Chapter Text
That was all Shane could muster the courage to say to Ilya over text.
He was sitting at his desk in his neat bedroom, genuinely terrified after going down a pregnancy scare rabbit hole.
The Instagram reel his algorithm had decided to show him left him feeling shell shocked.
“Man, girls are so lucky they get periods” a guy started talking the second Shane swiped on the next reel with his thumb.
“They can KNOW if they might be pregnant." the same guy continued. "I didn’t know until it was too late to get the abortion pill”
Shane didn’t know how any of that worked. It never occurred to him that maybe this applied to him too.
He ended up looking up YouTube videos. Even checking Quora. Every site gave him the same answer - since he didn’t have periods, he couldn’t know without having a test done.
He absolutely couldn't let his mother find out he was even thinking about it. His mother watched him like a hawk and micro managed every aspect of his life.
There was no way he could ask to go to the doctor alone without her noticing. And there was no way she wouldn’t check what he was getting at the pharmacy. She still believed he was vulnerable to trying to experiment with “strange supplements”.
Ilya texted back.
He even double texted.
Shane didn’t know what to say. He could have seen Ilya in class in the morning or even at hockey practice after. But something in him wouldn’t let him rest or get back to his stupid assignment until he knew he had a backup plan.
Shane texted back.
Ilya squinted at the text. He closed the shabby door to his room and decided to call Shane. His father didn’t really care about who he talked to that much, but he didn’t want his older brother to be all up in his business.
Shane’s phone startled him when it actually started ringing. He knew he wanted to see Ilya, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to actually pick up and talk to him yet. He felt so overwhelmed by the entire situation.
What if he was actually pregnant like the Instagram guy? He needed to get tested to be sure, right?
Shane felt himself spiraling. What if Ilya simply didn’t care and decided to block his number and ignore him at school and at hockey practice?
Would his mother find out if he tried to do anything about this?
Maybe the clinic still kept everything related to teenagers over 18 confidential, but his mother would probably find out somehow. And the NHL would definitely have access to his medical records when he tried to get drafted after graduating.
Shane picked up but couldn’t bring himself to say anything yet.
“Hollander?” Ilya’s voice came from the other end of the line.
Shane’s heart was pounding in his chest. For a second he wondered if he had just made the whole thing up. The idea of there being an actual risk to whatever they had been doing sounded fake when it was time to actually say it out loud. Saying it out loud felt real.
“H-hey. Ilya…”
His voice was shaking. And he knew Ilya could tell.
“Hollander you are having panic attack." Ilya exclaimed while standing in the middle of his room. "What is happening at 8 o clock?”
Ilya knew that Shane’s family and his entire life at home were… not stressful to say the least. He couldn’t imagine what Shane might be worrying about. His parents encouraged and supported him as best as they could.
Ilya didn’t get to enjoy that kind of support at home.
His father was constantly yelling about how Ilya wasn’t making money from a part-time afterschool job like his brother did when he was his age. How he was wasting his time playing sports and chasing athletic scholarships at private schools when sooner or later a single injury could render him useless and make him a burden to the family.
Ilya mainly kept it to himself.
And he kept it to himself because he knew Shane wouldn’t be able to relate and wouldn’t know what to say. There was nothing Shane could say that would fix his situation at home. So he just enjoyed Shane’s company. It was a nice distraction from his reality and made him happy.
“Can you please just get the car and come over?” Shane said in one breath as he exhaled. "I don't want to talk about this over the phone."
“Okay” Ilya said. “Maybe.”
Ilya hung up and left his room. Asking his father for the car keys so late at night was probably not the best idea. He knew he would trap himself in another tirade where his father lectured him about how if he has time to take the car this late then he probably has the time to work.
Ilya went to his older brother instead.
“Lyosha-” Ilya started as he opened the door to his brother’s room to talk to him in their native language “Do you have the car keys?”
Alexei looked up from his wooden computer desk, where he was smoking a cigarette and watching something on his computer.
“Why do you want the keys Ilyusha? Going out to fuck some Canadian whores?”
Ilya couldn’t tell if his brother was making fun of him or scolding him. Or maybe his brother was just joking around.
“You know," his brother continued "when I was in school the girls had to wait until I was done working.”
Maybe it was a mix of all 3.
Ilya sighed and tried to be as non-confrontational as possible so he could get to Shane. Shane, who was his only escape from this family that clearly hated him and just wanted him to start earning money for them.
Shane, who lived a careless life and just had to focus on getting good grades and being good at hockey. Shane, whose mother made delicious dinner and warmly invited Ilya to eat with them whenever he came over to Shane's house.
“It’s for school. I need to get some things.” Ilya sighed. “I can’t play around or I will lose my scholarship.” that still came out a little confrontational even though Ilya was trying to sound as casual as possible.
Alexei threw the keys at him.
“Thank you.” Ilya said as damage control. “I will be back soon.”
Ilya went out quietly to avoid having to interact with his father and got in the car. He pulled out his phone and texted Shane.
Ilya put the phone down and started the car. He looked in the rear view mirror and backed out of the parking lot. He caught a glimpse of the back seat and suddenly remembered how it was so easy for them to just park the car somewhere and stay in the back seat for as long as they wanted when the weather was warmer…
But it was cold out now. He imagined just talking in the car in the middle of winter wouldn't be that much fun. Still, maybe he would still get some decent alone time with Shane if he comforted him through another crisis of thinking he might be gay or whatever was on his mind tonight.
Maybe he was an asshole for thinking that though.
But even if Shane was having a panic attack, it wouldn’t be the first time Ilya had wiped tears off Shane’s face and kissed him with the door to Shane’s room locked.
“God knows what this is going to be now”. Ilya thought to himself.
He contemplated lighting a cigarette as he drove out of his immigrant neighborhood and towards Shane’s suburb. But he also knew that Shane would complain about how he shouldn’t smoke and how he doesn’t like tasting the cigarettes on him.
Shane’s neighborhood looked nice and Ilya always felt like he stood out when he drove there with his dad’s car. This specific Wednesday night was no exception.
He parked in front of Shane’s home and texted him.
He took his seatbelt off and leaned back in the driver's seat so he could wait for Shane more comfortably.