Kiss Him

by Danilla

Summary:

Top tried really hard not to think about that kiss afterwards. He couldn't afford to think about soft lips and the taste of smoke, he knew the dangerous path that could lead him to, so doing his best to ignore it seemed to be the right way through this.

It wasn't exactly news for him that he wanted to do things to Sand. He wasn't blind, Sand was hot, even though he had the awful need to treat Top like trash. In fact, the way Sand treated him sometimes made him want to react, he's caught himself more times than he wanted to admit wondering what would Sand do if Top surprised him with a kiss mid argument. Sometimes, it was even sillier than that. Whenever Sand was playing at YOLO's, Top would entertain the idea of paying him a drink.

 

Or

After Mew challenged Sand to kiss Top, Top starts getting the urge to do it again. They all work it through in the relationship.

Notes:

Hi!!! This was originally meant to be sandtop, but it somehow snowballed into this aha <3 but I liked the result, I think polyamory is the answer for everything

I hope you enjoy it!

 

"I dare you to kiss... Top."

 

Top made himself not to react, keeping his non-impressed expression. He heard Cheum cheering loudly, and pointedly ignored this, too. Top locked eyes with the boy who hated him and almost flinched from Sand's expression alone; he had a fierce look on his face, lips quirked up in amusement. He let his eyes wander to Mew again, searching for something, anything, that could indicate the challenge was meant as a joke, but was met with pure glee and expectation. In fact, everyone around him seemed to share this trait.

 

Top turned his eyes back to Sand, who was now looking at his boyfriend, as if expecting some sort of approval, which he was answered with a lazy nod and smile. He felt himself holding his breath when Sand actually started moving towards him.

 

Watching Sand crawling in his direction felt like a type of out of body experience. He'd never seen Sand like this before, playful and almost seductive, at least not directed to him. He remembers watching Sand flirting from afar, taking home boys and girls alike from YOLO's. What always stood out to Top was the easiness Sand seemed to have in those moments, as if knowing exactly what he had to offer, and knowing he wouldn't get turned off, not with a face like that. Right now, it felt all too similar. 

 

With Top, he wasn't like that, Sand reserved all his hatred for him. Whenever they would cross paths, no matter when or where they were, Sand would make sure Top knew he still despised him. Cursing him loudly or showing his middle finger was a common occurrence, but the main one was the dirty look Sand would throw at him anytime he felt his presence.

 

It was fine. Even if Top would answer Sand equally sometimes, he knew he deserved it. Sand was combative to him and he had a reason for that, so getting yelled at and being bored holes by Sand's eyes felt like normal by now. Water was wet, the sky was blue, Sand hated him. Despite all this, Top never felt intimidated by Sand, not like he was right now.

 

Sand stopped in front of him and pushed him firmly, trapping him between himself and the sofa. Top stared at shiny eyes and smug full lips, and couldn't stop himself from thinking Boeing was crazy for leaving him for Top. 

 

"I'm sorry for stealing your boyfriend." He blurted out, not meaning to. For a second, he worried it would bring out Sand's bad side, the one that couldn't hold back the anger, but Sand huffed a laugh, smiling even brighter.

 

"Asshole. Shut up." Sand answered back, and although the words were familiar, there was none of Sand's usual anger.

 

Sand's hands went for his face, and finally (and Top didn't think he was so expectant for that) kissed him. 

 

Sand kissed him as if trying to swallow him whole, fast and messy, and completely in control. Top felt Sand's tongue licking his way inside his mouth and finally started trying to kiss back. The rhythm was off, Top couldn't quite find a way to match it. He felt Sand's thumb brushing gently against his cheek, and noticed vaguely how it contrasted with the actual kiss. 

 

Top took note of how close their bodies were, with Sand practically on his lap. He pathetically brought his hands up to hold Sand's jacket, not quite sure if he wanted to push him away.

 

Sand tasted like cigarettes, and even if Top usually didn't like the taste that much, he felt like it fit Sand. The way Sand always had a cigarette between his fingers and between his lips, the way he always smelled like smoke. It was just like he imagined Sand would taste.

 

The kiss felt longer than it actually was. He knew it didn't last more than a few seconds, but time was passing particularly slowly in that moment for Top, feeling both hands cradling his face, and Sand making sure to take away all the breath from his lungs. Soon, he heard Mew and Ray start to protest, yanking them apart, but not before Sand giving one last lick to his lips. Top's hand immediately followed to his face, trying to wipe Sand out of him, while Mew wrapped his arms around Top.

 

"Hey! Enough!" Mew laughed openly. "You guys just can't lose, can you?"

 

Sand was laughing too, clearly enjoying himself. Sand wasn't looking at Top (and Top didn't quite get why a small part of him was bothered by that), instead, his eyes were turned to Mew right beside Top. Top leaned into Mew, not taking his eyes out of Sand.

 

"Here's what I think, Mew. Giving him ten out of ten is too much. He sucks." Sand mocked.

 

"Oh, please." Top couldn't stop himself from getting angry. "You suck! You came in without rhythm."

 

"I didn't want to have rhythm with you." Sand bit back.

 

Top shook his head in disapproval, not wanting to retort again. Top was used to Sand's provocations, but he still felt himself raise to it. It didn't help the knowledge that everyone was on Sand's side in general, even Mew, who was laughing at Sand's words. Even so, Mew squeezed him a little against him, and Top leaned further, looking away. 

 

He heard Sand snorting and thinks he saw Sand whispering something to Ray, but Top didn't raise his eyes to confirm, he didn't want to look at Sand.

 

—

 

"Did you enjoy the challenge?" Mew asked him once they were back in Top's car. Top kept his eyes firmly on the street.

 

Top could ask him which challenge he was talking about, but he knew.

 

"That was your idea." 

 

"I know. Did you enjoy it?"

 

"No." He answered shortly, not really wanting to think about it.

 

"I never asked you to kiss back." Mew pressed and Top spared him a glance. Mew no longer had the amusement from before in his eyes. He wasn't angry, Top could tell, but he was serious.

 

"I figured that's what you wanted." Top shrugged tiredly, hoping Mew would let it go.

 

"It was." Mew nodded, followed by a long period of silence. "I just didn't think it would go like that. It didn't seem like he hated you anymore."

 

Top replayed the kiss in his mind. It was true Sand didn't hold back on the kiss, even if it was messy and purposely ugly. Sand cradled his face with both hands and even used tongue. He's sure Sand from a year ago — or even a month ago — wouldn't do that.

 

"I think he just wanted to show off. Make fun of me." He said and saw Mew nodding from the corner of his eyes.

 

"I know. But it was different. And you enjoyed it."

 

"I said I didn't, Mew.".

 

Mew didn't press any further and Top was grateful for that.

 

—

 

Top tried really hard not to think about that kiss afterwards. He couldn't afford to think about soft lips and the taste of smoke, he knew the dangerous path that could lead him to, so doing his best to ignore it seemed to be the right way through this.

 

It wasn't exactly news for him that he wanted to do things to Sand. He wasn't blind, Sand was hot, even though he had the awful need to treat Top like trash. In fact, the way Sand treated him sometimes made him want to react, he's caught himself more times than he wanted to admit wondering what would Sand do if Top surprised him with a kiss mid argument. Sometimes, it was even sillier than that. Whenever Sand was playing at YOLO's, Top would entertain the idea of paying him a drink.

 

The first time they met, actually met, Sand was crying. At the time, Top was seeing Boeing, barely at the beginning of a relationship.

 

If Top was being honest, he knew Boeing was already in a relationship when he started seeing him. He didn't know who it was, and he didn't really care enough about that unknown other guy to stop drowning himself in Boeing. By the time the shit hit the fan, Top was too deep into Boeing to feel any type of remorse.

 

Still, seeing the unknown other guy for the first time, with red face, runny nose and absolutely wrecked expression was enough to make Top feel a little guilty. That night Sand pathetically tried to hit Top. He did it a few more times later on, but Sand wasn't a fighter and it was easy enough to stop him. That first time, though, he somehow managed a few hits, loudly blaming Top for going after his boyfriend, before Top could pin him against the nearest wall, both hands restraining his wrists. Sand's eyes finally focused on Top's, and Top watched Sand's face go from anger back to sadness, sobbing loudly before new tears flooded his eyes. 

 

When Top let go, that time, Sand didn't try going after him, he made his way to the ground, back still pressed against the wall and hands going to cover his face.

 

A few weeks after that, he and Boeing agreed on staying only as sort of friends. The novelty of their arrangement finally wearing off for both of them. Top remembers thinking about Sand when they parted ways, he wondered if Boeing would be going back to him now that they were done with each other, and he remembers thinking that maybe Sand didn't deserve to go through that heartbreak again. That didn't happen, and Top isn't really sure why he considered that to be a relief for him.

 

After that, any time Sand would see him, he would leave a mean remark or just plainly send him to hell. Sometimes he thought it was hot, the way Sand would spot him in the crowd just to lift his middle finger to him mid-song, or the way Sand would sometimes successfully steal Top's company for the night just for the hell of it. It didn't bother Top as much as it should, not until Sand went out of his way to ruin his newfound life with Mew. Somehow, it still hadn't occurred to him the extent of their animosity. So, when Sand accepted to kiss him, with no protests nor complaints, it came as a surprise.

 

The kiss also changed a few things other than Top's messy thoughts. Mew had been quieter around him, Ray became friendly with him for the first time, and Sand began to ignore him. No mean remarks, no ugly gestures, and Top realized that bothered him more than anything Sand ever did to him.

 

They were at the hostel when Top decided to question him. Mew and Ray were busy going through a few bills on the table close to the entrance, practically sitting on each other's laps, and Sand had just arrived, kissing Ray hello and sitting on the armrest of the chair Mew and Ray were sharing. He excitedly talked about his day with both of them, easily including Mew in the dialogue.

 

Top observed a little far from them, where he was sitting by himself on his phone, noticing Sand never once raised his eyes in his direction.

 

When Sand was leaving again, he kissed Ray once more and squeezed Mew's shoulder friendly, sending them both blinding smiles along with his goodbyes. Sand was about to walk past Top, when he intervened.

 

"Won't you ever talk to me?" Top asked, standing up.

 

Sand raised his eyebrows at him in surprise, which was fair since Top very rarely started any of their interactions.

 

"Why should I?" Sand challenged in return.

 

"We're friends now." Top said back, but not even he believed in those words. He knew they didn't really need to ever talk to each other, even if their boyfriends were best friends.

 

"We're not friends. I don't like you." Sand pointed, but the harsh words didn't have the heat it once held.

 

Top pointedly made sure not to give any thoughts about the part of him that felt glad on being insulted again.

 

"Well, it's just polite." Top said, raising one of his eyebrows. "How about a 'hello'? Can you manage it?"

 

"I just don't think you deserve it." Sand bit back, a smirk tugging on the corner of his lips. It felt like a victory, even though he was not sure why. "I don't go around being polite with street dogs."

 

At that point, Mew and Ray had their full attention on them, probably wary of a possible fight.

 

"I can imagine it, you're not very civil." Top smirked back.

 

"You have no idea." Sand gave him a challenging smile. Top's heart skipped a beat, still not used to receiving it.

 

"Is everything alright?" Mew asked, approaching them, hand going for Top's arm. Ray came soon after, looping his arm around Sand's waist.

 

"Your boyfriend here is feeling lonely, wanted someone to talk to him." Sand said to Mew, but didn't let his eyes off Top's. "And I'm not really doing charity right now."

 

"I just thought it would be the polite thing to do. But I forgot you have no manners." 

 

He felt Mew's eyes on him, but he couldn't stop looking at Sand.

 

"Not to you." And suddenly, he didn't know how to reply to that. There was no way for him to make Sand do what he didn't want to, and he couldn't argue any further.

 

"Top is just trying to get along." Mew said for him. "Maybe you should start being the polite one, Top."

 

Mew's hand traced his arm, settling for his hand.

 

"It's true. Hello, Sand." 

 

Sand held his gaze a little longer before answering, smile still brightening his features, "Hello, Top."

 

—

 

The next few times they met, Top could notice the huge change in how Sand treated him, and even acted around him. As soon as they saw each other for the first time after that, Sand approached him, barely containing the amusement on his face. 

 

"Hello, Top." Sand said somehow ironically.

 

"Hello, Sand." Top replied obediently, and Sand huffed a laugh.

 

After that, Sand was gone in the crowd, not bothering to spend any extra second with Top.

 

All their interactions boiled down to Sand's ironical hellos, shared with Top as an inside joke. Top liked the friendlier interactions, way better than the insults and threats, but sometimes he almost felt the need of holding Sand up and making him speak properly with him. Even more so when he saw the way Sand got along with everyone around him. He could make conversation feel effortless and make everyone feel safe enough to open up to him. They didn't have that, they weren't friends and Sand wasn't comforting to Top.

 

Still, sometimes, when Top was weaker, he thought about the kiss, right before replying his usual line.

 

Mew didn't comment on their interactions. Only once, when he caught Top smiling in Sand's direction, had he mentioned how well they were getting along recently. Top didn't usually find it hard to read Mew, but when it came to Sand, he would keep his blandest expression not to give anything away, all he knew was Mew had been sharply paying attention. 

 

Once or twice Top started it, approaching Sand as if speaking with an old friend. Sand would open a smile and roll his eyes, but he wouldn't give much more than the usual "Hello, Top". So it came as a surprise when this one time, Sand flopped onto his side.

 

They were at YOLO's. Top was sitting alone at a table. He had just received a message from Mew telling him he would be later than expected, since they had a problem at the hostel. He drummed his fingers at the table for a second, before deciding he would head out. He should go wait for Mew at the hostel, he could go pick him up or they could head home together. Before he actually got up, though, Sand was practically sprawled by his side.

 

Top felt himself raise one eyebrow, questioning. 

 

"Nick canceled with me." Sand explained. By his tone, Top could notice he was a little more than tipsy.

 

"So?"

 

"So I'm drinking with you." Sand said simply, reaching for the beer Top had been nursing for good part of the night and taking a sip.

 

"I thought we weren't friends?" Top asked, letting the amusement he felt slip into his tone.

 

"We're not. I'm just drinking with you." Sand already had one corner of lips turning up.

 

"I think we should be friends. Our boyfriends are friends, best friends even." 

 

"They are exes. It would be weird for me to befriend you." 

 

"They're friends now. I want to be your friend too." 

 

Sand was giving him a look, the same one he had the night they kissed; the same one he would give people he wanted to take home for the night; the same one he would give to Ray when they were too gone not to be on each other's face. It made Top realize they were actually flirting. Sand was leaning on him, drinking from the bottle Top had on his own lips several times, and Top realized he had been leaning into Sand as well.

 

Sand licked his lips, smile still in place on his face and Top's eyes followed the movement. He was into it. He was so into it. He could smell the smoke that by that point was already characteristic of him, mixed with his probably cheap cologne and plum. 

 

"Yeah?" Sand asked playful, and Top didn't really know what he had said before.

 

"Yeah." 

 

"Well, good friends pay each other drinks." Sand pointed out, leaning back and regaining their initial distance. Top vaguely noticed his slightly uncoordinated movements.

 

"You just drank my beer." Top said back, also leaning away.

 

He wasn't sure why he felt so disappointed by that. They couldn't do anything, really, not when Mew already forgave him once.

 

"It was gross. You warmed it with your sweaty hands."

 

"You drank all of it though." 

 

"I'm not refusing free beer."

 

"It wasn't for free, though. I have your friendship now, don't I?" Top joked and Sand snorted.

 

"Some really cheap friendship. Pay me something else?"

 

And Top would. He can't imagine a world he wouldn't pay Sand a drink, but his phone buzzed with a new message from Mew, asking Top to drive him home.

 

"Is he at the hostel?" Sand asked looking over his phone, and Top nodded. "Ray is there as well. Take me there?"

 

What about your bike, Top wanted to ask, but Sand was drunk, he could notice his slightly unfocused eyes and his clunky movements. Top knew for a fact Sand was against any drunk piloting, even if he isn't sure where exactly this knowledge came from. 

 

Sand must have noticed Top studying him, because he opened his smile again.

 

"What?" Sand asked.

 

"I'll take you." Top said back.

 

The way to the hostel was quiet, Sand looking at the window seemingly lost on his own thoughts. Top wondered if that was the result of all the alcohol Sand had consumed. Drunk Sand wasn't that different from regular Sand, but there were a few signs, slightly unfocused eyes, less precise movements, friendlier demeanor towards Top. 

 

Top spared Sand another glance, not able to contain the question that started bubbling inside his head.

 

"Do you still hate me?"

 

Sand turned to him, face neutral, unfazed by the question, "I don't hate you anymore. What about you?"

 

Top didn't notice he was holding his breath. He consciously started breathing again.

 

"I never hated you."

 

Sand looked a bit surprised by that, but didn't say anything back. A little later into their ride, Top noticed Sand had fallen asleep, face pressed against the glass. Top ignored the sudden fondness he felt seeing Sand like this. The words Sand had said earlier echoed in his mind. He didn't necessarily expect Sand to still hate him after their improvement, but he also didn't expect that to ever be knowledged between them; they still bantered and Sand still refused to consider him a friend, but Sand didn't hate him anymore.

 

Top gently shook Sand when they arrived, before sending a quick message to Mew, letting he know he was outside. Sand rubbed his eyes, checking his own phone before also texting Ray. They both got out of the car in silence, waiting for their boyfriends to arrive.

 

Ray was the first one to leave, tired smile placed on his face as he went to Sand's arms. They kissed slow and lazily, and Top couldn't help but stare. Ray's hands went to Sand's neck, while Sand's held Ray's waist tightly, bodies glued together. When Top's eyes went back to their faces, he was surprised to see Ray with his eyes open, staring back at Top while still kissing Sand. There was something in Ray's eyes that Top could only translate as mischief. Ray gave a low moan, eyes still watching Top.

 

Top turned his eyes to the door again, a little embarrassed of getting caught, and felt relieved as he saw Mew approaching him. Mew pressed a quick peck on his lips, not paying attention to the show going on by their side.

 

"Ready to go?" Top asked, and Mew nodded.

 

Top looked back at the couple only to see Sand giving him a pointedly look before licking into Ray's mouth one last time before they broke the kiss. Top felt his face warm up. 

 

When he turned to Mew again, he caught Mew staring at him. Mew bade them a quick goodbye before entering the car, followed by Top.

 

"Were you with Sand?" Mew asked not even waiting for Top to start the car. Top knew this tone meant he wasn't asking just to make conversation.

 

"I was waiting for you at YOLO's. He was there too." Top answered when they were far enough.

 

Mew didn't answer him, and Top went quiet too, nervous to even look at Mew. Mew didn't press any further until they got home.

 

After they both showered, Mew came to sit down with him on the couch, resting his head against Top's shoulder and looping his arms around Top's middle. He felt Mew's wet hair dripping on his shirt, but didn't mind it.

 

"Do you like Sand?" Mew asked quietly.

 

"I like you." Top answered, trying to keep his voice from trembling. "I love you."

 

"That's not what I asked." Mew said, then added, "Be honest."

 

Top pressed his lips in a thin line, not sure what to say. Mew rarely was that vulnerable with him anymore, and he felt even more guilty for all the ways he kept thinking about Sand. He wasn't sure why he was drawn to Sand, and it got way worse since Mew's challenge a few weeks ago.

 

Top let out a shaky breath, "I like him. But nothing is happening, I swear."

 

"I know."

 

"I'll stop whatever this is. I'm sorry, Mew. Just-"

 

"Shut up." Mew cut him, but the arms around Top tightened. It didn't help he couldn't see Mew's face.

 

"I'm yours, Mew. I'm serious, I-"

 

"Shut up, Top." Mew repeated firmly, letting go of Top altogether, and facing him.

 

Mew held his chin high, as always, but his eyes showed the conflicted feelings Top wasn't sure how to interpret. Top wanted to hug him back this time, squeeze Mew against him until Mew could be sure he was the only one, but Mew barely ever let Top hold him when there was something wrong between them. Top reached to hold one of his hands instead, and felt a little better when Mew didn't take it back.

 

"Keep going. Keep doing that to Sand." Mew finally said, and Top started shaking his head.

 

"I'll never do that to you again." Top started, then begged, "I'll stop talking to him. Please, Mew."

 

"I mean it, Top." Mew insisted, eyes trailing down to his own hand trapped between Top's. "You can try it, if he wants."

 

Top kept his mouth shut, not sure what go answer. As Mew realized Top wouldn't add anything, he kept going, "But I'll have to be present when you do it. Don't go behind my back."

 

Top furrowed his eyebrows, defensive and confused. He shook his head lightly, still not getting what Mew was saying. He had the impression he understood the proposition very well, but he knew Mew. Mew had always wanted what both his moms had, that's why Top hurt him so much from the beginning. Even now, that Mew finally forgave him, he knew Mew felt disappointed their story would forever include that. Mew also frowned upon people who sought different lifestyles than his own (as it was the case of Top's life before Mew), so Top could only be understanding something completely different than what Mew was actually saying.

 

"I don't want to lose you, Mew..." He repeated, needing Mew to understand that, and Mew shook his head, but his eyes softened.

 

"That's not what I'm saying. I..." Mew licked his lips, hesitating and Top noticed a little astonished Mew had the faintest blush on his cheeks. Top squeezed his hand encouragingly. "I wouldn't mind watching you two." He said finally, and Top hard to breathe for a moment.

 

"You want us to have sex in front of you!?" Top asked incredulous.

 

"No, not that." Mew looked down, embarrassed, and Top felt guilty for making him feel like that. "Not just that."

 

"What, then?"

 

"Everything, I guess."

 

"As in..?"

 

"As in... watching you two kissing, but also seeing you bickering, or being nice with each other. You touching him..."

 

"Mew!" Top gasped, baffled. "I won't do that!"

 

Something shifted in Mew's eyes, he was suddenly angry, but also a little hurt. He yanked his hand from Top's grasp.

 

"You're a hypocrite, you know that? Are you only interested when you're cheating on me?"

 

"Mew," Top pleaded, not knowing what to say.

 

"Is it about the thrill of not getting caught?"

 

"I'm not doing that to you again. Please, believe me, Mew!" 

 

Mew looked at him with incredulity, and gave a bemused laugh. "Do you think I'm stupid? I see you looking at him, I know you want to."

 

Top didn't answer him, he didn't know how to. It was true Top wanted Sand, and — even if a part of him wanted to deny it — if there was ever the opportunity, he didn't know he would have it in himself to deny him, even if he loved Mew. Maybe he really was a hypocrite but... What Mew was asking of him felt so off from the life he planned for them. The life he was so sure Mew wanted with him. They were supposed to settle down, stay together, get married one day. So why would Mew throw it all away? 

 

The feeling of betrayal spread through him, not sure exactly why. He knew deep down it was his fault, and that Mew was right, but...

 

"Why would you even want that?" Top asked in a small voice. Mew took a deep breath, clearly tired.

 

"I don't know. We can talk about it another time, it's late." Mew said, getting up and leaving Top alone.

 

Top didn't really want to follow Mew, but he did, after a while, finding him asleep with his back turned to Top. When Top woke up the next morning, Mew had already left.

 

—

 

Mew gave him the silent treatment for the rest of the following weeks. They still had their basic interactions, but Mew made sure not to keep conversation with Top any longer than necessary. Top also noticed the avoidance on staying at the same place; if Mew could help it, he would call a lift so he wouldn't be at Top's car, he would arrive later than usual so Top would already be sleeping, he would cancel their lunch together so he wouldn't have to stay with Top for long.

 

When they were all together, Mew acted as his regular self to Top, talking, touching and even joking with him as he normally would. 

 

Top tried to confront him a few times, ask him about it or if he was okay, but Mew made sure to dodge every time.

 

Sand, on the other hand, was a presence hard to avoid these days. 

 

After that last talk with Mew, Top decided he would build back the distance they used to have, but Sand was everywhere flashing him with smiles and secret looks as if they shared an inside joke together (Top didn't feel like he was into the joke at all, but he couldn't avoid to feel warm any time Sand did that). He figured that after a few times barely answering Sand, he would quickly turn back to his hating-Top usual self, but his efforts seemed to go mostly ignored. 

 

Sand would greet him everywhere he saw him, exaggerating on his "hello, Top."s, almost making Top give in and smiling back. He always managed to hold it back and schooling his expressions, keeping in mind what Mew had said about watching him watching Sand.

 

"Are you avoiding me, Top?" Sand jokingly asked him, once, nudging him with his elbow when they were between Mew and Ray. Top couldn't avoid glancing at Mew, who was watching him carefully.

 

"Why would I ever do this, Sand?" Top said back, not being able to replicate the joking tone, but that seemed to satisfy Sand, who smiled at him. 

 

Later that week, Mew, Ray and Cheum organized another small party at the hostel, inviting along a few of their friends from college. The entire time, Mew didn't leave his side, always keeping him close or calling him to follow around. Top enjoyed these moments when he could hold Mew again and pretend Mew wasn't mad at him anymore, even if they were only for public display.

 

Sand and Ray were also all over each other any time Top's eyes would catch any of them, the most memorable one being when he caught them both entering a bathroom without ever breaking their kiss.

 

As always, Mew wasn't drinking too much, just nursing a few beers every now and then before dropping them somewhere, but he didn't seem to mind Top's unusual drinking fit. Top noticed he started getting drunk at some point, but didn't feel like stopping any time soon. A few times, Mew warned him to go easy on the drinks, which Top would agree, but soon reach up for another cup.

 

Top didn't get drunk easily, that's why he even started on heavier stuff to begin with, but he felt the alcohol working on him that night. He clinged to Mew a little more than he would, and Mew let him.

 

"Will you ever forgive me?" Top asked in Mew's ear through the loud music before he could properly plan it out.

 

"I already forgave you, Top." Mew answered, bringing Top's head to rest between his neck and shoulder, petting Top's hair. Top didn't know how long they stayed like this, but Mew's hand kept soothing him in a way he didn't know he deserved.

 

"Aw, you big baby!" Cheum said, laughing. "Mew, can you help me get rid of everyone?"

 

Mew agreed, and started gently getting Top to one of the sofas from the center. When Top noticed Sand and Ray sitting in there, he tried to protest to Mew, but he gave him a light squeeze on his shoulder and reassured, "I'll be right back.", before turning to Sand and asking "Can you take care of him?"

 

Sand looped an arm around Top's shoulders and gave a light squeeze, "What are friends for, right?"

 

Mew nodded to Sand, "Ray, come help us out."

 

"Do I have to?" Ray jokingly complained, but was already up by Mew's side. "Don't have too much fun." He called after Sand, winking on the way out.

 

Top was alone with Sand for the first time since the night Mew confronted him, he also hadn't seen this face from up close since then. It almost made him blush (or maybe he was blushing from the alcohol, he didn't really know), studying the features that came up in his mind so often. 

 

Sand was looking at him with clear amusement on his face, arm still around his shoulder, as they both reclined on the sofa. 

 

"I think you had one too many today." Sand said.

 

"I probably did." He agreed.

 

Top hesitated a little before laying his head into Sand's shoulder, trying to replicate the comfort the previous position with Mew brought him, but once he did, he felt the need to also close his eyes. Sand was quick to bring his hand to Top's hair.

 

"I don't think I ever saw you like that. I feel like I could finally beat your ass right now." Sand provoked, and Top laughed.

 

"Even if I'm like this, you couldn't land a hit."

 

"Oh, yeah?" Sand snorted. "You're all snuggled on me, I bet you can't even stand up without falling."

 

"Mhmm... I'm just resting a little..."

 

"You're definitely not gonna last enough for the after-party.” Sand said pulling his hair a little bit, Top groaned in response and opened his eyes. "Won't we even get the chance of making out again?”

 

The heat from his face became even warmer, and he knew this time it wasn't because of the alcohol. Top frowned and pulled away from Sand, seeking his eyes. Sand had a smug look on his face, as if trying to hold back his laugh. Excitement bloomed into Top's chest, and he forgot for a moment he, in fact, should not take the bait.

 

“I thought I sucked at kissing?” He slurs, anyways, futilely still a little hurt from the words Sand said that night. 

 

Sand pulls on his hair again, and somehow Top had also forgotten he still hadn't let go of it.

 

“Well, there's always room for improvement.” 

 

“If the kiss wasn't good, it was your fault” He tried again, unsure if the words were actually making sense.

 

“Maybe we could try again, see if we got any better.” Sand replies, cheeky grin still placed on his face, fingers still lazily pulling on his hair. Top shivered, and hoped Sand couldn't notice anything.

 

“I have a boyfriend…” Top said weakly, suddenly unable to take his eyes off of Sand's lips.

 

Sand snorted again, amused, “That never stopped you before.” 

 

The phrase shook Top, and he quickly turned his eyes back to Sand’s. He leaned back, shaking his head so Sand would take his hand off of him. Sand let go, stopping smiling for the first time since he was on that sofa. He didn’t know if the words were meant to be mean, but they were true, and he felt anxious having them rubbed against his face.

 

He felt the need to search for Mew, so he muttered something to Sand about that, and got up. He vaguely noticed the party was significantly more empty, with the few people left behind gathering their belongings. Looking around, he couldn't find Mew, but suddenly Sand was by his side again, hand going to his arm.

 

“Hey, what's wrong?” Sand asked in a worried tone.

 

“I need Mew.” Top said, still looking around.

 

“He'll be right back. Here, drink this.” Sand pushed a water bottle against his lips, which Top accepted. “You wanna come with me? We can just chill.”

 

Top looked around again trying with no success to find Mew, but let Sand's hand guide him to sit somewhere outside. Sand instructed him to drink more water, before sitting by his side.

 

“See? We don't have to do anything. Just two bros hanging out.” Sand joked and Top turned to watch his face. “Drink your water.”

 

By the time Mew was back, along with Ray and Cheum, Top's mind didn't feel as cloudy as a few minutes ago. Sand was smoking by his side, while he bickered his second water bottle in silence. Top replayed a few times what had happened moments ago, Sand's offer to make out, the open talk about kissing again, and then, Sand's mocking remark about Top's history. He felt ashamed, mostly, about having it so bluntly mentioned. Top also thought about what he almost did, and felt like once again he had betrayed Mew's trust.

 

“We still have enough beers to keep going, is everyone up for that?” Cheum asked cheerfully, and April made a disagreement noise.

 

Mew and Ray arrived right after, taking the seat on an armchair opposite to Top and Sand, both nesting up like Top had seen several times now. Top kept staring at them, and they stared back; Mew a neutral face, glancing between Top and Sand, but not giving anything away, and Ray gave Top a knowing look that he was too afraid to interpret properly. Top drank up again.

 

“Maybe we should try spin the bottle again? I’m sure we can have some fun.” Ray suggested.

 

“I don’t think today is a good idea. Some of us are tired.” Sand said, putting out his cigarette on the ashtray on the table. Sand didn’t mention nor gestured towards him, but Top felt like that was meant for him, anyways.

 

“I can play.” Top said, stubbornly, and saw from the corner of his eyes Sand shaking his head in disagreement.

 

“Sand is right. We should head out soon anyways, it’s pretty late.” Mew agreed.

 

“You guys are no fun.” Cheum said, booing them.

 

April and Cheum were the first to leave, saying their goodbyes and — in Cheum’s case — complaining along the way, April guiding her wasted girlfriend to her car. Even if the four of them had been talking about leaving, they stayed for longer than expected, Sand and Ray keeping conversation about how the night went, and Mew and Top occasionally contributed. 

 

Ray had his arms around Mew’s waist, and one cheek resting against Mew's shoulder, while Mew reclined into the touch. None of the four of them seemed to mind it, for Top, it felt almost natural to have Ray tangled in his boyfriend, he had seen it many times before, even after they started dating. Sand and Top kept their distance as it was, each one occupying a corner of the sofa, not talking directly to each other. Mew looked curious about that for a while, but didn't mention anything.

 

Top still felt a little embarrassed about both what he was about to do in that moment and how he reacted after, and he didn't really want to think what Sand had in mind about the whole thing.

 

“So… Are you two back to not talking, then?” Ray asked, gesturing towards them. Top’s eyes searched for Mew's, and Mew was already looking at him, expectant.

 

“We had a disagreement back there, but we're fine now.” Sand answered easily.

 

“Did you argue?” Mew asked this time.

 

“I was a bit of an asshole to him, as usual, right?” Sand replied again, and Top frowned and looked at him. Sand wasn't speaking about what actually happened, maybe because he felt guilty for trying to cheat on his own boyfriend.

 

“It’s a shame, hm? I thought Mew and I would have to pull you two apart again.” Ray said, rubbing his cheek against Mew. He heard Sand snorting by his side.

 

“I love Mew.” Top said defensively, they all laughed this time, even Mew.

 

“I never said you didn't.” Ray said playful, and whispered something into Mew’s ear. Mew kept eye contact to Top, then nodded and turned to Ray.

 

Mew started getting closer to Ray until their lips touched, quickly, just a peck, but Top couldn't stop himself from gasping and exclaiming, “Mew!”.

 

Top had a weird feeling towards Ray the past few months. They weren't friends, they weren't colleagues, but he was always there. He was Mew’s best friend since Top actually met Mew, even if they had that weird dating period between them. 

 

Ray was also a really tactile person, always glued together to someone, usually Sand or Mew (and, on a few occasions, Cheum). For some reason, it didn't bother Top; he didn't quite know if it was because he didn't see Ray as a threat to their relationship or if he just trusted Mew enough, or, maybe, if he just thought their friendship worked that way, but he never felt any pang of jealousy. With Top, Ray wasn't like that, limiting their interactions to trade of words, which Top attributed to their past animosity.

 

Seeing Mew kiss another man right in front of him should hurt more than it actually did, but for some reason it just made his heart beat faster. That was Ray, after all, that's how they've always been.

 

Mew went back to watch him as soon as the kiss was over, not offering an explanation. He had an expectant look on his face, as if waiting for Top to do something, anything, but Top couldn't. Belatedly, Top turned his eyes to Sand, to check his own reaction to having his own boyfriend kissing another person in front of him, but Sand kept his eyes fixed in Ray's, giving a look Top could only describe as wanting.

 

“Your turn?” Ray prompted Sand, expectantly. Sand snorted in return.

 

“I can't. He's not into that.” 

 

Mew raised both eyebrows in mocking surprise, “Aren't you?”.

 

“I only want you, Mew.” Top answered and Mew laughed, shaking his head almost fondly.

 

“I think it's enough for today.” Mew said, getting up finally, prompting everyone to get up as well. “C'mon, I'll drive us.”

 

Top and Mew went straight to Top’s car after they said their goodbyes, with Mew making sure of hugging them both (Top tried not to stare too much while Sand embraced Mew). For Top, there was a quick wave, but Sand directed at him a “Goodbye, Top”, which was promptedly answered with a “Goodbye, Sand”. That made him receive one of Sand's striking smiles, so he wasn't complaining. 

 

Mew took the driver's seat for the night since Top was still most definitely drunk, even if he felt a lot better by that point. Top felt incredibly tired after that night, he wasn't sure if it was because of the drinks or the situation in general.

 

During the ride, Mew kept silent and Top was worried he would go back for ignoring him when they were alone, but once they were home, Mew was acting like regular Mew, sending him to shower and preparing something for them to eat. 

 

“Are you with Ray?” Top asked as soon as he sat down, unsure if he should even ask about it.

 

“No. That was the first time I kissed him after we broke up.” Mew answered and Top frowned in confusion. “But we've talked about you and Sand a few times.”

 

“Mew!” Top gasped.

 

“It’s not a test, Top. You can have him.” 

 

“So you can have Ray?” Top accused harshly, and Mew laughed humorlessly and shook his head with incredulity.

 

“I'm doing that for you! Because you keep wanting other men!” Mew raised his voice, and Top felt his heart sink. He didn't know if he could argue, he did want Sand, but not over Mew, never over Mew.

 

“I can do better for you.” 

 

“I know you can. But you don't need to keep restraining yourself since we're discussing it right now. What do you want?”

 

Sand’s smile came to him almost immediately, from all the times they would joke together, or the times Sand would make fun of him. Top felt like Sand’s lips were forever burned in his mind, and in a way he would always chase after it. But doing that, actually doing that, even with Mew’s blessing gave him the feeling he was failing. He was failing with Mew, with the future they envisioned together.

 

“Don't say you want me. You're not losing me.” Mew added somewhat tiredly, and Top thinned his lips, considering what to say.

 

“What would it even be like?” Top asked after a beat of silence. Mew’s eyes got bigger, as if surprised Top would even ask that.

 

“It’s up for us to decide, but I guess we could just do anything among the four of us.” Mew said, seemingly searching for words.

 

“So you and Ray..?” Top prompted.

 

“Yes, the same as you and Sand.” 

 

Top considered again, clenching and unclenching his fists nervously, “What if we fall apart..?”

 

“I love you, Top. And you love me. That's all we need “

 

They didn't comment anymore of their agreement before eating in silence and finally going to bed.

 

—

 

They talked more about this on the following days, a lot more. They agreed on not saying or trying anything to Sand and Ray just yet, while they still adjusted on the possibilities. Top asked Mew questions, and Mew answered as well as he could, and Top felt the idea fitting better into his mind.

 

“Do you resent me for having to do all that?" Top asked once before leaving for work

 

“I'm doing that because I want to.” Mew answered not going into details, but Top felt like it was enough.

 

Top told himself he wasn't really avoiding Sand and Ray this time. He tended to not go to the same places he knew they would be attending, and generally didn't stay too long whenever they were around, but he spoke to them in what he hoped to be a normal way. Sand didn't press into it, still acting as if Top was a friend, and Top understood he was giving him space because of how their interaction went that night. Ray, on the other hand, acted as if they now shared a secret. Whenever Ray saw him, he would loudly call Top's attention, grinning to him like he didn't hate Top just a few months ago.

 

Mew was generally speaking positive, but Top could notice he'd been a little anxious himself about the whole thing. Top couldn't avoid hating himself a little bit too.

 

It was on one of their weekly hang outs at YOLO's (one Top had been postponing for a while now) that Top finally decided it was actually okay if something happened. Mew and Ray sat on opposite ends, sandwiching Top and Sand between them.

 

“You came! We've been without you for what? A month now?” Sand greeted him easily.

 

“I've been busy.” Top offered back lamely.

 

“I'm sure you haven't been avoiding us, then?” Ray asked with a sly smile on his lips, and Top gave a small smile in response.

 

Top wasn't drinking for the night, joining Ray on the non alcoholic drinks. As much as Top had been anxious about this moment, it just never seemed as the right time to start anything. Sand had been treating him as a friend since that night at the hostel, strictly platonic even, as if he had completely eliminated the mere possibility of flirting with Top from his head.

 

So that was up to Top to start something, which should be fine since Top never found it difficult to lure someone he was interested in. Except Mew’s presence by his side made it almost impossible for him to actually have the courage to act on it. Whenever he would say something to Sand, he saw Mew paying sharp attention to them from the corner of his vision.

 

“I need to smoke.” Sand told him. “Make me company?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” Top agreed, not before receiving a nod of approval from Mew.

 

Once they were outside and Sand had a lit cigarette placed between his fingers, Top decided to try.

 

“So, about that last party…” Top started, but Sand made a hissing sound, taking the base of his hand to his own forehead and cursing to himself.

 

“I'm sorry about that, by the way.” Sand cut him, apologizing. “You were drunk… Fuck— I'm not doing that again, don't worry.”

 

“That didn't bother me, we could keep going.” Top answered quickly, and Sand snorted.

 

“You ran from me! Even established you have a boyfriend, c'mon!” 

 

“No, I mean—” 

 

“You're addicted to lying.” Sand accused with a smile on his face. Top frowned, feeling a little offended.

 

“I wanted to talk to you about it anyways.”

 

“What about it?” Sand asked, taking a drag.

 

“I talked to Mew…” Top started, strangely nervous.

 

“Okay…” Sand encouraged.

 

“He said it was okay if you and I actually had something.” Top watched Sand raise his eyebrows in surprise. “So if you still wanted, we could keep going.”

 

Sand looked at him with curiosity, but also interest. Top didn't know for sure why he would be curious, exactly. As far as Top knew, at least Mew and Ray agreed behind his back that it would be fine for him and Sand to have an affair (he didn't think that was the right wording, but it was hard not to see it like that). Maybe Sand was curious as to why Top didn't get this kind of approval sooner, which he had, but wasn't able to consider accepting at that moment. 

 

Top chose to focus on the interested aspect of Sand's expression, which was so much better and made Top's instinct act up. He studied Sand again, taking in the man he'd been wanting this whole time, and Sand grinned when noticed he was being watched.

 

“So you've been wanting me?” Sand joked, clearly happy with himself. He took another drag before throwing the filter on the ground and stepping on if.

 

“For longer than I've noticed it.” Top admitted and Sand looked delighted to know.

 

“Since the kiss?” 

 

“I think since before.”

 

"When I still hated you?” Sand asked, confused. “Did you think it was hot? When I would tell you to fuck off?” They both laughed.

 

“Yes, it was one of my wet dreams.” Top joked back and Sand raised one eyebrow, as if accepting a challenge.

 

“I can help you with this one. Here.” Sand said, cradling Top by the base of his skull with one hand and bringing Top's head closer. Sand tilted his own head so his lips were brushing against Top's ear. “Fuck off.” He whispered.

 

As much as it was a joke, Top felt chills on his skin. He laughed anyways.

 

“So, did you enjoy that?” Sand asked, getting more space between them, but not letting go of his head.

 

“Yeah, handsome singers being mean to me always get me going.” 

 

“So you think I'm handsome?”

 

“As if you don't know.” Top said, rolling his eyes, but laughing.

 

Their faces were again close together and Top could feel Sand's breath hitting against his face, the smell of smoke even stronger now.

 

“I’m gonna kiss you now. Don't freak out.” Sand warned, before getting closer and closer until their lips finally touched.

 

The kiss was almost completely different from the first one they shared months ago. Sand was hesitant at first — as if giving space to Top to pull away if he wanted to — before he felt Top pressing back and he started finally moving. Sand licked into his mouth and Top couldn't stop himself from appreciating the taste of smoke that invaded his palate. Like the other kiss, Sand set the rhythm for Top to follow, this time going for a slower pace, but still firm. The hand Sand had on the back of his head started pulling on his hair, and Top wondered if Sand knew he liked it from the last time he did it; Top controlled himself not to give himself in so fast. Top's hands came to Sand's waist and he felt Sand smiling on the kiss, bringing his own other hand to join the first one, pulling his hair even firmer. Top let out a muffled groan this time.

 

Top's hazy mind vaguely compared kissing Sand to a smoker finally taking a drag after a long time without it, like he was filling his lungs with what he knew would finally soothe his system.

 

Sand was the one to break the kiss, using the moment to glue their foreheads together. Top opened his eyes, not sure when he closed them exactly, to find Sand with his own closed and smiling.

 

“Was it good?” Top asked, weirdly unsure, and Sand laughed, opening his eyes, but keeping their position.

 

“Do you need the validation?” Sand asked, toying with his hair.

 

“You did say I was a bad kisser.”

 

“Yeah, that didn't change.” Sand joked.

 

“Shut up.” Top pushed him away, giving a small smile.

 

“Oh? So you don't like handsome singers being mean to you anymore?” 

 

“Only occasionally.”

 

Sand leaned to claim Top's lips again, and Top felt himself leaning into it.

 

“I can be good to you as well.” Sand pointed when they broke apart. “Let's go back.” 

 

Top felt nervous heading back, not sure how Mew would feel about it. He gave him permission, yes, but maybe the theory was different from the real situation.

 

Re-entering the bar, he found Mew still talking to Ray, somewhat a lot more relaxed than Top expected him to be. When Mew and Ray saw them coming closer, Mew became a little expectant, but also started studying Top, and then Sand. Ray gave them one of his smirks, raising both eyebrows, also expecting them to start telling about their moment just before. Sand sat by Ray's side, and Top by Mew's, no longer being together in the middle.

 

“So…? How was it?” Ray asked, barely containing himself, eyes trailing between the two of them.

 

“I went for a smoke, now we're back. What about it?” Sand said, clearly amused by Ray's frustration.

 

“But what else?” Ray insisted, pouting.

 

“The night air was a bit chilly.” Sand answered again, threatening to let the smile he was holding back appear on his face.

 

“Sand! That's not fair!”

 

“Did you have fun?” Mew asked, whispering in Top's ear while the other two were enjoying themselves bantering.

 

“We kissed, Mew.” Top whispered back, trying to take notes on how Mew reacted. 

 

“Did you like it?” Mew asked again, still keeping his voice low, but this time looking at Top with an expression Top didn't know how to decipher.

 

“I did. I wish you saw it.” Top answered, finally identifying something in Mew's expression. 

 

Top leaned in and kissed Mew, cradling his face with one hand. Mew satisfyingly went along, kissing him back gently.

 

When Mew pulled away, he kept facing Top for a few seconds and Top used the opportunity to place a kiss on Mew’s cheek, extracting a small smile from Mew.

 

“How do you feel?” Top asked, a little worried, and Mew shook his head, turning his attention away from him.

 

“I wish I saw it too.” Mew said for everyone to hear now, eyes locking into Sand's.

 

“We can do it again, anytime you want.” Sand offered, smiling back.

 

“So when I ask you to see..!” Ray said with indignation.

 

“See what? We didn't do anything?” Sand said feigning innocence to Ray, and Mew laughed, shaking his head fondly. (Seeing Mew like that always reminded Top he loved Mew.)

 

During the rest of the night, Top could notice Mew getting more relaxed, laughing along and talking more openly, and it felt like part of the weight Top had been carrying onto his shoulder started to finally get lifted. Sand and Ray kept jokingly bantering, and soon they were making out about it by their side, which prompted Top to ask if Mew wanted to wrap up for the night.

 

“What? Already?” Ray said, trying to make himself cute.

 

“It’s late, and you two have more important things to do than hanging out with us.” Mew said, smiling knowingly at them.

 

“We can keep going at my house. I promise to give you guys attention.” Ray offered, looking between the two of them. 

 

Top felt speechless, looking at Mew for any kind of reaction, but Mew had his lips slightly opened in surprise, also not answering.

 

“Ray!” Sand called out, tugging on his arm. 

 

“I mean! If they want to!” Ray justified himself, shrugging.

 

Mew turned to Top, not really decided on what to do. He had this (expectant? pleading?) look in his eyes Top would so rarely see. Top didn't quite know how to interpret that without clear words on that situation. Maybe Mew was asking him to accept and go experiment with them, but maybe he was asking him not to go at all, not to cross this bridge, not to twist even more their relationship. Top distractedly noticed Sand and Ray were talking to each other — bantering again —, but he didn't pay it any mind. He swallowed, looking at Mew.

 

“What do you think?” Mew asked him, which Top thought was unfair for him to do. Sand and Ray stopped, paying attention to his answer.

 

“Whatever you want is fine, Mew.” Top said, searching for anything in Mew that would give him a hint. Mew looked away from him in frustration, turning his eyes to him after a few seconds.

 

“Yeah, let's go.” Mew nodded, and Top could see from the corner of his eyes Ray’s giddy expression.

 

“You're sure?” Top checked, nervous.

 

“Nothing needs to happen.” Mew reassured, turning back to Ray, that wrapped his arms around Mew's neck, hugging him firmly.

 

“It's going to be fun, I swear.” Ray said and Mew looped his own arms around Ray, loosely.

 

While he paid the tab and everyone prepared to leave, he saw Sand observing him and saying something to Mew, who shook his head and smiled before answering. Top tried not to focus too much into it.

 

As Top followed Ray's car, he kept glancing at Mew, who kept his eyes placed on the window. Top pressed his own lips together, not sure what to say. He felt curiosity on how it would go, but also didn't want for any of that to hurt Mew.

 

“We can give up.” He tried. Mew turned to him, a little surprised.

 

“You want that?” Mew asked.

 

“No, just… It's a big step, Mew. Maybe we're not ready.”

 

“Are you saying that because of me?” Mew asked and Top fell silent for a few seconds. “I wanna try it. Stop worrying.” 

 

When they arrived, Mew guided him through the house while Sand and Ray went to prepare something else. Mew moved around the place like he was the owner; Top knew Mew had spent countless nights at Ray’s, so it was natural for him to have such familiarity. Top wanted to comment on it, but let it go, quietly following Mew. Mew brought him to a room in the back that looked a lot like a living room, but not the main one he had seen entering the house.

 

“Are you nervous?” Top asked, following Mew to sit on one of the couches. Mew huffed a laugh and brought his hand to cradle Top’s face, bringing his own face closer to Top’s.

 

“Stop asking me that.” Mew answered into Top’s lips, before kissing him.

 

Top went along with the kiss immediately, using his hands to pull on Mew’s waist, dragging him closer. He felt he was always in need of the comfort only Mew could bring him.

 

“You couldn’t even wait?” Sand joked, entering the room, followed by Ray.

 

Mew broke the kiss, smiling at Sand, but Top could see he was a bit shy by the situation. Ray came right after, looping his arms around Mew’s neck from behind the couch, pressing a kiss on his cheek, right in front of Top. Mew held Ray's head gently, squeezing against himself.

 

“Told you we were giving you attention.” Ray said, pinching Mew’s cheek. “Come?” Ray invited, sitting on the carpet, being followed by Sand, Mew, and then Top, forming a small circle.

 

For a few seconds none of them spoke, they just kept looking at each other. Somehow, Top felt like he was the most nervous one among them. He wasn't inexperienced, very far from that. In fact, he was confident he was the one in the room with the higher body count in the room. Still, it was almost funny how Top had never even considered doing something like that. When Boeing came back to try and ruin his already fragile relationship with Mew, he tried to offer this to them — to Mew. Top remembers getting confused for how Mew hadn't been scandalized by the suggestion, and even looked tempted in some aspects, even if he ultimately denied. 

 

Top mused to himself if maybe that was something Mew was curious about.

 

Top didn't have much to speculate about Sand and Ray, but he could almost be sure that's something they've done before. He wondered if they both had done it with Boeing from the time he came after them. 

 

“Now what?” Mew asked in a mix of nervousness and excitement.

 

“Whatever we wanna do.” Ray answered simply, with glee in his eyes.

 

Ray leaned into Mew’s space, capturing his lips, and Mew went along with it. Top noticed how familiar the act seemed to Mew, and it once again made Top realize, as he watched almost in awe, he didn't mind seeing Mew with Ray.

 

“I don't want us to go all the way.” Mew said, once they broke apart, catching their attention. Somehow, Top felt relief, not sure he could handle actual sex just now.

 

“We don't need to. We can just enjoy ourselves.” Ray answered, smiling, giving Mew another peck on his lips. “Just above the waist?” Ray asked and Mew nodded.

 

“Maybe we could see that kiss now?” Mew suggested after a beat of silence, turning his face to Sand. Top felt his eyes wander from Mew to Sand. Sand nodded in agreement, smiling.

 

“Come here.” Sand said to Top, patting between his own legs, too much like a challenge.

 

Excitement ran through Top's spine as he complied. The previous times they kissed, or almost kissed, it had been Sand to get closer to him, hypnotizing him in his own way. He wanted to try and replicate that, to act as smoothly as Sand had that first time, but as soon as he actually started going to him, he just couldn't be like that. He went to Sand in a clunky way, making Sand chuckle softly about his performance, and Top felt it was also fine.

 

Top stopped right in front of Sand, their first kiss still playing in his mind, so he pressed a hand against Sand's chest, pushing him as he remembered Sand doing. Sand let him, supporting himself on his forearms. He awkwardly positioned himself on his knees between Sand's open legs, before pulling Sand by his shirt and sealing their lips together.

 

Sand was smiling on his lips, and that felt a little distracting, but he felt like he had to stay in control this time around. Again, Sand let him, as if indulging Top on whatever he planned to do. Too licked his mouth and Sand promptedly opened his lips to let Top deepen the kiss. 

 

Vaguely, he heard giggling coming from behind him, but he ignored it, wanting nothing more than to keep tasting the cheap beer and smoke.

 

“You're letting him have it too easy, Sand.” Ray mocked, and Sand laughed into his mouth.

 

The words changed something in Sand, who suddenly started pushing against him, sitting up straight without breaking the kiss. His hands went for Top's thighs, pulling them apart so Top's knees were now around Sand, moving Top so he was now sitting on his lap. Top tried to pull away to form some sort of protest, but Sand chased his lips again, one hand going up to his hip, pulling firmly, and the other unceremoniously tugging his hair, ripping a moan from Top. 

 

“Shit.” Top heard Mew swearing a little breathless, in what he knew to be his turned on tone.

 

Top felt the urge to see Mew, to see what he was doing. Maybe he had been with Ray the whole time Top had been with Sand, and Top didn't know exactly the reason, but he wanted to watch this. He brought his hands to Sand's shoulders, pushing him away and looked in Mew's direction, only to find Mew and Ray doing nothing but paying sharp attention to them. Ray was sitting on Mew’s side, head placed on Mew’s shoulder, but all they were doing was watching. Top felt himself blushing, and hoped that wouldn't be visible to the others.

 

Knowing Mew was starting to get on that state just from seeing him getting kissed made Top feel himself getting aroused. He self consciously bucked his hips away from Sand's, not wanting them to see him like this that fast.

 

Sand started slowly trailing kisses from his neck to his ear, licking and biting his earlobe and whispering, “Shy?”. Top gasped.

 

“Are you okay, baby?” Mew asked Top while still maintaining eye contact with him, not an ounce of actual worry in his voice. He could see the hint of a smile on his lips, Mew was teasing him. Top nodded anyway.

 

Sand used the opportunity to bring both his hands to the bottom of his shirt to remove it, playfully throwing it to Mew. Top also went for Sand's shirt, but Sand stopped him.

 

“Let me enjoy this first.” Sand said to him, running one hand through his abdomen and chest, squeezing one of his pecs firmly.

 

“That's not very fair.” Top protested, but complied.

 

“I always forget he looks like this.” Ray commented, seemingly stunned. He heard Mew humming in agreement.

 

“Like what you see?” Top asked, a little breathless, but smug, turning to Ray, who rolled his eyes smiling.

 

“Don’t get too cocky.” Sand snorted, pinching one of his nipples and Top let out a moan. “Is he always this loud, Mew?”

 

“Always the best sounds, isn't it, Top?” Mew provoked, amusement with a drop of maliciousness.

 

I love the sounds you make during sex.

 

“Mew!” Top called, shocked and frustrated. He wanted to say something more, ask him not to say that, ask for his forgiveness again…

 

Mew got closer to them, taking one hand to Top's face gently, “Sorry, I won't bring that up again.” Mew leaned to kiss Top’s lips.

 

Sand brought his mouth again to his neck, enjoying Top being busy to suck and bite the skin. Sand brought one hand to his ass, squeezing it over his jeans. Top didn't think he was particularly noisy during sex, but at that moment he couldn't avoid groaning into Mew's mouth. 

 

At this point, Top was sure Sand — and probably everyone else in the room — knew about his erection. Sand kept bringing Top's hips close to his, kept giving him friction, even if accidentally. Top controlled himself not to chase it even more.

 

Mew pulled away, and Top watched him going back to Ray, sitting between his legs and reclining back, resting the back of his head against Ray's shoulder. Ray wrapped his hands around Mew's torso without thinking too much about it, eyes still fixed on everything Sand was doing.

 

Sand moved to bite one of his pecs, then moving down to his nipple, taking his time from licking, to sucking and then biting softly. Top surprised himself with his reactions, moaning louder than he knew he should. As much as he was experienced in sex, people would very rarely go for any foreplay with him, even less if that meant he would be the one receiving it, so it was almost a completely new feeling for him. Mostly, Top also realized a little shocked, he wanted to be noisy for them, wanted them to hear him. Sand went for the other nipple, repeating the motion until Top became a moaning mess. Top grabbed Sand's shirt firmly with both hands as if to give him some kind of leverage.

 

“I hate how hot you are.” Sand said, planting small kisses across his chest.

 

Laughing a little breathless, Top reached again for Sand's shirt. This time, Sand went along, letting Top take it off and throw it wherever.

 

Top had seen Sand shirtless on only one occasion before, when Ray, Mew and Cheum had promoted a pool party, but they weren't exactly on speaking terms back there, so Top tried not to stare. Having the view, now, from up close made him want to eat Sand whole. Top couldn't avoid trailing with his hands the new expanse of skin, squeezing his thin waist and running the other hand through Sand's chest.

 

“Scratch him, he likes that.” Ray suggested, in an also altered tone of voice from his own arousal.

 

“You're not participating here.” Sand said jokingly fo Ray, who chuckled back.

 

Top claimed his lips again, both to try to have some control back and because he felt he was addicted to his lips. He brought his nails to Sand's chest, grazing it lightly, and could get a groan from Sand for the first time. He did it again, deeper, on his back this time. 

 

“Fuck.” Sand swore, bringing both hands to Top's hips, slowly bringing him down, creating friction. Top couldn't help but to take over, humping on Sand faster.

 

Both of them were breathing heavily, moaning whenever their clothed crotches would touch particularly right. Top held Sand firmly with his arms around his neck, one hand buried on Sand's hair, and the other one his shoulder. He had his nails biting into Sand's flesh, but he didn't seem to mind. Sand’s face was mushed against Top’s neck, enjoying the opportunity to suck and bite.

 

“I'm close.” Top said, voice small, feeling his legs start to tire, but not even considering stopping grinding on Sand.

 

“Yeah, me too.” Sand said, placing a kiss on his jaw.

 

That was enough for Top, who placed his head against Sand’s and came, moaning louder. He felt himself boneless over Sand, but before he could move, Sand was tightening his arms around Top's waist and coming as well. Top regretted not being able to see the expression Sand did when he reached his orgasm, but being squeezed against Sand during it also felt good.

 

Somehow, Sand still was strong enough to support Top’s weight on him, so Top let himself be held, unable to move himself to do much at the moment. He felt one of Sand's hands going to his hair, petting it lightly while Top recovered. He noticed vaguely Sand still seemed to have his energy intact.

 

“What did you guys think?” Sand asked, turning his attention to the other two.

 

Top turned to look at them as well, to find Mew panting slightly, still practically laying back on Ray, but palming his own erection over his pants. Ray held Mew with only one arm now, the other hand disappearing behind Mew’s back — probably also touching himself.

 

“Keep touching him, Sand.” Mew asked, keeping his eye contact with Top.

 

Sand chuckled and complied, manhandling Top so he would be sitting between his legs and back pressed against his chest, mirroring Mew's current position. Top didn't mind protesting, not when Sand's arms were around him, holding him tight. Top laughed seeing the way Mew reacted, his half-open lips, his brown eyes even darker, one hand holding Ray's arm around him while the other slowly went inside his pants. Top hummed at the view.

 

Sand was starting to move his hands as well, one going for the back of Top's knee to open his legs, making the wet patch on his jeans visible. Even if he wasn't really exposed, it felt exactly like that. Top felt embarrassed, but also felt the urge to laugh, seeing Mew’ s eyes widening. 

 

Sand planted a kiss on his neck, bringing his other hand to his abdomen, “Having fun?”, Sand asked in his ear.

 

“Yeah.” Top breathed out, still watching Mew.

 

Sand let go of his leg, pinning Top's legs open with his own, while he used his free hand to run along his torso until both were on his chest, squeezing them together.

 

“I think you have a fixation.” Top commented lazily, enjoying the way Mew’s hand sped up a little. Sand snorted.

 

“I can't help it, you have great tits.” Sand pinched both of his already abused nipples at the same time, sucking on his jaw. Top moaned, pain and pleasure alike.

 

Top fought the urge to close his eyes, not wanting to miss any of Mew's expressions. He could hear Ray moaning louder, probably reaching his own orgasm. Mew was also close, and all Top wanted in that moment was to make him come from the show Top and Sand were doing. Top brought his arms up, grabbing Sand's neck from behind. The position made himself feel more exposed, and Mew reacted by breathing out a low moan.

 

One of Sand's hands started coming down again, this time to massage his crotch, and involuntary Top tried to close his legs, letting a ragged moan out, feeling sensitive just yet, but Sand held it open.

 

“Let them see you.” Sand whispered, and Top felt himself blushing again, but nodded obediently.

 

Mew was the first to come. Mew wasn't noisy during sex in general, even when he orgasmed, but Top felt addicted to the faces he would make. Ray followed right after, contrasting with Mew the way he moaned like a porn star.

 

Sand ceased the movements with his hands, making Top sigh. He was already half-hard, but didn't think he could keep going just now. Sand held his chin and turned his head to kiss him on the lips again.

 

“Enough, you two.” Ray said smiling, but didn't move at all.

 

Top was the one to break the kiss, turning his attention to Ray. “I see you're still holding my boyfriend.”, Top teased and Ray laughed.

 

“He's not complaining.” Ray answered, kissing Mew's cheek.

 

Mew was pliant on Ray's arms, recovering just like Top had. They had that in common, whenever they had sex, they would need a few minutes to recover, different from Sand and Ray, who seemed ready to go again any time. Mew watched him, blissful expression on his face.

 

Top gathered himself, finally supporting his own weight. Sand kissed the side of his head before crawling his way to Ray, capturing his lips. Top watched Mew trapped between the kiss, paying attention to it. When they separated, Sand had a big smile on his lips.

 

“Did you like it?” Sand asked again, aiming at Ray.

 

“You know I did.” Ray answered, snuggling the side of his head against Mew, who had his eyes fixed on Sand, lips pressed together as if thinking about something.

 

“Can you kiss me?” Mew finally asked. 

 

Sand turned his attention to Mew, small smile playing on his lips. Sand brought his hand to cradle Mew’s face gently. Top felt his heart beat faster in expectation. Even if he didn't know for sure why, he now needed Sand and Mew to kiss, more than anything. 

 

Slowly, Sand placed his lips over Mew’s, chastely kissing him. Mew was the one to chase after Sand, bringing his own hand to hold Sand to deepen the kiss, licking into Sand’s mouth, and Sand went along with it, making the kiss more intense. Ray seemed hypnotized by the scene, even more than Top, watching closely half-opened lips breathing unevenly. Soon, Ray joined, giving small kisses along Mew’s neck and shoulder. Mew gasped into Sand’s lips, but Sand kept going.

 

It was Mew who pulled away, sinking a little more into Ray’s embrace, gasping for air. Mew opened his legs in what looked to be an invitation for Sand to come closer, which Sand accepted, kneeling between his legs. Top moved to them, feeling the need to get closer.

 

“Again.” Mew asked.

 

Sand complied, kissing him again, the same way Top had seen him do with Ray many times, the same way Sand had done with Top just a moment ago. Top absorbed the scene in front of him, knowing very well that this would haunt him for the rest of his life. His eyes slipped to Ray, and he noticed Ray had been watching him. 

 

Ray rested his chin against Mew’s shoulder, tightening again the grip around Mew’s torso, grinning to Top. Top didn’t know for sure if Ray was trying to make him jealous, not when they’ve been doing all that. And maybe he was reading too much into it, but Ray’s movement showed possessiveness, making him confused. He turned his eyes back to the kiss in front of him, just in time to see Sand sucking on Mew’s bottom lip, getting a gasp out of Mew. This time around, Sand was the one to break it, getting distant enough to admire Mew’s disheveled state. 

 

When Top’s attention went back to Ray, the other had his eyes back on Mew, nuzzling the side of Mew’s head. Mew gently tapped Ray's hands around him, signaling for Ray to let go, and Ray did, giving him space. 

 

“It was fun.” Mew said, laughing a little breathless.

 

“Told you.” Ray said, satisfied.

 

Ray went to Sand, devouring his lips in a messy kiss. Sand easily received Ray in his arms, kissing him back the same way. Top went to Mew to check on him, kissing his cheek first before looking into his eyes.

 

“I'm okay.” Mew answered before Top could ask. “Are you?” 

 

Top nodded, feeling some kind of relief, before asking, “Do you wanna go home?”

 

Ray separated from Sand, looking mildly alarmed.

 

“You can stay the night, I have a room ready.” Ray said, before battling his eyelashes. “Please?”

 

“It surprises me you're not offering your own bed.” Sand snorted, being the first one to get up, helping Ray up and being followed by Mew and Top.

 

“They wouldn't want to.” Ray said, pouting, holding one of Mew’s hands with both of his. “But we can, we all fit there.”

 

“That’s very tempting.” Mew joked. “But I think it's better to go home, we're disgusting.” Mew said, refusing politely, vaguely gesturing to his own wet pants.

 

“You can shower and borrow Sand's clothes.” Ray tried and Sand laughed again, but didn't comment. “Please, Mew!”

 

Mew considered, not answering for a second.

 

“I haven't even kissed your boyfriend yet!” Ray pleaded with big eyes, and Mew’s expression sharpened.

 

Top, who had been passively waiting for Mew to decide, turned his eyes to Ray, surprised by the mention. Top had been under the impression that he and Ray wouldn't really have anything, even with their arrangement. He figured Ray and Sand just enjoyed doing that. He knew Sand had shown interest in him before, just like Top was interested in Sand, but Top was sure Ray was specifically interested in Mew, which was fine, Mew didn't seem to mind his attention and Top didn't mind seeing them together. Ray was pretty, delicate in a way even Mew wasn't, but Top never considered having something with. Ray also had that period of time hating Top when they first met, that Top considered to be enough for him not to want Top.

 

Ray didn't look in his direction, eyes still pleading in Mew's direction. 

 

“Fine, we're staying.” Mew said, huffing a laugh and sending a glance fo Top's direction.

 

Ray threw himself into Mew’s arms, arms looping around Mew's neck and dragging him down to him. Ray's eyes searched for Top’s for a second, before closing them and enjoying the hug.

 

They stayed, Mew deciding it would be a better alternative then to take the road again so late. Mew and Ray were the first ones to disappear to shower and to prepare to sleep, leaving Top and Sand waiting for a while. 

 

Sand had sat down outside to smoke, being followed again by Top, who sat down by his side, within a distance that Sand didn't comment.

 

“Do you guys always do that?” Top decided to ask, curious on their natural behavior.

 

“We did it a few times. Random people from YOLO’s, mostly.” Sand answered simply, turning his eyes to Top. “We don't usually all come in our pants though.” He said and Top snorted.

 

“I think Mew has been curious about it, since…” 

 

Since Boeing. The words died in Top's mouth, not wanting to remind Sand to hate him right now. Sand seemed to understand even so, but only huffed a laugh, exhaling the smoke along it, shaking his head.

 

“He tried that with us, too. Ray would've gone along for me, if I wanted to, but it didn't feel right.”

 

“I don't know if I could go along if Mew wanted that with Boe.” Top almost whispered and Sand laughed.

 

“I know, took you lots of convincing to even be here with us.” Sand joked.

 

Top hesitated, unsure if he should ask what he wanted to, “Would you have done it if it was just me?” 

 

Sand took a drag, then hummed, thinking of an answer.

 

“If Ray and Mew agreed,” Sand started facing Top, then laughed, shaking his head and pressing the base of his hand on his own forehead. “Shit, yeah.”

 

Top furrowed his eyebrows for the answer. Sand dragged himself to sit closer to Top, shoving him lightly with his shoulder 

 

“I like you, Top.” Sand said simply.

 

“No remorse?” Top asked, small.

 

“Not anymore.” Sand took another drag. Top gave him a humourless laugh.

 

“I didn't think that was possible.”

 

“Even Mew forgave you, didn't he? I think it's your charm.” Sand joked, and Top felt mildly offended by the words. Sand laughed once he realized that. “Let go, Top. Enjoy the moment.”

 

Sand brought the hand holding his cigarette to Top’s face, careful not to burn him, and pulled Top to a kiss, seemingly satisfied when Top gave in.

 

“Besides, you know you're hot. If I didn't hate you from the moment I first met you, I would've fucked you a long time ago.” Sand said with his lips so close Top's when he broke the kiss.

 

“You're very confident.” Top said back, raising one eyebrow in challenge. He moved his lips to Sand’s ear and whispered, “Who said I'd want you?”

 

“Not true judging by the way you look at me.” Sand snorted, challenging back. “And you were not exactly difficult to take home. I watched you.”

 

“I know, you used to steal my dates.” Top agreed, distancing his face a little and shaking his head amusedly.

 

“I'm better than you, I guess.” Sand shrugged. “And that was payoff.”

 

Top hummed in response, and they fell silent for a moment. Sand put out his cigarette on the ashtray from the table. It wasn't a cold night, but the air felt chilly since Top only had a shirt on and was still wearing the disgusting wet pants he had earlier, just like Sand. He watched Sand's arms getting goosebumps now that he no longer had a cigarette keeping him warm. Top wrapped his arm around Sand, pulling him, Sand resting his head against Top's neck and letting Top keep him close. 

 

Top felt a kiss on the top of his head, and looked up to find Mew fresh out of the shower.

 

“Your turn.” Mew said, rubbing his shoulders.

 

Top nodded, getting up and leaving them both there. He heard them laughing from afar.

 

When he came back from the shower, they were no longer there, but he heard voices coming from what he guessed to be Ray's bedroom. He followed in that direction, a little weary to maybe be invading Sand and Ray's privacy, but he found Mew also there, laying on the bed with Ray curled by his side, while Sand sat on the end of the bed. Top wasn't surprised to notice the bed was huge, fitting with the rest of the house, and he understood why it was even a possibility for four grown men to share it.

 

Mew had been laughing, it was clear from the expression on his face, and he looked comfortable. Top reminded himself this was a familiar place for him, Mew was surely used to this room, this bed, and to sharing it with Ray.

 

“Mew?” Top called, from the door. “We’re staying?” 

 

Mew raised his head, supporting himself with his forearms to look at Top. “If it’s fine by you.” He answered, silently questioning Top back. Top nodded in response.

 

Sand looked at him a little expectantly, waiting for Top to lay on the bed. It was clear enough Ray wouldn’t be letting go of Mew for the night, so Top went for Mew’s other side, awkwardly laying down and dragging his arm over Mew’s middle, feeling his arm brush against Ray’s. Sand followed him right after, turning down the lights and going for the opposite side so he could grab Ray from behind.

 

“This is weird.” Mew commented in a whisper, laughing. Top squeezed Mew a little more against himself.

 

“It's not, it's comfy.” Ray said back, giving Mew a kiss on his cheek.

 

Ray shifted, his hands going for Top's arms, squeezing gently, before going over Mew and kissing Top. First it was just a press of lips, but Ray deepened it as soon as Top started moving on the kiss. He was very aware of the fact they were kissing right over Mew, who let out a low gasp. Ray was softer than Sand, and even Mew. Top felt himself enjoying it.

 

“Okay, enough.” Sand said, pulling Ray back.

 

Ray turned his head to Sand's direction, still holding Mew, “I can kiss you as well.”

 

“We're sleeping, Ray.” Sand said, but he heard them kissing anyway.

 

Mew was right, it felt weird, even if he wasn't really in the middle of them. Ray's hand was still holding his arm, and he was almost sure it was Ray’s leg practically locking with his own. Mew was also holding both Top’s and Ray’s arms over himself, but mostly kept himself as Ray nuzzled his neck and Top rested his cheek on the top of his head. 

 

Top didn’t remember the last time he fell asleep so fast.

 

—

 

They needed to talk about it properly. As much as Top hated to be the one to bring that up, he felt like he was the only one out of the loop. They all seemed to have reached a certain agreement Top wasn't sure he even understood completely. He was still unsure about their dynamics, what he was allowed to do, how they were meant to act with each other.

 

The morning after, Top woke up determined to actually ask about all of these, but as soon they were all up he decided against it. He needed to talk to Mew first, not taking any decisions in front of Sand and Ray.

 

Still, he didn't really know what he wanted this to be. Sand and Ray were as inseparable in the morning as they normally were, and Mew was at Top's side most of the time they still spent at Ray's. Top wondered if that was a one time thing, but ruled it out as they kept exchanging looks and grins from time to time.

 

As they sat down for breakfast, Ray addressed what they were all kind of waiting for.

 

“So… what are we?” Ray asked jokingly, making them all laugh.

 

They were sitting on a small table, Ray making sure to have Mew’s seat almost touching his, while Sand and Top took the other side — almost as close as the other two, Top noticed.

 

They weren't exactly tense with each other since last night, they even had been touchier than their usual. Ray had kissed all of them on the cheek as a good morning, and just little earlier, he had caught Mew reclining over Sand to reach something from the balcony, sliding his hand in his waist without really needing to. But there was some sort of hesitation hanging in the air, and Ray dissolved it in a few words.

 

“We’re friends.” Mew answered grinning. 

 

“Mew, don't be mean!” Ray cried out.

 

“I think we don't need to label anything as of right now. We can keep trying things between us, though.” Sand suggested.

 

“What about in public?” Top asked, looking at Mew’s direction for approval. Mew pressed his lips together, pensive.

 

“I don't think I would mind.” Mew answered. “Kissing, holding hands, I think it's fine between us.”

 

Top tried to imagine Mew with either of them in public, holding Sand like he did with Top, or kissing Ray as if they were still together, and felt his heart beat faster. Mew would get to be affectionate with them, and… Top couldn't really see a downside to that anymore. The four of them had been close in the last few months, maybe they could work it out.

 

“What do you think?” Sand asked, directing it to Top, playful smile on his lips.

 

“I wouldn't mind it, either. Wouldn't want to take away your chance of kissing me.” Top answered, joking back, making Sand snort.

 

“You wish.” Sand retorted. “From the way you look at me, it's a good thing you don't have to hold yourself anymore.”

 

Top smiled at the answer, before looking at Mew, to check for any reaction, just to find him smiling knowingly at them. For a moment, he felt the smile on his face waver and his cheeks heating up, but he shook himself and smiled at Mew, shyer than he intended.

 

“It’s true, Top had been dreaming of kissing you for months now.” Mew teased, laughing.

 

“Aw, all you needed to do was ask.” Sand answered, flashing him with his smile. 

 

“You barely even liked me.” Top said back, knowing immediately that would be read as a confession.

 

“So you admit? You wanted to smooch me for months now?” Sand asked.

 

“Aw, but what about me? Didn't you want to smooch me?” Ray asked with a fake pout on his lips

 

“You also didn't like me.”

 

“It's true.” Ray confirmed, laughing. “But I like you, now.”

 

“I think we'll have time to fix it.” Sand said to Top, pulling Top by his chin, bringing him for a kiss.

 

Sand always kissed him as if he was in a mission to win, and Top was starting to realize he really liked letting Sand take control. Once they broke the kiss, Top starred at Sand's eyes, for a moment.

 

“Yeah, we'll figure it out.”