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AFER Hangang apartment complex is popular with many celebrities from the acting industry, but only one resident is a world-famous K-pop star. He also happens to be standing outside Jicheol’s front door at 11 PM at night.
‘Hyung-nim.’ the young man says delicately, fidgeting with the carrier in his hand, ‘I heard that you were looking for a cat?’
It was not their first meeting, but he had never had the opportunity to make him tea before. The young man bowed gratefully while taking his drink with a reverence that Jicheol admired about him. Bangtan Sonyeondan were known for their wise words but chaotic atmosphere, rapper and dancer j-hope in particular fulfilling the mood maker role of the group. However, the young man behind the idol, Jung Hoseok, was infallibly polite.
‘She can be quite shy, so this is great.’
His companion wandered by their feet—a grey, faded tabby with a sore eye. Shy suited what Jicheol liked about cats. He extended the back of his hand downwards so that she may approach. However, she withered from his form, shrinking into herself.
‘Ah, poor thing…’ he said, ‘Where did you find her?’
‘On set for a shoot I did.’ Jung Hoseok expressed, pushing a short strand of hair behind a rather small ear with his skinny fingers. His long, narrow face held a wistful gaze despite an attempt at a brave smile. ‘I fostered another one like her earlier this year…before finding him a home...’
Jicheol hadn’t confirmed an adoption just yet, but felt reluctant to put up a fight. It was futile—he felt a tenderness to this poor creature and his neighbour’s sweet demeanour sealed it.
‘She can stay.’ he decided, and immediately began planning his life around her, ‘I will need to get her a bed, won’t I? What sort of food do you recommend? Will she need another round of antibiotics…Hoseok-ssi?’
He trailed off, embarrassed to note that his neighbour had tears welling in his eyes. Hoseok looked rather ashamed, blinking rapidly and smiling vehemently even as he ran his fingers beneath his lashes.
‘Ah, I’m very sorry…’ he coughed slightly, ‘I just feel rather ashamed to say that I cannot commit to being her responsibility, but…I am not fit at this moment...’
He needn’t say anymore. Jicheol saw the news that the idol had cancelled his deferment for military service. It’s been nearly 15 years since he had been in this man’s place. While a lot has changed in his life since, he could understand how it must feel to put a pin on your career right at its peak. Just when it felt like things were working out for the better.
He did not know a lot about Jung Hoseok, only meeting him in passing at a neighbour’s party, but found him perfectly pleasant for his age. He was colourful, vibrant, yet had a distinct and quiet maturity about him that was charismatic. It turned out he was quite the soft-hearted type too, taking interest in rescuing animals. He was like a fairy godmother, finding them a new home. Angelic was a word not used lightly, but it was hard describing him in any other way.
‘Please don’t be upset, you are very welcome to come visit her anytime that you like.’
Jicheol spoke before he really thought about it, and his first instinct was certainly not regret. There was something trustworthy about Jung Hoseok, with his big-mood on stage and softer expressions off, that instilled in him a sense of familiarity. Here is a young man who was tentative and committed, dutiful without a fault.
‘Really?’ the expression on the idol’s face was that of surprise, but then he broke out into such a lovely smile. ‘Thank you, hyung-nim.’
Jicheol’s stomach dropped.
Oh. Oh, fuck.
*
Jung Hoseok is not a cat person.
It’s not that he ever disliked cats. No, he’s always wandered around behind them nyah-ing ever since he was a kid, but dogs were life. His passion. When he was a trainee, his end goal was to one day achieve enough material comfort and stability to have a dog of his own.
Getting a dog was one thing that never came to be—becoming a successful idol genuinely blindsided him and achieving worldwide success just complicated the matter. However, that’s not really an important element to how he assumed the vocation of rescuing animals.
It started with Mickey, his family’s adopted dog.
The poor thing had been abandoned at a gas station by his original owners, a note detailing that they were no longer able to care for him. Life could be so cruel sometimes and you just don’t know people’s circumstances. Still, the coldness of it always troubled Hoseok. How could someone just discard a being so vulnerable?
He adored the little shitzu. With his sister, they delighted in dressing him in little outfits and lovely little bows. He was a sluggish thing, moving slow but always with purpose. Hoseok loved the sound of his nails tapping on the wooden floor whenever his mother called his name for dinner.
However, Mickey had a lot of health problems. Within a short time of adopting him he began to lose his sight, until it eventually went altogether. It was an upsetting, uncertain time and the sentiments of “put to sleep” was echoed at vet appointments. However, the little dog was a persistent little thing and they accommodated their family home as best as they could, so he could move around and feed as he needed. His appetite returned with time, as did his passion, even if he slowed even more with the advent of age. He was very brave and strong and responded well to their voices, even Hoseok’s when he became too excited.
So, it was these circumstances—Mickey, abandoned and falling ill—that really opened Hoseok’s eyes and had him empathise with animals in need. It became a cause he wanted to help with directly, not just throw money at. So, while he donated to shelters directly, he also volunteered where he could.
Cats came into his life, one after the other.
First, he rescued a kitten on the street, bringing it to the vet and ensuring it went to a good family. He fostered another during some downtime on the band’s final album when the whole world was in lockdown and he needed some companionship around his apartment. However, it too needed a forever home, more than Hoseok could provide for her. So, he needed to say goodbye.
Cats were a surprise to his sensibilities, quieter in temperate and needing so much less attention than dogs at first impression. However, he soon discovered that this was not true in the slightest. Cats were quite social creatures, seeking affection and companionship just as their canine counterparts did. They were not beings that could be simply neglected—they had personalities, feelings and needs of their own.
Needless to say, the algorithm on Hoseok’s For You page changed over time to more felines.
Maybe, a small part of his heart said like it did in the past with the idea of a puppy, one day, it will be right.
So, with this knowledge and expectation, Hoseok shouldn’t have expected any different with Mau, a beautiful, grey tabby he found in the trash while on set. He worked together with some of the crew, bundling her up in a discarded shirt and cradling her in his arms as she cried. He fell in love with her immediately. She was such a small, pitiful thing. She was sick, her eye crusted from disease, and he didn’t know if she would make it.
Yet, she did.
He administered her antibiotics to her food and coaxed her from hiding places in his apartment so he could administer drops in her eye. In the process, he was probably upsetting his neighbour down below, a national treasure who acted in acclaimed TV shows and movies. He was probably wondering what the hell a member of BTS was doing upstairs—he surely practised at the company dance studio, right?
Mau needed a lot of love, and Hoseok did his best, but he just knew it wasn’t going to be enough. No amount of cat sitting or trips to the cattery could make up for the attention she really needed.
You are not my forever pet.
He stared into her little face as he thought this, and his heart broke.
She needed stability. She needed attention. She needed patience. She needed someone to love her.
Hoseok, in conversation with an actor-acquaintance at his album listening party, learned that someone closer than expected might be able to help...
*
‘You said yes to adopting a cat because a twink came crying to your door?’ Dongwook scoffed, ‘You’re too soft.’
‘You make me sound like some creep.’ Jicheol groaned, collapsing back on his sofa, ‘He had big eyes and a sad mouth. He’s normally so upbeat whenever we meet in the hallways, I couldn’t stand looking at him.’
‘Which one is this? Jungkook? Jimin?’
‘One of the rappers, the loud one.’
‘I have no idea who the rappers are.’
‘J-hope.’ Jicheol stated, ‘You met him in the elevator and called him Bangtan Sonyeondan.’
‘Wait, are you still angry about that? He high-fived me.’
‘Anyways, j-hope gave me a cat.’
‘Yeah? You always wanted a cat. You love cats!’
That’s true, but when he said it to colleagues and acquaintances, he just didn’t anticipate the cat lottery system working like this.
‘I’m…not sure about this cat.’
Jicheol had spent the last hour trying to coax the coat out from beneath the sofa, to no success. Jung Hoseok did tell him that she needed some love and attention, but he didn’t know where to start.
‘Go talk to the guy and sort this out.’ Dungwook assured him, ‘Stand your ground, he’s probably more scared of you than you are of him.’
*
Jung Hoseok never has his doorbell ring from inside the complex, especially accompanied by a polite yet firm rap on his door.
‘Oh…’ Hoseok would have been taken aback by the neighbourly visit, only that it was Gong Yoo who was carrying the cat carrier, ‘I…see.’
‘I’m very sorry, but I think I made a mistake…’ the actor expressed, in a very gentle but curt way that only a guy of his age could probably make, ‘I don’t think I can adequately look after her…’
Hoseok is disappointed, not in Gong Yoo, but with the matter of the arrangement. He simply didn’t do enough to transition Mau, and he was at fault. He left everything tot he last minute due to this own selfishness.
He invited his neighbour in and immediately opened the carrier. It had been a few days since he had last seen her, and Hoseok wanted to embrace her, but the cat had other ideas. Mau rushed out, very skittish and made her way to her usual safe place between the back of the fridge and the wastepaper basket.
‘Thank you for giving her a chance, I understand why it wasn’t working out…’
‘Hoseok-ssi…’ Gong Yoo said softly, capturing his attention, ‘I have disappointed you, I’m very sorry.’
Hoseok found it hard to look him in the eye, but not for the reason of disappointment. He always found the older man terribly attractive and something about having him inside his apartment made his heart race even more than his visit to his home, some days ago. Once he has the particularities of Mau’s adoption finalised, he would like to recount this experience with his members and friends, and hopefully before he retreats to military service whereupon homoeroticism would become too normalised to be remarkable.
‘Is there any way that I could make it up to you?’
Hoseok looked back into the man’s eyes. Big and brown, the edges lightly wrinkled by crows feet and floppy hair falling over his forehead. It’s a mystery how he isn’t married. No ring on his finger nor caller in the night.
‘Please, hyung-nim…’ he said softly, ‘If you truly wish to adopt a cat one day, then please give her another chance. I’m still quite new to cats myself and I had to learn the hard way that they are nothing like dogs. Cats are their own personalities. They can be shy and reserved, but also curious and inquisitive. They are needy and need affection too in their own way. Even, Mau. It’s my fault for bringing her to you before she was ready. I wasn’t thinking, I need to leave so soon that her adjustment wasn’t even something I considered. I thought I was being considerate, coming to you, because I thought it was a good match. However, I really let you and her down, I didn’t make this easy for either of you…’
He started talking, without really thinking through his words, just let them spill out recklessly. However, as he spoke, the older man nodded thoughtfully. Not once did he move to interject. Instead he let him finish at his own pace.
‘Hoseok-ssi…’ he spoke softly, ‘Could you please show me how to care for Mau?’
*
Jicheol learned a lot over the following hours.
He followed Hoseok to the cat’s hiding spot, learning to coax her out and be patient.
They sat and spoke for a little longer, while Hoseok discussed some of her feeding times as well as what to expect while caring for her. What cattery nearby he found adequate, for times he needed to spend away for work. The time Hoseok took to explain, to teach him all this, Jicheol would always cherish. Especially how obvious time is precious to the idol. His hair is shaved, neat to the scalp. The shape of his face is rather delicate and the length of his neck gave him a cat-like quality of his own. His almond shaped face creased in the corner when he smiled, forming a fish-like shape.
In the midst of their conversation, the small cat emerged and stepped into Hoseok’s lap. She was purring softly, Hoseok letting her settle and rub against his hoodie.
‘She likes to feel me out, see if I am comfortable…’
She began to stretch, plopping down in his lap and gently Jung Hoseok reached out and stroked the back of her head with his knuckle.
‘She’s purring…’ Jicheol remarked, fascinated, ‘So loud, wow, like…’
He trailed off, Jung Hoseok reached over and took his hand from his lap and brought it back to his.
‘She’s so soft, isn’t she?’
She is.
Jung Hoseok’s fingers are resting on his, delicately tracing the arch of the small animal, guiding him.
*
It’s been many weeks alone, but Jicheol thinks he has found his stride.
Mau cannot be taught a more reasonable behaviour like a dog might, as Jung Hoseok had expressed. Instead urged and guided, especially one as frightened and traumatised as her.
She did not like the sound of his coffee machine, nor the sound of Dongwook when he laughed too loud.
‘Has she broken anything yet?’
No, however Jicheol had a near miss when he left the glass door to his liquor cabinet open. His lurch and scurry over in his slides made Mau hiss and dash away, to such a degree that he felt bad for the rest of the week. He fed her her favourite treats and he noticed then a look of ridicule on the cat’s expression that made him feel that much more incompetent.
Jung Hoseok’s communication was fleeting, his time precious more than ever now that he was off the grid for his training period. In the meantime, Jicheol was on his own, and that made having company over tricky.
‘You’re too old to commit to marriage, but have changed your mind on fatherhood, huh?’ Dongwook joked, as Jicheol paused their game so that he could feed her during her appointed hour. He wouldn’t forget, and neither would she, staring at him with her one good eye while the clock ticked down.
‘It’s decidedly not an adoption, but a foster situation.’ he decided to phrase the arrangement, ‘Her real father is off at war.’
‘Is dating still off the cards?’
Jicheol paused, staring into his drink.
‘That was supposed to be a joke.’ Dongwook scoffed, ‘Lighten up.’
‘I know.’
‘Why are you so quiet? You’ve already considered it, haven’t you?’
‘I might be too old for him.’
Dongwook snorted.
‘Most guys our age's first instinct is to find a nice girl fresh out of high school.’
That was a sobering, crude thought that put him off his drink. He placed it back down on the table.
‘I don’t think we’re compatible.’
‘Any female friends?’
Jicheol certainly hasn’t been scoping Dispatch for any rumours, but something about j-hope’s music and persona was a little different to the neighbour he became acquainted with.
‘His preference might be women, he has a hip-hop angle going for him.’
‘Hip-hop? They still make that?’
‘I can play his album if you want?’
‘You bought his album?’
‘He gifted it to me.’
Dongwook gave him an incredulous look, so Jicheol shrugged.
‘I may have placed an additional order before that, too.’
‘Alright, well let’s put it on and listen.’
‘If you ever happen to meet him, please do not in way imply anything from our conversation.’
‘I’ll try to be a gentleman to your cat husband.’
*
The small, fleeting messages and photos were not enough. Hoseok finally felt full relief when he actually knelt down and gently cradled her head. She came to him, with not exactly recognition, but a levelled curiosity, and he felt proud of her progress.
‘She’s gotten fat.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘No, that’s good.’ Hoseok laughed lightly, ‘She was such a small thing.’
Hoseok was about to ask more questions about her health, how she was adapting, what food and toys were working and what wasn’t, but Gong Yoo got in before him. Crossing his arms and leaning on the wall.
‘You’ve gotten big, too.’ he expressed appreciatively, ‘You have good muscle tone.’
It was hot and Hoseok was wearing a tight t-shirt and his more defined biceps evidently showed. He appreciated the compliment. The actor was of a broad, muscular build. The gym must have been a regular haunt for a guy like him.
‘Wait until you see my abs.’ Hoseok joked, standing up straight, ‘You could do laundry on them.’
‘Is that meant to be an invitation?’ Gong Yoo chuckled, smiling in that slightly lopsided way of his. Flirtatious banter with colleagues on camera was nothing new for Hoseok, but in private it always gave him the jitters because they had no audience and this was purely for the sport.
‘I’m…I’m not a meathead, I mean…’ Hoseok said, laughing forcefully and trying not to blush, ‘I mean, so many guys go to the military and get jacked up and think they’re hot shit…’
He just said hot shit to Gong Yoo, and he’s definitely flushed with embarrassment now. Oh, no.
To his shock, the actor laughed.
‘Trainee-talk like that is not fit for normal society,’ he smirked, but his voice was soft, ‘Hyung-nim, will make an exception though.’
The way he said hyung-nim was ironic, drawing attention to their age difference. Hoseok felt it acutely, used to weeks of his peers being ten years younger than him while his seniors were his contemporaries. A part of it felt nice, returning to a sense of simple structure. Gong Yoon was his sunbae in age and their career context. He appreciates a restore to order.
‘I curse a lot, just so you know.’ Hoseok admitted meekly, ‘I will at some future point again swear, rashly and without thought. I hope you don’t mind.’
The actor sighed and tipped his head to the side, staring at Hoseok in such a way that he immediately felt like a strange, badly behaved cat. He didn’t know if he liked the sensation, but it did excite him in a way he couldn’t put a finger on.
‘My friend Lee Dongwook has expressed an interest in receiving an autographed Jack in the Box album.’
He stared at Hoseok for a few moments, and he realised it was a request.
‘Oh, yes of course.’ Hoseok stood up straight, then realised: ‘Lee Dongwook? Reaper? Wants my autograph…sure! Can I have his? Wait, no…’
He laughed awkwardly, stumbling over his words, especially as Gong Yoo laughed too, this time quietly and scratching his chin. When he smiled, eyes disappearing and his laugh lines appearing, Hoseok felt rather fond of him. Like he was a home room teacher, or a dance instructor, or…or…
He felt himself flush, grow more jittery as the thought progressed into something horribly filthy. It was inappropriate, very. This is what many weeks cooped up does to a guy.
‘Sorry, I guess I’m not used to speaking to people that much, or at least real people.’ Hoseok shook his head, then laughed again, ‘That, and some sleep. Yes, Mau and I could do with some sleep.’
‘Of course.’ Gong Yoo peeled himself from the wall, so he could go get the carrier, ‘Please, spend some precious time together.’
*
The apartment was empty without her.
Jicheol could hear the clock ticking, the crisp sounds of the pages in his book, and not a single patter of her feet.
Damn, she’s only upstairs, but this hurts, huh?
He trained his ears to try to make out the sound of Jung Hoseok as much as he could through the state-of-the-art soundproofed floors. Whether he was cooking or washing up, maybe watching television…whichever way he wanted to spend his holiday.
Was it such a weird feeling to want to join them?
‘No…’ he told himself, shaking his head. It’s Hoseok’s cat, as much as it was his, and they deserve some alone time.
He wondered if Jung Hoseok appreciated sanctuary, after spending so long sleeping in the company of others. The time away had filled him out more. He had been skinny before he left, bordering on concerning, and now he finally looks like he has had a good meal. His skin is glowing and he held a very determined glint in his eye. Yet, something about him felt so small when he knelt down to caress his cat. Like he was crumpling under the weight of relief. He looked so small then, the noises he made so subdued. He wasn’t so much a moodmaker in that moment. No, nothing could be conjured but what was already present.
His phone buzzed, he nearly ignored it. Nearly. He took a look at the message.
*
I think she misses you
Hoseok sent the text, sighing. Mau had grown used to her routine, her new home, and here Hoseok was wrecking it. Making it all about himself. She wouldn’t eat, and as soon as he coaxed her from her box, she ran to her usual safe space.
His phone buzzed.
I miss her too
A sadness burns in Hoseok’s chest, it was something he knew he couldn’t fix.
Will I bring her home?
He waited a few moments, and the response came.
I’m outside
He went to his front door.
Gong Yoo was there in a large oversized hoodie, looming over Hoseok. He looked oddly cuddly, rather than scary, even as he apologised for his presence even though Hoseok was the one who disturbed him at an odd hour.
‘Sorry, is it alright if I come in?’
‘Sure, I was going to bring her home, but you can take her if you like…’ he mumbled, quickly wiping his nose so that his neighbour might not see his sadness.
He did, anyway. His attentiveness acute but his sadness blatantly obvious at that. Once Mau came out to feed, her familiar human present, Gong Yoo turned to Hoseok.
‘Are you alright?’
‘I know it’s not me, it’s a lot more to it than that, but I guess a part of me can’t really cope with this rejection.’ Hoseok sighed, sitting down on his sofa, ‘I’m sorry.’
His neighbour sat beside him tentatively, Hoseok noticed he was wearing slides like his own. His feet a little bigger, toes a little longer. Strong and masculine, but no weird calluses or veins. He must get a pedicure quite often and it impressed Hoseok profoundly, especially in comparison to his own feet which right now were veiny from running and covered in blisters and plasters.
‘At the risk of sounding obvious…’ the elder spoke, ‘Is there something else bothering you?’
It made Hoseok laugh at least, clasping his hands between his knees and leaning forward. He rocked slightly at that, finding comfort in the repetition even witnessed by the man he owed so much to.
‘I don’t know what I’m doing.’
‘How could you?’ Gong Yoo expressed, ‘Nobody does.’
‘I know, but out of all people who should know, I feel like I should know.’ Hoseok sighed, ‘I…have had a lot of pressure on my shoulders, and this is the first time in my life that I feel as if I don’t have that. Yet, I know this will return again and I will be back to square one.’
He wasn’t making sense.
‘I understand.’
How, Hoseok couldn’t fathom, but he continued rambling.
‘To make matters worse, I can’t even enjoy this feeling of release.’ Hoseok shook his head, ‘I can’t make music. I can’t dance. I can’t watch TV, read a book, laugh or even think for myself. Yet, this emptiness was something I wanted for so long and I am squandering it by not overcoming it altogether.’
He turned and looked at his neighbour, the kind mature man who Hoseok sucked into his problems. Hoseok has plenty of other people to talk to, family, friends, and of course his dear members from BTS, but unfortunately, celebrity actor Gong Yoo who happens to be his downstairs neighbour, is victim.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be.’
He reached out and placed a hand over Hoseok’s on his knee, he looked down at his. His skin, as tanned as Hoseok’s is from being out in the sun, but stronger somehow.
His heart beat rapidly, in a way only this man might make him.
‘I-I…I may want to hear your opinion on something…’
‘Ask me.’
‘It’s personal, maybe too personal.’
‘Ask anyway.’ his voice was gentle, grainy at that and Hoseok immediately softened.
‘I’m getting older now, and I should be thinking about settling down and getting married.’ Hoseok expressed, ‘However, I don’t think that’s what I want to do.’
‘Hm, you thought you would come talk to an expert? An old ahjussi like me?’
‘Wait, no!’ Hoseok groaned, sinking his face into his hand, ‘You’re not an ahjussi, not at all.’
He bit his lip, holding back professions of how handsome he was, how attractive he was. He’s an actor, he has the gist of his desirability. He doesn’t need to hear it from Hoseok.
Gong Yoo laughed softly, hand covering Hoseok’s again as he patted him.
‘You’re feeling a bit pressured to speed things up in life, yes?’
‘...yes.’
‘You’re afraid that if you hold off, it may become too late?’
‘I guess…’ Hoseok said, then stopped, ‘I just feel like, I could regret not doing what everyone else is doing. If I do what I really want to do then everyone would just be upset…even if I’m happy…then I might still upset them…’
‘Hoseok-ssi, you know I upset a lot of people.’
Hoseok nodded, biting his lip and feeling as if he really put his foot in it now, especially targeting a personal aspect of his guest.
‘I know.’ he whispered, ‘I just…I just…don’t…’
‘I upset people, but I am happy I do.’ he murmured, face close to his and those big dark eyes focused on his, ‘I’m at peace.’
‘You are, are you?’
‘Hm, I am.’ he nodded, eyes locked on his and the assuredness of them comforting, ‘Hoseok-ssi, when I was on break from service, I had never been as depressed in my life. Wouldn’t you agree?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you want to get out of here?’
It was late. No, it was early. It will be light soon.
‘Please.’
*
It felt weird being out in public. His typical haunt was either the gym or fishing on the open sea, away from the prying eyes of strangers. Here, they were in the park. Not at a suitable hour for normal people, but certainly those stumbling from clubs or from sleep to jog the length of water. Hoseok put on a pair of distracting jeans that were too tight for his ass, an oversized hoodie and a face mask. Jicheol also wore a face mask, which made their exchanges as they walked a tad muffled and therefore difficult to hear.
‘The Han River is beautiful at sunrise.’ Jicheol remarked, in quite possibly the most polite expression of small talk he could muster. He wasn’t sure why he needed to be so matter of fact, the sight of the rising red sun was awe inspiring and tremendous, their silly little walk was rather dull in comparison. Or, it became wondrous as a result, he couldn’t decide yet.
‘Yes, it is.’ Hoseok nodded, picking at the elastic of the mask, which dug into the back of his ear, ‘Lovely weather.’
‘Yes, it is.’
They had no words for each other, and Jicheol felt as if he had failed at actually warming the younger man to him. The miracle of a beautiful morning did not raise their spirit, nor dispel their lingering fatigue from insomnia.
‘Coffee?’
He ordered for the both of them, making a generalised guess. They perched at a spot near the bridge, Hoseok lowered his mask freely. Jicheol instead opting to take quick sips before covering himself again.
‘I’m sorry, is this place too public, for you?’ Hoseok expressed, seeing through his discomfort. How ridiculous it must be to be paranoid at a God-forsaken hour like this.
Jicheol made an expression of indifference through the point of a shrug.
‘I have a feeling of discomfort, being in public places.’ he admitted, ‘I feel as if I cannot enjoy myself freely, even now.’
Hoseok pried at the sticker on his coffee cup and Jicheol watched him get his nail under the paper with mutual, keen interest.
‘I’m watched.’ Hoseok said, ‘In the shower. When I am eating. When I try to sleep.’
Jicheol knew the feeling all too well. He undertook his military experience on the cusp of the explosion of his popularity in the late 2000’s. While it was a time before social media, it was a free-for-all in terms of borderline harassment from all angles.
‘You must remain strong.’ he told him, ‘Show them no sign of weakness, that it gets to you.’
Hoseok lifted his gaze, the faded look giving way to a sort of raucous grin Jicheol recognised. The idol mimed whipping his clothes off with a sound effect. Slug-slugging food with a spoon into his mouth.
Jicheol laughed, then stopped and looked around in case anybody recognised him.
No one was looking at them. They were safe, for now.
He turned back and Jung Hoseok was watching him and for once he did not avert his gaze once locked.
‘It must be hard, being a celebrity.’ he remarked softly, if oddly. Like he was spilling words without a filter.
‘Bangtan Sonyeondan are worldwide famous.’
‘j-hope is a little more understated.’ Hoseok shrugged, in a humble way, ‘Gong Yoo, is a household name.’
‘Jicheol.’
‘Hm?’
‘My name is Gong Jicheol, Gong Yoo is my stage name.’
By the expression on Hoseok’s face, this was news.
‘Oh.’ he stood up straight, ‘Do you prefer if I call you…?’
‘Jicheol-hyung.’ he instructed him, ‘I was joking last night, but I do actually feel old when you call me hyung-nim.’
The embarrassed expression on Hoseok’s face slowly slipped into that of a nervous smile.
‘Jicheol-hyung.’ he said, like he was testing the words, ‘I am glad that we have been properly introduced.’
‘Agreed, and as the older person in this situation, I would rather we drop any pretence and speak as peers.’
Hoseok nodded.
‘Well, while we are at it, my name isn’t actually j-hope.’
*
Jicheol didn’t know how to tell him, with his busy schedule, but didn’t want to tell him over text.
Whenever you have free time, can you please call me?
Hoseok called him as soon as he was off duty. Jicheol anticipated it, having the particular time ingrained into his core. The point in the day he felt lightest, even after all these years.
‘Is Mau okay?’
‘She has the flu.’
Jicheol had noticed the cat was spending a lot of time hiding, not eating and had begun making these terrible wracking cough noises that were so unlike her it was disturbing. He brought her to the same vet that Hoseok recommended and got her some antibiotics.
He related this to Hoseok carefully.
‘I have arranged for her to receive a vaccine.’ he told him, ‘Truthfully, I never considered the possibility that cats could receive vaccinations. Perhaps I am a bad owner.’
‘You are not a bad owner.’
‘Yes, I am, Hoseok.’ Jicheol sighed, pressing his head into his hand, ‘I had to leave her into a cattery last week while I was away working. If it wasn’t for me, she wouldn’t be sick.’
‘Hyung…’ Hoseok said softly down the phone line, ‘Stop that. You do everything for her. You care for her so much. You knew exactly what to do when you knew she was sick. You can’t be everywhere at once. You are only doing your best. You are not a bad owner.’
Jicheol sighed, but was admittedly comforted by Hoseok’s words.
‘Thank you, Hoseok-ah…’ he sighed, running a hand through his hair, ‘I am sorry to disturb you with this news during your very precious time.’
‘My time is precious, but I can decide how I want to spend it.’ Hoseok stated, ‘This is how I want to spend it, hyung. I want to help her any way I can. I want to help you.’
He paused at the end and Jicheol didn’t know what to say, so Hoseok continued, finishing his thought: ‘I appreciate you, hyung. More than you can ever imagine. Your photographs, your words of encouragement…thank you.’
Jicheol drummed his fingers on his knee, trying to sum up the right words of acknowledgment, but Hoseok came up with them for him.
‘I hope you know that.’
‘I know, now I do.’ Jicheol told him, ‘And, it’s the least I can do, Hoseok-ah.’
*
‘He has given you another cat?’ Dongwook laughed, ‘How?’
He laughed again even before Jicheol could give his pathetic excuse, which irked him because he was right. Jung Hoseok had him wrapped around his finger.
‘Mau gets lonely, being by herself in the apartment all day while I am out shooting,’ he defended his position, ‘She will get sick being in a cattery so much…a friend was the most ideal option!’
Dongwook had a puss face and a raised eyebrow. He said such words, yet he held KongKong on his lap. She was a beautiful white cat with short ears. He couldn’t understand why she had been abandoned, why it was so hard to home her, until her neediness became clear. Hoseok really knew how to find the most unfortunate creatures.
‘She needs a lot of attention.’
She purred loudly, stretched out on Dongwook’s lap. Mau watched form the shadows, tense and ill-trusting of this latest princess in their home.
‘Is this guy contributing anything at all?’ Dongwook pointed out, ‘Or is he being a deadbeat dad?’
Jung Hoseok had been contributing quite a lot—money towards cat food, vet bills and cat sitting when necessary. It wasn’t as if Gong Yoo couldn’t afford it himself, but if Jung Hoseok was serious about raising the two cats together, then he appreciated this gesture of good will.
‘He’s a responsible individual.’
Dongwook gave him that look again.
‘Dating may not be your priority, but you need to escape whatever entrapment this pretty idol has you in.’
‘The cats are not entrapment.’
‘What happens when his enlistment finishes? A guy his age will be looking to settle down and get married. Very soon you will be a single Dad to two cats. No social life. No sex. Not when these two are waking you up in the morning.’
He said the last part like it was a bad thing, Jicheol adored when he awoke to the two cats in his bed. However, he raised a good point about the longevity of this arrangement, but in their conversations together, Jung Hoseok never brought up the topic. Where will they live? What if one of them decides to move? So, he had no idea how to answer this.
‘I committed, this is my responsibility.’ Jicheol tutted, grabbing his drink and sitting down, ‘My sex-life is non-existent this minute, anyways.’
‘Mm-hm, have you lost your virility in your old age? All you can do is flirt with young men and can’t even follow through without acquiring animals.’
‘I’m not that old.’ Jicheol insisted, picking up a cushion and hitting his friend in the head with it, ‘He’s not that young either.’
Dongwook flinched, KongKong jumping from his lap and finding somewhere else to sit. He grabbed the cushion and flung it back, shit-eating grin on his face.
‘Not that young…he was probably in grade school when you started your first movie.’
‘Here we go.’
‘He was in middle school when you started military service.’
‘Stop.’
‘He probably doesn’t even know what a cassette tape is.’
‘Okay, so he’s young.’ Jicheol sighed, lying back and closing his eyes in defeat, ‘But he’s mature for his age, I know that he’s committed to this cat family.’
Dongwook officially lost it, laughing so hard that Mau scurried to her safe place.
*
Hoseok met KongKong in person for the first time later that week while back on leave.
‘Oh shit…she is possibly the cutest cat ever.’ Hoseok gushed, letting her climb all over him, ‘Other than Mau, of course.’
Mau had grown even fatter since Hoseok last visited, much to his chagrin. It’s glandular, technically.
‘She is very pretty.’ Jicheol acknowledged, but was looking at Hoseok, ‘I see they’re letting you grow out your hair.’
Hoseok grinned, a hand on their cat crawling over his knee.
‘My privilege as an instructor.’
‘Hm, won’t be long now, how many months is it?’
‘Don’t start, I’m counting down the days.’ Hoseok tittered, before reaching into his pocket, ‘This is for you.’
Jicheol looked confused, but took the envelope Hoseok offered him. He opened it up and laughed.
‘Ah, thank you.’
It was a gift voucher for a local book store, quite a dull present for the man’s birthday, and Hoseok felt that with everything Jicheol has done it was quite a unsatisfactory gift.
‘I’m sorry I couldn’t go and pick out something for you to read.’ Hoseok expressed, ‘I asked my bandmate Namjoon for some recommendations, but I didn’t know what genre you like, so.’
Jicheol nodded.
‘I appreciate your gift, Hoseok.’ he said, ‘I can only express my disappointment that I did not get you a gift for your birthday.’
Hoseok shook his head, that was the last thought on his mind.
‘I was on duty, bring me for dinner sometime.’
‘Do you like barbeque?’
‘That’s a silly question.’
‘Tell me how much you miss tender meat.’
It was an honest, innocent expression, but the phrasing made Hoseok blush.
‘Quite a lot.’
‘Please, let me take you for dinner.’
‘For my birthday?’
‘Well, it’s mine too.’ the older man smiled, and stood, ‘Come, let’s get your coat.’
*
Months ticked by.
Jicheol committed to his work, travelling when needed. He did not like leaving his two cats alone for long, and when he returned, he always spent as much time with them as possible. They could be a little standoffish, even meek for a few hours once back in the apartment, but with time settled in again and things returned to normal.
He made sure to always keep Jung Hoseok informed of their whereabouts, and his.
Their conversations drifted mostly between Mau and KongKong, at first. Hoseok requested pictures and Jicheol provided. In turn, they progressed into small talk about their own personal life. Hoseok wanted to know what he was filming and if it would be in movie theatres. Jicheol wanted to know if doing the 40K march was harder as a trainee or as an instructor. Whenever Jicheol sent him photographs of fish he caught while out at sea, Hoseok sent him back photos of the fishcakes on the metal serving tray he had for lunch, which he had downloaded from Naver because phones were not allowed in the canteen.
The messages were fleeting, in passing, and certainly not everyday. However, something about them felt honest and considerate, like they were signing off with ink to paper. Thoughtful, even with the AI videos Jicheol sent of the cats talking in his own voice. Hoseok sent thumbs up and laughing emojis each time. Jicheol could practically hear his violent laugh through the screen, and it made him smile.
‘Are you seeing anybody right now?’ was a question people have asked him regularly for the past twenty years, and in the last 5 years with particular concern. He has never expressed a straightforward answer for them, and certainly not now, but sometimes it was the little things that were enough. Relationships were personal, joy could be found in the romantic and the platonic. Not everybody could understand that.
Still, a private, quiet part of his heart sang.
It was Hoseok’s last visit home, days before his final tenure on military grounds, when Jicheol popped the question.
‘Hey, uh Hoseok?’
‘Yeah?’ Hoseok tipped his head to the side, a funny little habit of his and kind of like a little squirrel with those big eyes. He had Mau in his arms, cradling her to his chest as they watched television. KongKong was eyeing them both, trying to figure out a way to demand the most affection.
‘Do you know what a cassette tape is?’
‘What, do you want to know where to buy some?’
He was completely misunderstanding him.
‘I was wondering if you ever used any tapes growing up?’
Hoseok, bless him, seemed absolutely clueless that it was an important question for Jicheol’s personal sanity.
‘Sure.’ he said, grinning toothily, ‘We had them in grade school.’
Well, it wasn’t the worst possible answer.
*
‘You’re always welcome to visit during my week.’
Hoseok was pleased by the invitation, although concerned that he had been overbearing for long enough.
‘I would like that.’ he said that, to be polite but also promised himself to keep this relationship respectful, for the sake of their cats.
‘You no longer have commitments to the Republic of Korea Armed Forces.’ Jicheol handed him a cup of fresh coffee, ‘How do you plan to spend your freedom?’
Hoseok took the drink appreciatively, like a lot of his exchanges with his hyung, it was a moment he counted as a blessing in the last 18 months of his life.
‘I have the next six months with work planned out, actually?’
‘Oh? Do tell.’ he smiled at him, leaning on the counter and inviting, as if Hoseok hadn’t told him so already, his plans. Humouring him and making him smile in turn.
‘I will travel to LA in due course, to work on some music.’ Hoseok started, none of this news, ‘I will continue promotions for Louis Vuitton as a brand ambassador.’
Jicheol pretended to choke on his coffee, hand on his broad chest.
‘Ah, what an honour, wearing the same clothes as Bangtan Sonyeondan j-hope.’
Hoseok snickered, slapping the older man on his thigh but softly so it didn’t land a sound.
‘I am working on a single too for the brand, well, I will be a feature.’
Jicheol nodded, quite impressed by this remark even with his proximity to musicians.
‘How exciting is that!’ he smiled, ‘I wish I could sing, I have a lot of dissatisfaction being an actor, I have limited charm.’
‘That’s not true.’ Hoseok scoffed, ‘I heard your singing, you’re a natural.’
‘You’ve heard my singing?’
He was teasing him. Hoseok has searched for videos of his neighbour singing before, but he had a good excuse.
‘You have an OST for Big.’ Hoseok told him, ‘I watched it when you returned from the military…I was a big fan of Coffee Prince…’
Defending himself, he also exposed himself a little more as a fan of his work. It wasn’t as if it was odd, the actor being very accomplished, but he couldn’t help but feeling as if he was doing something perverse in admitting his interest.
‘Ah...’ Jicheol raised his eyebrows, his smirk somehow even sexier, ‘Well, I am very excited to see what you do now that you have completed your military service. Isn’t that funny?’
Hoseok couldn’t help but smile, hiding it by taking another drink from his cup.
‘Yeah, kinda.’
*
Jicheol flew too close to the sun, discussing singing with his neighbour. It turned out he had a karaoke set and invited him over on the eve of his trip to LA, to party with his member, Kim Seokjin. He, too, has completed his military service earlier that summer. For the entire country, each member coming back felt like royal trumpets, proclaiming the dawn of a glorious era.
Seokjin is an incredibly handsome man, around Jung Hoseok’s age and has a capacity to make his fellow idol belly laugh so hard that he falls over. Jicheol is glad that he has the cats in his own apartment that night.
‘Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah-nahhhhh-!’ they sang, arms around each other’s shoulders while Hoseok recorded them on his phone, ‘Hey, Jude!’
Hoseok pushed him to sing a song of his own, and he picked a recent hit that he recognised from the radio, No Sad Song for My Broken Heart by K.Will. The two idols were good company, swaying and cheering him on through devastating lyrics and the questionable key he sang in.
‘Hyung, you’re a treasure.’ Hoseok told him, somehow ironic and yet with a sober truthfulness. Jicheol could only scoff, bashful by his constant sincerity.
After their party, they walked Kim Seokjin to his car, and returned to their apartment.
‘Night cap?’
Hoseok smiled, nodding and followed Jicheol to his apartment.
The two cats stirred at their return, but remained in their perches while they sprawled on the sofa together.
‘I can’t believe I will be gone again soon.’
‘Not for long, I hope.’
‘I’m back again, but gone so soon…aren’t you sick of me?’
Jicheol couldn’t get enough of him, but that wasn’t Hoseok’s concern right now. He reached out and fixed the younger man’s collar, folded under oddly, ‘After all this time, I do think a holiday is needed.’
Hoseok reached up and fixed the collar himself, avoiding his eyes.
‘It will be work, more like it.’ he sighed, ‘I wish I could take them with me…’
‘They will be safe here.’
‘That’s not what I mean, it’s just…’ Hoseok sighed and bit his lip, staring up at him then closing his eyes, lying his head back on his arm, ‘Never mind.’
‘What?’ Jicheol huffed out a laugh, watching him squirm then throw up his hands in frustration.
‘You know what I mean.’
‘No, tell me.’ Jicheol huffed, reaching out again and tugging his cheek, ‘So flush!’
Hoseok swiped his face.
‘I told you not to point that out...’
‘That you go red with alcohol?’ he laughed, ‘That you flush so easily? You and your bandmate were pink earlier, it was rather cute.’
‘We were cute? Or, I was cute?’
‘Youth.’ Jicheol scoffed, ‘Ready to take on the world.’
‘I’m not young…I’m thirty y’know…’
‘You’re younger than me, a lot younger.’
‘Not by much…’ Hoseok shot him a look again, ‘I know what I’m doing.’
They paused, staring at each other. Neither of them dared to move. Jicheol felt naked under the younger man’s gaze in such a way he never unexpected to feel. It made him feel vulnerable in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time. He lingered on Hoseok’s face, the contours and shapes, seeking truth and testament.
‘What do you think you’re doing, Hoseok-ah?’
Jicheol felt the hair stand up on his arm once the young man’s fingers brush his knuckles. His hands are beautiful, wrists graceful and his touch ever so careful.
‘You can feel it, right?’ Hoseok whispered, his voice dropping to a low hum. Jicheol returned his gaze, staring into his eyes. He’s beautiful too, particularly up close like this. He couldn’t help but notice it, the more time they spent together.
Can you feel it?
‘Hoseok…’ Jicheol sighed, taking Hoseok’s hand and turning it over in his, ‘You don’t know what you are getting into, it’s one thing committing to the livelihood of these animals, but…’
Hoseok pressed his lips together, thoughtfully and turned his attention to their hands. Jicheol caressed his thumb with his. A small, thoughtless gesture of his own subconscious fighting against him. Such affection, betraying his own words, and Hoseok lifted his eyes to his again. This time, defiant.
‘I know what I’m doing.’ he asserted, eyes small and wet from drinking, ‘I know what I want.’
‘I wasn’t sure if you were the type.’
‘What, gay?’
‘Well, reckless.’
‘Are you reckless, hyung?’
‘I’m sure you can make your guess.’
‘I don’t like to speculate.’ Hoseok sighed, taking their hands and lifting it to his face. Jicheol fell under his command,and ran his fingers over his cheek and to his ear, it was folded up top and delicate like the rest of him. Hoseok was warm, his skin soft and only the bare crease of a laugh line by his eyes as he beamed back at him. ‘I do have a theory.’
‘You do, do you?’
‘Am I wrong?’
Jicheol felt broken down, but he wasn’t unhappy about it. It was a kind of wall he built up that he wasn’t protective about with the right people. Hoseok barely needed to slip through the cracks, Jicheol could throw the doors open.
They were close already, inches from each other’s face but Jicheol sealed the gap. Hoseok sighed against him as they kissed, his lips were soft and gave against his. Their hands came up to each other, Jicheol to hold his waist and Hoseok to caress him softly. He was a gentle man, the idol. Careful and tentative with him, like the elder was the one with the least power here. He broke their kiss to ask Jicheol, ‘Is this alright, hyung?’
Jicheol answered with another kiss to his lips, drawing back to stare at him. Hoseok answered with one of his brilliant smiles and soft laughs, flowering from his chest delightfully. He knee grazed Jicheol’s thigh affectionately where they pressed against each other.
‘I like you.’ he said quietly, eyes sparkling with a certain shyness that Jicheol kissed from him, ‘Do you like me?’
It felt pointless to discuss the particularities of that now with him in his arms, but he humoured him.
‘Of course.’ Jicheol kissed him, ‘I’m rather fond of you.’
‘Ah…’ Hoseok sighed against him, relaxing as he began kissing down his throat, ‘I’m so happy.’
Their words of affirmation to each other were very simple, but sweet. A delightful stir in Jicheol’s chest confirmed this in such a pleasant way he had not experienced in some time and forgot it could exist. It was akin to a schoolyard crush, yet also this warmth as they caressed each other was magnifying to a heat the longer they stirred together. Jicheol realized that his feelings were held back quite a bit and now loosened, they came undone so easily like noodles spilling from a pot. Hoseok was lean and wiggly like that, arms snaking around him and his waist perplexingly sinuous. After all this time, the military couldn’t take that out of him, he is still a dancer through and through...
Their kisses had deepened, his tongue inside his mouth and they gasped as they broke apart. Jicheol stared at him, his reddened wet lips and blown out eyes as Hoseok reached up and brushed his fingers through his hair.
‘I’m going to LA for a while…’ he said, stating the obvious.
‘I know.’
‘I won’t be back for weeks…’
Ah, that concern. The pleading in his eyes.
‘I’ll call you.’
‘Please, and kiss them for me?’
‘Of course, I will send photos too.’
‘Thank you.’
Jicheol kissed him again and lifted Hoseok into his lap, letting him wrap his arms around his shoulders and groan softly. He reached down and put Hoseok’s hands on his waist.
‘You’re so strong, hyung…’ Hoseok gushed, but could barely get the words out. Jicheol felt hungry and chased his mouth again, ‘Shit…oh…’
Hm, there slips the swearing Hoseok promised. The idol moaned as Jicheol carded his hands through his hair, he arched in his hold, pliant against him and soft.
‘Hyung…’ he whimpered against him, pressing into his lap, ‘Please…’
He seemed to be begging, for what, Jicheol would find out. In the meantime, he reached another hand down and cupped his ass through his jeans. He didn’t know if he was moving too fast, it wasn’t exactly gentlemanly behaviour, but he thought Hoseok wouldn’t mind.
Hoseok moaned again, putting a hand over his and squeezing down so that Jicheol might cup him more than he had tried. He was a skinny thing, even with military muscle, and was limber in his movements. So much energy. Where did he get this energy? He wanted a piece of it.
Hoseok rocked in his lap as they kissed. He felt his heat, his passion. He wondered if he has had sex recently, in the last year, or if it has been longer. Jicheol could be the first person he has had sex with in some time, and sort-of vice versa. He has no excuse, not really. It’s been some months. He’s been busy. He’s had things on his mind.
Such “things” was currently making the most outrageous noises from kisses and dry humping alone. It was making him crazy.
‘Hoseok…’ he paused, grabbing him by the chin and looking him in the eye for his sobriety, ‘Do you want this?’
Hoseok was initially dazed, then lucid.
‘Of course…’ the idol gasped, rocking back so he sat upright on his lap, ‘I…I wanted it for a while, actually…’
Jicheol had wondered if the man had thought about him when he was in the military in such a way. It was gratifying, in the pure and jealous way he wanted someone’s entire attention, to know that he too must have felt unobtainable to Hoseok, like it had been for the elder.
‘Do you want to come to bed with me?’
*
Jicheol was strong, Hoseok knew that, but to feel it was another.
Fuck, Hoseok could count on his hand how many times a man has lifted him up like this, and he realises now that it was way too few for his own liking. The older man had such strong shoulders, slinging Hoseok into one hand to prop open his bedroom door before kicking it closed behind him.
As soon as he moved backwards onto the bed, bringing Hoseok back on top of him, he was kissing his mouth. Fuck, his mouth. Hoseok found him so handsome but he always found that he held so much character. Whenever he smiled, made a snide comment or simply twitched it in a private thought, made Hoseok want to kiss him. Now, having the man kiss him enough to send him breathless was a whole other expression.
Unlike his words, which were slow to come but thoughtful, his kisses were commanding and passionate. Hoseok tried to make as little sound as possible just so he could hear and feel the low groan from the back of his throat.
He was everything Hoseok fantasised about him, but more.
His hands were strong, his grip commanding, but he was ever so slow and torturous. Lowering and cupping the bulge in Hoseok’s jeans, like that made all the difference. All Hoseok could do was rub against him, feel his cock strain against his ridiculous choice of clothing and hope he could remove them as soon as possible without coming across as a slut. Fuck, he’s totally acting like it, isn’t he? He shouldn’t have had that extra drink.
Jicheol was wearing a polo shirt. Hoseok reached down while they were still kissing, open mouthed and sloppy at this point, and undid the top button.
Well. Gong Jicheol thought this was the funniest thing in the world, he started to laugh and couldn’t stop. Hoseok had never heard him laugh so hard in the time he had known him, and that was saying a lot. He pulled Hoseok down against him on the bed, and of course he couldn’t help but react in the same manner.
‘I didn’t mean to make you laugh.’ Hoseok groaned, closing his eyes and resting his head on his pec. He was solid warmth, he leaned into his touch as Jicheol raised his hand to run it through the ends of his hair where it typically stuck up straight.
‘I couldn’t help it.’ Jicheol said breathlessly, pecking him on the forehead, ‘Here, sit up and let me.’
Hoseok unpeeled himself from the man’s body and watched as he removed his shirt overhead. An arm’s reach away, Hoseok could perceive him in full now. His ruffled hair, his red and bitten lips, and the miles of his dark, uncovered skin. Hoseok, admittedly, could be a little superficial when it came to physiques and this was no exception.
‘Your abs are incredible.’
Jicheol scoffed, tossing his shirt, ‘I have a technique.’
‘I feel inspired.’
Jicheol laughed again, his eyes creased, and he smiled, tipping his head to the side, Hoseok could see his laugh lines. He loved them, and the dimple that popped when he smiled all lopsided. His uneven eyes, one monolidded, the other with a folded lid. The shadow of hair on his lip and chin. He was so fucking sexy it was unreal. He extended his hand towards his.
‘C’mere, Hoseok-ah…’
Hoseok did not need to be beckoned twice, taking the man’s hand in his and letting him take his waist in his hands and kiss him passionately. He took his cue, whatever it may be, he would follow. He let the man undress him, removing his shirt overhead. He felt small in comparison, even with his military bulk, he tried to shed in the last month, but also larger than he ever was in ways he wasn’t comfortable with. That didn’t matter, the older man looking at him like he was the most precious thing.
‘You’re so handsome.’ he said, as if he seeing right into Hoseok’s soul.
Hoseok did not know how to answer, and simply placed his hand on the back of his head and drew their mouths back together, let himself be swallowed by Jicheol. Everything he could give, he wanted to give to him. He wanted to prove to him his assuredness, how confident he was in himself, that every kind expression Jicheol waxed about him could be materialised.
‘Please, Hoseok, can I touch you?’ Jicheol asked, hands on his jeans. Hoseok answered by undoing the top button, bringing his hand down to his crotch. Jicheol sighed out, ‘I need more than that.’
‘Hyung, I’m not drunk, I mean, I want this, I want you.’ Hoseok spat out, groaning then as the man’s hand slipped to the front of his boxers and pressed against his length, ‘Please, touch me, keep touching me, I want you to touch me.’
Jicheol answered by doing as Hoseok wanted, finger splaying into his jeans to grab his cock through fabric, releasing it slowly from the confines of his pants and once in the light pressing his thumb firmly into the wet patch of his underwear.
‘How horny are you?’
‘Very.’ Hoseok admitted, feeling his dick throb in the man’s hand, ‘How about you?’
He took Hoseok’s hand down to the front of his pants, letting him spray his fingers there.
‘Ah…’ Hoseok sighed, ‘You’re big.’
‘Okay?’
‘I like a challenge.’
Jicheol finished pulling his pants down his thighs, before reaching for Hoseok’s and then letting his cock spring out. They both groaned softly, the tips of their dicks brushing each other and Hoseok felt all weak at the knees he was so horny.
‘Hyung…’ he moaned, forehead hitting his shoulder, ‘Can I touch you.’
He says this as he pushes his dick against his, hot skin against hot skin, their hips and bodies answering already what they still need to speak aloud. Jicheol held him by the waist, pulling him away so that he could lift his face, find his lips and kiss him again.
‘Hold me, Hoseok-ah.’ he said into his lips, finding his eyes so that Hoseok could drown in them, ‘I want to see your hands on me.’
He took Hoseok’s hand in his and guided it to his cock, his fingers encircling around him.
‘Mm-mm, fuck…’ Hoseok moaned, feeling the hardness and heat of his length. His cock was dark red, a long vein underneath and his hair well groomed. He had a mole on his inner thigh that Hoseok wanted to lick. Meanwhile, he pressed his thumb against the beading point of his cock that dribbled precum. Jicheol’s fingers closed around his wrist, controlling him for now, guiding him as he moved his hand. Hoseok rested his forehead on his, they both watching his cock together with keen heat.
‘Your hands are pretty, I love seeing them on my cock.’
‘Have you thought about my mouth?’
‘Of course I have…is that a request?’
‘Can I?’
‘Yes…baby…’
The softness of the affectionate term, rather unsure, made Hoseok spiral. He shrank down the bed and lowered himself to his knees and then his stomach so that he may take him in his mouth. Guiding him with his hand, he carefully ran his tongue around his head. Jicheol made a soft, wounded noise. His hand went from guiding Hoseok with his shoulder, to his hair again, this time for sure in every and all directions.
‘You’re really good at this…’ Jicheol sighed, holding his hair as Hoseok took him into his mouth, ‘You’re a natural.’
He spoke as if he was surprised, like it was an enacted behaviour that was unusual for him, but Hoseok could tell otherwise. With each roll of Hoseok’s tongue or the shluck-shluck as he sucked him, Jicheol knew the right amount to roll his hips or hold him by the hair to know what he wanted. He wanted a lot, but was holding himself back, and it frustrated Hoseok who wanted to give him everything.
‘Can you cum in my mouth?’
Jicheol paused, not exactly taking Hoseok off his cock but not exactly encouraging anything, either.
‘Do you want something else?’ Hoseok sighed, removing his lips from around him, ‘Do you not like this?’
‘I do, I really do, it’s just…’ Jicheol sighed, petting Hoseok’s shoulder, ‘I just wanted to wait.’
‘For what? The new season of Squid Game?’
'You're not funny.'
'Yet, you're smiling. Hyung, why don't you want to cum right now?'
‘In case you wanted me to fuck you.’
The hesitant tone in his voice made Hoseok laugh.
‘Is that it? I can suck you off and you can fuck me later, if you like.’
‘I’m not sure I can go twice, like you could.’
‘I would put in the work, make you hard again.’
Jicheol seemed surprised by Hoseok’s perseverance.
‘You really push me, you know that? I don't want to break any promises, Hoseok-ah.’
‘Hyung, please fuck my mouth.’
The kind of uncertainty in Jicheol’s gaze vanished with Hoseok’s words, rather a dark and determined look Hoseok caught a glimpse of earlier returned and it excited him. He moved to the floor, kneeling as the older man sat up. Hoseok removed his pants, completely from his lower body so that he could get between his legs. Jicheol grabbed him from his hair, made him straighten up and look in his eye.
‘Tell me if I’m too much.’
He looked scared, eyes wide, and Hoseok felt fucked already.
‘Please, hyung.’ Hoseok told him, caressing his bare thighs in his hands and bending to kiss his cock, ‘Please, can I suck your dick?’
Jicheol helped to guide him in, sighing as Hoseok took nearly all of him. Hoseok didn’t want to tell him that he wasn’t exactly the best at deepthroating, but he didn’t need to know that. He was on his knees for the most handsome actor he could imagine, he would magic up the best head he could muster.
He didn’t need to worry about his own initiative, Jicheol once his guard was down was not so shy.
‘Go slower, baby.’
Hoseok let him hold him, slide his cock in and out between his lips and keep his chin up so he could look him in the eye. He wanted to see everything, control and feel his every move. He held Hoseok’s hand on the base of his cock with his own, fingers tight on his wrist.
His hyung was demanding, more than he realised.
‘Spit on it, make it wet, Hoseok-ah.’
He was really fucking letting go, the more Hoseok sucked him.
‘Take it slowly, baby, that’s it…’
He thrusted into Hoseok’s mouth, fucking him fully now and Hoseok let him. Moaning around him as he felt him tighten up and cum with a short yell, groaning as he lingered and Hoseok swallowed around him, eager not to taste him more than he needed to but enjoying the sensation of being used for pleasure.
After a few moments, Jicheol’s breathing has slowed and Hoseok removed his mouth with a pop, licked his lips and beamed up at him.
‘Did I do a good job, hyung?’
His voice was croaky, and Jicheol laughed breathlessly, sitting back on the bed and lifting Hoseok up onto his knee.
‘You did wonderfully.’
Hoseok perched there, pressing his nose into his hair and smelling his musk. The scent of his sex. The strength of his body and hands around him as he held him on his knee. Sighing as the man kissing up his chest and pressed a hand in between his legs, feeling him up under his clothes.
‘Get undressed, baby…’ he urged him, sliding his jeans down his legs, ‘Hyung will help you.’
Hoseok did as he was told.
He lay down and let Jicheol yank his underwear and jeans out over his ankles. The older man climbed back up and knelt with his legs either side of him, both of them fully naked now, but only Hoseok still fully aroused and Jicheol’s hand around him made the blood pump acutely. He could feel each turn of it run through the man’s fingers, cock twitching in his hand.
‘Do you want my mouth, baby?’
‘Yes, please.’
‘Hoseok-ah, can you do me a favour, please?’
Jicheol never asked anything of Hoseok, nothing.
‘Anything, please.’
‘Don’t cum until I tell you to cum.’ Jicheol locked eyes with him, ‘Is that alright?’
Hoseok wasn't sure if he could promise, like Jicheol too felt, but was eager to please.
‘I’ll do my best.’
‘Good boy…’ Jicheol moved down his body, ‘Tell me when it gets too much, and I’ll stop.’
‘I will, I will…oh…’
Hoseok sighed in bliss when he felt the man’s mouth kiss around him. It’s been so long since he has had sex, the fact of when and whom he didn’t even want to think about right now. All he wanted to think about was Jicheol. Sweet, wonderful Jicheol who took care of him so well and wanted what was best for him. Hoseok just wanted to please him, make him happy, have him feel pleased with Hoseok and smile that particular smile that was so special.
His lips were luscious on his cock, his mouth so hot and the way he took Hoseok into his mouth so practised and pronounced. This was not the first time Jicheol sucked cock and he was quite practised at it, which was also not something Hoseok wanted to think about right now. Even if such a revelation was mind-bogglingly sexy. Instead, he relaxed into it, arching as the man pressed his fingers under his balls, holding him in his hand and groaning around his length. The coarse hair on his chin brushing into the sensitive skin of Hoseok's cock and thighs.
Hoseok is not going to last.
‘Hyung, hyung…’ he gasped, ‘I’m going to cum…’
He had forgotten his promise already, real-drunk and cock-drunk, his hyung lifting his head and squeezing his cock at the base. Hoseok squealed, drawing his knees together in protest but Jicheol pushed them apart and clucked his tongue in disappointment.
‘What did I tell you?’
‘Don’t cum…’ Hoseok moaned, drawing his head back and trying to concentrate on anything but the thumping roar of his cock, ‘Please, hyung…’
‘I want to see how much you can hold off, do you think you can last a little bit longer for me, please?’
He asked so sweetly and Hoseok groaned, wanting to shake his head side to side but he relented.
‘Okay.’ he said hoarsely, clearing spit from his throat, ‘I can do it.’
‘Good boy.’ Jicheol said, reaching out and stroking under his chin, ‘Lie back, spread your legs.’
Hoseok did as instructed, holding his legs apart with his hands and Jicheol looked impressed.
‘I always forget you’re a dancer.’
It would have been a funny remark, but Hoseok has laid back until his knees grazed his ears. It left a cold draft on his hole but Jicheol’s hand returned to his cock so he bit his lip and tried to be good. Only groaning when his hyung wrapping his lips around him. He couldn’t be good.
‘H-hyung…’ he sobbed, as he began sucking him again, ‘I can’t, I really can’t…’
Jicheol lifted his head, running his hands over his thighs.
‘That’s fine, you did great, Hoseok-ah.’ he gushed, encouragingly, ‘Come for me now, come for hyung when you can.’
He had his lips around him again, and Hoseok practically screamed. Jicheol held him down as he came in his mouth, sucking around his head relentlessly, guiding him through it the shock of it even as Hoseok felt himself squirm and his neck arch with the intensity of it.
‘Thank you, thank you...’ he gushed, throwing an arm over his face and drawing his knees back together impulsively. Jicheol, untangled him, so he could draw him close.
‘Well done, Hoseok-ah.’ his hyung said, lowering his legs around his waist and drawing up to kiss him. Hoseok could taste himself on his lips, but loved the rush and roughness of the older man’s tongue in his mouth and hand under his head holding him in place. He moaned around the muscle between his lips, the slick heat of it, and the control he could give himself over to. He wore the older man down. He knew it. He uncovered the darker, sexier side of him. All for Hoseok’s taking.
‘Are you going to fuck me?’
‘Well, aren’t you full of energy tonight?’
‘You need to fuck me, like right now.’
‘I’ll do as you wish, there’s no need to demand, just let the old man rest.’
‘Please, hyung...’
‘Alright, how about I prepare you first?’
*
He had to go hunting for lube, buried at the back of a drawer in the bathroom. Condoms were easier to find. He threw the lot down next to the towel.
Hoseok was no stranger, turning over assuming the position on his hands and knees. He was slender, narrow-waisted and had a pretty cock. Did he really have to act so sexy on top of that? Hoseok tossed his head back, smirking like he knew it was driving him crazy.
‘I’m ready, hyung.’ he said softly, his voice a little broken around the edges from sucking cock. Jicheol wondered how his own voice sounded, thinking of an answer but unable to come up with one, just shuffling his knees forward until he was framing Hoseok’s and pressing against the back of his thighs.
Hoseok arched himself a little, sighing as Jicheol took a hold of his ass and spread him apart to see his dusky hole. Jicheol felt eyes on him and tutted.
‘Relax, Hoseok-ah. You’ll hurt your neck.’
‘I want to watch you, hyung.’ he whined, wiggling his hips ever so slightly back against him, ‘Want to see you finger me…’
‘Is trust not enough?’
‘Don’t twist my words, I just want to see you being all sexy.’
‘If you can take my first two fingers without making a sound, I’ll flip you over, deal?’
‘You’re mean.’ Hoseok drawled, then shuddered softly as Jicheol dribbled the lube directly onto his hole, ‘That feels weirdly good.’
‘Do you like it wet?’
‘I like whatever it takes.’
To that answer, Jicheol could infer that he was going to have to finger Hoseok until he started singing, which won’t take much, but then beyond that until he was quiet again and he could nearly fit at least three of his fingers. By that time, he wanted Hoseok to be hard again. He was soft now, the pinkness of his cock peeking between his thighs. As soon as his cock perks up, then Jicheol will make him cum anyway he can. His own cock a maybe in that matter, which was rather unfortunate but he will persevere. Ah, youth.
‘When was the last time you did this?’ he said, circling one of his digits around his hole, prying apart the furl of skin, ‘Have someone inside you?’
‘A while…’ Hoseok said, his voice fading for a moment as Jicheol dipped his finger in to where his fingernail ended then back out again, ‘...I fingered myself, last time I was home.’
That was more recent than Jicheol anticipated, which explains Hoseok’s comfort. Saying that, Hoseok gasps as he slips his finger back in until his first knuckle, twisting it and lingering, before slipping out again.
‘When was the last time it was someone else?’
‘Hm…’ Hoseok said into his arms, digging his face into the pillow and raising his ass back at him, ‘It’s embarrassing.’
‘It’s completely understandable if it was before the military.’ Jicheol assured him, slipping the entirety of his finger into the young man and held it there. His hole clenched around him, his thigh trembled under his hand, discomforted but evidently wanting to show resilience for some God-awful reason.
‘It was a little longer before then…’ Hoseok said, ‘My ex…let’s not talk about that.’
Ah, of course. Jicheol didn’t mean to pry, especially when he was inside his body.
‘Let’s change the subject.’ he said, drawing his finger out to press the second inside of him, ‘Did you finger yourself, or did you use something bigger?’
Hoseok groaned into his arms at the stretch of Jicheol’s fingers, yet he did not shy away. Jicheol leaned down and pressed a kiss to the indented stretch of his spine, his smooth skin and up to the darker razored hair at the base of his nape. The younger man fell quiet, so Jicheol kissed him a second time.
‘Hm?’ he pressed, and kissed him for a third time on his shuddering shoulder blade.
‘No…just my fingers…’ Hoseok finally answered, his voice small and weak, ‘I don’t own any toys…’
How oddly surprising, he thought of Hoseok as the organised type, but he must have felt too embarrassed to purchase something like that for himself.
‘Did you get off?’ Jicheol asked then, and curled his fingers in slowly so Hoseok could feel it.
Hoseok made a breathless noise that grew louder as his fingers continued moving, unstopping until he was high and whiny.
‘Yeah…I did…’
‘What did you do?’
‘You know…I…’
‘Tell me how you did it.’
‘I lay in my bed…’ Hoseok sighed, no longer trembling as much but a distinct sheen of sweat forming on his nose as he turned back and met his gaze, ‘I put my feet on the headboard and a towel beneath me like now.’
‘Did you have to touch yourself to cum?’
‘At the end, yeah.’
‘Could I make you cum without you touching yourself?’
‘I don’t think so, but you are getting me hard.’
Jicheol could see his cock growing against his thigh. He removed his fingers from Hoseok’s body slowly and softly turned him onto his back. Hoseok was breathless, face flushed and eyes blown, his tongue fell loose as Jicheol bent and took it into his mouth. Kissing him deeply, Hoseok throwing his arms around his head and Jicheol crawling between his legs.
‘Can I get you hard?’ Hoseok said into his lips, ‘Please?’
‘You really want me to fuck you?’
‘Please, hyung.’
*
One more finger, first.
The point of this foreplay and care was more intimate than Hoseok had ever experienced with another hookup. Jicheol held him carefully, hand under his thigh to hold him in place and his other hand between his legs, palm clapping against his balls and fingers fucking into him firmly. It was overwhelming in a lot of ways, Hoseok felt so full and fucked open already and Jicheol was grazing his prostate with each other fuck and making him see stars.
He didn’t know where to look, feeling greedy with the sensations and luxury above him. Jicheol was concentrating so much, biting his lips. Hoseok kissed him, nipping his lips, urging him to bite his lips instead. He did, groaning into him like he was starving. Fuck, he made Hoseok feel insane. Jicheol was fucking him with the same hand he wore his watch, which he didn’t bother taking off before getting into bed with him.
‘Hyung, I’m ready…’ Hoseok urged him to pull out, ‘Let me get you hard…’
He forced Jicheol off him, taking him by the shoulders and shoving. The man was pure muscle, Hoseok had to do it twice before he took the hint and allowed himself to roll onto his back and switch positions.
Hoseok felt a bit more in charge, determined when on top of him and took a hold of his cock. Jicheol had been unsure, but Hoseok grinned feeling the firmness of him, and began stroking him into hardness.
‘I came too soon, baby.’ Jicheol sat up on his elbows watching him, ‘Go easy on me.’
Hoseok answered by spitting on his cock, which made the older man scoff, ‘C’mon, who thought you that?’
‘Porn is easy to find nowadays, hyung.’ Hoseok snapped, to hide his embarrassment, ‘I’ll show you where to find it.’
‘That wasn’t a complaint, Hoseok.’ Jicheol tsked, taking a hold of Hoseok’s hair as he went down on him again, ‘There’s benefits, learning from the youth.’
Hoseok couldn’t spit on him again, not with his mouth full of cock, so threw him the middle finger.
‘That’s very hip hop.’
Hoseok didn’t know how Jicheol managed to get hard from this, and didn’t know how he managed to sustain his own erection. He popped his lips off him, taking a hold of his cock and stroking him again and reached for the condom.
‘If people found out how rude you are, I could ruin you.’
Jicheol snorted, grabbing Hoseok by his chin and forcing him to meet his eyes.
‘Ruin me.’
Hoseok while maintaining eye contact, tore the condom packet with his teeth, which for some reason made the man bite his lip and laugh. There goes trying to be sexy.
Hoseok slid it down his cock, and resisting the man’s insinuations to lie down again, he straddled his lap.
‘Hoseok-ah…’ he started, but Hoseok ignored him and held onto his shoulder with one hand and reached behind himself with the other. He found his cock and guided it to his hole, rubbing against it slightly to smear it with the lube all over his ass before finding home.
They groaned at the same time, Hoseok letting his cock slip inside of him. He didn’t sink down, not just yet, allowing himself to adjust. Jicheol had fucked him open with his fingers, but his body had relaxed a little too much since then. Jicheol’s hands found their way to his waist.
‘Look at me.’ he told Hoseok, who did, ‘Kiss me.’
Hoseok did as he was told, letting the man kiss him silly again. It was hard to kiss, with a cock inside him, but Hoseok did his best. Jicheol used his hands and gravity to guide himself inside, but was stuck beneath the younger man's weight. Hoseok could only lift his hips weakly, gyrating with him inside.
‘I want to see those dancer hips.’ Jicheol told him, dark eyes trained on his, ‘Show me, Hoseok.’
Hoseok’s energy grew, kneeling up and using the momentum to move as the older man demanded. It has been some time since he has ridden cock, but after a few moments, it might as well have been like riding a bike. You don’t forget. Jicheol was big, but right now was snug inside him and hitting every right point, sliding over his prostate at just the right curl of his hips.
‘That's it, baby…’ Jicheol gasped, grabbing him by his ass and helping him, which was what Hoseok was missing. He made progress then, moving quicker so his cock slipped in and out, ‘...trying to kill me.’
‘Keep up.’ Hoseok growled, and Jicheol stole a kiss from him, making him gasp and wouldn’t let up, leaving him breathless. He felt so full, like the cock inside of him was punching up to his stomach and the man was stealing oxygen.
‘Keep going, baby.’ Jicheol growled, holding him as Hoseok ground back on his cock, ‘I want to see how long you last like this.’
Hoseok realised that Jicheol could probably hold him up forever, but the muscles in his legs would probably give up long before that. He did his best, riding in such a way that he could graze over his prostate over and over again and feeling so close to cumming, but needing that extra push over the edge.
‘Please, hyung…’ he moaned, ‘I need to cum…’
He wanted the man’s hand, rather his own. That’s what he wanted. He could keep going, be good and do as he was told and try to get off by riding his cock, but Jicheol had other ideas. Or, maybe he misheard.
He lifted Hoseok up, so his cock slipped out, then flipped them back over. Hoseok landed on his back and Jicheol crawled over him. He was pleasantly surprised, but automatically spread his legs expecting him to enter back into him, instead the man flipped him again, this time onto his stomach and dragged him back down so he was under his hips.
‘This better?’
Fuck.
‘Better.’ Hoseok agreed, spreading his legs again arching back into him.
Jicheol pulled Hoseok up by his waist and entering him cleanly, first partially, then out and slapping back in until he was to the hilt. Hoseok screamed out, cramming his face down into the pillow. He held on, gripping it and burying his face as the man truly fucked him.
Yes, he decided, this was somehow even fucking better.
‘Fuckkkkk…’ he yelled into the mattress, as the man's momentum pushed him up the bed so hard he needed to press his forearm to the headboard. Jicheol fucked him in short little bursts. It started making the bed rock and Hoseok felt bad for their downstairs neighbour, if they could hear what they were doing. Who was it again? Hoseok just saw them on television this morning…
Jicheol was moaning low and coarse above him, using his body for his own pleasure, and Hoseok felt smug knowing that he made the man hard again despite protest. He knew the elder had it in him for a good fuck and the second orgasm was always a longer, harder chase…
Which brought him back to his own problem.
Hoseok slipped a hand between his thighs and began stroking his cock. He was so fucking hard and Jicheol was fucking him so deep that he was starting to feel a little insane. He needed to cum so bad, he could die.
Jicheol stopped and Hoseok groaned.
‘Hyung, for fuck's sake…’
‘Did I say you could touch yourself?’
‘Please, hyung…’
‘Let’s cum together, Hoseok-ah.’ he said, ‘Can you hold out for me?’
Okay, Hoseok could do this.
‘Yes, hyung.’
Hoseok thought he would be left in agony for a lot longer, but Jicheol wasn’t nearly so sadistic. He wrapped his hand around Hoseok’s cock himself, stroking him in rhythm to his own thrusts and Hoseok could only moan at the slow, torturous climax.
‘Hyung…hyung…’ he moaned, clenching around him, ‘Please cum, please cum, please cum—’
At his pathetic protest, Jicheol answered by groaning again, low and long. He sped up the thrusts and twisting his hand to the head of Hoseok’s cock. Then, were both cumming, really cumming together, and it was awkward and amazing. Hoseok clenched around him, his own hips stuttering into Jicheol’s hand as he felt himself spill slow and thick over his fingers, milked from the deepest part inside of him that rewarded him with a lingering, solid orgasm rather than the typical sharp jerk that a normal spunk had. Jicheol came with a short, confused shout, like he didn’t truly expect it.
In the aftermath, they were both panting. Hoseok’s head in his hands and Jicheol’s forehead slick on his shoulder. He felt his cock twitch inside him, even through the condom, blood pumping and cock softening. He carefully pulled out, the sensation equally slippery but tender.
Jicheol kissed his shoulder, slipping his hand to his waist so he could roll Hoseok onto his side and kiss him again on his ear, then his cheek. He took his hand, his kiss lingering slow and then longer upon the corner of his mouth.
‘Hyung…’ Hoseok sighed, prying his eyes open to catch his eye, ‘You were great.’
He really loved making Jicheol laugh.
*
It was late, or early. Jicheol couldn’t tell. His sleep had been aided by the warmth of another person that he held, but he awoke to the feeling of emptiness. Only clammy sheets under his fingers.
He heard the shuffling of clothes and the pattering of bare feet walking around to his side of the bed.
‘Leaving…?’ he asked quietly, so as not to lay bare any possibility of something wrong, but his worries were calmed by a touch to his face. Delicate. Hoseok bent down and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, then again to his lips once he found his answering, searching pout.
‘I need to get a flight soon.’ he moaned against him, running his fingers through Jicheol’s hair.
Jicheol heard the sound of him sighing, the shuffling noise of his clothes, as he knelt down beside the bed. Hoseok took his hand, stroking the back of it. Jicheol joined their fingers together.
‘I’ll send pictures.’
‘Thank you.’ Hoseok hummed softly.
‘Can you send me some, too?’
Hoseok kissed him again, again this time on his lips, and Jicheol left his hand on his cheek so he would linger. Hoseok did not need much encouragement, leaning into his touch and only drawing with a disappointed sigh as his keys fell out with a clunk onto the floor.
‘I can’t see shit in here.’
His unreserved swearing made Jicheol moan out a laugh and he welcomed the inevitability of hearing more of it.
Jicheol pressed a hand over his eyes through soft dehydration and tiredness from lack of sleep. Somehow, he has never felt more alive. He also felt something moving at his legs.
‘Mau, is it?’
‘I heard her crying after we went to sleep, I noticed she likes to lie at your feet.’
‘Oh, yes. Doesn’t she do the same for you?’
‘Hm, not quite yet.’ Hoseok hummed, ‘I’ll try to leave my door open for her, see if she feels the same.’
They fell quiet, still holding each other’s hand and sharing warmth through their breath.
‘I really better go.’ Hoseok sighed, running his hand across Jicheol’s shoulder one final time as farewell, ‘Sleep well, hyung.’
‘See you soon.’
Hoseok stood and shuffled towards the doorway, but paused upon hearing his words.
‘Yes, I’ll see you soon.’
Jicheol let him leave with the final word, otherwise, he knew they would probably linger there forever.