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It all started the day he turned sixteen. That was the birthday when people could start seeing what their soul mate drew or wrote on their skin. Sometimes they didn’t see things appear for a few days, usually months, but there were rare times when it was years. Alastor had been lucky, though. His soul mate must have been at least a little bit older than he was and had to have waited for him to make his own marks, to show that they weren’t alone in the world.
But he was no artist, and the thought of marring himself with ink of any kind at that age made his skin crawl. At least until the urge to make a connection of any kind tore at his heart, the isolation of being an outsider among his peers took a toll on him despite the many circles he danced in at school. It had been nearly a year since his soul mate’s writing, their idle drawings, appeared and disappeared over and over, every day was something new. Now it was his turn to share. His hand shook as he placed the tip of the pen to his skin, breath catching in his chest as the red ink of his pen made beautiful cursive lines on his upper thigh:
Sorry I took so long.
He waited until the ink faded from his skin, sinking down into whatever made up the bond between him and his soul mate. Anxiety was crawling its way into his mind, clawing into the deepest crevices, the ones he kept hidden from the world. He had been starting to give up hope, to think that he had hurt the other too much by waiting so long — were his efforts of reaching out now too late? Melancholy curled around the edges of his thoughts, darkening his view of the world, when a set of golden words appeared in the same place he had written his own:
Hello there! Better now than never, right?
Those seven words immediately banished the darkness that tried to take root. In fact, Alastor had never truly smiled before that, but once the grin grew, it remained there, unable to be torn away by anyone or anything. His shoulders lost the slight slump they had been slipping into, and he reached out to pick up the pen that had fallen to the floor in his hasty downward spiral.
I’m glad you were still willing to respond.
Of course I’ll respond. No matter how long it takes, I will wait for you.
But I am curious, what prompted you reaching out?
That made him pause, chewing on the pen cap hard enough to leave teeth marks. How was he supposed to explain that he had never really thought he would have a soul mate, had no interest in the physical side that many of the people around him engaged in? Alastor had brought up those questions to his mother a couple of months prior, but she hadn’t really understood what he meant. She assured him that he would grow into those feelings once he got to know his life companion, but he was still dubious.
I don’t really know, it just felt like it was time.
Plus, I wanted to know what connecting to someone felt like.
I understand that. Well, you can call me Lu.
Alastor, pleasure to meet you.
After that, the brunet continued writing with Lu daily, sharing small snippets of his day, such as ‘I’ve got an exam today and I don’t feel as if I’ve studied enough’ and getting either encouraging words like ‘You are far more intelligent than you give yourself credit for, Al’ or small drawings of ducks with large hats on them doing silly things. No matter what he received, Alastor welcomed each and every connection. He did ask about what Lu did during his days, but all that he ever got was that he had a lot of meetings to attend or that he had been at his workshop, carving things.
Time passed quickly. Alastor graduated high school and started at an out-of-state college for media broadcasting. The people there were not much better than they were in his small town, gathering together in cliques that gossiped and judged everyone else around them. Once again, he found himself dancing between the groups, gaining acquaintances more than friends, but he was always invited to the best parties and get-togethers.
There was a pang of pain in his heart whenever he saw a soul mate couple together, a yearning to be near his own that almost overtook his desire and determination to do things on his own. To prove that he was capable as an individual, prove he was worthy as a soul mate to Lu. To the other’s credit, he had never asked Alastor where he was or to meet up with him. It was like he knew that the young man wasn’t quite ready for that step just yet. In return, Alastor never asked about Lu’s location either; it was enough to know that he was out there somewhere. There was no doubt that they would meet some day; the pair often had conversations about spending quiet evenings in their shared home.
Those feelings of not being ready started to change after college.
The pangs of loneliness had started to hit him harder as he got older and he saw more and more soul mate couples around him. What would it be like to have Lu walking next to him, hands entwined as they chatted about something mundane? Maybe… Maybe it was time to meet each other face-to-face. He had waited a little more than ten years since his first message, and Lu had been waiting longer than he had. Surely, he wanted to meet Alastor too. He had to be ready… right?
Alastor had settled into his new apartment on the upper side of the city, finally having secured a job as a radio personality, when he felt the tingle of words start to form on his forearm. His lips quirked up a little more, that smile from the first night he and Lu had talked still present and unfading, growing more each and every time the golden words were scrawled on his body. He quickly rolled his sleeve up as he walked over to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of rye and pouring a few fingers in a glass as he read over the message Lu had sent.
Today was move-in day, right? Hope everything has gone well.
Well enough. Moving is always a little on the rougher side of things, especially on the body.
Yeah, I guess it can be. New job is going well too?
Thankfully, yes. I’m on late nights for now but I should be able to move to either mornings or evenings soon.
Alastor sat down on his sofa, red pen poised between his fingers as he hovered over his forearm. He raised his glass to his lips, taking another sip of the golden amber liquid. His tongue darted out to lick up the few drops left on the rim, and he hummed in thought. They had been communicating like this for just over a decade. Perhaps it was time to finally ask that.
Late nights can be rough but I’m around whenever you wanna chat. And I don’t mean just during the late night shifts.
I’m always available to chat with you whenever you want.
Thank you.
I’ve been thinking.
How do you feel about meeting in person soon?
He swallowed down another gulp of the rye as soon as the red ink faded into his skin. Five minutes passed as the burn from the alcohol faded from his tongue. His skin grew clammy with both chills and sweats. Lu had never taken this long to respond to him. Not since that first night. The clock ticked by again, counting another minute that passed. Another sip of rye, the glass now empty and set aside. The silence of the room began to weigh down on him, his eyes catching the glint of amber as a drop of liquid slid down the inside of his glass. Had he overstepped too much? Assumed that Lu would want the same thing he did? Another tick of the clock, another minute gone.
Then, thin golden tendrils started to form on his skin. It was full of curving loops and elegant twists, as stunning and beautiful as the first time he had ever seen it on his skin. He read the words and the taste of ash filled his mouth. He had to be seeing things, imagining these words in Lu’s writing. His reticence with others was reflected in his attempts at reaching out to his soul mate, almost as though this was some form of punishment for waiting so long to reach out, to ask to meet in person.
Alastor read the words over and over again, licking his lips nervously. It only confirmed that he wasn’t imagining things, that Lu had actually written these words, and his heart sank.
As much as I would love that, my schedule right now isn’t in a place where I can get away. Things have been hectic and chaotic here.
Alastor’s hand dropped from the table, his vision blurring as he blinked rapidly, the red ink pen falling to the floor next to his chair. He swallowed the thick lump that was forming in his throat, trying to process the rejection wrapped in sweet politeness. Lu couldn’t get away from his work, wasn’t willing to even try to do so to meet him. He really was foolish for thinking his soul mate would jump at the chance to meet up. Why would he do that anyway?
Taking a deep, shaky breath, Alastor leaned down to collect his pen and put the tip to his skin. He could pretend that the rejection didn’t bother him. Lu didn’t need to know how hard he took it, how upset he was by it. His lips twisted into a strained smile as he reeled in his hurt, mentally boxing it up and shoving it into the darker corners of his mind.
Right. I keep forgetting that you’ve always had a hard time getting away. Forget I said anything. I realized after I wrote that that I am still needing a little more time to settle into this new city and all.
Well, I think I’m going to head to bed. Have a good night, Lu.
The brunet rolled his sleeve down, covering the space they had been communicating on to lessen the urge he’d get for Lu would respond to him, and picked up his empty rye glass. He carried it to the kitchen, washed it out, and set it aside to dry. A familiar tingling crawled over his arm, Lu’s response appearing on his hidden skin. He didn’t need to look at it to read it. It would eventually fade away without him doing anything.
Maybe he should head out on the town, get to know a few of the local hot spots, so he could talk about them during his on-air times. At least he’d be able to relate to his future listeners and what they liked to do in their recreational time.
Yes. That was exactly what he would do. Maybe he’d have a few drinks as well, just to put a balm over his aching heart. There was nothing that could surpass that feeling anyway.
Or so he thought.
~~~~~
The day he discovered that he had an actual soul mate, and it was not the person he had married and only recently divorced, had begun with him in a not-so-great spot. He had woken with a start in his workshop, hunched over on the desk with a carving knife in one hand and a half-carved duck body in the other. His back ached from the odd sleeping position, and a little bit of drool had dried on his chin. He blinked blearily at the items in his hands until he finally registered what it was that had woken him.
His phone.
His phone was ringing.
His phone was ringing!
Lucifer scrambled upright, immediately dropping the knife and duck-in-progress to sift through the wood shavings in search of the infernal device. No one ever called him, so it had to be important, which meant he needed to find it!
Finally, his hand brushed against the cool edge of the device. Only for the ringing to stop. Silence echoed in the space around him, a small frown appearing as he pulled the phone out to look and see who called.
6 missed calls
Lilith (4)
Bee (1)
Ozzie (1)
Shit. What day was it? He couldn’t remember, but if Lilith had called as many times as she had, it was probably a day he was supposed to do something with his daughter.
A small ding beeped as a text message icon flashed on his screen.
Luci, this is the hundredth time you’ve missed picking up Charlie for a day with her. This is getting out of hand. She needs you too. I don’t know how many times she’ll just let this go. I know she’s only three, but that is no excuse for this behavior. I think pushing this until next week is going to be better for her and you. Let me know what day next week works for you, and I will bring her by.
His heart ached as he read the words over and over again. Shit, he had really messed things up again, hadn’t he? The divorce from his wife was still fairly fresh, only about two months had passed, and she had gotten primary custody of Charlie. She was a renowned and financially stable producer with a stellar track record of not having depressive episodes, and she hadn’t been publicly disowned by her wealthy and influential family when she struck out on her own to produce music. Nope, the depression was all his, and his family had disowned him when he refused to get into politics or big corporate business and then proceeded to marry a woman with no family to speak of, who encouraged Lucifer to stand up for himself. While Lucifer much preferred his small toy business, he did miss his twin brother and a few of his other siblings. Not enough to go back, though.
Fuck. He needed to stop reminiscing about old times; he could feel the tendrils of melancholy curling around his thoughts. Especially now that he wouldn’t be able to see his darling daughter today. He sighed heavily, leaning back to sit in his chair and stare up at the ceiling. Idly, he picked up his sketching pen and tapped the tip against his lips before uncapping it and capping it nervously. What was he going to do today since he was freed up?
Lucifer grunted as he straightened in his seat again. Maybe he should go shopping for groceries. It had been a little while since he’d last done that. He got up, padding out to the kitchen to take a look at what he had, uncapping the pen as he walked. His fingers were quick and careful as he jotted down a few things he wanted to remember to get on his arm in rapid succession. It was only when he went to the fridge, to see what chilled items he might need, that he noticed it. Something was different. The ink of his pen on his skin was fading, fading, fading… and then it disappeared altogether.
He stared at his newly cleared skin, blinking a few times as he tried to process what had just happened. His writings had never just vanished like that before. Curiously, he put pen to flesh again.
Hello?
He waited, watching with bated breath as the word faded just like before. Nothing came of it, though. Not that day. Or any day that followed it for almost a full year. He had nearly forgotten that day, almost convincing himself that Lilith was his soul mate and she was just ignoring the clear sign of it, when the first message appeared on his own skin. Beautiful red lines showed up on his upper thigh, only initially noticed because of the slight itch that ran over the area as the words formed.
Sorry I took so long.
Lucifer had been in shock, surprised to see anything at all. Even more surprising to him was the fact that it was clearly not Lilith’s handwriting. Which meant she had been telling the truth and hadn’t just been toying with him.
From there, everything just started falling into place. It was so easy to write to Alastor through this connection, much easier than any sort of communication he had done with Lilith. The other never pressured him into meeting, almost seeming as though he didn’t want to at all. Which, sure, it was a little disappointing, but Lucifer was secretly glad for it. He wasn’t ready to meet and fall in love all over again, something he knew would happen once he was finally able to lay eyes on Alastor. Everything about him seemed to hit all of Lucifer’s type buttons: intelligent, witty, hard-working, and sincere. Lucifer didn’t want to fuck this up by trying to put any sort of pressure on the other.
All of that came to a head one night, Lucifer completely taken by surprise by the nearly innocent question. He knew Alastor had just moved into an apartment in a new city, knew the other man had gotten a new job as a radio broadcaster after graduating from college, but he had thought he would want to fully settle in before even entertaining the idea of meeting each other. But, nope. Apparently, Alastor felt ready to meet him now.
Lucifer panicked. There was no other way to put it. He panicked and told Alastor that he was basically swamped with work (a complete lie, his toy designs were done for the next couple of months) and couldn’t get away.
That was the wrong move to make it seemed, only making Alastor pull away and shut down for the rest of the night. Lucifer had tried writing back, tried to fix his mistake, but Alastor didn’t respond. Fuck, he had really messed this one up.
I’m sorry, Al. I… I hope you sleep well. If you still want to meet up, I’ll go anywhere. I really do want to see you.
Life went on, but he was far too distracted, trying to get Alastor to respond to him. He tried when he woke up, wishing his soul mate a pleasant morning, and when he finally started settling down for bed, hoping for a restful sleep. That didn’t include any of his attempts throughout the day whenever he thought of something that had Lucifer wishing he could share it with his soul mate.
His nights started getting longer and longer, sleep eluding him more often than it welcomed him. To while away the wee hours of darkness, Lucifer found himself listening to various radio stations, wanting to feel closer to Alastor. It took a few nights before he came across a voice that soothed the wounded parts of his heart enough to actually keep the station on. The host was a smooth talker, charming and entertaining. He had apparently only moved to the city recently and was visiting local bars and clubs around him to get to know his listeners. How odd… that was just like Alastor’s plans.
Wait… there was no way. Was there? Lucifer sat up, eyes wide as he considered the odds of such a chain of events. Maybe he should try and find out where some of these bars were. He was just starting to search for a pen and paper when he heard the name of a bar that Ozzie owned. His face beamed when he realized exactly where that was.
Maybe, just maybe, fate would finally be on his side, and he could properly apologize to Alastor.
By meeting him in person.
~~~~~
It had been three weeks since Alastor had last responded to any of the writing on his skin, but he could feel his resolve wavering. Lu had been a missing part of his life that he had welcomed daily. He felt whole whenever they talked, especially when they discussed their future together.
He had dived into his work and went to several bars in the first week, getting to know the so-called popular hangout spots. None of them had really appealed to him personally, but he did make friends with a gruff and grumpy bartender nicknamed Husk. The old cat’s boyfriend was one of the drag queens who performed regularly under the name Angel Dust at this bar and was quite popular. The producers of the radio station loved that Alastor had stumbled upon a queer bar that had previously been unnoticed, or at least underappreciated.
Tonight was one of his rare nights off from his rapidly growing show, and he was at the bar, enjoying a glass of his favorite whiskey. Amber eyes glinted in the low light over the rim of his glass as melodic jazz filtered through the air. He considered moving to one of the plush chairs near the stage to get a better view of the musicians and to surround himself even more with the music that resonated in his chest. Unfortunately for him, there were only three, and two of them were occupied. If he sat in the empty one, it would give the appearance that he was accompanying one or the other, something he did not want to do. Entertaining that idea felt like he was cheating on Lu despite him having no clue what his soul mate looked like.
Alastor grumbled to himself, downing the last finger of whiskey with a small wince. He held up his glass to Husk, silently asking for his third drink. Why was he even thinking about Lu now? He hadn’t written to Alastor in a few days, maybe he was finally giving up. Fuck, why did that hurt to think about?
His lips pursed as Husk slid over the newly filled glass and gave him a nod. “Someone’s been watchin’ you fer a bit, Al. Blond at your five,” the bartender murmured before turning to make a drink for his next guest.
The brunet picked up his whiskey, shifting around in his seat to lean back against the bar and survey the room at large. Sure enough, his eyes landed on a very handsome blond with startling blue-green eyes that kept glancing between him and another dark-haired man. Alastor got to his feet and made his way over to the plush chair he had been eyeing for the last twenty minutes. He was well aware of the fact that it placed him closer to his observer, but that meant that he was closer to Alastor too.
He crossed one knee over the other, letting his fingers tap against the glass in time with the upbeat music. They really were an amazing cover band, nearly matching the tones of Duke Ellington’s voice. It was easy to lose himself in the sound of that voice, lips curling into a smile as his eyes slipped closed for a few minutes.
A hearty laugh erupted behind him, breaking through the chorus of laughter that followed. He turned his head to look at the dark-haired man doing everything he could to remain the center of attention in the group of people around him. Alastor shook his head, rolling his eyes. Some people had no sense of decorum.
A familiar tingle started along his forearm suddenly, his head jerking to look at the bared expanse in shock. Golden letters shimmered into existence, just as elegant in script as the first time he saw them.
I’ve been missing you, Alastor. Sorry for everything. Had to do a lot of thinking. Spent some time listening to some of your recommendations.
Alastor frowned softly, half-glaring at the words on his arm until they faded away. He groaned as he reached into his shirt pocket, pulling out his usual red pen and clicking it open. This was probably the alcohol urging him on, but he had been thinking of responding soon, and what better time than now?
I am still not quite ready to talk with you yet. It took quite a bit of courage for me to suggest what I did and having it thrown in my face like that was most certainly not what I had expected.
The red ink on his arm glistened in the low light, almost mocking him for being so vulnerable. He took a sharp breath followed by a long sip of his whiskey. Alastor had tried the silent treatment, but it was only so effective. Apparently, he needed to be a little more blunt than planned. His breath caught in his chest when the all too familiar cursive made another appearance.
You’re right. You did put a lot of yourself into asking if we could meet soon and I did not take it very well. I really am sorry for not taking all of that into consideration. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me in the future.
Alastor blinked slowly, staring at the golden words blankly. After a few minutes, once they had faded away, he slipped the pen back into his pocket and sighed heavily. Did anyone else experience this sort of difficulty when it came to their soul mate, or was he unique in this predicament? Well, mostly unique. Technically, Lu was also experiencing this, too, since he was Alastor’s soul mate. But still… how common was this?
He raised his glass to his lips again, eyes scanning the stage and the musicians still performing admirably. There was a brief rustle of cloth against leather and several different footsteps as some people started dancing or going about their lives. He paid them little to no mind. That was probably why he didn’t notice the blond from earlier, the one who had been staring intently, as he came closer. Not until he spoke.
“Sorry I took so long.”
Those five simple words had Alastor’s eyes widening, head snapping up to look over at the source and be greeted by a soft, amused smile below glittering blue-green eyes and blond hair. His heart pounded in his ears, thudding loudly and nearly drowning out the music around him despite being so close to the stage.
“What… what did you say?” he managed to stammer out from between suddenly dry lips. He didn’t hear those words in that order too often, and, combined with the thoughts that had been plaguing him, it brought him back to his late teens, back to when he first reached out to Lu. There was no possible way… was there?
The blond’s smile twisted into a knowing smirk. “Those were the first words you ever wrote to me, right? ‘Sorry I took so long.’ They’ve been ingrained in my mind ever since…”
Alastor’s brow furrowed, hand tightening on his glass, as he scanned the small man standing in front of him. “I don’t believe we have ever met before now and I don’t appreciate the insinuation that you know me, sir.”
A soft chuckle was the immediate response he received, a flash of anger surging through him. “We’ve never met face to face, but we have stayed up many a night, writing to each other and growing our bond as soul mates. Or are you drinking to try to forget that, Alastor?”
No fucking way. There was no way for this supposed stranger to know his name out of the blue. It wasn’t a particularly common name, and he never used it on air so this man couldn’t have been a fan of his radio show that happened across him. The brunet sat up a little straighter, lifting the glass and finishing the last of the whiskey inside it. “That’s a good guess there, my dear. After all, how many soul mates haven’t done just that?” he retorted, pushing himself to his feet and rolling his eyes.
The next sentence stopped him in his tracks, head snapping to stare at the blond in shock.
“You absolutely loved the toy duck design I sent you a month after your first message.” Alastor could feel his chest heaving as his breath increased, mind screaming at him to both get the hell away and also to stay and listen, give this man a chance. “You know, the one with the deer antlers and a small microphone. I told you that I would have it made for you. Promised it would be the only one to exist. I kept my word.”
The blond reached into his white jacket (tacky and completely astounding to wear at a bar where anything could stain it) and pulled out a small toy duck. He held it out to the brunet, giving him a nod of encouragement. Alastor reached out slowly, picking up the small wood figurine and bringing it close to examine. His shoulders sagged a little as he relaxed. This was exactly like the one that had been shared through the golden ink on his skin. He had taken a picture of it with his phone, saved it, and used it as a wallpaper for years. Hell, he’d even gotten a small tattoo of it on his ankle.
“Lu? How…? Why…? You’re here. Where I am. But you said…” Alastor began, hand tightening around the duck carefully.
Lu gave him a sheepish grin, glancing away. “I kept trying to tell you that night. That I was sorry. That I would go anywhere to meet up. But I guess you never saw any of that. I moped for a bit, listened to a few radio stations just to try and feel closer to you since you always said you wanted to broadcast. Then… I found a new broadcaster. One who had arrived in town pretty much at the same time as you. I took a chance, listened more to figure out where in town he liked to go, and came here. I was hoping beyond hope that this new broadcaster was you. I was only sure when I wrote a new message to see if you reacted and you did… fuck, Al, I am so sorry. I got scared and panicked…”
Alastor blinked a few times, lips twitching between a small pout and a soft smile. “Seriously? You… you were really that desperate to meet me?” When Lu nodded, he took a few steps closer to the blond and offered his hand. “Then we should do so properly, hmm?” Once Lu had taken his hand, he shook it gently. “Alastor Hartfelt, a pleasure to meet you, quite a pleasure. And you are?”
“Lucifer Magne, but you can call me ‘Lu.’ I prefer it with those I’m close to. And the pleasure is all mine,” came the smug reply from the other man.
~~~~~
Alastor lounged in an armchair, head turned to watch his husband and soul mate as the other fretted over a glass enclosure. His eyes glinted in the light of the fireplace. “Lu, the snake will be fine, and Charlie will absolutely adore her. Come and sit down, tell me about what Mammon wanted to do for the upcoming holiday season.”
Lucifer sighed heavily, placing a heavy covering over the glass to keep it warm for the albino ball python he had gotten for his daughter’s birthday in a few days. “The same bullshit he’s been wanting to do for the last ten years, Bambi. You know how that greedy bastard gets… and I don’t want to talk about him anymore,” he said as he shuffled over to sit on the arm of the chair Alastor was in. “This is supposed to be a break away from all the work. It is our seven-year wedding anniversary, or did you forget?”
“I most certainly did not forget…” came the soft reply before his lips were captured in a sweet kiss from his smaller husband.
The briefest of memories ran across his mind, bringing up all of the trials they had faced before they finally met. The incident afterward, where an up-and-coming television newscaster had tried getting between them. The struggle of getting Lucifer more rights to see his daughter. Alastor’s own struggles with accepting the lovely young girl, not only in existence but in his life.
He would trade away none of it for anything. Every moment was worth the happiness and contentment he had found with Lucifer and continued experiencing even now. He pulled away from the kiss, chuckling at the small growl that left Lucifer’s throat.
“Easy now, cher. Plenty of time for that sort of play soon. We have dinner reservations first, remember?” The exasperated sigh that left Lucifer was just as enjoyable now as it was when he took his time answering the elaborate proposal the businessman had gone through. “All in due time, love. We have forever together, don’t you forget~”
Neither could ever want more.