Chapter Text
1764, Louisana
Life was always hard for Nina. Since she was born, she was looked at as a threat.
Something dirty.
Something disgusting.
Something dangerous.
Nina always had this thought in the back of her mind: You're not human. Because she was never treated as a human being or a person.
Everyday she was reminded of having invisible chains on her ankles, that she was a slave and nothing more. The first thing her masters saw or anyone who would come close was the outside appearance. Her hair, her face, and most importantly her skin.
Always looked at and never cared for. Always condemned and never held. Always seen but never chosen. Always hated but never loved.
After all that hating, abuse, racism, colorism, sexism, etc. She was beaten many times in different ways but never broken.
Working as a slave wasn't ideal for her or anyone at the age of twenty. Since Nina was ten, she's been working as a slave and never got the chance to choose.
Never had the opportunity to play and live like a normal person. Not like the kids in the masters house whose skin was so light that it turned pink.
Those people were the special ones.
The ones that had bright blue eyes, blonde or brunette straight long hair, and a prideful aura that would make you scared of approaching them. In many ways, Nina envied them and hated them.
Her Nigerian father died when she was born for being a runaway slave and protecting his household. The only piece of culture she possessed was from the folklores and a few words of the Yoruba language her mother taught her.
She was never rich, always poor, always lacking, and always craving something deep inside. The things that were stripped away from her heritage, her family, her homeland, and her life.
Meanwhile, the white children got to live fruitful lives with two parents in a big house and lots of land.
Sometimes Nina would stare at the kids in awe playing in the grass while pretending to be whatever they wanted to be in life.
They were free.
Something that she wasn't.
They never had to lift a finger because the slaves did everything for them. Cook, clean, and serve.
The three things Nina knew how to do very well. The only things Nina knew.
But as Nina grew up, she began to analyze her life and the life of others around her. She was always intrigued by how much her masters loved not only their kind but the slaves that had lighter skin complexions. How much they favored them, showed them around to their inner circle like candy, and would even let them stay the night in their house. Sometimes days or weeks.
The concept of being liked by others was something Nina never had. So every time a distant family member or anyone who shared the same skin as her went inside the house which is something slaves were not supposed to do, she would pay attention and observe them. Then, one by one there was no one else that carried the family name except for Simone and her daughter.
And weirdly enough it was always at night.
When the family is in bed, the candles aren't lit, nothing but sounds of crickets, insects, and streams of waters from the lake nearby. A master would choose someone from her circle of relatives and they go inside at night but never come back out.
However, months later Nina would see them again in passing. Whether it's at the fields, doing chores, or helping the children put together toys. But they aren't the same, it's like a completely different person that's been separated from life itself and after a year goes by they end up dead from some type of illness that she has never heard of.
It was when Nina turned 18, her own mother, Simone was sent to their masters home at night. The weeks before that evening, they were filling her head with praise about how light her skin was and promising her a good fortune that if they had their way with her for one night, the family wouldn't have to work as hard and her daughter would be free from being a slave.
Nina remembered them like it was yesterday. A husband and wife. Hair yellow as corn. They wore hats that would cover their faces but if you looked closely, you could see a strange color in their orbs.
Skin whiter than usual, almost to the point of sparkling like diamonds in the sun but they never stand out for too long and always in the shadows. Lurking on the slaves, the plantation, and the south. Like a predator seeking to devour their prey.
Nothing about them seemed normal. They were too fake, too manipulative, too mysterious, too narcissistic, too quiet, and too wanting.
At first, Simone would decline them but with the constant pressure and persuasion, she eventually caved in.
Nina noticed the changes in her mother right away, her very skin started to lose its melanin, her curls started to fade into straight hair, she wouldn't speak much or eat anything but do whatever the masters told her to do.
Like she was under a spell and it could never be broken. Slowly dying and couldn't be revived.
Soon, she died in her daughter's arms after getting sick and hoped that she wouldn't suffer the same fate. With her dying words, she told Nina not to trust the masters or any white person because they were evil and would kill you if given the chance.
In her death, Simone became Nina's rage and sorrow. She didn't deal with grief well nor did she become obedient to her masters because the little respect she had for them was lost in her heart.
After getting beaten by the burning sensation of a lash on Nina's back for not doing what she was told, the slave master threw her inside a cage to sleep in for the night.
By the stillness and heavy silence, it felt like she was the only one until her eyes landed on two women who were in their own cages. But instead of seeing that grit or spiteful look on a slave's face, they had hope in their eyes. Something that Nina never saw and honestly it was something that she once had.
"What's your name, beautiful?" One of them asked with anticipation on her face and a soft voice.
Nina turned to them, only moving her head. "Nina," She said sharply.
"My name is Amara, nice to meet you." She smiled kindly.
Nina turned her head then scoffed at how kind she was, there was no reason to be happy or content about the situation they were in. Nothing was good, nothing was right, and nothing was normal.
The other one spoke up, sensing her attitude. "The names Peaches, don't be so harsh na." Her southern accent kicked in.
"Don't be hard on her," Amara sternly whispered to her.
Peaches rolled her eyes and raised her hands in defeat then faced Nina. "It's not that bad in here," Her tone softened. We don't have to experience what goes on outside."
A few seconds later, Nina began to weep and cover her face. Finally letting out all of the bottled tears and emotions.
"Come on now." Peaches face saddened.
"Don't cry," Amara whined, wanting so badly to comfort her.
Peaches analyzed Nina more and saw that her facial features looked familiar once the moonlight hit her face through the cracked concrete wall.
"Aren't you Simone's kid?" She asked and Nina's ear perked up at the mention of her mother.
"Yes," Nina mumbled through a sniff, still looking down.
"We're sorry for your loss," Amara placed a hand on her chest. "It happens a lot around here."
Peaches nodded. "Yeah, a lot of our people die from strange sicknesses. Some of the folks say it's because of our white masters,"
Nina listened to their words as she wiped away her tears and relief spread across her body.
"Their skin is so peculiar, it doesn't even glisten like ours do." Amara's face grew in disbelief, like she wasn't believing the words that were coming out of her mouth.
"It be burning up so much that they turned into tomatoes," Peaches joked, making Amara giggle.
"Their asses turn red!" Amara added, causing Nina to join in with her soft snorts.
After the laughter died down, Nina turned to them and felt comfortable enough to speak.
"How could you both stand it?" She asked curiously.
Peaches and Amara looked at each other before facing Nina, understanding what she meant by that question.
"We do what we can to survive," Amara said.
For a moment, there was silence in the air until Nina spoke again.
"I'm tired of just surviving," She caught their attention. "Aren't y'all?"
Amara nodded. "Yeah."
"It's exhausting." Peaches sighed deeply.
"I'm gonna leave this place so that I don't have to survive...but live." Nina declared.
The two girls shared the same surprised look at Nina's words but agreed with her nonetheless.
"And we will take that chance with you, Nina."
Peaches assured. "We need to live."
"By the grace of God, we will find a way and leave as free people." Amara promised.
When the morning came upon the horizon, they felt liberated and encouraged even while being caged. As the day went on, the master released them and they returned to their duties with a goal in mind. Since then, the three women started to make plans and find ways to escape. Studying and learning the layout of the plantation for two years with precision and accuracy.
They would even braid each other's hair according to the map that they drew out as a guide for them. Over time their friendship grew and Nina got to know them outside of doing labor.
Amara had brown long wavy hair, curvy body, lighter skin, and she would be invited to the house by their master on special occasions to do whatever they desired to her. As their friendship progressed, Amara would come back to tell Nina stories of what she saw, the things she experienced, and how much she hated being a victim or in the white man words "a personal lover." They even had a nickname for her.
Sweet thing.
Every time she came back from a night of trauma, Nina would always be there to attend to the wounds on her body and clean up the leftover blood from her lower body that was always in pain.
Amara would always open her mind and express her feelings to Nina because she needed an anchor to keep her sane and calm. To dissolve and dissociate from this cruel world into a peaceful fantasy with Nina.
"Sweet thing" was the bag of meat the masters loved to abuse and sexualize. Amara was an innocent little girl calling out to be cared for and feel secure.
But the one who had it worse was Peaches. She was much darker than Nina, lean body, tall height, and thicker coily hair. Peaches was known as the rebellious slave, sarcastic at the mouth, always had something to say or make her own decisions that would get her beaten. Always got made fun of for being dark from either the masters or a family member. Anywhere she went someone would make a comment about her personality or looks. But nobody could deny that she was beautiful and had a bold soul. There were times when Peaches would let her hair out in a fro, to be free from being tied down. Nina thought of her as an angel because her fro was shaped like a halo. That's why the sun shined brighter on her more than anyone else.
Peaches was Nina's strength and joy.
Amara was Nina's hope and kindness.
The only two women who were her family. The only people that kept Nina alive. That never made her lose sight of love and compassion. A lost art that many slaves once had. But they were also the ones who always helped Nina to remember who the real enemy was.
The pale ones. The cold blooded monsters. In the language of her ancestors they called them: oyibo.
Nina would always hate them for what they did to her mother, to her father, to her friends, to her families, to her people, and to her homeland.
——-
In the wake of dawn, Nina rose from her bed and got ready for the day. She threw on her usual attire of white clothes and put her curly hair in a ponytail before heading out the door to the fields.
As usual Nina found a couple of men picking cotton and her two close friends. She greeted them with a smile and immediately started working.
Peaches as usual was making up jokes to pass the time, brighten up everyone's day. Then while the sun started to hide behind the clouds, Amara would hum songs from her heart and eventually the group joined her in unison. Most of them were hymns of praise and thanksgiving to God. A familiar ritual that Simone would do on Sundays when Nina was a child. It would lead her to sing as well, in a soft but striking tone that made everyone around her stop to listen then they would join in like a choir.
As they were singing, another presence was lurking from behind and squinting at the sight before them. Their legs drew closer and closer until they reached the slaves.
"Nina," A voice said, causing her to turn around in a startled manner along with Amara and Peaches while the rest of the group quickly stopped singing.
When it was revealed that it was Mrs. Williams who scared them, they eased their grip on the knife except for Nina who had it close to her side without anyone seeing.
As the master's wife stared curiously at the three women, Nina decided to take the opportunity and study her. Everything was weirdly covered on her pale body, despite it being hot outside. She was dressed in a blue stiff bodiced mantua with a closed petticoat, an open draped mantua skirt, and gloves to match. Her blonde wizened hair was in a ponytail, and her round face held an intense expression even though her features looked harmless. Wrinkles were unnaturally visible in her face which was weird because Mrs. Williams had to be in her early forties. But appeared to look older than that.
She wore a big hat that shielded her blue striking eyes from the sun, even though there was nothing normal about them. The more Nina stared into her eyes, the more uncomfortable she felt. She remembered those eyes very well, those were the same eyes that stared at her mother, the same eyes that smiled and never had life inside.
They were avoidant of having a soul.
The white woman smiled widely, like she knew what Nina was feeling and stepped forward to speak. "I've heard a lot about you."
"You have?" Nina blinked, taking a step back to be in the middle of Amara and Peaches.
Mrs. Williams tilted her head. "Yes, you're Simone's daughter," Nina began to get irritated by her speaking about Simone.
"She was a great woman, took care of my kids and all." She continued.
"Well, she didn't really have a choice." Nina retorted.
Amara pitched her arm. "Nina." She warned in a whisper.
Mrs. Williams' brows raised in surprise. "No, she didn't," She paused, taking a second to look at Nina. "But we did try to help her."
"How?" Nina crossed her arms.
"By offering her a chance to get better and to live a long life on earth." Mrs. Williams smiled again.
"She was healthy before and probably would still be alive right now if it weren't for you and your family." Nina got close to her but all Mrs.Williams did was laugh.
She took a deep breath, like the breeze smelt good and looked down at Nina to reach her small height.
"You just don't know how special you are." Mrs. Williams mumbled and Nina scrunched up in confusion.
What did she mean by that? She thought.
"That's quiet enough na." Peaches pulled Nina back but Mrs. Williams got closer.
"My husband and I would like to invite you over for dinner tonight." Her tone was enticing enough to get Nina's attention.
"What for?" Nina asked, her tone still stern and unshaken.
"An apology for how we treated Simone and to have a warm cooked meal as a thank you for all of the years spent in helping my family,"
Mrs. Williams walked closer until she was inches away from Nina's face. "What do you say?" She cheekily asked with a hand between them for her to shake.
Nina looked at her gloved hand for a moment until she found herself gazing into her eyes again and could have sworn that they started to get dilated with a flicker of red in the iris.
Even as her body began to feel weak and Mrs. Williams' voice was intoxicating, Nina found herself remembering what happened to her mother.
Her very words echoed in her mind: They are evil and will kill you if given the chance.
Then, she started to feel strong again and stood her ground.
"I'll be just fine," Nina leaned back into Peaches arms and smiled at the white woman. "Thank you."
Mrs. Williams squinted her eyes in disbelief, like she was shocked by her sudden reaction and scoffed with annoyance. "Suit yourself."
She turned to the other slaves who were watching the whole situation and glared at them angrily.
"Get back to work!" Mrs. Williams demanded before walking away.
"That was strange, ain't it?" Peaches said.
"She's always strange." Amara shook her head as she felt a chill coming down her spine.
"It was nothing but intimidation," Nina turned to face them and continued picking cotton. "That's all."
In the back of her mind, Nina hoped that it was the last time she encountered Mrs. Williams. However, deep down inside, she felt that it was only the beginning.
When the evening came, in a poorly constructed small one-room log cabin that had a dirt floor and only a few windows. The three women were tucked in bed side by side but their eyes were wide awake and their mouths were covered to muffle all of the giggles that were threatening to come out while they told each other funny stories.
In the midst of Amara telling a joke to add onto the laughter, their smiles were wiped away when the voice of a man shouted and screamed out for help.
"A runaway?" Amara asked in a knowing voice.
"Most likely." Nina said.
"We should call it a night then." Peaches turned her body to the side, Amara did the same thing, and Nina rolled over to face the ceiling.
They had several runaways over the years but the masters or someone else always caught them. When the master brought a slave back home, they would whip, brand, perform limb amputations, and restrain them afterwards by shackles or chains out of punishment. All to install fear in other slaves who were hoping to escape and keep them bound to stay.
At first, they tried to ignore the fearful noise of a slave getting caught by their master and forced themselves to sleep when all of a sudden another noise came.
However, it didn't sound like a man screaming but an animal of some sort. A loud squinch of clatter that echoed throughout the plantation and swamp. It sounded too close for comfort that it left an unsettling feeling in the air around them until everything got silent again.
Without realizing, the women sat up in unison and began to look at each other.
"Did y'all hear that?" Peaches whispered, too scared to speak louder.
Amara nodded, pulling the sheets to her mouth. "It didn't sound right at all," She looked around.
"I've never heard anything like that in my life." Nina paused to take a breath. "What was it?"
Peaches and Amara looked at her in horrified silence. They didn't know what to say or how to react. For the rest of the night, the three women stayed up and tried to keep themselves from being afraid.
But nothing. Absolutely nothing could stop their mind from wandering over and over to the animalistic unknown sound they heard.
In the morning, the air was thick with something Nina, Amara, and Peaches couldn't name.
Like the silence you felt at a funeral of a loved one passing away. Or the agonizing feeling of a slave getting beaten by the whips and having to endure the screams of pain until it was over. Or when a slave owner would quote verses from the Bible that were written by an angry racist white man who hated blacks but everyone had to sit down and listen like it was the truth.
There was something eerie at foot.
Growing up on the plantation never felt fully safe. Even though the masters made promises to the slaves that they would be in good hands if they just obeyed them and did everything they asked for. But those words were never completely true. Over the years of being a slave, Nina always had the need to look behind her shoulder or turn her back when a white person was near. It wasn't out of ignorance but rather concern for her safety.
Now Nina knew it wasn't by accident, that those feelings were real. However, she couldn't put a finger on what she needed to be afraid of when it came to her surroundings because everywhere she turned was a place of danger and uncertainty.