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This Is Me

Summary:

Shane faces some danger

Notes:

Hello again!!

I am back, I was going to write something different, but this one would NOT leave me alone!

The song title comes from This is Me from The Greatest Showman. I would give it a listen either before or after reading. Or during if you can do that!

I am trying not to give too much away so enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

They had amazingly done a good job of avoiding the Voyageurs.

For one, since the team lost Shane, they hadn’t been exactly All Star league.

For another, Shane going out on Maternity Leave 3 times helped avoid a confrontation.

Ilya had faced off with them a couple of times, and other than Drapeau body checking him into the boards, it had been pretty civil.

But then they got the calendar for March.

Ilya had already told Wiebe about Elijah’s recital, but sometimes he forgot small things.

Shane had glanced at it and then looked at his phone.

“Good he didn’t forget, Elijah will be so excited.”

“Shane.”

Shane looked up and saw Ilya’s face, and looked down to where his finger was tapping the weekend after Elijah’s recital.

Voyageurs

Shane’s heart stuttered.

“Oh God.”

Ilya took a big breath.

“I know that there was some bad blood when you left.”

“Rampant homophobia is a little more than bad blood.”

Ilya continued like Shane hadn’t spoken.

“But I am sure they know to be professional. We all adults.”

Shane is about to speak when his phone starts to ring.

“Hayden.”

Ilya wraps his arms around Shane’s waist.

“Put on speaker.”

Shane sets the phone down and hits the speaker button.

“Hayden! How goes man?”

“Hey Shane, Ilya nearby?”

“Uh yeah, he’s standing right here. What’s going on?”

“You guys see the schedule for next month yet?”

“Yeah, we were just looking at it, we have Elijah’s piano recital.”

“Right, um, I’m not sure how to say this.”

“Say what?” Ilya asked softly.

“Voyageurs are out for blood. Shane’s blood.”

“What?” Shane gasped.

“Yeah look, I’m not the Captain. If I was, you can sure as fuck know that I would shut that shit down.”

“Who is Captain?” Ilya asked.

“Gilbert.”

“Fuck.” Ilya muttered.

“Yeah, he has been fueling the fire about the umm.”

“What?” Ilya growled.

Hayden was silent for a long moment before he spoke.

“The bitch Omega that became star by sleeping his way to the top.”

Shane felt Ilya still next to him.

Never a good sign.

“The reason I’m calling is because I wanted to let you know what’s going on. I don’t think they are actually going to hurt you Shane, but Gilbert has been letting quite a few of the guys off their leashes so to speak, and I know he is pumping JJ up bad. Is there a substitute or something you can get? Maybe sit this one out?”

Shane growled softly. “And take the cowards way out? Fuck that Hayden.”

“Ilya, try to talk some sense into him. This is not going to end well if Shane gets on that ice.”

“Then we face it together. Shane and I are not cowards.”

Hayden sighed softly.

“Okay. Just, watch your backs.”

They both say their goodbyes and hang up the phone.

Silence fills their kitchen before Shane speaks.

“I won’t let them win.”

Ilya presses his lips to Shane’s gently.

“And neither will I.”


They move through February and March as they always do, with precision.

Shane’s March heat comes and goes; he takes a test the day of Elijah’s recital which is negative.

Ilya comforts him in the bathroom.

“Maybe next month hmmm?”

Shane nodded, but still cried a little.


Game Day  Ottawa Centaurs vs Montreal Voyageurs
The morning warm up before the game went horrible.

They were sharing the ice with the Voyageurs obviously, but they kept skating over to the Centaur’s side and going out of their way to mess with Shane.

They weren’t body checking, but they were making practice harder.

After the 3rd time LaPointe slid his stick out by Shane’s feet, Ilya had had enough.

He skated over to Gilbert and skidded to a stop, spraying some ice against his legs.

“Hey, get your team under control, they messing with my players.”

Gilbert smirked. “Really? Hmmm haven’t noticed.”

Ilya grit his teeth together.

“Yes you have, you can’t miss it.”

“Sorry man, maybe having an Omega on your team is making my boys a little rougher. Maybe bench him for the night? Save his pretty face a few nicks.”

Ilya dropped his stick, ready to launch forward, and wrap his hands around Gilbert’s throat when Wiebe and the Voyageurs’ coach Hughes appeared.

“Alright, that’s enough.” Wiebe says firmly. “I think that’s enough for practice, everyone hit the lockers.”

Ilya gave Gilbert one last glare and skated off.

Wiebe glared at Hughes after Ilya was gone.

“Get your mutts under control goddamn it.”


They are all gathered in the locker room and Shane is taping his stick when he stopped and looked at Ilya.

"If something happens; I want you to take the kids home before you come to the hospital."

"Shane-"

"No Ilya, whatever is going to happen, it’s going to be bad. So promise me." Tears filled Shane's eyes as he looked at his husband. "Take them home."

Ilya nodded. "Okay, but nothing is going to happen."

"H-How do you know?"

Ilya turned Shane's head so their eyes met.

Ilya's blue eyes were hard and angry; they looked like ice chips.

"Because my love, to get to you, they have to get through me first. They won't like what happens if they try that." 

Bood was sitting nearby and smiled. “And me.”

Dillion rose. “And me.”

Troy stood and looked at the others in the locker room.

“Cap and Co Cap, I think I speak for all of us when I say that we will do whatever we need to do to make sure we not only win, but keep you protected. Sur notre honneur.”

Shane absolutely melted at those words.

“Thank you.” He said softly.

Ilya smiled and stood, Captain face going on.

“Alright! Enough mush, what are we going to fucking do? Huh?”

“TAKE DOWN THE VOYAGEURS!” The Team yelled back.

“You goddamn fucking right we are!”

He pulled on his jersey over his pads.

“LET’S GO!”


The Centaurs cheered all the way down the tunnel to the ice.

They did a few laps to a cheering crowd before taking their places on the line.

The Voyageurs came out, did their laps, and then lined up.

With the exception of Hayden, they were all glaring at Shane.

JJ drew his finger across his neck while looking right at Shane.

“Fuck.” Ilya said softly.

Before Shane could respond, the announcer’s voice was heard overhead.

“And now singing our National Anthem, Rose Landry!”

Everyone in the arena started to cheer and the players removed their helmets.

“Did you know about this?” Ilya asked.

Shane shook his head. “No clue.”

Rose appeared in the spotlight wearing a cover type dress, like she was wearing something underneath it.

Shane raised his eyebrows as the music started; it wasn’t the national anthem music for O Canada.

Rose brought the mic up to her mouth and sang.

I am not a stranger to the dark

"Hide away, " they say

"'Cause we don't want your broken parts"

I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars

"Run away, " they say

"No one'll love you as you are"

But I won't let them break me down to dust

I know that there's a place for us

For we are glorious

The lights flashed behind her for a moment, and Shane could swear he saw his children behind her. Ilya nudged him, clearly, he saw it too.

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down

I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out

I am brave, I am bruised

I am who I'm meant to be, this is me

Rose pulled off the dress cover and revealed a dress that looked like a Centaur’s Jersey across the front was the number 105 and as she turned to get down the small platform she was standing on, Shane spotted Hollander-Rosanov on the back as she walked.

The lights came up, and indeed his children were walking with Rose, sporting their Jerseys.

Look out 'cause here I come

And I'm marching on to the beat I drum

I'm not scared to be seen

I make no apologies, this is me

The 4 of them moved in front of the Centaurs, staring down the Voyageurs, swaying to the music as Rose sang.

When a break came, Rose handed the mic to Sofia.

His 4 year old child fixed a death stare clearly inherited from Ilya onto JJ.

Another round of bullets hits my skin

Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in

Sofia handed the mic back to Rose who picked it up again.

We are bursting through the barricades and reaching for the sun

WE ARE WARRIORS!

Yeah, that's what we've become (yeah, that's what we've become)

At the part of the Warriors, Shane frowned as the voices rang behind them.

He turned to see all the Centaur fans on their feet, sporting their jerseys proudly, and holding their phones up as they danced to the music and sang.  

Shane didn’t think they were recording, it was almost like they were lighting up the stadium with all the love they had for Shane and Ilya.

Shane noticed movement out of the corner of his eye, and when he turned to look full on. His mouth fell open.

He nudged Ilya who also turned.

Walking onto the ice, holding (what Shane assumed was) light up candles was a group of people he knew.

In the front was his Mom and Dad; followed by Svetlana, Scott, Kip, Kip’s sister Megan, and Kip’s friends: Elena, Maria, Kyle, Shawn, Chuck, and Jimmy.

They passed by Shane and Ilya, rubbing or patting Shane as they walked by.

The group stood behind Rose, but in front of the Centaurs; they didn’t move or sing, they just held their candles and stared at the Voyageurs.

Ilya sucked in a breath, crossed himself, and muttered something in Russian.

Shane turned to him, confused.

“What?”

“Is…candlelight vigil. In Russia secret police like to bother families. Neighbors will gather in front of homes and stand in circle with candles. As if to say, fuck you to police. Protection.”

Shane looked around, at the fans holding their phones, his family and friends with their candles.

And felt a great swell of love.

They were all there to protect him. To keep him safe.

To tell the Voyageurs fuck you.

He teared up when he saw across from them, in the Voyageurs WAG box, Jacki stand up and turn on her flashlight.

JJ’s on again, off again girlfriend did the same.

Soon the whole WAG box was full of light.

When Rose ended her song, silence held for 10 seconds and then cheers broke out.

Cheers so loud it shook the arena.

Surrounding Shane with all the love they had.

The Centaurs went on to win the game 8-3.

Hayden was fined and put in the penalty box when he body checked Gilbert into the boards after Gilbert tried to go for Shane.

JJ was kicked out of the game when he got into a fight with Ilya.

Though Shane said later when they were in bed that it wasn’t really much of a fight.

Ilya had creamed JJ.

Notes:

Welcome to the end!!

I hope you liked it!

Like I said, this would NOT leave me alone. I almost posted it at 3 this morning, but wanted to sleep a LITTLE bit!

This one is by far my favorite to write, (though there is one coming that may kick it from the tier list lol). I hope you liked it, I cried through most of it too.

I would also like to say that I haven't read the books, so I don't know if this is how Shane was treated, I just know from Google that he was treated badly after he and Ilya were outed.

Also I know nothing about Hockey, so please no hate there!

Also! Any guesses as to why Rose chose 105 for her jersey?

Again, hope you guys liked it! Comments and Kudos are love!

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