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Kate gazed at her ever-adoring husband Anthony. They wore silk robes over their pajamas. The morning sun crept in through the half-drawn curtains. She skimmed the backs of her fingers along his jaw. She gently tugged his beard flecked with grey. He growled and kissed her quickly.
Anthony held Kate’s other hand, his thumb sweeping over hers. Edmund cooed between them. They smiled down at their sweet son.
“To think you wanted to return to Bridgerton House immediately.” Anthony remarked.
Kate rolled her eyes. “It would not have been as bad as you imagine.”
“We would never be able to enjoy such a peaceful morning.”
“It is nearly tea time and we have yet to leave our bedchambers.”
Edmund scrunched his eyebrows in concentration. He looked from his beautiful Amma to his handsome Appa. He clapped his hands happily and squealed.
“Edmund agrees with me.” Anthony nodded decisively.
“You are projecting your opinions onto our baby.” Kate said drolly.
Kate and Anthony had not written to their family to anticipate their return to England. Nor had they written to say that they would stay at Aubrey Hall for a week before journeying to London for the remainder of the season. Benedict kept Anthony informed about business matters. The rest of his siblings wrote to Kate to tell her about everything else (and to seek her advice).
Kate never considered that this could be her life. She did not dream of it. Such dreams would have required more hope than she knew to hold. Tempering her expectations made for a satisfactory life. She tucked away the part of her that yearned to be a mother. Not a governess. Or head of household.
—
“Half-sister.”
There were few things that could have hurt her more than Edwina spitting out “half-sister.” With such disgust and contempt. Despite being the only responsible parent Edwina had ever known, that is who Kate was to Edwina.
Mary remained a shell of herself until Edwina and Anthony’s cursed wedding day. Kate never fully allowed Mary and Edwina to know her. They were delicate ladies whose spirits had not been hardened by their challenging circumstances following Appa's death. They did not live in the same reality as she did. How could they, when she shielded them from it?
They often teased Kate for being too competitive. Her words too sharp. Her demeanour too guarded. As a result, she softened herself around them. She tried to smooth her jagged edges. Mould herself into someone who could be lovable.
What Mary and Edwina characterised as outright lies were what Kate considered omissions of details for their protection. Mary never asked how they were able to afford anything. She took for granted that Kate would handle their family’s affairs. Yet she criticised how Kate secured Edwina’s dowry, when she left Kate no other choice.
Whatever Edwina wanted, Edwina received. Kate had ensured as much throughout Edwina’s life. Kate mended her own unstylish dresses so she could purchase the latest fashions for Edwina. Every book or trinket Edwina desired, Kate gave to her. She sacrificed herself for crumbs of acceptance and affection from Edwina and Mary. She tried her best, but it was not enough.
Kate was never rewarded for her efforts. Not that she had expected to be. Everything she had ever done was for Edwina and Mary. Edwina’s season was nothing short of a disaster. As much as she tried to avoid Anthony and discourage him and Edwina from the match, she was summarily ignored.
After her bangle fell at the altar, her worst fear came to fruition. When confronted with the choice between her stepdaughter and her biological daughter, Mary cast out the former for the latter. Her stepmother and half-sister confirmed that if she made a mistake, they would easily dispose of her.
“Go! Anywhere else but here, Kate!”
Kate fled down the corridor and flung herself into the nearest closet. Anthony found her and refused to leave. She knew then that she had to board the next ship to India. Though, she briefly wondered if he would follow her there. She had caused enough damage. Mary and Edwina would be better off without her. It would be as if she and Anthony never met.
“Everything I did, I owed it to you.”
“You owed me nothing! You never had to earn your place in this family. Love is not something that is ever owed. You came into my life as a daughter, and I never saw you as anything else. It grieves me to think you do not believe you deserve all of the love in the world."
Her stepmother’s reassurances rang empty. Hours after Mary left her bedroom, Kate wept. She knew deep in her bones that Edwina and Mary took for granted that she would always accommodate them. Take care of them. Never ask them for anything in return.
How could she believe she deserved all the love in the world when her only family would not freely give her love? She was the provider. The problem solver. Buckling under the weight of the pressure to keep their family from drowning in debt.
—
What if Kate’s bangle had never fallen? Her chest tightened at the thought. Anthony confessed that he hallucinated her standing in front of him at the altar. He swore he would not have been able to go through with it. That he only tried to at her behest.
Weeks after the wedding that never was, Edwina and Kate sat beside each other in Lady Danbury’s sitting room. The silence was deafening. The half-sisters stared into their teacups.
Edwina set her teacup down on its saucer carefully. The china tinkled, echoing through the room. Kate looked at her expectantly. Edwina clasped her hands in her lap, trying to steel her nerves.
“Didi,” Edwina began, “I should not have let my anger get the best of me.”
Kate nodded. “Agreed.”
Edwina stiffened. She was not used to her didi being this forthright with her. Edwina was Kate’s favourite person. Didi never took her outbursts personally. She assuaged Edwina’s guilt. Let Edwina’s hurtful words roll off her shoulders. Insist that it was alright.
Edwina shook her head. “You are not my half-sister.”
“I am, though, bon.” Kate shrugged. “That is the truth of our circumstances. Is that not what you fretted over at the beginning of the season?”
“You have always been my sister.” Edwina’s bottom lip wobbled. “Fully.”
“I have been your teacher.” Kate corrected.
“More so my mother.” Edwina whispered, “And my dearest friend.”
“I suppose.” Kate replied curtly.
Edwina blinked back tears. “I am truly sorry, didi.”
Kate sighed. “I did you no favours by coddling you, bon.”
“I hope that one day you forgive me.” Edwina sniffled.
“I already have.” Kate sipped her chai. “But it is better this way.”
“How?!” Edwina whined.
“I know what you and Mary actually think of me.” Kate placed her empty teacup on its saucer. “When I make another mistake—as I will because I am human—you will shun me once more.”
“No!” Edwina cried.
“Because I am not related to you by blood.” Kate smoothed the heavy fabric of her dress in her lap. “I shall remind myself of this fact when I am at risk of believing you and Mary love me.”
“Of course we love you!” Edwina frowned. “You should have more faith in us.”
“Why?” Kate raised an eyebrow.
“We will prove you wrong.” Edwina insisted.
—
Shortly after Kate and Anthony’s betrothal was announced, Lord Isaac Lumley resumed courting Edwina in earnest. Edwina had initially been charmed by Isaac’s love of poetry. She was delighted to find that he was well-versed in philosophy and a plethora of other subjects.
Edwina and Isaac found that they were both the affable second-born siblings of renowned formidable eldest siblings. His eldest brother Peter knew Anthony from Parliament. Edwina and Isaac enjoyed long promenades in the park. Attending lectures at the university. Admiring art in museums.
Isaac assumed that he would be seeking Kate’s permission to propose to Edwina. Peter noted that Anthony may also be present as Kate’s fiancé. Peter also advised him to speak slowly to combat his nervous tendency to ramble.
Isaac arrived at Danbury House on a rainy Wednesday morning. Footman James led him to the sitting room. Isaac removed his hat, gripping it in his clammy hands.
“Lord Lumley for Miss Sharma.” Footman James announced.
Footman James bowed and returned to the foyer. Isaac bowed and sat in a chair across from Kate and Anthony. The betrothed couple mirrored each other’s perfect posture. They sat a respectable distance from each other. Kate placed her right hand atop Anthony’s left. He turned his hand over to interlace their fingers and squeeze her hand reassuringly.
“Lord Lumley.” Kate remarked, “I believe I know the reason for your visit this morning.”
“Yes, Miss Sharma.” Isaac said slowly.
Anthony’s brow furrowed. “Are you well, Lumley?”
“Yes, Lord Bridgerton.” Isaac continued at nearly half the speed he normally spoke. “Why do you ask?”
“You appear to be wasting Miss Sharma’s precious time with your dawdling.” Anthony snarked.
“I would never!” Isaac’s eyes widened, speaking at his usual pace. “Miss Sharma, as I would hope it was apparent, I love Miss Edwina. Would you please grant me your permission and blessing to propose to her?”
Lightning struck and thunder clapped in the distance. Kate jumped in her seat. Anthony pulled her closer. She leaned against him for support. She shot him a worried glance. His eyes softened. He held her hand in both of his, dragging circles into her palm to soothe her.
Kate turned back to Isaac. “Love is not enough.”
Isaac’s eyebrows threatened to disappear into his hairline.
Anthony added, “The future Viscountess merely wants to ensure that Miss Edwina will be taken care of.”
Isaac exhaled in relief. “Miss Sharma, Lord Bridgerton knows my eldest brother Peter from Parliament.”
“Sensible fellow.” Anthony recalled. “Solid investments.”
Isaac straightened in his seat. “Peter has ensured that our entire family will want for nothing.”
“Very well, then.” Kate nodded. “Will your solicitor need to meet with ours to discuss Edwina’s dowry and the other unromantic details of your future engagement?”
“That will not be necessary, Miss Sharma.” Isaac shook his head. “I only wish to marry Miss Edwina.”
Thunder struck again, louder and closer.
“It is settled.” Anthony stood suddenly, “Good day, Lumley.”
Isaac hastened to his feet. “Good day, Miss Sharma. Lord Bridgerton. Thank you!”
When they were alone once more, Kate sighed.
“Edwina and Mary do not know that thunderstorms still unsettle me.”
Anthony’s jaw twitched. “Unfortunately, that does not surprise me.”
She cut her eyes at him. “Anthony.”
“Kathani.” He said sternly. “That is the nature of love, dear fiancée. I shall continue to hold a grudge long after you have forgiven those who have wronged you.”
A smile tugged at the corners of Kate’s lips. “Is that so?”
“You do the same for me.” He brushed an errant curl behind her ear.
“Do I?”
“Your fierce loyalty is one of the most admirable things about you, my love.”
“What are the others?”
“Lady Danbury will most certainly throw me out of her house if I were to stay the rest of the day to rave about how wonderful you are.”
“Who are you and what have you done with my irascible fiancé?” She teased.
“I am the definition of calm when I am around you.” He grinned.
“Never impulsive. Or excitable.”
“Always levelheaded. Never rash.”
—
For over a decade after their fathers’ deaths, Kate and Anthony had soldiered on. Kate secured her family’s survival, while Anthony secured his family’s prosperity. Kate’s heart swelled when Anthony proposed that they travel to India together so their child would know both sides of his heritage.
Anthony suggested that they allow the rest of their family to manage their duties whilst they were away. She did not realise she needed the respite. She never imagined letting others handle any of her duties.
And yet, with Anthony, Kate had grown accustomed to relying on someone else. She often teased him about his incredibly romantic proposal, but he kept his promise. He was imperfect but humbled himself before her every day. He was the only person she could trust enough to let herself be vulnerable around him.
They shared their triumphs and troubles. They still butted heads. But their arguments were usually silly squabbles. More often than not, they debated who would go to sleep and who would stay up with Edmund on the nights he awoke fussy.
Kate and Anthony slid down to Edmund’s eye level. They closed the space between them. Edmund yanked Anthony’s nose with one hand and clasped Kate’s index finger in another. Anthony snorted exaggeratedly. Edmund shrieked with delight. Kate dissolved into a fit of giggles.
Anthony kissed Kate softly. Edmund pressed his nose to her cheek.
“Amma.” Edmund cooed.
“Smart boy!” Kate praised.
“Traitor.” Anthony muttered, then said clearly, “Appa.”
“No.” Edmund shook his head. “Amma.”
“He’s his mother’s son.” Anthony grinned.
“You would not prefer it any other way.” Kate raised her chin haughtily.
the end