Chapter Text
“Hey, Shane, can you give me Rozanov’s number?” Hayden asked Shane as the Metros were changing in the locker room after practice. Around him, people were chattering in various states of undress. J.J. and Shane, who were chatting in French near him, looked up at his words.
“Why the hell do you need Rozanov’s number?” J.J. asked as he pulled his pants on. “He’s the asshole captain of Boston for fucks sake.”
Shane, who was pulling on a shirt, ignored him. “Hang on, Hayden, I’ll give it to you in a sec,” he said. “I assume it’s for the charity?”
“Why on Earth the would I voluntarily text him otherwise?” Hayden responded. “He’s an asshole, like J.J. just said.”
“Why the fuck do you have Rozanov’s number?” J.J. looked at Shane, confused. “You hate him, right?”
Shane didn’t look at him. Instead, he focused on taking his socks out of his locker and putting them on. After Hayden learned that Shane was actually friends with Rozanov, he began to notice that he grew increasingly annoyed every time someone mentioned their rivalry. “He’s friends with him.” Hayden responded for him. J.J. gave him a look that seemed to say what the fuck? “Don’t look at me, man. I have no idea why.” Hayden shook his head and reached for his shirt. He already helped Shane out by correcting J.J., but Shane could explain why himself since even Hayden didn’t know the answer.
“He’s actually not that much of an asshole,” Shane said finally. “It’s mostly just an act.” He looked at Hayden with a look of gratitude. Hayden knew Shane had a hard time articulating himself sometimes, so he tried to help out whenever he could. Like he said, he personally didn’t know what Shane saw in Rozanov as a friend. He just knew that Shane was a grown man who could make his own choices, so he supported Shane’s choices even though he thought they were questionable at best.
“Hollander’s starting a charity with him and asked me to coach. It’s a summer hockey camp and they’re gonna donate the proceeds to mental health organizations or some shit.” Hayden explained as he put his socks on.
“It’s not shit,” Shane admonished him, “Mental health is important.”
Suddenly, the familiar ringtone of his phone played from where it was sitting in his locker. He finished putting on his socks before standing up and taking it out of his locker. “Fuck, hang on, it’s Jackie, he told Shane and J.J before pressing the answer button and holding his phone up to his ear.
He was about to greet her, but she spoke before he could. “Can you pick up Arthur from daycare? They called and said he’s sick, but I have to stay here with Amber and the twins.” Hayden groaned. The twins had a cold and of course Arthur had caught it from them. Why did he decide to have four kids?
“Fuck, I knew he was gonna get it from the girls. Hang on, I just finished practice,” he replied.
“Swear jar, but thank you,” she responded through the phone.
“Fuck, you’re on speaker?” Hayden asked.
“Swear jar again. Yeah, I’m trying to get the girls to take their medicine right now,” Jackie responded, sounding tired.
“Alright, I’m on my way. Love you, bye!” he said before hanging up. He turned to Shane and J.J. who were waiting for him to finish talking to Jackie. “Shit, sorry guys. Arthur’s sick and I have to go get him from daycare,” he said as he quickly shoved his feet into his shoes.
“Shit, they got it from the twins?” J.J. asked. Hayden nodded, shoving his feet into his shoes.
“No worries, man. Go pick up Arthur,” Shane told Hayden. “I’ll text you Ilya’s number when I get a chance.”
“Thanks,” Hayden replied quickly as he hastily put his jacket on and grabbed his bag. He let the door swing closed behind him as he left. He was so thankful that Jackie took care of most things since he wasn’t home for half the season, but she couldn’t possibly go get him while she had three kids at home, two of which were already sick, and the third one still under two years old.
*~🏒~🏒~🏒~*
After he brought Arthur home and helped Jackie get him settled in bed, Hayden collapsed onto the couch with a sigh. He finally had some semblance of peace, apart from the sound of Jackie moving around in the background, likely putting stuff away that the kids left out. He would go help her with the chores soon, but he needed a break first. It was rare that they had any breaks from their kids when they were home, so he wanted to take advantage of the opportunity. He pulled out his phone and saw that Shane had texted him Rozanov’s phone number.
Shane: Here’s Rozanov’s number: (857)-555-0181
Hayden: Thanks!
He copied the number into his texts, and Lily came up. Hayden paused to think for a moment. Maybe Rozanov had Lily’s old number? But why would Lily and Rozanov happen to change numbers at the same time? Did Shane give him the wrong number? How the hell did he accidentally send him Lily’s number? He deleted the number, and re-copied it. When he pasted it, it was Lily again. He tried again, this time typing the number in manually. Lily again.
Maybe Shane really did give him his fuck buddy’s number instead. Was it a prank? But Shane wouldn’t do that. Also, it was the shittiest prank ever, since it was Lily's number and he had avoided talking about him (Hayden knew that Lily was a man since Shane had come out to him) at all.
Hayden: Why did you give me Lily’s number?
Shane: Why do you have her number?
Hayden groaned. He had never told him that he stole Lily’s number off his phone when Marleau knocked him down last season. He thought that, especially since he was in Boston, Lily would want to know how he was and maybe even visit. Also, why was Shane still referring to Lily as a girl when it was blatantly obvious that she he was a guy.
Hayden:
I may have gotten it from your phone when you got that concussion.
I figured he deserved to know if you were ok since we were in Boston.
Suddenly, Hayden realized something. Maybe Shane suspected that Hayden had stolen Lily’s number, and he sent Lily’s number to see if his suspicion was true or not. Shane either saw his phone or Lily said something to him about it. He hadn’t texted her much, just a few updates and his room number in the hospital. He knew he had visited him at some point, so maybe that’s how he knew, but Hayden and Shane’s parents hadn’t seen her at all.
Hayden pressed the call button next to Shane’s name. This would be faster over the phone, and Amber would wake up from her nap at any moment. He shifted the cushions around on the couch to find a more comfortable position as the phone rang a few times before Shane answered. “Hi Hayden,” Shane’s voice came through the phone. “Why are you calling me?”
“Did you seriously just send me Lily’s number to see if I had it?” Hayden asked.
“What?” Shane seemed confused. Maybe that wasn’t what he was doing. “I didn’t.” Shane paused a bit. He must have come to the conclusion that Hayden definitely knew that he sent Lily’s number so he changed tactics. “Um, it was an accident.”
Hayden crossed his legs. That lie wasn’t much better than the first one, but he supposed it was at least plausible. “So you’re saying you accidentally sent me your fuck buddy’s number instead of Rozanov’s?” Hayden asked, amused.
“She’s not my fuck buddy!” Shane argued.
“Sure, whatever you say.” Hayden was not convinced. He knew that Lily was not a woman and definitely a fuck buddy (or more), but he didn’t want to argue about this right now since he knew that it would take Shane forever to admit it, though. He didn’t have enough time to have this conversation when Amber could wake up at any moment.
They sat in silence for a moment before Hayden asked, “Can you send me Rozanov’s real number? I actually need to talk to him.” Hayden waited for him to respond, maybe with a quip about how he was starting to see that he wasn’t so bad, but he didn’t say anything. “Shane, are you there?” he asked. Shane still didn’t speak, but Hayden could hear his breathing growing harder and faster. “Shane, are you okay man?” Hayden asked.
He knew that Shane had a lot of anxiety, and he always made a point to be a reassuring and helpful friend when he was especially anxious. He thought that Shane would reassure him in the way he always did, with a yeah, I’m fine that didn’t sound true. Instead, he just started breathing even harder, coming out in short gasps.
Fuck. Shane was having a panic attack, likely from something Hayden had said. He didn’t think he said anything that could cause this, but maybe it had to do with Lily. But he had mentioned Lily multiple times over the years and Shane hadn’t had this strong of a reaction, so it couldn’t have been related to her, right? Regardless of what exactly triggered Shane’s panic attack, he probably was the one who did, meaning that it was his job to fix it. Even if he didn’t cause it, he should help him anyway. Shane was his friend and he had helped him through many panic attacks over the years.
“Shane. You’re okay. Just breathe with me.” Hayden had done this many times, but he wasn’t sure what to do since he was (probably) the one who caused it this time. He couldn’t let Shane know that he was freaking out though, since it would only make it worse. “Breath in for five,” he instructed, counting each second out. “Breathe out for five,” he continued. He repeated this until Shane eventually calmed down enough to say, “Hayden, fuck, I don’t know how to tell you this.”
Hayden didn’t know what the big deal was about dating Lily. For some reason, it felt like Shane was keeping an astronomically large secret from him, so there had to be some complication with their relationship. He had already come out as gay, so Hayden had no idea what could be an even bigger secret than that. He had thought about this a lot, and none of his theories made sense. Originally, he thought that maybe he was closeted, but Shane was too. Shane knew that Hayden wouldn’t ever out him (and his boyfriend), so why wouldn’t he tell Hayden? Maybe he was private and didn’t want it to get in the news, but once again, why wouldn’t Shane tell his best friend? His main theory was that he was married, but even that wasn’t very plausible since Shane was definitely not that kind of guy.
He still didn’t know what his secret could possibly be, but he said, “Shane, you’re my best friend in the whole fucking world. You know you can tell me anything."
Shane stayed silent for a moment longer and took a deep breath before finally saying, “It’s Rozanov.”
“What about Rozanov? I thought this was about Lily,” Hayden was confused. He thought his secret was related to his boyfriend, not Rozanov. He waited a moment for Shane’s response.
“Rozanov,” Shane repeated. “Ilya is my boyfriend. He’s Lily.”
Oh, oh fuck. So this was Shane’s secret.
“What the hell?” Hayden blurted out. Shane’s boyfriend was Ilya Rozanov?
“See? That’s why I didn’t tell you! I knew you would react like this.” Shane sounded angry, but Hayden couldn’t tell exactly how he was feeling over the phone. On second thought, he was definitely angry since he just got yelled at by his best friend after confessing his biggest secret, one that he had guarded closely for countless years. Hayden knew he had fucked up as a friend. He should’ve reacted supportively even though it was fucking Rozanov that Shane was dating.
“Why the fuck are you with that asshole out of all people?” he asked in disbelief.
“I-” Shane took a deep breath, as if he was calming himself down. “I love him,” he said simply.
He knew that Shane really liked Lily-no, Ilya Rozanov, but he didn’t know that he was in love with him. He still had no idea what the hell Shane saw in Rozanov, but since he apparently loved him, Hayden supposed that he should at least give him a chance. “Shit, sorry man. I’m not mad at you,” he started. “Actually wait, I am kind of mad at you. Like what the fuck? You’re dating your rival, for fucks sake! You’re the captain of the Metros, I don’t understand why you had to pick Rozanov, the captain of the Raiders, over all of the single men in Montreal. I’m sure they would all want you.”
Fuck. That was not what he meant to say, but he was having a hard time controlling his reaction. Hayden sighed, “But I suppose you can date whoever you want. I just don’t understand why it’s Rozanov of all people. What do you even see in him?”
“You should meet him,” Shane said instead of an answer. “He’s actually not that big of an asshole once you get to know him.” The tone of his voice told Hayden that he was smiling. He must really like love Rozanov.
“Somehow I have a hard time believing that.” Hayden couldn’t imagine Rozanov being nice. He was always chirping about something, usually at the expense of the Metros, when their teams played each other. “But fine. I’ll meet him since you apparently love him so much.” Hayden mentally patted himself on the back for that. See, maybe he could be supportive after all.
Hayden heard Jackie walking into the room. He glanced over and saw that she was putting something back in the cabinet that must’ve been left in a random place by one of the kids.
“You could come over next time he’s in town?” Shane suggested.
“Alright, I can’t wait to eat dinner with Rozanov.” Sarcasm dripped off the words. Or maybe not then. Hopefully Shane wasn’t upset by that though, since Hayden couldn’t bring himself to be enthusiastic about meeting Rozanov. Jackie looked up and raised an eyebrow at that sentence. Hayden met her eyes. Later, he mouthed. She nodded and left the room to return to the kitchen.
Hayden didn’t want to think about this plan right now, especially as his mind was still reeling with the revelation that Shane was dating Rozanov. Hell, Shane apparently loved Rozanov. Hayden decided that he had to change the subject. “I guess I have his number, then.” Not the best, but he couldn’t think of anything better at that moment.
“Yeah, and you’ve had it for, like, months?” Shane responded. That was good. His signature (albeit weak) backhands were back. That meant he was okay after what just happened.
“Yeah, I have, and you didn’t tell me,” Hayden shot back, trying to sound like he was teasing and not accusing.
“Fuck off,” Shane protested with a laugh. Thank god Shane took it as teasing. Hayden would murder himself if he fucked up yet another time in this conversation.
“You know, I’m always your friend, even if you have extremely questionable taste in men.” Hayden had to make sure that Shane knew that before saying bye. “But I have to go. I should go help Jackie with chores before Amber wakes up from her nap.” He didn’t really have to go at that moment, but he needed to process his new revelations before talking to Shane any more.
“Alright, bye. Say ‘hi’ to the kids for me.” Shane always had a soft spot for Hayden’s kids.
“Will do. Bye.” Hayden pressed the red button to end the call before slamming his phone down onto the couch. He was not expecting the conversation to end that way. Maybe he would’ve gotten Shane to finally admit that Lily was his fuck buddy, but he never imagined that it would be Rozanov or that he was in love with him. He needed to tell someone, probably Jackie, about this before he exploded. He would have to hold it in for a while because it would take him a while to process it himself. By the time he did, who knows what chaos would be ensuing in their house.