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There was something about a warm breeze on a cold night that made Sanji feel uneasy. Maybe it was the pressure change, either way, it made him feel...mucky. Mucky and on edge. He had just finished wiping down the kitchen, hot towel over all the counters. It didn't help with the muckiness but it was the final step in his daily cleaning regimen and he'd be a dead man before skipping it. It had been about fifteen minutes since Sanji's cigarette went out and now it was just dangling from his lips getting its filter chewed while he patted down his pants for his lighter. Two false starts later and the tip was glowing, and Sanji felt a little bit of his tension drain away. He leaned back on the kitchen counter and closed his eyes to listen to the quiet. He wasn't anywhere close to tired; in his usual state of being just a little too keyed up for a normal sleep schedule. There was no sound other than the gentle creaking of the ship. It was late. Usopp was on watch for the next couple of hours, and Sanji was doubtful anyone else was up at this hour. Well, sometimes one person was.
Zoro was usually around, if he wanted to find him. He almost never slept in his cot, even if he didn't have watch. It's on quiet nights like this that Sanji found himself wanting to find the swordsman. He wasn't willing to admit it to the rest of the crew but he liked Zoro's company, even when they were at each other's throats. He especially liked his company when they said nothing at all, content in just the other's presence. He felt his nerves soothed by the quiet company, and it seemed like the swordsman did too. He liked how the night softened their interactions and they could just be two crewmates who trusted each other. It did wonders for his nerves, to just be with someone safe. He doesn't know when he started thinking of Zoro that way - safe - but over time that's what he came to be. The irony wasn't lost on him given how they spend a good chunk of their days beating the crap out of each other. If he were being honest with himself he was getting kind of tired of putting on a front when the crew was around. It's not that he actually wanted to stop fighting with Zoro all the time, he was just having a harder and harder time pretending he didn't enjoy it. He loved having his limits pushed, he loved not having to hold back while sparring. There was this bubbly feeling Sanji got inside when Zoro got the look in his eyes to fight, like his blood was carbonated and he'd been all shaken up.
Sanji tried not to think too hard about the bubbly feeling. The fondness he felt for the other man felt good but the... attraction. The attraction scared him, frankly. It scared him how his own gaze would linger on the other man and even more how Zoro didn't seem to mind. One time, on a particularly hot night, Sanji got caught looking. Zoro was sitting, eyes closed, with his legs out in front of him while Sanji smoked over the railing. Zoro was also shirtless and shimmering in a thin layer of sweat or humidity or both. Sanji was indulging himself, tracing his eyes along the ragged, chest-bisecting scar, following a bead of sweat as it slid over his abs and dispersed in the coarse hairs trailing up from the hem of his pants. Feeling watched, Sanji's eyes darted up to Zoro's face and his throat parched when he saw the other man staring back at him. There were a few beats where it seemed like neither of them were willing to breathe, Sanji could feel the ends of his ears burning and internally cursed his complexion. Surprisingly Zoro didn't look mad, in fact Sanji couldn't quite tell what his expression meant. His face seemed blank but his stare was intense - like he was waiting to see what Sanji was going to do. What Sanji did was tamp out his cigarette and turn tail to the men's quarters. Even if Sanji could admit to himself that he was attracted to Zoro, he didn't really know what to do with those feelings. Besides, as much as he could tell Zoro was feeling more comfortable with Sanji lately, it's not like he was dealing with anything like this… or he felt the same way. Sanji closed his eyes and exhaled a long plume of smoke through his nose.
He pushed himself off the counter he was leaning on, pinching the front of his button down and wafting fresh air through his shirt. He popped the top few buttons to gain a little relief from his own swampiness. He crouched down to the cupboard in front of him and reached into the far back until his hand hit smooth glass. He pulled out some decent sake; not the high end stuff he reserved for parties, but definitely not swill either. A tasteful sipping drink for peaceful evenings between friends. The perfect drink for an unremarkable night. Sanji had decided that if he found Zoro tonight, he'd share a drink with him. After closing up the kitchen Sanji started out on his hunt for the first mate.
—
Warm air crept over the quiet ship, silent save for the sound of Sanji's dress shoes clipping along the aft deck of the Sunny. The muggy breeze was much more tolerable in the cool outside air and Sanji could feel his sweat wicking away as he walked. The cook ran his free hand through his sweat-damp hair, his other hand swinging the bottle of sake at his hip. His hunt for the swordsman was off to a losing start. His first two guesses, the upper bow railing and under the main mast, were busts. No Zoro. His next stop was the Aquarium Bar, even Sanji could admit it was an ideal place for a nap. As soon as Sanji walked into the bar he was surprised to feel how cool it was inside, making him think this guess had to be right. Sure enough, when Sanji rounds his way out of the hallway he comes face to face with a sleeping Zoro. He can tell immediately he's not really asleep, it's more that half alert pseudo-sleep he does when he's on watch. Zoro's lips are tight, tension set in his sharp features, and there isn't a hint of relaxation anywhere on his face. His arms are crossed plumping his chest out in an obscene swell. Sanji definitely let himself oggle. He is sitting on the long bench straight as a board with one leg crossed and one foot planted firmly on the ground, his swords propped against the bench sitting next to him. Blue and green ripples danced around the room and coated everything in a pleasant, sleepy ambience. There was non stop gentle swelling and warping from the moonlight that cut through the water and mingled with the fish in the tanks. Under other circumstances Sanji would dare to call the atmosphere romantic. Maybe even under this one. His eyes traced the dreamy lighting as it glinted off Zoro's dark skin in a way that made it look luminous and beautiful. His chest and arms were mottled with scars which betrayed the young man's age, and Sanji could see his breath rise and fall against his white tank top, damp with sweat. Even seemingly unconscious he cut an intimidating figure, but the Sanji he looked almost ethereal.
Dress shoes tap along the marble tiles of the Bar, stopping when Sanji sat down on the plush red bench next to Zoro. The weight bounced Zoro up a little bit and he stirred, cracking an eye open to glare at the cook. The cook wasn't looking at him when he waggled the bottle of sake toward Zoro, and the swordsman's nasty look melted away. He took the bottle, "Thanks". Sanji didn't say anything and took a drag from his cigarette. Zoro popped the bottle and took a hefty swig, which Sanji frowned at. "Hey, this is pretty good Cook." He punctuated the statement by downing another gulp.
Sanji scoffed, "You'd never guess with how you're drinking it. You could try to savor it at least, stupid moss."
Zoro smirked at the obvious taunt "No, I don't think I need to - now that I know there's probably more of this hiding somewhere on the ship - I'll just find your stash later." He punctuated the statement with another long drink, never breaking eye contact with Sanji. A trickle of sake leaked out of the side of Zoro's mouth and down his neck, eventually soaking into his white tank top. Sanji turned to break his gaze, and to hide the goofy smile he knew was creeping over his face. "Just try it, stupid Marimo. I'll gut you." Zoro smiled even wider, giving Sanji that look that made his stomach feel wrung out. They stay in silence next to each other for a little while; Sanji smoking and Zoro drinking. Sanji's fingers tapped rhythmically on his cheek as his face rested on his palm, eyes closed. His elbow was propped up on one leg while his other started to fidget and jiggle. Zoro side-eyed him, and after a bit, broke the silence, "What's up Cook, you look antsy."
"Shut up, I'm fine." Sanji's leg stilled and he tried to look unaffected, but Zoro could tell he struck a nerve. There was another lull and Zoro seemed deep in thought. Eventually he spoke, "Why did you come find me?"
Sanji felt himself panic, but he steeled himself attempting an unaffected look. "Oh, now I need a reason?"
Zoro kept searching Sanji's face but his eyes stayed closed and relaxed, "No, but I should tell you I'm not exactly in the mood to fight right now Curly."
"'M not here to fight."
Zoro sharpened his voice a bit,"Then what gives?"
"Nothing! Just - lay off okay?"
"Fine."
"Fine!"
Both of them exhaled like kettles letting out steam. Zoro turned to fully face Sanji this time, prompting Sanji to turn away to blow his smoke over his shoulder. He didn't miss the way the Cook muttered "idiot..." under his breath on the exhale. Sanji suddenly realized he had no idea what he was doing here, really. He also didn’t have a good answer to Zoro’s question, not one that wouldn’t basically end up as a confession anyways. It became apparent to him that he was hoping for something when he went looking for Zoro. Maybe he always was. Some kind of deepening of whatever was going on between him and Zoro in these quiet, private moments away from the crew and the rest of the world. But now that he had an opportunity to level with him, he's running away like usual.
Sanji ran a hand through his hair to ruffle out some of his nerves. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Zoro rubbing the back of his neck with an expression that looked, nervous? That was new. Grounding himself around his cigarette, Sanji tried to center himself. Closing his eyes he took one deep breath and then another. His legs stilled and he tried to sink back into the seat and just be there. It had just started working when Zoro's low baritone jolted him out of it again.
"I asked why you came to find me because I - want it to be the same." Zoro seemed nervous and was staring straight ahead, making a face as if he hadn't meant to say anything at all.
"You...want what to be the same?" Sanji asked carefully. He wanted to see where this was going.
The swordsman still wasn't looking at him and Sanji couldn't bring himself to look at the other man either. He just stayed still and waited, this moment felt breakable. Zoro was hesitating, the way he was stumbling over I's and Um's. The swordsman wasn’t really known as a talker but Sanji had never really seen him stutter before. It was freaking him out a little bit. Eventually he got it out.
"I want the reason you came and found me, and the reason I didn't leave the minute I saw you to be the same."
Sanji tried not to look as shocked as he felt, but he had a suspicion his ears were pinking regardless - those bastards. Suddenly he didn't feel so foolish for hoping for more (whatever that meant) on what would be an otherwise uneventful night. He strained to stay cool and tried not to get his hopes up. He could tell Zoro still had more to say so he bit his tongue.
"I want why you brought me booze, and why I drank it to be the same..."
Suddenly Zoro turned and got into his space, their faces were maybe a foot apart and Sanji cracked. Sanji could see Zoro's face now, and it was tinged pink high on his sharp cheekbones. He never normally got red from booze so this had to be something else. He had a wild look in his eye that seemed equal parts determination and pure terror. That look thwarted any of Sanji's last attempts at composure. He could feel a blush spread rapidly across his cheeks and ears, and even worse, blooming down his neck.
Zoro looked him dead in the eyes, "Do you know what I mean?-" His tone was more desperate now, like he actually couldn't stop the words coming out of his mouth. "Is it - do we feel the same? Here?" Zoro looked at his hand before gently placing it over Sanji's heart. "O-Oi, Mosshead!" Sanji gasped, but he stayed perfectly still. He knew that Zoro was capable of gentleness, he saw it when he was with children, with some of the other crew members like Chopper. But this was the first time he was on the receiving end of such a tender touch. He couldn't remember the last time he had been touched like this, with reverence, almost. It made him feel absolutely electric. It scared him to death.
Despite Sanji's apparent vocal protest, Zoro kept his hand firmly planted over his heart. He closed his eyes for a moment and seemed to get lost in feeling the other man's heartbeat thrumming under his palm. Sanji felt like it would beat out of his chest. When he opened his eyes again he looked calmer, but still intense when he locked eyes with the stunned cook.
"S-Sanji - just tell me." The cigarette in Sanji's mouth fell to the floor at the sound of his name, his real name, on Zoro's lips. He never realized how much he had wanted that until it was happening. He was still wrapping his head around the fact this was actually happening, that Roronoa Zoro was confessing to him (in his own verbally stunted way), that he almost forgot to respond to the man. He should probably say something.
"I - yes. I think so." Zoro looked like he was holding his breath and Sanji felt the hand on his chest tighten, bunching up his shirt.
Sanji figured it was time for him to be brave now, so he reached a shaky hand up to mirror Zoro's on his own chest. The shirt over the swordsman's chest was slightly damp, sweat now having cooled, but the body beneath was burning. He could feel Zoro's heart beat racing under his skin.
"We're the same. It's..." Sanji pressed his hand to the beating chest with conviction now, "Zoro, It's the same reason."
Their faces were only a couple inches away from each other now. Zoro took a quick, deep inhale and sucked in the edge of his lower lip to chew it nervously, never breaking that intense eye contact. Sanji still felt like Zoro was searching for something, but this time he finally knew what it was. He dropped his eyes down to Zoro's mouth and then looked back into his eyes, hoping Zoro would take the hint. If Sanji was honest with himself, he had no idea about Zoro's personal history with... intimate relations. He was a private guy in general and Sanji never saw him flirt with anyone or take up any propositions. Unless you count picking fights as flirting, which, actually - in hindsight Sanji was feeling kind of stupid about assuming Zoro didn't feel the same as him.
Zoro snapped him out of his spiraling thoughts when he leaned in just a bit, and then froze.
"Can I come closer?" Sanji looked at Zoro's lips, pink and plumped on the bottom from nervous chewing. They were so close now, just a few more inches...
Sanji nodded and watched as Zoro's face inched forward until he felt their lips connect. Zoro's lips were slightly chapped but so soft, they were perfect. He tasted like sake, clean and bright, and Sanji suddenly felt very self-conscious about tasting like an ash tray. He tamped down that thought and closed his eyes, letting himself melt into the other man. Sanji was a pretty experienced kisser, he was the kind of guy who went out of his way to do it whenever he could, so he had quite a repertoire to compare this kiss to. Sanji was currently reckoning with the fact that this shy, almost chaste kiss he was sharing with Zoro in the dim light of the aquarium bar, blew every other kiss he had in his life out of the water.
When they parted he leaned forward a bit, chasing after Zoro's lips. Seeing this, the wild look from before returned to Zoro's face. Except this time, he was grinning ear to ear. Not a smirk, or that cocky half-smile he does, a genuine ear to ear smile brimming with joy and relief. Zoro slid the hand on Sanji's chest up his neck to cup his face and pull it back into a deeper kiss. Sanji exhaled from his nose and parted his lips, sliding his tongue over Zoro's lips to part them. The noise Zoro let out in response, as close to a moan as Sanji ever heard come out of the man, went straight through him like a bolt. He slid his hand up Zoro's arm, pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss even further. Their movements turned more heated, hands scrambling over each other, and lips parting to make way for hungry tongues. Apparently Zoro gained enough confidence to now force his tongue into Sanji' mouth in a way that was maddening. It felt like Zoro was trying to eat him alive. At some point they parted and were just looking at each other, chests heaving from labored breaths and limbs tangled as close as they could get. Sanji could feel his lips tingling from overuse and a jolt of satisfaction rippled up his spine.
"Is this really happening?" Sanji felt stupid after saying it, of course it was happening! But part of him still couldn't believe his own feelings, let alone Zoro's. Zoro trailed a thumb across Sanji's cheek and smiled, "I hope so, I've had dreams like this but they never felt this real." Zoro smiled easily, "We were also more naked."
Sanji laughed at that, genuinely. They both started giggling in each other's arms like kids and Sanji couldn't believe how giddy he felt. He felt safe, really and truly safe in Zoro's arms, his heart was buzzing. And now that he knew that Zoro shared his feelings he found himself wanting to be a bit selfish. "I want..." Sanji took a deep breath before going on, "I want to keep doing this with you. I want you, Zoro." The other man looked at him fondly, his steely gray eyes turning soft. Sanji continued, "I like you." His blush turned a solid crimson.
Zoro beamed at him, and before he could stop himself he leaned in and kissed Sanji deep again. Their lips parted, staying so close they were almost touching still. Zoro smirked at him, wearing the same competitive look he would get when he got fired up before a fight. He slowly leaned into Sanji's ear and paused before confessing, "well I think I love you, Curly." He pulled back and looked at the object of his affections like he'd just won something, but his face faltered after he got a good look at Sanji's. Tears were welling up in the corners for Sanji's sea-blue eyes, his hair was pushed back and there was no hiding how overwhelmed he was. It was clear on Zoro's face he thought he fucked up, so Sanji knew he needed to say something before there was a misunderstanding. The reality was he hadn't heard anyone tell him they loved him since before his Mom died, and ever since then he thought he could get by without it as long as he could share a bond with those he cared about. But now, having this confession offered up to him, he realized he had been starving for it. Here was Zoro proving everything Sanji thought about himself wrong, and smugly too. And Zoro had no idea. For the first time in what felt like forever Sanji actually really felt loved, unconditionally and without expectation.
The cook was trying to formulate what he wanted to say to the other man, but all that came out were little choked out noises and aborted words. Zoro scanned Sanji's face for a message while caressing his face and hair frantically trying to figure out what he said wrong. Sanji shook his head and the choked noises started turning into hiccupping bursts of laughter as Sanji looked up at Zoro with a blinding smile. A real smile, huge and wide and full of joy. There were still tears streaming down his flushed cheeks but at least now Zoro knew they were happy ones. The swordsman flopped forward to lean his head on Sanji's shoulder.
"Shit, don't scare me like that Curls." Zoro let out in a relieved huff.
Sanji sniffed and wiped his face a bit, "That's what you get for trying to make everything a competition." His voice was pitifully hoarse from holding back tears, but he still put as much bite as he could into the words. "If you're fucking with me I won't forgive you, asshole."
Zoro held him tight and ran his fingers through the soft blonde hairs at the base of Sanji's neck. "I'm not". It was a quick reply and Sanji could tell he was serious. Zoro pulled them apart to look Sanji square in the eye. He watched in annoyance as that bratty smirk worked its way along the swordsman's mouth again. "-and, there is no competition. I like you more. No contest."
Sanji couldn't believe something so corny could actually work on him, but, here he was.
Zoro's smile may have been shit-eating, but his eyes betrayed him, filled with nothing but softness and adoration for the man in front of him.
Sanji balled his fists into Zoro's white tank and pulled him in close, ghosting over his lips.
"Wanna bet?"