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Bruce's hands were shaking as he gripped the steering wheel, shifting in his seat. He's trying to get his breathing under control but it's a struggle with the drugs still in his system. It's been two days. Two. But he can barely remember anything, and that simple fact fuels so many different emotions.
As he drives closer to the manor, his panic steadily rises. He's not ready for the questions, for the loving but overbearing concern, for the misplaced anger. He doesn't know what to tell them, he doesn't even know if he can say the words out loud without puking. What would they even say?
It can happen to anyone?
Why weren't you paying attention?
Would they even believe him?
The headache trapped within Bruce's skull continued to berate him, making his vision blur. He really shouldn't be driving but he couldn't wait there anymore. Surrounded by all the evidence and filth.
The imposing figure of the manor loomed before him as he parked, feeling equally a safe haven as a guillotine. If he's lucky, no one will be home.
His slow and careful steps lead him to the front door, which he doesn't have to unlock. Someone is inside, but likely Alfred. He shouldn't cause Bruce too much trouble then. He debates taking off his coat in the foyer but the thought of losing layers and showing off his disgusting skin- no, best to keep it on. He makes a move to walk towards the stairs, when he hears his name be called. Damn. So close.
Shakily he walks to the living room where.. Alfred and Dick are. Something is wrong, terribly wrong. Alfred's withered face looks like it's aged 30 years, and the disappointment carved into every plane is stifling. Dick.. there is only barely contained rage within his eldest child's face, directed straight at him. Bruce, with all his years of training and finesse, just freezes.
They stare at each other for a long awkward while, seemingly waiting for the other to speak first. Bruce doesn't think he can talk right now with the nausea tempting his throat. He has to lean against the door frame to keep himself from passing out. Eventually, Dick had decided enough was enough.
"You've done a lot of things over the years Bruce. So much that we shouldn't have tolerated. But this? No." Dick chuckled darkly, but there was no humor in the boy's eyes. "He’s been nothing but good to you, patient with you and all your fuck ups. But you just had to turn around and ruin it huh? Couldn't help yourself."
Bruce doesn't understand, what had he done? While he wasn't the best at comprehending social cues, he can tell this is very bad. He looks to Alfred for any hints but the man wont even look at him.
"You had a man who loved you, Bruce. Who would do anything to keep you happy. But what? It wasn't enough? You just had to go fuck someone else? You cheated on Clark! You disgusting pig! I'm done with you. We are all done with you. You have no children anymore, you have no family, you have no partner, no one. Hope you're happy, rot in hell." Dick spat, and as quick as the conversation came, they both left the manor, slamming the door on the way out.
What?
No.
No. No. No. He- no he didn't want it. He didn't want to be- it wasn't. How did they even- the man just kept touching, and Bruce begged. To let go, to stop. It wasn't-
But…
He should have been stronger. He shouldn't have let himself get drugged. He turned his back and the man had hit him and injected him with whatever so quickly. But he's Batman. There are no excuses. Batman can't get- he should have been better.
He's going to be sick.
As fast as his numb legs can carry him, he makes his way to the nearest bathroom to puke out what was essentially nothing. He had already emptied whatever was in his stomach when.. it was happening. He's just dry heaving, only making the dizziness worse.
And when he finally goes to stand up, Bruce immediately passes out smacking his head on the way down.
—-
When Bruce wakes up, he's lying on the floor. It's dark, cold, uncomfortable, and quiet. Was it all a dream? Did he never leave, was he going to come back? No, Bruce is in his house, and no one was coming to his aid.
Because he's filthy.
Because he's disgusting.
Because he's worthless now.
Who would want used goods? Of course they left. How could he subject his children to that? His beloved Clark? Everyone who's ever been in his life had wanted 1 of two things. His money or his body.
His children needed homes and support.
Alfred needed a job.
Clark, well.. Bruce wasn't exactly known for his loving personality.
But even if they only needed the money he could provide, why would they want it from him? It's a stated fact that people trust others who are objectively attractive or pretty. And he's grotesque now.
It's his own fault.
He could still help those he loved, but he's learned his place.
--‐--
For the first few months after the break up, Clark feels like hell. Almost two years down the drain, it barely feels real. But Clark knew what he saw, even if he only had the stomach to look for a second. He can never forget Bruce bent over, letting some man have his way with him.
Clark wanted to believe it wasn't what it was, that Bruce was in trouble. But he wasn't fighting back, hell, the man wasn't even holding him down. And The Batman can get out of any situation he doesn't want to be in.
The days after that were a blur, he guesses he told one one the kids which set off a chain reaction, since everyone cut the man off. The kids, the league, even Alfred. The older gentleman, making his way back to England. The support he's gotten in the last year has been a great help to getting him back on his feet. He's very glad that the kids still come to him and are in his life, although he suspects they might be subconsciously trying to fill in the role Bruce has in their lives with Clark. But he doesn't mind, he's glad to step up.
While it has been hard to not just run back to Bruce, with how deeply he loved him, it's for the best. Clark hasn't spoken to him since before that fateful night, not wanting to hear whatever excuses he had. Though no one has heard from the man, Clark was a bit surprised to learn that Bruce never tried to reach out or beg any of the kids to talk to him. Maybe he truly understood just how badly he fucked up.
If Clark is honest with himself, he still loves Bruce. He had been in love with him for almost a decade, he doesn't think it will truly go away when he remembers the fond memories. But the pain of that night keeps him from reaching out.
The only way they know he is actually alive is that he still patrols Gotham, seemingly that's all he does nowadays. Wayne Industries taking a back seat. He gives a wide birth to the kids and stays in his own lane, updating the shared database and making sure all the safe houses are always stocked. Too little too late though.
He remembers how shocked Ma and Pa were when he told them what happened, Pa just had this furrow in his brow but Ma could hardly believe it. Neither could Clark.
He wished this was all a bad dream and he could wake up.
-----
This case Tim and Jason were working was driving them insane, this one weasel kept slipping from their hands. He was a rotten creature of a human and Jason couldn't wait to put a bullet into his skull. He was a serial rapist, and a smart one at that. He has been able to avoid the bats for months since he's been on their radar, and so many lives have been altered because of him. He's unique in that he has no real preference for who he attacks, but likes to target imported people. Politicians, cops, celebrities. But really anyone he can get his hands on.
When the duo gets back to their new base of operations, Tim immediately goes onto the database to fetch the reports and filter them to those with the category of 'rape' but Jason stops him.
"We know this guy doesn't really care about leaving his DNA everywhere, let's look through all the files that pop up again. Maybe we're missing something." Jason stated. Tim cocked his head, and mulled it over.
"I suppose, but if there's a lot then you have to help me go through with them." Tim threatens, a smile dancing across his face. Jason lets out a huff and lightly smacks Tim's head but ultimately agrees since there are a lot more reports to go through without filters.
It takes them many hours and they still haven't gotten through all of them, only going back to a year. He's been a very busy man, which only serves to tick Jay off more. He's about to call it quits for the night when one report stands out. It's uncategorized, which no report should be. He who shall not be named drilled that into all of them. Reports like that get forgotten about and left behind, so he clicks on it.
It's dated a year ago, from September, a date which sounds familiar but Jason can't put his finger on it. There's no victim name or description which is odd. In fact the entire report is weird. When there should be paragraphs of detail on when and where, there's nothing. The only things attached to the report are pictures, a few videos, and a toxicology report. And when Jason looks to whoever made the report it's.. Bruce. He made this report which is only making this weirder.
He opens up the first picture and is a man's neck that is severely bruised, in the shape of handprints.
The second is a man's chest -presumably the same- with many more angry bruises, cuts, and welts all across him. There's even a bitemark. Jason sighs as he recognizes that this is likely another rape case.
The third and final image is the man's inner thigh, with so, so many bite marks.
Jason questions his own sanity before he goes to open the video, making sure his head phones are on. But right before he clicks play, he recognizes the metadata shown on screen. C0ntact.f00tage.BW, meaning Jason's going to get a front row seat to whatever Bruce saw that night. Fantastic.
He watches Bruce meet the man that they have been after unintentionally, seeming like Bruce was chasing another case but their man could get Bruce closer to his target. So he follows the man to a VIP room, playing his Brucie role when he turns his back just for a second; the man hits Bruce with an electrified baseball bat. Disorienting B for only a second but it was enough time for the man to inject Bruce with something. Into his neck. Where the man is known to inject his vict-
When the man starts to undress Bruce is when Jason starts skipping ahead, not being able to bear witness to this. But while skipping he is forced to hear Bruce's cries, The Batman begging to stop, when everything becomes too much and Bruce disassociates to mentally try and protect himself.
He sees the moment Clark pops his head in and sees what is happening, but misinterprets it horrifically.
Jason clicks out of it and turns to find a trash bin, which he promptly expels his dinner. Continuing to heave when he feels Tim's small hands rub his back. How is he going to tell Timmy?
-‐----
Dick was racing to where Tim said he was, receiving an urgent message that he needed to get there ASAP. Fearing the worst he dropped everything and speed to their new base. Tim didn't say much in the message but he could read the undertext. Something happened.
The two figures come into view as Dick parks his bike, Jason with his head in his hands sitting in a chair and Tim with a haunted look in his eyes, one hand on Jay's shoulders. As he jogs up to them, he can hear Jason softly crying and Tim doesn't look that far behind.
"Hey, hey I’m here. What happened? What's wrong?" Dick questions, trying to take in his surroundings. They aren't in uniform so likely they haven't just gotten back from patrol. There's no one else in the building, he hasn't heard of any rogues causing trouble tonight. Tim tries to speak a few times but nothing comes out other than a few pitiful squeaks.
"Dickie.. it’s.. I dont even- uh." Jason hickuped. Oh this is bad, very bad. His little brother doesn't call him that unless it's something awful. Jason finally looked up, his red rimmed eyes and quivering lip was a gut punch to Dick. "The case we've been working on. With the.. rapist. He. There was a report. Uncategorized. The pictures. Videos-" Jason started to cry again, not being able to say the words. Dick was left more confused, what was going on? But it seemed Tim had finally gotten his voice.
And Tim said something that would change everything.
"Dick.. that night. Bruce never cheated. He was drugged and raped."
—--
His body hurts.
Not the satisfying burn of a good patrol. The bone deep ache that radiates throughout his entire body and in a suspiciously British voice tells him he's gone too far.
He doesn't care anymore.
Bruce knows that as much as he likes to pretend, he does awful with isolation. It feels suffocating and blistering, but what can he do?
He's had time to reflect on the incident, and look at it objectively. He understands now that neither the kids nor Clark realized it wasn't consensual, and likely if he told them with proof, things could go back to normal. But not really. He knows they would be riddled with guilt, even if Bruce was the one who should have been paying attention.
And it was only a matter of time before he fucked up and did something that actually warranted this response, at least now it was a clean break. It's easier to move on if you hate someone.
So Bruce, in all his wisdom, stays silent.
Mostly.
He's only human. So if he left a report in the depths of their archive? That's no one's business.
—-
The new cave was silent despite the amount of people that were present, although there were soft cries. All of the Batkids were in this room, taking in all of the information.
They're having this meeting to make a plan to fix this, but everyone is still in shock. Jason is especially taking this hard, since for all his posturing with Bruce about the Joker, he was still a daddy's boy at heart. And knowing his father had been so incredibly hurt and left abandoned tore him apart.
No one could really wrap their heads around this, even with the video evidence. This was The Batman they were talking about! But Dick knew better, anyone could be taken advantage of, strength be damned.
But one thing was certain though.
Clark needed to know.
-----
Dick fidgeted with his hands, picking at the skin around his nails. A habit he had been able to kick for years but has come back with a vengeance. He was waiting for Clark to come home from work, but it felt like a bomb was strapped to his chest. Dick has rehearsed what he will say over and over, but he knows it's going to kill Clark to learn the truth they only found out hours ago.
When he hears the condemning click of the front door lock, he knows he's out of time. Dick keeps his eyes forward and tries to calm his heartbeat though he knows it's useless since Clark has likely been listening to it since he got out of work. He hears the other man take off his suit jacket and shoes, putting them in their respective places before heading to the armchair next to Dick. No one says anything for a while, Dick too engrossed in the devastation he is going to cause and Clark seeing that the boy needs time.
Dick finally takes a deep breath and faces Clark, looking deep into his eyes before faltering. Hesitantly he grabs the other man's hand to give him support.
"Clark... there's been a development. We learned something that we thought we already knew but were so, so wrong." Dick starts, trying to glimpse at the other man's face but feeling too much shame to do so for long. "Before I tell you, there is proof and it's been fact checked. We had stumbled upon it, he never said anything. And no, we haven't spoken to him." The boy reassured, needing Clark to understand this.
Him? Who is he? Clark can feel the dread start to crawl under his skin, he does not like where this is going at all. But he nods his head in agreement, the kids found this by accident, not because anyone told them.
"... Clark... that night you saw Bruce. The other man is a person of interest in one of our cases. For.. being a serial rapist. Bruce was wearing the um camera contacts... it. Well- um." Dicks voice wavered, eyes welling up with tears. All he wants to do is sob but he needs to get this out. This misunderstanding has ruined lives, and frankly the vigilante doesn't know if it is even able to be mended. But they have to try.
"Bruce didn't cheat on you. He didn't consent to anything, he had enough drugs in his system that it would have killed anyone else."
Clark feels like all the air has left his lungs, nothing could have prepared him for those words. That can't be true. It can't. Because if it is, he abandoned his love when he would need the reporter the most. He would have had no support system for the last year, dealing not only with his already horrible abandonment issues that have been given truth, a breakup that he did nothing to deserve and had no chance to defend himself, and the aftermath of a rape.
But Dick wouldn't have come to him if he wasn't positive, he mentioned footage. Which the thought of the children having to verify its legitimacy of the video of their father's rape is going to make him puke. Clark doesn't even know if he can puke, but he's about to find out.
How can they even fix this? They're going to have to go to any of their mutual friends and clear his name, but do they tell them the truth? Can Bruce and Clark go back to before? Would Bruce even want to speak to them anymore?
Could Bruce forgive him of his sin?
-------
Clark felt the soft plush of Kansas grass cushion his descent to the ground, stopping before his childhood home. He doesn't move yet, feeling too unsteady on his feet. It's dark out but the man isn't sure what time it is, maybe closer to midnight if he had to guess.
After Dick left his apartment, the Kryptonian didn't move for hours. Replaying every moment of the last few months over and over again. The gentle warmth of support from everyone close to him turned to ash in his mind, and the dread only grew in his gut. He had been trying to come up with ways to get all the people in his life to forgive Bruce without overstepping and telling them something he shouldn't. But that was never his strong suit, it was always Bruce's.
Slippers come into his view as he stares at the ground, and a soft wrinkled hand cups his cheek. Clark nuzzles into it as the tears finally escape his eyes, the weight of the truth bearing down on him. How can he move forward? How can he make this right?
His mother ushers him inside the warm home and gets him situated on the couch so she can go make him something to drink. His father comes to sit next to him, rubbing his back. But the love they try to give him isn't getting through, his heart frozen and in agony.
“Son.. what is it? What's going on?” Pa questioned softly, trying to get Clark to look him in the eye.
“God Pa, I don't even know. How. It's so- Ma, Mama. It's so awful. I.. I feel like a monster.” Clark started to sob, curling in on himself. His throat closes on itself as he tries to choke out words.
“Oh Clark.. you're not- what happened?” Ma crooned quietly, unease settling in her stomach.
“He-Bruce, he never. God, he never cheated on me. What I saw, it wasn't. It wasn't consensual. The kids they.. found footage Bruce took that night. It shows. I left him. I abandoned him when he needed me most. He was so drugged he couldn't even fight back-” Clark hiccuped. He couldn't say anything else, the shame eating him alive. How could he be so stupid? How could he be so wrong?
Does he even deserve to be Superman anymore?
His parents are shocked into silence, trying to process this horrific truth. While a small part of them is relieved that the boy never cheated on their son, a larger part is fearful for the road ahead. They know Bruce is a very complicated man on a good day, this will be adding gasoline to a fire.
Clark continues to sob, mumbling incoherently. Despite how much he wants it, he resists his parents' comfort. How can he take their love when Bruce was left with nothing? When the Dark Knight's fears come true, yet again, and he had no one to lean on.
All Clark wanted to do was go to sleep and never wake up again.
—--
Clark made the executive decision to meet up with Bruce first and do it alone. He didn't give Bruce the chance to state his case before, he will give him the opportunity to cuss him out in peace, now. He feels like history repeats itself as he waits for the Dark Knight to return from his patrol. He has no way to prepare for what's ahead of him, it feels like a chasm has opened between them and there's no way across.
Clark felt the rumble of the Batmobile before he heard it, the purr of the engine echoing off the walls loudly. Clark floated awkwardly in a corner of the cave, not immediately obvious to a normal person but any bat worth their weight would notice him right away. As the sleek tank squealed into its parking spot, the ever elegant figure, at one point he knew better than himself, slipped out and made his way to the medbay. The cape comes off first, letting Bruce feel more human than shadow. Then gauntlets, only at that point does Bruce apparently notice Clark. The bat pauses momentarily before simply continuing to take off his armour.
Clark only understands how difficult this is going to be once Bruce peels off his chest and back plate. The sickly pale color of his skin, the sores, cuts, and bruises tinted with infection, far too many new scars than he should have gained in a single year. Bruce looks like hell.
Clark starts to inch towards the other man as he transitions between the Batman to Bruce Wayne. Each inch of skin causes the Kryptonian to feel more sick to his stomach, especially when he sees scars that are too controlled and similar to be given in battle on his inner forearms and thighs. He waits to be acknowledged by the other, simply taking in the man before him.
Only after all of his armour is taken off and the man is in more comfortable clothes does he turn to the alien. Bruce doesn't look at him, staring down at the floor, nor does he speak. Okay then, the progress they had made before has regressed.
"Hi.. um. I-I don't know how to say this, but I'm sure that you wouldn't want me beating around the bush. The kids. They found the report you made, by accident. Bruce... I'm so sorry. I don't even know how I could ever make this up to you. If I can. You should have been given a change to at least defend yourself but no one gave it to you. I'm so sorry Bruce." Clark's eyes were starting to water but this isn't about him, he needs to make this right. Or at least try.
Bruce just shuffled in place but never said anything, his eyes continuing to stare into the concrete.
"What happened to you wasn't your fault, nor what we did after the fact was either. We messed up when we didn't try to listen to you, all you would have had to say was one word and it would have been different. We could hav-"
"Would you have believed me?" Bruce whispers solemnly, still refusing to make eye contact. His voice sounds so hollow, like he'd been gutted and left a shell.
Would he have believed it? He wants to think he would have? Or at least given him a chance. But until Dick told him about the footage he'd been so sure, he thought he knew what he saw. He has no choice but to answer honestly.
“..I don't know. I don't know what I would have done. But I know now I do. I doubt it means much but I-” Clark faltered, feeling so out of his depth.
“Bruce.. there are no words to come close to what I've done to you. I can't imagine what this last year has been like, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I don't know if there is anything we can do to make this easier for you, or if you ever even want to speak to any of us again. But I just wanted to tell you in person, and we will respect any decision you make.” he breathed, finally getting all the words out. Despite how uncomfortable he was, Bruce deserved the effort.
Bruce didn't make a move for a long time, taking in his ex-boyfriends words. He isn't sure if the man is genuine or if he's guilty. He can't tell anymore.
“How are the kids?” Bruce asked simply, desperate for any information about them. He can handle a lot of things, but the deliberate loss of all of his kids is devastating.
“They uh.. they're shook up right now. They feel awful, Jay is taking it very hard. Dick was the one who told me everything.” Clark answered. While he hadn't had a chance to speak to all of them yet, from what he's heard this has torn the kids up inside. He forgets how young they all are.
Bruce doesn't blame any of them, not really. He's sure a portion of that is his unhealthy amount of self blame but it's just the way he feels. His children are still his children, and Clark..
He's selfish enough that he would jump at the chance to be with Clark again, even if it just be due to guilt and pity. The Kryptonian doesn't deserve someone who's damaged goods, too weak to defend himself. Too stupid to see through a lie. Bruce is disgusting now. But he isn't strong enough to deny that man. Never was. Never will be.
Bruce finally brings himself to look up and face the other man, staring into his eyes. He can see the unshed tears, the deep remorse, the choking guilt. Who is he kidding? Clark has always been so painfully easy to read. He can't lie to save his life. Bruce opens his mouth a few times, trying to gather the courage to ask the one question that's been hovering in his mind for so long.
“If you had known then.. the truth.. would you have still broken up with me?” He asks, so softly. His voice barely above a whisper, deeply fearing the answer.
“God no B, never. I would do anything to go back in time and slap myself. I was the one who was in the wrong, I was stupid. Bruce, I don't know if this is the right thing to say but I never stopped loving you. Not once. I wanted to reach out so many times but I held myself back, which feels so wrong now. I know I don't deserve it but I'd do anything to be with you again.” Clark rambled, desperate to have the other man understand him.
Bruce's face crumpled at the confession, feeling grief and relief in equal parts.
“I love you too, Clark. I.." Bruce moves to wipe a tear that fell down his face. “and I want to be with you too but.. I don't know if I can be that for you. At least not now. I can't even think about doing anything.. intimate without wanting to puke. I want it so bad, but I just cant-” Bruce interrupted himself with a sob before muffling himself.
“We don't have to think about that now! Or ever. Really Bruce, that's not what this is about at all. I just need you to know I'm serious, we all are. We want to make things right with you. If you'll let us?” Clark pleaded. All the Kryptonian wants to do is wrap Bruce up in a blanket and keep him safe from the world, to make this pain go away.
Bruce's arms wrap around himself, trying to self soothe. While he wants nothing more than to have his family back, he's scared.
“..On one condition, you guys can’t… can't leave again. Not like that. I won't survive it a second time.” Bruce whispered, needing his request to be heard but too insecure to put power behind it. But it's true, he could handle the fighting, or silence as long as they are near. As long as they don't leave.
“Of course Bruce, I won't leave you again. And I'll spend the rest of my life proving that.” Clark declared with purpose. It was the easiest promise he's ever made.
The tension around Bruce's shoulders lesson and he takes a few steps forward. He continues until he can rest his head on Clark's collarbone, greedily taking the comfort that is easily given by the warm man.
For the first time in so long, Bruce can breathe.