Chapter Text
Kokushibo was a lot more focused on pleasing Muzan then he was focused on his own needs, so it's not that surprising that he's never had sex or touched himself since he's become a demon, having abandoned that type of stuff when he abandoned his humanity. Though, it is a bit surprising that he's never gotten a boner since being a demon, so he was very confused when he got his first stiffy in four hundred years.
He's not really sure what put him in this situation, and it's been way too long since this happened for him to be sure how to feel or what to do either. He vaguely remembers nights with his wife when he was human, but he doesn't remember any specifics, so that doesn't help much either.
He considers asking one of the other Upper Moons, Akaza might have an idea since he still vividly remembers his wife so he might do it sometimes and Douma just seems like the kind of guy to know about that stuff, but then he remembers that going up to his inferiors and asking how to jerk off would ruin his reputation even if he did get an answer, which he probably wouldn't. So he abandons that idea quickly.
Maybe he could ask Muzan? No, that would just result in being punished, and Kokushibo isn't in the mood to be starved of human flesh for a month.
Maybe he could ask Enmu? That zest fest would definitely know, but there's also a chance that Enmu would tell Douma, and if Douma finds out then there's no doubt that every demon alive would know within a week. So maybe not that either.
Maybe he shouldn't ask someone and just try to figure it out himself? But he doesn't even know where to start. Well, it's his only option, so he'll have to try based on what he remembers vaguely from the past and what he's heard from others.
He sighs in frustration and closes the door to his bedroom, slipping off his hakama and kimono so that he's bare. He lays down on his bed and hesitantly wraps a hand around his own hardness, squeezing just a little bit and biting his lip to hold back a sound. He gives a few experimental tugs and moans softly.
This feels better than he expected...
After a little while he feels something coiling low in his gut, like his little intestine is squeezing itself shut. His eyes roll back and he lets out a loud moan as he cums. White, translucent goo splatters over his stomach and hand, and he shudders violently before slowly coming down from his high.
He pants softly, his whole body going limp. Except one organ, though. He's still hard.
He vaguely remembers another way of masturbating, anal, opting to try that than do the same thing over again. He looks around for something to use and ends up deciding that his sword's handle will do fine enough.
He grabs his sword and takes the handle into his mouth first, his breath hitching at how big it is. He takes it fully into his mouth, gagging a bit while his eyes water and roll back just a little bit. He finds this weirdly pleasuring, and sucks on the handle thoroughly while taking it deeper down his throat, doing this for almost ten whole minutes.
Eventually though, he remembers why he started this in the first place, and pulls the saliva-slick handle out of his mouth reluctantly. He looks at it and hopes it's enough spit on it, but he also notices for the first time how big the handle of his sword is. To be proportional to his large frame, he had to get a large sword so that he could use it properly.
You'd think that would mean that the handle wasn't that big to him, but his hands are rather large and he's never once had anything inside him so his hole is rather tight too. It all adds up to basically mean that his sword handle is much larger than his ass hole.
He grimaces a bit at the idea, but he's too far in to stop now. He takes a deep breath, not having any idea that he's supposed to prep himself, and slowly pushes the handle into his ass. He buries his face deep in his pillow and bites down on it to muffle his scream of pain.
He powers through it and shoves the sword handle deeper until it's fully inside and sobs uncontrollably into his pillow, too overwhelmed by the intense pleasure-pain he's experiencing to wear his usual stoic mask.
He pulls the handle out almost all the way before slamming it back inside him, crying out and repeating the action with a scream accompanying every thrust.
He's sure someone has heard him now, but he's too lost in himself to care. He screams and screams and thrusts it in and out before he cums again soon after.
This orgasm is much more intense, he screams so loud his voice cracks before breaking completely and convulses violently. His eyes roll back and his mouth hangs open in a silent shriek of pleasure as tears stream down his face and cum soaks his bed.
Eventually he goes completely limp and just sobs softly into his pillow, muscles too strained to move. But, suddenly, he hears footsteps and tenses up.
He forces his exhausted body to move even as his muscles scream in protest and he quickly puts his sword back where it usually goes and puts his kimono and hakama back on before jumping into his cum-covered bed and pulling the blanket over himself just as Douma and Akaza come in.
"We heard screaming, what's going on?"
"Yeah~! What's going on? Did you kill a delicious lady and not share any with us~?"
"Hey! It's not like I would eat it if it was a woman!"
"Well, you should~! Women are soooo nutritious~!"
Kokushibo would normally scold them both for being so disrespectful and bickering so much, but he's too exhausted and spent to yell at them right now, so he just shoos them with a trembling hand that he hopes they don't realize is shaking and says tiredly, "Leave, you both are giving me a headache."