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“Did you see that, Shinny?” Sou reaches out to the sky, pointing at the shooting star that just went by both of them, as they’re lying on the cold ground.
“Mhm… It was beautiful.” Shin responds.
Sou grins. A moment of silence fills the atmosphere—interrupted by Sou’s affirmation. “…I love you, you know that… right?” Sou inches closer to Shin, tugging at the ends of his teal hair.
“..I love you too.” Shin turns to Sou, giving him a warm smile. Sou smiles back, kissing Shin on the cheek and leaving Shin’s cheeks flushed.
The two cradle each other in the chilly, cold night. Embracing the others’ warmth, under the twinkling stars shining down on them.
Morning sunlight peeks into the lovers' bedroom, glistening through the shades.
“Mm… Morning~” Sou grumbles as he kisses his lover on the neck.
Shin fidgets. “Morning..” He says, smiling at Sou, eyes still half-asleep.
Sou chuckles at the sight. “C’mon, let’s have breakfast.” Sou sits up on the edge of the bed, patting the teal-haired man’s messy hairdo.
The two eat their breakfast, chattering and laughing with each other.
…A moment later, and Sou’s phone starts ringing.
“You should pick that up,” Shin suggests.
Sou follows, taking a look at who’s calling him.
“Ah…” Sou’s face turns pale.
Shin tilts his head, “…Are you okay, Sou? Who is it?” he asks, with concern flashing all over his face as he sees his lover’s face transitioning from cheerful to distressed.
“…I— I have to go. I’m sorry.. I love you.” Sou abruptly stands up, grabs his keys from the counter, and leaves the house in a hurry.
…Shin stays frozen, failing to comprehend what just happened. It all went by so fast.
Who.. was that? Why was Sou suddenly so… different?
Two hours pass by and Sou still isn’t home. Shin tried to call him but he isn’t picking up. He tried messaging him, yet all of his messages were not delivered…
He’s finished all of the chores, laundry, dishes, tidying up every little imperfection there is. Yet, still no Sou.
..A knock on the front door echoes through the quiet house.
Shin stands up from the couch, “That must be Sou.” He thinks to himself.
He opens the door, expecting to see Sou in front of him, towering over his figure.
But.. No? It’s a woman.. blonde hair, bold red lipstick, and a dress that hugs her slim figure.
“Hello dear~ You must be Sou’s boyfriend, right?” The woman steps inside, not caring if she wasn’t invited to enter. The strange woman roams around the entrance, eyeing the place.
“Do you know who I am?” Giving Shin a cunning smile.
“Uh.. No… Who are you exactly?” Shin fidgets. Who is this woman and why is she just barging into our house…?
“I’m Sou’s ex-girlfriend.” She exclaims, leaving Shin silent.
“I guess Sou hasn’t told you, judging from the look on your face.” She baffles, sitting down on the couch.
“He’ll be home soon, don’t worry~ Come sit down with me for now.” She pats the cushion beside her. Offering you to sit, like it’s her own house.
Questions roam around Shin’s head, he’s confused, angry, and jealous. What is Sou’s ex-girlfriend doing in their house…?
Sou sat beside her, keeping a safe distance. “What is it that you want to tell me…?” He fidgets, anticipating what she’s about to share.
“Well, dear, Sou has been cheating on you.” She says, with an annoying smirk on her face.
Shin freezes. “…What?”
“You heard me! Sou. Is. Cheating. On. You!” The woman laughs cunningly.
“And he’s cheating on you, with me~” She whispers, proudly. Like it’s some kind of achievement.
...Shin is baffled, confused, and stressed. What is this woman saying? Why is she telling him this? Why… Why would Sou cheat on him…?
The woman chuckles. “Oh, poor you. You must be so confused~ Well, at least I’m here telling you early. It would’ve been even more heartbreaking seeing Sou and me together, right?” She teases.
Shin opens his mouth, still taking in all this information being thrown at him like a brick. He tries to speak, but nothing comes out. He’s weak, stubborn. He can’t defend himself, he can’t…
The front door opens with a slam. Sou searching the room in a hurry, body full of sweat, panting.
He sees you. And the woman.
You’re sitting beside her, your face emotionless, body numb. His demeanor worsens.
“Shin..! Don’t believe whatever that woman is saying to you!” He runs to you.
“Ohh! Sou, darling, you’re finally here~ Too late though, I already told him everything.” The woman smiles, wickedly. Gently patting Sou’s back.
“S–Shin… No… Please, tell me you don’t believe her…” He’s kneeling in front of you, breath hitching.
. . .
Shin only stays quiet.
Like he’s lifeless.
He already is.
He doesn’t… know.. anymore.
Sou shakes Shin’s body. “Shin… Please, listen to me…”
. . .
“…Leave,” Shin speaks.
Sou’s eyes widen. “What..? No… Shin, please…”
Shin slaps the man’s hands clasping over his arms. “I said leave. Both of you.”
“Tch.. Come on, Sou.” The woman suggests, rolling her eyes.
Sou is stunned, frozen. He felt like he just been run over by a truck.
Shin stands up, walking up to his bedroom. Leaving the two in the living room, motionless.
A minute passes by, and Shin hears the front door click.
Thank God. They left.
. . .
. . .
. . .
A week goes by. Sou hasn’t contacted Shin. No text messages. No calls. Nothing.
Like.. he never cared at all.
. . .
. . .
. . .
A month goes by. Life has been feeling even more shitty. Sou has completely forgotten about you.
You finish prepping yourself to sleep after a tiring workday. Not until your phone buzzes on the bedside table.
You look over to see who it is…
It’s… Sou.
…Sou is debating whether he should answer.
Yet here he is, pressing the phone to his ear. Eagerly waiting for Sou to speak.
“…Shin?” His voice is disoriented. It’s like he’s been crying for hours.
Shin pauses, “…What?”
“Shin!… Thank you… T–Thank you for answering! I– I… wanted to apologize..” His voice cracks.
“…Please.. Just leave me alone.” Shin speaks, his voice low and soft. He’s been through a lot.
“N–No! Please…! I need to talk to you…” Sou pleads. “I love you. I never stopped loving you. Every day without you has been hell… I made the biggest mistake of my life letting you go.”
He waits for you to say something, anything. But your silence is deafening.
“I want you back. Please… I want us back. I’ll do anything…” His words are raw, painful, and honest.
Shin exhales. “Sou.. You can’t have something back once you’ve already thrown it away to ashes.”
The line goes silent.
When he finally speaks, his voice is shattered. “Did you think I didn’t know I burned everything to the ground?” He pauses.
“I do.. But, the ashes are still mine, aren’t they?”
Shin’s breath hitches. For a moment, the atmosphere goes silent.
He’s hesitant to say anything.
Shin builds up the courage. “…I said no. Please, leave me alone.” He hangs up.
. . .
“I just did that…” he runs a hand over his head. Faintly laughing to himself.
He goes back to lie on his bed. Contemplating on his life, and why he even exists.
Shin reminisces about all of the memories he has made with Sou.
He laughs to himself. He’s an idiot. He’s weak. He’s useless.
He cries himself to sleep tonight. Like his usual routine.
. . .
Ring!
Ring!
Ring!
It’s all endless.
Sou won’t stop contacting Shin.
He regrets everything he’s done to him.
Sigh.
One rainy evening, Shin has just finished his shift. He’s in the kitchen, eating his dinner.
He finishes up and lazily cleans the dishes. The atmosphere is calm, with the rain showering, the water running through the faucet, and the dishes clattering over each other.
He walks up to his bedroom and lies on his bed. Tired. Exhausted.
…Ringggggggg!
His phone is ringing again.
“Ugh.. What is it now…?” Sou exclaims, knowing who it might be again.
..He guessed correctly. It’s Sou.
“I’m outside your house.” His text message says.
Shin’s eyes enlarge. What do you mean he’s outside Shin’s house… Right now?
Shin stands up and peeks over his window.
He sees Sou standing in the rain. Drenched. Holding a bouquet.
Sou feels a presence and looks up at Shin’s window.
His eyes glisten. Though, there’s a hint of emptiness inside them. Filled with guilt and shame.
He finally got to see Shin. His, Shin.
Both of them are just… standing.
One inside, warmth and coziness enveloping his skin.
The other, shivering, suffering from the wetness and coldness of the pouring rain.
Shin hesitates for a moment. Contemplating whether he should see Sou or just leave him there to freeze.
. . .
Shin sighs. He’s standing idly at his front door. Holding the doorknob.
He twists the knob, met by the other man’s tall figure, towering over his. Drenched in rainwater, dripping from his hair and clothes. Eyes red from crying. Hands shaking from the cold and nervousness.
“Shin…” He sounds pitiful.
“…What are you doing here?” Shin crosses his arms. The cold wind brushes over his delicate skin.
“I came here to say sorry, Shin. Please… I regret everything I did to you. I regret betraying you. Cheating on you… You’re everything to me, Shin… Please… Come back to me…” Tears start welling down his cheek mixing with the rainwater.
Disgusting. Shin thought to himself.
Yet… there’s still this ache in his heart that’s fluttering as Sou speaks. He finds it disorienting.
“Please. Stop doing this to yourself.” Shin finally speaks.
“No… Shin please I’m doing this for us—“ Shin cuts him off.
He scoffs. “There isn’t an “us”, Sou. Have you forgotten already? You cheated on me. You’re the one at fault. You toyed with me. You’re the one who ruined my life!” Shin is practically screaming at him, yet the sounds of the pouring rain are making it all sound dull.
Sou is just standing there. Still. Astonished. He tries to speak, but nothing comes out.
“…Just leave. Please.” Shin leans over the door frame faintly.
His breath is ragged. “Okay… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for disturbing… For everything.” He takes a step back, taking one last look at Shin before he turns his back. Clenching the bouquet he was supposed to give to Shin.
He walks over to his car, and the rain doesn’t stop pouring. It only worsens.
He opens the car door, but stops for a second.
…His knees fail him. Sou kneels, his whole body weak. “Ugh…”
Shin witnesses. Flinching at what just happened.
Does he… help him? He can’t have someone outside his porch just… lying there, all passed out in the storm.
He groans. “Fuck my life. Honestly.”
He runs to Sou. Getting wet as well.
“Huh…?” Sou’s vision is blurry, his hearing faint as the rain just keeps on getting louder.
Shin forcefully grabs Sou by the wrist, practically dragging him back inside his house.
After a few tries of trying to carry Sou’s weak body through the door, Shin succeeds. Sadly.
“Haah… Hah… I hate you. I hate you so much.” Shin pants.
“S–Shin… Why…?” Sou is lying on the floor, panting as well.
“…I can’t just have some lifeless body outside my house during a storm.” Shin protests.
Sou smiles. “…Thank you.”
“…You can shower first,” Shin suggests, turning away from Sou.
Sou’s eyes enlarge. “Really…? Thank you…”
Shin snobs. “Just borrow anything big from my closet and you can leave.”
Sou nods. Heading straight to the bathroom. As he had stayed there for a long time when Shin and he were together, he knew where every room was located.
20 minutes pass. The storm has finally calmed. Shin is sitting on the couch, impatiently waiting for Sou to finish.
Sou finally comes out of Shin’s bedroom and is wearing Shin’s clothes.
“Um.. Thank you for helping me. I’ll be going now…” Sou fidgets, a hint of disappointment on his face.
“Mm.” Shin doesn’t look at Sou. Just orders him to leave immediately.
Sou doesn’t say anything anymore and leaves the house.
As soon as the door clicks, Shin lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“God…” He’s so disappointed in himself. Why did he even help him? Why would he even talk to him in the first place? He should’ve just let him die outside.
Shin runs a hand through his hair, frustrated and tired. He stands up and walks upstairs to his bedroom. He can finally rest.
…10 minutes pass.
Ding!..
Ding!..
Ding!..
Ding!..
Shin slams his hand onto his phone. “Ugh.. What now?!”
He grabs his phone from the bedside table and opens Sou’s messages.
He sent over 6 messages, yet the only message that caught Shin’s attention was the singular photo…
Sou was sitting on the edge of a bridge.
He knows it's not fake because he’s wearing Shin’s clothes, the ones that he had just borrowed.
He sends one last text message.
“I’m sorry for everything. I love you so much. Goodbye.”
That immediately sends shivers down Shin’s spine.
. . .
He abruptly grabs his car keys and rushes to where Sou was. He knew where he was, that bridge was close to where the two of them would spend their dates lying on the grass and watching the night sky linger above them.
Sou is only one push away from falling. He doesn’t know why he’s even waiting. He knows Shin wouldn’t bother to even read his messages.
Just as he was about to push himself off—
“Sou!!!” Shin shouts out his name. Panting, and catching his breath from rushing to catch up to him before it was too late.
Sou freezes. Looking back to see Shin hastily coming out of his car.
“..Shin? What are you doing here…” His hands grip the edge.
“What do you think you’re doing!?” Shin shouts out.
“I– I’m…” Sou is at a loss for words. Why… Why was he doing this? Why was Shin trying to save him? Didn’t he tell him to leave? To never come back… And forget everything…
Shin, breathless. “Why… Just why do you keep doing this to me?!”
“…I don’t… know. I thought that, if I disappeared… You would be happy…” Sou is practically sobbing as he speaks.
“…I’m not a monster, Sou. I’m nothing like you.” Shin points out.
Sou’s eyes widen. “I’m sorry. You’re right.. You should go… Just let me be, please?” His grip on the edge loosens a bit.
“No.” Shin immediately responds.
He watches you carefully, eyebrows slowly furrowing, his bottom lip trembling. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”
He starts to sob quietly, his body shaking with the force of his tears.
He takes a shuddering breath, preparing to let go and jump.
“I love you.” He whispers, his voice breaking.
Before he lunges himself into the cold, rushing water. Shin runs and stops him. Hugging his waist, his grip so tight it's turning his knuckles white. “Don’t….!”
He gasps as your arms wrap around him, freezing mid-motion. Your grip pulls him back slightly from the edge.
“Let go…” He whispers, “Please…” He collapses against you, now sobbing openly.
“I hate you… I hate you so much…!” Shin screams all his emotions out.
He doesn’t follow why he’s doing this, but he is.
Sou lets out a broken laugh-sob against Shin’s chest. “I know… I know you do…”
He clings to him desperately, his fingers digging into his shirt.
“Hate me, just… don’t let me go… please…” He’s completely falling apart in Shin’s arms, the weight of everything finally crushing him. “I can’t do it anymore.. I can’t do this without you, Shin..” He breaks out in sobs.
“I love you… Please, let me fix this.” He pleads.
“…Even after all this time, I still come back crawling to you…” Shin cries out.
Sou hugs him tighter. Never wanting to let go. “You’re my everything.. When I'm looking into your eyes, everything becomes ours. So please, come back to me. Let me make this right.”
The sound of the aggressive water rushing down below, the stars glistening beside the dark atmosphere, the midnight sky illuminating above..
Sou kisses Shin on the lips, after what felt like an eternity of not being able to touch him, to feel him.
The two melt into each other, breaking the kiss and staring into each other’s eyes like it’s the best view in the entire universe. They laugh together.
Now it’s for the better, right? The two could never want anything more than this.