Chapter Text
“I officially hate men.” Taehyung is standing, facing the now open door to Jimin’s apartment, he’s carrying a plastic bag containing the bottle of gin he bought on his way over, and he really truly does hate men – every single one of them. Excluding maybe the one stood in front of him examining his face, an almost smile ghosting his own. Maybe Jimin can be the exception.
“But you’re a man?” Comes the response. Okay, maybe not.
Taehyung scowls at him and pushes his way inside muttering a sarcastic “helpful” as he passes.
He storms through the house and into Jimin’s kitchen where he pulls off his jacket. The black leather one that makes his waist look good; the one he only wears when he’s really trying to make an effort because it’s so uncomfortable. Ungrateful prick he thinks as he chucks it on the back of a chair and glares at it.
He hears Jimin shut the door behind them as Taehyung slams the plastic bag he’s carrying onto the table and starts pulling out the bottle. The next thing he hears are footsteps and then an “I’m sorry.” Jimin sighs, pauses, and then much softer this time he says, “what happened?”
Taehyung’s shoulders sag and he stops what he’s doing to turn and face his best friend who’s stood awkwardly in the entrance to his own kitchen. “He was such a prick Jimin” he says, and it was meant to sound angry, but instead it trails off into more of a whine.
Honestly, Taehyung has kind of felt like crying since his date ended and his voice starts to wobble as he goes on to explain, in precise detail, the events of his very awful, very selfish, actually kind of mean, arrives late, only talks about himself, doesn’t ask any questions or offer any compliments, completely uninterested in everything, piece of shit date. By the end of his retelling angry tears have welled in his eyes which he tries and fails to blink away before looking at Jimin and pouting as they fall.
He likes to pretend that stuff like this doesn’t bother him anymore, but he’s been talking to this guy for a few weeks now and had actually been really looking forward to today. He actually liked this one and is now beginning to wonder what is so inherently wrong with him for all his dates to go this badly.
Jimin doesn’t say anything straight away once Taehyung has finished his spiel. He just walks over and envelopes his best friend into a hug. He smooths his hands over Taehyung’s back and rests his chin on his shoulder. “I’m sorry angel” he whispers gently into his neck. Taehyung inhales, shaky, breathing him in. He can smell Jimin’s perfume; he smells sweet, there's a hint of vanilla. It’s familiar. It’s comforting.
“Should I beat him up for you?” A muffled voice offers into his shoulder.
Taehyung huffs out a laugh feeling slightly better “please.”
He stays like that, in Jimin’s arms, until the sadness has numbed and swirled into a bitter anger, and the anger has ebbed away — with the feeling of Jimin’s hands stroking his back softly — into a mild annoyance. Eventually, and reluctantly, he extracts himself from Jimin’s arms and turns back towards the kitchen table to resume his original plans.
Taehyung is going to forget about men and the fact that either he, or every single one of them, is inherently un-datable and that he’s never going to find anyone to settle down with and will be single forever and die alone. No, tonight he is not going to think about that, tonight he’s getting drunk.
“Are you okay?” Jimin sounds concerned. Taehyung can already picture the look being shot his way right now. He can feel Jimin studying the back of his head, probably chewing the inside of his cheek, eyebrows furrowed in that cute way he does when he’s not quite sure what Taehyung is thinking.
“No,” Taehyung admits, trying to keep the pout in his voice even though he might be smiling a little. Maybe. Nobody has to know. “Do you have lemonade?” He asks as he walks over to Jimin’s cupboards and raids them for glasses “I want to get drunk”.
“Are you sure that’s—”
“I’m getting drunk with or without you” he sing-songs before Jimin can finish his sentence.
“Fine,” comes the response, the reluctance in his voice would almost be believable if Taehyung didn’t know him so well, “lemonade’s in the fridge.” Taehyung grins, properly now, and returns to the table triumphantly, two glasses in hand.
-
They’re a few drinks in when the alcohol reaches that point where all the things you’re trying not to think about decide to rear their ugly heads. So naturally now all Taehyung can think about is that stupid date and that stupid man and the fact that he’s probably going to die alone with cats eating his face or something.
He tries to hide it, he probably does a good job too, to anyone that isn’t Jimin. But Jimin knows Taehyung too well and Taehyung can tell that Jimin is concerned by the way he studies Taehyung’s face when he thinks he isn’t looking. Thankfully, Jimin doesn’t try to force him to talk about it. He lets him sulk in peace and gracefully pretends not to notice. He gives Taehyung the space to talk about it when he’s ready and in the meantime keeps the conversation flowing, distracting Taehyung and stopping him from getting too in his head about everything.
He’s perfect really. He always is, he always knows what Taehyung needs somehow, in a way that no one else does. Taehyung has other friends, friends he of course loves very dearly, but they’re still not Jimin. No one is. Even out on dates he regularly catches himself wishing he could leave and go hang out with Jimin instead. It seems like a sick joke that the only man worth his time is destined to be his platonic soulmate and best friend forever.
Displeasure must be visible on his face because he notices Jimin surveying him again.
“What?” Taehyung asks, pouting.
“You’re sulking.”
“No I’m not” he replies petulant, pouting harder.
Jimin just tuts, he’s quiet for a second and then his eyes light up suddenly and…
“Let’s go out!” he announces, grinning excitedly and downing the rest of his drink.
Taehyung sighs. Because okay yes, fine, he is sulking. He’s had a bad day, he’s feeling sorry for himself, and maybe he wants to sulk a little longer. Sue him!
“Do we have to?”
Jimin rolls his eyes as he sits down next to Taehyung on the bed with freshly poured drinks for them both. “You’re the one who wanted to get drunk in the first place.”
“So?”
“So… let’s go out, it will be fun!”
Taehyung groans dramatically.
“Come on.” He whines, elongating the words and nudging Taehyung’s shoulder “otherwise you’ll just sit around all night making yourself feel worse.”
To be fair, Jimin is probably right, he usually is when it comes to Taehyung. That however doesn’t mean Taehyung is willing to concede, it’s the principle!
“Maybe that’s what I want to do?” Comes his, quite frankly, pathetic response.
Jimin sighs and ignores him. A moment passes and then he’s looking up at Taehyung again, eyes wide and almost glittering with excitement, and he says “Can I do your makeup before we go?”
Taehyung knows now he had already lost this argument the second it had started. He takes in Jimin’s grin and the way excitement lights up every feature on his face.
“Fine” he surrenders. Fuck principle.
Jimin’s smile gets impossibly bigger then, so wide his eyes crinkle shut; Taehyung forgets what he was even upset about in the first place.
-
Once he’s collected all of his supplies, Jimin settles opposite Taehyung on the bed and begins taking products out of his makeup bag and arranging them neatly in front of him.
“Promise you’ll get my shade right this time” Taehyung teases as Jimin begins pumping foundation onto the back of his hand.
Jimin stops what he’s doing to flip Taehyung off. “Not my fault you’d just been on holiday and all of my stuff was too light.”
“A true artist doesn’t make excuses” he responds, shaking his head in disappointment.
“Yeah yeah, whatever” Jimin waves him off and so Taehyung sighs dramatically as a result.
Jimin sighs too. “Okay fine, I promise to get it right this time”
“Good and make me look pretty or no boys will want to kiss me.”
Jimin just rolls his eyes “you’re already pretty Tae Tae” he says “and anyway, I thought you said you hated men?”
“Yes, but, well— now I’m tipsy and I wanna kiss someone” Taehyung crosses his arms as if to make a point ignoring Jimin when he chuckles and shakes his head disapprovingly.
It’s quiet then as Jimin starts dotting foundation onto Taehyung’s face with the pad of his finger. Only for a little while though because once he’s finished Jimin sits back slightly and says “Tae, you know you’re like my favourite person ever, right?”
He says it so simply that Taehyung is taken a little off guard by the comment but it makes him smile all the same. “And you’re mine,” he says in response, expecting that to be the end of it.
“No, I know,” Jimin says “but I don’t think you understand what I mean. You’re like— literally the best person I know and I’m not just saying it either to make you feel better or whatever. You’re genuinely the best, and all those shitty men who get to date you but can’t appreciate how—” he pauses and makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat like he’s looking for the right word but can’t find it yet “how just… beautiful you are” he finally blurts out. Taehyung looks down at his hands and swallows around the lump forming in his throat. He hopes to god the foundation on his face obscures the warmth he can feel in his cheeks.
“They don’t mean shit Tae” he continues “and I know it’s hard to believe me when I say this, but they don’t know you, and their opinions don’t mean anything. You’re way too good for them anyway”. Taehyung smiles down at his crossed legs, wondering faintly where all of this is coming from. Jimin shuffles forward on the bed once he’s finished talking and when their knees touch Taehyung looks up to meet his gaze and Jimin just looks so earnest and desperate for Taehyung to believe him that it’s impossible not to.
They’re sitting really close now and at this proximity Taehyung can see every tiny detail on Jimin’s face. He has a thin black line painted just above his lashes that’s been smudged out and covered in a glittery eyeshadow. He briefly wonders when he had time to do his makeup but then remembers something about Jimin's housemate Hoseok having a party, and recalls the knowledge that Jimin likes to sit and get ready with his friends even when he doesn’t have any plans himself. It’s cute.
Jimin leans in closer when he starts dotting a second, slightly darker shade, onto Taehyung's face and now Taehyung can see each of Jimin’s individual eyelashes sprinkled with specks of glitter that have fallen from his lids. Pretty. Taehyung catches himself holding his breath and when he finally exhales and allows himself to breathe in he can smell Jimin’s perfume again. He can feel Jimin’s breath faintly tickling his cheek too and it’s a lot. Almost too much, he thinks, sat like this.
Jimin does tend to get like this when he’s been drinking, all honest and heartfelt, so it's silly really for Taehyung to be feeling like he is. It’s not like they haven’t been this close before, they’re practically attached at the hip for god’s sake; but still, this feels different somehow. Somewhere between his failed date, the soft buzz of alcohol thrumming through his body, and Jimin calling him beautiful, this feels like uncharted territory. Jimin, who is his best friend, who knows everything from his weird niche interests to his darkest thoughts and secrets. Park Jimin, who’s seen Taehyung at his absolute happiest and also curled up and sobbing into a pillow at 3am with snot running down his face. In theory nothing is uncharted territory with them so Taehyung doesn’t really know what he’s thinking. But the facts remain; Jimin just called him beautiful and Taehyung's heart is racing.
“You think I’m beautiful?” he asks with a grin, teasing. Deflecting slightly from his ongoing crisis, deciding not to think too deeply about it because it’s only Jimin. He’s just drunk and imagining things probably.
“Of course idiot,” Jimin responds, rolling his eyes and reaching into his makeup bag to pull out a sponge as if it’s the most casual thing in the world. He rests one hand on the back of Taehyung’s head to steady it and starts to blend out the foundation. “But I don’t just mean the way you look. Like, obviously that too…”
“Obviously” Taehyung’s grin widens.
“Shut up,” Jimin says, pulling at Taehyung’s hair gently. Taehyung tries to ignore the way his stomach drops.
“As I was saying” Jimin continues “I don’t just mean how you look, I mean your personality too. Like, just the way you are. It’s beautiful the way you see the world, and how you treat your friends. Or how you act when you’re passionate about something. It's all so beautiful and I just love watching you… exist.”
“Oh” Taehyung breathes out, not knowing how else to respond, especially with the way Jimin is looking at him. It’s all entirely too much for him to deal with right now, and so he shuts his eyes and allows himself to enjoy the gentle press of Jimin’s beauty blender on his face and the warmth of the hand resting in his hair instead.
Silence hangs heavily in the air. The only noise in the room is the sound of their breathing, and Taehyung’s mind is scrambling desperately for ways to fill it. He kind of wants Jimin to keep on telling him things he likes about him, but he doesn’t really know how to ask and so he doesn’t.
He doesn’t dare open his eyes until the feeling of the beauty blender pressing into his skin stops and Jimin moves away, breaking contact from all points and leaving the back of his head and knees feeling cold. It’s quiet for a beat and when he opens his eyes Taehyung thinks Jimin cheeks are flushed pink. He wonders if he’s imagining it, and then Jimin is turning away from him to reach for their drinks and it’s too late to tell.
“Sorry if I made it weird saying that stuff,” Jimin says, handing Taehyung his drink and taking a sip of his own, avoiding eye contact.
“Why would that make things weird?”
“I don’t know, just— it was kind of intense. It sounded less intense in my head. Sorry if it was like too much or anything”
“I don’t think it was too much,” Taehyung responds carefully. “I mean yeah it was intense I guess but like we’re best friends you know? We feel intense things about each other. I feel the same way about you too.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Jimin says, not seeming quite as convinced as Taehyung had hoped.
“You should tell me more stuff,” he blurts out, desperate to make it clear that what Jimin said was really okay, “that you like about me” he clarifies finishing his drink. It’s kind of embarrassing asking for validation so directly but it’s worth it when Jimin rewards him by finally looking at him again and smiling properly.
Jimin resumes the makeover after that. They’re even closer than they were before, Jimin is practically sitting in Taehyung’s lap now, and when he puts his hand back in his hair Taehyung melts into the familiar touch and closes his eyes again.
“Well,” Jimin begins, voice so gentle, barely above a whisper. He’s so close Taehyung thinks he’d be able to hear Jimin’s heartbeat if they were quiet enough, he wonders if it’s racing like his is. “For starters, I love how your mind works. I love hearing your perspective on things. Turn your head slightly for me” he instructs, cupping Taehyung’s chin to guide his face to the left. “I feel like I learn so much from you.” He continues “You’re so smart. People always underestimate you. I don‘t know why, maybe because you’re so cute—” Jimin clears his throat and Taehyung opens his eyes to see the tips of his ears turning red. Neither of them say anything and Jimin carries on almost without a hitch. “I love seeing you surprise them, they always think they can outsmart you but it never works. You’re so perceptive you always see it coming.” They continue like that, Jimin listing things off and Taehyung with his eyes closed listening, smiling, feeling warm and fuzzy and so known.
Jimin stops talking after a while as he finishes Taehyung’s base and starts working on his eyes, tapping what Taehyung can only assume is glitter onto his eyelids. The warmth still stays though; the silence around them, comfortable and safe.
Eventually, once Taehyung’s eyeshadow is complete, Jimin giggles and breaks the silence saying, “okay so I don’t think I’m gonna be able to do your mascara from this angle.” Taehyung opens his eyes as Jimin shuffles back on the bed to admire his work. Taehyung admires Jimin right back. His cheeks are definitely red now, so are his lips actually as if he’s been biting them. Taehyung can picture it, Jimin’s lips between his teeth, face screwed up in concentration as he works on his makeup.
If he were less drunk, Taehyung would probably have something to say about catching himself staring at his best friend’s lips. If he were sober, he would probably have a mild crisis when Jimin tells him it would be easier to do his mascara if Taehyung was lying down. In fact, he would have probably just offered to do it himself rather than actually laying down on the bed and letting Jimin clamber over him, knees resting either side of his hips, elbow supporting his weight on the bed next to Taehyung’s ear, free hand holding the mascara wand. Jimin’s face is so close to his again and okay maybe Taehyung doesn’t have to be sober to panic over this.
Because this is absolutely and undeniably uncharted territory. It doesn’t matter how close they are, how touchy they’ve always been, or how special their bond is, Jimin is all over him and Taehyung realises with a certain clarity that he wants more, and it’s that that’s new, the wanting. Maybe it’s the alcohol, he bargains, maybe he’s just sad and drunk and lonely, and Jimin is his favourite person in the universe, and so his brain is getting mixed up. Whatever the case, Jimin is everywhere, and Taehyung is reeling over how badly he wants it.
He knows he must look a picture lying there like this, his cheeks warm when Jimin’s gaze flicks down to where Taehyung’s mouth is parted slightly. Jimin’s face is hovering above him, so close, his teeth resting on his bottom lip, biting down slightly. It’s different to how Taehyung had pictured it before, like he’s admiring something rather than deep in concentration, he doesn’t think Jimin even realises he’s doing it.
Jimin’s lips are so red. They’re shiny too as if he’s… oh— as if he’s wearing lip gloss. They’re so pretty he thinks, wetting his own lips with his tongue. They’re so pretty and Taehyung wonders what it would be like to kiss them.
“Pretty” he whispers accidentally, alcohol making his tongue loose.
“Hmm?” Jimin responds, a soft smile playing at his lips.
Taehyung freezes, slowly catching up to the fact that he was speaking out loud. “Huh?”
“You just said something?”
“It was nothing” Taehyung can feel his whole face heating embarrassingly.
Jimin grins down at him, clearly taking much enjoyment from Taehyung’s panic. “No it wasn't,” he teases, tucking a hair behind Taehyung’s ear. “Tell me what you said,” he leans ever so slightly closer as he says it, his soft smile making Taehyung’s breath catch.
Taehyung wants to look away but finds that he can’t bring himself to do it. He takes in Jimin’s face in front of him; his cheeks are pink, eyes wide, lips– Taehyung is looking at his lips again.
Jimin’s gaze flicks to his lips too, Taehyung swallows. Fuck it!
“I said you’re pretty.”
Jimin leans down then, his delicate hand is still holding Taehyung’s face, mascara wand discarded on the bed somewhere. He’s pulling Taehyung up, closing the gap between them, until his pretty pretty lips are finally on his and they’re kissing.
Taehyung‘s brain short circuits.
It starts off slow, soft lips pressing against soft lips, kisses short and sweet. Jimin’s lips are slightly sticky and Taehyung can taste cherries confirming his lip gloss theory from earlier. He can’t quite believe this is happening, barely able to catch up to what he’s doing before Jimin is parting his mouth ever so slightly and teasing Taehyung’s bottom lip with his tongue.
And then they’re kissing properly, hot and open mouthed and it’s kind of messy and uncoordinated because neither of them are exactly sober, but it’s so good and Jimin is everywhere. His elbows are still resting on the bed holding himself up, framing Taehyung’s head. His hands are fisted in Taehyung’s hair, and his thighs are straddling his hips, trapping him against the bed.
They kiss like they’re starving, heat building between them and thrumming deep through Taehyung’s body. He’s pushing himself off the bed slightly, leaning on his elbows to move up into the kiss desperately. Jimin meets him with the same urgency and Taehyung can’t stop thinking about how close their hips are, how if he rocked up at just the right angle he could—
Fuck
He forces himself to stay put, not really sure where the line is right now, and opts instead to wrap one of his arms around Jimin’s back and pull him flush to his chest so that he’s closer closer closer. Briefly he thinks that maybe this should be weird, kissing your best friend of five years should feel weird, yet it doesn’t. He wonders if maybe that in itself is weird, but then Jimin pulls back a little and grazes his teeth over Taehyung’s bottom lip and so he stops thinking anything anymore. Anything aside from the fact that he never wants to stop kissing Jimin ever. In fact, he doesn’t know why he hasn’t been kissing Jimin like this since the dawn of time. How has he wasted so much of his life not kissing his best friend of five years?
Jimin pulls Taehyung’s bottom lip into his mouth and sucks ever so gently and Taehyung huffs out a shaky breath that’s embarrassingly close to a whine. Then — finally — Jimin grinds his hips down and Taehyung actually does whine. So does Jimin. Soft and breathy, pretty like everything else he does. He grinds down again, slow and purposeful, and Taehyung rocks his hips up to meet him, earning himself a gasp off Jimin. Taehyung moans softly and his body feels like it’s on fire.
“Why have we never done this before?” He huffs out between kisses, choking back another moan as they continue moving desperately against each other finding a rhythm.
He doesn’t really expect Jimin to respond to him but when he does he sounds just as affected as Taehyung feels, voice rough and breathy “I didn’t think you wanted to”.
At that, Taehyung stops his movements and pulls away slightly, he opens his eyes to blink at Jimin, confused because why would he not want to do this? Jimin looks… well… his cheeks are flushed, pretty pink again, his lips are deep red and shiny with spit from kissing. A hot thrill shoots through his body and settles deep and burning in the pit of his stomach. Why in the hell would anyone not want to do this? This is all Taehyung wants to do for the rest of his life.
Something registers in the back of his mind, the part of his brain that’s not drunk on alcohol and Jimin, that Jimin doesn’t actually know that. That in fact until around 10 minutes ago Taehyung himself didn't know that having Jimin like this, all over him, kissing him, was something that he wanted.
That part of his mind seems to be very far away though and Taehyung is finding it difficult to focus like this. What, with Jimin on top of him looking at him like that? All of his attention trained on Taehyung like they’re the only two people in the universe. Park Jimin is dizzying, he realises, and Taehyung doesn’t know what else to do but lean in and kiss him again, desperate to show him just how badly he wants it.
Jimin pulls away.
“We should stop.” He leans back to sit up on his knees leaving Taehyung looking up at him.
“Sure, yeah” Taehyung responds after a beat, still catching his breath. “Can I ask why?” he says, hoping to sound casual and trying not to let on how much his heart has just sank. He sits up too now, leaning back on his hands to look at Jimin.
Jimin doesn’t quite meet his eyes when he responds. “We’re both drunk, you’re um— sad. And, well, I don’t think this means the same for you as it does for me”.
Oh.
“What does that mean?” He thinks he can probably figure out what it means if he tries hard enough, he just kind of needs Jimin to say it himself. He can feel his heart pounding and hear the blood rushing in his ears and it feels like the two of them are about to step off a ledge and fall into something very significant and Taehyung just needs to know if he’s right before he can even begin to consider what might happen next. God he wishes he were sober.
“Can we talk about this another time?” Jimin responds, still not looking at him properly. Taehyung wants to protest. “I promise we will talk about it. Just not now, not while we’re drunk” he insists, eyes wide and pleading. He looks scared, like he’s about to break something precious and fragile, like maybe he already has. Taehyung backs down immediately, overcome with the need to hold him and comfort him and tell him everything is going to be okay.
So he lets it go.
“Okay” he agrees, smiling gently, unable to help himself from tucking a strand of hair behind Jimin’s ear. Almost drunk enough to convince himself that nothing that’s happened tonight really matters and tomorrow will come and go like normal.
There’s a pause after their conversation, a silence, where they’re just looking at each other and Taehyung stupidly thinks, hopes, Jimin might kiss him again. But of course he doesn’t and then the moment is gone.
“You still need mascara” Jimin says, shattering it once and for all “let me do it and then we should leave”.
Taehyung doesn’t lie down this time as Jimin goes back to doing his makeup and finds he’s thankful for the distance. He has a whole new world of uncharted territory to deal with now because his best friend just kissed him and he wanted it so badly. He still wants it, he wants it again and again and again and now that he’s had it he doesn’t know how he can ever go back.
-
It’s quiet in the taxi. It’s silent in fact, bar the sound of Jimin humming along softly to the radio and the noise of traffic coming through the open window. Wind is rushing refreshingly over Taehyung’s face, sobering him up ever so slightly as he watches the cars as they go past. He watches the familiar streets whizz by as they take the well travelled route to Jimin’s favourite club.
He met Jimin during his first week in the city. He was sitting on a bench on campus feeling particularly homesick, crying on the phone to his mother about how he wanted to come home because no one liked him and he’d never make any friends. Jimin had approached him pretty much as soon as Taehyung put the phone down.
“So” he’d said, sitting down on the bench next to him “I have no friends either wanna be mine?”
“Were you listening in on my conversation?” Taehyung sniffled, forcing back a smile as hope burst in his chest.
“Well you weren’t talking very quietly” was the response and that was it, ever since then they had been inseparable.
Taehyung and Jimin.
Jimin, who offered to give Taehyung the ‘guided tour of Seoul’ even though he’d only moved there a week earlier than him. Jimin, who invited him to all of his dance shows and turned up to all of Taehyung’s band performances. Jimin, who flew home early from his family holiday to come to his graduation when he found out Taehyung’s parents couldn’t make it. Jimin, who was the first person Taehyung came out to. Jimin, who cried on the phone to him about a month later telling him he was bisexual and he was sorry for not saying anything sooner but he was scared. Jimin, who listened to every single one of Taehyung’s stupid failed date stories and comforted him through it. Jimin who-
“Hey you okay over there?” Jimin’s voice mused softly, pulling Taehyung back to the present.
And oh… oh.
He’s in love with him. Jimin, who has always been different from his other friends, better than his other friends. Park Jimin, his favourite person in the entire universe. Taehyung thinks that maybe he’s been in love with him this whole time. All those dates he’d been on when he couldn’t wait for it to end so that he could go home and see Jimin and tell him how badly it had gone. He’s not sure how he could’ve been so blind to something that was so obviously staring him in the face.
And Jimin feels the same? He’s pretty sure. Maybe not for as long and maybe he’s not in love with him (although maybe Taehyung isn’t in love either and maybe he needs to think about this when he isn’t 5 gins deep) but he’s pretty sure Jimin feels something. Even drunk it’s hard to misread what Jimin had said to him earlier.
I don’t think this means the same for you as it does for me.
It does, Taehyung wants to say. He wants to tell Jimin that he doesn’t really want to go out any more. He wants to turn the taxi round and go back to Jimin’s, back to his bed to continue where they left off. He wants to…
“Tae?” Jimin’s voice comes again softly, it wobbles this time and when Taehyung looks at him, Jimin looks visibly worried.
Maybe they should talk first.
“Yeah I’m okay,” Taehyung replies, swallowing thickly. He musters all of his self control and keeps his mouth shut, not tonight he thinks. Jimin wants to talk first, and Taehyung agrees that it’s probably best to think about this again when things aren’t tinged with alcohol. Jimin’s features instantly smooth out at his response, relaxing, and Taehyung thinks not for the first time that night that Jimin really is very beautiful.
-
Taehyung stumbles out of the taxi once they arrive. The alcohol is definitely hitting him now. That, combined with Jimin’s “let’s have fun tonight” as he steps on to the pavement — significantly more gracefully than Taehyung managed — is almost enough to make him forget about the fact that his entire world has just turned upside down.
Out on the street, Jimin smiles at him, grabs his hand, and drags him to the entrance of the night club; Taehyung’s stomach flips. The music hits him as soon as they get inside, pounding through his whole body, bass sitting low in his chest. Jimin loves nightclubs, he loves the music and the noise and the fact that it’s so loud there’s no room for conversation and the only thing you can do is dance. Taehyung (who tolerates night clubs slightly more since finding that out) needs more alcohol.
He doesn’t drink much usually, especially at house parties or a casual trip to a bar. He doesn’t really like the taste, and while he enjoys being tipsy sometimes, he hates how out of control it can make him feel when he drinks too much. However at night clubs, with the blinding lights and screaming music and constant shoving, the only way to make it tolerable is to be at least as drunk as everyone else. Besides, after everything that has happened today? Yeah he definitely needs to be drunk.
Reading his mind as usual, Jimin drags them both through the crowd of people on the dance floor and straight towards the bar. Everything smells of sweat and alcohol and Taehyung is pretty sure he steps on the toes of about six different people, but eventually they make it and Jimin buys them both a drink before dragging them back through the crowd and to the dance floor.
Jimin is good at dancing. Obviously. Taehyung already knows that, being his best friend and all. Objectively, Jimin is good at dancing. However, what Taehyung didn’t realise is how entirely captivating he can be, drunk on a packed dance floor in a sweaty night club. Taehyung can’t take his eyes off him. Off the way his body moves and his hips roll, smiling with his eyes closed as he dances. Or how the lights reflect off the glitter on his cheeks and eyelids and off the lip gloss he watched him reapply earlier because it had all been kissed off…
Taehyung shakes himself out of it before the flush creeping up his neck can reach his face and distracts himself from Jimin’s face by dragging his gaze down his body instead. Bad idea. He looks good. He’s wearing a white shirt with the top four (god help him) buttons undone. A few pretty silver necklaces rest against his chest and the shirt is tucked loosely into a pair of skinny leather pants that hug his ass deliciously. It’s a simple enough outfit but that doesn’t seem to stop the jolt of desire that shoots through Taehyung, mouth watering as he imagines getting his tongue on Jimin’s exposed neck and chest.
He sucks in a breath trying to regain some form of self control and flicks his eyes back up to Jimin’s face only to find his best friend staring right back at him, looking almost smug.
Jimin grins at him then, when their eyes meet, and pulls Taehyung into him so that his back is flush against Jimin’s almost naked chest. Their bodies roll together, Jimin’s hands are strong on his waist guiding him. Taehyung forgets how to breathe and downs the rest of his drink before pulling them back to the bar to get another. Grinding on Jimin is not something he can deal with right now.
Once they reach the bar, Taehyung hangs back and lets Jimin brave the crowd — an unwritten rule that Jimin follows in return for getting Taehyung to come out with him. He watches him with a smile as Jimin navigates the crowd with ease. A smile that slowly fades as Jimin gets to the front of the line and Taehyung sees him start chatting to a random man as he waits his turn to order. He then spends about 30 seconds trying to decipher if they’re flirting, another minute and a half feeling unreasonably jealous and possessive, and the remaining time it takes for Jimin to get back to him scalding himself because Jimin isn’t his. Jimin is allowed to do whatever he likes and flirt with whoever wants. And if he decides to flirt with that man at the bar and then maybe bring him home? Well Taehyung will just have to swallow the nausea that’s steadily climbing up his throat and get on with it. He didn’t even know he liked Jimin like that until about 2 hours ago, it’s quite ridiculous to suddenly care about who he brings home.
But he does care, and if he’s being honest he feels a little cheated. Jimin kissed him, he practically confessed earlier. Or…oh fuck, what if he has completely misunderstood everything. Maybe Jimin stopped the kiss earlier because he thought Taehyung liked him and he didn’t want to hurt him. He must have caught on to his feelings way before Taehyung even realised it himself. How mortifying, how long has he known? Taehyung can never show his face again, he—
“Got us free drinks,” and suddenly Jimin is right there in front of him carrying two drinks and two shots and looking incredibly pleased with himself. Taehyung comes crashing back into reality. He glances behind Jimin, still half expecting the man he was talking to to be there, but he’s not; Taehyung wonders if he should be concerned by how relieved he feels.
“You okay?” Jimin asks loudly, shouting over the noise, frowning at Taehyung’s lack of reaction to his hoard.
“Yeah, sorry” he shouts back, plastering on a smile and grabbing his share of the drinks off Jimin. “Thanks!” He takes the shot immediately and follows it with a huge swig of his drink. Sated, Jimin takes his shot too and then leads them both back through the crowd.
Taehyung can feel the shot working quickly through his system because soon enough he stops caring about the people pushing into him sloshing drink onto his hand, and eventually he even stops worrying about Jimin and the flirting and the unwarranted jealousy too.
They’ve pushed their way to the corner of the room where there’s a slight gap in the mass of bodies around them. Taehyung’s not sure who starts it this time but before long they’re grinding on each other again. Jimin’s hips roll up against his ass, and his hand - flat against Taehyung’s stomach - pushes and guides him down and back. Taehyung lets his body melt into Jimin’s, and he closes his eyes allowing himself to be led.
“Everyone’s watching you,” Jimin whispers hotly into his ear. Taehyung shivers, worked up and turned on by the thought of it regardless of whether or not it’s actually true.
“I can’t even be mad,” Jimin concedes, voice low “look at you.” Taehyung’s breath catches.
He’s pretty sure Jimin has him up against a wall shortly after that, mouthing at his neck, but his memory is hazy with alcohol so he can’t be sure.
-
Somewhere after 2AM Taehyung’s memory comes back to him and they’re stumbling out of the club to order a taxi home. Jimin – the slightly more sober of the two – orders it, and they sit down on the curb outside the club while they wait. Jimin turns to face Taehyung, resting his cheek against his knee, smiling at him. Taehyung can’t read him. All he knows is that he’s drunk and Jimin is so pretty and so confusing and way too much. He doesn’t know what to do with it.
“Pretty” he mumbles in the end, tongue loose and guard down.
“Hm?”
“You’re pretty.”
Jimin smiles again, in that weird way that Taehyung doesn’t recognise, like he’s distracted, like he doesn’t mean it. “You're pretty too Taehyung-ah”.
“Not like you” Taehyung can hear the words slurring as they come out and he thinks he’s probably doing this all wrong. Jimin just shakes his head, that same confusing smile stuck on his face. He wants to ask him what it means but then the taxi arrives and the moment passes.
-
It doesn’t take long to get back to Taehyung’s house. Once there, and with exhaustion hanging heavy on his limbs, they climb the stairs to his bedroom where Jimin hands him a makeup wipe that he just about manages to coax him into using.
They’re silent as they get unready, neither of them sure what to say to the other. At some point Jimin takes a phone call in another room and it takes all of Taehyung’s willpower to not ask who the hell is calling at almost 3am.
When he returns Taehyung is picking out pyjamas for them both.
“Which ones do you want?” he asks, holding up two pairs of plaid pyjama pants.
“That was Hoseok” Jimin says awkwardly, playing with the hem of his shirt, “he’s— um… managed to pull the boyfriend card and persuade Yoongi to come and pick him up from the party he’s at, he asked if I wanted a lift back too?”
“You can stay here” Taehyung offers, the idea of Jimin leaving making panic rise like bile in his throat.
Jimin gives him a look, “Tae” he sighs. He looks sad, Taehyung can’t tell what’s going on in Jimin’s head and he hates it.
“Cuddle before you go?” he whispers instead of crying like he wants to. He climbs into bed, desperate for any piece of his best friend he can still get before everything is ruined. It’s pathetic really but he’s so beyond caring at this point. Especially when Jimin heeds his request and slips into bed behind him, sliding an arm under him and wrapping it tight around his waist. He manages a real smile then, and falls asleep to the feeling of Jimin stroking his side and pressing soft kisses to the back of his head.
He doesn’t wake until the night is well and truly over and Jimin is well and truly gone.