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It's not real.
Nothing is real.
None of it is real.
it's not it's not it's not it's not-
They were all surrounding Ro.
All of them, screaming, whispering, talking the voices were everywhere-
Ro wasn't sure when reality had started transitioning to illusion.
Ironic wasn't it? The Illusionist, brought to heel by the ‘mere tricks of mind’ that he had mastered.
(was this what his power felt like?)
Ro wanted to sleep.
But sleep meant nightmares and even though being awake (was he?) was a living nightmare he couldn't weakness everything hurt-
So Ro kept his eyes open.
Even when they tore him to pieces and stabbed and cut and made sure he knew exactly what he was (monster killer villain hero angel devil letdown failure it wasn't real it wasn't real it wasn't real-)
It was fine.
It was fine.
Ro. Was. Fine.
(was this what he did? was this what his power felt like?)
He'd lost his voice- days months weeks years decades-
A while ago
(... how long had be been here?)
He'd been waiting.
And waiting.
And waiting.
For someone, anyone.
… but no one came.
And Ro was alone with nothing but echoes and illusions and ghosts he thought he'd buried.
But nothing stays buried forever does it.
They were screaming again.
The voices never shut up, the faces never left.
Everything hurt.
He was awake.
Awake, awake, what could he be but awake?
Dead.
(he'd rather be dead.)
How long had it been?
The click ticked away, eating at Ro’s sanity little by-
… there was no clock.
His voice had long gone hoarse.
He'd stopped screaming a long time ago.
Tick.
It's not real.
Tock.
It's. not. real.
Tick.
It's not real.
Tock.
It's. not. real.
… was anything real?
They told him they were here to get him out.
Something didn't feel right.
They'd found him(?)
But then-
Everything felt wrong.
So, so wrong.
The faces were wrong. The way they moved. The smiles.
Everything.
But Ro went along with it, cause even if it wasn't real, even if nothing was real anymore and life was just one giant illusion and a lie where were they-
Even if nothing was true… at least part of them was here.
Ro would indulge this fantasy as long as he could.
…
Not very long, as they tore him to pieces.
Whoever said that dreams couldnt hurt was lying.
He work up.
They were there.
Pain.
They tore him to shreds.
He woke up.
He was home.
Was it all a-?
Nope.
He woke up. He woke up.
Home and home again.
He woke up.
Home.
He woke up.
He woke up.
He
woke
up
Again and again and-
Maybe killing himself before they killed him would work?
…
He woke up.
Failure.
He woke up.
Fail.
He woke up.
Fail.
He-
woke-
up-
…
Success.
The Stone was cold beneath his body.
Nothing was real anymore?
He couldn't sleep.
He couldn't sleep.
He couldn't sleep.
He couldnt-
They were screaming at him.
Flashing in his vision.
Sleep.
No.
He couldn't.
…
Wake up.
Home.
Wake up.
Home.
Wake up.
Home(?)
They wouldn't let him die to anyone but them.
Ro was tired.
So, so tired.
Home?
Wake up.
Home?
Wake up.
Home?????????? wake up wake up wake up wake-
.
.
.
Ro woke up.
Back- in the cell?
He hadn't managed to kill himself though.
Another illusion then.
They were here too.
(they never left though)
Mapicc?
Zam?
Spoke?
Of course, all illusions.
They were saying something.
It's not real.
Not screaming?
It's not real.
They were- weird.
It's not real.
Everything hurt.
It's not real.
‘Mapicc’ was crouching in front of Ro.
Hands on his shoulders.
He knew the contact wasn't real but-
Ro couldn't find himself to move.
They were warm.
The warmth was a lie.
He missed the warmth.
They'd tear him apart.
But at least he'd have felt an echo of the warmth.
A needle?
So there it was.
It wasn't real.
It sank into his skin.
-
The world was turning dark again?
It didnt-
It didn't hurt?
It didn't hurt.(?)
Why didn't it hurt-
Mapicc didn't know what he was expecting when they found Ro.
But this-
This wasn't it.
Ro wasn't even-
It was like he was staring through them.
His eyes were bloodshot like he hadn't slept in- who knew how long.
(He- he probably hadn't.)
He-
Honestly?
Ro looked like shit.
He stirred slightly in Mapicc’s arms, Mapicc adjusting his arms slightly in response to support Ro’s neck more.
Something had happened.
Something that left To curled up in a corner, whispering that it wasn't real, that left him not even recognizing Mapicc.
His own fucking boyfriend.
Mapicc's heart was breaking slightly.
Ro was his. Ro was Lifesteal. Ro wasn't the heroes’ to make or break.
No one was allowed to break Ro. No one was allowed to hurt Ro.
…
Whatever they'd done-
The heroes would fucking pay.
Ro woke up.
The scene was different.
Not a hospital, like they'd already tried once earlier, the scalpels and surgeons and needles tearing into Ro it felt real it felt so real too real-
This was different.
Familiar.
… another place of safety, tainted.
No one else was in the room, or at least, no one else appeared to be in the room.
A moment of relief?
What could he use?
Medical tools?
There was a needle in his arms.
Why?
Beeping.
Why?
This felt- different.
So?
So many other illusions had felt different.
Different was new.
New was illusion.
Illusion was reality.
Footsteps- they were coming.
not again not again not again-
Why was drawing himself up so hard-
This wasn't-
Door opening-
He wouldn't he wouldnt-
Scissors-
Running-
Point-
Move-
Move-
No no no no no no no he was too late— they'd tear him apart— screwing his eyes shut he couldn't look he couldn't— (gently?) prying his hands off of— on his face— voices voices voices-
“Ro?” … ‘Mapicc’ wasn't screaming at him? He wasn't- angry?
He sounded… scared?
It wasn't real?
“It's not real” it couldn't be “you aren't real none of this is real, why won't this hellscape ever fucking end I just want it to end let it end please-” he was crying why was he crying they'd tear him apart weakness-
he couldn't stop.
he couldn't stop.
“Ro- we're real I promise. Open your eyes please- we're real.” Mapicc sounded pleading?
That wasn't right.
There was no script but there'd been a pattern, a list of do’s and don’ts and now-
… Ro opened his eyes.
Mapicc’s face was in front of him.
He looked real.
But- everything and everyone else had looked real too.
… but if they were just another illusion again, why weren't they tearing Ro apart?
could they-
could they be?
“It's really us Ro. I promise. I'm Mapicc, not an illusion or- anything. It's me.”
The other illusions hadn't lasted this long.
Ro hesitantly reached up with his free hand, overlaying it over Mapicc(?)’s hand on his face. Everyone else in the room had left- it was just them.
The hand was warm.
Not too hot to be burning, but not cold.
A natural by-product of Mapicc’s demon origins, a contrast to Ro’s natural cold. Their skin tones contrasting as well, rich olive over pale white.
Two sides of a coin, Ro and-
“May-Mapicc?” his voice broke halfway through but-
“The one and only bro.”
Ro surged forwards, pulling him into a desperate kiss he had to know was this real could it be real it had to be-
He felt like Mapicc.
He tasted like Mapicc.
Maybe-
…
maybe this was real?
Ro waking up had been-
Mapicc's heart still broke a little.
They'd hurt Ro.
The heroes had hurt Ro so badly that he tried killing himself to ‘break out of the illusion’, cause that was ‘what he'd done before’.
They'd hurt Ro so badly that he didn't trust his own power anymore, something Ro had always loved. Wrapping them in illusion, telling stories through his gift.
They'd hurt Ro so badly that he didn't even think that Mapicc or Spoke or Parrot or Red we're real at first.
The next time Mapicc saw them-
He'd deal with that later.
This wasn't what he had to focus on right now.
Ro needed him, needed Lifesteal more than he needed revenge.
Ro, who had taken an hour to fully convince that they were real, that he wasn't there anymore.
Ro, who apparently hadn't slept properly in who knows how long since even in his sleep they'd used illusions of the Lifestealers to fucking torture him.
Ro, who was asleep in their little pile, finally, finally home after weeks of searching and interrogating and-
Too much time.
Once Ro had calmed down a bit, the other Lifestealers had been told that Ro was awake (though most of them agreed to visit later in order to avoid overwhelming Ro), and Mapicc, Zam, Spoke and Parrot were curled around him in a pile, Ro had explained through stuttering breaths and barely concealed shivers and flinches exactly what had happened.
After hearing about it, Mapicc could safely say all of the Lifestealers were planning murder.
Mapicc included.
But that would wait.
Ro was more important.
Ro loved his illusions. He loved being able to tell stories, to be able to influence the world around him and change people’s perceptions. He'd used them so many times, done insane things using them that had saved all of their asses on many an occasion.
And now?
Ro was terrified of his own power, couldn't stop thinking of himself as a curse.
Ro- was broken
…
But Mapicc would support him.
The Lifestealers would pick his pieces back up again, as many times as it took before Ro could hold himself together on his own again.
What very it took.
Ro had fallen asleep already, curled up in Mapicc’s arms with his face buried in Mapicc’s chest.
He could feel every breath Ro took, feel every subtle movement and noise.
Zam was wrapped around both of them, braiding Ro’s hair intricately, making sure not to make it too tight or move too much so as not to wake Ro up.
Spoke and Parrot were talking quietly to themselves, making sure not to wake Ro up. Parrots' wing was rented over them, the warm feathers making a makeshift blanket.
Spoke’s tail was wrapped around Mapicc’s arms, head resting on Parrot’s shoulder. One hand was running through Ro’s hair (the parts that Zam wasn't braiding), making sure his claws didn't hurt. The other hand was preening Parrots' wing, idly running through it and straightening a few loose feathers.
As Ro slept, illusions were winding its way though the room; Ro’s power finally free to let loose its pent-up energy.
They stayed like that for a while.
Red came in once, just to check on Ro. Everything apparently looked fine to him, cause he left soon.
And then the illusions started changing; from starlight and galaxies and ancient stories, to fire and ruin and dead and twisted versions of themselves.
A nightmare.
Mapicc held Ro tighter, hoping the warmth helped, while Zam started whispering to Ro. Parrot and Spoke helped to (gently) hold Ro down and prevent him from thrashing and fighting them.
Tears were running down Ro’s cheeks.
He thought he was still in an illusion again.
Ro wasn't ok. Ro was broken, jagged harsh edges that tried to cut and bruise everyone and everything around them.
But- as they slowly got Ro to calm down, convincing him that they were real and here and this wasn't another illusion…
Ro would be ok. They would reassemble each of those pieces and they would do it over and over again, as many times as they needed to.
Mapicc would be there for Ro.
He'd be there for the one he'd devote his life to if he had to (and even if he didn't).
Ro would have done the same- had already done the same. For him, for all of them.
Lifesteal didn't abandon their own.