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Teru cracks open a beer with one hand, lighting a cigarette with a flick of the other, before taking a drag of the nicotine. Smoky air curls up from his lips as he breathes out, staring out at the pitch black of the ocean, in the dead of night, as he sits in the sand.
Inky waves lap up against his bare feet, his designer boots already off and set to the side. He lazily hangs his arms over his knees, the cigarette still tight between his lips. He breathes in again before pinching it between his fingers, breathing out and taking a long drink of his beer.
“Fuck,” he mutters into the empty air.
Razor wind cuts into his skin, the cold late autumn air shivering him down to the bone. His hair whips around his face erratically, stinging his eyes. He quickly chugs the beer, crunching it with his powers before floating another out of the box, cracking it open as it hits his fingers.
What a pathetic excuse for a man…
Sitting in his fresh-pressed jeans, fashionable bright pink sweater and his leather bomber jacket. He looks like he is some pre-teen trying to find his fashion, not a 27 year old man who wandered from his host club job to the beach to drink away his problems after yet another long shift.
Absolutely pitiful.
He takes another drag of the cigarette, down to the blunt before flicking it into the sand.
Why did he have to come back into his life…? And to keep showing up to his club? Teru wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep himself together.
He buried those emotions, those feelings, the connections away where no one could find them. Set out on his own, with no family to call his own. Just how he liked it. He had a job that made him good money, using his talents to its fullest. He didn’t need anyone.
At some point he should have learned better, but 14 years old is too young to learn all of life's lessons.
Another long drink, the buzz barely noticeable, only a flutter. He is still thinking far too much. Fingers flex around aluminum, nails digging in slowly.
No matter how hard he tries, or how much he stares out at the dark waters, all he can see is his face. His adorable bowlcut hair. His broad shoulders.
His smell.
A huff and a breath, clutching the can tighter and tighter and tighter until he screams and shoots to his feet.
*CRACK!!*
He crushes the now drained can in his hands and throws it down with all his might, the small tin exploding the sand into dust. A breath, another gasp, grunting and teeth grinding.
“FUCK!!”
Yellow mixed with orange and green sparks from his fingers as he swipes his arm down, screaming in frustration. His powers explode around him, knocking up sand and instantly turning it into glass. Shards of gold arch around him like an enclosing cage, glistening in the darkness of night. Sweat drips down his cheek, lips salty, as wetness pricks his eyes.
How could he let this happen? Why couldn’t he get over this one person? He had dated, broken hearts, threaded all walks of life. He hurt so many and moved on without a glance.
But him—
—Teru could not just get over him.
Even now. His hair, his smell, the way his eyes shine red in certain light, how he looks when reading, how his powers make his hair rise when he is embarrassed. He can’t stop seeing, hearing, smelling him.
Moss
A disjointed smile spreads across his face and Teru snaps out a laugh.
Lavender and cedar
He presses his hand over his mouth, a laugh mixed with a sob wet in his throat. “What is wrong with me?” He whispers, laughing again as he presses the heels of his hands into his eyes before screaming. “What is wrong with me?!”
“Nothing’s wrong with you.”
…His heart stops, his throat closes up and Teru slowly turns towards the voice.
Standing a few paces up the beach, shoes in hand, is him. He nearly blends into the darkness with his black hair and black coat. The only color is the crimson of his eyes, and the glow of the universe around his body.
Before him stands Shigeo. And Teru has no idea what to do. His mouth opens and closes, stammering as ice freezes his limbs and throat. How did…?
“I happened to be in the area and sensed you, and I thought I would see what you were doing.”
Finally, Teru finds his voice. “You happened to be in the—It’s 1 AM!” He shouts, spinning around.
It almost looks like Shigeo is embarrassed. “Mm. Okay. I lied. I came looking for you.”
That statement floors Teru as he sinks to his knees, the golden glass slowly reverting back to sand as Shigeo steps forward, his powers helping melt away the spikes. “I– ...Why?” Teru stammers, staring down at his hands. “Why.”
Shigeo gently places his shoes next to the other pair before kneeling in front of Teru. “You looked sad after I left. I was worried.”
Teru’s head snaps up, his pierced brows furrowing. Their eyes lock before Teru tears his gaze away, fingers digging into his pants, teeth grinding. “I don’t need your pity.”
“Teru,” Oh god his voice – it shakes something in Teru’s soul. “I've never pitied you.”
“...” No words pass beyond his lips, his lips shaking as he bites them. He doesn’t know what to do with this. Why is Shigeo here, what does this all mean?!
Teru raises his head, a sudden burst of energy as he tries to gain his footing in the conversation. “Tell me why you're here. Why do you keep coming to the host club I work at?”
Black hair ruffles in the wind, as Shigeo stares back with impassive eyes. They then break contact, and he pulls at the fabric on his jeans. “I’m sorry if I was distracting you from your job. But seeing you again after so long, made me feel… jittery. In a good way. Like I suddenly could talk for hours even though I never can do that. Hanging out with you again made me feel… warm. Comfortable. Like I could… also not say anything. And it was okay. I wanted to keep seeing you.”
Teru swallows the dryness in his throat as the waves crash behind him. Shigeo presses his hand to his chest as he continues to speak. “I didn’t feel this way about you when we were younger. But I always felt so sad to lose contact with you. It felt so sudden. It hurt a lot. I wasn’t sure why it hurt so much.”
Guilt stabs Teru's stomach and he sucks in a breath. “I didn’t–”
“It hurt, but I also know life happens. Claw, meeting you, all of that happened when we were so young. I knew that wasn’t enough to keep us all together. Tsubomi is overseas. Ritsu went to university in Osaka. You moved away. We grew up…”
Shigeo pauses, taking a deep breath, before letting it out slowly. Teru waits for more, but it seems like that is all Shigeo had to say.
Waves crash behind them, inky black waters. Ready to swallow Teru whole.
Fear… it’s fear that grips him like a spider in his chest. Squeezing with needle-like appendages, compressing his heart.
Waves crashing louder.
Squeezing tighter.
Waves cracking like cymbals in his ear.
Tighter still.
He looks up, opens his mouth to speak before he is cut off by his own sob. Shigeo jolts, startled, and Teru jumps too. “A-ah I, sorry, I don’t—I don’t know why that happened!”
Shigeo inches closer. “It's okay to have big feelings,” he says softly.
Teru sniffs. This sucks. This sucks so much.
He just has to say it, without any flair or flourish. Without any preparation or thought. Now or never.
“I have been obsessed with you since we were teens,” he confesses into his hands as they cover his face. “I thought I got over you, but I didn't. I ran away… I’m absurd. I’m obsessed, I can’t stop thinking of you, I'm too much. I’m going to be too much–”
Arms wrap around his shoulders and pull him into a chest that smells like musky beer and warm cinnamon. “You don’t get to choose whether you are too much for me.”
Another sniff. “I’m not a good person…”
To his surprise, Shigeo chuckles. “You always say that. I’m not either. But we’re always trying. That's the most important part, right?”
“I hurt you… I hurt Reigen… I work at a job that—that is going to embarrass you.”
Shigeo answers with a hum. “I am pretty sure if you apologize to Reigen he will forgive you. And if you don’t like your job, you can always quit. But it’s not morally good or bad. It’s just a job. I also don't mind if you stay.”
…It IS just a job, isn’t it? A job he got to pay his bills in university that slowly turned into something full time. A job he got sucked into, stuck in, because he was GOOD and he made GOOD money. But he never left feeling good. Often getting drunk at work before crashing at home. Or going off with a client for some extra cash. It was just a means to an end.
“...I…” He starts, pauses before sinking his head into Shigeo's coat. “Shigeo, I don’t think you realize how bad I will be for you.”
“Again, you don’t get to decide that.”
Teru sinks in further. Gosh why does Shigeo smell so good?! How is it possible for him to smell just perfectly musky and also warm? It makes no sense. It’s not logical. It soothes his muscles like aromatherapy.
“I have commitment issues.”
“Mmhm.”
“I drink and smoke way more than I should.”
“Mmm.”
“AND,” Teru raises his finger to the sky, almost like a certain old mentor of theirs, laughing. “I have both mommy AND daddy issues, and was hunted down as a kid by a crazy psychic organization trying to brainwash me! So you know, just TOSS that onto the pile of my baggage!”
Shigeo just holds him tighter. “You laugh, but I know that hurts you deeply.”
Teru’s laughter subsided. “Y…yeah……”
The lapse into a silence, only broken by the waves. Teru slowly winds his arms around Shigeo’s chest, holding tight. “You got some nice pecs under here,” he teases, trying to break the serious tone of their current conversation.
He feels Shigeo's aura flare in embarrassment. “U-Uhm, thank you. I still work out.”
Teasing Shigeo Kageyama into a blushing mess. Teru could get used to this.
They sit in a silent embrace until they break and Shigeo sits next to him, winding their fingers together as they look out over the sea.
The waves gently dip in and out from the shore, calm. Quiet.
What happens now?, Teru wonders as he stares out into the endless ocean. Was that a confession? Are they supposed to go on dates now? What about his job at a host club – Shigeo said he didn’t care, but did he realize that Teru would be flirting with clients to get money? Is he truly okay with that?
His mind starts to run, churning faster. Thoughts blocking out the quiet.
Until Shigeo leans into his shoulder, and rubs his face into the skin, causing goosebumps and a pleasant tingle to run down Teru’s spine. Shigeo doesn’t stop moving, hands pressing closer. Mouth breathing over sensitive arteries.
Teru always saw himself as experienced. Taking the first step, knowing exactly what to do next. But his overthinking always caused him to pause in his step before he took it.
But Shigeo is blunt. Once he has an idea, he drives forward with it. True to himself in every action he takes. No overthinking, no second guessing.
So when Shigeo’s face slowly moves up and up, from neck to cheek to lips, Teru tries to keep up, his mind running through every scenario to make sure what is about to happen goes perfectly. But true to form, Shigeo gives him no time to overthink as he presses their lips together in a deep and nearly forceful kiss. Every thought disappears, as a mouth moves around his own.
Teru had dreamed of kissing Shigeo, and he always was the one taking the lead. He imagined that he would gently take Shigeo’s head and tilt it to the side and give him the smallest, most gentle kiss. And then he would pull back and look at the cute and blushing face of Shigeo Kageyama. He thought of every scenario of how to do that kiss. Every angle, every chance of it going wrong. Every way to recover with a clean and confident smile.
This kiss is… A little rough. Messy. Shigeo is pushing too much, and he should tilt his head to the side more. But it’s also so much exactly how it should be.
Shigeo pushes in more, fingers wandering and pressing and pressing, eventually pushing Teru back into the sand and Teru accepts the pressure, the kiss deepening. Shigeo’s hands pet his chest, ribs, and stomach. Rubbing, exploring.
Teru presses his knee in between warm thighs and inwardly grins when Shigeo bucks without meaning to. He winds his fingers into charcoal hair, and he hums in delight. The texture is soft, a few split ends at the tips, but exactly how he imagined it all these years. Light, beautiful, the softest hair he had ever laid his hands on.
Bodies press together into the sand, hips twitching in contact. Shigeo breaks the kiss, gasping as he drags his mouth back to Teru’s neck and kisses the skin eagerly. A whimper breaks from Teru’s lips, his fingers gripping Shigeo’s coat that now blankets them in darkness, body arching.
His brain starts to come back online… this has to be too fast, right?
Shigeo’s lips find his again and the kiss is firm, before parting again. His body jolts and a gasp of pleasure escapes his lips as fingers wander under his sweater to bare skin. This has to be too fast… right!?
Teru thought Shigeo would be inexperienced. Shy and soft and scared of intimacy. Perhaps that was his fantasy version. This Shigeo is forceful, strong, and knows exactly what he is asking for. Shigeo guides the kiss, he initiates the pressure, he runs his hands along skin and legs.
This isn’t too fast for Shigeo, Teru realizes. Shigeo knows what he wants—there is no overthinking, there is no second guessing. And maybe, what Shigeo wants is…
Teru gently nudges Shigeo’s shoulders, trying to ask for his attention. Shigeo immediately responds, pulling back, breathing shallow and heavy. His eyes are bright, nearly glowing in the darkness of the night.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Teru can’t help but whisper, hopefully soft enough that Shigeo doens’t hear. But a burst of pink around Shigeo’s body tells him he did. Teru smiles and runs his hands along blushing cheeks, thumbs pressing along lips. “Oops, the secret is out,” he says softly. “But maybe we should… take a minute.”
“A-ah! I–yes,” Shigeo stammers, pulling back even more. “Sorry, I… I hope I didn’t move too fast. I didn’t realize—”
“Shigeo Kageyama, if it were me driving the train, it would probably have been another decade until we kissed,” Teru teases with a grin. “You act on what is in your heart. No worries like I have. I would love to continue. But also…” he grimaces. “I’m getting sand in my hair…”
Shigeo scrambles off of him and quickly pulls Teru to sit, brushing off his back and hair. “Ahh! Sorry, sorry, sorry!”
“Okay, stop apologizing, it’s fine. I just would rather continue this on a bed. Or couch. Or even the floor of my apartment. Just… not sand.”
Shigeo nods and hums, still trying to get the sand out with his fingers. Teru helps brush it out until there is a slight tension in the air. The burning question.
What happens now?
Maybe Teru should fight bluntness with bluntness. “So, Shigeo… what now?”
If he is surprised, he doesn’t show it as Shigeo sits back on his heels. “I would like to keep kissing you. It felt better than I expected. But it’s also,” he checks his watch. “1:47 AM.”
That’s too late, and ripe for bad ideas. “Maybe we go back to my place. I can take a shower to get this sand out of my hair. And we attempt to not make a bad decision and go straight to bed?”
Shigeo lets out a small laugh and Teru’s whole chest swells with adoration. “Yeah, I would like that. I want to be with you right now. That’s all I need.” Shigeo stands up, dusting off his pants and holds his hand out, helping Teru stand. They both pick up their shoes, walking towards the concrete and slipping them back on.
As Teru is tapping his boots to make sure his feet are fully in, a hand brushes his hair from his eyes and tucks it behind his ears. Warm, like the sunrise that will greet them in a few hours. Tears prick Teru's eyes and he quickly turns his head away, readjusting his jacket, before noticing a glint back in the distance near the water.
“Oh, my beer,” he mutters, floating the box over from the beach. “Can’t be littering.”
Shigeo chuckles and reaches down, picking up his hand and squeezing. He starts to walk, leading them forward. Teru stares down at their hands, the warmth inside him building.
Maybe it’s about time he stopped running.