Chapter Text
You had first joined camp a year ago, you could remember it quite clearly, the stress of getting there, the relief of finding out you were safe. But you also remember how even there you didn’t quite fit in, it took you a few weeks to make friends, perhaps the fact you were unclaimed for most of those weeks didn’t help. But soon after you were claimed by Nemesis you quickly became closer to your siblings, they weren’t many but they were family. It was nice finally belonging somewhere, and your siblings had been there for you many time. After that socializing with the other campers became much easier.
You were pulled out of your reminiscing trance as someone knocked on the door of your cabin. The summer had barely started and not many people were already at camp except the yearly resident. You opened the door, you weren’t expecting one of your siblings because they wouldn’t have knocked, still it was quite the surprise when you found yourself face to face with Clarisse La Rue. You wouldn’t label your relationship as hostile but you wouldn’t call it friendship either.
“Hey,” you started, unsure but still smiling at her.
“I heard you were back from school early this summer,” Clarisse started, the faintest hint of shyness in her voice even more strikingly obvious compared to her usual cocky confident self. She seemed to notice as well as she suddenly continued, “You’re sparing with me tonight,” voice firm, it wasn’t necessarily an order, you both knew she couldn’t force you to spare with her and it most definitely wasn’t her plan to do so if she was telling you this.
“Yeah okay, but take it slow on me, I’m a little rusty.”
You saw her face lighten up just a little as she nodded and walked away after giving you a time and place for the meeting. You got back to what you were doing before she interrupted you which was unpacking your stuff as you remembered how you had ended up in Camp Half-blood. You’re mind wandered for a while, until it focused on Clarisse, she had been the witness to your mother claiming you as her child the year prior. You’d been trying to protect a child from her, having had enough of her bullying. One thing after another you had awakened some powers. You had made Clarisse and her siblings lose their balance, and you were able to have a fair fight with the daughter of Ares. You didn’t win, well to be fair none of you won, but she would have kicked your ass if it hadn’t been for the broken wheel floating above your head. Nemesis claiming you stopped the fight. Clarisse knew that your mother was watching, and she knew she didn’t stand a chance if your mother intervened. After that Clarisse’s bullying considerably softened, she was still harsh and was doing her best to intimidate everyone, but the violence she used to assert her dominance had died down. You still weren’t sure why, perhaps you were hoping that you were the reason for that change. But you never let yourself think about it for too long, after all you were happy with her change of attitude regardless.
***
Dinner came, you ate alone, none of your siblings had come back and you didn’t feel like trying to fit at another table. Once your offering was burnt you made your way to the meeting spot you and Clarisse had agreed on. She joined you not long after and you both decided to practice hand-to-hand combat. It wasn’t the first time you’d spare together, she had asked you a few times before and you had always agreed, seeing it as an opportunity to learn. You had become accustomed to each other’s fighting style. But you hadn’t been able to practice at all this year, and Clarisse seemed to have taken martial art lessons. As a child of Nemesis close combat was your forte, martial arts came somewhat naturally to you, but Clarisse had trained. And after a few minutes of high kicks, countered punches and such, she had you down on the floor, face against the dirt, hands pinned behind you.
“Gods, how much did you train?” you asked as she helped you get up.
“Enough, apparently,” she said with a proud smile, not mocking though, you could tell she surprisingly wasn’t making fun of you. She was just proud of herself.
You spared again and again, she let you get a few moves in but you knew she was doing it intentionally. You switched to spear fighting after a while, until you were both sweaty and exhausted.
You hit the communal shower together. Gods you hated communal showers. Yes, each shower was separated with some wood planks and a door but it still wasn’t as private as a bathroom. You took your time showering, letting the hot water soothe your muscles knowing they would be hurting the next day. When you got out you were met with Clarisse drying her hair in front of one of the mirrors. You set your toiletries on the side of the sink next to hers and started working on your nightly routine, teeth brushing, moisturizing and so on. Next to you, Clarisse was braiding her still damp hair,
“Thank you for asking me to spare with you, I really need to get back in shape I haven’t had a chance to train during the rest of the year,” you say, gaze meeting hers in her mirror. It felt really odd sharing such a domestic moment together with her without any other sound or commotion caused by other campers.
Clarisse simply smiled as she looked back at what her hands were doing in her hair. “Yeah you do need more training, I was almost about to take pity on you today.”
You chuckled as you started brushing your teeth. Clarisse was really showing a softer side that night, even if she was still teasing you, and you were enjoying it a bit too much.
“We could make this a regular thing if you wanted,” she said nonchalantly, her gaze not leaving her hands.
You tilted your hair to the side, toothbrush still inside your mouth.
“Training I mean,” Clarisse added.
You spat your toothpaste down the sink before answering that you’d be glad to train with her if she was willing to take the time for it. She simply nodded and turned her head away to try and see the hair she was weaving into a braid on the back of her head. You could have sword you saw her lips twitch into a smile as she turned away from you.
You both continued to get ready for bed in silence. Eventually you finished before her, her braids were immaculate, but they took so much time, you were impressed by her patience, you didn’t know she was capable of it but then again you didn’t know that much about her. You packed your stuff and wished her goodnight before walking to your cabin.
You didn’t sleep very well, sleeping alone in your room at home was fine but the cabin was huge for one person, and it felt so empty without anyone else.
***
The next days were a bit of a blur, with nothing much to do Clarisse had insisted on trying to teach you how to use a spear. Turns out you were pretty good at it and soon reached her level of accuracy and strength. You also received a few letters from your siblings, weirdly enough they were all basically saying the same thing: ‘I won’t be coming to camp this summer but don’t worry I’m still alive!’.
You were a bit saddened by the news, realizing you were about spend the summer in your cabin alone, but nevertheless you were relived they were all alive and well, even if it was a bit odd of them to all coincidentally decide not to come this year.
You spend some time with the kids from cabin 9, helping them in the forge whenever you could even if you couldn’t do much more than making sure they were all hydrated. They invited you at their table during lunch and dinner which you were very grateful for and overall were really nice to you.
Sometimes you would catch Clarisse looking at you during those meals. You’d be a hypocrite to try and call her behavior weird because the reason you’d catch her so often was because you’d also look at her.
Your sparing sessions had become a new routine at this point, you had finally been able to catch up with her, and the fighting had become much more intense.
One evening as you were practicing hand-to-hand combat, Clarisse managed to pin you down after a good hour of fighting, she had beaten you thank to her endurance.
“Good fight,” she said out of breath, not letting you go yet. You were lying on your back, hips immobilized by Clarisse’s weight, her legs resting on each side of you, she was straddling you. Your wrists were pinned above your head, her grip strong, unyielding.
Your gaze met hers, you were both breathing heavily. You didn’t fight to escape her grasp. She didn’t seem ready to get off you yet. You stayed like this until your breathing started evening out. Coming back to her senses Clarisse let go of your wrists which you immediately rubbed, you hadn’t noticed how hard she had been holding them, but it was now clear she had cut your blood circulation, you’d definitely get mean bruises the next day.
“Sorry,” she said her voice a bit strangled. You thought you might have imagined it, Clarisse might have been nicer to you but there was no way she was apologizing for anything. But the way she looked slightly guilty as she rushed to get off you and help you get up let you know she might have actually said it.
“It’s okay, it’s part of the game. I’ve had worse,” you tried to reassure her with a soft smile, but her eyes were locked on your reddened joints as she nodded mindlessly.
“I’m gonna go I have to help with something in my cabin,” she said suddenly and left without turning back. You looked at her form until she was out of sight, stunned.
***
Clarisse avoided hand-to-hand combat for the next week. Which opened the gates to your overthinking. You started observing her even more, noticing how different she was acting with the other campers. You noticed the glances she was stealing when you were getting out of the shower right after her, you noticed the way she’d always get closer to you when she was teasing you, which she didn’t do with anyone else. You enjoyed the time you spent with her, perhaps more than you should have. You found yourself relishing the attention she gave you. And you wanted to know more about her, more than her fighting skills, more than her defense strategies.
So one day, as you were about to have your now daily spare session together, you found yourself asking if she wanted to have some sort of sleepover in your cabin.
“Since none of my siblings are here, I have the whole cabin to myself,” you explained, trying to act casual like your heart rate hadn’t gone up.
Clarisse looked a little stunned at your proposal but agreed to it with the same nonchalance as you.
That night when you finished your evening routine in the communal showers, you waited for her to finish as well. You watched as she weaved her hair into braids as she usually would.
“You’re really good at that,” you noted. Clarisse hummed in confusion. “The braiding I mean, they look so neat.”
“Practice makes perfect,” she answered simply, but you noticed her finger’s clumsy movements, messing up her braid. She grumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed as she undid the whole braid to start over.
Once her braids were done you both walked to your cabin.
“It’ll be nice having somewhere calm to sleep for once,” Clarisse broke the awkward silence that had settled between you two as you walked past the doors. “I love my siblings but sometimes it can get a little… crowded.”
You chuckled. “Imagine Hermes’ cabin.”
You decided to bring two beds closer to make it cozier. Once everything was in place and lights were slightly dimmed, you two settled in bed, the silence heavy and awkward.
“It’s so empty here these days,” you whispered after some time. “It almost feels… cold sometimes.”
Clarisse turned on her side to face you. “I get it, sometimes when I come back home from camp it feels odd having my own room, my own space without anyone else’s noise.”
You hummed thoughtfully. “What do you like to do when you’re back home?”
The daughter of Ares looked slightly surprised at your question but she answered nonetheless. She explained she trained a lot in her free time, she had taken a liking to martial arts recently, which explained how she had kicked your ass so easily at the start of the summer. You chatted for a while, about hobbies and other things. You had a great time. Eventually you turned the lights off to sleep.
***
The next day you woke up to the sun peeking through the windows, you’d forgotten to close the curtains the night before. You looked next to you and found Clarisse, still asleep, face turned in your direction. Her features looked so soft, softer than you’d ever seen them be. Her breaths were deep and slow, her mouth slightly open, you could see the tiniest trace of drool on her lips. She was adorable, there was no denying that. You thought about your evening together, how much she shared with you about her personal life. You couldn’t help but wonder if she had ever been so open to anyone else, it didn’t seem like a thing she’d do. You stared at her sleeping form for a while, enjoying your privilege. After a while you decided it was creepy of you to be looking at her as she slept. You quickly dressed closed the curtains, hopefully letting Clarisse sleep some more. You grabbed a book, and sat back on your bed, turning on your lamp on your bedside table and dimming it so it was barely bright enough for you to be able to read.
Hours passed, you would glance at Clarisse’s form every now and then, making sure she was still breathing, it seemed so unlike her to sleep for so long. She did end up waking up after a while, grumbling incomprehensible things as she rubbed her eyes.
“Morning,” you said softly and asked something that vaguely resembled ‘what time is it?’. “About 11 am,” you answered which made Clarisse’s eyes go wide.
“Fuck I slept for so fucking long,” she said as she sat up.
“You aren’t a heavy sleeper usually, are you?” you asked as she stretched, you tried to tear your gaze away, but she looked ethereal like this, braids not nearly as neat as they had been the night before, face still puffy from sleep.
“No, I’m usually woken up by my siblings and if I’m at home I’m much too tense to let myself sleep for that long.” She then yawned, still not quite fully woken up. “I can’t remember the last time I had such a good night of sleep,” she said mostly to herself.
“Maybe that’s why you slept for so long, you really needed it.”
You both got ready for the day, you turned around to give her some privacy as she changed. She unbraided her hair as you talked.
“It was nice having someone here last night, thank you for that,” you smiled.
“I should be the one thanking you, are you sure you’re not a child of Hypnos or something? I feel so rested.”
You chuckled, you were glad she had slept so well. She seemed so at ease with you then, you couldn’t quite believe it. Once you were ready you tried to be as discreet as you could when you got out. Sleepovers weren’t necessarily forbidden but they weren’t really allowed either.
You spent the rest of the day in the forge, keeping the campers company, fetching them some water every now and then. You couldn’t keep Clarisse out of your head though. You had spent so many hours together and yet you couldn’t help but wish you were spending time with her instead of what you were doing.
You had your daily training session with her that evening, and as you once again showered at the same time you tuned out all reasonable thoughts and asked. “Do you want to want to sleep over again tonight?"
“Oh, are you sure you’re okay with me coming?” she answered.
You looked at her confused. “Yeah, why would I ask you if I wasn’t sure?”
Clarisse shrugged. You weren’t sure where that sudden doubt was coming from.
“You don’t have to feel like you have come you know?” you added, worried she was feeling pushed to sleep over.
“I know. I don’t do things I don’t want to do,” she said harshly. You were a little stunned, already unused to Clarisse’s commanding tone. She noticed your discomfort and her breath hitched ever so slightly. “I do want to come, yesterday was nice,” she added in a softer manner.
You nodded, packed up your toiletries and waited for her to finish. On the way to Nemesis’ cabin Clarisse looked like her mind was elsewhere. For a second you worried it might have been because she didn’t actually want to sleep over but shut up that insecure voice in your mind. She said she wanted to, you needed to trust her on that. You settled just like you had the night before, this time surrounded by an uncomfortable silence. Clarisse wasn’t very good with words, you had caught onto that, but even her attitude was weird. She laid down on her back and looked at the bottom of the top bunk of her bed. After a few minutes she huffed and suddenly got up. You looked at her, confused but her gaze didn’t meet yours as she pushed her bed even closer to yours until her mattress was flush against yours. She climbed back into her bed and finally turned to look at you. You knew you looked as confused as you felt, still Clarisse didn’t explain anything so you decided to just be okay with it.
“I think tomorrow we should train sword fighting,” you attempted to break the silence which made Clarisse’s shoulder drop a little, like some tension left her body.
“Gods no, I hate that,” she grumbled but you could see a soft smile on her lips.
“I know but we could both use the extra training.”
The conversation was easier then, you both relaxed into it, laughing together. Gods you couldn’t remember if she had ever laughed in your presence before. You loved the sound of it. She asked a few questions about you, what music did you listen to, what subject you were good at and so on, until you were both too sleepy to go on.
***
The next morning you noticed you had forgotten to close those fucking curtains again as the sunlight woke you up. But you couldn’t stay upset for too long once you noticed Clarisse’s arm around your middle. She was still fast asleep, face buried in her pillow. Her hands was slightly twitching against your lower back, she might have been dreaming. You weren’t sure what to do, well, you knew what you should do, you should get her arm off you gently and act casual if she woke up, but you didn’t want to get her arm off. You were enjoying the weight of it, the warmth it radiated. You tried going back to sleep, unsuccessfully. You felt her shift next to you, her hand gently gripping your shirt at the same time. She sighed in her sleep, and you relaxed again. You bit your tongue, trying not to freak out at the cuteness of it all. Even if you couldn’t fall back asleep, you let yourself lie there, enjoying a lazy morning.
At some point Clarisse woke up, she saw you were awake and for a second you thought she’d pull away like you had burned her, you were already trying to figure out what explanation you’d give her. But she didn’t pull away, she smiled a lazy sleepy kind of smile, and your heart skipped a beat. So many things were happening in your head, you were confused, happy, freaked out, all at once.
“I sleep so well in here, what kind of witchcraft is this?” she mumbled which made you chuckle. “Did I bother you during the night? I had no idea I was a…” she thought for a second before continuing, “sleep cuddler,” she said the word with such a face, like she was ever so slightly disgusted. You couldn’t help but laugh.
“No it’s okay, I don’t mind,” you answered simply.
You didn’t know it yet, but that very morning was only to tip of the iceberg of Clarisse’s clinginess. And the fact you hadn’t rejected her touch had unleashed something in her.
***
The next days were… interesting to say the least. She would seek your presence more often, asking you to sit at her table for meals and stealing you away from the forge. She became increasingly tactile, often wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You could see the confused gaze of her siblings on you both sometimes, because Clarisse wasn’t like that with anyone else. She didn’t sleep over every night, but on those nights you would still wait for her to finish her after shower braids anyways, then you’d walk her back to her cabin and wish her goodnight. You would be a liar if you said you didn’t enjoy those new developments in your relationship. You were still adjusting to them, but they felt right.
You soon learned she had become much more protective as well, practically jumping at your opponent’s throat when they had dared to try to harm you during capture the flag. It was part of the game but apparently Clarisse didn’t care. That evening you managed to pin her down in hand-to-hand combat, you were straddling her hips, hands pinning her wrists down. The position felt oddly familiar. You were smiling victoriously before you noticed her smirking. She suddenly pushed her hips up with so much force you lost your balance and she exchanged your position.
“Nice try sweetheart,” she purred and you might have just died right then and there.
You must have been making a weird face because her smirk dropped and she almost looked sad for a split second. She got off you and commanded you try again. You did as you were told mindlessly, the word she had used playing over and over in your head. You weren’t focused and soon you were on the ground again in the same position as before. Clarisse observed you for a second, seemingly trying to understand what was going on in your mind but not asking anything. You didn’t squirm out of her grasp, staying put as you made eye contact. She sighed and let your wrists free, looking away.
“It’s too easy when you’re distracted,” she whined which reminded you of a pouting child. You found that side of her endearing.
“Sorry… I think we should stop for the night though I’m exhausted,” you thought this would lead to her getting up from your lap, but she stayed put. She had apparently decided she liked it there. “You… want to sleep over tonight?” you tried.
That seemed to wake her up, she agreed and got off you before helping you up.
After your regular shower routine, you both headed to your cabin, pushing two beds together as you usually would. You had done all this in a mostly comfortable silence but now that you were in bed and that your brain was still looping that ‘sweetheart’ it started feeling awkward. Clarisse wasn’t the chattiest of the two of you but she felt too silent for your comfort.
You were fidgeting with the edge of the bandage on your hand, the one you’d gotten after your opponent slashed you with their sword during capture the flag. Clarisse looked at your movements, letting out an irritated huff. She took your hands to stop them from moving.
“Don’t play with it, you’ll take it off and it’ll get infected,” she said firmly. You could only watch as she smoothed the edge of your bandages. She kept your bandaged hand in hers once she was done. “Goodnight,” she whispered, knowing you’d both be incapable of having a proper conversation that night.
You turned the lights off with your free hand and wished her goodnight. She softly squeezed your hand before letting it go and shuffling under the cover to try and find a comfortable position.
You struggled to fall asleep, overthinking the events of the evening. You guessed that Clarisse was sleeping well though, he breaths even and deep. You were wondering whether you should give up on sleep and read a book when the girl next to you took a deeper breath and moved. She draped an arm around your middle, making you tense, but it was apparently not enough for her subconscious because as soon as she understood there was something in bed with her she pulled it closer to her body and cradled it. The it being you. Your face was pressed against her clavicle, her strong arms embracing you. Her breathing evened out again. Your body was tense, your mind and heart racing. One of your arms was floating above her body, you were unsure of what to do with it. After a good minute of deliberating you delicately let your arm down, wrapping it around her waist.
You let your mind wander, since sleep wasn’t an option anymore. You thought about how much affection you had for her, about how she had been acting lately. You thought maybe, maybe she felt similarly about you as you felt about her. But you too scared to let yourself hope. It was difficult trying to understand how she felt about anything. She spoke with her actions more than her words, and her actions were ever so slightly confusing. Although, you had noticed she had been making a lot of effort lately, trying to voice out what she meant when you looked utterly confused sometimes.
You were unsure for how long you just held onto each other that way, until Clarisse woke up. You could tell by how her breath hitched and her muscles tensed. But she didn’t move, probably trying to make sure you were asleep. The lack of sleep making you feel brave you gently started stroking her back with your hand which made her take a deep breath. She slowly embraced you closer, giving you time to protest, to pull away, but you only pressed yourself closer. Your mind was boiling up with questions, fear, and insecurities. What did this mean? How aware was she? What did this mean?
“You’re very comfy,” she muttered, voice raspy.
“You too,” you whispered voice slightly strangled.
She hummed and let her face rest on the top of your head. “Good, cuz this is nice.”
You thought you might have fallen asleep without noticing, because this had to be a dream. But the weight of her arms around you felt real, her scent, her breathing, her back under your fingers, all of It felt real. You felt her shift to get comfortable, one of her legs resting on top of yours, her hand resting flat against your back.
“Night,” she mumbled before falling back asleep.
You were stunned, how was any of it real? After a good few minutes of freaking out you focused on her breathing, trying to make yours match hers until you relaxed, tension leaving your body as sleep finally found you.
When you woke up you could see a ray of light peeking under the curtains, which were closed, it had eventually become one of your nightly routines to close them and you didn’t forget anymore. You could feel Clarisse’s breath on your neck, she was embracing you from behind, her legs tangled with yours.
“Morning,” she mumbled so close you could feel her lips graze against your skin. You startled a bit, you hadn’t realized she was awake.
“Morning,” you answered, hoping she couldn’t feel your heartbeat.
You relaxed again, unsure of what to do. You turned around, Clarisse let go of you thinking you were pulling away. But when you settled back, now facing her she smiled lazily and let her arm rest around you again. You looked at her, the dim light was enough for you to be able to distinguish her smile.
“Clarisse?” you said softly and she hummed as a response. “What- does this… does this mean anything to you?” you asked hesitantly.
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
You motioned the two of you. “This.”
She looked at you for a moment, like she was trying to understand how to find the right words. You were staring to get fidgety at her silence. Maybe you shouldn’t have asked, maybe this was meant to be the last time this would happen because she would be too uncomfortable being close to you again. Maybe-
Her voice interrupted your anxious thoughts. “Yes.”
You lifted your head to meet her eyes. “What?”
She looked away and mumbled. “You heard me.”
You observed her for a second, she seemed to be avoiding your gaze. “It means something to me too… “
That made her finally look at you. You stayed still for a while, just contemplating each other. You reached for her, wrapping your arms around her and scooting closer. You heard her breath hitch as her arms held you tighter against her. You stayed like this until it was time to get up.
Things became… different after that. You couldn’t exactly call what had happened communication, you didn’t know what it meant to her but you know it meant something. And so your sleepovers became a daily thing. As did the cuddles. Your sparing sessions were… more on the tense side not because they had become more intense physically, but because of the emotional turmoil they were causing. But I was so worth it if it meant you’d get to hear her raspy voice in the morning. She was surprisingly chatty when she was sleepy. Well, you wouldn’t necessarily call her half incomprehensible speeches chatting, but you hadn’t heard her put so many words on after the other at any other occasions.
“Sneak out of camp with me tonight,” she suggested one day, voice heavy with sleep but clear enough to let you know she was serious.
***
And that’s how you ended up on the beach later that day. The sun was about to set, which made you wonder if Clarisse had chosen that time on purpose. You sat next to each other on a fallen tree trunk, Clarisse scooting closer to you as she decided you had sat too far away. She took your hand in hers and let her head rest on your shoulder. You both watched the sunset in silence until the sky barely had any color left.
“You know… you know I’m not exactly good… with words,” she broke the silence. “But… there’s something we need to talk about, something I want to tell you.”
You hummed and squeezed her hand in yours to encourage her.
“I’m in love with you,” she said firmly. “I… fuck it,” she huffed, frustrated with herself. She lifted her head from your shoulder. “I’m shit at talking really but I want you to know how much you fucking mean to me, how much I- how much I fucking love spending time with you.” She opened her mouth but said nothing as she searched for her words. “I know I’m… not always the easiest person to get along with but you… you never made me feel like I was too much to handle.” She stopped talking then, like she had run out of words.
You we speechless, not only did she have feelings for you but she had made the effort to speak them out loud even if she wasn’t good at voicing things out loud. After a few seconds of silence, she turned to you, waiting for you to say something, anything. But words wouldn’t come to you, so you leaned in kissed her. It was more of a touch of lips than an actual kiss. But it got the point across. Clarisse smiled when you pulled away.
“Our roles are exchanged today, you had me speechless,” you said softly and she laughed, wrapping an arm around your waist. You leaned into her touch and continued. “I’m most definitely in love with you too.”
Clarisse smiled and brought your hand to her mouth to press a tender kiss on it. You could tell she was pleased, maybe even proud. She leaned in and kissed you firmly, hands traveling to your cheeks. You own hands found their way around her neck, pressing her closer with a hum. Her skin was hot under your fingertips, and you could feel the edge of her hair line. Clarisse pulled away to breathe, linking your foreheads so you wouldn’t get too far. She looked at you and you looked at her, but the angle made it all so silly you couldn’t help but giggle. She looked slightly surprised for a second before deciding you were way too adorable for your own good. She chuckled and pressed a few kisses on your cheeks.
“Thank you for taking me here tonight,” you whispered once you two had calmed down.
“Thank you for coming with me,” she answered simply.
That night in your cabin you held Clarisse in your arms anxiety free, knowing that you were on the same page. And she somehow had gotten even clingier, wrapping her entire body around you almost like a koala. You stroked her hair which she had decided to only tie in a ponytail that night.
“Will you teach me how to braid your hair sometimes?” you asked. She let out a tired ‘why?’. “I just want to do it for you, so you don’t have to do it yourself,” you answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Clarisse, who had never been the object of such affection ever, was a bit stunned. “Okay, I’ll teach you.”
She looked at your face, you seemed so pleased by her answer. She pressed a soft kiss to your jaw because she needed to express the surge of love she suddenly felt. You relished in her affection, one of your hands gently stroking her back between her trapeziuses. She shuddered at the touch, resting her head on your shoulder, eyes closing as she hummed. You had found a sweet spot, she was almost melting in your arms.
“Feels good right there?” you asked as you used your index to softly rub against the spot.
Clarisse hummed and nuzzled her face against your shoulder excitedly. She pressed her body even closer to yours. Her attitude reminded you so much of a puppy, which in a way was to be expected, dogs were often associated with Ares due to their loyalty. You kept caressing her back until you felt all her muscles relax completely. Her breath was even and deep against your neck. You lied awake for a while, bathing in the warmth of her. You don’t really know what came over you, but you started a little prayer in your mind. First to your mom, asking for her to extend some of her protection to Clarisse. Then to Aphrodite, thanking her for you and the girl lying with you. You weren’t sure if your prayers were heard, after all you hadn’t exactly done it the proper way. You’d do it someday, you’d burn offerings to make sure your prayers were heard. On these lovely thoughts, you fell asleep.
***
The next morning you woke up to Clarisse softly caressing your back, you were lying half on top of her.
“Morning darling,” she said, voice raspy.
You froze, you were only half awake and she was already making you dysfunction.
“Something wrong?” she asked when she saw you just looking at her, not saying anything.
“That’s the second time you call me…something sweet,” you said simply, face contorting into a small, tired frown.
You must have looked funny because Clarisse laughed. “What about it? You don’t like it?”
“No! I mean yes!” you said too quickly. Which made her laugh harder. You hid your face in your hands, not awake enough yet to deal with your embarrassment.
“I got what you meant don’t worry you’re pretty little head about it,” she mumbled, kissing the top of your head.
It was still odd to be the object of her affection like this, it was new, even if the feelings weren’t so recent.
As you got ready to go eat breakfast you wondered if you should talk about whether you’d let the others know, if you needed to hide or something of the sort. But Clarisse didn’t seem to be as hesitant as you, as soon as you were sat at her table she made sure to give you a deep and tender kiss as her siblings cheered. You were sure you heard a few ‘fucking finally’. That was such a Clarisse thing to do, not giving anyone the time to ponder, you were together and they would just have to accept it.
If you thought Clarisse was clingy before, you were wrong. She became an extension of your own body, always stuck to you. So much that her siblings would have to negotiate to get her to train with them. You enjoyed it, it was nice having someone by your side all the time, and you trusted her, which meant a lot. It means that she had your back and that you had hers. Having her close to you at all times was comforting then.
There were only two weeks left before the end of the summer, you were anxious about it, but you forced yourself not to think about it too much. You didn’t want your anxiety to ruin the last two weeks you had at camp with her.
***
“I usually do four but you can start with two, it’ll be easier,” Clarisse was sat on the floor of your cabin facing away from you as you sat on the bed, she was trying to teach you how to braid her hair. “You need to split my hair first, make sure all the parts are equal.”
It took you some time to get the parting right and even, but you managed. You knew how to braid so the next part wasn’t that hard, although maybe you struggled a bit with how much hair to add in the braid each time, you weren’t used to her hair. They weren’t unruly, though, you didn’t really think any hair type could truly be unruly, the problem was definitely the person handling the hair, not understanding its patterns and therefore messing it up. But you were determined not to be a problem, you would get used to her hair and you’d manage to weave her hair into 4 neat braids. You managed to get decent results on your first two braids and after a few days you were able to do good job at making the 4 braids Clarisse would usually do. She had been very patient with you, letting you take your time and undoing braids to redo them when you weren’t happy about what you’d done. She’d taken the habit of pushing herself between your legs as she sat on the floor, gently kissing your knee once you were finished.
You’d learned that Clarisse loved to do things for you, not because she thought you weren’t capable of doing them but because she loved doing things for you. In the same way you’d braid her hair every night. You swore you could almost see a nonexistent tail of hers wag when you asked her to do a tiny task for you, not because you needed her to but just because you wanted her to.
“Clarisse could you perhaps help me move this thing?” You obviously didn’t actually need help, you were strong enough on your own. But the way Clarisse smiled as she helped you push the piece of furniture you wanted to move, the way she’d look at her work proudly and wait for your ‘thank you’ kiss, it was enough to call her for help.
Overall, you two had gotten quite domestic over the weeks. And then less two weeks before you had to be separated, you started to wonder how you’d go on without her for months. Cellphones tended to attract monsters so you couldn’t even call each other, the only contact possible was through letters or an Iris message but those were expensive…
You weren’t supposed to think about it, you’d told yourself you wouldn’t. But as Clarisse rested half on top of you in your bed still sound asleep you couldn’t help yourself. You weren’t dependent, you knew you’d live if you didn’t see each other for a while, but you didn’t know how you’d handle a year. Mindlessly your fingers started stroking that one sweet spot on her back which woke her up with a soft groan.
“How the fuck do you make something so simple feel so fucking good,” she mumbled almost indistinctly.
You chuckled but your heart wasn’t in it, the remnants of your last worried thoughts still lingering in your mind. Clarisse, even if she was still groggy with sleep, noticed it.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” she asked, lifting her head to look at you.
“Nothing…”
“Liar,” she answered, taking your hand in hers to press a soft kiss to the back of it. “Come on you’re so tense right now,” she dropped you hand to gently stroke your side. “I can tell something’s wrong.”
You groaned as you tried to force your muscles to relax.
“It’s okay baby just talk to me yeah?” Clarisse said softly, she gently caressed your face.
You sighed. “I don’t want us to part ways at the end of the summer… I- I’ll miss you so much.”
She moved her legs so she would hold you in every way possible. “Me too. I’ll miss you so fucking much.”
You stayed silent for a moment, both enjoying each other’s warmth.
“Promise me you’ll send letters,” you asked, you were most definitely overthinking, already imagining she’d forget about you or not write half as much as you would.
Clarisse didn’t hesitate to answer, “I’ll write you every fucking day, can’t promise my letters will be that interesting though, I never really know what to say…”
You nodded, you were still worried things would fade until you were nothing again, but you could tell she was sincere. Right then as she spoke, she had the intention of sending you letters, everyday. Being a child of Nemesis you could sense more easily when someone was lying, and Clarisse was not a good liar period but it reassured you to have a tangible way to know she was serious.
“I love you,” you murmured so low you weren’t sure she’d hear you. You never did know when it was considered acceptable to say the L word in a relationship, you’d hear people say they waited three months, others said you should do it right away, it was just confusing. But you did love her and you wanted her to know, so you said it. It didn’t prevent you from being nervous though, ridiculously nervous.
She lifted her head from your chest once more. She had definitely heard you, she was way too close not to have heard. “I love you too,” she said softly before kissing you.
Your anxiety drowned in that kiss. You wrapped your arms around her neck to keep her there, if not forever then just for a little longer. You moved your lips against hers, trying to convey the relief, the love, the future longing you knew you’d feel. You loved her so much, much more than you thought you could ever love anyone.
***
The next days went by much too quickly. And before you knew it, it was time to say goodbye. You didn’t live in opposite sides of the country but the US was a pretty big place and living in a different state was already quite far. You stood next to her at the border of the barrier of camp. She squeezed your hand before dropping it to wrap her arms around your waist and pull you closer.
“Stop thinking so loudly,” she chuckled, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I was fucking serious when I said I’d write you letters every day, make up for the lack of phone calls.”
“Okay,” you muttered. “I’ll write you too, so much of it you won’t know what to do with all those letters.”
She smiled. Clarisse was gifted with the most beautiful smile you had ever seen. No one else could compare. “I’ll find something.”
You pressed yourself even closer to her and kissed her. It was a slow, tender kiss, you made it last for as long as you could.
“I’m gonna miss you to much,” she mumbled before closing the distance between your lips again.
You held each other for as long as you could, putting off the inevitable separation. But after a while you couldn’t put it off any more. And so you said your goodbyes, and each left for your own home. It was tragic how quickly you’d broken apart and left but you knew you would have both clung to one another if you hadn’t acted fast. It was like ripping a band-aid.
***
You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t sat down to write your first letter as soon as you had gotten home. You felt a bit embarrassed about it until barely a two days letter you received a letter from Clarisse. You knew that postal compagnies were fast but you also knew that it meant she had probably mailed the letter on the same day you had mailed yours. It made you ridiculously giddy to know that she’d cared enough to write to you so soon. The content of the letter was nothing extremely exciting, she said she’d gotten home safe and hoped your trip back home had been as easy as hers. She asked how you were doing, and even drew a little heart after the question. Well, after the traced over shape which looked a tiny bit like a heart if you squinted. Had she hesitated to draw a heart or had she just not been happy with how her first heart looked, you didn’t know, but it made you smile anyway. She signed the letter with “Yours forever,” which warmed your heart. You tucked the letter in your bedside drawer, as you ended up storing all her letters throughout the weeks. You had received one letter a day like she promised, unless the post had been late, usually you’d get two letter the next day then. They were usually short and consisted of telling a bit about her day, asking a question or two, and she always left an ‘I love you’ somewhere.
***
It was during the month of October that you two had the genius idea of spending the winter holidays together. Her family wasn’t necessarily a festive one and she could easily leave for the holidays without upsetting anyone on her side. You two had organized her travel and you had told your parent you’d have a friend over for a few days during the winter festivities and they didn’t seem too bothered by it. You were very excited, and she seemed to be as well. Her letters became a bit longer then, telling you a bit more details about her daily experience. It wasn’t Shakespeare and you didn’t ask that of her but you were happy she was becoming more open with you, even through letters. You guessed it was easier talking through writing for some people, because it was less direct, the other person wasn’t standing there listening, you figured she felt less pressured and just let go of some restraint.
By November she had let you in on some more intimate thoughts. They were never fears of hers, you couldn’t blame her as a demigod she had been subjected to enough adversity to be weary of sharing her weaknesses. But she did share about some of her issues, such as how she missed her siblings, how sleeping had become increasingly difficult with the rising paranoia that always appeared outside of the boundaries of camp. You knew she didn’t fear monsters, she’d take them down easily and would bathe in the glory of it. But, you knew deep down that she didn’t get the thrill of killing and fighting monsters, she would most definitely deny it if anyone ever said that though. (She was the daughter of Ares after all, how could she not love the rush of adrenaline of killing anything?) But then you also knew she loved sparing, she loved martial arts and the respect that came with it. She loved controlled yet intuitive fighting, not ‘risk my life and honor’ fighting. Therefore that made her weary of having to be prepared to fight 24/7, because that’s what paranoia made it feel like. Like you could be attacked in your own home during the night, or as you showered.
You had your fair share of paranoia as well, sleeping with a celestial bronze dagger hidden between your mattress and the wall. You hoped that maybe you’d feel safer when Clarisse would be here, two fighters were worth more than one. You pushed away the very realist thought that you two being together in the same place meant you were much easier for monsters to trace. It didn’t matter, not if that meant Clarisse and you could reunite.
***
December finally came, the wait had been excruciatingly long for both of you, but it was finally over. Given the time you guessed Clarisse was about halfway there. You tried to keep yourself busy but this was THE event of your day so keeping busy was mostly made of distracting yourself with listening to music rather than actually being productive. Productivity was a capitalist lie anyway, one that you were glad didn’t apply to you that much as a demigod, although you still were experiencing the consequences of capitalism in other ways. You stopped your philo-politcs daydream when you saw the time, you were supposed to meet Clarisse at the train station in less than an hour and you still needed to pick up the little gift you had planned for her. You grabbed your things and left, you walked to the shop, bought your gift and you made your way to the train station. You waited until the big screens of the station showed which platform Clarisse’s train would stop at and hurried there despite the fact you still had some time. Her train finally arrived and you search for her through the wave of passengers getting off the train.
Finally, you spotted her, she was wearing a leather jacket and thick black cargo pants with combat boots. She really was her father’s daughter wasn’t she? You lips spread into a wide grin as you rushed to her. You were lucky enough to spot her first, so you were able to catch the exact moment she saw you, how hear face broke into a smile, eyes softening. You didn’t think about it to much right at that moment though as you both wrap your arms around each other. The reunion is wordless, it’s just the two of you grabbing at each other to keep you close. You had missed her beyond reason, you missed seeing her every day, you missed her laugh, her small acts of service. But also you missed her warmth, hers specifically. You nuzzled you face in her neck, appreciating the sigh she let out as you did. After you were both satisfied enough you pulled away ever so slightly, just enough not to look at each other cross-eyed.
“Hi,” you said softly.
“Hey,” she answered simply with the sweetest smile you’d ever seen on her face.
You let your eyes drown in hers for a few more seconds before you realized you were still holding her gift. You wondered how she hadn’t noticed it since your arms were around her and the present was slightly pressed against her back.
“Oh, I bought these for you,” you said as you untangled yourself from her to reveal a small bouquet of red tulips and ‘starfire’ phlox. “I thought… I wanted to do something nice for you since you always do nice things for me and you deserve the nicest things.” You internally cringed at many times you’d said the word ‘nice’ in a single sentence.
Clarisse had never received flowers, you knew she hadn’t because she had somewhat told you before you two had started dating when she’d talked about how she loved phlox flowers because they almost smelled spicy. She had mumbled something about always being the one gifting flowers and never receiving them.
“You…” she started but stopped as she studied the bouquet a bit closer noticing her favorite flowers among the tulips.
“Is this too much? Maybe it’s too much,” you worried.
“No! no it’s…” she grabbed the bouquet with a shy smile. “good, it’s really good.”
She leaned closer to press a tender kiss to your lips. When she pulled away she looked at the flowers in her hands like they were the most precious thing to ever exist. She was adorable. She seemed so soft with you, soft yet confident, it was Clarisse after all. But she didn’t need to keep the hard mask with you, you just made her comfortable enough to be a girl, not just a demigod, not just the daughter of Ares, but a girl in her late teenage years. She was still all those things of course, they were an inherent part of her, but she was also free to be whoever she wanted with you, and you could tell it made her more relaxed with you than anyone else, well at least anyone else than her siblings.
“Do they mean anything specific?” she asked and immediately you felt your face flush.
“erm well the- the red tulips are for eternal love and the phlox is for… durability of love,” you kept the information that phlox flowers were sometimes considered great marriage flowers, you didn’t need to go there, marriage was of the question for now. You didn’t even know if that was something demigods even did.
Clarisse pressed a smiley kiss to your cheeks and thanked you. You forced yourself out of your thoughts and you started making your way out of the train station. You held her hands as you made your way home, the feeling of her grip on you made the way back so different. As in yes you had crossed that road a thousand times before but now she was here, with you, her palm against yours a physical reminder that she was finally here, with you.
Once you arrived you gave her a tour and helped her unpack. She pulled out a small satin bag from her stuff, giving it to you.
“For you,” she said firmly but you could see she was a bit tense. You opened the bag and pulled out a necklace. You looked at her surprise before studying the charm. It was a decently sized wolf howling at the moon. It wasn’t dainty, it wasn’t fragile, it looked sturdy.
“I wanted to find a dog one, but this was the closest I could find and… I- I wanted you to have something that… would remind you of me…” she said sheepishly.
You studied her face, her cheeks were tainted a lovely shade of pink.
“And you thought… of a dog?” you asked, curious and teasing.
“N-no! I mean yes! Yes I did, because I- I want to protect you, even if I know you can handle yourself I want to be there for you I want to stay by your side at all times. Dogs are a symbol of loyalty. I want to be that for you, a loyal companion you can count on.”
You felt your face heat up as she spoke so firmly, there was no doubt in her mind as to whether or not she meant it or not. She meant everything. She looked almost defiant, like she was saying ‘go on, say I’m wrong I dare you’. But how could you ever say she was wrong when her words felt so good and truthful. You wrapped your arms around her.
“That makes a lot of sense, I- thank you sweetheart.” You pressed a kiss to her cheek. You placed the necklace in her hands and turned around making sure your hair was out of the way. “Help me put it on.”
She wrapped her arms around your neck, clasping the necklace around it before dropping her hands to your hips and pressing herself against your back.
“What materials is it made out of?” You asked, looking at the pendant hanging around your neck.
“Silver.”
You blinked, realizing this was no cheap gift.
“Clarisse-“
“I know darling but don’t worry this isn’t all my pocket money, stole everything from the wealthiests of my family.”
You chuckled, she knew how much you hated the rich as a child of Nemesis. The world wasn’t balanced and you hated it.
“Good, also that means it won’t tarnish and I can wear it all the time,” you said happily.
Clarisse seemed pleased at that, gently kissing the back of your neck.
“Good, I want you to keep it on all the time.”
You untangled yourself from her to turn around and face her. You cupped her face to bring her closer and kiss her. You were glad to have her here, in your home. It made it all so real, it was something to see her at camp, but it was something else to see her in a different context.
“I missed you,” you muttered against her lips.
“Missed you too,” she mumbled before closing the gap between your lips again.
***
Your parent had never seemed to quite understand the whole ‘greek gods thing’ as they said. So most of your conversations with Clarisse were dull to them and they just didn’t listen or pay attention to you. They didn’t mind you loving Clarisse, they didn’t care about you enough to be upset about your love life anyway.
“Did you encounter any monsters on your way here?” you asked one evening as you were lying down against her on the couch.
Your head was resting on her chest, you heard her answer through the vibrations against her face. She’d met a few monsters but nothing she couldn’t handle. You pushed yourself up a little to press your lips to her cheek.
“My little warrior,” you said teasingly. She always whined when you called her your little warrior.
“Don’t call me that!” she barked but there was no bite to it. You were starting to think she secretly liked it.
“Why not baby, you’re my little warrior aren’t you?”
She tried to hide her flush by moving you on top of her so she could press her mouth to your neck, grazing her teeth against your skin teasingly.
“I’m not.” She denied almost petulantly.
You laughed, enjoying her almost child-like behavior, it wasn’t new to you, but she hadn’t been this open about it before.
“Tomorrow’s new years eve,” you said. “Want to do anything in particular?”
Clarisse shrugged. “As long as I get to kiss you at midnight I’m happy with whatever.”
You thought for a moment, there were a few things happening in town but you weren’t sure if it was worth the potential monster attacks with hundreds of civilians near. But you knew your parent would be gone to their friend’s.
“We have the place for ourselves. What do you think about throwing our own little party just the two of us?” you pulled away to watch her. “We can play some music, watch movies, talk. Maybe I can convince my parent to buy us a sixpack of beer…”
Clarisse quirked an eyebrow, smirking. “Oh, drinking underage aren’t we?”
You rolled your eyes but still smiled. “We’re almost both 17 Clarisse, I know the legal age for drinking here is 21 but it’s literally 18 almost everywhere else, and for beer it can even be 16!”
She just burst into laughter when you finished. “Didn’t think you’d get so worked up about it.”
“Yeah well it’s not my fault our government is dumb, if people can’t find their drug legally they’ll do it illegally and that leads to overdoses and alcohol poisoning,” you said firmly.
“I know sweetheart, I know. You already told me that,” she held you closer. “I listen to you, you know? Even when you’re rambling about how unjust the system is and how everything is fucked and we should all live in anarchist communes or something of the sort.”
She might as well have proposed to you with how quick you felt your eyes water. You never had many people close to you and you held closer to your heart the ones who would retain information from all your blabber. She had not only been stayed silent, not telling you to shut up but she had also been listening, like proper listening. Clarisse didn’t say anything but she pulled you closer, pressing soft kisses to your forehead.
“I love you,” you whispered voice slightly cracked.
“I love you too.”
***
Clarisse had been sleeping in the same room as you since she’d gotten here. You didn’t have a large sized bed so she slept on a spare mattress next to your bed. It felt odd after all these nights spent cuddling in your cabin to have her near but not in your arms. You guessed you’d have to get used to it since next summer your siblings would probably be present, you wouldn’t be able to let Clarisse sleep over anymore. Still you were feeling extra cuddly in the winter.
“Darling you’re falling asleep again,” Clarisse said softly, gently brushing your cheek. You had been watching a movie together that evening, you were resting on her shoulder drifting to sleep as you thought about the dream of a cuddly night.
You grumbled and nuzzled your nose into her shoulder.
She chuckled. “There’s no shame in pausing the movie and get back to it tomorrow,” she added.
You weren’t impressed by her point and didn’t move, which made her laugh once more.
“You leave me no choice,” she said as she moved, you whined when her warmth left your side but you soon gasped as she took you in her arms and lifted you up from the couch.
You knew Clarisse was strong, you could physically feel it when your hands fell on her buff arms. And she was the daughter of the god of war, it made sense that she would naturally have the strength of a warrior. But seeing her lift you up like this…it surprised you. You could tell that she wouldn’t drop you, she was comfortable carrying you to bed, in that moment you knew that no matter how much you weighed she would have done just the same, just as easily. And maybe the thought of her training specifically to be able to carry you had crossed your mind but you hushed it away as she put you down on your bed.
“That was… so hot,” you whispered, grasping her arm in your hand to prevent her from pulling away.
Clarisse flushed, you took advantage of her surprise to pull on her arm to make her lose her balance and she fell on top of you.
“Stay with me tonight,” you whispered. “I know it’ll be cramped but-“ you didn’t have an actual reasonable excuse for your demand but you didn’t have time to look for one as Clarisse answered a simple ‘okay’ with that soft smile of hers you’d only ever seen directed at you.
She moved a bit so she wasn’t crushing you, half of her body still on top of you, leg tangling between yours.
“I missed this,” she mumbled, her muscles relaxing more after each breath.
“Me too,” you smiled and pressed kisses to her face until she was giggling.
You let one of your arms travel along her back, muscle memory leading your fingers to that sweet spot on her spine again. She shuddered at the soft touch, letting out a satisfied hum.
“I’d fight a million wars for you if it meant you’d do just that when I’d come back,” she mumbled.
You couldn’t fight against the smile that split your face open. You closed your eyes.
“I’d much rather have you stay safe and I’d still do “just that” because I can.”
***
The next day you hurried to make some breakfast while Clarisse was still asleep. You had noticed she would sleep for hours as long as you were with her, but as soon as you left the room it wouldn’t take long before she’d wake up. You were definitely not a child of Hypnos, and you only seemed to have that effect on her and no one else. And she seemed to only be behaving like this with you and no one else. You tried not to let that fact get to you, but it felt great knowing she trusted you enough to rest in your presence.
You forced yourself out of your daydream and finished putting plates on a tray to bring to your bedroom. Clarisse was stretching as you opened your door.
“Morning,” she said, voice heavy with sleep. She almost immediately noticed the tray in your hands. “You brought breakfast?”
You chuckled at her enthusiasm as you approached her. “I did.”
Clarisse looked at you like you had painted the stars in the sky. She took the food from your hands, putting it away for a second before grabbing your face and kissing you deeply. You giggled and pulled away.
“I haven’t brushed my teeth!”
She raised an eyebrow, slightly smirking. “Do I look like I fucking care right now?”
She didn’t wait for your answer before pulling you in for another kiss. Okay, bringing food as a morning offering truly had an effect on her, noted. She pulled you closer so your knees would bend on the side of the bed. She lost her balance on the bed and dragged you down with her.
“Careful!” you said, your lips still against hers. You pulled away for a second, making sure the breakfast tray was still intact, which it was.
Your lover didn’t give you time to give the tray more thought as she wrapped her arms around your neck and pushed herself onto you. She gently bit your lower lip, tugging at it playfully.
“Clarisse!” you chuckled as you pulled away once again. “Gods, had I known food had this effect on you…” you didn’t finish your sentence.
“What would you have done then?” she practically purred. You flushed, you hadn’t actually thought that far, but you knew you would have used it for your own good. “Mmh, got you speechless huh? Guess that means you feel embarrassed, isn’t that right sweetheart?”
You felt your cheeks get even hotter as your gaze avoided hers. She seemed to find your reaction hilarious as she laughed. She leaned in even closer to whisper: “I’d do anything for you love, you got me wrapped around your finger, and if it’s more kisses you want then more kisses you shall have.”
With those sweet words she closed the gap between your lips again, leaving you all hot and melty. You carefully repositioned yourself, straddling her, you deepened the kiss as your hands travelled to her braids.
“Come on breakfast is getting cold,” you mumbled after a while.
“You’re breakfast enough and you’re plenty warm,” she said.
“Fuck, what is up with you today,” you giggled, flustered.
She simply chuckled and started kissing your neck. You decided actual sustenance could wait as you sighed. You gently pulled her head closer to your skin as she pressed open mouthed kisses on your pulse point. Her hands settled on your hips, pining you in place as she sucked at your skin. She would pull away every now and then, looking at her work and would either switch spot with an approving nod or go back at it. She was marking you, and you let her. Your breaths were shallow and hot by the time she seemed to be satisfied with her hickeys. You felt her gaze go up from your neck to your flushed face. She looked almost stunned at the state of you. All you could do was look at her with hazy eyes as if to say ‘yes, you did that, you made me look this way’.
“Darling….” She sucked a breath in. “You look divinely gorgeous.”
You breathed out a small thank you before leaning in to hug her close. You pressed your face to her shoulder.
“I love you Clarisse.” You were a bit worried you were saying it too much, too often. But the way her body relaxed against yours when you pronounced those words washed your worries always.
“I love you more than anything,” she whispered.
You stayed like this for a while before you got too hungry and decided to eat breakfast. And you did so by resting your legs perpendicularly on top of Clarisse’s, the tray resting on your thighs. Once the plates were empty you tried getting up to clean up but Clarisse wrapped her arms around your waist to keep you there. You giggled at her clinginess but didn’t fight it. You pressed yourself closer and just cuddled with her for a little longer until she released you.
She helped you with the dishes. Although you thought she might have just been trying to find an excuse to always be touching you. You pressed kisses all over her face once you were finished, bringing a soft smile to her lips. She looked so pleased you almost melted at the sight.
After a few more kisses you managed to pull away from one another only to find a note on the counter along with two sixpacks.
“I’m gonna spend the night at Dana’s, don’t make a mess of the place,” you read out loud. “Okay, want to have a friendly Mario kart tournament?” you asked, defiantly.
“OH you’re ON!”
You two ran to the living room, each catching a controller on the way.
After way too long you two came to a draw, she was good at it, but you had played for hundreds of hours. She wasn’t very happy about leaving it at a draw, but you assured her you’d continue later. She still wasn’t convinced until you climbed on her lap and started pressing kissed to her neck. You reached behind her, your hand finding that spot on her back she loved so much.
“At the same time?” she groaned as he back ever so slightly arched at your touch.
You simply chuckled against her neck. You enjoyed those moments with her, when you felt her give up all tension as she melted against you. She tried to return the favor but you grasped her wrists.
“No, it’s my turn to take care of you,” you whispered firmly.
Her eyes widened a bit, and you could feel she was burning to make you feel good but she obeyed, dropping her hands on your waist and keeping them there. You smiled at her compliance.
“Good girl,” you smirked and she flushed.
You let your mouth fall open against the skin of her clavicle, sucking on the skin there, making sure to mark her just as she had marked you in the morning.
“You’re mine,” you mumbled against her neck which made her shudder. You gently bit down on the skin there, not enough to draw blood or leave a dent, just enough to test the waters. You were very pleased when Clarisse let out a strangled moan, she seemed surprised by her own reaction. You used that discovery right away, grazing her skin with your teeth, biting softly every now and then.
When you looked up at her face her cheeks were tinted pink and her breath was short. Her eyelids were half closed as she looked back at you.
“Feeling good?” you asked teasingly.
She nodded, seemingly unable to speak yet. She leaned closer trying to get a kiss from you, and who were you to deny your beautiful girl a kiss.
The evening came quickly and one thing leading to another you were both a beer in dancing to whatever was on the radio. You thought you had read somewhere that Ares was sometimes associated with dance, since some dances were closely linked with the war spirit. However, you hadn’t thought that it would make Clarisse such a great dancer. You knew she hadn’t taken any classes and yet you saw her body move in way you had never seen it move before. Her smirk let you know she knew she was good, and she was very happy to show off. You had stopped dancing, too busy staring at her. She made her way towards you in swift movements, and grabbed your hands in hers.
“Don’t be shy now,” she purred.
Conveniently enough, a rhythmic sensual music started playing. Clarisse pulled you closer, her hands guiding your arms to her neck before she settled her grip on your hips. She used her hold on you to move your hips in rhythm with hers in a way that reminded you of an variation of a bachata, except you two were way closer than you’d ever seen bachata dancers usually get. You let her guide you as the music carried on, hips touching and moving in tandem. You could feel her breath on your face, hot air hitting your skin making you dizzy.
The music came to an end, switching to some new pop song. You felt out of breath and just stopped moving, Clarisse also stopping to look at you.
“Holy fuck,” you whispered with a small smile, peeking at her.
She merely chuckled.
“I- since when do you know how to fucking dance like that??” you were still rather dizzy from all the feelings she’d made you… well… feel.
“Since forever I think, must be in my blood,” she seemed very proud of herself as she spoke.
You nodded, feeling a little out of it. You rested your head on her shoulder and sighed softly. You stayed like this for a while until you didn’t want to be standing anymore. So you pulled her to the couch and made her sit only for you to lie down, head in her lap. You opened yourselves a new can of beer each.
You stayed close to one another in a comfortable silence until you suddenly spoke. “You dance so well,” you knew that by your reaction she must have gathered you’d loved her dancing but you still wanted to voice it out loud.
“Thank you darling,” she smiled, gently stroking your cheek.
“I mean it though, like, you’re sooooo good at it,” you added, even though you knew it wasn’t necessary. You were feeling light headed and you adored the soft flush your girlfriend would harbor whenever you’d praise her- So yes you would repeat yourself over and over if you wanted to.
You two kept drinking as you cuddled on the couch, listening to music and giving each other soft kisses every now and then. Twenty minutes before midnight you had finished a whole sixpack of beer and you were feeling… borderline drunk.
You were slumped against Clarisse’s side, smiling at nothing. Clarisse didn’t look much more sober than you, she leaned heavily into you as well.
“I’m glad ‘m startin’ the year with you,” she mumbled, letting her head fall in the crook of your neck.
“Me too.” You couldn’t help but feel amused as she kept creeping closer and closer by the second.
You pressed kisses to the closest surface you could reach which happened to be the top of her head. She hummed at the contact and started slowly climbing on top of you on the couch, her hands snaking around your waist. She somehow managed to tuck in some sort of ball on top of you, not quite straddling you.
“I want to start every new year with you… I- does that sound unreasonable? We’ve only really been dating for a few months-“ you thought out loud, letting some of your insecurities peek through.
Clarisse cut you off: “I want that too, I want every year with you, every month and every week I want to spend them with you.” She was mumbling against the skin your neck, voice slow and deep and words ever so slightly slurred. But you understood all of it.
You felt your heart beat harder and faster, maybe the alcohol was making you overreact but her words made you feel great. You held her tighter, holding back a sigh of contentment.
“Let’s pray to Aphrodite,” you suddenly said, remembering that half assed prayer you’d done during the summer.
Clarisse lifted her head to look at you, her eyes scrunching like she was trying too hard to read you.
“I- I want to thank her Clarisse, I want to thank her for you and hopefully get her blessing so we can… be together for… longer,” you forced yourself to say ‘longer’ instead of forever, you didn’t want to sound too corny.
This seemed to suddenly force Clarisse into action as she got up from your lap and rushed to the kitchen, probably to grab some food. You got on your feet as well top fetch a candle and a bowl to put the candle in to make sure you wouldn’t accidentally burn the place down.
Once you were back in the living room Clarisse was already waiting for you, sitting in front of the table. Her face lit up when she saw you and she slightly shifted to turn to face you. If she had a tail it would be wagging eagerly at that moment. You set everything up, she looked at your every movement. She gave you some snacks, your favorites, and held her own favorites in her hand. You reached for her free hand.
“What should we tell her exactly?” you asked.
“What you said before… it was good… and I want that too.”
You nodded and on three you both put your snacks in the flame. You recited almost word for word what you had said earlier, adding some nice courtesy words because she was a goddess and loved to be praised. Clarisse added a second ‘please’ at the end of your demand. After a few seconds a distinct smell of myrrh took over the room. You hoped this meant she’d blessed you. You glanced at Clarisse next to you who was smiling widely. You wrapped your arms around her neck and kissed her tenderly.
By the time you pulled away it was a few seconds from midnight, you two watched the clock until the new year started. You started wishing her a happy new year but her lips shushed you.
You truly thought this year might be the greatest you had ever lived.
***
Eventually, Clarisse had to leave, you had given her the now wilting flowers at the station, somewhat recreating the scene of your reunion.
“I’ll dry them when I get home,” Clarisse said as she held the bouquet.
You tilted your head.
“The flowers, I’ll hang them upside down when I get home so they’ll last forever.”
You smiled. “I’m glad,” said before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. You wrapped your arms around her and held her close. “I don’t want you to go.”
Clarisse held you back, close and tight. “I don’t want to go either.”
You stayed like this until her train was about to arrive. Once it could be seen from slowing down in the distance she pulled you into a tender kiss, holding your face in her hands as she did.
“I love you,” she whispered as her train was halting to a stop.
“I love you too,” you answered before pressing one last hurried kiss to her lips before she had to go.
And go away she did. Her train left taking your one true love with it. The walk back home wasn’t fun, it was sad and lonely. It felt empty without her by your side, it was even worse now than at the end of the summer. Back then you didn’t know what your human hometown felt like with her by your side, it was easier to go through it without her then.
As days went by, you continuously received letters from her. She had once even sent you a dried petal from the flowers you’d gifted her.
“So you know I was serious about having them preserved forever” she’d wrote.
She’d become sweeter and sweeter with each letter, at some point she got the genius idea of getting a polaroid so she could send you pictures. You hung each of them on your wall like the proud lover you were. You managed to get a hold of your own polaroid so you could do the same. This helped with communication a lot, since even when neither of you had much to say you could always send a silly picture and it would still let the other know you were thinking about them. She’d send pictures of dogs she found cute, of her room, of herself and you loved that she had taken that initiative, it made the wait for summer easier.