Chapter Text
Shane was about an hour into his two hour drive from Montreal to Ottawa. He and Ilya both had a couple of days off, and Shane was looking forward to spending them together, hopefully in bed. He’d left right after a game, taking time only to shower and change before he hit the road. It had been almost two weeks since the last time they were together, and they were both eager.
Shane was starting to regret his hurried departure when his bladder started to let him know that he’d probably had too many sports drinks earlier in the evening. Fuck. Only an hour to go, he could make it.
By the time he pulled into Ilya’s gated driveway, he felt like he was going to burst. He grabbed his bags out of the back seat and jogged up to the door, trying not look like too much of an idiot. Ilya was already there, opening the door as soon as neared it.
“Hi, love you, but I need to pee right now,” Shane said, trying to push past Ilya and into the house.
“Whoa, wait a sec.” Ilya closed the door and grabbed his arm, spinning him around.
“Ilya, I’m serious, I’m about to piss myself,” Shane whined, though he really did want to just melt into Ilya’s arms and kiss him. It had been a long two weeks.
“Maybe you should let me fuck you now?" Ilya leaned in to whisper it in his ear. "Might ah…enhance the pleasure, yes?”
“What? No,” Shane said, but unfortunately, his cock was giving him away. Ilya noticed and reached down to press his hand against it, and Shane groaned.
“Oh god, don’t do that,” he said, voice high and strained.
“Come on, let’s just try it. We can stop if it’s bad.” Ilya pulled back to look at him.
“No. What if…ya know, I piss myself?” Shane asked. But he could feel himself starting to give in to the idea. Maybe just to see if he could do it.
“So what if you do? Probably feels good. Like orgasm,” Ilya said, eyebrows lifting, mouth curling up.
“But that’s gross. You want me to pee while you’re fucking me?”
“Shane. Do you know how much of your cum I’ve swallowed? How many times my tongue has been inside your asshole?” Ilya asked. “I don’t care about some piss.”
Well, when he put it like that. Between the urge to piss and how his cock was swelling at the thought, he was having a hard time coming up with an argument.
“Okay, hurry up though.” Shane pulled Ilya toward the stairs.
They made it to the bedroom, Ilya stripping off his clothes while Shane did the same. Ilya started to crawl on the bed but Shane stopped him.
“Not on the bed. What if I…if I can’t hold it…not on the bed.” He was starting to question this decision again.
Ilya stared at him for a second and then said, “Okay.” He went into the hallway and came back a minute later with an extra comforter, folded it in half, and laid it out on the floor next to the bed. Then he laid down on it and patted the spot next to him. Shane joined him.
“This is such a bad idea,” Shane said, as Ilya leaned in to kiss his neck.
“It’s not. But if you want to stop, we will.”
Shane knew he meant it. He never pushed Shane to do anything he didn’t want to do. But with his gentle coaching, he did help Shane figure out some things he did want but didn’t know it at the time. Like giving up control, being told what to do. Not all the time, but sometimes Shane loved it.
Ilya reached up behind him to grab the bottle of lube off the bedside table and a pillow off the bed. He put the pillow down under Shane’s head, and Shane laid back against it. Ilya poured some lube onto his fingers and reached down to start massaging Shane’s hole. He slipped one finger in gently, going right for the good spot.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” Shane said, squirming. “I don’t know if I can do this, that’s making it so much worse.”
“Does it feel bad?” Ilya stilled his hand.
“No, it feels amazing. But I feel like I’m going to pee any second.” Shane squeezed his eyes shut and tried to concentrate.
“Stop fighting it. Just let it feel good. You know, sometimes getting fucked makes the bottom piss. Most tops find it very hot. Like a compliment.”
“You know from experience?” Shane asked. It hadn’t happened to him. Yet anyway.
“No, no. Just things I have heard,” Ilya said.
“And would you find that hot?” He was pretty sure he knew the answer, considering what Ilya was encouraging, but he needed to be sure.
“Yes. Watching you lose control, being so overcome with pleasure…fuck yes, so hot. I want to be the one to make you feel that good. That safe,” Ilya said, his voice thick with desire.
“You are the only one who could ever make me feel that way.”
Shane knew he was considered uptight, boring. He was strict with his routine, his image, everything. He didn’t “let loose” like his teammates when they partied after games. He didn’t like to not be in control of himself, so drinking was something he only did occasionally and rarely to excess. But the one time Shane did like to give up control was here, with Ilya. It was the only time his head went quiet, the anxiety and worries melting away into just pleasure and warmth and safety.
“I love making you feel that way. Now, let’s try this. If you want to stop, just say the word,” Ilya said, adding another finger.
Shane moaned, the pleasure and the burn in his bladder almost overwhelming him.
“Please hurry. I don’t know how much longer I can last.” His voice was strained, his bladder on the verge of letting loose with every press of Ilya’s fingers.
Eventually Ilya pulled them free and poured more lube into his hand, this time to stroke his cock with it. He pushed Shane’s legs up to his chest as far as they’d go, then lined himself up at his entrance and slowly pushed in.
“Doing okay?” Ilya asked, his voice strained now.
“Oh fuck.” Shane was having a hard time forming any other words.
“Shane? Do you want me to keep going?” Ilya said, voice a little more steady now, a little more serious.
“Yes, it’s just intense.”
Ilya started to move, very slowly at first, giving Shane time to get used to the new sensation. As his speed increased, Shane felt like his whole body was on fire. The intensity was overwhelming. The discomfort of his full bladder was overridden by the waves of pleasure washing over him. But he knew he was very close to losing control.
“Fuck Ilya, so good. I don’t think I can hold it much longer.” Shane tried not to let the panic of that fact interrupt the pure bliss he was feeling.
“Stop trying. Let go,” Ilya murmured. “Let go for me.”
Oh fuck. Shane didn’t know if he could. His body wanted to but his brain was screaming at him that he couldn’t. That pissing himself was gross and embarrassing. Then he looked up into Ilya’s face, slack with pleasure but eyes burning with desire. He was looking at Shane like he was the sexiest, most precious thing in the world. That look never got old. It made Shane feel loved, wanted, perfect. He knew nothing he could do right now would make Ilya stop looking at him like that.
“Oh fuck,” he said, as he felt the first splash of warmth against his belly. Ilya was looking down, watching it happen. Shane couldn’t control it anymore. Each of Ilya’s thrusts were pushing it out more forcefully. Ilya had been right, it did feel amazing. Like little orgasms, over and over. Shane moaned, eyes rolling back. He’d never felt so out of control. So free. It was like lightning shooting through him, burning away all his anxiety and insecurities, burning him up with pleasure. He couldn't stop the moans slipping out of his throat.
“Oh god, Shane. That’s the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen,” Ilya said, voice ragged. “Let go, sweetheart.”
The term of endearment was enough to send Shane over the edge. His orgasm hit him hard, waves of intense pleasure like he’d never felt before. He almost felt like he was going to black out for a moment, his mind going fuzzy and blissful, his body weightless. He heard Ilya shout and felt his hips stutter and then still. A moment later, Ilya collapsed on top of him, his head pressed into Shane’s shoulder.
“Holy fuck.” Ilya leaned forward to kiss Shane.
Now that he was coming down from the pleasure, the shame was starting to creep back in. Ilya was laying on top of him, and he was covered in piss and cum. It had run down Shane’s sides, soaking into the comforter beneath him. His cheeks burned. Ilya pulled back, looking down at him.
“Hey, hey…what’s wrong? It wasn’t good?” he asked Shane, looking worried.
“No, it was amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever come so hard in my life. But I…it’s…” he trailed off, trying to figure out how to explain the embarrassment of the mess he was currently laying in.
“Why don’t you go get in the shower? I’ll join you in a minute,” Ilya said, gently pulling out of him and sitting back on his heels.
“What? No…I need to clean this up.” He was trying to figure out where to put his hands to push himself up, but he was surrounded by it. He was starting to panic now, reality setting in.
“Shane,” Ilya said, cupping Shane’s face in his hands. “I’ve got this. Go get in the shower.”
“No, this is gross, I can’t let you clean this up.” He scrambled to his feet, not wanting to give Ilya a chance to do whatever he was planning to do.
“It’s not gross. It’s no different than cum. Just a little more of it. Nothing about you is gross. That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. Okay?” Ilya said. “Shower. Go.”
Shane nodded, trying to believe what he was saying. He went into the bathroom, not looking back at his boyfriend and the mess he’d made.
A few minutes later, Shane stood under the hot water, letting it wash everything away, feeling calm and boneless once again. Ilya stepped in beside him. He leaned in and kissed Shane immediately, letting his hands run up and down his back.
“What did you do with the comforter?” Shane asked. He didn’t know why he needed to know, but he did.
“I threw it in the wash. No big deal,” said Ilya. “Now you can stop worrying about messes. No mess.”
“Thank you.” Shane leaned into him. “God, why was that so hot?”
“Because it was naughty, and you like to be naughty, Shane Hollander. You also like when I make you lose control,” Ilya murmured, kissing his neck.
“I do, but I never considered…that form of it,” he said. His mind wandered back to the time Ilya gave him a blowjob while he was on a phone call with Hayden. Some of the very light BDSM they’d explored together, with restraints and blindfolds. His recurring dream of being fucked in front of other people. Yes, he supposed he did like to be naughty sometimes.
“It can just be something to do once in a while. For fun. There are plenty of fun ways to give up control. We can try anything you want,” Ilya said. “I love everything we do together. But that really was so fucking sexy.”
Shane knew he meant it. He knew he was safe with Ilya. Free from judgement, from the expectations put on him in the other parts of his life. Here, with Ilya, he could let go. He could put all of those other things aside and let Ilya take care of him. He craved the soothing pleasure, the way his mind would go calm and quiet. Only Ilya could do that for him.
“Thank you,” he said, nuzzling into his neck. “I love you so much.”
“I know, moya lyubov,” Ilya said, holding him tight. “I love you too.”