Chapter Text
The Bunger squirmed as Elgie pushed it down the chute of the machine. She wiped the grease off on her fur and looked down at the Grumpus strapped down on the bed. Their arms were folded across their chest and their cold purple eyes looked blankly up at the sky. They looked like a corpse.
“...Floofty?” she nervously asked, grabbing at the spotty blue bandanna around her neck.
“Yes, Elgabeth?” Floofty said in reply, not moving an inch.
Elgie clawed at her bandanna a bit more before managing to say, “Are you sure it’s worth it?”
“‘Are you sure it’s worth it’ – I’m SURE.” Floofty answered sternly, “It’s for the name of science, after all.”
“I dunno, Floofty,” Elgie quivered as her paw hovered over the button, “If the name of science requested I cut off my own head, I would ignore it.”
“Oh, you poor naïve child. You never ignore the name of science.” Floofty responded casually, “Now, let us proceed with the experiment.”
Elgie sighed as she pressed the button. The Bunger inside the chute squealed as it slid through, and Floofty had just enough time to call out “Be prepared to pull the lever as soon as I swallow it!” before it landed cleanly in their jaws.
Elgie grabbed hold of the lever and prepared to pull. As soon as she heard that obnoxious gulp, she yanked it down.
The roar of the sawblade poisoned the air as it fell. She couldn’t bear to, but Elgie could only watch as the blade slid through Floofty’s neck like a knife through butter and their head tumbled off the machine and onto the ground, where it lay pooling blood.
Elgie looked down at the headless body, and felt her spit become the telltale sweet that signaled anything she did eat today she was quickly going to lose. She began to back away, but no sooner than she did, the corpse began to shake and a beige mass formed at the wound like a fungus. The grisly experiment was not over yet.
She watched in horror as the mound of brown grew into something that looked strangely like a hamburger and two wide googly eyes like the ones Bugsnax had opened on the top bun. Their pupils rolled over to stare at her, then the arms of the body rose mechanically and undid the bed buckles, notably struggling. When they succeeded in this task, the half-Grumpus, half-Bugsnax monstrosity rose from the bed like Grumpenstein’s monster and slid off to stand, their eyes never leaving the terrified red Grumpus even for a second.
“He...hell... oh... El... Elga... beth.” It stuttered, the two halves of its face opening and closing like a puppet, “Hello, Elgabeth.”
Elgie was paralysed in shock. She was just able to utter out, “...Floofty?”
“Ye... Yes.” The thing answered, “I... am... Floof... tee. I am Floofty.”
“I, uh...” Elgie trailed off before something crawled up her throat and into her mouth. She put a paw to her lips to stop it and quickly swallowed it, “Ah, ah... okay, I... I just... I gotta go... to the... outhouse. Yeah. So... goodbye.”
She quickly turned and ran, her jaw clamped tight to delay her being sick. For just a second, she looked back at Floofty, who was busy picking up their goggles from their former head. But yet, they were still staring deep into her – and even though they had a less-than-conventional mouth, she swore they were smiling at her.