Chapter Text
Present day
She tried to fight the feeling in her stomach but it was no use “Oh god” she muttered to herself….and there it was, all of it, Detective Sergeant Swain’s stomach contents in the bottom of the toilet bowl.
All the feelings and words she’d desperately tried to hold in came out in another way. Feelings of guilt and regret, mixed with excitement and something else she couldn’t quite name forced her stomach to rebel against her.
As she leant against the bathroom sink, the white porcelain cold against her clammy skin, she looked in the bathroom mirror with cloudy eyes, there she was, she thought- bad mother, bad wife, bad everything.
Hearing a buzz from the bathroom floor, she slowly sunk back down leaning against the bath, hands shaking slightly as she picked up her phone, her guilt telling her not to look and to forget anything ever happened but she knew she couldn’t run from this, she wasn’t really sure she wanted to even if she could, her heart was racing, she took a breath to steady herself, then wiping away the tears that had formed in her eyes but hadn’t yet escaped, she looked at the screen-
Carla- We need to talk x
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A few weeks earlier
A frosty Monday morning, Lisa wiped the sleep from her eyes, Becky groaned at the
piercing sound of the alarm “Coffee?” Lisa said daring to put her feet out from under
the duvet into the cold air.
“Yes, please” mumbled Becky.
Another week of routine Lisa thought- work, home, eat, sleep and repeat.
She loved her job and her family but her life felt monotonous, like there was something missing that she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but she was lucky wasn’t she? She told herself. Lots of people wanted what she had- a loving wife, a beautiful daughter, and not forgetting their furball, Blue.
“Much on at work today?” Becky asked, blowing on the edge of her coffee cup.
“Trying to make some headway on these muggings” Lisa said buttoning up her crisp white collar right to the top. “Which reminds me, be careful, when you go out, yeah?”
“I’m quite capable of looking after myself Lis, I used to work for the police remember?” Becky snapped back slightly.
Becky had given up her job on the force a few years earlier after an incident with an assailant in a car, she was badly injured although thankfully nothing life changing, it had however had a profound effect on Betsy, she was terrified, scared one day she might lose both of her mums, so after a lot of discussions between them, Becky begrudgingly decided to get a safer job and spend more time at home- whilst overall she knew it was the right decision she still sometimes felt deflated that she had given up her career.
Lisa walked over to Becky, warmly rubbing her shoulder “I know that love, I just
worry” she paused to make eye contact with Becky “They are targeting women on their own so I just want to make sure you and Betsy are safe”
Lisa turned to pick up her blazer “I’ve got to get to work”
“Ok, love you” Becky said with a small smile
“Love you too” Lisa said as she went out the door.
Lisa had often wondered if she said this out of habit rather than anything else, she loved Becky so she wasn’t lying when she said it but there was a definite shift between them recently and she couldn’t quite pinpoint the cause of it.
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It had already been a long day at the station, enquiries that were dead end’s, no solid leads or evidence and tea always going cold as they watched the screens closely.
“I can’t believe we haven’t got anything from the CCTV yet”
“We’ll get there Sarge” DC Green said looking up from his computer.
“We’re not getting there fast enough, we can’t keep letting them get away with attacking women on our patch,” DS Swain remarked, throwing paperwork on her desk in frustration.
“You’ll be no use to those women or yourself if you don’t take a break soon, you’ve been here since the crack of dawn and I can hear your stomach rumbling from here”
DS Swain rolled her eyes, looking at the clock- 2PM, she didn’t want to take a break but she knew he had a point “Fine! I’m going to Roy’s, I’ll grab you a coffee whilst I’m there, just make sure you let me know as soon as we get any leads”
“Yes boss!” he said whilst giving Lisa a mocking salute.
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As Lisa turned the corner, she smiled as Roy’s cafe came into her line of sight. She has been coming here a lot recently, there is something comforting about it, warm and homely, and Roy does make excellent coffee which is pretty much all that has been fueling her recently.
She has been neglecting herself a bit- not eating properly and sleep was a struggle. The muggings constantly playing on her mind and eating at her conscience. She just wanted her daughter to feel safe and would never forgive herself if anything happened to Betsy or any other woman on her watch.
Just before she got to the cafe door, the smell of bacon and coffee emanating from the building her phone buzzed lightly in her pocket, she looked down at the message.
DC Green- Sarge, we’ve found something.
She’s not sure what she felt first, the hot coffee on her shirt or the ringing in her ear from the brunette shouting at her.
“Shit! Watch where you’re going blondie!”