since when was the rabbit so empathetic? They just assumed that Monomoko usually didn’t care that much and they would probably just tell Mion to go back to their room, but the thing is, Mion was aware staying near the body of a deceased friend wasn’t going to help that much, everyone knows that, but it would hurt them to leave Youhei for the final time. They managed to let out a few words that were barely hearable through their sobs and hicks.
“I’ll leave in a moment, j-just give me a second, please.”
It would have been a miracle for Monomoko to hear that, considering that Mion could barely hear themself through their crying. Miracles were rare, and Mion knew Monomoko probably couldn’t even hear them. But Monomoko just simply nodded at Mion’s response while they just sat next to them, not saying a single word. It felt oddly comforting for the rabbit of all people to wait next to Mion, they weren’t even pushy or subtly telling them to hurry up or to be on their way. Ugly, shameful, they were all of it at once. But not everyone is born to be perfect, and Mion certainly wasn’t.
It took them a moment to make themself look decently presentable, at least enough to give Youhei a proper goodbye. Mion took a few deep breaths, trying to steady their voice until it was audible, even if it still trembled. They wanted to say something, but they didn’t know where to begin. The Utaite sighed as they properly looked at Youhei’s corpse, finally spilling out words that seemed to go on forever.
“I'm so so sorry Youhei. I seriously wish things didn’t have to end up like this. But when I think about it, I can't bring myself to fully blame you, or blame anyone honestly. Afterall, we are just a bunch of scared kids who don’t want to die.
Their voice wavered, but they kept going.
“So if there really is an afterlife waiting for you, I hope you make amends with Matthias. I don’t want the guy holding too much of a grudge against you for.. You know, killing him. But yeah, once again I'm sorry for being the one to call you out on your crime, I wish it didn’t have to be me but, it’s not like anyone else wanted to do it right?”
Mion choked on the tears that seemed to be coming back, slowly, but they held them back. They can't cry, not while giving Youhei a goodbye.
“In another life, maybe we would’ve been living together in some crappy rented apartment while making music together and hanging out till like, 2am? I dunno, but, if i die in this game, or of old age, I can't wait to see you again. So, if your spirit is like, right behind me listening to this or something, don’t take this as a goodbye. It's more of a ‘see you soon’ alright?”
Mion didn’t feel any relief after saying those words. If anything, guilt tightened around them, heavier than ever, because they hadn’t been able to say any of it when Youhei was alive. They knew the saying, no use dwelling on the past, and they’d been told it countless times—but it didn’t apply here. They couldn’t just move on, couldn’t pretend daily life in the game could continue as normal.
They needed time. Even if it meant isolating themself in their room again, even if it felt selfish or unhealthy, they needed to grieve. And it started with leaving the trial grounds—leaving Youhei. They shot one final glance at his bruised, battered body before turning to the elevator. Monomoko’s eyes followed them, but Mion couldn’t tell if it was empathy—or indifference.
Even if it meant isolating themself in their room again, they want the time to grieve. Even if it's selfish, even if it's unhealthy, they have the urge to just lock themself away and grieve what they lost in this game. And it starts by leaving the trial grounds, leaving Youhei. They shot one final glance at the cut up and bruised body before they turned their back and went to the elevator to go back up, while Monomoko simply stared at Mion, with empathy? With indifference? They really couldn’t tell.
When the elevator finally rose to the top and the rusted doors opened, they spent no time dawdling and they began walking to their room, even catching a small glimpse of Ruka and Shingo on their way past. When they finally made it to their room, the doorknob felt cold as they twisted it, but what awaited them was nothing special. When they entered, Mion didn’t even lock the door, fussing with it for food or water every half hour or so seemed pointless. Instead, they curled under the thin, white sheet of the bed and tried to fall asleep in the depths of the night.